Courage
by IllBeYourYoongi
Summary: Linguistics expert Nancy McAllister was just supposed to come in and translate the readings from the Bifrost in New Mexico. Until she stayed on in New York... And became Loki's newest obsession. **Due to thematic elements in later chapters, this fic is now rated M**
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: HUGE shout-out to DeviantArt's ReSurrendered-Hero, who is co-writer of this entire fic. Nancy is her character, and she plays everyone involved or related to SHIELD. I, as per usual, play Loki and various other Asgardians. Please enjoy.**

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Agent Nancy McAllister sat behind her desk, nervously nibbling on the end of her pencil. In front of her, four screens ran numerous different programs. Audio recordings were translated into text for further analysis later. Hand gestures and facial expressions were noted and marked. Pages from countless tomes of mythology took up one entire screen. But, the screen in front of her was far more important than any of the others. On this particular screen, live footage of the holding cell was being recorded as Agent Natasha Romanoff interrogated the alien criminal, Loki of Asgard.

Nancy mumbled to herself as she lowered her pencil, making a note on the pad of paper in front of her. Her eyes never left the screen.

 _Gestures to allow Romanoff to speak. Believes he's in control. Listens well. Considers her words. Methodical._

"How do you do that?" one of the agents behind her whispered in her ear.

"Shh!" she shushed him harshly, "Listening."

"I like this." Loki's voice rang clear over the speakers in the room, "Your world in the balance and you bargain for one man."

 _Finds pleasure in control. Word choice shows prisoner is proper and refined. Displays characteristics of noble upbringing._

"Can you? Can you wipe out that much red, Drecov's daughter?"

 _Soft tone typically associated with comfort and understanding. Used to cause pain instead. Knows what will hurt her. Has done research on Romanoff?_

"This is a child at prayer. Pathetic!"

 _Lets his temper get the better of him. Raises voice for emphasis._

"You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers."

 _Words are precise. Calculated. Used as weapons. Prisoner must retain his control, even while confined._

"You pretend to be separate," Nancy stopped writing, her pencil dead still on the page, as she focused on his speech. "To have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors, but they're part of you. And they will never go away. I won't touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work. And when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim."

Nancy's pencil resumed its work. _Words cause fear and pain. Verbal knives._

"You're a monster." Romanoff's fake tears seemed to be working.

"Oh, no." Loki chuckled, "You brought the monster."

"Banner?" Romanoff spun to face Loki, "That's your play?"

"What?" Loki's expression told of his confusion.

 _Total confusion at losing control. Relies heavily on the power of his words. Words without power renders him powerless._

Nancy glanced next to her, slightly startled, as Agent Coulson leaned closer to the screen.

"What did he mean by 'mewling quim'?"

She chuckled softly as her eyes met Coulson's soft gaze. "Believe me, you don't wanna know."

"I believe I do."

"And I believe you don't."

"McAllister."

"Coulson." With a sigh, she leaned back in her chair. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. 'Quim' is the Victorian-era term for the discharge from a woman's… er… well…" She cleared her throat in an attempt to sensor the word. "While 'mewling' can typically be described as the sound cats make when they're… searching… for one another. When the female… is in heat. So, in essence, he pretty much called her a-"

"I get it." Coulson raised a hand to silence her before she could finish her sentence.

"Right. Told you." Nancy turned and shooed the rest of the agents away from her station. "Alright, show's over. Back to work."

She looked up when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Good work, McAllister."

Coulson let his hand drop to his side and turned to leave.

"Uh, wait, sir." Nancy turned in her swivel chair to look at him, "My psychoanalysis on Loki is nearly complete, but… I don't have enough information to complete it. Do I have your permission to access to the rest of the files? The stuff from the New Mexico project. We worked together, but you never allowed me access to your reports. I'm interested in the aliens. Thor and the other four. Their culture, their dress, their language. They were all from Asgard. Perhaps your reports will show me something I overlooked. What seem to be minor details to you, of their dress and mannerisms, are vital to my work. If we understand Asgard, perhaps we can understand Loki. Everything connects to everything else."

"Why don't you just go talk to Thor?"

"Um… well… he is a bit busy, isn't he? I'll interview him later. Right now, I'd rather just look at the reports."

"You have access to whatever you need." He smiled at her, and then turned and left.

Nancy grinned to herself as she turned back toward her desk. She had access to anything she needed. She picked up her pencil and twirled it between her fingers, thinking of Coulson's words. Anything. Anything at all. Files. Reports. A certain prisoner. Why rely on computer scans and video recordings when she had the real thing just a few decks below her? Thor was interesting, but not nearly as interesting as his brother. She wouldn't get too close. Just close enough to make a few observations. She could only see so much from the cameras, after all.

She quickly removed a hidden flash-drive from the system and placed it in a satchel stashed under her desk. A stack of hard-copy files also went into the bag. In an instant, she logged out from her station, grabbed her notebook, tucked her pencil behind her ear, threw her satchel over her shoulder, and headed for the stairs.

It only took a couple of minutes for her to reach the detention level. She peaked around the corner of the containment room, noting where the cameras were. She didn't want her higher-ups to see that she was spying on the prisoner. She took a couple of steps into the room, careful to keep to the shadows. She'd heard Loki's statement that few could sneak up on him and hoped he was lying.

With a grin, she carefully turned to a new page in her yellow legal pad and began taking more notes, hoping Loki couldn't see her from where she was hiding.

* * *

Loki tilted his head ever so slightly, listening to the new footsteps. A woman, judging by the sound of heels on the stone and metal. Not Agent Romanoff. She had gone to see to the great beast. He also heard the sound of pen on paper. So, someone who thought they could invade his mind. He almost chuckled to himself.

His curiosity got the better of him, and he quickly left a clone on the bench and veiled himself in invisibility so he could observe her right back. Once glance up and down her figure told him more than enough.

Pretty, average height. Hair as red as an Asgardian sunset. Eyes the color of a bejeweled ocean. Not skinny, but not overweight either. Smartly dressed. Single judging by the lack of a ring, and bookish. Very bookish. Perhaps she also had a bit of fire inside, or so he liked to imagine. She could be fun. If only he could see inside that head of hers.

He quickly returned himself to where he had been, causing it to look as though he never had moved. He ensured he still focused his attention on the ground. And then he began.

"I gather you should not be here."

Nancy jolted when she heard him speak. "No, I suppose I shouldn't. Probably not one of my better ideas." She glanced up at the cameras, knowing the director was probably busy, which meant they were unattended. The most he could do was chew her out anyway. And glare at her with that menacing eye. She could get over it. Gathering her courage, Nancy slowly approached the cage. "But, I had to see you. To meet you. You've caused quite the stir around here." she gave him a soft smile, "It's not every day we have a mythical god in our prisons. I'm Agent Nancy McAllister, linguist and profiler. And I'm here to find out what makes you tick."

Loki chuckled sinisterly. He didn't quite understand the expression, but he got the gist. She was there to achieve what Agent Romanoff had failed to do. To crawl into his mind and pluck out whatever would be useful to them.

"I'm afraid I won't be of much use to you then. It isn't often I allow others to see the true monster inside."

Nancy grinned at him, then glanced down at her notepad. ' _The true monster inside'. Possible metaphor for his true dark nature. Probably not. Just a scare tactic._

"Scare tactic." she mumbled unknowingly, then looked up at him again, brushing a strand of red hair behind her ear as she did so. "Well, you've given us quite the show so far. You've killed eighty people in two days, gave a great display of superiority to the people of Germany, and thoroughly scared poor Romanoff out of her wits. I think you're already pretty monstrous."

Nancy leaned against the yellow railing and nibbled on the end of her pencil, studying his features. She had to admit, he was quite handsome. His green eyes, despite their facade of mild amusement, were stunning. Nearly mesmerizing. The way his hair was slicked back, like that of a true royal, added to his aura of majesty. He did look like he could be quite kind if he tried to be and really was worth looking at. She lowered her hand down to her notepad again, her eyes never leaving his person.

 _Fake smile, but genuine emotion behind his eyes. Solid gold insignia on this breastplate. Confirms theory of noble birth. Ensign is of a golden crescent. When in battle armor, wears horned helmet. Cuckold personified._

Nancy grinned and glanced away from him, trying to hide her laughter.

"I'm sorry." She put on a fake polite smile, tried to compose herself, and then looked back at him. "I just thought of something concerning that golden crescent on your armor, but you probably won't understand the reference. ...Well, considering the era you seem to be from, perhaps you will. Are you familiar with the beliefs of Elizabethan England?"

Loki tried not to roll his eyes, instead choosing to study the floor even harder. He was more aware of Elizabethan English customs than she was, he was positive of that one thing. She hadn't been there. "You would be… _surprised_ how much I understand."

Nancy grinned wider. "Alright. Then I don't have to tell you. You already caught the reference." She shyly looked down at her notepad again, not wanting him to see her smile. "Guessing your age, you're probably the one who started it in the first place." Unable to help herself, she glanced at him again.

"Perhaps you overlooked one crucial detail." Loki replied, low and sinister.

Nancy's smile faded. "And what would that be?"

"I am not the fool, but rather the fabled lover his wife escapes to." Loki said, dead serious.

Nancy gave a small breath of relief. "You? Really?" She made another note. _Full of himself, which explains god-complex._

Loki smiled to himself when he realized she didn't believe him.

"So, why Earth?" she asked as she looked over her notes again, trying to connect the dots, "Of all the places in the universe, why here? Why us?" She looked at him again.

Loki said nothing, but continued observing her silently. He didn't even look up.

"Oh. Silence." Nancy took a step closer. "You must remain in control, even when it means you don't talk. Funny, how one 'mortal' could make the great Silver Tongue stop talking."

Loki let his smile fade, hating that she insulted him. She had no idea what was coming.

Despite her jests, she couldn't get him to speak or even look at her. For a hot-head, he sure knew how to clam up. Getting a bit frustrated, Nancy tapped on the glass. Perhaps treating him like a fish in a bowl would grab his attention. Loki still refused to look up. With a sigh, Nancy turned away.

"Fine. Be that way. I know why you chose Earth anyway. Enjoy your silence." She began to walk away, expecting him to question how she got her information.

"I will. Thank you."

"Ha!" She turned back towards him, accepting the break in his silence, "And silence is so easily broken! Ya know, you're fun, if nothing else."

The words left her mouth before she realized how much trouble they could cause. She leaned against one of the yellow railings, gloating in her victory. In an instant, one of Loki's clones appeared behind her.

"Oh, _I_ am fun, am I?" Nancy shrieked and dropped her notebook, cowering with fear. How had he gotten out of the cage? She began to back away from him, not noticing the real Loki still behind the glass. "I rather think _you_ could be quite fun." Loki continued, advancing on her.

"O-oh?" Nancy asked, trembling. She shouldn't have provoked him. Now he was going to kill her. She swallowed hard. "How so?"

"I think you know."

Nancy's heart raced in her chest. Every breath seemed to bring him closer and closer. Suddenly, her back found the metal of the wall behind her. She was thoroughly cornered between a homicidal god and an impenetrable wall. Just as she opened her mouth to scream, he disappeared.

She stood there for a moment, trying to recover from her shock. How could he just... disappear? Finally, she glanced towards the cage. Loki remained still, unmoving. As if he'd never left the spot. Nancy released a breathy laugh. He'd only wanted to scare her.

"Scare tactic... to regain control." She stooped to pick up her notebook. "It worked."

Again, Loki said nothing. He was still trying to determine how she would react to things.

Noting his continued silence, Nancy walked back over to the cage and sat down cross-legged in front of it. Thankfully, she was wearing her dress-pants.

Two could play at this game of silence. This unspoken power-struggle between them. She knew he had to speak eventually, he was too narcissistic not to, and she'd be right there when he did. Surely he'd have some threat to make. Some right to claim as his own. He'd get tired of the silence and speak to her, if only to hear himself speak. And she'd be right there, watching and waiting, listening for even the smallest whisper.

Loki remained where he was, unmoving, trying to make out all of her nuances.

As Nancy continued to sit there, she shifted uncomfortably on the metal floor. This was not her best idea. Surely he assumed her fidgeting was out of nervousness, but it wasn't. Not entirely. Her legs were just falling asleep from her sitting too long on the floor.

"Geez," she finally commented, "You can hold a position."

Loki took her words as a challenge, trying not to move an inch.

Nancy sighed as she realized he was far more skilled at this game than she was. He was as still as a statue, while all she could do was fidget around. Finally unable to bear the metal floor any longer, she stood and leaned against one of the rails.

"Blink." she coaxed, "Do something!"

Just then, a loud explosion shook the ship. Nancy, thrown off balance by the blast, fell forward and smacked her head on the railing in front of her. She slumped to the ground, unconscious, as blood began to drip from a cut above her right eye.

Loki finally looked up and smiled.

"It begins."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Guest, JigokuShoujosRevenge, and (OMW!) Shorty McGee! Thanks all for first chapter reviews. Here's chapter two! Remember that reviews keep us writing - both me and DeviantArt's ReSurrendered-Hero. So you should leave one letting us know what you think. Thanks!**

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A loud inhuman roar jolted Nancy awake. It echoed from the decks above her, spiraling down and bouncing off the thick metal of the ship. Reverberating in her already pounding head. A sound that could only be created by one creature. Oh, no. Images of footage played out in her mind. Scenes of fire and destruction. An indestructible, hulking green monster, rightfully named, was loose on the ship. Lovely. Absolutely lovely. They were all going to die.

A drop of blood dripped down from the cut over Nancy's eye and momentarily blinded her. She lifted her hand to her face and carefully pressed her fingers to the painful spot. When she pulled them back, her fingertips were streaked with blood. With a bit of effort, Nancy sat up and groaned softly. Her head was absolutely pounding. She glanced up at the yellow railing, identifying the culprit. That's when her eyes landed on the cage. Empty. It was empty.

She quickly spun around on the floor and locked eyes with Loki. He was out of his cage, free as a bird, with a blue-eyed guard on either side of him. They were agents. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. How could they be so easily compromised? That staff, his scepter. Full of its dark magic that could turn the minds of even the brightest men. Fear crept up her spine and into her veins, causing her blood to run cold. If he could simply take anyone he wanted, why was he just standing there, staring at her?

Loki smirked at her. This mortal who thought a cage could contain him, like all the others. She amused him. Greatly. If he thought it would bring him pleasure to hold her mind in his hand, he could so easily turn her like he had the others. But, that would never do. No, no, no. He wanted only to change her mind, not destroy it. To make her see how terribly wonderful he could be to those who chose to be kind to him. To obey him. And he would, soon. For now, however, he watched her scramble.

Still cautious of what he was planning, but fearful of what he might be planning to do to her, Nancy quickly gathered her things into her satchel, preparing to make her great escape. But first, she had to grab everything. So many things were scattered about. Papers. Pens. Folders. Contacts-case. Drops. Gotta have the drops. Might need those later. Notepad. That's important. And... the flash drive. Wait... where is it? Oh, here it is. She quickly pulled her satchel onto her shoulder and stood.

The two locked eyes again as Nancy stood there, preparing to flee. They were alone together in one brief moment in time. Even time seemed to stand still, as Nancy gazed into his green eyes. So menacing. And yet... there was something... more. The instant passed as quickly as it came, and Nancy bolted for the door.

Loki rolled his eyes at her. As though that would keep him from finding her again. If he wanted to collect her – when he had time to collect her – he would. She was, after all, the most interesting of the dull agents that had been assigned to him. Someone who broke rules to get her way and attempted to wiggle her way inside his head. But, for now, he had other matters to attend to.

Nancy ran out the door and made her way safely into the hall. She paused for one brief moment to catch her breath and glance back into the room. He let her go. She couldn't believe it. He actually let her run away. Turning away again, she bolted for the stairs, heading back up toward her station. Up, up, up. Up three floors. She was bound and determined to be of some help to someone, even if all she could do was follow orders. If she died in the line of duty, so be it.

As she reached the top step, the ship began to tilt. They'd lost an engine. No, two. It would only tilt like this if they'd lost two. They were falling from the sky. Nancy tried to hang on to the railing, but her arms were too weak. She knew she wasn't like the other agents. She never went out on missions or fought the bad guys. She only went to the training sessions that were mandatory and spent most of her days behind a desk. This was what she got for being a pencil pusher.

Nancy screamed as the railing slipped from her fingers. She went sprawling back down to the detention level, backwards down the stairs, tumbling over the railing, and down the final flight. As she landed on the metallic ground below, her head smacked the metal with a sickening crack. She fell unconscious, the taste of blood rising into her mouth.

As she began to regain conscious, Nancy heard the sound of a blast. It was distant, but she heard it. At that same moment, she heard a soft thump next to her, like the sound of something large landing in a heap. With a groan, she opened her eyes. A mass of green and black lay next to her, unmoving. The longer she looked at it, the more her eyes focused. Suddenly, she realized who it was. Loki. Someone must have shot him with something powerful.

With another groan, Nancy pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. A sudden pain in her side caused her to cry out and grip the wound. She must have broken something during her fall. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed something flickering, and looked that way. Fire ringed the melted and scorched edges of a large hole in the metal wall. So there was a blast after all. She looked down at Loki again, studying his calm face. He looked harmless when he was unconscious. Of course... maybe he wasn't unconscious. Maybe the blast had killed him. After all, it was strong enough to shove him through the wall. Surely he couldn't have survived a blast like that.

Curiosity finally got the better of Nancy and she timidly placed her fingers on his wrist, checking for a pulse. She gasped when she felt it.

Loki groaned as he woke. The blast from the gun, based on the Destroyer... he should have known it would knock him back. He should have braced himself and not underestimated the dying agent. If he didn't hurt so much he would move. Slowly, his senses began to return. Then, he felt the hand on his wrist. Someone trying to detain him no doubt. He instinctively grabbed his attacker's wrist.

"Ow! Let go!" Nancy cried, more out of fear than pain. She pulled back, trying to free herself from his grip, but he was too strong. His hand held fast to her wrist like a vice, able to crush it with little effort, she supposed. She awkwardly kicked at him, still trying to get away, but the pain in her side weakened all action. "I was just trying to see if you were alive!" she explained, "You are, so let go!"

"As you were _just trying_ to worm into my head." Loki opened his eyes to stare at her. Nancy McAllister. The fact that she had stayed when she found him said much about her. He smirked. A woman whose mischief wished to rival his own. Something he rarely found in Midgardians. There was no denying it. He must have her. He must make her his, and only his. Tame her, bend her to his will. Yes, it would prove a worthy challenge. Behind him, Loki could hear guards fast approaching. Drat. Something would have to be done about that before he could do anything about the girl. He slowly released his newest obsession."I will see you in a moment." He moved to ward off his attackers.

As Nancy struggled against him, she heard the running footsteps of a group of agents. Combat-level agents. Soldiers! She turned as much as she could to look down the hall and saw them running towards her. Perfect. The perfect distraction.

Her blood ran cold at Loki's words, but as soon as he released her, and turned to face the guards, her attention turned to her satchel. All her supplies were scattered everywhere again, forced out of her bag by her fall. She immediately began to gather them up, listing them off one by one to make sure she had them all. And she definitely needed to get a zipper for that bag. She'd get one of those new top-of-the-line satchels, with lots of pockets. And zippers. Lots of zippers.

With the last paper finally in place, Nancy stood, and not a moment too soon. A guard flew past the spot she was moments ago, nearly knocking her over in the process. She could feel the slight breeze created by his momentum as he flew past. One last look to the brawl in front of her, and then she was gone down the hall, seeking somewhere – anywhere – to hide.

She went up a flight of stairs and down a hallway. What level was this? Agents' Quarters Sub-Alpha. She tried a door. Locked. No wonder, the system was down. Which meant the computerized lock system was down. Up another flight, down a ladder, around a corner. Then another. And another. In a door. Out one more. Round and round and round. Nancy continued on, feeling like she was in a very, very bad dream.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Loki appeared in front of her. She stumbled to a stop, the pain in her side beginning again, and nearly crashed into him.

Loki didn't bother to reach out to steady her as she stumbled to a stop before him. He looked into her eyes first, then allowed his gaze to rove over the rest of her, from her head to the tip of her black shoes. Assessing everything about her. Reading her fear.

"Yes. You will do nicely." Loki snatched her arm and held tight. If she was any sort of agent, she would fight him, and he wanted to be sure to have a good point of leverage if she did. He knew he was stronger than she was. He always would be. Noting the time and the animalistic growls from the bowels of the ship, Loki turned for the door and dragged her after him. They had best leave before the beast tore the ship to shreds. He had stayed too long already.

"Oh, no you don't." Not going down without a fight, Nancy twisted a bit and landed a kick straight to the back of Loki's knee. He sank to the ground, stunned. While he was disoriented, she yanked his arm behind him and bit down, hard, on his hand that held her.

Loki cried out and released her. He had never expected her to bite. Perhaps he had overestimated her intelligence, after all. It was never wise to attack him. Even less so to bruise or cut his flesh. Loki always found his revenge.

Successfully freed, Nancy turned and bolted. She had to get away. He would be furious now. She _had_ to get away. But the pain... the pain in her side... it was unbearable.

Though he was furious – she had, after all, escaped him unscathed – Loki now knew what to expect. He stood to his feet, checked his time schedule to ensure he indeed had time to take her with him, and followed after her. He didn't even have to run. His long stride easily caught up with her fledgling footsteps. He wrapped an arm around her waist and decided to drag her that way. It would be easier than attempting to pull her along without breaking her arm.

Nancy cried out in pain as he grabbed her. His grip was too tight. She struggled, trying to elbow him, and stomped down on his boot with the sharp heel of her shoe. It didn't even leave a scratch. Nearly out of options, and weakened by pain, Nancy threw her head back, smacking her head into his.

Although Nancy was a talented fighter, Loki managed to avoid most of her attacks, save the head-butt. However, it barely hurt. He would wager that her head throbbed far more than his. He was, after all, used to sparring with Thor. He continued dragging her along with him, toward the quinjets. Near the exit doors, an agent raced towards them, gun drawn.

"Nancy!" he reached for her hand.

"James!" Precious James! Her one true friend in the world. Well, not really. They'd just shared a few drinks one night and quite possibly a bed. But, still. James! She grabbed his hand, still trying to fight off Loki, and held on for dear life.

How dare this pathetic mortal try to take his prize from him! Loki raised the staff. A bolt of blue energy sent this James careening against a far away wall, successfully tearing him from his grip on the woman. He would remain unconscious, at the very least.

"No!" Her one chance at freedom had been blasted right out of her hands.

Loki stopped long enough to pull his spear back to his side and growl into the woman's ear. "I do not share my playthings well." He readjusted his grip on her waist and continued on. He felt it then, something was wrong with her. Something in her mortal body had broken or torn or bruised. There was a certain gash in her side, and he hated to admit it but the irregular blood flow he sensed in that area concerned him.

He shook it off for the time being. He would do his utmost to decipher what was wrong, but not now. They had to leave soon, or his rebellion would be defeated.

"I refuse to be your plaything!" Nancy clawed at Loki's hands as she continued to thrash. But, still... the pain in her side. She couldn't fight as fiercely as she'd wanted to.

Unfazed, Loki chuckled. She really had no say in the matter. He kicked open the nearest door and hauled her out into the bright sunlight. That, at least, was sure to throw her off balance. Perhaps that would give him the time to determine her injuries. He couldn't have her dying on him. That would never do. He would fix her, and then he would have his way with her mind.

Nancy blinked from the suddenness of the bright light. She was nearly blinded by it. Her strength was quickly fading and she began to calm down, unable to fight him any longer. The pain was just too much. She couldn't fight him anyway. She wasn't strong enough. At least, not right now. She panted harshly, her heart racing from her struggle and fear.

Loki felt her calm and held in a smile. Good. She was a fast learner. Perhaps she would be easier to teach to obey than he had anticipated. Pain was a powerful teacher. He hauled her toward one of his confiscated quinjets and looked to his nearest henchman. He didn't know the man's name, only that he had been one of Barton's SHIELD recruits. He narrowed his eyes and made his request in one word. "Barton?"

"Romanoff intercepted him," the man answered, looking beyond Loki to some unseen realm.

"Pity," Loki clucked his tongue. Barton had been... indispensable. But, he would play the hand he had been dealt. He handed his new plaything off to a bevy of henchmen. Six or seven, if he counted correctly. He didn't release her until he was sure they had firm hold of her, hands and feet. Only then did he utter his instructions. "Plane."

They wouldn't need more than that. Oh, this day could not get better. Midgard at his beck and call, the world's heroes falling from the sky, and the perfect plaything to distract his uneasy mind. Yes, this would be fun. He funneled his thoughts into his henchmen's minds and beckoned them to hurry.

With little hesitation, the men held her tightly and moved to drag her aboard. Meanwhile, Nancy could only cry out from the pain in her side.


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on, guys! ...It's me!" Nancy begged between her screams of pain, "Don't do this! ...Please!"

But no one listened. The former agents dragged Nancy onto the plane and tied her down into one of the seats.

Loki surveyed the damage one more time. The airship fell from the sky. Pathetic S.H.I.E.L.D. agents scrambled to and fro, attempting to right it. The beast broke through their carefully crafted rooms and terrorized the crew. The Iron Man attempted to remedy the broken turbine. Yes, his chaotic work had been done, and now he was satisfied with the outcome. They would all be too busy fixing this mess to think about the next battle he would start.

The back hatch closed behind him as he stepped into the plane and took his seat. The henchmen that had come with him on this plane had already dispersed to their various positions around the interior. Loki smirked, pleased with this new bit of mischief, and turned to look at the girl.

Nancy leaned her head back against the cool metal of the cabin and tried to regulate her breathing. Every breath was excruciating, causing her body to quiver and recoil. Something was seriously wrong. This wasn't just a broken bone. It was worse. Far worse. Something, some major organ, must have gotten crushed during her fall. She was dying.

"And so grows the death toll." Nancy commented, breathless, as she opened her eyes and looked at Loki. "Bastard."

Loki chuckled. The girl had stamina and strength, that was for sure. He shook his head. "Yes. I have not heard _that_ before." He relaxed, slumping in his chair.

"What're you going to do with me?" Nancy asked, trying her best to sit up. She cried out again from the pain. As she curled into herself, seeking some relief from the pain, she glanced around at all of Loki's henchmen. Blue eyes. They all had... blue eyes. "Glowing blue," she gasped, glancing to Loki again, "like your spear. Mind control. Magic."

"Not for you, pet." Loki closed his eyes. "Now shush. I am in need of rest." The next thing he attempted would require concentration, and that meant he needed her to stop talking to him. Hopefully this ruse would work.

Nancy nodded slightly and leaned back again. She wasn't going to tell him she was dying. What good would it do? There was nothing he could do to help her anyway. All she could do was close her eyes and join him in rest. While she sat there, she mused over his usage of the term 'pet'.

"Pet." she mumbled, still wincing from the pain, "Term of endearment. Or obvious statement? Likened unto pet? Or literal pet? Animal. Lower ranking. But... favored." With a blush, she realized she was thinking out loud. "Sorry."

The minutes passed like hours, wandering by in silence. The engines whined softly outside, whisking her away to destinations unknown. The henchmen, flocked around like loyal dogs, remained perfectly still. Eerily still. And the pain in Nancy's side, which was once so excruciating that it felt like the hand of death itself, began to weaken. Ever so slightly, it began to subside.

Nearly five minutes passed without issue, and then her eyes began to feel dry.

"Seriously?" Nancy sat up, wincing again from the pain, " _Now?_ "

She glanced to Loki, wondering if she had woke him, and noticed that his eyes were still closed. Good. The last thing she needed were his taunts about her being so weak and human. Without wasting another moment, Nancy began to fidget, trying to rub her eyes on her shoulder. If she couldn't do anything about the pain in her side, she sure could about the itch in her eyes. She blinked rapidly, trying to lubricate her contacts with her tears. It wasn't working. Nothing helped. She needed her eye drops, but they were in her satchel at her feet, and she was tied as tightly as could be.

Loki sat still, watching her struggle from beneath half-closed eyes. If she didn't stop moving, she would rupture something. It was hard enough to knit her back together while she was still. Now that she was moving, it was near impossible. He held in a groan, lest she hear him and start speaking again.

Nancy rubbed her face on her shoulder again, whimpering softly. She had to make it stop. A pain in her side, an itch in her eyes, and a madman across from her. No, this was too much. She glanced to Loki again. He was still asleep. But the henchmen. They were awake. She looked towards one of them.

"Hey." she whispered as softly as she could, "Hey, you. Hey! Buddy!"

The henchman turned to look at Loki. Loki took stock of the situation, calculated all their weaknesses, and nodded once, slowly. It could not harm anything for her to stop the pain in her eye so that she could sit still while he healed her. Really, was that so much to ask for?

The former agent gingerly released one of Nancy's hands from its restraint. "Oh, thank you, thank you."

Nancy instantly grabbed her bag and rummaged through it. Within moments, she found her bottle of eye drops and tried to unscrew the lid. ...Tried to... unscrew... the lid. Unscrew. Unscrew the lid. Come on, darned thing! It was on too tight for her to unscrew it with her fingers. She put it in her lap and tried to hold it with her legs, hoping to be able to turn the lid with her hand. That didn't work either. Finally, she settled on trying to unscrew the lid with her teeth.

Still too much struggling. Did the woman not know how to hold still? Did she not realize he was trying to help her? No, of course she didn't. Because he didn't want her to know. "Help her," Loki commanded. He had to do something to get her to stop her squirming.

The henchman snatched the bottle from Nancy's grasp, unscrewed the lid, and handed it back to her.

"Thanks." Nancy said, blushing, as she took it back. She hadn't realized her charade had woken the madman. She put a few drops in her eyes, blinked a few times, and looked around. Ah, much better. So much better. Now, if she could only take care of that pain in her side. She handed the bottle of drops back to the henchman. "Back in my bag, thanks." She looked at Loki, thankful that he'd allowed her out of her misery. "Thank you."

With little ado, the former agent returned the bottle to her bag and returned to his post.

Loki raised an eyebrow at her statement. "Mm." There was no time to talk. He had to knit her wound before she started thrashing again. Who knew such spirit could be so taxing? He had other plans for that spirit, but now he almost wished she had been a tamed woman. At least now she had ceased her struggles and sat still enough he could concentrate.

Nancy leaned towards him as much as her side would allow. Really, the pain was more of an ache now. How could it subside so soon? Was... was he healing her? No, that would be impossible... wouldn't it?

"Are you still resting?"

Loki sat still, eyes closed, much too focused on fixing her to respond to anything she said. If she didn't shut up, he'd have to have one of the former agents put a gag in her mouth. He was quite sure that she would be more thankful if he finished healing her than if he allowed her to pick his brain. In the long run, it would be worth it. For both of them. He let out a long sigh and hoped his ministrations would be done soon. At least the blood flow seemed regular again.

Nancy frowned and sat back again. He still wouldn't talk to her. He'd gush his mind to everyone else, but kept absolutely silent with her. With a large, dramatic sigh, Nancy reached for her satchel again. She wasn't really able to do much else than take more notes. Within moments, she produced her notebook and pen, and began to write:

 _Allowed henchman to help me, yet still refuses to speak to me. Not entirely bad, I suppose. Shows some compassion, but not much._

 _James was injured while trying to save me. Unsure of his state._

 _Observing those under Loki's control. They are able to respond to stimuli, but must look to him for commands. Eyes glow like the jewel in Loki's scepter. Going to test the extent of mind control._

Nancy looked at one of the henchmen, smiling brightly. "Since he won't talk to me, will you?"

The man remained unmoving, staring straight ahead.

Fine. Don't move, then. Determined to get some sort of reaction, Nancy reached into her satchel again, producing a sharpened pencil. Let's see if he reacts to pain. She reached across the narrow aisle and poked the guy.

The man looked down at her, clearly disapproving of her preferred method of attention gathering. "Please don't prod me. I'm not an animal."

"Prod. Not a typical word for an agent."

 _Agent under mind-control still uses manners; says "please". Does not like being compared to an animal. Still able to make the comparison. Used the word 'prod'. Not typical of an agent. Displays characteristics of own personality, while unable to think fully for himself._

"Are you able to think cognitively?" she asked the agent, "Do you understand where you are?"

"What do you think I am, a guinea pig?"

"Wonderful metaphor!" Nancy exclaimed, furiously writing more notes.

 _Displays another metaphor. Guinea pig. Not something Loki would be supposed to know about. Also, more characteristics of own personality. My hypothesis: the agents retain themselves while being forced to submit to Loki's power._

"How long have you worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"Ma'am, I'm not sure what you're getting at, but I don't appreciate being treated like an experiment. Excuse me." The man turned away from her.

 _Does not appreciate being treated like an experiment. Still has feelings and the ability to feel! Still has a heart!_

The agent made his way towards the cockpit, effectively shutting out her interrogation.

"You still have a heart!" Nancy called after him, "Remember that!"

Loki did his best to hide his smile. If nothing else, she was amusing. Calling after a mindless vessel that he had a heart, and expecting it to work? Surely, she must be speaking only for her own convenience. Even if they wanted to, the former agents could not hear her. Well, _hear_ her perhaps, but never fully understand what she meant. Their minds only saw farther than anyone else's. They believed this cause to be the ultimate good. And that is why they would remain loyal to the end. Loki shifted with his thoughts, moving to a new position in his seat.

"Sorry." Nancy whispered, looking at him. "I don't mean to keep you awake. I'm just… curious."

"I believe your Midgardian saying is… 'Curiosity killed the cat'."

"But cats have nine lives." Nancy countered with a grin.

"Best use yours wisely."

"The acquisition of knowledge is always the wisest choice," she continued, unafraid, "Even if one loses one's life in the process. As long as the knowledge is passed on."

 _As long as the knowledge is passed on._ An interesting outlook on life. That losing one's life would all be worth it if knowledge progressed to the next generation. And fitting, though she did not yet know it. Loki smirked and closed his eyes again. "You will remember you spoke these words."

"They're the words I live by…" Nancy said with confidence, "And will die by."

"Courageous… or stupid. I've yet to decide."

"Perhaps courage is stupidity. Ninety percent stupidity, ten percent bravery. But, when you figure it out, let me know."

Nancy grinned and went back to her notebook, looking over her notes again.

Of course she thought she had won that argument. Loki let it go and tried his best to rest. Though he had scattered the band of heroes, they would return. He would need all his strength to end them once and for all. He expected his brother would somehow escape the terrible drop in a glass cage, and the Metal Man would no doubt be out for revenge when he figured out where Loki had gone. The madman smiled and leaned farther back in his chair. First the heroes, then the girl. This would be such fun. He found himself smiling.

Nancy looked up and noticed his smile. It was definitely more of a smile than a smirk. It was pleasant, really. Very handsome. She smiled softly herself. She'd made him smile.

Five more minutes passed in silence. Unbearable silence. She needed something to end this torment. This lack of knowing where they were going. She looked at another brainwashed agent.

"Where are we going?" she asked him.

"Tell her and I no longer have need of you." The words practically formed themselves. Here was a woman who thought she should know everything. It served her right for him to keep his own secrets to himself. Which he would, without a single complaint from society.

The former agent glanced to Loki, blinked, and looked back at Nancy. He gave a noncommittal shrug.

"Does he frighten you?" Nancy teased softly, "An agent? An agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Come on. Where are we going?"

Must she push every little thing into the light? Could she not withhold her curiosity and wait to find what was on the other end? Had she not heard the unspoken warning behind his threat to the man with blue eyes? Loki opened his eyes and leaned forward to glower at her. "Do _not_ force me to muzzle you," he threatened harshly. If she had any sense, she would obey.

Nancy blinked and sat back, stunned. He'd just threatened to muzzle her. Knowing what she knew of him, he'd do it, too. She didn't say any more.

Loki sat back, frustrated, waiting for their imminent arrival to Stark Tower. An outrageous beacon of light to the whole of mankind. The place where his revolution would begin. He glanced to the girl, having lost all ability to rest with the insufferable mortal on board. He would have to find a way to contain her. Soon. She could not be allowed to go on like this, refuting everything he said and practically driving him insane. It took a lot to drive a madman insane, and yet somehow she had found the key to his unraveling.

Nancy looked down at her notebook, still trying to gather her thoughts.

 _Threatened to muzzle me when I tried to remind an agent of his rank among S.H.I.E..L.D. Loses control of self when loses control of others._

Within minutes, the quinjet began to descend. Nancy quickly put her things away and threw the strap to her satchel around her. That's when she noticed it. The pain in her side was gone. Completely gone. She looked at Loki. Had he healed her after all?

"You don't need to drag me this time." She said quietly. "I'll walk."

Loki stood and narrowed his eyes. Could he trust her to keep her word? Or was she trying to trick the trickster? She was there, he reminded himself, to study him. He straightened and decided to take a chance, just this once. With precautions. "Gentlemen, do not leave her side."

"Where are you going?" Nancy tugged at her other hand, waiting for one of the guys to release it. "Are you coming back?"

"I suppose you will have to be patient to discover it."


	4. Chapter 4

The plane set down a little roughly on the roof of Stark Tower, but that was soon forgotten. They had made it. Finally.

Loki stepped out to survey his good work. He tossed a nod to Selvig, if only to lull him into a false sense of security. He had yet to finish setting up the portal generator, and Loki needed him to finish it soon. Nothing could be done without it. With a sigh, Loki noted the unfinished product and proceeded inside.

Nancy watched him leave into Stark Tower. Stark Tower, of all places. Well, it was flashy enough for his tastes, she'd give him that. But, wasn't the Tower supposed to be all tech and robot surveillance? Stark could hack _S.H.I.E.L.D._ if he wanted to. But… all that probably still wouldn't be enough to stop a psychotic mythical god with a vengeance.

With a sigh, Nancy looked around her at all the former agents. Men she'd worked with. Talked to. Fought alongside… well, from her cushy swivel chair and grandiose desk. But, still. These were her teammates. Her comrades. Her partners. Those who were supposed to have her back no matter what.

"We're all on the same team, really." She chuckled nervously, glancing from one pair of glowing blue eyes to another. "Remember? Don't… any of you remember?"

There were no positive responses.

"You're agents!" Nancy cried, tugging on the remaining strap that chained her wrist to the plane. If only she could get loose. Maybe she could run for help. Where? Anywhere. Anywhere but here. She was beginning to panic. A jet full of brainwashed traitors. Who could tell what Loki might command them to do next? "S.H.I.E.L.D. agents! Snap out of it!"

Though they all stared at her strangely, one seemed to snap out of it long enough to reach and untie her hand. The others remained close, heeding their orders to not leave her side.

"What did he do to you?" Nancy whispered, stunned, as she rubbed at her wrist.

She was free, but where could she go? In an instant, she'd have a dozen S.H.I.E.L.D. hounds on her, guns drawn, ready for Loki's command to fire. No. She couldn't run. Not as long as he had them in his command. Yet they continued to stare with those glowing blue eyes. Light that seeped out of every vein and muscle. Light that commanded every synapsis and heartbeat. What had that monster done to them?

A similar confused expression made the rounds in the group of former agents. One shrugged. They all seemed very concerned with her question.

"Try to fight it! Don't let him win! Don't let him have control!"

One man chuckled at her outburst. The others stared blankly. They simply couldn't understand what her problem was.

Nancy sighed, realizing her pleas were in vain. "You're sheep. You're all sheep."

She stood and stepped out of the plane, timidly following the path Loki took. As she walked, a herd of brainwashed S.H.I.E.L.D. agents followed along behind her.

Loki stood before the enormous glass wall, his hands folded neatly behind his back, staring out at the city. The people. All would be his, soon. They went about their business as though nothing was wrong. Because they didn't know. And they wouldn't know until it was too late. It would all be his. Today. In a matter of hours. He only wished he hadn't had to resort to such extreme measures to guarantee it.

"I brought the herd." Nancy commented with a soft chuckle. She walked forward until she was standing a few feet behind him. That's when she noticed his hands were behind his back. A posture that was both passive and authoritative. It showed power, yet passivity. As if everything was only a grand experiment. An observation to make. And there he stood with his hands behind his back, observing all the lives he was about to ruin. Nancy glowered at him, regarding him with scorn, and let her eyes land on the window. All of New York stood outside, unexpecting. Unprepared. Her world, the world she loved and cherished, the world she vowed to protect, to serve, was about to face the worst enemy it'd ever had. "All those people…."

"...And only one Agent Nancy McAllister in here with her enemy." Loki paused to watch a group of young people dash down the street as fast as their ridiculous shoes would take them. He shook his head and returned his attention to the woman behind him. "Tell me, why do you think you are here?"

Nancy took a step forward, unafraid of him and his purposes. Let him turn and face her. Let him come. She was ready. "Because I'm the only one brave enough to defy orders to face you." She boldly admitted.

Loki chuckled at her audacity. "An interesting theory, to be sure." A theory that only stated he had brought her because she had disobeyed him. But there was so much more to it than that. He turned to face her, then slowly made his way toward her. One step at a time. Each footfall clicking against the hard floor. "Why would you _like_ to be here?"

Now _that_ was a question. Why would she _like_ to be there? Why would she prefer to be there with Loki, an alien war criminal, prince of Asgard, than anywhere else on earth? Why? Because he was fascinating. And intriguing. And the best challenge she'd ever faced in her life. He thrilled her to her core. _That's_ why she _liked_ to be there.

"Because I'm not scared of you." Nancy finally replied, standing her ground. "I find you interesting. As interesting as you find me."

"Oh? You think you are here because you _interest_ me? How quaint." He was close enough to see every minor detail of her face now. Every muscle that twitched. Holding in a mischievous smile, he reached forward and fingered the strap of her satchel. Pulling, twisting slightly, and running a single digit along the soft leather.

Nancy's breath caught as he toyed with her satchel. She timidly glanced down and watched him pulling at it. She knew he was trying to distract her. And, man, was it working. She glanced to his face again, trying not to think about how close his hand was to the rest of her.

"If you wanted my notebook," she stated, trying to sound as bold as she had before, "you would've already taken it. Same with my body. You enjoy my mind."

Oh, so that's what she thought. That he had no patience. No self-control. That if he wanted something he would have it immediately. Little did she know that was not how he worked. Not always. The good things took planning. He smiled at her amateur attempt to understand him. "You've no idea _how_ I work. But, then, that's why you entered here, is it not?"

"That's mostly true. I do want to know more about you. But, I also know more about you than you realize… Odinson. Or, maybe you don't go by that now."

Nancy smirked up at him, hoping her new tidbit of information would be enough to stun him, if nothing else.

Loki chuckled softly. She meant to surprise him, but it didn't. Not really. "Thor has been talking." And his interest in the satchel strap had run out. Loki looked for something else to do and found her hair. Soft, irresistibly so, and just asking for him to caress it. He reached to it and moved it off her shoulder. Yes, he was right. It was soft. "You know less than you think and only what I allow."

Nancy's eyes fluttered momentarily as he touched her hair. His touch was so soft and light. No. She had to snap out of this. He was only toying with her. She glanced to his hand again, noting how close it was to her face. How close it was to her neck. He could strangle her if he wanted. Snap her neck like a twig. But he hadn't. He wanted to toy with her. She entertained him. She knew that for a fact.

"You allow more than you know." The boldness in her voice was fading with every move of his hand. She tried to keep as much professionalism as she could muster. Perhaps this was why she never went out in the field. She couldn't handle it. "Thor only told us you're his adopted brother. Nothing more."

She wasn't very good at ignoring him, was she? Her glance to his hand was more than noticeable. And the way her eyes shuddered closed at his touch. She hadn't even tried to hide it. It was downright obvious. And it only egged him on. "Distracted?" he asked as he moved his hand down to toy with the clasp to her satchel. Who knew what goodies would spill out if he opened it? Perhaps he would learn something.

"Not a bit." Nancy quickly removed her bag, fed up with his distractions and not wanting her papers to scatter. "You're trying to distract me. But, I know you're dying to know what I've learned about you." She had to change the subject. Had to say something to keep herself from being distracted by him.

"If you say so." Loki let her have her peace for a brief moment as he glanced over his shoulder at the window. Still no sign of the Metal Man, which left nothing to do until the portal was opened. He sighed. "I have time to waste." His gaze turned back to her, and he weighed his options. Perhaps allowing her to study him, just for a bit, was not too much trouble. "You can steer the conversation or I can allow my imagination to roam." Oh, the places he could let it roam after being away from his home for so long.

"I think it's roamed enough." Nancy stepped closer, closing the small distance between them. "You have daddy issues," she whispered in his ear, "And a god-complex."

She had gathered nothing else? S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files could have told her that much. Loki laughed. "Is that all?"

"You have a lust for power that's almost as big as your ego." Nancy placed one hand on his waist, taking note of the tension she was causing. If only she could keep him distracted with her whispers and coos, maybe she could pick one of his daggers from him.

Loki glanced down to the hand she had rested on his waist. Interesting. First, she pushed him away and called him names. And now... she wished to draw him in? Only, why? Surely she must have ulterior motives, for she had no reason to be doing this as she was. She hated him, or so he had gathered. He raised an eyebrow and said not a word. Let her take this where she would. Loki only wanted to see what she thought she would get out of this inexperienced distraction.

Nancy instantly noticed his glance. Drat, he'd seen her. She'd have to be careful, lest she spook him or reveal her plan. She left her hand where it was, still trying to distract him. "You crave attention, great prince, and now plan to make a throne of earth."

"All hypotheses." Loki smirked. She could test him all she wanted with her words, he could see right through them. And she would never know more than he allowed. His attention returned to her attempt at distraction. Reluctantly, he noted it and decided it was best to put his curiosity to rest. He nodded at her hand. "What is the purpose of this tactic?"

Nancy's blood immediately ran cold. He was on to her. But, there it was, the hilt of one of his daggers. There was a whole belt of them, hidden under his armor. She gave a nonchalant shrug and dropped her hand away from him, cautiously slipping the knife up her sleeve as she did so.

"No. You told me so yourself." Now, for the whopper that would _really_ distract him. The biggest secret of all. She'd deduced his whole life's story. "Like how you told me you want earth because Odin denied you Asgard. Seeking revenge on your brother, you decided to steal what he already cherished. Earth."

It wasn't all that difficult to tell his story. That's what she did. She read people. From his word choice and clothing she could tell that Loki was some sort of high ranking nobleman on Asgard. He liked to use passive voice – albeit passive aggressive voice – and large words, which were both common traits of a learned gentleman. The gold on his armor told his rank as a nobleman. Since he craved power with a vengeance, she deduced that he must have worked in the palace, most likely as an advisor to the king. Advisors to kings almost always want that little hop, skip, and jump to the throne. Knowing that he was adopted was the final piece to the puzzle. Thor was the son of Odin, so Norse Mythology says, which made Loki his adopted brother. Which would explain Loki's lust for attention as only natural, since Odin most likely favored his blood son over his adopted. And, naturally, as blood is stronger than family ties, Thor was to inherit the throne. Unable to have the Asgardian throne, Loki decided to come to Earth to claim it instead, making the blow doubly brutal for Thor since Thor had bonded so well with his lovely human friends when he was in New Mexico. Thus, Loki's simple tale was not as easy to hide as he'd like for it to seem.

Nancy smirked at him, waiting for his response.

True, all of it. But beside the point. Loki stepped back and extended his hand. "My dagger, pet." Was she so naïve that she thought he would not notice the missing weight from where it was usually kept? She would not best him, and especially not with his own weapon. She was clever, but he was the cleverest. And he noticed everything. It was high time that she took note of that.

Nancy gave a heavy sigh and let her smirk fall from her lips. She'd been found out, and with little fanfare, too. She shook her sleeve and let the dagger drop into her hand. "Here." She held it out to him.

Loki snatched the weapon from her hand, careful not to slice her in the process. Steal his dagger and use it against him? He thought not. How low could she stoop? Although, it hadn't necessarily been a plan that hadn't been thought through. So he would give her credit. "Clever of you to try."

A soft whine and whir reached Loki's ears, and he tilted his head to listen. There was no mistaking the owner of that machinery, and his distance was close enough to insist he would be there momentarily. "Unfortunately, a guest demands my attention." He nodded his men. "Keep her company."

Nancy nearly forgot they were there. The herd of brainwashed agents moved in tighter around her, ready to escort her from the room. Loki, in the meantime, turned from his new obsession and made his way to the balcony. He and the Metal Man were about to have a very interesting conversation.

Nancy sighed again and stooped for her bag. As she stood up straight again, the herd drew in closer, creating a human cage. She rolled her eyes and slipped her bag on.

"Well, we can't stay here." she announced, "If the Avengers are here, this front room will be a mess."

One of the agents shook his head and motioned to the elevator with a flourish. "After you."

Nancy gave him a look. What was with the flourish? And seriously? The whole herd and a not-that-skinny woman packed into one elevator? No way. "We're not all going to fit in there."

"We know," the same agent as earlier replied with a slight shrug. Half the men continued their path into the elevator, keeping a close watch on her, while the others opened a door and headed up a flight of stairs. They would reach the same level at approximately the same time, with less hassle.

"Well, excuse me." Nancy said, a bit irritated, "I didn't realize the herd remembered how to coordinate." She crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.

The lead agent chuckled loudly, causing Nancy to roll her eyes. "Glad to know your sense of humor is still intact."

The elevator arrived, just one floor up. The agent who seemed to be in charge stepped off, using a long arm to herd her along with the rest of the agents. He wasn't forceful, but he wasn't gentle either.

Nancy scoffed as she was herded along. She wasn't a sheep. There was no need in herding her.

He motioned with a nod toward the wall of windows, similar to those in the lounge the floor below. "He wanted you to be able to see the action."

"How thoughtful of him." Nancy said sarcastically. Of course he'd want his "pet" to see his wondrous display of power.

With a frown, she slowly turned and looked out the window. Outside, the day went on as usual. Birds were singing. People were having lunch. Children were playing in the park. Within hours, none of that would be there. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people would be dead. Women, children, innocents. All murdered in cold blood.

"Don't you care that all of those people are going to die?" she asked the lead agent.

"Humanity craves subjugation." he said with a shrug, "We just don't always realize it."

Nancy's mouth gaped open. How could he say that? So boldly say that? "Do you realize what you're saying?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Nancy frowned deeply. This agent, who was probably a very good and loyal agent at one time, was now so far gone. "I'm sorry for what he's done to you."

The agent didn't respond. In fact, he stared at her rather blankly.

With a sad shake of her head, Nancy looked back at the window again. So many people… and there was nothing she could do. Absolutely nothing. She was sworn to protect them, and yet here she was, locked away like a bird in a cage. A doll placed on a shelf ready to watch the main attraction.

But… she was still an agent. An agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. An agent among brainwashed agents. And this was the perfect opportunity to take a few observatory notes.

Nancy reached into her bag and grabbed her notebook again.

"Is there anyone here that's _okay_ with being a guinea pig?" she asked, looking around at the men.

No one answered.

Frustrated, Nancy leaned her head against the cool glass of the window. "Whatever."


	5. Chapter 5

Nancy sighed softly, her breath creating a momentary mist on the glass. Nothing had happened yet. Iron Man had arrived and was talking with Loki, but nothing had happened yet. No, this was the calm before the storm. The time when clouds and trees stood reverent. When the leaves refused to move, lest they quake with fear. This was the calm before the storm.

Children ran and giggled as they played in Central Park. Mothers held their infants to their breasts, loving them. Adoring them. Elderly couples strolled down the paved pathways, hand in hand. Young lovers kissed beneath the maple trees. Older ones argued on cellphones as they passed, tearing their last few moments to shreds. No, don't argue. You can argue in the morning. Argue when the sun rises and a new day dawns. Love her today. Tell her how much she means to you. Forgive him for his faults. Adore every breath he breathes. For today, you may never see each other again.

Suddenly, a crash sounded below. Glass shattered outwards as Tony Stark was thrown out his own tower window. Nancy screamed, watching him tumble down towards the pavement. No, it couldn't end like this. He was a hero. One of the Avengers! No! Just in time, Stark's suit formed around him and he launched back into the air. Phew. That was a close one.

And then all hell broke loose.

A sudden blue light engulfed the sky and ripped open the heavens, revealing a crystal clear starred sky. But, out of that glorious beauty poured hundreds of new alien threats. It was an invasion. A takeover.

"Don't you care?!" Nancy roared to the nearest agent. In an instant, she turned and flashed a vicious gaze to the mob behind her. "Don't any of you care?! There are women and children down there! Innocents! Those you've _sworn_ to protect! Don't you tell me you've forgotten about S.H.I.E.L.D.! Don't any of you tell me! I don't care what sort of magic he used on your mind, I know you still have a heart and a mind of your own! So don't any of you tell me this is for our own good! Because it isn't! Loki _lied_ to you! That's what he does! Look at this! _Look at this_! Look!"

One of the agents looked a bit perplexed at her outburst, but many of them just stood and stared. None could fathom why she had reacted so violently.

Nancy sank to her knees and covered her face with her hands. Sobs wracked her body as the sounds of chaos penetrated through the thick glass wall. Loud, mechanical roars and the crunching of metal signaled the collapse of a nearby building. Screaming and sirens told of the lives that would be lost. Nancy wailed through her hands, matching the agonized cries of the citizens below. She was an agent. A _S.H.I.E.L.D._ agent. And she was safe behind these walls. While the rest of the world crumbled to ash and rubble, she was safe behind these walls. No. She was an agent. And her job was to help those who couldn't help themselves. To protect the weak. To guard the innocents. She was an agent.

With a shaky breath, Nancy stood to her feet again. She glanced out at the destruction one last time, and watched as Loki rode by. That pompous, arrogant, self-centered tyrant! Parading his narcissism from the back of an alien hovercraft! If only someone would shoot him out of the sky. Oh, wait. What's that? An arrow! Barton's arrow!

Loki must have seen it coming. He snatched it right out of the sky. But, moments later, it exploded in his face. Ha! That wonderful Barton! She could've kissed him! He used an exploding arrow on Loki! Like Icarus himself, down Loki fell, back to the pavement of the tower.

Now was her chance. Now she could escape. There was no way Loki could have survived a fall like that.

Nancy glanced sideways at the guard next to her. He stood with his hands folded behind him, still on guard but at ease. She looked to his gun, scheming a plan of escape. All she had to do was disorient him for a moment and she'd have his gun. Sure, he could fight her to get his gun back, but that would put her at serious risk. And, if Loki had survived the fall, any man who dared harm his "plaything" would be killed on sight. At least, Nancy hoped so. She only had one shot at this, so she had to make it count.

In an instant, Nancy's elbow made contact with the agent's face, successfully disorienting him. As she lowered her arm again, she swiftly removed his gun from its holster, taking the safety off and pointing it at him, all in one swift motion.

Every agent in the room pulled their own gun and aimed them at her, in a wide circle around her. They barely blinked, bending slightly into combative stances. Ready for anything she might try.

"You're going to let me through," she announced with a smirk, glancing around to each gun and face among the herd, "And none of you are going to follow. If one of you shoots, your master will have your head. If all of you shoot… well, he did just fine on his own without you. I don't think he'll have much need for a group of disloyal guards. Now stand down!"

They didn't move an inch. Not one of them. However, none of them lowered their weapons, either. They kept them trained on Nancy, waiting for her next move.

Noting their hesitation, Nancy slowly moved towards the stairs, watching the agents carefully. Her heart pounded in her chest and rose into her throat, quickening her breathing, but still the agents did not move.

As one entity, they turned with her. Mimicking her motions, following her trail. Watching with the same careful precision.

With a slight glance behind her, Nancy began to slowly back down the stairs.

"The first man that follows," she threatened, "Gets a bullet through his skull."

She turned and began to run down the stairs, taking them as quickly and carefully as she possibly could. No one followed. Halfway down the stairs, she stopped, put the safety back on her gun, and tucked it into the belt of her pants. Guns were always handy when battling super-villains.

As Nancy stepped out onto the floor of the front room, she saw The Hulk and Loki staring each other down. Loki not only survived an explosion to the face, but a fall from a great height. What resilience! Perhaps he was a god after all.

But, then again, he wasn't a very wise one, was he? Thinking he could battle against The Hulk. Oh, no. This was going to end poorly.

Fearing for her own safety, Nancy slipped behind a nearby corner, peaking out only enough to see the action.

"I am a god, you dull creature!" Loki shouted at the large green monster in front of him, "And I refuse to be bullied by a-"

In less than a moment, Loki was picked up by his feet and slammed into the ground, over and over again. As Nancy looked on in horror, she could only compare the sight to an animal smacking a fish against a rock. She winced every time Loki's body made impact with the ground. The poor dear was being killed right in front of her, and there was nothing she could do.

"Puny god." The Hulk laughed as he headed for the window, leaving Loki where he lay in the pile of rubble created by his own vicious and repetitive impact into the tile. Without another word, The Hulk jumped from the window.

Nancy swallowed hard as she stared at Loki's still form. He had to be dead after that. No creature, god or no, could have survived that. But, as she continued to stare, she heard him making strange whimpering noises, as if he was struggling to breathe.

"Loki?" she asked, hesitantly stepping out from the corner. He didn't respond, but didn't attack either. He simply laid there, whimpering and motionless. Noting that the danger was over for the time being, Nancy immediately ran to Loki and dropped to his side. She looked him over, trying to evaluate the damage. He must have been in serious pain after that attack.

Loki let out a long whimper, not moving in the trench that had been beaten into the floor using his own body. He slid his eyes closed and tried to focus on healing. If he just rested, perhaps he would heal before Earth's heroes came for him. And come they would, he knew that. If any of them had the same persistence as his adoptive brother, they would be there minutes after the fight ended. And, without him as their leader, he knew the Chitauri would lose. Sooner or later.

Nancy's heart sank. In that moment, he seemed so fragile. So hurt and alone. She instantly regretting wishing for him to be shot from the sky. No matter what he had done, he didn't deserve this. This torment and pain. "Shh." she whispered, gently taking his hand in her own, "You're gonna be fine."

What was wrong with the woman? Could she not see that he was resting already? Could she not cease her chatter for one moment? He would have chastised her, but his pain was too great. So instead, he laid still and tried his best to ignore her. That turned out to be harder than he ever would have thought. Especially with her gripping his hand as she was. What was this? Sentiment? Affection? He didn't know, so he laid still and allowed it.

Nancy glanced up at his hairline and noticed a few pieces of white tile flaking the thick, dark strands. She timidly reached up and brushed them from his hair, still trying to comfort him in the only way she knew how. His hair was damp from his sweat, but was still soft beneath her fingers.

"Just close your eyes and rest." She cooed encouragingly, "You're immortal. You'll heal."

That's when realization hit. What if an Avenger suddenly showed up and saw her like this? What would they say about her? What would S.H.I.E.L.D. do? She nervously glanced out the window, watching for any sign of the heroes. Currently, they were rather busy corralling a mob of rampaging mechanical fish. Good. At least she would be left in piece for the time being.

Yes, he knew all that. He was not some weak babe that she needed to remind him of his own capabilities. And he was already closing his eyes and healing. He had been since she decided to break free from her security detail. Her constant bantering was taking away from the feel of her hand on his hair. He would rather she just be quiet and let him have a moment.

Loki groaned. Now that he had begun to heal, he finally found his voice and spoke the one thing he had wanted to tell her since she started in on this. "Shut up, mortal."

Nancy gave a soft laugh at his powerless threat and continued stroking his hair. He seemed so human when he was like this. So mortal. Yet, he was still so powerful. So refined. But where were his followers now? Who remained when he was bruised and broken? Who bowed to his power and might when he was left alone to die? She stroked his hair once more. She'd stay with him, even if no one else would.

"You shouldn't have angered him." she chuckled softly, smiling down at him, "We all know not to do that." She glanced to the window again, still making sure the heroes were busy. She desperately needed them to remain preoccupied with the chaos outside. "…I shouldn't be here."

"Then leave." Please, let her leave. All he wanted was a moment of silence. Could she not see that? A moment of silence to mourn his failed plan and his imminent demise. Loki coughed and groaned again. Speaking, even those few words, still caused some pain, but it was lessening. That was a good sign. He took a deep breath.

"No. I'm not leaving you." She'd made up her mind. She didn't care what the others thought. What they'd do if they found her. She wasn't leaving him alone to suffer and die. She held his hand a little tighter. "No one deserves to face their pain alone."

Of course she would stay. It was neither safe nor wise. So of course it was the one thing she insisted upon doing. Much as he wanted to yell at her, Loki could only groan again. He tried to move an arm, but flinched and settled it back down. Moving wasn't advisable yet.

"Don't move." Nancy whispered, "Not until you're better." She glanced around at the damaged room, trying to look for a first-aid kit. Maybe she could find something to bind his broken ribs with. Or at least an aspirin to give the poor man. She didn't see anything. "I could try to find you something for the pain." She offered.

"I believe I told you to _shut up_." 'Believe' was not a strong enough word. He knew he had told her to shut up, and he expected it to be done when he said it. Such disobedience!

Nancy blinked at him. How could he be so cruel to her when she was only trying to help? Didn't he realize she was his only friend in the universe? Well, maybe _friend_ was too strong a word. But that's how she felt. They were alone here, in this moment in time together, and all she wanted to do was comfort him and help. She glanced to the window again, trying to hide the hurt behind her eyes.

"I was only trying to be nice." she whispered, barely audible.

"I do not require niceties, I require..." his gaze settled on the bar. Stark had offered him a drink, and the Metal Man hadn't been off course. Liquor. The best pain killer in the universe. Loki grasped his abdomen with a firm arm and turned to his side. If he could crawl his way there, he could perhaps dull his pain.

"You shouldn't move." Nancy protested, laying a hand softly on his arm. She felt his strong muscles move beneath her hand and pulled back. That's when she heard it. Silence. The fighting had stopped. Just… stopped. They must have closed the portal. The Avengers would return at any moment, seeking to punish those responsible for this. If they found her here like this… they'd kill her.

"I need to leave." she continued, glancing back down at Loki, "The war is over. They're gonna come back for you, and I can't be here when they find you." She made sure to make eye contact with him, gaining his full attention. She could still see the pain behind his soft green eyes. "Please don't think I'm a coward. I'm not. But my job means more to me than anything else. It's my whole life. I'm an _agent_."

Nancy timidly moved her hand to caress his cheek. She desperately needed him to understand. She didn't _want_ to leave him, but she _had_ to. She wanted to stay there with him. To protect him when they came for him. To plea for the heroes to show him mercy. But she had to leave. He was her enemy. And no matter how much she cared for him in that moment, he was still her enemy.

"If what I'm about to do offends you, I hope you can forgive me." Nancy leaned over him and softly pressed her lips to his. It was the only way she could show how much she'd learned to care for him. In that moment, he wasn't evil. He wasn't cruel or heartless. He was broken and lonely and in pain. Nancy's heart beat with a new compassion for him as she felt his lips against hers. But then… it was over. The heroes were coming. She slowly pulled away and gazed down into his eyes.

"Goodbye, Loki. I'm so sorry."

In an instant, Nancy was on her feet running for the stairs. She took one look back at Loki.

He had resumed his struggle to try and get up.

Knowing the Avengers would arrive at any moment, Nancy dashed up the stairs and made it safely back into the herd. As she closed the door behind her, a sob escaped her lips.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Loki had managed to worm his way closer to the bar, using his arm and one leg to propel him up the steps. He had also managed to remove the thoughts of her timid kiss from his mind. He didn't need that distraction, though the kiss had been surprising and one of the nicest gestures he had received since coming to Midgard. Usually, the ones who were about to be overtaken did not react so well to the tyrant. Perhaps she was a keeper after all. One day.

But all his hopes and fears were in vain. As he righted himself, turning over to face the windows, he looked up into the faces of all the heroes, including his brother. Joy. This was just what he needed while trying to heal. He groaned and then sighed.

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'll have that drink now."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Short McGee - Here's your "more". And even MORE coming soon. Jigoku - you know we deny that alcohol like a boss! No way is he gonna get alcohol. Nuh-uh. Can you even imagine? ;) Lastly, "Guest" - You'll never see it coming. My co-author (DeviantArt's ReSurrendered-Hero) and I love all of our fans, reviewers, and followers. Stay tuned for more chapters (and stories)! We're not done with this yet.**

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Nancy paced back and forth in front of the large picture window. The heroes were here. They'd arrived just after she made it safely back into the herd. Iron Man, Thor, The Hulk, Captain America, Romanoff, Barton. They were all downstairs. And it was too quiet. The fighting had stopped long ago. Loki was injured. He couldn't fight. So, when were they coming for her?

The door shot off its hinges and repulsor blasts filled the air. One by one, each agent went down with little to no fight.

Nancy screamed as a sudden battle ensued around her. Her comrades dropped like flies, falling at her feet. She quickly tucked herself safely into a corner and covered her ears with her hands. She was still screaming.

Bullets fired, repulsors blasted, and then... everything stopped. Her screams died away as she opened her eyes. Every other agent was on the ground, dead or unconscious. She panted softly, staring at the scene with wide, frightened eyes. She was the only agent left standing.

Iron Man turned in a full circle, and his glowing gaze landed on the girl in the corner. "You must be Nancy."

Nancy's heart stopped as Iron Man's glaring gaze landed on her. She was an open target, defenseless. An agent in a room of brainwashed agents. No, scratch that. The _only_ agent left of the herd of brainwashed agents.

"I'm not one of them!" she shrieked, throwing her hands in the air in surrender, "I'm not a sheep! Don't shoot!"

"Oh, it's fine. You're good." Iron Man waved his hand in front of her face, making his point. "Responsive. No blue eyes."

Nancy nearly swooned when his repulsor got that close. It would only take one thought, one breath of a whisper, and her head would fly off. He was pretty much waving a loaded gun in her face.

"I think I'd like to go home now." she whispered, finally giving way to her shock and exhaustion. Nancy immediately collapsed against Iron Man's thick armor.

Iron Man extended one arm and caught her with ease, barely bending his knees when her full weight collapsed on him. "Best reaction yet." With little effort, he hauled her into his arms and carried her back down the stairs to his used-to-be living room. That would need a redo.

Nancy's sight faded in and out of clarity as unconsciousness began to overwhelm her. When they reached the front room, she turned a bit and glanced at all the heroes. They were standing around Loki, ready to strike if he even considered attacking again. Then… her gaze fell on him. Intricate handcuffs bound his hands. A tight, silver muzzle was clasped over his mouth.

 _No. Don't muzzle him._ she thought, _They have no idea how much that muzzle restricts language. Not only words, but facial expressions, too. And those cuffs. Restricting gestures. They have silenced him in every way imaginable. No… not him. Don't do that to him._

Loki looked away from his brother long enough to see the Iron Man enter with the girl in his arms. At least now he knew his obsession had survived the battle. Not that he had any doubt. He had strictly warned his followers not to touch her. On the other hand, she was in the metal man's arms. Held aloft like some sort of doll.

Loki scowled, but with the muzzle he was fairly certain no one could tell. Stark should not be holding her like that. She was not his. She was and always would be Loki's obsession, one more thing he needed to know more about. And he would not let her go easily, nor without a fight. He had plans for her, and no one – not even his brother or Earth's mightiest heroes – would keep him from putting his plan into action. One day, he would come for her. And she would never see it coming.

"What're you going to do with him?" Nancy asked Tony, trying to hide the tears in her voice.

"Point Break wants to take him home. Let him face justice there." Tony lifted his face mask and shrugged. The gears in his shoulders whirred and then settled. "We'll see what Nicky says."

"The director will do whatever Thor wishes." Nancy said sadly, "Loki is Thor's brother after all, he should face justice at home. When will Thor take him back to Asgard?"

"I dunno." Another shrug from the genius billionaire philanthropist playboy. "So, back to the ship for debriefing. Hold tight." He tightened his grip around Nancy and braced himself.

"Wait, what?" Nancy clung to Iron Man's armor, bracing herself for the ride back. He was nearly as bad as Coulson. Debriefing? Did they have any idea what she just went through? She was kidnapped! And could, quite honestly, use a nap! This was outrageous!

In less than a second, Tony had shot off and was soaring through the sky, back to the hellicarrier.

There was no fighting it now. She was already on her way back. It had all happened so fast. She never even had a chance to say goodbye.

Nancy closed her eyes tightly and tried to ignore the massive gusts of air that pushed past them. All she wanted was to be in the quinjet again, with Loki sitting across from her. To sit there silently, studying him. She'd be quiet now. She wouldn't say a word. She wished she could watch his every move again. His every breath.

He was a super-villain, yes, but he hadn't harmed her. In fact, he'd healed her. He'd saved her life. He was calm, even in the face of disaster. He was strong and elegant. He was fierce and frightening, yet thrilling and kind. She longed with every beat of her heart to be back there again with him. In their one moment in time. That's all she'd ever have of him. One moment. One breath. One kiss. And then they were pulled apart, sent their separate ways.

No, she'd have him back. She'd do whatever it took to see him one last time. Even if it took her whole life, she'd see him again. She wouldn't let them kill him. They didn't know him. They hadn't met the man she met. They didn't know of his kindness.

It took less time than anyone would have reasonably anticipated to reach the hellicarrier. Tony landed effortlessly on the flight deck and cautiously settled Nancy on her feet on the deck.

"Thank you." Nancy mumbled, attempting to straighten her clothes.

She did _not_ want to sit through a debriefing right now. She was absolutely exhausted. With a sigh, she watched Stark blast off again, returning to the heroes. Returning to deal with Loki. Her Loki.

Feeling like she'd been hit by a bus, backed over, and run over again, Nancy went back inside and flopped down in front of the first computer she saw. She didn't care whose computer it was. They could find another one. She folded her arms over the keyboard and buried her face in them. Let the world end. She didn't care. Let the director call for her. She didn't care. Let the counsel fire her. She didn't care. Oh, precious sleep!

"Ugh!" she sighed heavily.

"Agent McAllister!" the director leaned against the balcony above her and raised an eyebrow. He waited for her to look up, after hearing her name, and then beckoned for her to follow him down the hall. "I know Stark told you about the debriefing. Interrogation One. Now."

Yep, she was an agent alright.

"Yes, sir." Nancy groaned.

She grabbed her bag and slouched towards the room, making sure to take as much time getting there as possible. As soon as she got inside the door, she slumped into the nearest chair. Taking her notebook out of her bag took every ounce of her remaining strength.

"Someone should go for coffee." She mumbled.

Fury waited until she had entered to take his seat across from her. He pulled his ever-present tape recorder from a pocket and settled it on the table. "Start at the beginning." He slouched sideways in the chair, waiting.

"Do we _really_ have to do this _today_ , sir? I mean no disrespect, but I just got kidnapped. I deserve a leave."

"Better do it now, while the memories are fresh. Proceed, agent."

Nancy sighed. Fine. If he wanted a report, he'd get one. A clean, honest, brass tacks report. "Fine. I wanted to finish my psychoanalysis of Loki, so I went down to the detention level. The best material comes from the source. I asked him a few questions, but he didn't say much. Then something exploded. I hit my head on one of the rails and was knocked out. When I came to, Loki was out of the cage. I grabbed my things, headed back towards my station, but then we lost altitude. I fell and hit my head again. I think I broke a few ribs, too. I fell down three levels.

"When I woke, Loki was lying next to me. He'd been hit by something. Something big. It made a hole in the detention level wall. I tried to check to see if he was still alive, but he grabbed me. Then a bunch of agents came to detain him, and I managed to slip away. I ran through the ship, got myself ridiculously lost, and somehow ended up right back at the beginning. He caught me and I struggled, but didn't do very well. I had some sort of injury in my side and couldn't fight. He dragged me outside, into the quinjet, and had me tied down. Next thing I know, we're taking off to God-knows-where. He wouldn't even talk to me. I tried. I was, however, able to make a few observations of the brainwashed agents.

"They're able to think cognitively and still have their emotions intact, but are completely controlled by the scepter. They wholeheartedly believed in Loki's cause. Believed the sacrifice of a few people was for the greater good. They were still agents, but… they were gone. They stopped caring about civilians and only cared about him."

Nancy paused, remembering back to the agents in the room. Their blue eyes. Their shadowed guns. They were still agents alright. Just not for S.H.I.E.L.D.

With a sigh she continued,

"We landed at Stark Tower about half an hour later. I tried to interview the agents again, tried to convince them to snap out of it, but they were unresponsive. Finally, I decided to follow Loki into the tower. What more could I do? We bantered for a while, I called him a few choice names, he kept that stupid smirk of his, then Iron Man showed up. Loki had the agents escort me upstairs while he dealt with Stark. The battle happened, I watched from one of Stark's big picture windows, then it was over. Stark burst in, shot all the agents, grabbed me, and here I am." Nancy gestured to herself for emphasis, "End of story."

She crossed her arms, challenging the director to question her story.

"Really?" Fury tilted his head slightly, staring her down with his one good eye. He believed all she said, he just knew when someone was leaving out details. And this woman was leaving out details. "That's everything?"

"Everything." Nancy replied with confidence. She had told the truth. That was a good summary of what happened. She'd just neglected to mention a few choice details. Like Loki healing her. Her standoff with the guards. And, most importantly, the kiss.

He still didn't believe her, but he didn't think he'd get anything else out of her, either. So Fury grabbed the recorder and turned it off. "I'll get this typed up for you to sign. But, if you happen to remember anything, I'll be around." He gave her a look that warned her to be careful. He was on to her lies and if she slipped up he'd be right there to point out her mistake. To get the truth out of her.

"There's nothing more for me to remember." Nancy reassured him, "May I return to my quarters now, sir?" She was exhausted. Getting kidnapped by a raving lunatic was exhausting work.

He wouldn't be getting anything out of her by pushing her farther than she was willing to go. Fury nodded at her and motioned towards the door with one hand.

Finally. It was over. Nancy stood and strode out the door, holding her head high, if only for the time being. She was sure of her story. It had been the truth, after all. Well, most of it.

With a weary sigh, she pushed open the door to the agents' quarters. A long hall stretched on in front of her, each door leading to a separate eight-by-ten cabin. So many of these rooms would be empty now. So many families with lost loved ones. Not wanting to think on it any longer, Nancy threw open her own door and flopped down onto her bed. She'd been lucky. She'd survived. If she'd been at her station when the chaos happened, she might have perished in the destruction. At least, that's what she told herself.

She rolled over onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow. Her soft pillow with its less-than-fluffy embrace. Its rough pillowcase that smelled like a hospital. She hated it, but she loved it today.

As she laid there, images of the day played out in her mind. Images of Loki brushing her hair from her shoulder. Of him fingering the strap of her satchel. Of her gently placing her hand on his waist. What if they'd had more time? What if she'd dropped her façade and was real with him? Would he do the same for her? She doubted it. This was shock. These was the early signs of Stockholm Syndrome. No, she needed treatment. A soft laugh escaped her lips and warmed the pillow under her. The physiologist needed a shrink.

Then, a sudden memory flashed into her mind. Her notebook. Her darling notebook. Oh, how she loved that notebook. She still had her notes. She'd always have her notes. No, not always. Fury would take them when he had a chance. But, she could copy them, word-for-word, into her other notepad. The smaller one she kept in the lock-box under her bed. Yes, she'd keep them. In her journal.

Nancy sat up and pulled the lock-box out from under her cot. She entered a long and complicated code into the keypad and opened the lid. There it was. Spiral bound with pink roses donning the front. It was girlish, she knew. But she loved it. This was her secret notepad, where she kept all her secret S.H.I.E.L.D. notes. As quickly and carefully as she could, she copied over all the notes from her yellow legal pad, being extra careful with everything she'd learned about Loki. Every little detail. It had to be exact. Not one thing could differ. Not one memory. Not one moment. It only took about five minutes for her to copy everything over. There. It was done. She'd have them forever. She quickly dropped her journal back into the box, locked it again, and slipped it back under her bed.

With a heavy sigh, she slumped backwards into her sterile pillows. As tired as she was, her adventure had been worth it. She'd stolen a kiss from the world's greatest super-villain.


	7. Chapter 7

Fifteen minutes later, a knock on her door jolted Nancy awake. She'd just barely fallen asleep, too.

A soft (ish) voice filtered through the door. "Agent."

With a groan, she pushed herself up from her bed and dragged herself over to the door. She opened it just enough to see the director. "Yes, sir?

"Have you been to the medical ward yet?" Fury raised an eyebrow at her and folded his hands in front of him. He'd have answers, or she'd never be rid of him. And, of course, he had already checked to see if she had found her way in for the check-up she was required to undergo.

"They're just broken ribs, sir. I'm sure the doctors have other, more severe patients to attend to."

"Your report says you were hurt." Fury lightly shook his head. She was really out of it, wasn't she? Had she read the rulebook? "Do you _remember_ protocol?"

Nancy sighed. Protocol. At a time like this. "Right now, sir, I'm lucky I remember my own name."

Fury gave a small smile. Sarcasm. At least that meant he didn't scare her, like most people. He'd make a note to keep her around for a while. "Med ward, agent. Be there in ten."

Nancy nodded slightly and pushed out past him, closing her door behind her. Honestly, these people had no respect for sensitive traumatized psyches.

"Hours?" she mumbled to herself as she made her way down the long stretch of agents' quarters, "It'd be great if those were hours. Or days. I could go for days. Ten days. Yep."

"Still here, agent." Fury spoke from behind her, "Still have two good ears."

Nancy winced. Of course he heard all that. "I know, sir." She slouched down the hall as quickly as her legs dared to carry her. The sooner she got checked out, the sooner she could go back to sleep.

As Nancy made her way out into the main corridor, Agent Maria Hill strode past. She stopped momentarily and stared after Nancy, watching her stagger down the halls. So, she had survived. Lucky girl, surviving a kidnapping by Loki. She looked terrible, though. Like she'd been through hell.

"Agent Hill. A moment?"

Hill turned and started after Fury as he walked in the opposite direction. Her long strides easily brought her to his side.

"She looks awful." she commented, "Did Loki harm her?"

"Says she was hurt when the carrier started to crash." The director shoved his hands in his pockets. Far be it from him to speculate about her physical health. He'd leave that to the professionals. Just suffice it to say he had his doubts.

"We all were, sir." Hill admitted. She subconsciously reached to finger the healing cut above her right eye, but caught herself and refrained, "You wanted something?"

"She's going to med bay. I need a sympathetic ear and a report on her injuries. She doesn't seem to trust me."

A creepy guy in a black trench with an eye patch. Of course she didn't.

"Really, sir?" Hill asked with her usual serious aloofness, "I can't imagine why." Pleased with her subtle jab, she nodded once and turned to leave.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Fury stopped in his tracks. He hated to do it, but it might have to be done. For everyone's safety, including Agent McAllister's. "And, Hill…"

Agent Hill stopped mid-stride and turned slightly, glancing at Fury out of the corner of her eyes. "Yes, sir?"

"If she's in too deep, I'm authorizing you to pull her off the Asgardian nut's case."

Hill nodded once more and turned away, immediately heading for the medical ward. So, McAllister was hiding something. Strange. She'd never seemed the type. But lately, Hill was finding out that not everything was as it seemed.

As she made her way down to the medical ward, Hill thought on all the destruction. The explosions. The brainwashed agents. All the people of New York. So many agents would be down there in med bay, dying or already dead.

With a sigh, she stepped through the glass double doors, the white S.H.I.E.L.D. eagle spreading its wings to allow her entrance. Covered cots lined the walls, white sheets covering the bodies of the dead. As she passed one, she stopped momentarily. Out of respect, she told herself. Only out of respect. She turned her face slightly away, unable to stand the sight of blood pooling on the thin sheet. Then she remembered, she'd picked up the cards the director had dropped. She told herself she'd put them back in the locker. They deserved to be where they belonged.

With a steady hand – it was only steady because she willed it to be – she carefully plucked one of the cards out of her pocket. He would've wanted it. Just one to keep with him. Hill gently placed the card above the pool of blood, the faded image of Captain America smiling up at her from the card. She swallowed hard and continued on.

Beyond those cots, living agents moaned in pain as doctors darted back and forth between them. She didn't count how many agents lined the walls. She didn't want to. Some other official would give Fury his required body count. No, she'd do it. Eventually, she'd do it. But right now, thankfully, she had other work to tend to.

Finally reaching the end of the hall, Agent Hill pushed open another set of glass double-doors. These led to the minor-emergency clinic. Agents with broken wrists and sprained ankles lined the small waiting room. She glanced around, finally spotting Agent McAllister.

"McAllister." she said, walking over to her.

"Oh. Agent Hill. Hello." Nancy's blood ran cold. The director had sent Hill. She could fake all she wanted to Fury. Hill would see right through it. She carefully leaned back in her chair, "I'm guessing the director sent you?"

"He did. You mind explaining why?"

"You didn't hear? Loki kidnapped me."

"I know _that_ , agent. Mind telling me _why_ I'm here?"

Nancy shrugged, causing Hill to raise an eyebrow. How could she shrug with something broken? "Doesn't that hurt?"

"No. Why would it?"

"You're here for _something_."

"My… my ribs. I broke them."

Agent Hill narrowed her eyes at Nancy. There it was. The lie. "Then how can you shrug?"

Nancy sighed, knowing she couldn't hide her secret forever. "Loki healed me."

"He _healed_ you?" Now that was impossible. He was a mass murderer. How, no _why_ , would he heal a woman he'd barely met?

Nancy winced slightly at Hill's disbelieving tone. "Yeah. I ruptured something. I still have the bruises to prove it." Nancy carefully untucked her shirt and lifted it slightly. Her whole right side was purple and swollen. It still hurt, and she'd definitely ruptured something, but at least she was alive. Hill placed her hand over Nancy's, signaling for her to put her shirt down.

"Why would he do that?"

Nancy shrugged again. "I guess he wasn't done playing. He called me his 'plaything'."

How awful. "Hm. Anything else?"

"He… I saw him when he was injured. The Hulk tossed him around. I tried to offer medical assistance. He didn't want it."

Hill nodded slowly. Of course he didn't. "And?"

"And when we were on the quinjet he let me have my eye-drops. My eyes were itching from my contacts and he let the agents untie one of my hands so I could use them."

Now _that_ was news. "That doesn't sound like him."

"I know. But, because of this new information, I was able to finish my psychoanalysis."

Hill glanced around at the other patients. There was no need for McAllister to be here if she was uninjured.

"And your ribs? The director said you were injured when we fell."

"I was. It was the rupture. I'm fine now. Really."

Hill glanced around again, debating breaking protocol. These other agents needed real medical attention. The doctors couldn't waste any time on already healed patients. After this mess was dealt with, she'd send McAllister back down here for a full medical evaluation. But, for now, it was unnecessary.

"Come on. We'll walk and talk."

Nancy stood and joined Agent Hill in her walk down the hall.

"You know the director will want your _complete_ statement in writing. And all your reports." As well as her own report of McAllister's 'miraculous' healing.

"Yes." Nancy sighed, "I know."

"Why did you hide this from him?" She could tell McAllister was hiding. It was written on her plain as day.

Nancy shrugged again. "I thought he'd be mad. Mad that I let Loki take me. That I didn't fight back. That I tried to help him. Am I going to get demoted for this?"

Hill scanned the bodies along the wall, searching for an answer.

"I'm not sure." she finally decided, "That's up to the director." McAllister was, however, getting removed from the Asgardian case. That much was certain. She'd been a kidnap victim. She was, by definition, too emotionally involved.

Nancy nodded slowly. Of course the decision was up to the director. Every decision was up to the director. That's why he was the director. Because he was in charge of everything.

As they continued on, Nancy spotted a small card lying on top of one of the bodies. Strange, that someone would place a lone card on top of the deceased. She stepped over to the cot and looked down at it. A vintage Captain America trading card.

"Hey, isn't this Coulson's?"

"That _is_ Coulson."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Apologies for the delay between chapters! We really do love y'all and wanted to get this up sooner, but also wanted these next few chapters to be perfect for you guys. We hope you enjoy and please leave us a review to let us know how we're doing! (This is a bit of a filler chapter, but you should recognize some characters, and Loki will reappear in the coming chapters)**

* * *

Nancy let out a sigh, her focus entirely on the ceiling above her. She hated being here. Hated being studied, especially by her peers. What did Andrew _really_ think about her, underneath his cool, logical, doctor demeanor? Who was he to judge her? Simply because he was a psychologist? She had her masters in psychology, too. She'd chosen to get her Doctorate in Linguistics instead of psychology. Because she loved words. She _adored_ words. So who was he to judge her?

"Nancy, did you hear me?"

"Hm?" her attention snapped back to the dark man in front of her, "I'm sorry, I didn't."

"I asked what you were thinking. You've been staring at the same spot for..." Dr. Garner checked his watch, "Three minutes and... twenty-eight seconds."

Nancy shrugged and sat up.

"I'm just waiting for time to pass. You know I hate being here. There's nothing wrong with me."

"So you keep insisting." He shifted in his chair to get a better look at her. "How are the nightmares?"

"I wouldn't call them nightmares. Not all of them. Some of them are dreams."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Nancy growled and crossed her arms.

"They're doing fine. _I'm_ fine! You're all being absolutely ridiculous!"

"Because we care about you? Because we want you to be at your best for work?"

Nancy rolled her eyes. She was _so_ ready to be out of there.

"Have you made the chart like I suggested?" Andrew continued, "I'd like to see it."

"I haven't made it." Her tone was flat. Aggravated. Monotone. She wanted him to know how much she loathed these sessions.

Dr. Garner shook his head, grabbed a clean notebook off a nearby table, and handed it to her. "Then make it."

Nancy sighed again and looked down at the clean page. She knew the writing exercise. A visual representation of a mutually acknowledged fact. Well, a fact everyone else mutually acknowledged and were insistent in convincing her of. Hesitantly, she picked up the pen next to her and began to write:

 _Loki: "Doer of Good and Doer of Evil"_

 _Good: Didn't kill me, healed me_

 _Bad: Killed hundreds of people, brought down the Chitauri, brainwashed good agents, caused those same agents to be killed, destroyed Stark Tower, ripped out a guy's eye, tried to enslave the human race_

"And?"

Nancy tossed the notepad onto the table between them, causing it to nearly slide to the floor.

"And the bad outweighs the good. I get it, okay?"

"But _do_ you?"

"Yes!" Nancy placed her head in her hands. She hated talking about this with others. They didn't understand. They'd never understand.

"I think that's enough for today." Dr. Garner stood and led her to the door. "I'll get back to the director with my recommendation."

"There's nothing to recommend. I'm _fine_!"

"So you keep saying."

With a huff, Nancy stalked out of the room and down the hall. He'd never understand. The things she felt. The things she wanted, desired. All Andrew wanted was to analyze her. To study her like she was some kind of rat. To give his opinion on her state of mental health. She was fine. She had to be fine. Her whole career depended on it.

She walked down the bright corridors alone. Bright, white light glared down at her. White, pristine, official light. All she would ever be was a tech. She knew they'd never send her out into the field again. She'd never have another chance to prove herself, to prove her worth. The hallways grew darker. The halls, smaller. This was where they put all the washed out agents. Those corrupted by the stresses of the field. Those whose minds were as warped and twisted as the people they fought. Those who'd been to battle and watched good men die. Those who "couldn't handle" the stresses of the field. Those who were agents only in name.

She passed by one, an Asian agent. She was rustling through papers with the calm precision acquired by those who worked in this dungeon. Her eyes scanned the papers before her. She was a machine. A machine like all the rest. Nancy pitied her for a moment and moved on, wondering if the poor woman would ever find her way into the field again.

And then, here it was. Her cubicle. Her dusty old monitor sat in the corner, post-it notes scattered along the faux walls. Here was her own personal corner of S.H.I.E.L.D. A cog in the great machine of the agency. Except, in real machines, cogs stop the process when they malfunction. If she wavered, she'd be replaced.

With another sigh, Nancy slumped down into her chair. They didn't need her. She knew that without a doubt. Seven years ago, she sat here, trying to work her way up through the ranks of S.H.I.E.L.D. Level 2 and 3 agents were given desk jobs. Sorting through emails and communications, looking for patterns and potential threats. They told her it was only temporary. Until she got her mind all straightened out. But she knew the truth. She'd never find the field again.

Reluctantly, she woke her monitor. She wanted to go home. She should take a trip up to see her mother, she thought, or maybe her sister. Her sister just had a baby. Maybe she needed help. Maybe she'd make a better aunt than an ag–

Hello, what was this?

Nancy leaned closer to her screen. It was an email from Tony Stark to the Director. These emails were supposed to be encrypted. Only the Director had access. How had it managed to slip into her program? One of the agents higher up must have made a mistake. Must have filtered it through the wrong server. Oh, but she couldn't resist. The encryption was already gone. The Director had already read and deleted it... or so he thought. It wouldn't hurt to take a peak, right?

 _Nicky –_

 _I used to like you, did you know that? Yeah. I really did. But this is the stupidest idea you've ever had. And I do mean ever. In the history of the universe. You're insane, plain and simple. As if the Nuke didn't prove that._

 _Do you think just because you have a cool eyepatch and a rockin' trenchcoat that you can command me? I think not, Nicky! What is this craziness you're subjecting me to? I can hardly sleep at night, especially knowing he's down there in his cell just waiting to break out and kill us at the dead of night. Why couldn't SHIELD just hold onto him? Huh? Huh? Why me?_

 _Do you know what Reindeer Games (oh, sorry, Loki to you) did to me the other day? He got out! I had to tie the man down, Director. Can you imagine what would have happened if he got to one of the repulsors? I would be disintegrated, that's what!_

 _Don't you roll your eyes at me, old man! I want a full assessment on why he's at my place and not yours. And I want it ASAP._

 _Affectionately Yours – Tony Stark_

What?! He was still on earth? In Stark Tower no less! That was so close! Only a few states away. A weekend trip. She could go on a weekend trip. Yes, it'd be perfect. But, how to get in the door? She could say she wanted to thank Stark for saving her... but that would only give her a few moments. And he'd get suspicious. How to convince him to let her see Loki? Well, if she went as an agent, he'd have to let her in. Yes, that was was on a mission from the Council themselves. A linguist to study the mind of a criminal. She'd note his movements, his gestures, his slightest twitch. She'd get in his head and play a while. All in the name of science. She'd do an ethnograph. That's all. Just an ethnograph. To determine if he was still a threat. At least, that's what she'd tell them.

With one stroke of a key, the email was gone. She'd made sure of that. Erased from every system in S.H.I.E.L.D., as it was supposed to have been in the first place. They'd never know. And they'd never see her coming.


	9. Chapter 9

Finally, the blessed weekend came.

Nancy pulled her car into the parking garage near Stark Tower. She could walk from here. She wanted to. Needed to. Needed to see the destruction for herself. The pain and anguish Loki had caused. She had to convince herself that she was ill. She had to be, for feeling the things she felt. At least, that's what Dr. Garner had convinced her of. That she was suffering. Suffering from Stockholm's. She knew she was. Knew it was a mental response to a traumatic event. She had to turn it good to get rid of the bad. Had to love her captor, lest she lose herself in the hatred. She told herself all this as she walked. Tried to convince herself to turn around. But really, she didn't believe it. Perhaps _they_ were the ones who were ill. _They_ were the ones who didn't understand. _They_ weren't there, so how could they know? How could they feel the things she felt? They had never experienced it.

Six months later and the roads were still lined with bears and balloons. Flowers and photographs. Shop windows held monuments to their lost employees. Those that were still standing, that is. She noted each one as she passed. Lost loved ones and people who mattered. Children and lovers and parents and friends. All had perished in the wake of Loki's pride. But he had spared her. Had let her live. For a purpose. There had to be a purpose.

With as calm a demeanor as she could muster, Nancy pulled her S.H.I.E.L.D. ID from her pocket and pounded a fist on the glass front doors, flashing her ID to the guard inside.

"I need to speak with Mr. Stark."

She had to see Loki. Had to. Even if she had to tunnel her way in there, she would. She had to know he was alright. Had to let him know she was there for him. If she was the only person in the universe who was on his side, she'd be that for him. And she wanted him to know.

The guard looked over at her and furrowed his brow. Not many people came to see Stark with such confidence. He grabbed his radio and pressed the talk button. "Yeah. There's a woman here to speak with Mr. Stark." A long pause, as someone on the other end answered. "Yes, ma'am." The guard nodded and tossed his attention to the woman at the door. "Name?"

"Agent Nancy McAllister." Nancy shifted her weight impatiently, hoping this would work. If she played it right and acted like a true cop, maybe they would let her in.

"She says it's... Nancy McAllister." He listened for a long time, nodding occasionally, before he finally reached for a button and buzzed her in. He stood to nod once and offer instructions. "Miss Potts says to come on up." He motioned to the elevator.

Nancy nodded once in reply. Miss Pepper Potts. She was nice enough, or so Nancy had heard. Patient and tolerant of Stark and his moods. Nancy couldn't understand how someone could put up with Stark and his flamboyance. All that work, just to satisfy a spoiled child.

She quickly strode over to the elevator and rode it up to the top. It'd been too long since she'd been here last. Too long since she'd sat by Loki's side, holding his hand. He was still on earth, and she needed to see him. Just to know he was alright. With a quick breath to recomposed herself, Nancy stepped out of the elevator, a bundle of fake case files stuffed under one arm.

"Good morning, Miss Potts," Nancy began with a smile, "Is Mr. Stark available?"

Pepper stepped forward with a cordial smile and extended her hand in Nancy's direction. "It's Pepper. Please. Tony will be here in a minute or two. He was... busy... with science." She shook her head and shrugged. "But he was very clear that he definitely wanted to see you if you were here. You made an impression."

Nancy smiled and shook Pepper's hand.

"Really? I was hardly myself the last time I saw him. I was scared out of my wits, to tell you the truth. Actually, that's why I'm here. S.H.I.E.L.D. knows the war criminal, Loki, is being detained here until Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner finish the device for the Tesseract. They've sent me to gather more information about Loki, while he's still here, in case a disaster like this happens again. Hopefully, we'll be able to stop it in the future."

Hopefully her elaborate explanation was enough to silence any suspicion.

Pepper nodded slowly, patiently listening to her explanation. When Nancy had finished, she motioned her toward the couch. "Well, you'll have to ask Tony," she explained. "It is his holding cell, after all. Can I get you a drink?"

Nancy perched gracefully on the edge of the couch, trying to show familiarity, while still maintaining her sense of authority and aloofness."Oh, no. I'm fine, thank you." She glanced around, impatiently waiting for Stark, and noticed the plastic coverings and half-nailed two-by-fours hanging from the walls. "I see the repairs are coming along."

"Yes." Pepper settled herself in a chair facing Nancy. As though she had done this same thing a hundred times before. Of course, this was the woman who had been in charge of politely escorting one-night-stands from Tony's old residence. She kept her smile. "Tony is really excited about the new lab."

"And the sound system." Tony entered through a door near the elevator, wearing an AC/DC t-shirt and a smile. "Don't forget about that. Agent McAllister! I must say, I loved your reaction to me. I have _never_ had a woman swoon into my arms." He paused, as though to think, and his smile widened. " _Well_... not for that reason, anyway."

Nancy stood and smiled at him. "Well, I've never had a man point a repulsor at my face, so now we're even." She gave a small laugh, then turned serious. "I am sorry to bother you, Mr. Stark, but S.H.I.E.L.D. sent me to gather more intel on Loki. They want me to observe him. Something about 'his weaknesses now will tell his weaknesses later, should it come to that." She shrugged for emphasis. "You know how the big-wigs are. But it is better to be safe than sorry."

"Whoa, slow down." Tony held up a hand as though to stop her. "First of all, _so_ many words. All you needed to do is ask nicely." He shrugged and tucked his hands back into his pockets. "Second, do you need to run this by his big brother?"

Nancy shrugged again. "It is _your_ holding cell. But if you think it would be best, I can. Do you know where I can find him?"

"He might be down there. Don't think he trusts my walls much." Tony pulled Pepper, who had come to stand beside him, close and kissed her quickly. "Gotta run." He turned back for the door, but turned to walk backward long enough to throw instructions to Nancy. "Sublevel six, McAllister!"

Nancy gave a polite smile and waved her hand. "Have a good day, Mr. Stark!" She turned for the elevator, secretly congratulating herself on a job well done. "And it was wonderful meeting you, Pepper." She had to keep up her act. Had to keep them believing she was sincere. Without another thought, Nancy stepped into the elevator and made her way down to sub-level six. Once there, she stepped out and looked around for Thor. Just one more person to convince. Hopefully, he'd be easier than the others.

Thor stood guard over his brother, hovering near the door that kept him in. He looked more concerned than upset. More caring than angry. He heaved a sigh and didn't note Nancy's entrance.

Nancy carefully walked over to him, cautious of his large, foreboding figure. The closer she was, the more she noticed his expression. He was sad, concerned, mourning. She could tell he really did love his brother. Her heart sank at the thought of what he must be feeling. What he must be going through. As she approached, she spoke quietly,

"Hi. I'm agent McAllister. S.H.I.E.L.D. sent me." she paused and looked up at him. He seemed on the verge of tears. "Are you alright?"

Thor nodded once, then finally tore his eyes from his brother to look down at her. Being Thor, he stood much taller than Nancy ever thought about being. "He was not always this way," Thor confessed. "Could I save him from this fate, I would."

Nancy frowned and turned to stare at the door, the five-inch-thick slab of metal keeping her from the man she was quickly becoming obsessed with. "What's going to happen to him?"

"He will return to Asgard to face justice." Thor sighed and narrowed his gaze at her. "Why are you here, Agent McAllister from S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D. wants me to study him." Her heart sank again at the thought of lying to such a kind, compassionate man. She longed to tell him the truth. That she really only wanted to visit Loki. To be there for him. With him. But if she told, they'd never let her stay. "They just want me to watch him for a while. In case this sort of thing happens again, they'll be prepared. Or might even be able to prevent it altogether. Just in case he escapes."

"He will not." Thor stopped abruptly, closed his eyes, and gave another nod. "But, I understand. I will be one floor above."

Nancy nodded, then paused again. She had to tell him. She couldn't let his hope die. Her words came out in almost a whisper. "If it's any consolation, I believe you. That he wasn't always this way. He kidnapped me during his escape from the hellicarrier. But he was kind to me."

"He used to be very kind, despite his tricks." Thor tossed one last look at his shackled brother and retreated to the elevator, his broad shoulders slumped.

Nancy watched him go, the feeling of guilt never leaving her stomach. With a sigh, she straightened her shoulders and turned toward the one-way mirror, slipping her falsified files into her satchel. Within moments, Nancy's yellow legal pad had returned to her hands, and she was scribbling down notes again. Oh, how this reminded her of the day they'd met. And how she longed to be there again. She glanced at Loki and looked him over. He sat chained to the wall behind him, his chains only giving him so much false-freedom. She frowned deeply at the sight, her heart breaking for him.

Loki's thoughts raced with the hurried details of the past weeks. Everything played out again in his mind. The tortures. The journey. The battle. Had it all been worth it for revenge on his beloved brother and a throne of his own? He wished he could say no. As it was, he would bring the Chitauri down again if he could. To overthrow the Midgardians. To win him the throne he would settle for, because he would never have the one he deserved.

Suddenly, all thoughts of revenge and entitlement ceased. Loki had felt this before. This knowledge that someone else was there. This unease, because they watched another without consent. He blinked rapidly and focused on the feeling that someone was watching him. His brow furrowed in deep concentration, but he didn't look up. No, no. He couldn't have whoever it was knowing he knew. Not yet. First, he would listen. And he would gain knowledge of their mission here.

 _Remains with head bowed. Awake, his eyes are open. He looks like he's thinking. I wonder what he's thinking. I wonder if he ever thinks of me. Furrowed brow. He's thinking intently about something._

Nancy sighed softly and glanced to him again. She hated how they were treating him. Like he was an animal. They wouldn't even let his own brother see him. How horrible. He was so alone. Well, if no one else would stay with him, she would. She always would. She laid a sort of claim on him, she figured. From the moment they'd met, he was hers. She stayed with him when he was injured. She stood by his side before the battle, staring out the window with him. She was the one who held his gaze. They had a connection. She couldn't explain it, but they did.

The scribbling. The same harried scribbling he had come to loathe. The same scribbling he had heard in the cage. In the quinjet. And now here. Nancy McAllister. His obsession. And she had come to him. How quaint. She really had no idea, did she? How this simple action only sealed her fate in his mind.

What was she doing there? Surely she was not there out of concern. She had sworn she loathed him. And then she had kissed him. It hadn't been a terrible kiss, but he had definitely had better ones. So, why was she here? She must know that lowering herself to study him here, after he had been captured, would gain the attention of her director. She must know that this would bring heaps of shame and trouble down upon her. So why did she stay? And why did she keep taking notes?

Well, while she was there, he might as well get some amusement out of it. Just another test to see how she would react. How she truly felt about him. Oh, he just couldn't resist. Loki raised his eyes to the mirror, where they were sure to meet hers.

Nancy watched as he raised his face toward the mirror. She knew it was one of those one-way mirrors, but she couldn't help gazing into his eyes. What would he do if he knew she was there? What would he say? She could only imagine that maybe he was looking back at her, but knew beyond a doubt that he wasn't.

As she stood there, she noticed how hurt he looked. How broken. Angry and vengeful toward a world that despised him. But she didn't despise him. Far from it. With a short moment of hesitation, Nancy placed her hand on the glass, longing to be close to him.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, barely audible.

Sorry? Ooh. He hadn't seen that coming. Loki raised an eyebrow in reaction to the words. What could she possibly have to be sorry about? It was not her fault the world's heroes found him and bested him. No, that was his. Was she sorry about the kiss? Or was this a whole new technique? Was she trying to get under his skin? Play the sympathy card and then stab him in the back? He had seen that before. Had been on the receiving end of the knife wound. What _were_ her intentions?

Nancy immediately noticed his eyebrow raise. He'd done it in response to her apology. It was almost instantaneous. A reaction. He had reacted to her words. She took a step back, cautious of the mirror. She checked the corners, making sure it was, indeed, a one-way mirror. Then she looked back at him, her curiosity causing her mind to race. Perhaps he had heard her after all.

The shuffling had to be a step back. Good. At least he knew he still had the capacity to frighten her. It would be a shame if he lost that. The look on her face when she was afraid was... intriguing. Loki chuckled to himself and lowered his gaze again. Surely she had more to offer than a few stunned reactions. Let her consider how much he could truly see or hear.

Okay, _that_ was definitely a reaction. He was reacting. Nancy reached up to run her fingers along the edges of the mirror, all color draining from her face. "This is a one-way mirror, right?" she whispered to herself, "Right?!" How much of an idiot did she look if this was just a regular window? Oh, this _had_ to be a one-way. It had to be.

So, she had noticed. This was the most fun he'd had since they locked him up in here. Loki didn't look up or make a move. Let her doubt if he could see her. He might as well be able to. She might as well be standing right in front of him with the noise she made. Still, mischief was a tricky game, so he ignored her. Just to plant doubt.

Nancy blinked and tried to pull herself together. Of course it was a one-way. Stark wouldn't have installed anything less. She glanced down to her notebook again, remembering her mission. She had to study him. Study and record. So she could keep the memory of him forever.

 _Reacts to my actions. Might be able to see and hear me. A little unnerving, but tolerable. Perhaps he can see/hear me because he's an alien? Enhanced eyesight and hearing? Or maybe I'm just losing it. Too early to tell._

More scribbling. Did the woman ever stop? Loki lifted his gaze to the mirror as though, perhaps, he would be able to see through it and watch her. As all the other times, he couldn't. Still, he wished he could.

What if he took notes on her? Not that he hadn't been, his just weren't on paper. But, if he could write something down about her, if he could see the notes he had taken, what would they say? What would he observe and record?

He would note her appearance, first of all. Her glorious soft locks, the ones that felt like silk sliding across his fingers. Her beautiful eyes, the color of a shimmering jewel. Her form, her carriage, her dress. That, of course, could use some improvement. Far too much black for his taste. And not enough... color.

Next, Loki realized, he would note her habits and reactions. The things she liked and detested. And he didn't know enough about those. He sighed. He would have to learn soon. He couldn't very well have an obsession without knowing every detail about it. He would start with her taste in furnishings, he thought. That would suit, when the time came.

Nancy looked at him again, content to simply watch him. Content to simply be near him. If only she could be in there with him. What would she say?

"I know there's more to you, Loki." she whispered, hoping that maybe he could hear her, "So much more than this. If only you'd let me see it."

Loki smirked to himself. So much more to him. She had no idea, not yet. His plan evolved and grew to perfection in his mind, and suddenly Loki knew exactly what he must do next. Exactly how he would get everything he wanted and more. He stood to his feet, giving no warning, waiting for her reaction.

Nancy's eyes widened and she took a reflexive step back. He had heard her. He'd been listening the entire time. Her eyes darted to the edges of the mirror again, her heart racing with panic. She couldn't tell of it was a one-way mirror or not. Either way, Loki could definitely hear her. She swallowed and met his haze again.

As if stepping back would keep her from his clutches. Loki stepped forward, toward the mirror. Toward her. The chains clinked around his ankles, but he ignored them. They wouldn't matter, not when his plan came to fruition. He tilted his head to the side, listening. Wondering when he might see her with his eyes again, and not just in a memory in his mind.

She watched as he tilted his head ever so slightly, listening. Waiting for her to make another move. To say something else. She took a cautious step forward, ready to face anything he might say or do.

So scared, this one. Almost as skitterish as a rabbit. Fortunately, Loki knew that rabbits would just as soon fight when pushed into a corner. And he had seen her fight. He sank back to the ground, crossing his legs, and tilted his head the other way. He almost wished she would say something, just so he could hear her melodious voice. If there was one thing he liked about her, it was her voice.

Now she was confused. Perhaps she'd imagined all of this. Maybe he couldn't hear her. He was just standing and turning his head to relax his tense muscles. She sighed. She'd really hoped that maybe he was listening.

With a frown, Nancy returned to her notepad.

 _I thought he could hear me, but I guess he can't. He's just moving to get rid of stiffness. I wish he could hear me. I'd say so much._

No words. Just more scribbling. Well, this was beginning to bore him. He leaned back and stretched as far as he could. If he didn't move soon, his muscles were going to freeze like this.

Nancy glanced up when she heard his chains rattle. Her heart sank again. "And chains, too." she whispered sadly. As if this prison of solitary confinement wasn't enough, they had to chain him, too. She had to get him out. Or get in there with him. She had to do _something_.

Loki smirked toward the floor, then schooled his features. Yes. Chains. He lifted them to give her a better view, knowing she would want to study them. As he had. He had studied them for hours, and yet could not find a way out of them. Well, there was one way, but he was content enough to sit here and let everything play out before he made his move.

He'd reacted again. Lifted his chains when she'd mentioned them. Perhaps he could hear her after all. A small smile lit her features as she thought of it.

"I wonder if they ever let him read. It sure must get boring in there."

Oh, books. Glorious, beautiful books! If only they would let him read in this dungeon. If there was one thing he missed about Asgard – aside from Frigga – it was his books. Shelves to the ceilings and stacks upon stacks in his chambers. He spent ages reading back home. Therefore, being here without a thing to read grated on his nerves and made him jumpy. If he could read, he knew he could escape, if only for a brief moment in time.

Loki made a mental note to discover her favorite books, that he might know that side of her too. Then he dropped his hands into his lap. Not that the chains were too heavy. He only tired of looking at them.

Nancy frowned when he dropped his chains again. He looked so bored. So sad. So lost. "I'll get you one," she whispered, "I'm sure they'd allow _one_." She paused for dramatic effect. "Stories of cuckolds for the cuckold." She grinned, waiting for his reaction.

And there it was again. The part of her he detested. Why must she make jokes about the half-moon superstitions? Did she not believe him when he told her he was not the one who had been cheated on. Oh, this woman! He would teach her to respect him, one day. When he could speak to her again. When he could see her again.

He only wanted to study her. Was that too much to ask? He wanted to crawl inside her beautiful mind and find all the things she held secret. And then he wanted to study her. Closely.

With a sigh, Nancy checked her watch. She'd definitely overstayed her welcome. As much as she didn't want to leave, she had to. She had to or else they'd get suspicious and never allow her back. No, she had to leave. For now.

"Goodbye, Loki." she continued to whisper, "I am sorry for all this. If only they knew the man I met. If only they knew you. You don't deserve this. Not this."

She forced herself to turn away. Back toward the world that despised him and despised her for wanting him. For wanting to be with him and around him. For wanting to know who he really was inside. Back into the darkness and the mundane. The world she was sick of. With one last look back toward the room, Nancy boarded the elevator and rode up to the next floor.

 _If only you knew what you've brought upon yourself._ Loki smiled to himself and looked up as he listened to her walk away. She would be back. He was sure of it.

Thor – tired, upset Thor – sat in a chair in the corner with his head leaning back against the wall. He stared off into nothing, seeing things only he could imagine.

Nancy walked over to him, cautious of his mood. She didn't want to upset him further. "I was wondering if I could bring a small token to Loki." she began, " To help him pass the time. It's almost our season of kindness." That was a good excuse. It was already November and Christmas was right around the corner. She could bring him a book for Christmas.

He easily snapped back to reality and stood to his feet with a sigh. "What form of token?"

"A book. I know how literate he is. It's my way of thanking him for being so kind to me when he didn't have to be."

"I do not see what harm it could do. Stark will insist on checking it for harmful additions."

Nancy chuckled softly. Of course he would. "Of course. I'd be surprised if he didn't." She gave a small, forced smile, then let it fade. "I can only imagine how difficult all of this is for you."

Thor nodded and glanced toward the elevator. "I keep thinking perhaps it is all a dream. That the Loki I knew has not gone, but..." he shrugged dismissively.

Nancy placed a hand on his arm, understanding the sentiment. She knew all too well how different Loki could be, if he wanted to be. "He's still there. The man I met was different than the man who attacked the city." She paused, deciding to finally tell him the truth. "He healed me."

"He... Loki... what?"

"When the hellicarrier lost its engines and began to tilt, I fell down three flights of stairs. I've never felt pain like I did when I woke. But, when Loki kidnapped me, when we were on the quinjet, the pain began to subside. By the time we landed, it was gone. My only explanation is that he healed me."

Thor's big blue eyes glistened as tears filled them. He reached down and scooped Nancy into a tight hug, more sincere than he had been since arriving. "Thank you, lady Nancy."

Nancy squeaked, the hug too tight. Thor had no idea how tight his hugs could be. How fragile humans could be. "No problem." she squeaked out, awkwardly patting his broad back. As Thor released her, Nancy smiled up at him, truly happy that she had found one acquaintance who would believe her. One person who was on her side. "Don't lose hope." she reassured him, "I haven't."

"You have restored my hope." Thor tried his best to smile at her, feeling every bit of it, but it looked a little forced.

Nancy could tell. The pain behind his smile. She could see it in his eyes. In the way he looked at her. With a polite nod of assurance, Nancy turned and made her way toward the elevator. She had to come back now. She had to. To bring Loki his book. And to let him know he wasn't alone.


	10. Chapter 10

Nancy pulled her car into the parking garage, happy to finally be off the slick roads. The snow was falling in thick sheets, as if the clouds themselves were being shoveled out of the sky. She turned off her car, grabbed the large, red book off the seat beside her, and opened her door. A blast of snowy air rushed in, sending what little heat her car had managed to generate fleeing out the open door. She pulled her blue scarf tighter around her. This walk wouldn't be as pleasant as her last.

White blindness covered her eyes and the streets as she made her way back to Stark Tower. Red and green lights blinked dimly in the windows of the stores, winking themselves at the brightness of the snow. Christmas had passed two weeks ago, but the New Yorkers were reluctant to let it end. Reluctant to let go of their facade of joy, to realize the horror of the year behind. A new year. New hope. With little red and green lights blinking to light the way.

Nancy marched her way – slipped and skated her way – up to the door of the Tower, the red anthology still clutched under one arm. She pounded on the door with the authority of an agent, and a woman who was freezing her nose – and everything else – off in the cold.

"Come on, come on!" she shouted over the blasting wind, "You could freeze fire out here!" She slammed her ID against the glass and waited for the guard to grant her entry.

The guard, having been thoroughly chastised last time Nancy came calling, immediately buzzed her into the building.

Nancy burst through the door with a huff, her grand entrance rivaling those of the Tower's owner himself. She was on a mission and a biting winter wasn't going to stop her. Although, that guard did take too long to answer. He'd hear about that later.

With a few brushes to the sleeve of her jacket, where snowflakes were quickly turning into droplets and bleeding through, she turned and marched to the elevator. At least Stark wouldn't be there. She was glad for that. Last she'd heard, his house in California had been blasted to pieces; his own fault for publically broadcasting his address. As if the whole world didn't already know where the famous, glamourous Iron Man lived. According to her research, he was still in the hospital. And Pepper, too. Wanting to cover all her bases anyway, Nancy had called ahead. She spoke to the receptionist, who supposedly passed on the message to Thor. Good, faithful, trustworthy Thor. Yes, this would work out nicely.

Thor waited at the elevator, just waiting for Nancy's arrival. Stark and Banner had long ago secluded themselves in their laboratory, and therefore Thor had taken the call telling him that Nancy had arrived. He had somehow known that she would return, and he liked her presence. She was calm, unlike most of the others here. Calm, and caring.

Nancy smiled to him as she stepped out of the elevator. "Merry Christmas. Er, belated." She opened her satchel, trailing her fingers over a small box hidden inside. If she was going to give a gift to his brother, she may as well give him one, too. He was the only one she trusted, anyway. With a grin, Nancy pulled a box of Pop-tarts out of her bag and held them out to Thor. "I believe these are the kind you like?"

Thor accepted the Pop-tarts with a smile and a hearty nod. "My thanks! I am afraid I have no gift in return."

Nancy shrugged, knowing he had no idea about their earth customs. "It's alright." She glanced down at the book again and bit her lip. She hoped Loki would like it. She really did. With a bright smile, she showed it to Thor. " _The Complete Works of William Shakespeare_. Many stories in one. I hope he'll like it."

She cuddled the book to her chest. It was her favorite. Her own personal copy. She could always get another. This was her copy from her first years of college. Her years of struggle and turmoil, as she strived to succeed in a world that wanted to eat her alive. This book meant the world to her. It was old and ragged, written in and dog-eared, but it was hers. And now it would be his.

"Would..." Thor looked around as though Tony or Bruce or some other resident would appear from around any given corner. Seeing no one, he turned back to Nancy with a lowered voice. "Would you like to present it yourself?"

"What?" Nancy blinked at him. She could see him? Thor would actually let her see him? Stand there next to him? Speak to him? "You trust him?" she asked, bewildered.

"He is chained and muzzled. There is not much he can do."

Wait… muzzled? _Muzzled_?! They'd _muzzled_ him? She'd seen it before, when he was first captured, but the last time she came, he was free. Why would they muzzle him?

"You muzzled him?!"

"Not I." Thor looked away from her. It pained him greatly to see his brother treated this way, but the others had said it was for the greater good of all. Just until Thor took him away from Earth. "He... he attempted to use his words to magic himself out. They insisted."

Nancy closed her eyes and nodded. He didn't deserve to be treated like an animal. Yes, he was a criminal, but this was beyond detainment. This was confinement of the worst sort. Confining him into the prison of his own mind. With no contact to the outside. It was sickening.

"I want to see him." she opened her eyes, a look of sheer determination crossing her features, "In person."

"I will arrange it." Thor herded her to the elevator before anyone could tell him not to. "The others must not know."

Others? What others? The agents? Rogers? As far as she knew, they weren't there. Of course, she never knew what missions the other agents were on. Perhaps they'd hung around a while. "I won't tell."

"Good." He smiled and pressed the button for sub-level six.

As Nancy boarded the elevator and they rode down to the level, she worriedly played with the strap of her satchel. The same strap Loki had fingered the last time they spoke. He'd been trying to distract her. She knew that. And it had worked. She was so excited to see him again. To be near him again. But… what if he rejected her? She couldn't deal with that. Or what if he'd try to hurt her? He was chained. She'd be able to get away. But… he had his magic. No, he wouldn't hurt her. He'd healed her. And he kept her alive for a purpose. She had to know what that purpose was. She had to know why he cared. And why she cared for him.

Thor felt his heart beat in overtime. No excursion of war had ever made him as anxious as this, going to see his own brother. Still, he knew he had to remain calm for her. He exited when the doors opened and offered his hand back in to Nancy.

Nancy smiled at the gesture. He must have noticed her nervousness. Her anxiety. She shook her head slightly and gripped her satchel-strap tightly.

"I wanna maintain some level of professionalism. If I can."

"Of course." Thor nodded in understanding, but her calm exterior could have made him feel better. He dropped his hand, a bit dejected, and led her to the door. With a final sigh, he pushed all thoughts of what could go wrong to the back of his mind. Without allowing himself to think, he punched in the long string of numbers that would allow them entrance. "I will be right here," he promised Nancy.

Suddenly, all time seemed to freeze. Nancy could feel the blood rushing through her veins. Her own breath in her lungs. This could possibly be the last time she'd ever see him. She wanted this. Needed this. No matter what happened, she needed this.

One last deep breath, and Nancy opened the door.

Loki looked up in complete surprise. Nancy McAllister? Here? In his cell? He glanced to his brother. What was he thinking? Everyone would be in loads of trouble. Did he even think of what Loki might do to Nancy? No, of course not. Because he was thick. The thickest. And he assumed Loki could do nothing in this state. Loki narrowed his gaze at Thor.

Thor shrugged and shut the door firmly. Leaving them all alone. Of course. What an oaf.

Nancy swallowed hard and stepped closer, one hand rising to cover her mouth. He looked so innocent. So hurt. So helpless. Shackled to the wall with a muzzle over his mouth. They'd silenced all form of communication. They'd stolen his words, those dear and precious friends that would remain when all others turned away. ...Those brutes! Calling themselves 'Earth's greatest heroes'! They were less heroic than the villain they'd captured! They'd forced away all hope as if even kindness was below them.

"What have they done to you?" she whispered, her voice wavering, as tears sprung to her eyes.

Loki sighed inwardly and furrowed his brow at Nancy. Why would she risk this? Why was she here yet again? Only because she thought he could not harm her? Or because she wanted so much more information? Surely it was all a game. Even the great Natasha Romanov had seemed sincere when she came to speak with him about the archer. This was more than likely just another trick, using his own desires against him. He didn't lighten his gaze.

Nancy wiped at the tears on her cheeks and stepped toward him. She had to explain why she was there. "I brought you something." She held out her sacred book to him. Hopefully he'd enjoy it. "I hope they let you keep it. And read it."

Loki looked down at the large tome and pondered her intentions. Could it be that she had ulterior motives? Or was this simply because she understood his love for books? With little delay, he lifted his gaze to her face and forced the furrows in his brow to deepen. Why was she confusing? And what was she really up to?

Nancy noted his expression. His confusion. Of course he was confused. He had no idea of the feelings he'd left her with. Of how he filled her every thought and dream. She forced a smile and motioned to the book. "I wanted to thank you for your kindness to me." She bobbed her head a little, remembering the negative side to her story. "Yes, you kidnapped me, but you never harmed me. And I know you healed me. That book is the least I can do to return the favor."

She paused, knowing he couldn't reply. Hesitantly, she stepped closer and reached to touch the muzzle. She brushed her fingers lightly over the cool steel. She'd do anything to take it off him. "I'm sorry for what they've done." she whispered, gazing down into his eyes.

No. Not that. Anything but a reminder of what they had done. Loki gently pushed her hand aside, away from the terrible silver thing around his lips. He wanted her to overlook it. Because he had learned to treat it as if it were not there. Instead, he reached for the book in her hands. If it was, indeed, "just something she could do to return the favor" then he had no qualms accepting it. A book was a book.

Nancy's smile returned, this time genuine, as he accepted the book. With a sniffle and another brush at the tears that were streaming, she turned and sat down in front of him, crossing her legs like she had before. Before all this ever happened. Only, this time she was in the cage with him. This time, he wasn't alone.

She took off her dark-blue suit-coat and folded it length-wise next to her. Instead of her usual white button-up shirt, she wore a soft, white turtle-neck that hugged every curve and subtly revealed them. A light-blue scarf caressed her neck and hung down her front. It was simple, a bit plain, but exquisite nonetheless. She'd chosen the ensemble just for him. Just so he could see her in it. It complemented her hair, her skin, her eyes. Everything about her became more beautiful whenever she wore it. And that's why she chose it.

"Do you remember my little 'cuckold' metaphor?" Nancy asked, trying to push past the end of her tears, "Well, that book is full of them. And the language should be pretty close to what you're used to. Well, you're a bit more Victorian than Elizabethan, but still… I hope you like it. I love Shakespeare's works. So I thought I'd share them with you."

Of course. She would remember that. Well, no matter. He would put the jest out of his mind. He glanced up briefly, and allowed the picture before him to imprint in his memory. Had she any idea how alluring she looked in those raiments? How it left just the right amount of curves to the imagination, while settling gently around others. Or, perhaps, she was not as naïve as he had originally thought. Loki set the book beside him.

How to communicate when his means of communication had been taken from him? He could not speak to her, nor did he have something with which to write. He looked down. And an idea sparked. Of course. Loki looked up at her again. She was intelligent. Surely she would fit the pieces together. He indicated her with his hands, then gestured around the room.

He was trying to communicate. Of course he would be. And of course they hadn't taken _everything_. He was a genius and had known she'd be able to read his gestures. Let's see, a gesture to her, then to the room. He wanted her to look at the room. What was the room? A cell. A cage. Yes, it was another cage. He wanted her to see that he was in yet another cage.

Nancy gave a sad laugh. "Yeah, another cage. But I'm not here to study you today. I just told them that. I came to see you." She sighed, wishing they could really talk. Really have a conversation. "I wish I could take that off you."

Yes. So did he. Loki brought a hand up to touch the intricate carvings on the dreaded thing. If only he could get it off. He shrugged like it didn't matter. Because it didn't. Really.

Moving on, then. How to communicate his next thought? Loki pointed at her, then back at himself. He made hands like a book and stared at them for an appropriate amount of time before he looked back up at her. He hoped she got the message: _You came to study me?_

Oh, another gesture. Her. Him. Reading a book. Her reading him like a book? Oh, her comment about studying him. She'd referenced the time she went to study him in his other cell, but she supposed she should tell him the truth. He should know. "Yeah, I did. A few months ago."

Loki smiled at her. Good girl. He had known she would be a quick study.

Nancy turned to glance at the window behind her. Hadn't he known? He'd reacted. He responded to things she'd done and said. Hadn't he known she was there? But, she'd been right. It was a one-way. Her own confused self stared back at her. "I could've sworn…" With a shake of her head, she turned back around to face him. Perhaps she had imagined it after all. "Never mind."

She paused. Her next statement would be grave. But it needed to be said. And she desperately wanted to know how he'd react. "This is the last time you'll ever see me."

Loki shook his head slowly and lowered his hands to rest on his lap. Perhaps now she would give him a better insight into why she had come. What she had been thinking. Something.

Nancy frowned at his sudden lack of gestures. Perhaps what he wanted to say couldn't be said with gestures. Then, how could he say it? She glanced down and noticed her satchel sitting in her lap. Of course! Why hadn't she thought of it sooner? Without a moment's more hesitation, Nancy dove into her satchel and brought out a pen and her yellow notepad.

"This is not a weapon. Don't make it one." A twinge of fear, the slightest twinge, and Nancy handed over the items.

His chuckle came out as more of a snort. He should have thought of this ages ago. Of course she had writing utensils. And of course she had assumed he would turn it into a weapon. Even though he could, if he wanted, Loki had no intention of doing so. That would ruin his plans.

He scribbled quickly – hurriedly – in her native tongue on the paper offered, then handed it back so she could read it. He meant every word of it, and he hoped she knew that. He lowered his gaze to the page as she read:

 _I will be back for you._

Nancy sat as cold as ice as she read the words, a look of pure horror on her face. Even her blood froze in her veins. His words were a threat. A promise. She had no idea what he planned. But, underneath it all, there was a twinge of care. He'd be back… for her. He wanted her. Perhaps as much as she wanted him. …But, still. It was a threat. From the man who had nearly enslaved the world.

She swallowed hard and tried to speak, but her words only failed her. Struck to silence by the gravity of his words. With a breath to regain her composure, Nancy tried again. "Well, if you're going to be cryptic, I won't give you paper." It was all she could come up with. An attempt at a threat in response to his.

There had been nothing cryptic about it, but Loki let that slide. He shrugged at her again. And then he stared. She thought so much more than she said. He just knew it. Up there, in that beautiful head of hers, her thoughts ran rampant. And he wanted to know more. So, tell him she would. He motioned for her to go on with her explanation.

Another gesture. This one she remembered. It was the same gesture he'd used on Romanov, giving her the floor to explain herself. He wanted Nancy to explain why he'd never see her again.

"The only reason I'm here," her words trembled and wavered as she spoke, bespeaking her fear. As much as she tried to regain her composure, it was falling fast, "is because Thor let me in. The others don't know. This is a one-time thing."

Another twinge of fear rocked her heart as he handed back the paper.

 _Thor doesn't own me. You don't need his permission._

A small sigh of relief escaped her lips as Nancy read the words. At least he was finally being civil. "No, but Thor cares more than you realize. He's on your side. He hates what they're doing to you. That's why he let me in. The others won't allow that."

Of course the oaf had told her that. Just to win her over, no doubt. He yanked at the pen and paper and set to scribbling again. _I'm told the Tesseract portal is almost ready. They will take me away soon. Do not think I will not return, for one can never make assumptions with one such as myself._

Good. Concise. He thought that got the message across. He shoved it back into her lap.

Nancy watched as he scrawled the note, nearly breaking her aluminum-cased pen in the process. He was furious. In an instant, the notepad was tossed into her lap in a rage. Something she'd said upset him.

"Loki, calm down." Her voice was soft and soothing, trying to bring him back to his senses. In an effort to calm him, she placed her hand over his, wrapping her fingers loosely around it. "I know you're angry. You have every right to be. You're right, they shouldn't be treating you like this. I don't agree with it, either. But, please, these are our last few moments together." Tears gathered in her eyes again and she tried to blink them away. She didn't want things to end like this. She knew there had to be more. He was angry, yes, but hurt, too. Maybe, at least, her words and touch could be a balm to him, "What if you don't come back? For whatever reason. No one can predict the future. The last thing you'll have seen of me is both of us upset. Please." A tear dripped down her cheek at the thought of losing him like this.

Loki's hand came up, almost involuntarily, and swiped away the tear that hung from her chin. She was much lovelier without the tears. He sighed. Fine. He would calm. But only because she asked so nicely. And... had... put her hand on his? He lowered his gaze to study it. That was not the touch of a woman wanting to calm a maniac. That was something much more... personal.

Nancy followed his gaze and glanced at their hands. She slowly and carefully moved her hand to finger the shackle on his wrist. "I'll wait for you." she whispered, gazing up into his eyes, "But, please, no destruction next time. I lost so many friends."

Yes, too many important friends. Friends that had been like family. If he was coming back, she wanted it to be for only one reason.

Such a request. Did she realize she had no leverage to demand such a thing from him? Calmly this time, Loki took the paper and pen from her lap and scrawled his message.

 _Why, pet, would you have me come back then?_

There it was again. The term of endearment. The reason he'd let her live. Because he cared for her. She didn't know why, but she knew he did. And that meant everything to her. "You said it yourself. For me."

 _That does not frighten you? That you gained the attention of a madman? What do you think I would do with you?_

There were about half-a-dozen things she could think of him doing to her. Things she wanted him to do. She glanced away and blushed, trying to push the thoughts from her mind.

"Of course it frightens me. I have no idea what you've planned. But, maybe that's the beauty of it. That I don't know. But I want to." She looked at him again, this time unafraid, "You're dark, and dangerous, and… mysterious. But, beneath it all, you're kind. I know you wouldn't hurt me."

Loki rolled his eyes. He simply had not given the right impression, had he? Did she not have the sense to fear him, as all the others did? He should never have wiped away her tears, that surely only solidified his weakness in her eyes. This woman confounded him beyond any reasonable parameters. He reached for the pad again.

Thor – dumb giant that he was – threw the door open and stepped in with a single announcement. "Lady Nancy, we must go. They have discovered us."

Nancy gasped and snatched the writing utensils away from Loki, standing as she did so. She leaned over him and whispered in his ear, "Hide your book or they'll take it." With one last look into his beautiful green eyes, she whispered, "Goodbye." Without thinking, Nancy kissed his forehead. A soft, sweet, caring kiss. A kiss to let him know just how she felt about him. That, despite how the others treated him, how the rest of the world treated him, she still cared. She would always care.

Reluctantly, she pulled away and dashed out the door, her jacket remaining on the floor of Loki's cell.

Thor hurriedly escorted her toward the elevator. In Nancy's hand, one sentence slowly scrawled itself in perfectly proportioned letters as they ran.

 _I do not share my playthings well_.

Hurriedly, Nancy reached to tear the scrawled-on pages from her notebook. And then she saw it. His note. A small smile crossed her features as she read. She'd definitely have fun analyzing that sentence later. But, for now, she had to leave. As she stepped into the elevator, Nancy reached for her jacket. Oh, wait! Her jacket! She'd left it in Loki's cell!

Before the doors could close, Nancy was racing back down the hall. "I forgot my jacket!"

"You do not have the code!" Thor dashed after her.

"Then put it in." The others would discover them any moment. She was sure of it. But she needed her jacket. Even if she got thrown out for it. As she waited for Thor to punch in the code, she ripped the pages from her notebook and stuffed them in her bag.

Thor entered the code as quickly as his fumbling fingers would allow, and the door unlocked with a hiss of air.

Nancy burst back through the door and scooped her jacket into her arms. As she turned to leave, she stopped momentarily. She'd never have this chance again, so she might as well take it. With a grin, Nancy leaned over Loki again and whispered, "Neither do I." She let her eyes meet his with a playful flash, and then she was out the door again. As soon as the door slammed shut behind her, she heard the ding of the elevator. They were here.

"Guard the door." she commanded Thor, rushing around to the window. In an instant, her jacket was over the back of a nearby chair and her notepad was in her hands, a page of old notes standing in place for the new. She stood there, innocently, as if nothing had happened. She could do this. She could pull this off. Everything depended on this moment. She could do this.

The elevator doors opened to reveal one fairly distracted Tony Stark. He stepped out, clearly on a mission, and then stopped short. His surprise might have been genuine, or faked. He was too good an actor to tell. "McAllister! Hey, when did you get here?"

Nancy turned to look at him, genuine surprise on her face. When did Stark get there? He was supposed to have been in the hospital. "Oh, about half an hour ago. Thor let me come down. I called and said I was stopping by. Did they not tell you?"

Tony narrowed his eyes. She had really tried that? He knew a lie when he heard one. "No. They didn't. Thor usually tells me when you show up."

"Strange." Nancy pulled out her cell phone, pulled up her call log, and showed it to him, nearly shoving it in his face. "I talked to the receptionist downstairs about two hours ago."

"Felicia? Oh, please. Always have her put you through to Pepper. Felicia disregards everything. Still doesn't answer why the big guy didn't tell me. Anyone?"

Pepper was out of the hospital, too? Oh, no. She should've done more research. Nancy shrugged like nothing was wrong and jerked a thumb in Thor's direction. "I gave him Pop-tarts. In the spirit of our 'Midgardian tradition of Christmas'." She grinned for emphasis and friendly welcoming. Because that's who she was, a friend. A friendly agent. Yep. Totally trustworthy. Friends. "I think it distracted him."

"O-kay..." He still didn't believe her, but as far as excuses went, it was a good one. He had seen the big guy around Pop-tarts. "Say your goodbyes or whatever. Twenty-one days and he's out of here."

Nancy's smile faded and she turned to glance to the one-way mirror. She studied Loki one last time, taking in everything about him, in case she never got to see him again. Twenty-one days. So soon. Too soon.

"I'll have to tell the Council he's leaving." She forced herself to turn back towards Stark and shrugged like nothing was wrong. Like she wasn't dying inside. "Oh, well. I got what information I could." In an effort to calm his distrusting mood, Nancy forced another smile and reached for her jacket.

Tony shoved his hands in his pockets, completely relaxed. "I'll walk you out. You staying down here, big guy?"

Thor nodded once, solemnly.

"Well, okay, then." Tony turned for the elevator, waiting for Nancy to precede him.

Nancy swallowed and walked to the elevator, shrugging her jacket on as she went. His gestures and emotions were all she needed to know that she was unwelcome here. Perhaps he hadn't found out. Perhaps he still didn't know she had faked every document to get here. Maybe he is just in a bad mood from dealing with his recovery. Yeah, that could explain it. He was just recovering was all.

In an effort to lighten the thickening mood, and show her friendship to her one friend in the place, Nancy called back to Thor, "Don't eat the whole box in one day." She glanced over her shoulder and gave him a small smile. It'd be the last time she'd see him, too.

The doors dinged open again – prompt, weren't they? – and Tony escorted her into the elevator. He waited for the doors to close before he commented on her command. "You know he'll eat all of them within an hour, right?"

"Probably."

"He's probably forcing one onto Loco right now."

Nancy bristled at the jab. The ridiculing name. The Spanish term for a state of mental disorder, made all the worse for its resemblance to Loki's actual name. And then there was that mental picture. That Thor – Loki's only brother and the only person in this hell-hole who actually _cared_ anything about him – would do something so crude. Oh, she could've turned and slapped Stark right then. She gripped her satchel strap tightly in an effort to restrain herself.

Okay, usually that nickname at least earned him a laugh. But nothing. Awk-ward! Tony kept his gaze straight forward. She'd talk if she wanted to.

The elevator ride back up was far longer than she remembered. Nancy could feel her anger rising and knew she must say something, lest she really turn and slap that smug smirk off his pompous face. "Why did you muzzle him?"

"So he can't get out." Tony rolled his eyes melodramatically. "And do you know how utterly annoying he can be? I swear, a million words a minute!"

Nancy flexed her fingers subtly around the fabric. Just one hit. She could do it. She could. It would catch him off guard completely. But, would she really risk hitting a man twice her size? A man with a thousand times her strength? No. She couldn't risk it. So, instead, she'd use the only weapon she _did_ have, her words.

"Well, your little contraption made it very difficult for me to do my work. Do you have any idea how many muscles there are in the structure of the lip? Even the smallest movement is vital. If you ever want to read someone's mind, Mr. Stark, you only need to read their face." And, just for emphasis, she turned stoic. Have fun reading that, jerk.

"Good to know." The elevator reached the main floor, and Tony decided now was the best time to drop his secret ammunition on her. "So sorry to hinder your unauthorized observation."

"I told you," Nancy rolled her eyes and stepped out of the elevator. One more moment in there and she _would have_ slapped him. "I called ahead. And Thor escorted me down there himself. I thought you had approved it." Ya know, from his hospital bed. Where he was _supposed_ to be. "My mistake."

"Yeah, about that. I hacked S.H.I.E.L.D.'s database. You aren't supposed to be here, but I allowed it anyway. Merry Christmas." The doors slid slowly closed.

A sound similar to a squeak rose from the back of Nancy's throat. Her wide eyes never left the closed doors. He'd known. He'd known all along. And he allowed it. He'd known of her secret fetish with the villain. All along. And he allowed it. Nancy willed her gaping mouth to close. Willed herself to regain her composure. People were staring.

With a few blinks to snap her out of it, she turned on her heel and strode out the doors, back into the cold. As much as she tried to keep what little dignity she had left, she was failing. Miserably. She was on a deep, dark decline and she knew it. Apparently, so did everyone else.

With fumbling hands and a quivering lip, Nancy managed to unlock her car door. She slipped in behind the wheel and stared out at the city skyline in front of her. Where everyone, _everyone_ ,was far better off than she was. They all went on with their lives, in the aftermath of the battle, as if nothing had ever happened. As if hope and peace and joy were as tangible as the forever-blinking Christmas lights. They knew not of the travesties that played upon her heart. The fantasies that raced through her mind of loving and being loved by a madman.

A piercing scream escaped her lips.


	11. Chapter 11

Nancy shivered as she stood atop one of the apartment buildings near the park. The snow of the previous weeks had long since passed, but the cold wind still rose up against her, like a living symbol of the day. Sunshine and peace for all the others. A time of rebirth and restarting. But not for her. For her, she only felt the chilling wind. The ice that still clung in the air. Today was the day Loki returned to Asgard. Today was the day they took him away.

With every ounce of rationale left in her body, she'd decided she needed to be there, no matter the consequences. She needed to watch his departure. Needed to be there for him. Needed him to know. One last goodbye, in case she never saw him again.

She crouched low, bracing herself against the edge of the building, and peered over the edge, waiting for the cars to arrive. Roger's bike pulled up first. Then Stark's red sports-car. Romanoff's blue SUV pulled up last. One by one, they all piled out. Thor, Selvig, and Tony out of the red one. Barton, Banner, and Romanoff out of hers. Nancy ducked low as the agents glanced around. She knew Barton would see her without fail, even from this distance, and she needed to be careful lest he give her position away. Timidly, she glanced over the railing again. Thor was heading for Romanoff's car, where he opened one final door.

Nancy gasped and fumbled for her binoculars. She needed to see this up close. Needed to see the look on his face. In his eyes. She steadied the device against her and adjusted the focus. There, there he was. She watched as Loki stepped out.

He looked so hurt, so broken. A bruise was beginning on the left side of his forehead, the telltale sign that he'd put up a fight. He was muzzled again… that was probably why. Nancy's tears stung her cheeks in the blistering wind, but she couldn't look away.

Loki knew fighting was futile, as he had tried it more than once. He was strong, but there were six of them, and together they would always have more strength than he ever could. He stepped into the cool afternoon air with his usual confident stride, which only faltered in a brief moment when he felt someone watching. It was her. It had to be. She was the only one who would watch him so intently that he felt her eyes on him.

Loki tilted his head ever so slightly to look over the rooftops. She would only have a clear line of sight from a rooftop. There were too many trees otherwise. And he found her, her position given away by the glint of sun against her binoculars. She hadn't been trained for stealth, had she? Beneath his muzzle, he smiled ever so slightly. She didn't realize it now, but he would return for her. There was nothing that would stop his plan from moving forward.

He would miss her in his absence, yes, but he would more than make up for it when he had all he ever desired. She would be his, then. His perfect obsession. And there was nothing she could do to convince him to end it now. Here. In this park. This was only the beginning. He focused forward again.

Slowly, the group led him to the center of the garden square. Such peace went on around them. Busy pedestrians passed by, hurrying on their way to work. A few stopped to stare, but mainly life went on as usual. Birds sung in the trees, ducks sailed across the pond, flowers peeked their heads above the soil, trying to sneak their own view of the scene. Everything, every peaceful moment, only stood to mock and berate him, teasing him for his failed attempt at enslavement. Life went on, despite his pain. Despite his destruction. Life went on. In a hurt rage, Loki shrugged away from his brother, upset at his betrayal.

A sob escaped Nancy's lips. She was there for him. If no one else was, she was there for him. "Please, please don't take him away." Her words flowed unconsciously, bearing a will of their own.

The heroes all gathered around the two Asgardians as Selvig reached to pull the Tesseract device from the trunk of Romanoff's car. Thor took it from him and held it out to Loki, ready to lead him to his fate.

"No, don't do it. Fight them. Fight them!"

But it was too late. Loki grabbed the other end and Thor turned it on.

"No!" Nancy's scream rang out through the towers around her as a blue light engulfed the man she loved. Before the agents could see her, she ducked down again, curling into herself. The other agents hadn't even heard her.

Nancy sniffled and held her hands to her heart. He was gone. He was gone. But he'd be back. He'd promised… he'd promised.

* * *

/

* * *

"Congratulations, McAllister."

Nancy looked up from the endless waves of emails on her screen to see Agent Samuel Dubois, her supervising officer, standing over her, his arms folded over the walls of her cubicle. "You've been reassigned."

"Reassigned?" Nancy leaned back in her chair, confused. Was she finally getting out of this dungeon of desk work? "Where to?"

"The Hub."

Nancy's mouth gaped open. The Hub. She'd only been there a couple times, on other missions. Only important matters were processed in The Hub.

Agent Dubois laughed and slapped a folder down in front of her. "Your Level 6 privileges have been reinstated, by the director himself. And _he_ assigned you this detail. Three new recruits for you to train, fresh out of the Academy... Linguistics Division."

As she opened the folder, three young, smiling faces looked back at her. Three photos on copies of three S.H.I.E.L.D. IDs. Two girls, one guy. Three profiles of new agents, in one debriefing packet. Oh, how she'd missed this. With a smile, Nancy glanced back up at Dubois.

"Effective immediately, McAllister."

Nancy sprang from her chair and grabbed her jacket, a renewed hope in her eyes. She'd been reinstated. She would get field work again.

Agent Dubois laughed again and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Good work, McAllister."

* * *

/

* * *

"Whatever you do, don't mention _you-know-who_."

Three new S.H.I.E.L.D agents clustered in a hallway of the Hub, preparing themselves for their new Supervising Officer, Agent Nancy McAllister. They'd heard all about her back at the academy. Of how she was the leading linguist over all things Asgardian. Norse mythology was her specialty, after all. Of how she defied orders to meet Loki face-to-face. Of how Loki had kidnapped her. No one knew why she did what she did. Some said Loki was her secret lover. Others said she'd simply gone insane with her work. Then there were the few dreamy-eyed rookies who believed Agent Nancy McAllister was "simply a rebel and that's how she rolls".

Agent Nathan Harper, a tall young man with frizzy, brown hair rolled his eyes. "Oh, whatever, Susan. She's a professional. I'm sure she wouldn't mind a darn thing we said."

"Still, we shouldn't mention it. We're here to learn, not patronize her."

Agent Susan Lancaster shifted her large satchel to her other shoulder. It was almost larger than she was, with all her books and papers peeking out over the brim.

"I don't care what either of you think." Agent Martha Rose stated matter-of-factly, "I'm just here to get this over with so we can start working on some _real_ cases."

Susan checked her watch. "Well, anyway... it's time. And neither of you had better say anything."

Nathan scoffed. "Or what?"

"Or... or I'll refuse to work with you." With a nod, Susan marched off toward Computer Lab B108. Martha shrugged and started after her, nonchalantly sticking her hands in her pockets as she walked. With a heavy sigh, Nathan followed, wishing he could be assigned anywhere else in the world.

/

Nancy paced back and forth across the empty lab. They would be here any minute. Dimmed computer screens buzzed softly as she passed. She shouldn't be nervous. Why was she nervous? This was an assignment. The first _real_ assignment she'd had since the Battle. Well, maybe it was because she wouldn't be training just _one_ new agent, as was the norm. No, her higher-ups had seen fit to give her three to mentor at once. Maybe this was punishment. Punishment for disobeying orders. Had they found out? Did they know she'd been sneaking into Stark Tower? No. They couldn't have known. They would've fired her… or worse. No, this was just punishment for disobeying orders, back during the Battle. It had to be. Or they really thought she could handle it. Yeah… this was punishment.

The glass door behind her hissed as it slid open, jolting her from her thoughts. Three new S.H.I.E.L.D. agents stepped inside, their own satchels and bags slung over their shoulders.

Nancy took a deep breath to compose herself, braced herself for whatever might happen, and spun on her heel, suddenly finding herself the center of attention in the cluster of young agents.

"I'm Agent Nancy McAllister," she began, skipping the formalities, "Level five agent and one of the highest ranking agents of the Linguistics Division. Over the next six months, I will be your Supervising Officer." She paced menacingly back and forth in front of them, looking each one over in turn, "You will eat, sleep, and breathe linguistics. Your time at the academy is _over_. This is the _real_ _deal_. Here, we don't just analyze patterns and study people. We don't make inferences about populations or speculations based on statistics. We don't care about class or race or whatever else you studied at the academy. Here, the patterns we study save lives. One mistake and the universe could collapse. Here, language is more than conversing. Agent Lancaster, tell me... what is language?"

"Um... you mean, if it's not just conversing?" She finally let her satchel drop with a loud thud, "Well, it's interacting. It's people responding to people. I guess, in the case of S.H.I.E.L.D, it's power struggles and identities and backgrounds and such. Right?"

Nancy hid her proud smile. These kids really did know their stuff. "Good." She waved a hand and motioned the agents over to a long, metal table poised at the back of the room. Five rectangular cases of glass sat evenly apart from one another, an old, worn parchment encased inside. "Have any of you ever heard of the Red Skull?"

The agents all exchanged nervous glances. Was this a trick question?

"Of course we have." Nathan stated, "The leader of HYDRA and former nemesis of Captain America. What about him?" He stepped closer, examining the preserved parchment. Wrinkled and water-damaged pages were flattened out, revealing images of a portal and strange words written in a foreign language. "What is this?"

"These are documents that were recovered when Captain America was brought out of the ice." Nancy explained, "Red Skull used these documents himself to study the Tesseract. He read them, studied them, and gleaned what information he could. As linguists for S.H.I.E.L.D, sometimes all you have to go on are bits and pieces of information. An old, half-destroyed document, a scrap of recorded voice, half of an old myth. Red Skull used these stories to harness the strongest power this world has ever seen.

"And I want you to tell me how. What do these documents say? What would they have shown him? All you have are these documents and whatever else you have access to on the S.H.I.E.L.D system. You have one hour. Oh, and that hour started... let's see... fifteen minutes ago." Nancy turned away, grinning, as the agents began to scramble around each other. It had been too long since she'd had a team. Too long since she'd been a mentor for young agents. Too long since she'd been in charge of anything. It felt good to finally get back to normal. To be home.

As Nancy glanced out the large, glass windows into the hall, her blood suddenly ran cold. A short, balding man in a signature black suit strode past her lab, talking with Agent Victoria Hand, the lead agent over every inner-working of the Hub. The man turned and glanced in the lab, hardly paying much attention to the goings-on inside. He made eye-contact with Nancy and gave a half-smile, then turned his attention back to Agent Hand.

"Coulson?!" Nancy quickly wove her way through the computer desks, nearly tripping over the scattered bags as she went. She stumbled up the stairs into the hall and nearly fell through the glass doors as she tugged them open.

How could Coulson be alive? He was dead! She saw his body herself. Saw the card Agent Hill had placed on his body. Attended his memorial and lit a candle in his honor. He'd been sliced through the heart with Loki's scepter. He was dead! So how was he still alive?

"Coulson!" Nancy's feet couldn't carry her fast enough. The man and Agent Hand had already tuned a corner and were heading for the elevators. Nancy turned the corner, not far behind, but was soon confronted by a pass-gate. She growled softly and fumbled for her ID. On the other side of the door, the two agents were already boarding the lift.

With a swipe of her ID and a glance to the retinal scanner, Nancy was through the door. But the elevator doors were already closing. "Coulson!"

Agent Phil Coulson looked up and smiled at Nancy as the elevator doors slid closed.

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy sighed and wiped at the dripping sweat on her brow. As much as she loved field work, she didn't mean that literally. Not in a literal field. Well, mountainous terrain area outside of a cave. But, still.

She leaned back against the metal table and sipped at her bottle of water. Behind her, Viking artifacts lay sprawled out over the table, comparison texts strewn about and held down by rocks of various sizes. As much as she hated having to hike over rocks and boulders and wallow around in the dirt and mud, she had to admit, it gave her a rush that she loved. She was surrounded by histories, cultures, people. Language itself, frozen in time. Everything she went into linguistics for. Her team scrambled around behind her, dusting old artifacts and preparing them for transport.

But this dig was different. Any team could go and dig up clay pots and hieroglyphs. Archaeology at its finest. This dig was special. She'd been called in because her areas of expertise were Old English and Norse. The same reason she'd been called in to the Bifrost site.

She'd been a part of S.H.I.E.L.D. for far too long for them to pull the wool over her eyes. She knew she wasn't on _Thor's Mountain_ looking for Norse engravings. She was looking for Asgardian relics. Something had happened. Something big. And she guessed it had something to do with the alien invasion of London. She'd seen images of Thor on the news. Images of the fight. By the time she was able to grab a flight out there, the battle was over and he was gone again. He was her one connection to Loki, but he'd left too soon.

But, then she'd been given this detail. She and her team were sent to dig on this island, while a new threat terrorized the world. Something about crazed, raging teenagers with superhuman strength. But a different department with a different team would deal with that. For now, she'd remain here with her little linguists swarming around her.

She prayed silently that she'd find something, some relic, to bring Loki back to her again.

* * *

/

* * *

"Are you alright?"

Nancy opened her eyes see Nathan sitting across from her, studying her intently. She'd been sitting with her eyes closed and an ice-pack on her head. Their dig complete, the team was flying back to the Hub for some much needed R&R. After a few more days of study, Nancy would be free to return home. Good. She thought she deserved it.

"Just a headache." Nancy forced a smile, "No big deal."

"Okay. Just checking. Hey, what do you think we were looking for, anyway?"

Susan popped her head up over the back of Nathan's seat. "You aren't supposed to ask, Nate. You'll get us in trouble. Just do as you're told."

Nancy chuckled sleepily. "Is that what they taught you? They taught me that, too. Does anyone ever really _listen_ to that rule? Well, sometimes. But, not really. 'Trust the system'. The system has flaws. Every system does. Just go with your gut, kid, and you'll be fine."

"Is that what you did with Loki?" Martha piped over Nathan's other shoulder, "Sorry to pry, McAllister."

Nancy sighed heavily. "Yeah. That's what I did. I broke procedure and paid dearly for it."

The two girls leaned closer, nearly toppling into Nathan's lap.

"Girls! Watch it!" he complained, shooing them away. They both shushed him.

"I still don't know why I did it. I was brought on the case during the New Mexico project and stayed on, but... I was only supposed to study him. Analyze his speech patterns. Come up with a psychoanalysis, nothing more. Just a profile. I didn't even have clearance to be down there. I..." Nancy gave a sigh, "When I was watching him, I... _saw_ something. In the way he looked at the camera. In his mannerisms and carriage."

"What did you see?" Martha moved to sit next to her S.O., "Was it awful?"

"No..." Nancy admitted, remembering the moment she first saw Loki for herself, "It was... sad. Have you ever looked into the eyes of a caged tiger? It looked kinda like that. He looked so... hurt. So... alone."

The three agents blinked at her.

"I'm not making sense, am I?"

"Sure you are." Susan commented, "He was alone, on a foreign planet, trapped in a cage, and surrounded by his enemies. You just wanted to be... a friend."

It was Nancy's turn to blink in surprise. "Well, yeah."

"Do you women even _hear_ yourself?" Nathan grumbled, "He was a monster! A murderer! He wiped out half of Manhattan in less than an hour!" He stood and headed for the back of the cabin, "And I hope he rots, wherever he is."

Nancy turned in her seat to study the young agent.

"Nate's brother is an agent." Martha explained, "He was hurt before the Battle. Loki shot him with his scepter. He spent six months in the hospital because of it. They thought he wouldn't survive."

Nancy's eyes widened. She knew she'd heard that surname before. Harper. James Harper. Nathan was James' little brother. "Oh, Nathan. I'm sorry. Is he okay?"

"What do you care? I bet you didn't even know him. He was just a soldier." he turned for the private area at the back of the plane, "Wake me when we get there."

* * *

/

* * *

The sun shone brightly through the leafy trees, creating a scattered pattern of shadows on the road. Cozy, little houses were dotted here and there as Nancy made her way home.

Endless hours of translating had left her feeling drained and exhausted. All that work and she was no closer to seeing Loki again. There weren't any magic portals in the heap of artifacts. No secret instructions on how to transcend space and time. They weren't even Asgardian! She appreciated the old relics, but their splendor was lost in the wake of her dying hope.

Everything rested on that one note. One phrase, one _promise_ scrawled on a piece of scratch paper. _I will be back for you_. How could he return if he was captive on Asgard? Worse, what if they'd killed him?! He was good at escaping, but that was only from the cage of mere mortals. Surely it would be harder for him to escape from his own kind... right?

As she made her way into the city, Nancy reflected back on her last conversation with him. _What do you think I would do with you?_ She had no idea. She still had no idea why he'd kidnapped her in the first place. Convenience? Did he just take her because she was there when he woke... and somehow kept running into him? Or was it more than that? Was he as interested in her as she was in him? Did thoughts of her plague him at night, as her own thoughts plagued her? Why would he return? She had no idea. All she could do was be patient and wait to find out.

Half an hour later, Nancy pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex and trudged up the stairs. Her legs felt as if they would fall off. All she wanted to do was sleep.

When she opened her door, her rottweiler, Brutus, nearly toppled her over. Her sister, Anita, had been watching him for her.

"Down, Brutus! Go to your house!"

But Brutus's plush dog-bed was scattered in fluffy, white pieces all around the living room. Nancy gaped at the scene. Just when she thought she was going to get a break. Brutus whimpered and dropped a piece of white fluff at her feet. Nancy groaned and sank into a nearby kitchen chair.

It was going to be another long day.


	12. Chapter 12

Thor looked around the street for any of the landmarks that Stark had instructed him to look out for. This Maryland was a whole new world for him. New York he knew now, and New Mexico he had acquainted himself with long ago. But, Maryland puzzled him still.

He would not be there at all if he did not feel an obligation to Nancy McAllister. She was the only human who had stood by his brother and tried to understand him, even in the most dire of situations. And, Thor was not an idiot. He had seen the way she looked at his brother. As though she could stare into the man's eyes forever. The same way he looked at Jane.

So, here he was. Because Nancy deserved to know.

He found her flat easily. The breath he took was more to steady himself than to prepare for her reaction. She would not like this news, but it had to be done.

* * *

/

* * *

"Brutus Maximus! Get down off that sofa!" Nancy blinked at the haze in her eyes, doing everything she could to stay awake. Here she had worked day and night trying to decode those relics, and just when Brutus had been left alone for one evening, he decided to have a hay-day with his doggie-bed. She turned on the vacuum for the little bits and quickly chased Brutus out of the room with it. Stupid dog. Why did she have a dog in the first place?

At almost the same instant, a knock resounded on her front door, shaking it on its hinges. Even with the running vacuum the knock was loud enough for Nancy to hear it.

"The heck? Who could _that_ be?" Nancy quickly tuned off the sweeper and headed for the door. As she opened it, she suddenly remembered about the rag she'd tied around her head. She ditched it as fast as humanly possible, further messing her already messy hair.

"Thor?" Nancy blinked in surprise. He was the _last_ person she'd expect to find at her door. "Wha...?"

Thor kept his hands loosely by his sides. Stark and the Captain had said it showed he meant no harm and brought out his "friendly demeanor". His attempt at a smile fell short, so Thor stopped trying to smile. Instead, he leveled his gaze on her and heaved a great sigh. "Lady Nancy. Might I... might I enter?"

Nancy blinked again. Something was wrong. _Very_ wrong. Why else would Thor be _here_ of all places? Something had happened.

Before she could answer, Brutus had slipped in beside her and was barking viciously at Thor. Snapped back to attention, Nancy quickly gripped the dog's collar and puled him back. "Down Brutus!" She pulled the door open wider for Thor. "Sure. Come on in. Um.. excuse the mess." White fuzzies were still scattered over the living room.

"I have seen worse." Thor stooped to pet the dog. Anything to lighten the mood. He so hated to be the bearer of bad tidings. "All those times you came to the tower, I never thought to ask where you made your home."

Nancy shrugged and released Brutus. She'd never seen that dog be so friendly. She'd gotten him as a _guard_ dog, but apparently he wasn't good for that either. "Cap doesn't live too far from here." she commented. Anything to break the awkward silence. "But I've always liked the smaller cities. I'm not a big fan of D.C. myself. So... um... what's up?"

Thor sighed again. He had so much courage on the battlefield. Why could it not follow him into these situations? These times when he had to be gentle and calm. Nevertheless, he had to tell her. "I remember those days vividly, you know. Those times you came to _study_ Loki."

Nancy smiled at the remembrance. It had been almost a year since she was last in Stark Tower. "Yeah. Too bad Stark caught me. I never got to say goodbye. I mean, I was there when you took Loki back, watching from one of the buildings nearby, but I would've liked to say it to his face."

At that moment, realization struck. There could only be _one reason_ for Thor's visit. To offer his condolences for the death of a friend.

"Oh," Nancy fell back against the nearly door-frame. "They didn't... he's not... oh... _is he_?"

Thor stood to his full height. The dog should be appeased now, having had his full share of attention. So he turned his attention back to Nancy, staring down into her wide eyes. He managed a slow nod. "Not by judgment or sentencing." He added the last part to make her feel better. To let her know that it was not the people of Asgard who had done Loki in, but himself.

Nancy's breath caught in her chest. Loki... was dead. She staggered over to a chair and sank down into it. "How?" Her voice broke as tears formed in her eyes.

He should have known she would ask. The most curious of women, and he had thought she would leave it rest as he told it. Thor's shoulders slumped and he lowered his voice. "By protecting me and Jane, both." His eyes slid closed as he remembered the horrendous moment. The very second his brother's skin turned blue and icy.

Despite her efforts to stifle them, tears began to stream down Nancy's cheeks. "How noble." she managed quietly, "I knew he wasn't all bad. I could tell, just from looking at him. I could tell. He had _good_ in him." She lifted her hand to her mouth, trying to keep herself from crying. "I just wish I'd been able to see more."

"He could have been a great man, one day. If he had allowed himself." In an effort to bring some modicum of comfort to Nancy – and himself, he would admit – Thor moved to her side and placed his large hand on her arm. "I _am_ sorry."

"He promised he'd come back. He _promised_."

"He did not expect this. No one did." Her tears echoed the aching of his own heart, and Thor could no longer ignore their common pain. He slid one arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his embrace, bringing his other arm up to rest his hand on her hair. "No one could have foreseen the Dark Elves' monster."

A monster had killed him. He'd fought in the battle against the Dark Elves and a monster had killed him.

Nancy buried her face in Thor's shoulder and allowed herself to sob. He was the only person in the universe who could understand her pain. "Are you sure?" she pulled back and looked up at Thor, trying to recompose herself, " _Quite sure_ he's gone?" She just couldn't believe it. Maybe, somehow, he had escaped.

"I held him in my arms. I watched it. Jane was there, too." Thor swallowed, hard, and blinked at his tears. He had shed tears already for his brother and his mother. He needed to be strong for the woman before him. But, it was difficult.

Nancy's heart sank farther. He really was dead. Another sob escaped her lips. "I don't know why I'm so bothered by this." she admitted, "I only met him a few times. But, in those times, we had... such a connection." She shook her head. "I can't explain it."

A soft smile graced Thor's lips. He knew. Even if no one else did, he knew. This woman, this Nancy, could have been a second chance for his brother. And yet, no one else had seen it in her. "You studied him. Anyone who has seen the better side of Loki falls under the spell of his charm."

Nancy smiled a little, remembering how charming Loki could be. Like when he moved her hair from her shoulder. Or allowed her to stand with him. When he calmed and spoke civilly. When he seemed more...human. In those times, he was charming.

She sniffed again and pulled out of the hug. "Thank you for telling me, Thor. I would've never known otherwise."

"'Tis the only reason I came. I thought, after what I saw during your time with him, that you would like to know." Thor straightened again. He knew when a woman wanted him to let her grieve in silence, and he sensed that in Nancy. He took a single step back to allow her some room.

"Do you... do you think the little time I spent with him mattered in _any_ way to him?"

Though he wanted to say yes, that Loki had cared deeply for her as she had cared for him, Thor knew better. He glanced down at her with an apologetic expression. "I am afraid Loki's thoughts are his own. I know not what he pondered when alone."

Nancy nodded sadly and stood. She needed to be alone. Alone to grieve and gather her thoughts. "I'd invite you to stay," she began, leading Thor to the door, "But I don't really feel up to it right now. I'm sorry. But I do appreciate you telling me."

"Of course." Thor stopped at the door and turned one last time to see the woman he would have gladly accepted as a sister. "I do apologize for being the bearer of bad news."

"I'd rather you tell me than someone else." Nancy forced a smile and hugged him one last time, knowing that now she'd never see him again either, "How are you handling it?"

Thor rested a reassuring hand on her head and smiled down at her sadly. Surely she could see his pain was hers. Surely she knew how much their common bond meant to him. "I will recover. Someday."

Nancy nodded sadly and pulled away again. Mechanically, she forced another smile and closed the door behind him. Just as mechanically, she slipped down the wood of the door until she was sitting at the bottom.

Slowly – gradually – the shock set in...

Loki was dead.

He was never coming for her.

He had died in battle, killed by an alien monster.

Loki was dead.


	13. Chapter 13

Agent Nathan Harper cautiously slipped his hand under the conference table, quickly becoming bored of Agent McAllister's lecture. She was currently in the process of rambling endlessly on the importance of identifying subtle differences between regional dialects. It was beyond boring. Carefully timing his glance downward, Nathan quickly depressed the power button on his phone, turning it on. Surely McAllister wouldn't notice him sending a quick text. She was too busy boring them to death. As Nathan booted up his phone, he quickly glanced back up at Nancy. Good, she hadn't noticed. She was too busy explaining something to Susan.

With a grin, Nathan glanced back down at his phone. It should've been done booting up by now. But, instead of the usual welcoming image of his dog, Maggie, and a code prompt to grant him access, a series of quickly scrolling 1s and 0s flooded his screen. He knew exactly what it was: binary. His phone was being hacked.

Nathan quickly leaned forward and began messing with his phone, becoming panicked.

"Harper?" Nancy asked, finally noticing him, "Everything okay?"

"No." Nathan stood up and shot for the computers, "My phone is being hacked. And I got this phone from S.H.I.E.L.D."

In an instant, the three female agents also had their phones out. On all three screens, binary coding flowed freely.

"Quick, girls. Check the computers. All of them." Nancy darted for her station as Susan and Martha split up to check the remaining computers. As each booted up, binary-covered screens quickly filled the room.

"Oh, no." Nancy whispered under her breath, "No, no. This isn't good."

"Wait! I've got something!" Nathan called out, motioning the others over to his screen. But, before anyone could move, the word on his screen quickly jumped to the others:

 _HYDRA_

Nancy's mouth gaped open and the girls glanced fearfully to each other. HYDRA had infiltrated the system.

"I swear," Nathan called, lifting his hands in surrender and pushing away from his station, "That wasn't me."

"Girls, go stand with Nathan." Nancy ordered, making her way over to the glass door. She quickly bolted it – although a lock on a glass door wouldn't help much when confronted with bullets – and went back to her station. Strapped to the underside of her desk, a handgun rested in its holster. She quickly removed it and handed it to Nathan. "Whatever happens. Don't let them take the girls. There are six shots in there. Make them count."

"But what about you?"

"Don't worry about me! Go find cover."

Nathan nodded and ushered the girls over to the corner, letting them cower behind him. They'd never signed up for this. All this action and threat. They were _linguists_. , they'd been through the training, but that was all fake. It was all textbook. This... this was real.

Nancy, meanwhile, stood her ground just inside the glass doors. If HYDRA wanted her team, they'd have to go through her first.

* * *

/

* * *

It didn't take long for the higher-ups to realize HYDRA had taken over. Sleeper agents were quickly rallied to action as chaos broke through the Hub.

Nancy set her jaw and willed her trembling body to still as she watched agents run up and down the hall. Her calm stillness seemed out of place among the madness. In the next room over, a gunshot rang out, followed by a scream. Susan shrieked.

"Shh. Keep it together, Lancaster." Nancy urged in a motherly tone, glancing back to where the two women were huddled in the corner. In front of them, Nathan stood tall and brave. A reflection of his older brother. "It'll be fine. I promise."

At that moment, Agent Victoria Hand stalked up to the glass doors, a group of heavily armed soldiers in tow. They had just come out of the next room over. "Agent McAllister. Open this door."

Nancy swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry, as she evaluated the situation. The most powerful woman in the Hub was standing in front of her, an armed guard behind her. Between them stood a wall of semi-bulletproof glass. Could one bullet penetrate it? No. Two? No. Thirty, all shot off at once? Yes. Most definitely. Did she trust Agent Hand? Under these circumstances, no. She didn't trust anyone. Then why had she given Nathan the gun? Because Nathan was her student and she knew his brother. His brother had nearly died for her. She knew Nathan would protect the others. Who else did she trust within S.H.I.E.L.D? Coulson. Hill. Director Fury. None of whom were here. So, who did she trust? No one. She trusted no one.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't do that."

"Agent. I believe I gave you an order."

"I realize that. I respectfully defy it."

"Ma'am?" one of the soldiers whispered to Agent Hand, "We could just shoot the doors open."

Hand shook her head and smiled. "No. I'll deal with this." She turned her attention back to Nancy. "Agent, who's in there with you?"

"My team, ma'am. Agents just barely out of the academy. Two women, one man."

"Ah." Hand stepped forward and swiped her ID through the reader by the door. With a calm smile, she pressed in a code and the doors slid open. "There. See how easy that was?" Step by step, Agent Hand descended into the lab. "Now, Agent McAllister, there's something very important I have to ask you." She was hardly a foot away from Nancy.

"Oh?" Nancy lifted her chin to combat her fear. "And what's that?"

"I've come to extend you an invitation. A _personal_ invitation. Since you started working here six months ago, you have done an _excellent_ job with your assignments and these recruits. You really are something. Something special. And I'd really like to keep you on. Join HYDRA, Agent McAllister."

Nancy glared into her superior's eyes. "No."

"Hm. I hate to hear you say that." Hand slowly pulled a gun out of a holster at her side and pressed it to Nancy's left temple. From the corner, one of the girls let out a sob. "Be careful what you say next, agent. I won't ask you again. Join HYDRA... or die."

"I already told you. No." Nancy spat, "Neither myself, nor any of my team, will join your cause." She stepped closer, closing the distance between them, and stood as straight as she possibly could. "We're agents, _S.H.I.E.L.D._ agents, and it would be an _honor_ to die in the line of duty."

"How touching." Agent Hand chuckled. "Too bad no one will know. We'll have all record of you erased by the end of the day. No one will ever remember Agent Nancy McAllister. Do yourself a favor, Nancy..." Agent Hand lowered her voice down to a whisper, "Don't be a hero."

Nancy closed her eyes tightly, suddenly thinking of one who _would_ remember. Well, he would've if he had lived. If he hadn't died in battle. But, he died bravely and with honor, protecting his brother. And that's how she wanted to die. Bravely. With honor. Protecting those she cared about most. It didn't matter if no one remembered her. Someone would. One day, someone would.

She opened her eyes again, glaring into the eyes of her enemy. "We will never bow to you."

"Oh? But isn't it so _easy_ to defy orders, Agent McAllister? Did you not interrogate the war criminal, Loki, while he was detained by Director Fury, _without_ prior authorization to do so?"

Nancy winced, suddenly confronted with her past. "Yes."

"Then are you not HYDRA already?"

"No!" she was furious now. How could they think that of her? "I will never join HYDRA! I am an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.! And despite my flaws and mistakes, I will remain loyal to my team, my country, and my family."

Hand chuckled. "Your family?"

"Yes. Because my team _is_ my family. _S.H.I.E.L.D._ is my family. And I will never bow to HYDRA."

Hand suddenly smiled brightly and clicked the safety back on her gun. "Good. We need more agents like you, McAllister. You have no idea how many HYDRA operatives I've shot or arrested today. Personally, I'm glad you're not one of them."

Nancy blinked. "What? You mean… you're not…"

"Nope. That was a test. You passed. And with flying colors, I might add. Well done." Hand glanced over at the others in the corner, inspecting them for any sign of wavering. After a moment, she judged them simply to be new recruits and probably too passive to have anything to do with HYDRA, and looked back at Nancy.

Nancy remained where she stood, her mouth gaping open. It was a test. It was all a test. "But… how did you know about what I did?"

Hand laughed. "Agent, we're S.H.I.E.L.D. We know everything. Everything… except how our worst enemy has infiltrated the strongest information gathering agency in the world. _That_ we had no idea about."

With a sad sigh, Agent Hand ushered her team out into the hall, preparing to scare a new batch of HYDRA agents out of hiding. As she reached the glass doors, she stopped mid-stride. A thought had occurred to her.

As much as she wanted this great organization to continue, Hand knew it would never be the same. If HYDRA could so easily place sleeper agents in plain sight once, they could do it again, despite any precautions S.H.I.E.L.D might take. On this day, S.H.I.E.L.D would cease to exist.

"McAllister." Agent Hand called, turning back to face her, "For your courage in the face of imminent death, you will receive a recommendation from me for any department you choose to work for. FBI, CIA, Homeland; it doesn't matter. Once you decide, let me know, and a hand-written review of your honorable time spent as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent will be in your hands within days. Thank you for your service."

With a nod, Hand walked on, leaving Nancy in a state of stunned confusion. She was being honorably discharged... from an agency that was crumbling to ruins. She turned to look back at her team, who were still trying to overcome the shock. No matter what happened, or what may happen, they were still her team.

Despite all her promises, Agent Victoria Hand never got a chance to write Agent Nancy McAllister's recommendation. She never made it out of S.H.I.E.L.D alive.


	14. Chapter 14

She knew she shouldn't be here. Back at the place where it all began. Back in this wasteland that had hardly mattered to her before. This dry, barren land had seemed so insignificant. Just another case. And then she'd seen the Bifrost residue. And then she'd met Loki. …and then she'd met Loki.

"What're we doing out here, Nancy?" Agent James Harper groaned, leaning his seat back, "We have to get to the airport before the team leaves without us. It's been years. The old thing has probably blown away by now. Or been buried with sand. Heck, we stay here much longer, _we'll_ be buried in sand."

"James. Cool it. I just want to take a few photographs to see if anything's changed." She kept her eyes on the horizon, a small GPS pinging in her peripheral vision. "You have your work, I have mine."

"Yes. How's that worked out for you so far, might I ask? Got you kidnapped and nearly got me killed."

"I never asked for you to save me."

"Hey, I don't care what division you were part of, we were on the same side. And I wasn't gonna let him take you."

"Says the guy who got blasted into a wall."

"Says the girl who got carried off like a piece of luggage."

Nancy gave a soft laugh and glanced at her lounging partner. The past few years had seen so much change. The collapse of S.H.I.E.L.D. Her employment with the FBI. Finding out James was being transferred to her unit, and then having him for a partner. They'd hardly spoken during their time within S.H.I.E.L.D. A few passing comments, a drink or two, that one fateful night. But she hardly remembered it. And, apparently, neither did he. But, now… now they were partners. Now they'd grown closer than ever. She was finally starting to feel normal again.

But, then… then there was that nagging feeling in the back of her mind. The feeling that wouldn't go away. She didn't believe that Loki was dead. Didn't believe it for a minute. He was a master of cunning and craft, the god of mischief and mayhem. He'd survived the Battle of New York, as well as a serious beating from The Hulk. How could one 'monster' defeat him? No… he was still out there. Somewhere. And she'd find him. If it was the last thing she did. Even if it was just to talk. She had to know. Why did he take her? Why did he _heal_ her? What was she to him?

James gave a bored groan, "Why do you need more pictures of that old hieroglyph?"

"It's not a hieroglyph. It's a rune that explains how the branches of the Yggdrasil are so intricately woven together. How the realms are connected. It's sacred."

"Don't tell me you actually believe that Egg-drazle crap."

Nancy flinched. "Yggdrasil. And, yes. I do. If it doesn't encroach too much on your one-on-one time with the inside of your eyelids." James already had his eyes closed.

"It doesn't. But just don't get too caught up with this, Nan. The guy's dead. He's not coming back. Try to focus on the living, alright?" He opened one eye and glanced at her. "Focus on what really matters. _Who_ really matters. You can't keep on like this, with your head up in space. Come back to earth every once in a while." He closed his eyes again and mumbled, "Stay up there too long, you're bound to fly off the deep end."

Nancy gripped the wheel tighter and focused on the desert sand around her. He'd never understand. Her need. Her desire. She'd never believe Loki was dead. Not until she was standing over his grave or held his cape in her hands. He couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be. She had too many questions that needed too many answers.

In the distance, she could see the dark engravings on the golden sand. She quickly pulled over and turned their black van off. "Stay here. I'll be back in a minute."

"No need to tell me twice. Just don't get sucked up by that thing, alright? I don't wanna be the one to tell Daniels you got abducted by aliens… again."

Nancy rolled her eyes and stepped out, taking a moment to gaze in wonder at the giant rune. A small smile started at the corners of her lips as she remembered her work with the runes before. How she'd run her hands over the burns in the sand and had taken photos when it was fresh. How she'd spent long nights studying this one, where Thor had landed, the second one, where the Destroyer had landed, and the last, where Thor and the others had gone back again. Back to their world of mystery and majesty. Back to the world where Loki lived and thrived, or so she believed. She had to believe. She had to.

She walked to the back of the van and pulled a small black box out of the backseat. Hidden inside were her camera, files, and everything she could possibly need to study the symbols. She opened it, carefully taking out her old photos of the interwoven patterns. Each rune was the same, burnt into the sand. Strange, how the sand could be scorched in such a manner without it turning into glass. To add to the mystery, the markings within the runes were alike. The same pattern, the same language, repeated throughout time and space. She'd been to Norway and seen where the round pattern was still burnt into the rock of the shore. After thousands of years – years of wind and rain, floods and frosts, earthquakes and erosion – the symbols remained, like the sparkling city of Asgard itself. Oh, if she could only see it. To live the myth. To become myth herself. But these were nothing but fleeting imaginations.

With a soft sigh, Nancy organized the photos back into their proper order and removed her camera from the box. Her favorite DSLR. She'd never go on an expedition without it. Especially if she knew she'd be taking photos of symbols that needed translating. With a quick swipe to clean any dirt or fuzz from the lens, she was off, marching towards the great circle in the middle of the New Mexico plain.

After all these years, it was still there. In pristine condition, too. Like James, she'd supposed the wind would have covered it over with sand by now. Or the rain would have washed it away. An engraving in sand was vastly different than one carved into rock. Well, except for their one similarity… they had all been carved by an Asgardian. Perhaps it was magic that held the symbol in place.

Nancy snapped a few quick pictures, making sure she captured the whole symbol just right. She'd study it later for any slight changes it might have undergone. Any changes could mean the language was changing. Or perhaps the magic was wearing off. She couldn't be sure, but perhaps the photos could tell her what she was looking for. Could give her a clue of how to bridge the gap between their worlds. The Bifrost was the great bridge, after all. Perhaps it led to an even greater gateway for her to use.

As she stood there, looking the giant ring over, her smile slid into a frown. She was so close. So close to him. Right here, right now, in this very moment… this was as close to him as she'd ever be again. He was lightyears away from her, and yet… and yet they were so close.

Without more than half a thought, she walked out to the center of the ring. Nothing happened. She sat down cross-legged, as she had every time she sat down before him. Still, nothing happened.

"Are you there, Loki?" she whispered into the air, "Are you still alive? You promised. You promised you'd come back. Please… still be alive. I'm waiting for you. I told you I would. I kept my promise… now you keep yours. Come back to me."

"What're you doing?"

Nancy jolted and turned to look at James. He stood outside the ring, with his arms crossed, glaring at her with the same intensity a parent would give a child.

"Um… I'm testing the… magnitude of the wavelengths… to see if the solar radiation… damaged the patterns."

"Uh-huh. Come on, heartbreaker, before your crazed alien _does_ come back. Lord knows I'd love him to. I owe him a fist to the face in exchange for the blast he sent at me."

Nancy blushed at his bluntness and stood. Was her obsession so obvious? She turned slowly, looking at the swirls around her feet. She'd been so close. She still was.

"Nancy." James held his hand out to her, his voice soft and coaxing. "Come on. We'll be late for our flight."

Images of the day she was kidnapped suddenly flashed through her mind. She saw him standing by the door, gun in hand, reaching for her. She saw the blue bolt of energy, and James slamming back into a thick metal wall. She remembered her screams at the thought that her friend had been killed in front of her. And then her guilt that had kept her away from his hospital room.

Involuntarily, she slipped her hand into his. He was right. She needed to get her head out of the sky. Loki wasn't coming back for her. She just needed to realize that. He was a crazed super-villian. What was she to him?

James softly kissed the back of her hand as he led her out of the circle. "This time, I'm driving."

* * *

/

* * *

Eight hours later, Nancy found herself sitting in James' car in the parking lot of her apartment complex. Her duffle bag waited for her in the back seat.

"I'm glad we get to work together, Nan. I enjoy having you on the team."

Nancy blushed slightly and smiled. "Me, too. I'm glad, too. We never got to work together enough in S.H.I.E.L.D."

James turned and smiled at her. "You look tired. You sure you don't want some help inside? You haven't slept well in days."

"I know. I'm looking forward to my bed." Nancy opened the passenger's door and set one black boot down on the pavement.

"Nancy." James began, placing one hand on her arm, "Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night? We have all night off to recover from the case. I know we're not supposed to have relations with our partners, so it won't be that. Just two friends having dinner. We could go out or stay in. It really doesn't matter. Whaddya say?"

Nancy glanced down, considering his offer. She had grown so fond of him since joining the FBI, where division and rank didn't matter as much as it had in S.H.I.E.L.D. She liked his company and his humor. And, he was one of the few people who seemed to understand her. He knew what she'd been through in S.H.I.E.L.D. He knew the pain she felt at the loss of the agency… he felt it, too. She really thought she could be happy with him, if she allowed herself. But still… still, there was the possibility… that maybe Loki would come back. Maybe he would keep his promise. Maybe he was still alive.

"I'd love to." She heard herself say. In an instant, she had her satchel—with its new and improved zippers—around her torso and her duffle over her shoulder. "Good night, James."

"Good night, Nancy."


	15. Chapter 15

Loki studied the plain wooden door, every grain of it. Gold-plaited lettering displayed a single letter and single number. 4E. Yes, this was the place. The place where his disobedient obsession made her home. He had found the address in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files, and even if he hadn't he would have easily felt her aura about the place. It only took a flick of his wrist to unlock the door, then he stepped inside and let the door close and lock behind him.

Her home was... quaint. Small. Very like her, the old things and new together. He had little trouble believing she laid her head here.

As he made his way into the front room of the abode, a black creature stood from the sofa. It jumped down and bared its teeth at Loki, growling menacingly.

Loki raised an eyebrow and studied the creature. A dog, if he remembered correctly. He had never liked dogs, especially those who thought they could stand up to him. This one seemed to desire to guard something in the home. Certainly not its master, for Loki could tell she was not there. There was no loud talking or yelling.

The creature barked once, snapping its jaws at Loki.

Oh, so this creature wished to threaten him? Loki chuckled and took a step closer, not even concerned about the poor animal's threats. They would do no good.

As Loki approached, the creature lunged at him, aiming for his throat.

With one arm, Loki whisked it away to the bottom edge of a piece of furniture. Suddenly, green fog appeared around the creature and engulfed it. Loki smirked. "Sleep now, little creature." He would kill it, but that was not his purpose in coming here.

It whined once, then dropped to the ground, unconscious.

With that same grin still in place, Loki left the creature sleeping and made his way into the room. He inspected the photographs on the walls, the belongings scattered at various places, and the eclectic furnishings. All interesting. All so... her.

He stepped into her bedroom next, taking extra time to inspect all she kept close to her. Every preference she had when it came to lighting, furnishings, even fabrics. Everything would help when trying to paint a full picture of who she was. In understanding her.

Having taken in all he could take in, he made his way back to her living area, checking doors as he went to ensure there were no more creatures or tricks. His hand stilled on a knob that would not turn. Interesting. Why would she leave a door locked in her own home? No other doors had been locked. So why this one?

Loki smiled. A guilty secret? He certainly couldn't pass up this opportunity. He teleported inside, sure to leave the door exactly as he had found it.

The wall was covered with... him. Oh, this was priceless. Pictures of him, most taken from S.H.I.E.L.D. security videos. Clippings from books of mythology. Various maps with routes charted on them. And all related to him.

He chuckled softly and stepped closer. "And she says I find _her_ intriguing."

He glanced around the room again, trying to think where to start. Where would she have started? Unable to resist, he stepped to a mythology clipping and read the story. A story of him, from Norse mythological books. He shook his head. "Well, that's incorrect."

He scanned various other papers and maps, realizing quickly she had done all this in a vain effort to try to get to know him. To understand him. Well, he could oblige her desire to understand him. This only solidified his plan in his own mind. At the same time, he could help her to understand herself. Because he knew what it would take, and he alone was willing to go that far.

With a wide, evil grin, Loki returned to the living area and settled himself into a chair. He would wait for her return. And then he would put his plan into motion.

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy gave a tired sigh as she unlocked the door, her emotions swirling and her thoughts racing through her mind. She liked James. _Really_ liked him. Now that they were part of the same division, even worked on the same team, she had grown to favor his company over others. But, still... she had hope. Maybe Loki wasn't dead.

She quickly shook her head to correct herself. No, Loki _was_ dead. He was never coming back and she had to move on with her life. She had a good job, new friends, and even a potential relationship. She was finally allowing herself to be happy. It was time to move on. And she knew exactly how she would start: by tearing down the images and charts in her office.

"Brutus!" Nancy called out as she flipped on the light, "Brutus Maximus!"

She stopped off in the kitchen to throw her satchel and jacket over a dining-room chair. Well, the duffle may as well go there, too. She'd unpack tomorrow. As she stood with her back to the rest of her home, the sound of silence reached her ears. Usually, Brutus would be all over her by now. But everything was quiet. Too quiet.

Nancy slowly turned and saw why her beloved pet remained silent. He lay unconscious at the foot of the sofa. In the chair across from him, she saw the cause.

Loki had returned.


	16. Chapter 16

Nancy's breath caught in the back of her throat. "You're... alive." she breathed.

"Of course. I said I would return." Loki shrugged noncommittally. Had she not expected him? Her wall of Loki spoke otherwise.

"But, Thor said you'd died. You died in battle. He held you in his arms. How are you still alive?" Nancy remained absolutely still in her kitchen, half-frozen somewhere between fear and bewilderment.

Something clicked in Loki's head. Of course Thor had come back to tell her his brother had died. Thor was the only one who had seen their interactions. So of course she had assumed Loki would never return. It all made sense, but she should have known better. All the same, he would teach her better. He smirked and offered only a vague explanation. "Magic, pet."

His words snapped her out of her stupor and she timidly took a few steps forward. "Is that what happened to Brutus? Magic?" She sighed heavily and stooped down by her dog. "I really liked him. Can you fix it?"

Loki shrugged at her again. She thought he would give things just because she asked? Obviously she had learned nothing from her research. "I am unsure how long it will last."

Nancy's eyes widened. "So you mean he'll be like this _indefinitely_?"

"Theoretically..." Loki looked up at her, dead serious. How much did she really care for this creature? "Yes."

Nancy growled and stood up to her full height. "Now, you listen here, buddy." She stepped forward, quickly closing the distance between them. "You have some nerve! First you barge into my home, take over like you own the place, and then you knock the creature _most dear_ to me unconscious indefinitely! Ha! Fix him!"

"I said 'theoretically'. I am sure he will recover." Loki allowed the smirk to return, if only to egg her on. She had no idea what he had done to the creature, she just assumed he would leave him like that indefinitely. That said much about her opinion of him. "Just not while I am here."

Nancy huffed and tuned back to the sofa, flopping down on it and letting her dog remain where he lay. She'd had the longest day ever and she absolutely refused to let this maniac ruin her relaxation. She quickly took down the bun she'd had her hair in – it was giving her a headache – and tussled the stands to let them fall back into place.

"So..." she began, finally looking up at Loki again, "What're you planning to do with me?"

Loki shook his head. So many questions. She always had so many questions. Could she not sit still and quietly and let the matter reveal itself in due time? He studied her with new interest. "You always wish to know more than I am willing to tell."

"And you have a nasty knack for being vague and cryptic." Still trying to get comfortable in Loki's looming, uncomfortable presence, Nancy unbuttoned her suit-coat and shrugged it off, revealing her white dress shirt. "Are you going to harm me?"

"So many questions." Loki raised an eyebrow, once again surprised that she would think such a thing of him. And, really, how could she be so comfortable in his presence that she would take down her hair and draw attention to it? "And posed to a ghost, no less."

Nancy leaned back and grinned at the thought. Maybe he was a ghost. Maybe she was just hallucinating. Strange visions and dreams could be symptoms of a lack of sleep and over-caffination. "Are you a ghost, Loki?"

Loki stood and leaned over her, pinning her with one arm on either side of her shoulders. "Am I? Perhaps just wrought from your imagination." He leaned closer, until he hovered a mere inch from her face. "I heard your begging from the Bifrost site."

Nancy grinned back at him. "Oh, did you? Is that why you've finally decided to make good on your promise to return? You simply heard me and... remembered?"

Typical of her naivete. To think that he had come simply because she had asked it. She really knew nothing of how he worked, did she? Loki chuckled softly. "You speak too often and do not think through your actions or words." He straightened then, tired of playing a scare tactic she wouldn't respond to. He moved past her. He hadn't seen her kitchen yet, and surely there was something worthwhile in there.

Nancy watched him saunter toward her kitchen, still in amazement that he was even alive. And now, just when she was getting her life back in order, _now_ he chose to show up. She looked him over as she watched him, noting every detail. His shining armor seemed out of place in her small apartment. He seemed to be a figure lost in time. And yet, somehow he seemed to control the whole room, without even trying.

Loki found the stone countertops to be intriguing. And cold. The sensation felt good against his skin as he ran a finger along it. "Why, _Nancy McAllister_ , do you think a villain returns for his prey? Or, if you prefer, nemesis?"

Nancy leaned forward, tilting her head so she could see him better. "Is that what I am to you?" she asked, genuinely wanting to know, "A nemesis?"

"Do you not remember the battle? One agent alone with her enemy?" Loki clucked his tongue. She was so interesting. To think that she had forgotten those exchanged words... "Do my words fall on deaf ears?"

"No." she immediately replied, standing, "I remember."

Nancy joined him at the counter and leaned against it, still studying him. How could he think of her as an enemy? If anything, she was the closest thing to a friend he could probably ever have. He was S.H.I.E.L.D's enemy, not hers.

"I just... I don't think of myself as your enemy is all." she paused, frowning, as she thought about the answer to his question. "To kill it." she finally stated, "In reply to your question, the only logical reason for a creature to return to its 'prey'... is to kill it." Sad realization fell upon her as she stood there beside him. "I thought you better than that."

"Shall we test that theory?"

Nancy gave a sad, bitter laugh. "Aren't we already?" She motioned around, showing him how utterly trapped she was, like a mouse trapped in a cage with a snake, waiting for the snake to strike. "I bet you could kill me right here if you wanted and no one would hear a sound."

"Oh, but what fun would that be?" Loki smirked. Let her think he would kill her. Right here, right now. It would do her some good to worry for once, instead of assessing how he would react. "No. I've always been one to toy with my prey."

So, he was planning on killing her. Like the snake he was, he'd mesmerize her first, then he would strike when he got bored. Just when all hope seemed to vanish, she remembered something. One word that had plagued her for months.

"But... what about...?" she sighed and trailed off, knowing it was a futile effort. Perhaps she'd simply read too much into that word. It never meant what she thought it had. Nancy shook her head and looked at him again. "Could I show you something before you kill me?" Her voice sounded weak and timid, even to her own ears.

A shrug sufficed to portray the emotion he wanted her to believe of him. "And, what about _what_?"

Tears began to gather in her eyes and she looked away, not wanting him to see. "That... that term you used to use. 'Pet'. You used to call me 'pet'. It's a term of endearment... usually."

She shook her head again and led him over to her office. She hardly cared what he thought of her investigation into his person. It's not like it mattered anymore anyway. What she wanted him to see was far more important.

Nancy quickly unlocked the door and flipped on the light, illuminating the small room. Along the far wall and the wall closest to her desk, various pictures of him, maps, stories, and other miscellaneous information were plastered into a systematic collage. Across from her desk, along the empty wall, shelves upon shelves of books and papers stood in even rows.

"I promised you that I'd wait for you." she explained, motioning to the far wall, "And I did. I searched everywhere for you." She slowly stepped in and leaned back against her desk, staring at something posted to the wall by the door.

Loki raised an eyebrow and stared around the room. The room of him. Yes, this shrine to his imposing presence. He did wonder how it all got there and why. But he would never allow her the satisfaction of asking."I _have_ seen this. Is there something specific you wish to address?"

"This." Nancy pointed to three framed degrees on her wall. Her pride and joy, hanging proudly where she could always look up and see them. They hung as a symbol of her success. Of her passion. "A Doctorate of Linguistics from S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy, a Masters in Psychology, and a Bachelors in criminal justice." Tears began to stream from her eyes as she stared at them. Everything she'd worked so hard for... meant _nothing_ now.

"Yes. Impressive, I suppose. A learner." He tore his eyes from the wall to look at her. A sudden thought crossed his mind. A new intrigue to his plan. "Are you a quick learner?"

Nancy shrugged and crossed her arms, still staring at the degrees. "When I need to be." She sniffed and brought one hand up to wipe at her tears. "If all we are is an accumulation of our past achievements and failures," her voice broke, "then what am I? At thirty-five years old, _who_ _am I_?But a... a bunch of... books! Books crammed into one person! Knowledge. Knowledge that I'd only _begun_ to pass on. Nothing more." A stifled sob escaped her throat.

Loki bobbled his head, pondering her disturbing outlook on life. He sighed. "Is there a point to your theory?"

With a shuddering breath to regain some sort of composure, Nancy looked up at him again. "Were you afraid when you nearly died? Did you fear death?"

"It is a subconscious instinct to fear death, no matter what race you are." Loki furrowed his brow, thinking. He had feared death. When he fell from the Rainbow Bridge. When the monster beat him. When that monster ran him through. He shook his head to clear the disturbing thoughts. No matter.

Nancy gave a small smile at his scientific response. It was a comforting thought, despite its coolness. In a way, she knew it was a round-about way of saying he had.

"Will you have a drink with me?" She wiped at her tears and took another breath to calm herself, "A glass of wine to take the edge off. I should be allowed one last drink before my demise."

Yes, alcohol to calm herself, and a lengthy drink to stall. It was a wonderful idea.


	17. Chapter 17

Loki was taken aback at this sudden offer, but he handled it well, his shock never showing on his face. "A strange man invades your home and you ask him to share a drink?" He laughed. "You are incredibly trusting. And terribly naïve."

"Any other man I would have drop-kicked to the ground." Nancy admitted, "You're not a stranger. And I never said I trusted you."

Loki followed her to her kitchen and stood on the other side of her raised counter.

Nancy carefully pulled down two wine glasses from where they hung, grabbed a half-empty bottle of wine, poured them both a glass, and set the glasses down on the counter. She leaned across the counter, grinning, as she moved his glass toward him.

"Are you familiar with the game of chess?"

"Very." Loki smiled at her, seeming very relaxed. He remained standing, but Nancy took a seat on one of the bar-stools.

"I'm afraid I'm not very good at it." she admitted as she sipped her wine, "I was in a game once, where all I had left were two pawns and my king. The enemy was closing in fast. It wasn't Checkmate, but I wasn't going to win either. Tell ya what, let's play a game of chess. This wine is my first pawn. This knife," Nancy paused to open a drawer and remove a large kitchen knife. She placed it on the counter in front of her. "Is the other." She looked at him, making sure she had his full attention. She wanted him to know she was stronger than he assumed. She wasn't stupid by any means and, in addition, was fully armed... even if he could easily disarm her.

Loki watched her as she put the things before herself. Yes, he had played chess. He won chess, every time. No matter how he did it. He motioned to the items. "Finish the metaphor."

Nancy picked up the knife and turned it over in her hands. "I know the way you fight." She explained, "Not even bullets can stop you. The only place where you don't have armor…" she pointed the knife at him, pointing at his neck, "Is your throat. But you'd disarm me before I could strike." Nancy turned and put the knife away, knowing it would be useless against him. "I only have one pawn now, and then I'm dead. But I'd like to finish my wine first." Her smile never faded as she lifted her glass to her lips.

Loki nodded and motioned to the wine. "By all means."

"One thing, first. We never finished our conversation in Stark's tower. If I'm going to stall, I'm going to stall."

Loki sipped on his own wine. "Of course. Far be it from me to interrupt."

Nancy sighed, her smile fading. After all this time, after all she _went through_ for him, he still didn't want to talk to her. "That's just it. I _want_ you to talk. You'll go on and on to everyone else, but you'll hardly say two words to me. Why?"

Loki quickly formed a new plan of attack. Ever used to changing with the wind, it wasn't a hard decision. "If this vexes you…"

"I never said it did." Nancy shrugged. "I just feel like I'm doing most of the talking." She paused. "You were right, back at the tower. When you said I entered because I wanted to learn how your mind works." She glanced down, blushing. "You fascinate me. I know there's more to you than you let on."

"Then I propose an offer."

Nancy looked back at him. "Alright. What is it?"

Loki nodded to her glass. "For as long as your wine lasts, I will answer whatever you ask of me."

"We could be here all night." Nancy said with a smile. She took a moment to think. "Why did you call me 'pet'?"

"Oh, first let me tell you my term."

She sighed. "Of course there's a catch. Fine. What's the term?"

"After each query, you must take a sip. You did not believe I would truly allow you endless curiosity, did you?"

"No. Of course not." Nancy smiled sadly and glanced at her glass. It was only a fourth of the way full. "But first, I think I'll change into something more comfortable. My work clothes are nothing to die in." She stood, already planning her next move. "Excuse me for a moment."

As she walked to her room, she paused in her small hallway, taking the time to glance over the photos on her walls. Pictures of her parents, who were so proud to have an FBI agent for a daughter. Pictures of her friends and colleagues. Smiling faces lit up her home, but those smiles hardly mattered anymore. They were fading memories now. Her life was nearly at an end, like sand so easily blown away.

With a sigh, Nancy closed her bedroom door behind her and locked it, not that a lock would stop Loki. She could only hope he would wait patiently for her. She took off her gun-belt and looked at her hand gun. Bullets could protect her from crazed serial killers and insane criminals, but not from the super-villain Loki. What was she doing, really? Who did she think she was, trying to study him? Toying with a magical god. She was asking for trouble. And now trouble had come for her. She'd welcomed it with open arms, but stood trembling before her fate.

A small notepad rested on the nightstand beside her bed. A journal of night-time dreams and ideas. Hopes and aspirations that would never come true. She flipped to a new page.

 _Anita,_

 _Don't miss me. Whatever you do, don't miss me. Be strong, for the both of us. I love you, sis. I always will. Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry._

 _Nancy_

It was short, quick, and to-the-point. She knew more explanation was required, but she neither had the time nor the room to explain. In an instant, she lifted the page to her lips, kissed it, put it back down, and turned for her closet. Loki was waiting and she was running out of time.

Nancy took a pair of jeans and an old blue t-shirt out of her closet, changing into them as she looked over the rest of her clothes. White dress shirts, dark-blue suit-coats with matching pants and skirts, splashes of color here in there in the form of day-clothes, all took up residence in her little clothes' nook. At least what she had on was comfy, if nothing else. It was the comfiest outfit she owned, except for her pajamas. And she would _never_ go out there in her pajamas.

She also took out her contacts. No way was she having another dry-eye episode in front of him. The first had been too awkward. Instead, she opted to wear her glasses. Rectangle frames that weren't meant to be pretty, just efficient.

Nancy glanced over her reflection in her bedroom mirror, noting the dark circles under her eyes and her scattered hair. She definitely didn't look spectacular, but here she was all the same. At least she'd lost a bit of weight since the last time she'd seen Loki. She had her training to thank for that. Always training, always preparing for this day. Now that it was here, all of it seemed in vain.

Partially satisfied with her appearance, Nancy made her way back out to the kitchen. She carefully returned to her bar-stool and looked at her glass of wine. She'd taken so long that he had more than enough time to poison it. Knowing that he was probably going to kill her anyway, she took a sip.

"Unwise to drink _before_ your query, pet." Loki said, smirking, as he sipped on his own wine.

"No, that's to make up for the question I already asked. 'Pet' still requires an explanation."

"I like it." Loki replied.

"That's it? You just like it?"

"I never said I had to answer in depth." He took another sip. For every one of his answers, he took a sip, also playing their little game.

Nancy took a sip of her wine to make up for her previous question. Her wine was going faster than she had hoped. Perhaps she should've taken longer changing clothes. She took a moment to think carefully about her next question. "What are you planning to do to me?"

"I'd rather it be a surprise."

They both took a sip.

"If I might make a request, if you are going to kill me, could you make it swift and clean? I've never been much of one for pain." Another sip.

"I do not relish the thought of a slow death, either." He easily matched her drinking pace.

Nancy smiled sadly. He was going to kill her. He was going to kill her and she was nearly out of wine. How had the wine gone so fast?

"Did I offend you, when I kissed you?"

"No."

She laughed softly and smiled. At least she hadn't offended him. "Did you like it?" Another tiny sip.

Loki took another sip and raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps."

Nancy smiled and blushed, turning away shyly so he wouldn't see. Only a swallow of wine remained in her glass. The same amount in his. She didn't have much time left, and she knew it.

"I'm glad I met you." she said quietly, finally looking back at him. "I know you're a super-villain, but I'm still glad I met you."

Loki gave an amused smile. "Was there a question in there?" He downed the end of his wine. Silly girl, having played his game so easily. She really had no idea what went on inside his twisted little mind, did she?

"No." Nancy admitted. She glanced at her glass again, suddenly realizing she was out of time. She didn't want this. Not yet. Not this soon. She was only thirty-five. A shaky breath escaped her lips. "Ya know, you try so hard to make your life something great." she began. "I wanted to help people. Catch the bad guys. Be a hero." Her voice broke as tears flooded her eyes again. "Get married. Start a family." Her hands were trembling as she tried to hold her glass of wine. "Thirty years. It's not long, is it?" Her last question. "You've lived for hundreds, if not _thousands_ of years. And all I get... are thirty-five. We try so hard…" Her tears were flowing freely now. "We all try _so hard..._ for nothing… nothing."

Nancy lifted her glass to her lips and knocked back the end of her wine. She swallowed and set her glass back on the counter. Trying to retain what little courage and honor she had left, she straightened and lifted her head, waiting for Loki to strike.

Loki picked the glasses up and moved them aside. "There is one thing you should probably know about my methods." He didn't look at her, barely acknowledged her in fact. That didn't stop a green mist as it began to swirl around Nancy. Invading her airways. Her mind. Leaping and dipping and dancing in a hypnotic rhythm.

"And what is that?" she managed, paralyzed with fear as the mist covered her.

Loki simply smiled at her.

Nancy could have tried to hold her breath, but she knew it wouldn't work. She would have to breathe eventually, which would allow the mist into her lungs. Instead of trying to fight it, she submitted to it. Soon, the mist grew thicker and heavier, blocking her view of Loki entirely. Her head began to swim and she felt as if she would faint. Her hands and arms began to tingle, like the feeling produced by laughing gas. Losing control on her body, Nancy slumped to the floor.

Loki squatted down next to her as she began to slip into unconsciousness. He studied her intently, a smirk revealing his perfect teeth. He lowered his voice to near a whisper. "I cheat."

Once Nancy was fully asleep, Loki scooped her into his arms. Strange, how easy it was. Transporting them both back to Asgard took mere moments, and Loki looked around the empty cell. Well, not empty anymore. This was to be Nancy's new home for the foreseeable future. Where he would test her and prod her and try her patience. Where he would mold her to the woman he knew she could be.

With a smirk, he gently laid her in the corner. Knowing better than to stick around inside and have her attack him when she woke, he stepped just outside the golden barrier and watched her. Just waiting for her to wake.

* * *

/

* * *

The next evening, James knocked on Nancy's apartment door, concerned as to why she wasn't answering her phone. They had a dinner date after all. How could she have forgotten so soon? He knocked a second time… then a third… then a fourth.

"Nancy? You there?"

He dialed her number again and could hear her phone ringing from the table beside the door. He knew something must be wrong; she always had her phone on her, no matter what. He'd known it was a bad idea to go back to the Bifrost site. Why'd he let her go back? Knowing her bad luck, she'd probably triggered another alien abduction. That silly woman.

In one swift move, James kicked the door open and strode inside, on guard and alert for any intruders. He moved stealthily along her walls, wishing he had his gun.

"Nancy?" he called, but the room was silent.

James peaked around the corner and saw the limp figure of her dog lying in a heap beside the sofa. He stooped to check on it. Good, it was still breathing. On the cushion of the sofa, he saw her black scrunchy, signalling that she'd taken her hair down. He remembered how she'd worn her hair up last night, since they'd been working a case. Of course she would have taken it down.

He moved to the kitchen next and saw the wine glasses. So, she'd had company. Someone she knew and felt comfortable enough sharing a glass of wine with. He moved to her room and saw her discarded work clothes. She'd changed. She'd gotten more comfortable. But, her bed was still made. Whoever the intruder was, they hadn't made it to the bedroom.

James moved to the final room, her office, and opened the door. Suddenly, he was confronted by thousands of images. Photos of Loki, taken from S.H.I.E.L.D. security videos. Pages from books of mythology. Maps with red strings threaded here and there across them. And then, right next to her desk… one yellow page attached to the wall, at eye-level. The words _I will be back for you_ scrawled in hurried handwriting. James turned and dashed from Nancy's apartment, heading for the stairs as quickly as his legs could carry him. Loki had come back, and he'd kidnapped Nancy again.

"Stark Tower, this is Felicia, how may I help you?"

"This is agent James Harper with the FBI, former agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I need to speak with Tony Stark _immediately_. This is an emergency."

"I'm sorry, agent Harper, but Mr. Stark and the Avengers are out on a mission. If you'd like to leave a message, I'll have him get back to you as soon as he gets home."

"But this is _important_! I need their help! Agent Nancy McAllister, also a former agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., has been kidnapped by Loki."

"I'm sorry, agent Harper, but Loki has been reported and confirmed dead. If you still require the help of the Avengers, there's currently a six-month waiting list. If you opt to be put on the list, you will receive a call from one of our consultants, within the order your request was received. The consultant will go over your case with you and determine if it is worth the Avengers' time. If the consultant deems the case worthy, your case will be placed on another waiting list. From there, in the order it was received, one of the Avengers will review your case and determine if you truly need the help of the Avengers. At that time, one of the Avengers will contact you if they deem your case worthy. Now, agent Harper, can I get your address and a working phone number for you, so we can get the paperwork started to file your case?"

But agent Harper didn't answer. He'd already hung up.


	18. Chapter 18

Nancy woke a few hours later, her head pounding. She couldn't remember what had happened. The last thing she knew, she was... in her kitchen, having wine. Then... then there was the fog. Green fog.

With a soft groan, she opened her eyes, only to be blinded by the white lights above her. She quickly and instinctively closed them again.

 _Where am I?_ she thought, still groggy, _Am I dead?_

She tried to open her eyes again, still blinded by the lights, and slowly sat up. Across from her, a large opening in the wall glowed with a golden tint. Around the edges, the gold intensified. She blinked at it. Another, to her left, separated her from a darkened area, just outside her room. No... this wasn't a room. It was a cell. A bright, white cell.

Slowly, Nancy stood to her feet, staggering a bit from her dizziness. Unable to regain her footing, she was forced to lean against the closest wall for support. Outside her cell, Loki stood with a slight smirk on his face, clearly amused with her struggles to regain consciousness.

"Where am I?" Nancy croaked, her voice hoarse from sleeping. Carefully testing her balance, and wary of Loki's close proximity, she slowly approached the steps leading down to the barrier. With the same careful and precise movements, she reached out her hand and hesitantly touched the barrier. Gold light shone around her fingertips. "Loki, what's going on?"

"I allowed you to study me to your heart's content." Loki smirked widely, basking in her confusion. "Now it's my turn."

Nancy gasped softly, realizing the tables were turned. Now _she_ was the subject of endless inquiry, completely at the mercy of a madman. "What are you going to do to me?"

Loki shrugged at her, his smirk unwavering. It was time she learned her place. Learned what it meant to be studied. "Everything."

Nancy stepped back, more fearful of him than she'd ever been in her life. "Please don't do this." she begged softly, "Please."

"No, no. Relax, pet." Loki moved away from the barrier and turned to leave. "I will return."

"No!" Nancy called after him, running to the barrier again. He couldn't just leave her like that, trapped in a cage on an alien planet. She pressed her hands against the barrier as if she could force her way through it. "Don't do this! Loki, please!"

But her pleas were in vain. He was already walking away.

With a sigh, Nancy turned from the barrier and glanced around her small, empty cell. She tried to tell herself she'd been trained for this. Put through simulations and training exercises. Tortured as much as the government would allow. But those were simulations. She knew she was really safe back then, that help would come if she was truly hurt. Now... she was alone. Completely and utterly alone. All hope rested in the hands of a lunatic... the lunatic she had stalked. All of this was entirely her own fault. Her own actions were crumbling down on her head.

Nancy curled up in the corner of her cell, waiting for her hell to begin. But, she wouldn't go down without a fight. No, she would always put up a fight. Even to her dying breath. "I don't care _who_ you think you are!" she screamed, unsure whether he'd actually left or not. At this point, she didn't care. She would kick and scream and cause a fuss until _someone_ heard her. "You're not a 'god'! You, _Loki_ , are a cowardly little boy! Denied by his father and hiding behind silly _magic tricks_!"

Loki spun back and instantly returned to the barrier. "Hiding? _Hiding_?! I assure you, I am not hiding. And, yes, I was denied by my father – both my fathers – but that does not define me." He stepped closer, passing through the barrier and entering her cell.

As he entered, Nancy stood to face him. She stepped forward, glaring, as the distance closed between them.

"As for being cowardly," Loki continued, "I assure you I am not. Has anything I've ever done seemed cowardly? No? I thought not. I do not know who you think _you_ are, but despite all you say, I _am_ far superior to you in more ways than one and you are _not to_ -"

Fed up with his superiority complex, Nancy slammed her fist into his jaw, silencing him. How dare he insult her? And to her face no less! How dare he think he was above her? He was just a man. A man with magic and a stolen throne.

"Listen here, windbag." she seethed, "Your words don't scare me. _You_ don't scare me." She stepped closer, defiantly hovering her face mere inches from his. "You're mortal, the same as I am. You can die. I know that for a fact. The only reason you're even still alive is because of your..." she shoved a finger into his chest, " _Alien blood_. That's _all_ that differs you from me. So stuff your empty words up your ass and act _civil_. Or is his High and Mightiness too proud to come down off his high horse?"

Loki bellowed a curse and reached out a single hand to capture both her wrists. It wasn't hard. Her small bones were fragile and thin compared to him. He could snap her if he truly wished it. "I will teach you what happens when you speak to me in such a tone," he hissed. "With such words." One good yank sufficed to drag her along behind him. Out through the barrier. Toward a hall seldom used for prisoners.

Nancy snarled and kicked at his legs, twisting and thrashing in his grasp. She leaned over as much as she could while being dragged along and nipped at his hand, unable to get a good enough grasp on his skin to do much damage. Every time she tried, she nearly stumbled from being pulled so roughly.

Of course. Leave it to the outgoing Midgardian scientist to try to injure him. Well, he knew how to win a battle. He pulled extra hard on her wrists, which easily pulled her off balance. It would have to do for now. Until he could make it to his destination, just at the end of this hall. The flogging room. If anyone deserved it, this woman did.

Nancy stumbled forward and missed a step, sending her crashing to her knees. She continued to thrash in his grip, rolling around on the ground as he continued to drag her. "Let me go, you bastard!" she spat, then added with extra emphasis, "Ha! Literally! You're nothing but an outcast!"

Enough. Enough words and lies and arrows. Loki spun on her and pulled her close by her wrists. With such ease it surprised even him, he buried his free hand in her hair and clenched his fist around the mass of red locks. "Speak another word and your punishment will worsen by a hundred-fold."

Their faces were in such close proximity. She couldn't help herself. Nancy spit directly in his face. Well, she hadn't _said_ anything.

The sardonic woman no doubt thought she could get away with spitting on him. After all, she hadn't _spoken_. Outraged, Loki gripped her all the harder. Both wrists and hair. She would learn to obey him, and she would learn it quickly, or he would do so much worse than simply flogging her.

Loki pushed her toward the flogging post. He only released her at the last second, and used a single burst of green magic to bind her hands above her head. At least then she could no longer scratch and hit. He pressed his fingers to the spot on his cheek where she had hit him. That act renewed his anger ten-fold. Loki eyed her shirt. Flimsy Midgardian fabric that would bend to his every whim. He dug both hands into the material at the back of her neck and ripped it from top to bottom. He turned from her exposed back to select a long, thin reed.

"You'll never win!" Nancy snarled, thrashing wildly. She swung her legs up and pressed her feet against the post, trying to use the leverage to push herself off. "I don't care what you do to me! You'll never break me!" Try as she might, she couldn't free herself. So she simply kicked behind her, hoping to land a blow to his lower parts.

This wouldn't do, Loki thought to himself as he turned around. With all her movement, she would no doubt incur more injuries upon herself than he hoped to give. He needed a controlled environment. Fine. If she wanted it that way... Loki sent more green tendrils of magic to bind her feet to the floor and hold her middle completely still. One quick flick of his wrist made the reed in his hand whistle and pop. Perfect.

"You _will_ obey!" He slashed the reed across her delicate skin once, watching the welt redden and rise.

Nancy cried out as the reed made contact with her skin. "Never! I'll never obey you! I'm not your dog!"

Loki changed directions and lashed her again. "You _will_ submit!"

She cried out again, this time opting to remain silent. She tried to struggle, but his magic held her too tightly. Tears formed in her eyes, more from the betrayal than the pain.

"And you _will_ tame your tongue!" Hot tears burned at his eyes. Loki hated that she held the ability to make him cry. He brought the reed across her back again.

Her cries became sharper as the pain intensified. Quietly, but harshly, she whispered, "I hate you." A sob escaped her throat, fueling her rage. "You beast!" she screamed, as loud as she possibly could, "You monster! I _hate_ you!"

How dare she? He was no more beast than Thor and no more monster than Odin. He wouldn't allow a mortal to say such things about him. In a blind rage, Loki brought a lash down on her once more.

This time, Nancy shrieked from the pain. Her cry quickly dissolved into sobs as angry tears streamed down her face.

Loki lifted his arm to hit her again. But, he couldn't. Because this—this very thing—made him into the monster Asgardians told their children about at night. It made him no better than his biological father. And it would only serve to make her hate him all the more.

Loki tossed the switch aside and fell to his knees on the hard floor. The sound that came from his lips was more animal than man. Half a scream and half a roar that emitted all his hurt and anger. It lingered in the air and echoed around the stone walls.

Nancy flinched at the sound. "Go ahead!" she retaliated, venting her own rage and hurt, "Scream! Louder! All your cries mean _nothing_! I hope you rot in hell, you _poor_ _excuse_ for a man!"

This time, Loki swallowed the rage that built up, begging him to lash out again. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't hurt her because she told the truth. He was a monster. He had taken her from all she knew. To what? He said to study her, but really he only wanted to know how she would react to a new environment. Like a mouse in a lab cage.

Loki let his tears run silently down his face as he lifted his eyes. Angry red lines ran back and forth across her exposed back. Red welts glared at him and laughed at his excuses. Above all, she trembled head to toe. Unable to move and yet she shook. He had caused that.

Nancy shivered and shuddered as she waited for the next blow to land. But it never came. All was still and silent. Too silent. She held her breath and listened for him. "Loki...?" she asked, her voice trembling. She tried to move again, but she was still bound fast. A small whimper escaped her throat as she listened for any sign of what he might do next.

He couldn't let her hang like that. Alone and frightened and without a friend. He had to do something. Loki stood and took two steps closer, until he could reach out and touch her injuries. He pulled his hand back before he touched her. She couldn't possibly want him to touch her, especially after that, but he couldn't help himself. He reached out again and skimmed the tips of his fingers across the welts.

Suddenly, Nancy felt his freezing fingers brush over her wounds. "Please!" she cried involuntarily, "No more." She hissed in a breath. "Please."

Loki swallowed. She was in pain. So much pain, with no end in sight. He flicked a wrist, releasing the magic from around her. Releasing her to move again. Even if she did punch him, he deserved it.

As soon as she was released, Nancy dropped to the floor, her legs giving out under her. Weakly, she scrambled away from him, as quickly as the welts would allow, and stared up at him, her eyes wide with fear.

Loki sighed. This entire encounter was counter-productive. He wanted to study her, not kill her. Not frighten her like a small, lost animal. He looked her over, from head to foot, and realized she still trembled. Because she thought he would do this again. He shook his head. "No more."

Nancy nodded a little, still not trusting him, and slowly curled her knees to her chest. Her shirt hung off of her in tatters, threatening to expose her front, and was only held in place by her knees. She shivered slightly from the cool air on her bare back.

He couldn't very well allow her to return to her cell like that, exposed skin and frightened demeanor. Even as much as he liked the soft peach of her flesh, she only tried to cover it. A fact he would honor. For now. Loki flicked a finger or two, and the shirt began to knit itself back together. One broken thread at a time. He met her gaze to see her emotions. If only she could forgive him. If only they could begin again.

Nancy winced as the fabric of her shirt slowly crept up her back, touching the welts as it went. She looked up at Loki and watched him, reading his expression. He was frowning, his gaze clearly showing signs of remorse. Tears still stained his cheeks and reddened the whites of his eyes. He was sorry. He hadn't meant to hurt her. At least, not that badly. It was evident from the look on his face and the scream he'd emitted. He'd simply let his anger get the better of him.

"You can't control it, can you?" she whispered, still gazing into his eyes.

She had caught on rather quickly. One of the many things he found intriguing about her. The shake of his head barely registered, a brief flinch that said so much more than words. "Come. I will find a salve for the wounds."

A flinch. A slight shake of his head that told she was right. He hadn't been able to control his anger. Still, she remained where she was, still wary of him. "Why are you helping me now?" Her voice still shook, barely louder than a whisper.

"Perhaps my mood has changed. Do you wish to be prodded and pulled again?" After all that, would she still test him? Would she still disobey every order he gave her? Loki narrowed his eyes, assessing her.

Nancy cowered back, thinking of him dragging her again. "No." She slowly stood, wincing as the fabric of her shirt brushed over the welts as she walked. She stopped a good distance away from him, fearful of his motives. He could change moods so quickly.

Of course his reaction had only heightened her fear. Well... this could work out well in the future. He could use it to his advantage. But, for now, he supposed he should show his true remorse. Loki reached out and cupped a hand around her elbow. Between her fright and her pain, she would require him to escort her back to her cell.

Nancy followed him obediently, taking her time, but still trying to match his pace. This time, she was at leisure to glance around her. The prison – that was obviously what this place was – had stone walls and floors, mirroring the dungeons of old castles. With the age and erosion evident on the stone work, she had to guess this place had been around for centuries. No... longer than that. Eons. This was an Asgardian prison.

As she walked, she glanced around at the other inmates. Cold, dead eyes glanced back at her, if any of them glanced up at all. They were all lounging around in the cells, their own wills broken long ago. Not wanting to become like them, Nancy turned her attention to Loki again. He deserved an apology. She had hurt him just as much as he had hurt her. An apology was the least she could do... and the most human.

"I'm sorry for those things I said." she whispered, studying his face for some reaction.

What did one say to that? He had never been good at either giving or accepting apologies. He sufficed with a small nod and lead her back through the barrier. He reluctantly released her elbow, as he was certain she wouldn't want him to touch her any longer than necessary.

She turned to him and gazed into his eyes. He looked so hurt, far more than she'd ever seen before. All she could do was try to remedy her mistake. "I don't hate you."

Loki smirked. "Good." Then he realized his blunder. That would only heighten her fear. Brainwashing required a bit of trust, and he needed to build it. He turned a hand through the air and a small container of salve appeared in his palm. He looked to the girl to gauge her reaction.

Nancy studied the small jar of salve. She knew she couldn't put it on herself. She would need his help and he knew that. Maybe that was his plan all along, to force her into a state of need. Nancy looked to his eyes again. No... he was only trying to make amends. "Will you be gentle? It still stings."

Good. His plan had worked. "I will. Lay down, pet."

A small smile crossed Nancy's lips. There was that term of endearment again. She'd much rather have him call her 'pet' than have him beating her. Hesitantly, she stretched out on the floor. "I didn't mean all those things I said." she explained, "I was angry, and I guess I have a bit of a temper, too."

Loki slid both hands under the back of her shirt and lifted it away from her skin to move it. He made sure neither his fingers nor the fabric touched the welts as he settled it up near her shoulders. He dipped three fingers into the salve and gently stroked it across the red marring her skin.

Nancy gave a hissing gasp as the cool gel touched her skin, but then closed her eyes as the pain began to recede. She blushed slightly from the feeling of his hand on her back. For so long, she'd only drempt of him touching her like this. But, no... she couldn't think such thoughts. Such thoughts were dangerous. He couldn't possibly think of her as anything more than an animal to study. He was only tending to her wounds. But, still... the sensation felt so good.

Loki smirked despite himself. A blush? That was certainly what he saw on her face. His smirk extended into a smile. This study could be more intriguing than he originally thought. A blush meant she thought things. And felt things she probably shouldn't. He slowed his strokes and made sure to be gentler. Just to see how she would react.

Nancy couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped. A slight smile spread across her face. "That really isn't so bad. Mm."

Oh, yes. This could be grand fun. She seemed to be... enjoying herself. Loki's smile widened even further. He rubbed in more salve than necessary, just to hear her slight sounds of happiness. Eventually, he knew he could stay no longer without arousing her suspicions. He gently slid her shirt back down over her back and stood.

Nancy slowly opened her eyes and glanced up at him, reluctant to move. She was far too comfortable. "I expect you're leaving again?"

"For a time." Loki put the lid back on the salve and flicked a wrist to restore it to its place. "If you need more salve, send a guard to find me. They are not to touch you."

She nodded a bit in acknowledgment. "What's it like up there? I know we're on Asgard. I can tell from the technology and stonework. For so long, it's only been a story to me. A fairy tale. And now, I'm _here_. On Asgard. What's it like?"

"Glorious." And obviously something she wanted to see. Interesting. An idea began to form, and Loki couldn't resist this perfect opportunity. "I suspect you would like to see it."

"If you'd let me." Nancy moved a bit to fold her arms under her head, "I would like to, yes."

Loki smiled. A gentle smile meant to put her at ease. "Perhaps. In time." He couldn't stay any longer. Other things would demand his attention. He stepped through the barrier without a glance back. She would just have to wait.


	19. Chapter 19

The hours passed slowly as Nancy paced back and forth in her cell. She'd already sat through two changes of guards and was waiting for the third. If the guards on Asgard followed a typical guard-rotation schedule, each change of guards happened in six-hour increments. But, that was an earth schedule, where a day was composed of twenty-four hours, with four changes of guards a day. Perhaps Asgard ran on a different time schedule.

She walked to the barrier and studied it. It looked very modern compared to the stone of the prison halls. The bright white of the lights above her and the golden barrier itself both seemed to be powered by electricity. And yet, as she looked around, there were lit torches posted here and there around the prison, providing a little extra light. Electricity, yet the use of torches? What did that say about Asgard? They were an advanced race, yet clung to old customs. If it wasn't broken, why fix it, right? At least, perhaps that was the thought.

Nancy paced back over to the center of the room and continued in her circular walk. Asgard was both modern and medieval. If she was going to escape, she would have her work cut out of her. Not only would she have to find a way to disable the electric barrier, but then she could have to face the guards. From what she'd seen, they only carried swords and shields. But, they were trained warriors, and had most likely spent whole centuries training. Additionally, they were members of the king's guard, and had to be the best of the best of fighters. And here she didn't even have her gun.

"Idiot." Nancy sighed as she leaned her forehead against the cool, white-washed wall, "Well, you've gone and gotten yourself into this mess. What'll you do to get yourself out?"

"I honestly have no idea." she replied to her own question, "I suppose I'll just have to roll with it."

/

The next day was absolutely far worse than the first.

"Excuse me!" Nancy called to the nearest guard, "I'm thirsty. Could I have some water?"

He didn't respond.

"What about food? Surely there's a rule requiring you to feed the prisoners."

Nothing.

"Come on, don't you speak English? Loki spoke English. And so did Thor. Don't tell me they learned just because they're royalty."

The guard remained completely silent.

"Now, I _know_ you're supposed to feed us! I saw one of you distributing bowls of some sort of gruel yesterday. Did Loki order you to starve me? Is that it?!"

He still refused to respond.

With a growl, Nancy turned away. So, that was Loki's game. To starve her and make her beg. Another power tactic. Well, she wasn't going to fall for it. Even though she hadn't had a decent meal in days. Or even a decent thing to drink. While working a case, Nancy usually only drank coffee. Sure, she had the occasional bottle of water, but she needed the caffeine to keep her awake. And, when she'd finally made it home, she'd had wine. Three days on the case, and she'd only had, at most, four bottles of water. She could already feel the initial stages of dehydration setting in. The headaches, the weakness. But it wouldn't stop her. She'd keep fighting. Till her dying breath.

/

These bright lights.

Nancy rolled over and buried her face in the corner of her cell, trying to block out the brightness of the lights. It didn't work. So, she flopped her free arm over her eyes and prayed for sleep. (Her other arm was being used as a pillow and was currently her only body part to have found sleep.) After a while of tossing and turning, and trying to make herself comfortable on the cold, stone floor, Nancy finally managed a couple hours of sleep.

/

Two days seemed like an apt amount of time to wait before sending for the girl. Enough time to make her fret, but not so much she thought he had forgotten her entirely.

"Have her brought to me," He ordered one of his guards. "My secondary chambers. And I am famished. Bring dinner." Because he had plans, and they involved a hearty meal.

The guard bowed and turned on his heel. One did not disregard the orders of one's sovereign. He headed directly for the dungeons.

Nancy looked up from her place in the corner as a guard approached her cell. One of three possible things was about to happen: one, the guard was coming to free her and take her back to earth. It was the option she hoped for, but was the least likely. Two, he was coming to lead her away to be executed. Also unlikely, since Loki, knowing his power-complex, would most likely kill her personally. Or, three... Loki wanted her and this guard had come to retrieve her. It was the most likely option.

"Loki demands your presence."

Ah. She was right. Nancy stood and walked gracefully to the edge of the cell. The guard lowered the barrier and grabbed her arm.

"I know you're only doing your job, but there's no need to grab so roughly."she retorted. The guard remained silent.

As they walked up a large flight of stairs and out into the dimmed light of the halls, it took a moment for Nancy's eyes to adjust to the drastic change in light. Over the past couple of days, she'd grown so used to the brightness of her cell.

Once her eyes adjusted, however, she could only gape in awe at the wondrous architecture of Asgard. Grand, vaulted ceilings and archways, latticed windows, and towering columns all decorated the ancient stone passageways of the palace. Just outside the windows – she could only steal a peak every now and again as she was dragged along – was a vast city, with networks of roads and rivers. In the distance, mountains touched the sky. It was beyond beautiful. It was... as Loki had put it... glorious.

Within minutes, the guard led her to a set of large, golden double-doors. He knocked loudly to announce his entrance, then escorted Nancy through. Inside, Loki stood near a large table, stationed in the middle of an even larger room. On the opposite end of the room, a rather large bed stood near the windows, elaborately decorated in gold and green. The windows were latticed in places, with more columns leading out to what she supposed was a balcony. Golden, satin curtains blew softly in the breeze.

"Forgive my next instruction," Loki began, walking toward her, "But I cannot have you attacking my guards again. These are indisposable." He looked to the guard. Even he didn't relish this command, but it had to be done. "Tie her, hands and feet, to the chair."

"Wait!" Nancy began to struggle against the guard. "I won't attack them!"

But, try as she might, the guard was too strong for her. After her first hand was tied down, she calmed and allowed the guard to tie the rest of her limbs. It wasn't his fault Loki was a jerk. This guard was simply following the orders of his commander. She understood that.

With a deep breath to calm herself further, Nancy looked up at Loki again, waiting for his next move. Despite her initial struggle, she was suddenly as calm as if she wasn't tied at all. Of course, her training had helped. She wasn't in a life-and-death struggle. Or being beaten or tortured. It was best not to fight periods of interrogation. And that's what she assumed this was. That, and she wanted to conserve her strength. There was no use thrashing when she was already bound tight. She'd found out firsthand during the flogging that struggling against Loki would do her no good.

Loki took his seat and took his time to settle in. It didn't take a genius to note her sudden calm demeanor. He placed a napkin on his lap. "Well, don't you adapt quickly?"

"I try." Nancy replied, her voice quiet. Two days without water had left her mouth dry. She coughed to clear her throat, trying to retain some sort of decorum.

"Are you ill today, Agent McAllister?" Loki folded his hands in front of him, resting his arms on the table. She seemed too demure. Too subdued.

"Dehydrated." she admitted, "Humans can only survive so long without water."

"Hm. Interesting." He knew, somewhere in his mind, that humans required water and sustenance. He had not, however, known the length they could survive without it. Until now. Loki motioned to a guard. "Water, she may have."

The guard moved to pour Nancy a glass of water. As it poured from the brass pitcher into the waiting goblet, Nancy couldn't help the small whimper that escaped her throat. The clear, shining liquid looked so good. When the guard held the glass up to her lips, she tried to drink it slowly, but couldn't help herself. She was so thirsty. Water dripped down the edges of her mouth as she gulped, destroying any sense of decorum she'd had moments ago. An an instant, the glass was empty, and Nancy tried desperately to wipe her damp face on her shoulder.

"Thanks." she murmured gratefully.

Loki only smiled at her.

Soon, another guard brought in a tray laden with hearty meats and juicy fruits. He set it in front of Loki.

Nancy glanced down at the tray, noting each piece of meat and fruit. What looked like the breast of some sort of bird was paired with some kind of pulled pork. Giant grapes, round potatoes, and a bright, red apple also donned his plate. Finding that her mouth was watering, Nancy glanced back at Loki. "Will you allow me food as well?" Her voice sounded feeble, even to her ears. It sounded desperate, even though she hadn't meant it to.

"I haven't decided yet." Loki surveyed the foods and decided to start with the pheasant. Something sure to make her mouth water.

Nancy intently studied his eyes, trying not to look at his plate. "May I ask you a question?" she asked, her eyes never leaving his, "I know we don't have any more wine for our little game, but I still want to know something."

"You may ask." He took a bite of his food, then spoke with his mouth full, "Though I do not promise an answer."

Of course he'd talk with his mouth full. More to entice her. "What's the point of this?" she asked, her tone serious, "You must know I've been trained to withstand torture. Why drag me down here, just to watch you eat?"

"I've told you, pet." He shrugged. He had, and for her to doubt his sincerity in the matter irked him.

Nancy scoffed. Really? That was the _only_ reason he'd brought her to him? To _study_ her? Of course not. This was another show of power. Only, she doubted he'd admit that. "To study me." She slumped back in her chair. "Irony at its fullest. The one I've studied for so long is now studying me. In my defense, even the rats in laboratories get cheese."

"And even the Agent Nancy McAllisters in my care are provided water." Loki retaliated. She could continue to try to outwit him and out-logic him, but he knew better than to jump on her conclusions. He took another bite. "Tell me, how essential to mortal existence is sustenance?"

"Fairly. We can only survive…" She trailed off, thinking about her answer. She could lie and say only a few days, but if he already knew the correct answer, she could anger him. And she didn't want that. He'd already admitted once that he couldn't control his temper. No, she'd best not chance it. With a sigh, she decided to tell the truth. "…a couple weeks without food."

"Mm. Intriguing." Loki paused to sip his wine. Did he really want to make her wait that long? To bring her to the brink of starvation? He would have to think on it. He quickly changed the subject. "Now, on to other subjects. The things in your _office_. How came my face to preside most among them?"

Nancy blushed. She'd almost forgot she'd showed him. And it wasn't just that his face presided most there. It was a whole collage about him. A whole wall of maps, and stories, and dead-end trails. Her hunt for him. "They're _all_ about you, actually." she admitted, "Ever since Thor brought you back to Asgard, I've been looking for you. Waiting for your return. Waiting... for you to keep your promise."

"Why is this?"

She shrugged and glanced away, nervously picking at the arm of her chair. "I wanted to see you again. To talk with you again… to study you, in person, again."

" _Why_ , pet?" Loki leaned forward, studying her to see if she would show her true desire. "I know you watched during my hours in the Metal Man's prison. What deep desire drove you there to see me?"

Nancy looked down at her lap. He had known she was there. She wasn't just imagining it. But, perhaps the rest of her feelings _were_ imagined. The spark she thought she'd felt between them. The tension. Perhaps she'd imagined all of it. Tears began to form in her eyes as realization hit. She'd imagined the whole thing... and now she was alone, alone to face his wrath. "I don't know." her voice trembled. "I… I remembered seeing you on the ground, hurt and broken. You didn't have anyone. And then... then they locked you away. I only wanted…" She trailed off and shook her head, not wanting to tell him how ridiculous she had been.

"Only wanted _what_?"

"I didn't want you to be alone!" she shouted, whipping her head up and meeting his gaze again, "They locked you away like you were some kind of animal. Yes, you killed hundreds of people, but you didn't deserve solitary! You didn't deserve to be chained and muzzled! You didn't deserve that." Nancy's tears began to flow. "You are brilliant, regal, sophisticated. You're not like them. You didn't deserve to be treated like an animal."

Loki leaned back. Her words stirred a part of him he had long thought dead. Touched a part of his soul he had forgotten. Though, he could never let her see. He signaled to the guard that their meeting had ended. "Return her. We will speak again later."

"Wait! Loki, please!" Nancy begged, looking frantically up at her captor. The guard quickly untied her in a few swift movements and hauled her to her feet. "I'm starving. Don't wait until I'm almost dead." The guard began to drag her away, and Nancy struggled against him with all of her strength. She had no idea when she would see Loki again, if ever. She had to beg now, lest she perish later. "I stayed with you!" she called to Loki, "When no one else did!"

"Stop." Loki held up a single hand, sure to keep his voice commanding yet calm.

The guard halted in his tracks. Nancy stood there, panting, and stared at Loki. "I'm thankful for the water, Loki, I am." she pleaded, "But I can't survive on it."

"Thankful? Doubtful. You wish sustenance." He lifted his apple and stood from his chair. He tossed it up and caught it again, sure to entice any hungry human. "What will you offer in return?"

"What do you want me to offer?"

"No, no. I shan't give you an offer just yet. I wish to hear how you would negotiate."

She took a moment to think. What could she possibly give him? "You want to study me. Ask me any questions you want and I'll answer them truthfully."

"Then answer my question. What will you offer?"

That _was_ her offer. What else did she have? Secrets to S.H.I.E.L.D.? Very few. And, now that the agency was gone, her few secrets were useless. Besides, what would Loki want with S.H.I.E.L.D intel? No... she needed something else. What else? She had nothing else. "I have nothing to offer you. You're a prince, you already have everything you could ever want or need."

"Mm. Interesting." Toss and catch. "Then allow me to propose what you might offer."

"What would you have me do?" she whispered, her eyes wide. All she had left to offer was herself. And, now that he knew she desired him, he could play on that desire to his full contentment.

"Let us take a lesson from one of your Midgardian tales. One apple..." he held up the apple to demonstrate, "for one kiss."

Nancy gave a sigh of relief. Of course, the story of Snow White. When the princess ate the apple, the prince had to kiss her to bring her back. Only, this time, the story was reversed. She had to kiss the prince to get an apple. "Is that all? Yes, I think that works out well."

She looked to the guard, waiting to be released. The guard looked to Loki, waiting for his command.

Loki stalked across the room and shoved his hands behind his back. "You had better make it much better than the one from Stark's Tower." He leaned down, just far enough her lips could reach his, and waited. Far be it from him to sate her desire first. No, no, no. This was a test to see what she would do in such a situation. Because Loki needed to know.

Nancy softly pressed her lips to his, kissing him slowly and gently. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips, but she quickly dropped it again, not wanting him to see. As slowly as the kiss itself, she pulled back and merely hovered her mouth near his.

"How was that?" she whispered.

Loki smirked. An innocent. Never been touched, probably never been kissed. Yes, she would be fun. "We will work on your technique." He turned away, thinking harder on what he could do to bring her to her knees, and tossed the apple to the guard. "She can have that _only_ after she is returned to her cell."

The guard caught the apple and nodded once. He turned, taking Nancy on the long walk back to her cell. Once she was securely inside, he gave her the apple and raised the golden barrier again.

Nancy sat down in the corner and took a bite. Flavor exploded in her mouth, causing her to emit a small sound of pleasure. It was a delicious apple. Or perhaps she was simply hungry. As she ate, she couldn't help but think about the kiss. He'd wanted another one. Forget the fact that they were now on a trade system. He'd wanted another kiss. From her. A better one than she'd given him before. She blushed at the thought. And hoped he'd liked it.


	20. Chapter 20

Hours stretched on without end. She had to get out. She had to get home. Anita would be worried by now. James would have come by and seen that she wasn't home. Her only hope was in the possibility that maybe James had contacted the Avengers. It was a small hope... like a dwindling flame in a dark, damp cellar.

Nancy paced over to a small table near the barrier and poured a bit of water out of the thin, brass pitcher into a small, brass cup. She was only allowed half a pitcher of water a day, but at least it was something. Still no food, though. She knew she should've saved her apple. It had been days since she'd seen Loki. Days since she'd last eaten. With the constant brightness of her cell, she had no idea whether it was day or night, or how many days had passed. All she knew was that every morning and evening the prisoners were given a bowl of gruel. A bowl she wasn't allowed to have.

She set the empty cup back down and sat on the floor of her cell. With no other pieces of furniture, the only place she had to sit was the floor. In the cell across from her, a red-haired woman, clad in green, watched her right back. Nancy had watched her for days, noting every movement, as if she was watching an animal at the zoo. In fact, the woman had what looked to be a cone, just like ones used on sick animals, around her neck and over her mouth. Nancy had heard the other prisoners speak, and even the guards, but never the woman. Like Nancy, the woman sat in the corner of her cell, watching the world pass by. Her eyes had grown faded and hollow from her years of imprisonment. Her body was thin and wispy from the lack of sustenance.

Nancy smiled and waved a hand, but the woman only glared and turned away. She did not want to be bothered. Or noticed. Or imposed upon. How dare a woman favored by a royal dare to wave her hand at her? How dare a woman who could speak to one such as Loki dare give a friendly smile and thereby mock her? The woman turned around completely, turning her back on Nancy.

With a sigh, Nancy leaned her head back against the wall and wished for sleep. Sleep that would not come. The lights were too bright. The cell, too hard. Oh, how she longed to be home again in her nice, soft bed. How she wished she'd never started this mess.

* * *

/

* * *

Loki couldn't sleep, and it was all her fault. She haunted his thoughts, his dreams, places she shouldn't be allowed to invade. With a growl, he pulled his former muzzle from a drawer and studied it. Yes, that would do the trick. Make him feel in control again. He shot from bed and marched hastily toward the dungeons. He didn't wait for a guard to open the doors, just barged through them with a grand flourish. She would regret crawling under his skin.

He walked straight through the barrier keeping her in her cell and steeled himself to regain his advantage over her. "If I cannot sleep, then neither shall you!"

Nancy groaned and blinked sleepily in the blinding whiteness. She'd just barely gotten to sleep, too. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, fumbling around for her glasses with her free hand. "Why can't you sleep?" she mumbled, finally managing to secure her glasses on her face, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Neither do I wish to speak at this time." He produced the muzzle from where he had hidden it and studied it carefully. Did he really wish to put her through this particular torture?

Nancy's eyes widened. Oh, no. Not the muzzle. Anything but the muzzle. Flog her, starve her, make her die of thirst. Anything but the muzzle! "Wait, Loki! Please!" she begged, hastily standing and beginning to back away from him, "Think about what you're doing. I'm not the one who did that to you. I wanted them to take it off! I _begged_ them to. Please, don't do this. What have I done to harm you? I'm innocent! Please!"

Yes. He did wish to do this. "I _said_ do not speak!" He advanced toward her, ready to clasp the thing around her overactive lips.

Nancy quickly ducked under his arm and dashed around to the other side of the cell. She pressed herself back into the far corner, but stood ready to fight him if she had to. As he advanced, she put her hands over her mouth to keep the device from fitting. She struggled against him and turned her face away, but he soon succeeded in pulling her hands away from her face. She tried kicking him... only to find her leg pinned to the wall by his.

Loki leaned over her, doing his best to appear menacing, and easily strapped the muzzle around her face and head. She struggled, but that was easily remedied with a leg in the right place and a touch of magic. When he finished, he stood and pointed a finger down at her, accusing her of all she'd done to his head and heart. "Defiance will not be tolerated. When I say to be quiet, you _shut up_."

Nancy nodded pitifully. It was all she could do to keep herself from her quickly forming tears. The longer she remained in Loki's presence, she was finding, the more often tears would spring to her eyes. This wasn't what she'd wanted. At all. All she'd wanted was to be a friend to him. A support. The only person to show him kindness. And _this_ was how he repaid her. She whimpered and tugged at the muzzle in a vain attempt to pull it off.

"And you will no longer need these." Loki noted her glasses and snatched them from her face. "I like to see your eyes."

Nancy cowered back against the cell wall, trying to keep him from stripping her of anything else. He was quickly stripping her of all that she was. First, her words. He must have known how important her words were to her. Then, her glasses. He knew she couldn't see without them. Every move he made was deliberate… a deliberate attempt to hurt her.

In an effort to show her obedience, she gently grabbed his hand and held it close. She bowed her head and closed her eyes, surrendering to her captor. If he wanted to be her master, she'd let him. Anything to get him to stop this madness. Anything to get him to remove the muzzle.

Of course. Leave it to a woman to manipulate him into believing she was as obedient as a dog. He'd never liked dogs. He sneered down at her. "Yes, yes. _Now_ you claim loyalty. Well, pet, you will have to prove it." And he wouldn't let her off easily, either.

What more could she do to prove her sincerity? Did she have to grovel? Surely he wouldn't make her grovel... would he? With the state he was in, he probably would. A tear dripped down Nancy's face as she held his hand tighter, silently begging him to release her. She was once so strong, so bold. Reduced to whimpers and tears by an insane god.

With another tug at the muzzle, she unconsciously sniffed from her tears. It was then that she realized her mistake. She shouldn't have sniffed. With the muzzle clasped tightly over her mouth, forcing her bottom jaw closed, and her nose now stuffed, she had absolutely no way to breathe. Fear and panic struck at once, and she released his hand to pull at the muzzle with both of hers, frantically gasping for air as she pulled.

Oh, how it felt good to see her kneel to him. "I'll not give in. Cease your whimpering." Loki turned away before her tears could affect him and folded his arms. This was right. She had to know he was in charge. He stepped toward the barrier.

No. He was leaving. He was leaving her there to suffocate to death. No. She wouldn't let him. She would keep him there, with every ounce of her strength. If he was leaving her to die, then she'd make him watch.

Nancy quickly gripped his arm, digging her nails in, and tried to turn him to face her. Her gasps were audible now, with some air coming in through her nose, but her panic was too great for her to notice. It wasn't enough air. She couldn't breathe. She was dying and he would let her. Her free hand clawed desperately at the muzzle, still trying to get it off.

He spun on her, tired of her constant simpering tone. The sharp nails were a pain, as well. They hadn't managed to cut through his skin, but they annoyed him. "Can you not breathe, pet? Is that why you insist on vexing me with your cries?!"

Nancy let out a muffled cry and slumped back against the wall, already weak from starvation and becoming weaker from her lack of oxygen. She blinked, trying to stay awake, but her head started to swim. She began to lose consciousness… if not from the lack of air, then surely from the fit she'd worked herself into.

Loki rolled his eyes and tugged at her hair none too gently, pulling her head forward so he could reach the latch on the back. He loosened it a notch or two. He couldn't have her dying so soon. "You _will not_ lose consciousness. Is this understood?"

Now able to move her mouth enough to suck in some air, Nancy nodded as best she could and panted heavily. Even though he was pulling her hair roughly, she allowed herself to close her eyes and lean her head back against his hand. She would far rather have him pulling her hair than suffocating her.

Her hair felt good twined in his fingers, but Loki forced himself to release it and push her from his thoughts. He returned to the barrier to stew. At least he wasn't the only one who wouldn't sleep this night.

Finally able to think clearly again, Nancy watched him from her corner of the cell. How could he be so sweet and charming one moment, and then monstrous and horrid the next? As she studied him, she frowned behind her muzzle. He was hurting. That was the only explanation. His family had abandoned him, the mortals he'd tried to conquer had locked him away, and now... now he was all alone again. He was acting out of hurt and rage, taking it all out on the only one who'd ever cared for him. She knew he couldn't control his anger, and this new torture was an example of that. He'd probably had a nightmare and couldn't sleep, which led to his anger, which led to him taking out his anger on her. Yes, that was it.

Gathering her courage, Nancy cautiously stepped to Loki's side. Gently this time, she gripped his arm again, her touch soft and light. She knew he'd be angry when he turned, but she didn't care. This was something she had to do. When he turned to face her, she hugged him. Not strong or intense, but gentle and loving.

 _I'm here for you._ she thought, wishing she could tell him out loud, as she buried her face in his shoulder. _I know you can't control your anger. But I'm still here for you._

Now, that wasn't playing fair. She had to know how that made him want her. All of her. Loki restrained himself from doing anything foolish. She was here for scientific purposes only. He growled. "Release me, pet. _Now_." Just for effect, he narrowed his eyes, sending her a silent message that he was not to be touched without permission.

Nancy nodded once and backed away, bowing her head and folding her hands in front of her. She knew he was still angry, but that wouldn't stop her from trying to help him. But… knowing he didn't want to be touched, she went back over to her corner and sat down.

To be on the safe side, Loki placed the barrier between them again and paced. And paced. And paced.

Nancy continued watching him, his blurry, fuzzy figure moving back and forth before her cage. Without her glasses or contacts, she could only see a few feet in front of her. The outside of her cell was at least fifteen feet away, if not more, leading to her only being able to see the green of his tunic and the gold of his armor as he passed back and forth, in and out, of the flickering torch-light outside her cell. The scene was mesmerizing… hypnotic. As the gold of his armor caught and reflected the candlelight. Back and forth. Back and forth. Nancy could feel herself falling asleep again. Against her better judgment, she allowed her eyes to slide closed. Just for a moment.

"I said _no sleep_!"

With a gasp, Nancy jolted awake to find a sudden green mist swirling around her. As quickly as it came, it disappeared again, dissipating into the air around her. She looked up toward Loki, terrified of his magic and what he might do. She whimpered softly, begging his forgiveness.

Loki banged a fist against a nearby wall and stared her down. How dare she sleep when he could not? "That was a warning. Dare to disobey again and I will make it so you will not be able to close your eyes lest I give permission."

Nancy curled her knees to her chest, shaking with fear. She nodded enthusiastically, fully understanding his threat. He'd used the fog on her once, causing her to sleep for hours. Of course he had the ability to take sleep away completely.

As the minutes dragged on and on, once again, she could only watch as his figure moved to and fro in the light of the flame. Back and forth. Back and forth. Soon, Nancy found herself falling back to sleep. Every time she felt herself slipping under, she tried to jolt herself awake. She'd throw herself back against the wall, anything to keep herself from falling asleep. Anything. But it was a futile effort. Fifteen minutes later, her eyes slipped closed. She had no idea. In her mind – in her dream – her eyes were still open, and she was still watching him pace.

The green mist swirled again, progressively snaking from her feet to the top of her head. "I warned you." Loki twisted a hand and the mist densified until it shrouded her entirely. It climbed into her head and her mind, giving him the power to grant or withhold sleep. Then, finally, it disabled her function to fall unconscious. Lest, of course, he released her. Loki grinned evilly as the mist dissipated.

Nancy's eyes shot open and she groaned, realizing he'd made good on his threat. No matter what he told anyone else, he always told her the truth. And he always did what he promised to do. She was now completely awake, but retained her bodily desire to sleep. It was no use now; he'd already cursed her. With a sad sigh, Nancy leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, wishing for sleep but knowing it would never come.

Satisfied that she would not sleep now, Loki paced again. Occasionally, he glanced back to her, as she still would not leave his head. Finally, he decided it was only too much of a pain to torture himself with her, so he turned down the hall and started to walk off.

At the sound of his retreating footsteps, Nancy sat up again and looked around. He was gone. She stood and ran to the barrier, pounding on it as hard as she could and crying out as loudly as possible with the muzzle still clasped securely over her mouth. How could he just leave like that? Didn't he care that he'd not only left her muzzled, but without sleep, too! He was a monster! A total, complete monster. She cried out again.

Despite the twinge of... something... that knotted his stomach, Loki ignored her desperate cry and kept walking. He would not give in. He _was_ in control.

Nancy continued screaming, her loud, shrill cries echoing off the stone walls. How could he just leave her?

 _No_ , Loki told himself. He would not turn. He would not act like he cared, because he didn't. Really. He set his focus on returning to his rooms. To his nice warm bed. Yes, he would sleep now. He would shove her from his mind, because he was in control, and he would sleep. The dungeon door slammed behind him.


	21. Chapter 21

Loki woke within a few hours of falling asleep and stretched like a cat. Last night had been good for his need to be in control. Very good indeed. He checked the time and shook his head. He should probably take pity on her. So he pulled himself from his stupor and roamed the halls until he found the cells again. He stopped, silent, outside hers and studied every aspect of her. Every little thing she would never have shown him had she known he was there.

Inside her cell, Nancy sat with her head back and her eyes closed. Tears dried on her cheeks from the hours she'd spent sobbing. Softly, barely audible, she hummed a slow, melancholy tune. Anything to get her mind off her exhaustion. Anything to distract her from the humiliation. The woman in the cell across from her had spent the better part of the night simply staring at her, mocking her. At least the prince's pet had finally gotten what she deserved… silence. Bitter, cold silence. The one who prized and valued language so much had been stripped of her ability to speak. It would have been more merciful if Loki had simply ripped her heart out.

Loki smirked at the soft melody. This was almost as endearing as her kneeling before him. He had half expected to find her in tears. "Well, if you are so comfortable, perhaps I will return at a later time."

Nancy's eyes shot open when she heard him speak. She had no idea how long he'd been standing there. She quickly sat up and looked at him, shaking her head sadly, and beckoned him closer. She'd do anything to prove her loyalty to him. Anything to get him to remove the curse. The curse and the muzzle.

"Oh, are you giving the orders now?" He shoved his hands behind his back. Much more of that wide-eyed stare, and he just might obey. "How quaint."

Nancy quickly shook her head and dropped her hands into her lap. She bowed her head and looked to the floor, trying to show her obedience. She had to get him to believe her. To trust that she would do as he asked. She was so tired of trying to fight him. It wouldn't work anyway. And, at the moment, she was too weak from hunger and a lack of sleep to resist him.

Genuine obedience this time. Loki decided he liked it immensely. "Good. Because I think we both know who is in charge."

Nancy nodded slowly and stood, still not looking at him. She walked to the center of her cell and remained in her posture of obedience: head down with her hands folded in front of her. She had never felt so humiliated in her life. She was an agent. A strong, bold, witty agent. Reduced to begging, like a dog. Silently, she lifted a hand to motion to her muzzle, then folded her hands again.

Curious, Loki entered through the barrier. He stood over her, looking down at the woman before him and, just to spite her, he stated the obvious. "You wish something."

She nodded once, tugged at the muzzle to demonstrate that she wanted it off, then folded her hands again.

He chuckled. "You wish the muzzle removed more than you wish sleep?"

Well… that was a complicated question. She needed sleep, yes, and she was very tired, but she was also _very_ hungry. With the muzzle on, she couldn't ask for another apple or kiss him in return for one. And she had, after all, gotten some sleep the night before. Nancy shrugged, then finally nodded in response to his question. Yes, she did want the muzzle removed more than she wanted sleep. Her sleep could wait.

"Then perhaps I have not left you alone long enough." He took a step back toward the barrier, expecting some sort of reaction. Some form of begging or pleading or submission.

Nancy let her eyes slide closed and took a slow, deep breath. Of course her choice hadn't mattered. He would've reacted the same either way, whether she'd chosen to have the muzzle removed or to sleep for an hour. He was only toying with her. He wouldn't let her have either. She stood motionless as he backed away from her. She was his plaything. He'd said so himself, years ago. She could beg, and grovel, and cry as loudly as she could, and it would never matter to him. He was heartless.

She should have recognized that from the first day she'd met him. How childish to think that everyone had some good in them. How naive to trust her life with a madman, on the hope that maybe some part of his soul was kind. One tear dripped down Nancy's cheek, yet she remained motionless.

Seeing as how she didn't seem to care, Loki removed himself from the cell and headed for the doors. Surely that would provoke some sort of response.

And then… he was gone. Her livelihood didn't matter to him. Whether she slept or ate, he cared not. Finally reaching her snapping point, Nancy let all of her anger and frustration pour out of her in one long, piercing scream. Did he want to break her? Well, this was the sound. The sound of individual pieces of her soul shattering. And she wanted the sound to haunt his waking hours and echo through his dreams. She wanted him to suffer the way he was forcing her to. She wanted him to _feel something_.

Even with the response, her actions thoroughly confused Loki. He ignored her, holding to what he had said, and kept walking. She obviously hadn't been alone long enough.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, Nancy finally allowed herself to collapse to the ground. Sobs wracked her body as she curled into herself. This is what she'd asked for. This is what all her hard work had gotten her. She was the plaything of a psychopath. And, one day, she feared he'd eventually kill her. Slowly… by withering her down to nothing.

Loki fumed as he left the dungeons. Practically breathed smoke. He shook his head and swore to himself. "When will the girl make any sense?!"

/

About an hour later, Loki finally calmed down enough to take a nap. Two hours later, he sat bolt upright in his bed. He growled and tossed the covers off. Within moments, he was storming his way back down to the dungeons.

Nancy sat in the corner, humming again.

Loki reached Nancy's cell, strode in, and yanked her up by her hair. He quickly unclasped the muzzle. "A sane woman would not choose words over precious hours of sleep, so whatever you have to say, I suggest you spit it out now, before I change my mind."

Nancy glared at him, despite her fatigue, and was only kept standing by his fist in her hair. "I only wanted to ask you," she whispered, defiance lacing every word, "If I could sleep now." She really was growing quite tired from all her hours of sobbing. She could use a nap right about now. Having said her peace, she lifted her chin and braced herself for the muzzle again.

Loki glared at her, his curiosity not quite quenched. "Well, then I suppose we should continue a favor for a favor. Tell me, what will I receive this time?"

Nancy looked down, taking a moment to think. What could she possibly offer him that he would want? A kiss had sufficed last time, but she hardly felt like kissing him right now. She could beg and grovel, but her pride was still too great. Finally, she decided on her answer. She'd give him the one thing he'd always seemed to long for from her. "My silence."

"Oh? You think to wager with me for the relent of two things? For one meager one? Try again, my pet."

"No." He didn't seem to understand. She didn't want the muzzle off anymore. Well, she _did_ , but she knew she couldn't have both the muzzle and the curse removed. She had to choose. Since she had chosen to have the muzzle removed last time, and her choice had failed his insane test, she'd choose the other option. "Allow me my sleep and I won't fight the muzzle." she explained, "Favor for favor. If I die from thirst or starvation, so be it." And, as the day stretched on, perhaps she could ask for the muzzle to be removed later.

"You shall have to ask nicely."

Nancy finally made eye-contact with him again. And there it was… that strange softness behind his cool, outward glare. The smallest flame of kindness buried deep within his soul. How could she still see it? Even now, when he stood over her, taunting her and gloating in his victory… there was the dying light. The remnant of the kindness of his youth. Perhaps, over time, he had grown cold. Had frozen himself over in an effort to protect himself. To protect himself from the wounds and hurts his heart received. And now, though his ice pierced her soul… the dying flame remained.

Acting on pure impulse, Nancy pressed her lips to his, every fiber within her dying to taste of that flame. That kindness that he'd buried so deep. "Please, Loki." she whispered, her lips hovering near his and her breath still playing upon his lips, "Allow me my sleep."

"I did not ask for a kiss." He shook his finger at her, amused. He would accept it, but he hadn't asked for it. "Are we so quick to give favors?"

"It was part of my plea." Nancy protested, straightening, as she came to her senses and remembered her position as an agent. He was her captor, nothing more. He'd kidnapped her from her home. She had to remember that. The flame was not there. She'd only imagined it. He was testing her, studying her, as he'd said. She scolded herself for having such a moment of weakness. "My sleep means a lot to me. I want it back."

"Then ask properly."

She clenched her jaw and studied his eyes again. And there was the flame, this time in the form of a mischievous glint. He was playing with her. And if she was to sleep, she had to play along. "May I _please_ have my sleep back?"

"May you please have your sleep back… whom?"

Oh, for heaven's sake! Now he was just being mean. "May I please have my sleep, oh _great king_?" She nearly spat the words at him.

Loki chuckled. "Closer. I will accept it this time." He moved to put the muzzle back on her. "Be aware that the leniency lasts so long as you slumber. When you wake again, you will find yourself unable to slumber without my express spoken permission. Understood?" He finished tightening the muzzle.

Nancy nodded, knowing a little sleep was better than none at all. In as humble a show of gratitude as she could muster, she stood on the ends of her toes and leaned her forehead against his. She knew better than to try hugging him again, but she still wanted to show him closeness. Show him that she would play along, as well as she could, but that she'd retain her dignity, too. Well… what was left of it.

She closed her eyes and remained standing there with him, so close and yet so far away. If only they could stay like that, with both of them acting like civil human-beings. With her equal to him, and him to her. If only he could see her for who she really was, and not what he was trying to make her into. Finally, Nancy forced herself to turn away and returned to her corner of the cell. She laid down, folding her arms under her head, and waited for him to release her.

Loki sighed heavily and walked over to her. He leaned over her until his mouth was near her ear. Oh, so close. And yet so unable to get through to the heart of Nancy McAllister. He held back a great sigh. "I release you to sleep." He whispered, lightly placing his fingers on her hair.

Nancy gave a soft sigh of relief. She was finally free to sleep. But, this could be just another one of his tricks. He could only let her have five minutes of sleep before waking her again and leaving her like that. She remained with her eyes open, wanting to wait until he left to fall asleep.

Loki stood up straight and moved a few feet away, watching her from a nearby wall. He knew she didn't trust him, and she probably shouldn't. Yet, he longed to watch her peaceful face. A face he only ever saw when she slept. He would wait. She couldn't resist for long.

Nancy tried to fight sleep… but she was so tired. All of the physical and mental exhaustion of the past days suddenly seemed to hit her at once. Maybe, if she just closed her eyes for a moment, he would leave and leave her in peace. Against her better judgement, she thought she'd try it. Soon, she was fast asleep.

Loki smiled as he watched her eyes flutter closed. There it was. The resting expression of final peace. The loveliness of her face, untouched by the wrath he saw so often. Each curve of her cheek curving perfectly in the light. With a shake of his head, he strode out of the cell and returned to his room to prepare for the day.


	22. Chapter 22

Nancy woke a few hours later, her thirst causing her tongue to cling to the roof of her mouth. As soon as her eyes opened, she felt the sleeping curse flood her mind again. Any remaining residue of the foggy sleep that still clung to her mind was cleared away at once, leaving her wide awake, yet still exhausted.

With a sigh, she reached back and felt the clasp of the muzzle. It was a complicated tumbler lock. Definitely Asgardian in design. Even without the magic Loki probably used on it, she couldn't open it herself. So, instead, she simply tried to pull it off. Of course that didn't work. She only scratched her face.

And then she remembered her promise not to fight it. Well, she hadn't fought when he put it back on her… but it was too much to bear now. Nancy pulled at it again, struggling to get it off. It wouldn't budge. She clawed at the straps holding it to her face. Nothing. Tried to wedge her fingers under the silver piece that shoved her bottom jaw against the top. Nothing moved.

With a frustrated growl, Nancy stood and grabbed one of her boots off of the floor: one of the only objects in the small, well-lit room. She threw it at the barrier, causing the barrier to shimmer momentarily then return back to the clear, golden transparency. She gave a muffled angry cry, cursing whatever spell held her captive in this hell-hole, and tugged at her hair. There had to be a way out. There was always a way out. She clawed at the muzzle again, seeking some form of relief.

"Oh, dear. Are you this irritable every morn?" Loki shook his head. He watched from the corner of her cell, completely invisible until now. He had hoped to watch her longer, but he couldn't resist a good jab at her morning grumpiness. He smirked. "Or just the ones spent in my company?"

Nancy froze at the sound of his voice. He hadn't been there a moment ago. He appeared out of nowhere. In an instant, she let her hands drop down in front of her and resumed her posture of obedience. She'd broken her promise. Now, she had to do what she could to mend it.

"Oh, don't mind me." Loki continued, "I only wanted to observe how you act when you think I am not here." He motioned to her posture. So morose. So subservient. So... untrue. "I see your obedience is false."

Nancy closed her eyes tight as realization hit her. He would never believe her now. What little chance she'd had of getting him to trust her, she'd thrown away in a temper-tantrum. Her act of obedience—for it _had_ been an act—had failed.

With a sad sigh, she slumped back against the wall and leaned her head against it, looking up at the all-too-bright ceiling. She would never get out of here. She simply had to admit it. No con, gimmick, or act would ever set her free. Nancy slammed her fist against the wall, angry at herself for losing her cool.

Loki leaned sideways against the wall, watching her. An interesting way to handle the information. Acceptance? Or denial? Either worked in his favor, but Loki found he missed hearing her quick-witted arguments. Her hand must throb after that punch. However, she hadn't landed it to his jaw this time, and for that, Loki was grateful.

Realizing that all hope in ever getting out, in ever being accepted by him… in ever feeling normal again… were all quickly dying, Nancy slid down the wall until she was sitting at the bottom. She brought her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and buried her face in her arms, trying to block out the anguish and despair.

There was nothing else she could do. She couldn't even sleep without his permission. He controlled every aspect of her life, and she hated it. She felt so alone and unwanted, forever trapped in this cell.

But… but perhaps he _did_ want her. He had kidnapped her for a reason, after all. Yes, he'd wanted to study her. But, perhaps there was more to it than that. All the tension between them. All the desire. Had she alone felt it?

She looked up at Loki and patted the ground next to her, trying to signal to him that she wanted him to sit with her. Perhaps he would allow her that small form of comfort. She folded her hands together in a gesture of begging, showing that she was asking him to sit, not commanding him.

Loki crossed his arms. She may like words, but she got along well without them. Still, he liked to goad her. "You wish me to sit? Why, pet?"

Nancy shrugged. How was she supposed to explain that she wanted him close to her? That she hadn't meant to disobey him. She was still muzzled. But, her hands were free. Hand-signs. She hoped he would understand what she was saying.

She pointed at herself, meaning she wanted something, folded her hands together and placed them against the side of her face, meaning she wanted to lay somewhere, tapped her shoulder, meaning she wanted to lay on a shoulder, then pointed at Loki. She wanted to lay her head on his shoulder. It was her best chance of gaining some sort of comfort, while still remaining somewhat distant.

"I am not to be used as a pillow." He flatly replied, then shook his head. "Though I had brought you something."

Nancy tilted her head, curious. He brought her something? That was unlike him. To give her a gift… after she'd just proven her disobedience. She eyed him suspiciously. Knowing what she did about him, that he was not only the god of mischief, but was often portrayed as a king of snakes, he could be ready to throw one at her at any time. Ew. She _hated_ snakes. A classroom incident gone horribly wrong during her childhood had spurred a deep fear and avoidance of snakes in her. Wary of his motives, Nancy moved a bit closer to him. She had to be on guard around him. Especially when he was acting weird.

Loki produced an apple from behind his back and held it up so she could see it. "Since you are so particular about your need for sustenance, I thought perhaps breakfast?"

If there was one thing he had learned from the mortals, it was how to brainwash someone. A little abuse, followed by a bit of uncertainty. Not that he wanted to brainwash her entirely, but the project brought him some form of sick amusement. Even he realized it shouldn't.

Nancy eyed it hungrily, but was still apprehensive. Would he poison her now? No. He was having too much fun with her to kill her. She could see that in the way he looked at her. And she _was_ hungry. Starving. Perhaps he just wanted to feed her.

A smile slowly spread over her features behind the muzzle. She nodded enthusiastically, trying to show that she wanted it, no matter the price. This time, hunger would win out over safety. She stood and easily crossed the distance between them, tapping the muzzle as she did so. He couldn't possibly expect her to eat with it on.

Loki moved his hand back, holding his apple just out of her reach. He had underestimated her hunger, but no matter. It changed nothing. "Same favors as last time. An apple for a kiss."

So _now_ he wanted closeness? Of course. This time, he was in charge. Nancy blushed a bit and nodded once, understanding the terms. She motioned to the muzzle again.

Loki took a step closer and expertly removed the muzzle. He set it aside. Why had he ever dragged that darned torture piece out of hiding? It wasn't fair to anyone. Not to her, though now she understood his pain. And not to him, for it brought with it flashbacks and nightmares. He regretted it, but he wouldn't change his stance on it. With a sigh, Loki turned back to her, waiting for his kiss. It had better be a good one.

Nancy softly pressed her lips to his, kissing him slowly and gently, as she had before. As much as she hated to admit it, she adored the feeling of his lips against hers. And he probably knew that, too. Which is what made it a perfect weapon to use against her.

"What do I have to do to get a piece of meat?" Nancy whispered as she pulled away, "Protein is important, too." She reached for the apple.

Loki relinquished it without a second thought. The same kiss that had earned her apples before would earn her an apple now. "You are in luck." He addressed her with a smile, "I have just the favor for such a delicacy." Loki looked her up and down. She had thinned some, even in the past few days, but he had a plan to remedy that. He had a plan for everything. He grinned.

Nancy moved away from him and leaned against the wall. She took a large bite of the medium-sized apple, knowing it wouldn't be enough to fend off her hunger. She hadn't eaten in days and one lone apple would not be enough.

"What favor would that be?" she asked between bites. She didn't care how unladylike she looked. Now that she had food, she was going to eat it before he decided to take it from her. That would be a nasty trick to play, and knowing him, he would.

Loki didn't take his eyes from her. "I grow weary of these weak, shy kisses."

"Hey, I do my best." Nancy protested, "I'm not a tramp." She coughed, nearly choking on her large bites. But the goal was not to enjoy the apple. It was to get as much of it into her stomach as she could in as short a time as possible. Who knew when he was planning on taking it from her? And then… there was her hunger.

"I will provide what you most desire, meat. In return…" Loki let her draw her own conclusion, curious where her mind would take her. Yes, he had something he would propose, but he wanted to know if she would deduce what he desired.

Nancy stopped her ravage of the apple when he trailed off. She could guess what he wanted: a passionate kiss. The only trouble was… she didn't know how. "What if I told you… I've never really kissed a guy before? Like, _really_ really. I mean, there was this one I.T. guy in college, and a guy from the agency once, but they don't really count." She began to gnaw every last piece of apple off the core, remembering her old flings. Her sort-of boyfriend in college. Her one-night-stand with James, before any of this mess with Loki had started. She sighed as she looked at the thin core in her hands, thinking how desperate she must seem to Loki.

Loki barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. How to accurately express how fully he knew that? He weighed his options and settled on, "I would not be surprised."

"Hey!" Nancy snapped, "We all can't be royalty." She glanced down at the core again, her hunger nowhere near quenched. The core would be more vitamins. More juice. More fluids. If only a little more. And her body could filter out the cyanide of the seeds.

"You do not wish to know what the favor is then?"

"You want a passionate kiss." She looked up at Loki again. "In exchange, I get a piece of meat. I've just never given a _passionate_ kiss before."

"Do not assume, pet." Loki smirked. She had come close, but she hadn't quite discovered his true nature, had she? He folded his hands behind his back and studied her for a reaction. "I wish to teach you how. No arguments and no struggle."

"I thought you were going to do that anyway." Nancy retorted, starting in on the apple core. She bit off a whole half in one bite. At least the apple didn't have a stem.

What was she doing? Apple cores were not meant for mortal consumption. He didn't think it would hurt her, but the act betrayed her desperation. Loki quickly whisked the remainder of the core away from her and held it aloft. "Did you now? More assumptions?"

Nancy reached for the core, hopping on the ends of her toes in her attempt to reach it. "I spent my entire life assuming things." she explained, "Made my career out of it. Don't hate just because I know what you're going to say before you say it. Give me my apple!"

But, she didn't. Loki knew better than most how unpredictable he could be, and she didn't understand half of what she thought she did. He barely concealed his amusement. "And I am telling you to never assume anything with me. Perhaps I should ask for a different favor."

"No." Nancy sighed, forfeiting her apple, "No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. It's just… habits die hard, ya know?" She looked at him, locking her gaze with his. "I welcome the help."

"Good. Now, when would you like this meat?"

Nancy glanced up at the browning apple core. "Well, I'm still hungry and you won't let me finish my apple."

"The seedlings are not for consumption." Loki flicked a wrist. The core disappeared. He would find somewhere to throw it or give it to a horse later. Right now, he had other matters to attend to. "Payment in advance, pet."

She looked away from him, considering what she was about to let him do. Yes, he was going to use the kiss to gain more control over her, but she'd already lost so much control already. And, this would be her first real kiss. She blushed at the thought. There was no one else she'd rather kiss. Nancy looked back at him. "Then teach me."

Loki stepped closer and gently gripped her chin, turning her face to his. Nancy felt the hot blush on her cheeks intensify, and then her lips met his. His kiss was strong, yet gentle. Forceful, yet sweet. As he began to move his lips against hers, Nancy closed her eyes and sighed softly. She'd never felt anything like this before. This peace. This… trust. She let her hands wander up his arms, resting one on his shoulder, and burying the other in his hair. He sucked on her lip occasionally, drawing her deeper into the kiss.

After nearly thirty seconds of intensity, Loki finally pulled away. " _That_ is how it's done." He smiled down at her. He had known she could do it. Had known he would only draw her deeper into her fascination. And, Loki admitted to himself, he had enjoyed it.

Nancy blinked, panting, as she tried to recover from the kiss. Her heart beat fast in her chest and she willed it to slow. A small smile crossed her face, her blush never leaving. He'd kissed her. He'd really kissed her. And, despite her better judgment, everything inside of her screamed for one more. She wanted to feel like that again. To be able to trust him, for just one moment, again. She glanced to his lips, stepped forward, and kissed him again. For one moment, perhaps they could finally be equals. For one moment in time… they were.

Loki knew when enough was enough. He would go too far if she let him, at right now she might. She was not herself. She would probably regret this later. He still needed the control. Loki pushed her away gently. "Now, now, pet." He smirked. "Let's not be hasty."

Nancy glanced away from him, growing embarrassed from her actions. Of course she had to go and ruin the moment. "Right." She cleared her throat in a nervous gesture. "Sorry." She stepped away from him, wanting the sudden awkwardness to end. She glanced back once more, wishing she could go back to that moment. She'd give anything.

Loki stepped out through the barrier. He had felt her heartbeat as surely as he had felt his own. He had listened to her breathing, looked into her eyes. He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he had control over her. The control to make her want him whenever he so desired. Her obsession reached a place far deeper than his had.

Loki smiled to himself and raised his gaze to meet hers. "I will return later." As he marched out of the dungeons, he turned to his personal guard. "See to it a platter of roast boar is brought for her."

The guard nodded and went to order the meat from the kitchen staff. Loki returned to his kingly duties, albeit distracted. All afternoon, he couldn't stop thinking of her lips. Her trusting gaze. That kiss.

* * *

/

* * *

Half an hour later, a large platter of fresh roast boar was placed in the corner of Nancy's cell. She jumped to her feet and scurried over to it. The delicious aroma made her mouth water and her stomach rumble all the louder. Without another moment's hesitation, Nancy started in on the meat. Savory, succulent juices dripped down her chin as she gobbled down her breakfast. But then, she suddenly stopped. She knew better than to eat it all at once. She'd made that mistake with the apple before. No, she needed to save the meat and eat it slowly, over time. Of course, it wouldn't last more than a few days, but having something to eat would be better than nothing.

Once she'd had her fill, Nancy swallowed the abundance of broth from the platter and pressed the meat down, trying to squeeze the remaining juice out. This, she drank, too. Then, she carefully laid the meat pieces out on the tray, letting them dry under the intense light of the cell. Hours later, once the meat had indeed dried, she carefully wrapped the strips in her socks and stored them in her boots. She would save them for as long as she could, she knew that for a fact. Because she had no idea when Loki would feel generous enough to feed her again.


	23. Chapter 23

Nancy sat motionless in the corner of her cell, staring blankly at the stonework just beyond her reach. Not that she could see it all too well. Loki still had her glasses. Anything beyond a few feet in front of her turned merely to colors and shadows. She sighed and leaned her head against the wall beside her, moving her eyes to gaze out the side-barrier.

Her vision swam before her, tossing the room to and fro. The dancing, flickering torch outside her cell waved and winked, mocking her captivity. It was free to move and live and breathe. Free to consume and thrive, while she sat fighting for every breath.

It had been days since she'd seen Loki. Days since he'd allowed her to sleep. The night after their kiss, she'd felt exhausted, already weakened from her inability to restfully sleep during the previous nights. In the long stretch of days that followed, she felt her strength begin to fade away. An hour or two of sleep had kept her strength and spirits before. Now… she was absolutely wilting away.

Her head throbbed repetitively, easily matching the beating of her heart. When she closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall, she could feel sleep waiting for her, calling her name. Like the torch outside her cell, it flickered and lapped at the corners of her mind, but remained entirely out of her reach. The most she could do was reach a semi-tranquil state, where her body could relax and her mind could wander. But even thinking was tiring.

She knew what he was doing. Slowly breaking her, one piece at a time. She remembered the training she'd gone through. The sleepless nights, the bright rooms, the interrogations, living off of little more than gruel. But that was for S.H.I.E.L.D. She had to fight to save the intel. She was on an op and nothing would stop her.

This time… she was entirely on her own. She didn't have a mission to encourage her and drive her endurance. She didn't have a reason for being, aside from the slight possibility that maybe one day she'd return home.

In the back of her mind, she clung to an image of her family from the last Christmas they'd spent together. Anita looking festive in her stylish pink Santa hat. Little Ariel tossing paper around the living room and leaving her new toys scattered like little mines, waiting for an unobservant adult to step down and receive a sore foot. Mark and the silly video camera on his new phone. He had to document everything, after all. Everything. Then there was mom and dad, sitting at the dinner table, drinking freshly brewed coffee and waiting for the Christmas cookies to bake. It was a scene out of a greeting card. And it had been hers.

With the situation as it was… she'd never have that experience again. She'd never see Anita grow into a wonderful mother, or have the opportunity to watch Ariel grow at all. Or to help her sister through marriage troubles with Mark, not that they had any. She'd never see mom or dad, or smell fresh coffee brewing in the kitchen as cookies baked. She'd never see James or her colleagues or get to work another mission. She'd never start a family of her own, or get to be a hero. Everything she'd ever wanted was snatched away from her. Everything… everything relied on _him_.

Gathering what little strength she had left, Nancy stumbled her way over to the edge of her cell.

"Excuse me!" she called to the nearest guard, "Sir! I need to speak to Loki. Please. I can't take this anymore."

"The king is sleeping. None may disturb him."

" _Please._ " she begged, "Just go check. If he's awake, tell him I need him. I need my sleep or I'll die. I need the curse removed."

With a dramatic roll of his eyes, the guard turned to slowly make his way up to the palace. Winding halls stretched on before him, the trip taking a good fifteen minutes, if not more. Finally, the guard arrived at Loki's chambers and gently knocked on the large, golden doors.

Already in a bad mood from his own inability to sleep, Loki flung the doors open with a snarl. "What in Odin's name do _you_ want?"

The guard bowed humbly to his king. "Your mortal wishes to sleep," he explained, "but says she requires your assistance to do so. My apologies, sire. I did not mean to wake you."

Loki growled. Of course she wished sleep. He had almost forgotten about that particular bit of mischief, but he wasn't in the mood for demands. There was only one thing for it. "Tell her 'a favor for a favor'. And I do not come at her beckoning. If she hopes to sleep, let her offer something enticing." He went to close the door, then stopped, "And if she answers you, bring me her answer immediately." Loki slammed the door in the guard's face.

The guard blinked at the slamming of the door, turned on his heel, and went back to Nancy's cell.

"He says 'a favor for a favor' and to offer something enticing."

"Something… enticing?" Nancy thought aloud, her eyes widening, "Like what?" She turned and leaned against the edge of her cell. "A kiss gets me an apple… a passionate kiss gets me meat. What gets me sleep?!" But she already knew the answer. Each item cost more than the last and was more vital to her survival. Therefore, since she hadn't slept in days and was now desperate for sleep, the price she would pay for it would be dear. A soft kiss had won her an apple. A passionate kiss—a steeper price—bought her meat. If she wanted sleep, she'd have to give the only thing she had left. Herself.

With a deep breath to brace herself, Nancy returned to the barrier. "Tell him all I have left is… myself. But I will freely give myself to him if he will remove the curse."

The guard nodded once, acknowledging her answer, and turned for the door. Fifteen minutes later, he'd returned to Loki's chambers. Fearing his king's wrath, he knocked as softly as he could.

" _WHAT_?!" Loki roared, flinging the doors open again. These guards had no sense of personal privacy, did they? Why had he never noticed that before? By Odin, he needed sleep more than he had thought.

"She says all she has left is herself, sir." The guard rushed his words, "She offered you herself."

A smirk spread across Loki's face. Herself? So quickly? She couldn't possibly be that easy to break. She had more in her than that. More negotiation experience. Surely, in her sleep-deprived state, she had spoken without thought.

"Did she now?" Loki took a moment to think about it. "I did not think she would be so desperate for her slumber." He paused, then looked back at the guard. "Tell her nothing. Let her worry away another hour. I will come… in time."

The guard nodded in response and started on his trip back to the dungeon. When he arrived, he returned to his post, never once acknowledging Nancy's cell.

"What did he say?" Nancy called to him.

The guard remained silent.

"Please speak to me."

Nothing.

With a heavy sigh and a muffled curse, Nancy returned to her corner. This was hell. A bitter laugh escaped her lips at the irony of the situation. For centuries, Asgard was the Old Norse version of heaven. The realm where the fallen heroes would forever live with the gods. And yet, now that she was here, this 'heaven' was no more than a playground for a madman's whims. It wasn't heaven. At least, not for her. It was the deepest, darkest pit of hell that she could imagine. Being locked away in isolation, completely alone with her thoughts… her thoughts and these accursed bright lights.

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, wishing desperately for sleep.

* * *

/

* * *

Loki paced his chambers, thinking about what he would do. Accept or decline? Maybe neither. After all, he was in control here. He could make the game what he wanted. Maybe he shouldn't have said an hour. That seemed far too long when he wanted to know what she was really after.

When the hour had passed, Loki made his way to the dungeons. One determined step at a time. He threw the massive doors open and stormed in. "I've considered your offer." He called as he walked down the hall toward Nancy's cell.

Upon hearing his voice, Nancy opened her eyes and sat up. "I have a term." she called back, challenging him. She would give herself, yes, but only on her terms. She was not a piece of meat that he could play with. And he _would_ respect her terms.

Loki stopped outside her cell. He knew there had been more to this than she let on. There always was. "I'd love to hear it." He said, deciding to wait to tell her that he refused her offer.

"Last time, all I had to do was ask nicely, and you let me nap. One plea gets one slumber. If I give myself to you, I want the curse removed completely."

"As I said, I've considered your offer and decided that I do not want it. …Not yet."

Nancy stood and moved toward the barrier, ready to confront him. "Then allow me my sleep tonight, Loki. _Please._ Just for tonight. I can't do this forever. My body _craves_ rest. I'm already so weak." She paused, her next plea held back by the slivers and threads of what remained of her pride. She swallowed, biting back the hesitation, and continued. "May I please sleep tonight… master?"

That was indeed what he had become. Her master. He controlled every aspect of her life and being, and she was entirely slave to his whims. She'd once heard him say that humans crave subjugation. And now, he was forcing her to her knees. Taking her to her breaking point again and again, each time shattering more of her will and desire to fight. He was indeed her master.

Loki chuckled. She was intelligent, he would give her that. But, he wasn't quite ready to let her have peace. "I have come prepared with a counter-offer."

Nancy leaned sideways against a nearby wall for support and sighed. She was so tired. So tired of his rule and reign over her life. Exhausted by the game he was playing. "What is it?" Her voice was barely audible, laced with her exhaustion and frustration.

"As you have torn me from a peaceful rest," Loki said, stepping into her cell, "In order to gain peace for yourself you will beg."

Nancy took a deep breath and let it out slowly, contemplating his demand. He was smart, cunning... and brutal. Of course he'd refused her offer. He knew full well what she'd wanted from him. How he'd haunted her thoughts and dreams ever since the first day she'd met him. Taking her body wouldn't have been a punishment for her. Nor would it have cost as much. Because, in the back of her mind, it was what she'd always wanted. And, somehow, he'd known that. So of course he'd refused. Making her beg was far more humiliating. It called for more than her bending her body to his will. It added in the price of her soul.

As she stood there, leaning against the wall, she lifted her eyes to meet his. And there was the slightest flicker of kindness, hidden behind a mask of anger and contempt. If only she could reach the kind light within him… if only he'd allow her to see who he truly was. The kind man behind the tyrant. The lover behind the vengeful god.

Timidly, Nancy stepped toward him. She stopped in front of him, looking over his appearance. His regality. Despite the flicker of softness in his eyes, they were still fierce and severe. His chin was raised, showing his superiority. Even in his night clothes, he was far more powerful than she was. He was a king in every way, and all she was… was his dog. His 'pet'. He was strong, immortal, powerful. And she… she was so very, very mortal.

Nancy dropped to her knees before him and hesitantly reached out to take his hand. She softly passed her lips over the backs of his fingers, then looked up at him again. "Please let me sleep." she begged, "Please. _Please_.

"I sense no sincerity. Beg, _Nancy_. Do you know the meaning of the word? Grovel. _Beg_."

Nancy fell on her face as tears formed in her eyes, eventually spilling over from her embarrassment and desperation. What more did he want from her? She'd been days without sleep. How long did he expect her to last? "Please let me sleep, Loki!" she cried, "I'm sorry I woke you. Please!"

"Closer." He said, studying her earnestness. He had thought this would be rather more enjoyable than it was turning out. What was wrong with him? This was all he had ever wanted. A mortal, bent at his feet. Begging. Why did he feel so hollow?

"What more do you want me to do?" She looked up at him, her tears dripping from her cheeks and staining the floor near his boots. What else could he possibly want? "I _need_ to sleep. I'm _begging_ you, my master," she sobbed, nearing hysterics, " _let me sleep_."

Loki snatched a fistful of her hair in his hand, causing her to cry out. He squatted down to her level, his face perilously close to her ear. "I am satisfied. I release you to sleep."

As soon as he released her hair, Nancy scrambled into the nearest corner, her eyes wide with fear. "Thank you." Her words were automatic, nearly inaudible, as her body trembled from the shock of the ordeal. Still fearing what he might do to her, she slowly and timidly reached to rub at where he'd grabbed her hair. Like a frightened animal, she cowered away from him, watching him for any sign that he was coming after her.

Loki turned on his heel and strode out of the cell, heading back to his chambers. He needed sleep more than she did, it appeared. Once upon a time, that would have thrilled him. Instead, he found himself regretting what he had made her do. And that wouldn't do at all. He could have no regrets.

Once she realized that he wasn't coming back to harm her, Nancy collapsed in a pool of tears, her body wracked with sobs. How could he be so cruel to her? One moment, he was kind and loving, the next he was all but trying to kill her. What had she ever done to deserve this torture? Was he taking out all his anger at S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers on her? Was she his scapegoat?

About half an hour later, she'd finally calmed down enough to fall asleep. She lay with her back to the barriers and her face buried in the corner, still trying to block out the brightness of the lights. As she calmed, she tried to still her sporadic breathing, but an occasional hiccup or two still made their way to the surface. Within fifteen minutes more, she finally drifted to sleep.

But her sleep was anything but restful. She found herself in the helicarrier again, only this time she was the one in the cage. Loki stood before her, grinning, ready to push the button to release the trap into the sea. She pleaded for her life, got down on her knees and begged, but to no avail. When the trap dropped through the steel doors and went hurtling into the sea below, Nancy woke with a terrible jolt. She sat up, panting, as she tried to regain her bearings.

A falling dream. She'd had a falling dream. Most falling dreams happen within the first half an hour of falling asleep. She'd hardly slept more than a few minutes. A few minutes in comparison to the days she'd gone without sleep.

Almost involuntarily, a loud, mournful wail escaped Nancy's lips. After she'd fought so hard for her little window of sleep, it was snatched away from her by her own subconscious. She curled as tightly into herself as she could and waited for either death or Loki to come for her.


	24. Chapter 24

Every minute felt like an eternity. Every beat of her heart counted off one more moment she struggled to survive.

Nancy sat with her head resting back against the wall behind her, her knees curled up to her chest. Her eyes were closed, but she could still feel the heat radiating off the bright lights above her. Sleep was just out of her reach. She could feel it tugging at every fiber of her being… but could never reach it again. At least, not without _his_ help.

As reality and sense slowly slipped from Nancy's mind, she began to softly recite all the words she knew. There was no rhyme or reason for her list. It was simply a procedure. Something factual to hold onto in the insanity.

"Prosody. The study of speech sounds. P-R-O-S-O-D-Y... Syntax. The study of the grammar systems of a language. S-Y-N-T-A-X… Semantics. The study of the meanings of words. S-E-M-A-N-T-I-C-S…."

* * *

/

* * *

In the morning, Loki woke late. After taking out some of his anger last night, he had slept like a baby. He needed to find some way to release stress without harboring regrets over it. Perhaps that could be his mission for the day. However, first, his pet would want her morning meal. Loki rolled out of bed and slowly prepared to bring the girl her morning apple.

* * *

/

* * *

"Discourse. The study of conversations. D-I-S-C-O-U-R-S-E…." Nancy stared straight ahead with vacant eyes, studying the flickering light of the torch outside her cell. If only she could reach it. Perhaps, if she could, she could ask it why it danced so gracefully. How it balanced on the end of the wooden handle like that. Why it waved and moved so softly in the air. Surely it had a name. She would ask it its name. Or she'd give it one. Yes, if she could talk to the torch, she'd give it a name. What would she name it? Flamma. The Latin word for 'flame'. Yes, it was fitting. "Pragmatics. The study of how words are used. P-R-A-G-M-A-T-I-C-S…."

A tear streamed down her face.

Loki arrived at her cell, apple in hand. He stared at her for a moment. Were those tears? And was she spelling to herself? What had happened between sleep last night and this meltdown this morning? He cleared his throat to get her attention.

Nancy jolted and glanced up at him, snapping out of her mindless repetition. As soon as she realized who it was, she looked back down at the floor. She absolutely refused to make eye-contact with Loki. She had to show him her obedience. She'd be a good pet this time. A very good pet. She'd obey. Anything he asked, she'd do it. Anything.

"Have you ever had a falling dream?" she whispered, somewhat coherent.

Loki raised an eyebrow and tilted his head in a 'maybe' manner. She would go somewhere philosophical with it, he was sure.

"All that begging," she continued, her voice hardly above a whisper, "All those tears. I haven't slept at all."

Loki sighed. As much as it pained him to think she hadn't slept as he had intended, he couldn't break his own rules. "You wish me to allow you sleep without a favor."

"I'm too weak, Loki." Nancy's voice cracked with emotion as she began to fade, "I can't. I'm sorry." She closed her eyes and curled up tighter.

"Is this another thing a mortal requires?" He motioned to her, weak and unmoving. "Their slumber?"

Nancy didn't respond. She simply sat there, motionless, waiting for him to decide what to do with her. Whatever he decided, she'd go along with it. She was so tired of trying to fight him.

"Which do you desire more?" Loki tossed the apple and caught it. "Sustenance or sleep?"

Such a hard decision. Her body was so weak from starvation. But she couldn't survive for much longer without sleep.

"What favor must I do to get my sleep?" she finally asked, "I need both food and rest. Humans are… delicate creatures, with many needs."

"Hmm… Let us think… Once for sleep, you asked nicely. Another time you begged. What seems fitting now, to you?"

"I will do whatever you ask. Please… remove the curse."

"Remove it?" Loki clicked his tongue. "No. I may have need of it. But perhaps, full of pity, I will give you rest for the price of meat."

Nancy opened her eyes and glanced at him. "What if I have another nightmare?"

"Then we will negotiate new terms." he shrugged. "Are you prepared to accept my offer?"

Nancy nodded, her head barely moving. "Will you guarantee my rest? At least for an hour?"

Loki stepped through the barrier. "That depends on how well you have learned."

Nancy hoisted herself to her knees, bowing her head as he approached. Her obedience was genuine this time. "Please. At least an hour. I'm _begging_ you, my good master, just _one hour_."

"As I said, let us see how you have learned. Stand." Loki folded his hands behind his back, waiting for her to move.

Nancy slowly stood to her feet, but staggered as she tried to steady herself. She caught herself against the wall as her legs threatened to give out under her. After a moment to get the room to stop spinning, she regained her balance and resumed her obedient posture.

She glanced up at him, still avoiding eye contact, and stepped closer. She pressed her lips to his and mimicked his motions, but any passion she'd ever felt for him was gone. Her kiss was robotic, a means to an end.

After the appropriate amount of time, Nancy pulled away and allowed herself to collapse against him. Her muscles quaked under the effort of trying to remain standing. She clung to him for support.

Loki smiled at her effort. She must surely be tired. So tired she could not even find in her the innate desires she had shown the other evening. He moved her hair away from her shoulder and kissed the side of her neck. "I release you to slumber, pet."

At hearing his words, Nancy released him and collapsed at his feet. Her muscles continued to shake and spasm from the effort she'd given in standing. A soft whimper escaped her lips.

Loki stood up straight and watched her. What had he done? Were mortals so delicate that even this small discomfort could cause her demise?

"Help… me." Nancy whispered, her voice barely audible.

Loki picked her up, cradling her. He produced a cot for the corner of the cell and set her on it. A peace offering for what he had done, though he would never admit that. Not to her. "Give in to sleep, little one."

The sudden feeling of a soft surface beneath her caused Nancy to give a small sigh of relief. She had no idea where the cot had come from, but she was thankful for it. "Stay with me." Nancy whispered, already beginning to doze off. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to feel Loki sitting next to her. She wanted to cherish every nice moment she could with him, to make up for the horrors.

"Orders, pet." Loki warned. He didn't move, but he didn't promise to stay either.

"Please." Her plea was hardly more than a soft mumble. Within moments, Nancy was sound asleep.

Loki stood against the wall, studying her face as she slept. So much peace, in slumber. As tranquil as he had ever seen her. Maybe he should have stayed to watch last time, but he had been too upset to think clearly. Eventually, Loki took out the apple he had meant for her and ripped off a bite.

Half an hour passed without incident. At least she wouldn't have another falling dream. But then, Nancy began to whimper in her sleep. Her face twitched and scrunched and distorted. Her breathing accelerated and became rapid.

"No…" she mumbled, "No… please…."

Loki sank to the floor, his apple still in his hand. Interesting, that peace could so easily turn to nightmares. What did she dream? Who plagued her in the night? Loki shot up a field of invisibility around himself. She did not need to know he had stayed.

With a short screech, Nancy sat straight up, waking from her nightmare. She looked around, panting, as she tried to recover. But as she glanced around, she noticed Loki was gone.

"No!" she screamed. She reached up and gripped at her hair, hot tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Frustrated and desperate, she released another scream, unleashing her agony on any within range to hear. Her scream dissolved into sobs, and she began to dig her nails into her scalp. "Why?!" she cried between gasps for air, "What have I done? _What have I done?!_ "

Loki swallowed. He had asked himself the same for days now. He couldn't let her know he sat a mere two feet from her. He couldn't let her think she had the upper hand. So he did the one thing he knew he must. Loki flicked a wrist. A green mist swirled around Nancy, lulling her back to sleep, dulling her senses to the fear and anguish of night terrors.

Suddenly, Nancy felt herself begin to calm. She took in a ragged breath and lowered her hands from her face, finally noticing the green mist surrounding her. He had stayed. Even though she couldn't see him… he'd stayed. A small smile crossed Nancy's face moments before the mist knocked her unconscious. She slumped back down to the cot, enveloped in the spell.

Loki smiled to himself and finished off his apple. This decision, he did not regret. For the first time, Loki felt almost proud of what he had accomplished. He released the invisibility shield and stood to look down at the girl on the cot. Loki leaned down, placing a hand on either side of her waist. He could feel her soft breath on one wrist. He bent over her, and placed his mouth centimeters from her ear. He knew, better than most, that even in sleep she would her him.

"Eight hours, pet. Uninterrupted. I do hope you enjoy it." With a grin, Loki left the cell.


	25. Chapter 25

Eight hours later, Nancy woke to the bright whiteness again. She blinked, groaned, and tossed her arm over her eyes. Well, at least she'd gotten to sleep. And she did feel quite refreshed. Especially after her endless days and nights without sleep. With a yawn, Nancy sat up and looked around the room. It was empty.

She squinted as she glanced around, checking for any shimmers or waves, where the light would be disturbed by Loki's invisibility. For he had indeed used invisibility on numerous occasions. She knew that for a fact. Although she hadn't seen him in her cell before she fell asleep, she knew he was still there. How else would he have known she had awakened again?

Satisfied that Loki was nowhere around, Nancy slipped between the cot and the wall. She was absolutely starving. It had been days since she'd last had an apple, and she could feel her body weakening. Even with her eight hours of sleep, she was still so weak. Her bones were stiff, her muscles ached, and her head throbbed continuously.

She glanced around once more, just to make sure that he wasn't there, and then pulled one of her socks from her boots. She'd spaced out her morsels of meat as long as she could. Only three hard, cold, somewhat-fuzzy scraps were left. Without giving it too much thought – because if she thought about it too much, she'd be too grossed out to eat – Nancy popped one of the pieces in her mouth and began to chew. It tasted horrible and definitely rotten, but at least it was _something_. She gagged once, but then forced herself to swallow. Food was food, and she was starving.

"Trying to avoid favors? Tsk, tsk, pet." Loki appeared outside the barrier and shook his head. He stared her down. How could she think keeping things hidden from him was a good idea? After all they had been through together, this was how she repaid him?

"Loki!" Nancy nearly choked on her second bite of meat. She swallowed and shoved the boots away from her, quickly cowering back into the corner. "I didn't know when you were coming back. I was _hungry_. Please... forgive me."

Loki narrowed his eyes at her, hoping she understood his disdain. Loki sighed. This could, however, be the perfect opportunity to get her to answer some of his constant ponderings. "Explain to me, pet, why you conspire to disobey me." They had discussed this disobedience before. Did she think he would allow her death?

Nancy's voice was hardly more than a frightened whisper. "You forget me. You forget my needs. I don't wanna die."

She curled her knees to her chest and cowered as close to the wall as she possibly could. No power in all the universe could get her to even look at him. She knew she'd broken some severe law. Even though she'd rightfully earned the meat before, she was never privileged to save any of it. Nor to eat it at the present moment. Two disobedient acts. And she would be punished.

"I would not allow your death, _Nancy_." There were plenty of other, better things he could have called her. But, a name was a name, no matter how unfitting, and it was only right to call her by her own name when he was cross with her. Honestly, how could she think such a thing of him? He eyed the boot from whence the meat had come. "You will give back what is left."

Nancy moved automatically, as if she was back at the academy and one of her superiors had given her a direct order. She quickly dumped the remaining scraps onto the floor and tossed the boots aside. With the same frightened demeanor, she curled back into the corner again.

He flicked a wrist, and every scrap of the cold, leftover meat vanished. Then he turned his attention to the girl in the corner. "Why do you insist on disobeying me?"

"I wasn't trying to, sir. Honest. I was _desperate_. I'm _starving_ , eating _rotten meat_ out of a _sock_. Please, have mercy. I won't do it again."

"How am I to believe you?"

Nancy shook her head and let a sob escape her lips. What answer could she give to his question? There was nothing she could do to gain his trust. Everything she tried, failed. She was weak and cowardly and broken. Even her very existence was in opposition to him. With wide, frightened eyes, she finally looked up at him. "Are you going to hurt me for what I've done?"

"I may request a more difficult favor, but you are fortunate your antics have amused me." He could leave her no room to think he would be lenient. And, she had amused him. Meat in a sock. Who would have thought of that? He stood straighter and turned to his serious voice. "Answer my question."

She shrugged. "I have no answer to give. I don't know how to make you believe me. I can't convince you. My words... mean nothing. My pleas… are in vain. I'll… I'll have to act better, I suppose."

"About this, we agree." He shook his head again. He had to stop showing leniency. He had to punish her. And he had brought the perfect thing. Loki inclined his head to look at the mouse of a girl he now toyed with. "How shall I punish you for this?"

Nancy visibly flinched and curled tighter, looking away from him again. "The most logical approach would be to withhold meat from me for some time, since it's what I stole." she began, hoping to convince him not to flog her again. Of course… there was always the muzzle. And it would be a fit punishment. How else to keep a thief from stealing food? Knowing Loki's temper, he could do just about anything he wanted to her. And she could do absolutely nothing to fight him. "But you're judge here."

He smirked. An amiable answer, but she wasn't about to get off that easily. She had to learn obedience. One way or another. "I was going to allow you something, but now you have lost the opportunity."

Tears flowed down her cheeks and splashed onto the filthy jeans covering her knees. "Perhaps I can do something to earn it back? Anything you ask, I'll do it. No arguments or struggle." She chanced a glance to him again. "I _will_ obey you."

Loki let his ire eke out in his words and his actions. He slowly produced her satchel and toyed with the clasp. "I've not looked inside yet. Shall we?"

Nancy's eyes widened as she watched him toy with her prized possession. She slowly stood and looked down at him. "There's not much in there." she breathed, hoping to persuade him of its insignificance.

"Your concern says otherwise." He opened the flap and began to pull out the contents. Surely something had caused her overreaction. He moved through them as slowly as he dared, savoring each moment of this.

Nancy moved closer and knelt down near the steps to the barrier, watching his every move. Her satchel was her life. Everything important to her was in that satchel. Wherever she went, it went to. Not to mention the fact that it was _hers_. Loki's prodding, curious fingers working over her prized possessions was a clear invasion of her privacy. Everything she owned was in that bag. Who was he to dig through her life without a care?

He easily discarded a case of Midgardian contacts (some sort of eyewear he believed), and a pen. He took the time to flip open her notebook and peruse the pages. A very detailed list of how her head worked. He smiled. He had always wanted a glimpse into her beautiful mind. "Interesting," he mused.

"A murder case I just worked." Nancy explained, "If you'll read the notations, you'll see that those symbols aren't mine. The killer left them at each of the scenes. I merely copied them down to study later. Their significance to the killer. Their meaning to secret organizations, that sort of thing."

"Mm. Yes. I will send a message to your former superiors. He will be apprehended." He set it down to look at later.

"I already caught the guy."

Interesting. Nancy tilted her head to study him. Was that… care? Care in justice? He would not send a message to her superiors to tell them that she had been kidnapped. No… he would have told her if he had. To gloat in their confusion. But he _would_ send a message so that a criminal would be captured? Perhaps she did see something of a king in him after all. A kind light in the darkness he stalked in. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips… only to be brought down again by his next selection.

Loki dug back into the satchel and pulled out a small, oblong object. "And what is this?"

Nancy's eyes widened momentarily as she watched her flash-drive glitter in the light of the torches. "A piece of tech equipment. Nothing more." Her words sounded unconvincing, even to her own ears.

If she could burst through the barrier and rip it from his hands, she would. All of her information about him was stored on that drive. Recordings of his voice that had been broken up and analyzed. Descriptions of his gestures during every one of their encounters. Maps and charts of different places she'd traveled in her search of him. Articles by experts on the possibility of the realm of Asgard. Photographs ripped from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s databases before they collapsed. Everything that had been posted on her walls – and so much more – was all stored on that drive. …And there it was, sitting in the palm of his hand. She was stunned more by the sheer embarrassment of the whole ordeal than of her own treachery. Once he saw what was on that drive, surely he'd laugh at her and hold it over her head for the rest of her life. She sighed and hung her head, waiting for him to question her further.

He saved that object, as well. Judging by her nonchalant behavior, it was far more important than she let on. Next came a small leather pouch. A wallet, Loki believed. He flipped it open, only to be greeted by a host of pictures. Family, perhaps? He pulled out one of a slim, pretty girl. Oh, yes, he could use this. "And who is this? A sister, perhaps?"

"Yes." Nancy sighed, quickly tiring of his infiltration into her personal life, "Anita." She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes, sincerely begging him. "Please don't hurt her. She has a husband and a little baby girl. She has a life. You already have me, Loki. Leave my sister out of this."

"She is quite beautiful. Quite beautiful indeed." He held the picture closer to his face, studying each line in the beautiful woman's face. He could see the resemblance.

Nancy glanced down and picked at her fingernails. "Yes. I know." Of course Loki would study her sister more closely than he'd ever study her. Nancy was nothing to him. No more than a plaything. He'd said so himself. Now that he knew she had a sister more beautiful than herself, he would surely go after her instead. And with his streak of forgetfulness, Nancy would simply wither away and slip into oblivion. Another tear found its way down her cheek.

Loki noted her discomfort. Of course she would be jealous of this sister. Because she didn't realize how utterly ravishing he found her. He kept his face serious and looked up at her. "Perhaps she would be a more obedient pet."

Nancy gave a bitter laugh and swiped at her tears. "Good luck. She's an attorney. She was born to argue and fight. _I'm_ the tame one."

"Mm. Perhaps." Loki kept the photo, putting it inside a hidden pocket on his armor. He would make use of it later. He picked up the satchel again and dumped it upside-down. Everything that was left spilled onto the floor with a thud and a crash. He surveyed the trinkets. "I had expected more."

"Sorry to disappoint you. But there isn't much to me." She glanced down at the pile of items on the floor. Her contacts and drops, her notepads and pens. Scrap papers and old gum wrappers. A discarded cardboard wrapper from a to-go coffee. A random button and a few pieces of change. Her wallet, a booklet of word-searches, and a metal tin of mints. This was Agent Nancy McAllister. Everything she ever was lay scattered on the floor. A pile of papers and a few odds and ends. This was all she was. All there was to her. A pile of useless things. Nancy stifled a sob and looked away.

"And what is this face, pet?"

"Realization." Nancy sobbed, lifting a hand to blot at her nose. "Everything I ever worked for, everything I ever was… was in that bag." She let her eyes slide closed and leaned back against the wall behind her. "It all means nothing."

Loki kept his smile under wraps, sealing it back inside before she could open her eyes. He stepped forward, through the barrier. He could no longer stand having the thing between them. "And why is that?"

"Because I never achieved anything!" Nancy snapped, "All my struggle, and here I am, in a cage on another planet. I'm a dog!" She sobbed audibly. "I'm _your_ dog."

"I have met dogs." He knelt in front of her and used two fingers to lift her chin. He wanted her to look at him when he foreshadowed her worth. He wanted to see the look on her face. In her eyes. "Never mistake yourself for one of them."

She sniffled and moved closer to him, seeking some form of affection to soothe away her pain. He was so cruel… yet could be so kind. She sought the kind man within him with every fiber of her being. "Then what am I?" She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her head near his neck. "If you don't see me as a dog, then what am I to you?"

With a heavy sigh, Loki gently pried her arms from his shoulders. One long limb at a time. "It is not good to cling when I am so cross with you." One never knew what he might find himself doing.

"Then don't be cross with me." Nancy whispered, "Please... just one hug. I _need_ it. It's one of those things humans need sometimes."

"And perhaps you shall have one when you learn to obey." He stood. This was punishment, not the time for her to discover how utterly attached she would ultimately be to him. This was breaking her so he could reshape her into something even more beautiful.

"I _want_ to obey you. I do. I'm trying to. But… things just get in the way. Please have patience with me, Loki. I'm _trying_."

"I have been lenient thus far. Do not try my patience."

She nodded understandingly, then looked up at him again. "One more thing, before you go, does my punishment include taking away apples, too?" Perhaps, while he was still there, she could get real food for once, instead of having to survive off of rotten scraps.

"We shall see." He headed for the barrier. He hadn't considered taking away her apple. He would consider it thoroughly before making a rash decision. "I will return."

"Goodnight, Loki." Nancy called after him, "I hope you sleep well." And she meant it, too.


	26. Chapter 26

The eight hours of sleep Nancy had received was a welcome relief. It was as if a large weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Although she was still starving, her body felt refreshed and ready for her next challenge. As soon as she was sure Loki was gone for the night, she began her new strategy for escape.

For hours on end, Nancy trained in her little cell. She did push-ups, sit-ups, jumping-jacks, anything she could think of to regain her strength. Now that she was fairly in her right mind again, she had to keep her body in working condition as well. Even if she was starving to death, she would do what she could to fight it.

As she tried to regain her endurance, her muscles twitched and ached. She immediately felt the pain and weakness her hunger brought her. But she was determined to survive. To keep fighting on, no matter the cost.

Near morning, Nancy finally stopped and leaned against the wall near the barrier. She blotted at her neck and face with her shirt – thankfully she still wore her underclothes. By this time, she didn't care who saw – she glanced down at her scattered belongings, strewn about on the floor. Her eyes roved from one item to the next, weighing the value of each in turn.

Finally beginning to cool down, Nancy slipped back into her shirt and sat down cross-legged on the floor. Before her, just beyond her reach, lay the items that represented everything she was. They'd gone everywhere with her. They were everything she ever wanted or needed. Useless trinkets.

"My name is Nancy Rebekah McAllister." she began, remembering one of the coping mechanisms she'd been taught in the academy. By repeating simple, truthful, positive facts about oneself, it was easier to cope with negative and stressful situations, or to keep one's focus in times of confusion or interrogation. Now, in her lowest moment, she hoped some positivity would help her remember who she really was… before she lost herself entirely in this place. "I am thirty-five years old. I am an agent with the FBI and a former agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I am a profiler and a linguist. I have a family. People who love me. I have solved many cases and worked many more. I _am_ important."

She tried to believe it. So desperately tried to believe it.

But, as she sat there, the words became obscure and clouded, as if she was speaking of someone else entirely. She was not the Agent Nancy McAllister she spoke of. She was simply… 'pet'. A nameless, living possession used for pleasure and affection. An animal of the lowest rank, even when favored by a king. Yes, she'd seen pets in magazines and on the news who were pampered and treasured. But they were still pets. Creatures to be fondled and played with, then simply forgotten. A dog could be a member of the family, but at the end of the day… it was still a dog.

"My name is Nancy Rebekah McAllister. I am thirty-five years old. I am an agent with the FBI and a former agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I am a profiler and a linguist. I have a family. People who love me. I have solved many cases and worked many more. I _am_ important."

* * *

 **/**

* * *

For once in his life, Loki slept like a log. Not once did he stir or roll over or move. Instead, he had a night of dreamless sleep, and woke early, refreshed. The first thought on his mind was to see how Nancy had fared the night. He had, once again, forgotten to release her to sleep. He would have to make a habit of releasing her to sleep. He couldn't have her becoming ill on him. He sighed and headed for her cell without a second thought.

Inside her cell, Nancy continued her mantra, mumbling it to herself. It was merely repetition now. A constant wheel turning in her head, forcing her to repeat the words. It was a coping mechanism and she was coping. Because she was an agent in a holding cell. The enemy had tried to get into her mind, but she wouldn't let him. No. She had her words. She knew who she was. An agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. And she would repeat it over and over until she believed it.

As Loki approached, Nancy hardly noticed him. Her eyes stared vacantly downward, focusing on her satchel. Her hands were folded across her lap. She remained motionless. The only part of her that moved was her lips.

"I see we are alert." Loki chuckled as he heard the words he could not quite make out. Coping mechanisms, he believed they were called on Midgard. Asgardian warriors used similar tactics in unpleasant situations. Was she so uncomfortable here? Loki sighed. "What _are_ you mumbling about?"

"My name is Nancy Rebekah McAllister." Nancy repeated, louder. Her eyes continued in their vacant gaze. Her words, monotone. Repetitive. Automatic. "I am thirty-five years old. I am an agent with the FBI and a former agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I am a profiler and linguist. I _am_ important."

Loki shook his head. "How long have you been repeating yourself this morning?" He had to admit, it was quite amusing to hear her say it. She didn't quite sound convinced. And yet, something in her expression troubled him.

"Three-hundred seventy-eight times, sir." Her response was as automatic as her mantra. Her eyes never left their spot on the floor.

"Mm. Pity." Loki paced slowly, back and forth. He wondered if she could handle what he had planned for her this morning, in this fragile mental state. He desperately wanted to know how she would react. "I came to tell you I have not brought your apple."

Nancy slowly let her eyes slide closed. Of course he hadn't brought her apple. She'd been disobedient the night before. She didn't deserve one. Her mantra faintly fell from her lips again. It was all she had left to cling to.

"I have brought something entirely different. And it seems in good time, too."

Her eyes finally opened and glanced up to meet his. Curious, yet cautious, Nancy stood and moved away from the barrier. She stood a good distance away from him, just in case he planned to muzzle her again. Not that she had the strength to fight him. Still… she watched him with wary eyes, unsure of his motives.

Encouraged by her actions, Loki entered the barrier and held a hand before himself. He flicked his fingers ever so slightly to reveal what he had brought. A sticky roll, sugary sweetness dripping down the sides and the buttery goodness too rich to not be enticed by the smell. He held it steady as he approached her.

Nancy's eyes widened when she saw the sweet roll in his hand. It'd been weeks since she'd had anything so succulent. Her mouth immediately began to water. A soft whimper escaped her throat. "What favor do you require of me?" Her eyes darted up to meet his again. There had to be a catch. There was always a catch.

Loki thought about her question. What did he want above all else this morning? It took a lot of consideration, but finally he decided he would like her to sound somewhat sane. Yes, still a favor, enough to satisfy her suspicion. He smiled at her. "Cease your repeating."

"Is that all?" It was too simple.

"And eat it slowly, pet. Savor it."

Nancy nodded and carefully took it from him. Still cautious, she took a hesitant bite. After so many days on end without food or nourishment, with only apples or stale meat to give her life, the lone sticky roll was heaven in comparison. She let her eyes slide closed again while more soft sounds told of her pleasure. Bite after slow, savored bite, she was entirely enraptured in the deliciousness of the sweet. It was a welcome relief to the continuous horrors of her cell.

Did the woman know how positively distracting she was? Each moan, each soft emission of her pleasure, made him want to touch her. His eyes roved her from head to foot and landed on her sticky fingers. Oh, what a wonderful piece of mischief it could be. He just couldn't resist. Loki gently snatched her wrist and brought her hand closer to his mouth. He plunged his mouth over one of her fingers and swirled his tongue around it, gathering all the gooey mess to himself. Yes, the sugary goodness only tasted better like this. He moved on to the next finger.

Nancy harshly yanked her hand away from him, more from surprise than disgust. "What do you think you're doing?" she snapped, her mouth full. She tried to keep her hand away from him, but with him in such close proximity, it was definitely difficult.

He smirked and pulled her hand back to him. He couldn't let her go now, not after it had tasted so sweet. "Tasting the fruits of my labor. Do hold still." He slowly maneuvered his tongue over the next finger. Then the next. Then the next. Until he had devoured every last drop of saccharine divinity.

Nancy remained still, as he'd requested, but not really because he'd asked. In truth, she enjoyed the sensation. The closeness and the intimacy. Trying to retain some sense of dignity, she did everything within her power not to let her eyes flutter closed.

Upon considering his actions, she found his motive was what scared her. She didn't fear his sudden desire for closeness, but rather _why_ he wanted to be close to her. He'd planned this. The sticky roll instantly led to his possession of her fingers. What would he try to take next?

As he finished with her last finger, she stared at him like he was insane. Because he was. Obviously. Insane and methodical and absolutely perfect.

Her expression didn't go unnoticed. Loki ran his tongue down the length of the final finger and met her eyes as his tongue left the tip of it. He closed his eyes tightly and smiled to himself, not bothering to release her wrist. "Yes. Delicious."

"You doing okay today?" Nancy asked quietly, gently trying to take her wrist back, "You seem a bit… off. And that's coming from the woman who sat repeating herself three-hundred-and-seventy-eight times." She finally succeeded in snatching her wrist back, and immediately wiped his saliva off on her jeans in a dramatic show of feigned disgust. This day was getting weirder and weirder by the moment, and she could only imagine what he'd have planned for her next.

Loki grinned at her. Just what he wanted, a bit of confusion and suspicion as to his motives. There was the woman he knew from Midgard. " _I_ am perfectly fine, pet. It is you I should be worried about."


	27. Chapter 27

Loki opened his eyes to stare at her – _oh_ , how he wanted to kiss her – and licked his lips without really thinking about it. He didn't back away from her.

"Just… um…" Nancy began, pressing herself back against the wall in a futile effort to put more distance between them, "Just don't hurt me, alright? I mean, don't try to. Purposefully."

Her fear egged him on. He had never known when to stop, this time was no different. Loki stepped closer, invading her personal space. He looked down at her intensely. "Do I frighten you?"

"I only fear when you're angry with me." Nancy answered honestly, her voice a breathless whisper. She could feel her heart racing in her chest. "If you're not harming me…" She chanced a glance up at his eyes. "Should I fear you?

"I suppose you should answer for yourself." He glanced down to those deliciously long fingers again. If he could repeat the action he had just finished, he would.

Gathering her courage, Nancy stood a bit straighter. "I don't fear you, Loki." She stated defiantly.

"Oh?" He stepped closer still, all smiles gone now. There was barely an inch of space between them. "Not even a bit? Perhaps I have not successfully made my point." He reached to tuck a piece of her soft hair behind her ear, if only to have it wrapped around his finger for a moment.

Every fiber of her being quaked with fear. She flinched ever so slightly at his touch, but allowed him to move her hair. "I only fear what you _could_ do to me." she explained, "You yourself I don't fear."

"And what, pray tell, could I possibly do to the great _Agent Nancy McAllister_?" He leaned down, hovering inches from her face. If he just stretched a bit further, he could partake of her luscious lips.

He was so close. Too close… and yet not close enough.

Nancy's breath caught in the back of her throat and her eyes met his again. Without fail, there was the light. Playful, teasing, taunting. Inviting her to play along in their little game. Because that's all this was. A game. A grand game of life and death. A game of survival and study and wit. With a shaky breath, Nancy finally whispered, "Everything."

"Wise girl." He glanced to her lips again, wishing he could, but knowing he couldn't. One day, he would do everything to her, but it would not be this day. He dropped his voice to a low tone. "But, perhaps, still too defiant." He stood straighter and stepped back, putting the distance between them that she had desired, but knowing one day she would beg him to return.

Nancy released the breath she'd been holding, but immediately felt the distance it brought. A cold, empty void now stood between them. A hierarchy of scientist and experiment, of captor and prisoner, of master and pet. She watched him closely, her eyes never leaving his. If only she could capture that light within him and hold onto it forever. If only she could bring it to the surface and see who the man… the god… the Asgardian… to see exactly who Loki was.

Here she stood before him, only mere feet between them, and yet she felt she knew so little. All her work, all her study, all her hours with him… and yet she knew nothing. His mood and demeanor changed constantly. She could hardly keep track of which Loki stood before her or which one seemed to care. Because there was one that cared. Despite all he'd done to her, and continued to do to her, there was one side of him that cared.

Loki watched her watch him and kept a stoic face. He was unsure what to do now. If he had his way, he would claim her lips with his and never let her go, but she had not yet submitted to his will, so that was out of the question. He wanted to say something, to dig deeper into her head, but he wouldn't. He had gone too far once. It was time to learn his own boundaries and not push past them in an emotional tirade. Instead, he studied her.

Oh, how she longed for him to come closer. To show her that kindness he held deep within. He showed her glimpses and traces, but she knew there was more. She'd felt it in the first kiss he'd given. The first real kiss she'd ever had. She felt the passion and closeness and light within him, as if it was her own. If only she could plead her case to _that_ man. She would gladly submit to him.

"Is a bit of defiance really _that_ bad?" Nancy asked, cautiously stepping toward him. If only she could remain with his kinder side forever. If only the monster wouldn't come back. Perhaps… perhaps this once… she could keep it at bay. If only she knew how.

"You will obey me, my pet." The fact that she had advanced toward him almost caused a smile to leap to his lips. Yes, this could work well. One day, she would follow his every move without being told. He stepped back, to see if she would follow now. Perhaps the day she obeyed was sooner than he anticipated.

Nancy tilted her head ever so slightly, studying his motives. He wanted her to follow him. That was obvious. He had no other reason to step back. The only question now was… why? He wanted to see how well she'd submit. How well she'd obey.

Considering her options, and deciding that perhaps in this case submission was indeed her best option, Nancy took another hesitant step forward. "I'll do anything you ask."

Suddenly, Loki was behind her. He ran his hands down her arms, starting at her shoulders. They felt wonderful beneath his strong grip. He leaned to whisper in her ear, " _anything_?"

Nancy gasped at his sudden appearance and slowly closed her eyes. She swallowed and stood rigid, knowing full well what he'd ask of her. She said she'd do anything and he was going to take her up on her offer. Still hesitant, and against her better judgment, Nancy nodded. "Yes. Anything." she whispered.

He removed his hands as quickly as he had placed them on her and uttered his only command. "Kiss me."

Nancy half-laughed, half gave a breath of relief. He'd only wanted a kiss. And she'd oblige. Wholeheartedly. With a slight smirk, Nancy turned and pressed her lips to his, giving him exactly what they'd both been wanting. She kissed him with as much passion as she could manage, trying to hold on to the bright light within him, as if her kiss could keep it in his heart. Despite everything he'd said and done, _this_ man was the man she loved. The kind soul behind the monster. The lover that hid deep inside the maniacal god.

This time, he reciprocated, moving his lips lightly against hers. When he thought he could bear it no longer, he finally pulled away. If he could not possess, he could at least touch. He ran a finger down her jawline. "You are learning."

A hot blush rose to Nancy's cheeks and she glanced away, nervously nibbling on her bottom lip for a moment. She hadn't done that since she was in college, when she first met the IT guy. She blushed even more at the thought that Loki could make her blush and feel as giddy as a schoolgirl. She took a few steps back, still avoiding his gaze.

Loki smirked. Her reaction spoke volumes more than he had hoped to hear. He bore her heart, and she wrote it on the sleeve of her garment with every gesture and every word. Still, she wouldn't look at him and she backed away from him as though he might set her aflame. Loki swallowed to clear his throat. "Are you thirsty, pet?"

Nancy's eyes immediately met his again. His sudden question startled her and momentarily threw her off.

There was one table in the room, and Loki made full use of its existence. In a flash of light and waft of green smoke—though he needed neither to perform the trick—a goblet appeared in the middle of the small table. A simple glass, made spectacular only by his inference that it held more than water or wine.

She glanced over at the goblet and subconsciously tilted her head again, studying it. Surely he had other plans. She'd already been given her allotment of water for the day. So why was he suddenly so concerned with her thirst? "What's the catch?"

"You think _I_ would offer something with strings attached?" Loki pressed a hand to his heart. He could feign innocence with the best of them. This particular trick called for terrible acting skills. "I am hurt."

Now she _knew_ he was up to something. Wary of his ever-shifting mood, she began to back away. "It's poisoned." It was the only logical explanation.

"It's not—would you stop assuming that I would poison you? This is the second time!"

"Then what's the catch?" Nancy looked to him and crossed her arms. She wasn't going to play this game. She absolutely refused.

"I am the _god of mischief_. I do not tell my secrets." Loki shrugged. The more she concentrated on what the glass held, the less likely she'd be to expect the real trick. He hadn't pulled this one in ages, and it felt good to return to his old tricks.

"Exactly." She leaned back against the wall and raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

"Fine. I'll drink it first." In what he hoped appeared to be a fit of childlike anger, Loki grabbed the goblet off the table, drank half, and held it out to her. She would take it. He knew her far too well, and she would not be able to resist the silent challenge. "Are you no longer thirsty?"

"No, I am." She eyed the goblet carefully, knowing full well that his own magic wouldn't affect him. "Do you swear that nothing bad will happen to me?"

Loki rolled his eyes. He loved a good build-up, but she made this far more difficult than it should have been. He couldn't promise nothing _bad_ would happen to her, because she counted a lot of things as bad and he would rather not lie to her. However, he could make one vow. "Would I dare harm you?"

"Do you want the list chronologically or alphabetically?" To reiterate her point, Nancy gave him a rebellious glare. Still, though… she was very thirsty. Hesitantly, she took the goblet from his hand and glanced down into the wine.

She had to be in control, didn't she? Loki calmly folded his hands behind his back. He would play along. For now. "Would chronologically be easier? Oh, let's make it a challenge. Alphabetically."

Nancy laughed in spite of herself and looked to him with a smile. How could he be so threatening and so wonderful all at once. Deep within her heart, she felt that she could trust him. Somehow, she _knew_ that she could trust him. If only just a little. "Fine. I'll trust you. Just this once."

Slowly, Nancy lifted the goblet to her lips and took a hesitant sip. As the rich flavor washed over her tongue, she glanced at him and smiled over the rim of the cup. "This is absolutely delicious." she whispered, then tipped it back for more. "Really." She licked a bit of wine from her lips, "I've never tasted anything like this. It must be thousands of years old. Thank you for letting me try it." The more she drank of the beautiful wine, the more she let down her guard.

Like a good hunter and mischief-maker, Loki waited. He watched her every move intently. Her delight, and her true thirst. He would have to allow her more water than what he had been sending. However, now was not the time to think on those things. The instant she lowered the cup away from her face, Loki flexed his fingers behind his back. The cup shook and rattled in her hand. One by one, over the rim of the goblet, small snakes slithered over her hand.

Nancy screamed and dropped the cup, immediately putting as much distance between herself and the snakes as she could. She pressed herself back against the stone of the walls and stood on the ends of her toes, only pausing her piercing scream to take a breath.

Loki raised an eyebrow. He had never gotten that reaction before. He studied her carefully. She had made herself as small as possible, pressed flat against a wall and on the tips of her toes. An interesting reaction to a harmless trick. He tilted his head ever so slightly. "So... snakes frighten you."

One of the snakes touched Nancy's foot and she absolutely lost it. Her scream rose a complete octave from her fear. Tears began to stream down her cheeks, but the scream continued.

Loki winced. Mortals made that high of a noise? He couldn't recreate the tone if he tried. With a frown, Loki whisked away the illusion, leaving the room clear of snakes and the like. He had to shake his head to clear the ringing her scream had caused in his ears. Odin and all the Aesir, what was she thinking? "You are _definitely_ not fond of snakes."

Weak and terrified, Nancy sank to the floor. She curled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her hands, sobs wracking her body. The kind man she'd kissed was indeed gone. Replaced by the cruel monster once again.

Sensing his mistake, Loki retreated within his cold shell once more. No need to frighten her further. "Noted. Snakes are not favored and cause emotional moments." Loki wished he had the courage to delve into her mind and see what she thought of him now, but he knew better. He had gone too far. Again. Indeed, this time he may have broken her.

How cold and calculated his words were. Very factual. Very scientific. He didn't care about her mental state. He didn't care about her fear or the heartache he'd caused her. It was only an experiment.

Cold realization began to sink in as Nancy sat there. All at once, she realized that he was doing the same thing to her that she'd done to him. Every movement and nuance recorded. Actions analyzed. She'd done it to him so many years ago, but now he was having his revenge. Now, he was studying her.

"I'm sorry!" Nancy finally cried out, full of guilt and anguish, "I'm sorry!"

"Sorry for what?" He had broken her. She had done nothing. Everything done had been on his part. Loki stood straighter, curious.

Nancy's form shook and quivered under the stress of her fear. Her voice broke as she tried to explain, "For studying you." She finally lowered her hands from her face and looked up to meet his gaze. "You're not an animal, Loki! I'm sorry!" she wailed, "Make this end!"

Loki motioned around, as much to reassure himself as to reassure the distraught girl before him. "The snakes are gone." He had to do something. He stepped closer and settled a hand on her head. On his own, he wouldn't have had the words, but he remembered a time not so long ago when she had offered him comfort. "Calm down. Calm. I know you are upset, but your tears do no good."

Nancy released a shaky breath and tried to regulate her breathing. She let her eyes close again as another involuntary sob escaped her lips.

How could he be so kind and loving one moment, then so heartless the next? One moment he seemed to care for her. To crave intimacy and closeness. The next, she could be groveling at his feet and he hardly noticed. As he said himself, her tears would do no good. He was far beyond pity now. She was no more than a science experiment to him. A little white lab rat to play with. Because every snake needed a mouse to scare.

"Please…" she finally begged, her voice barely above a whisper, "Kill me."

Loki blinked, taken aback. " _Kill_ you? Why? They were only snakes."

"It's not the snakes!" she screamed, gripping frantically at her hair, "It's everything! I can't take this anymore, Loki! Please! If you have _one ounce_ of mercy in your body, just kill me and get it over with!" She broke down in sobs again. " _Please!_ "

Oh, goodness. The drama queen had arisen once more. Loki raised an eyebrow. "Nancy. This is overdramatic. Even to me."

Still sobbing, Nancy slumped over and buried her face in her hands once again. She curled her legs as close to her body as she could, wishing that she could simply shrink herself down to nothingness, just to get away from his tyrannical rule. "Please, Loki." Her voice had dropped down into a weak whisper again, "I just want it all to end."

Loki rolled his eyes. This had gone on long enough. He wouldn't endure her childish nonsense. "Then by all means sleep, but if you haven't noticed, I do not have plans to harm you."

She stared out past him as she let her hands drop down to the cold, hard floor. Her energy was long spent and she was too tired to play his game anymore. It was a terrible, cruel game. And it had worn her out. Now, all she wanted was to sleep. To sleep and dream that she was home again. Away from him and these tortures and tricks.

"But you do." she continued to whisper, her voice barely audible, "You harm me every day."

"Do I? Pray tell, what do I do?" Loki leaned sideways against the wall. He had answered all her pleas. He had offered her food and water, had made sure no one accosted her during her stay. He had molded her and held her and treated her wounds. What more could she possibly want?

"The apples, this cage, the flogging," Nancy began to recite in alphabetical order, as he'd requested, "You grab me when you're angry and only allow me half a pitcher of water a day. I'm being held hostage in this hell-hole while being imprisoned in isolation. You muzzled me, you're starving me, and I must submit to you. You, _King Loki_ , are a total and complete nightmare come true." Her words were as monotone and automatic as her mantra had been, still hardly above a whisper. "And I absolutely, positively _despise_ you. I dread the day we met because it was the day this all began, and I'm a complete idiot for ever thinking there was any more to you. There are some days I truly wish we'd never met."

"I did ask you once if it frightened you that you had gained the attention of a madman." Loki shrugged. He had asked. And then he had acted. "You said you did not care."

Nancy only curled tighter and closed her eyes, refusing to respond. Still not satisfied with the distance it brought her, she turned away from him, so that she was facing the wall with her back to him.

"You are mine, and I will see no harm comes to you."

"What do you care what happens to me?" Her tears were evident in her voice, "I'm a 'mortal', remember? You hate mortals. I'm just an animal to you. A lab experiment."

Loki bent to lean as close to her as possible. He rested his lips centimeters from her ear, and whispered, "Would I teach an animal to kiss as I taught you?"

Nancy sniffed and slowly turned her face to look at him. Even with his cruel snake trick, the light never left his eyes. Nancy gazed up into them as she studied him. His words were sincere, she could tell. Even with how horrid he'd seemed moments ago, the kind man was back once again. She treasured these moments above all else.

"Then what am I?"

"Mine."

Timidly, Nancy reached up and stroked her fingers down the side of his face, still studying him intently. She wanted all he'd said to be true. She so desperately wanted to believe him. "But you'll get bored of me." she protested, "And get rid of me. I'm only a 'plaything' to you."

Loki didn't move, in fact, he returned his mouth to her ear so he could keep his voice low. "And I _never_ give up my playthings."

Nancy couldn't help her soft laugh. "That explains _so much_ , really." she teased. Wanting to cherish their moment before it changed to darkness once again, she sat up and pressed her lips to his. Her kiss was soft and loving and sweet. She wanted to hold onto him for as long as she could. To keep the light at the surface, where it belonged. But of course the kiss ended much too soon, and she was left merely gazing into his eyes again.

A slow grin spread across Loki's face. She had learned. She wanted now. She asked. She had not broken, but she had changed. Knowing if he stayed longer, he would do something he would instantly regret, Loki straightened and turned to go.

"Loki." Nancy sat up fully and turned to watch him leave. "Why me? Why did you choose me? Why not go back for any other woman?"

He stopped, but didn't bother to turn. That question required the truth, and he could not look at her and say it. Kings did not cry. "Because you stayed." He turned for the barrier and passed through it. Yes, one day, she would be fully his. He motioned to a guard and then to the empty bag on the steps. "Put the things in the satchel and have it brought to my chambers."

In an instant, Nancy was on her feet, running for the barrier. She pressed her palms against it, as if she could push her way through it. "Loki, please let me have my things. Please. They're all I have left."

"I will consider, pet. A favor for a favor." He wagged his finger at her playfully, then nodded to the guard. He would tolerate no disobedience or dalliance. "Do as I have instructed."

The guard immediately obeyed.

Nancy followed Loki as far as the cage would allow, then stood watching him from the corner of her cell. "Whatever you ask, I'll do it!" she called after him, "You know I will!"

But it was too late. Loki had set his sights on the things to come that day, and was off to run his kingdom. His little pet would have to wait until he had accomplished his duties for the day.


	28. Chapter 28

Loki didn't stop thinking of the kiss she had given him all morning. He dwelled on how it had made him feel and the way she had innocently pressed her lips to his. She deserved a reward for entrancing him so. Not just any woman could do it. He passed a guard, and suddenly an idea came to him.

He motioned to the guard and lifted a pile of papers to put in his arms. Then a pen. He shoved them at the guard with a single instruction. "Take these to the girl I keep. Tell her I will collect my favor at a later time." He sent the guard off with a wave of his hand. He would collect, all right. He just had to think of what it was that he wanted so desperately he would freely offer her paper and a pen.

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy sat twining one of her shoestrings around her fingers. She thought of all she could do with it. All she'd like to do. If she was stronger, and still the agent she once was, she'd ambush Loki during his next visit and wrap the thing around his throat. But he'd surely overpower her, especially with her in a weakened state, and punish her more severely for her outburst of rage.

Perhaps she could use it on her own throat. End this madness once and for all, while retaining what little dignity she had left. Little scraps and threads of control she had left. But she couldn't do it. She wasn't strong enough, physically or emotionally. Neither did she have a place from which to hang herself.

With an angry, frustrated growl, she wadded the string into a ball and threw it across the cell. It was no more than a weak string to her. Not the thread of salvation she'd hoped for.

There was no use in fighting anymore. She was so tired. So very tired. Of the madness. Of the pain. Of feeling herself fade away. She hardly knew who she even was anymore. Who was Nancy McAllister? I woman she'd met once in a dream. In a past life. Now, she was Pet. Little more than a three-letter syllable. Pet. Nameless Pet. Obedient Pet. Very, very mortal Pet.

A sudden thump jolted Nancy out of her gloom. A guard stood before her, a pile of papers at his feet. She stared at him and tilted her head slightly, the way a dog stares at a new dish.

"From the king. He will collect his favor at a later time." the guard announced, holding the pen out for her to take.

Nancy cautiously reached out and took the pen from him. She pulled it back and glanced it over. A beautiful, golden calligraphy pen, etched with swirls and knots, the common decorative features of Asgard.

When she looked up toward the guard again, he was gone. She'd been left alone. But… now she had something she loved. Something to pull her from the depths of her despair. Paper and ink had always been her best friends.

With a smile tugging at the corners of her lips, she moved closer to the stack and removed a sheet. Now… what to write about? As she sat there thinking, a story came to her mind. One of the old Norse myths. The story called Loki a doer or good as well as a doer of evil. That was exactly who he was. A doer of good and a doer of evil.

Nancy dropped the pen to the paper and began to write. The first page consisted of a list of all the deeds he'd done when she first met him. A T-chart separating the good from the bad. What had he done that was good? Well, he'd healed her. And spared her from his mind control. He'd allowed her to stand by his side as he attempted to rule the world… she supposed that was better than tying her and holding her hostage. Well, better than tying her up at least. And then he'd had his guards protect her. What had he done that was bad? That list was longer. He'd killed hundreds. No… he called the Chitauri down, who in turn killed hundreds. He'd kidnapped her and held her hostage. He'd tried to rule the world.

Next, she made a list of things he'd done when they next met, in Stark Tower. He'd threatened to come back for her, which he'd followed through with. But he had acted relatively civil, and never once tried to harm her. He'd… welcomed her visit. Welcomed her into his cell and even allowed her to have a conversation with him.

And when he'd come to kidnapped her, he'd played along with her game. Despite her fears, he only made her sleep. In her time in the cell, she'd muzzled her, starved her, flogged her, and stole her sleep, but he never did more than that. She'd worked cases where the captor had beat his victim day in and day out. She'd seen women torn to pieces. Loki would never do that to her. She knew that for a fact.

An hour later, she had a complete compiled list of all his good and bad deeds. Everything he'd done since their first meeting.

 _Doer of Good:_

 _Our kisses_

 _I'm his_

 _Wants to know about me_

 _Healed me_

 _The salve_

 _Was hurt by his actions_

 _Regretful?_

 _The sweet roll_

 _The passionate kiss_

 _Kind_ _(sometimes)_

 _The light_

 _Says no harm will come to me_

 _Gives me apples (if I earn them)_

 _Sometimes I think he does truly care about me. On good days._

 _Doer of Evil:_

 _The Chitauri_

 _Holding me hostage_

 _Studying me - Experiment?_

 _Starving me_

 _Flogged me_

 _Stole my sleep_

 _Made me grovel_

 _'Pet'_

 _Favor for favor_

Yes, the list summed him up nicely. He was Loki, the doer of good and the doer of evil. If only she could reach the kind light within him. Maybe he would finally choose the good over the bad.

* * *

/

* * *

Loki took his precious time finishing his business, ending hours later. With a smile, he cloaked himself in invisibility and made his way down to the dungeons again. He would have to make a shorter path. He couldn't wait the time it took to march himself down.

Inside the cell, a green snake slithered its way up Nancy's leg.

As Nancy finished stacking her papers again, she felt something moving on her leg. She glanced down at it to find the head of a little green snake staring over the top of her knee. It flicked its tongue at her. She screamed.

Nancy jumped up immediately and shook her leg to get the loathsome creature off. She screamed again as it dropped to the floor and began to slither around. She moved into the far corner and stood there, cowering in fear. She _hated_ snakes. Absolutely hated them.

The snake slithered to the opposite corner and coiled. Its eyes stared at her, almost through her, as it lay in wait for her to make a move.

Finally, once the two had calmed down a bit, Nancy looked the snake over. Another Norse myth came to her mind as she watched the snake. Loki was supposedly able to change his shape and shift into different creatures. With what she knew of his ability to turn invisible and create doppelgangers, she wouldn't put it past him.

Timidly, Nancy knelt to the floor and held her hand out toward the snake. "Loki? Is that you?" She beckoned the snake closer. "I hate snakes, but if it's you… I wanna know. Just… please don't bite me. Okay?"

The snake just flicked its tongue.

Loki stopped momentarily and smiled. He liked to watch her when she couldn't see him. He could see the real her, then. Not the woman she pretended to be in his presence, but the real Nancy McAllister under that skin. Besides, this experiment proved much more rewarding than he thought it would.

No reaction. It didn't even move. "You're… just a regular snake, aren't you?" Upon realizing she was trapped in a small cell with her worst fear, Nancy screamed again.

Loki stepped through the barrier, turning visible as he went. His first move was to stretch his hand toward the snake. It slithered over his fingers and wrapped itself around his wrist. He stood and brought it nearer his face to study it. To think his lovely pet was so frightened of his favorite animal.

Nancy panted softly as she tried to regain her composure. Her heart felt like it was in her throat. Her blood rushed through her veins and pounded in her ears. "Is it… poisonous?" she panted.

He chuckled, still studying the snake's pattern. "Would I allow anything to harm you, pet?"

"No." Nancy admitted, "I don't think so." She watched him closely. Every move, every twitch, every breath. She had no idea what he was planning to do with that snake. "Will it bite?"

"I've taken care of that." He held out his hand in her general direction, finally looking up at her. "Care to touch it?"

Nancy physically flinched and curled tighter into the corner. "No, thanks."

He shrugged and pulled it closer to his face. He made a face at it and watched it slither around his wrist. "Pity. He rather likes you."

Nancy's eyes widened momentarily. "You speak snake? Somehow, that doesn't surprise me." She glanced to the snake and watched it closely. Before, it was just an animal. A fearsome creature, too. But now, with this new information, it seemed entirely different. It had thoughts and feelings. It was a pet, Loki's pet. The same as she was. "Why does he like me?"

The snake coiled tighter and Loki tilted it to still see its face. "He doesn't say."

Nancy fidgeted as she watched the snake slither over his wrist. "Doesn't that feel weird? Having it move all over your hand like that?"

"It is not dissimilar to some Midgardian bangles." He leaned in closer to the snake and whispered a single command. The snake slithered up his arm and then down his torso and his leg, back to the hard floor.

Nancy squeaked and immediately pulled her knees to her chest. "What did you tell him?" she nearly shrieked.

Oh, yes, she was quite frightened of his littlest pet. He chuckled. "That he is free to roam." The snake slithered sideways, in her general direction.

"Just don't let it bite me!" she pleaded, desperate.

"He won't." Loki glanced to the pen and papers. His curiosity strangled him. He had to know what she had been writing. "I see my gift was delivered promptly."

"Yes. Thank you." Nancy whimpered, "I haven't used much, though. I was... interrupted." She curled tighter as the snake moved closer. There was nowhere for her to go. She was trapped.

The snake stopped inches from her foot and looked up at her. Loki reached to pick up the top paper from the pile. He couldn't resist. What went on in that beautiful head of hers? What did she think of and write down in her spare time?

Nancy's eyes widened as the snake stared up at her. It was so close. Too close. She was completely paralyzed with fear and too distracted to care about her papers. She didn't care what Loki did or said about them. She had bigger problems than his opinion on her scribbles. She had a deadly, poisonous, awful snake within striking distance of her feet. It was going to bite her. It was definitely going to bite her. She didn't even dare to breathe, lest she spook it.

Loki read through the lists he had snatched. 'Doer of Good' and 'Doer of Evil'. Interesting that she should categorize him as both. He scanned the bad, nodding in agreement with some, and moved on to the good. Just what did she think about him that was good? He smiled when he found mention of the kisses she had given. With a lighter heart, he set down the list and moved past it. An imperceptible twitch of his fingers sent the snake slithering away from her. He'd let her have a break. For now.

Nancy sighed with relief as the snake turned and slithered away. She glanced up at Loki, then went back to watching the snake. She was still on guard around it. "How much is that pile of papers going to cost me?" she asked, her eyes never leaving the snake.

"I have yet to decide. Would you care to offer anything?"

She shrugged and watched the snake coil in the opposite corner. "I have nothing to offer."

"You continue to say this. Surely you can think of _something_."

"You'll grow tired of my kisses if I give them too freely." This was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. She sat there, paralyzed with fear, over a common garden snake. And Loki had promised her that it was not poisonous and would not bite her. It had thoughts and feelings and claimed to like her. Well, if it liked her so much, it wouldn't hurt her… right?

Finally gathering her courage, Nancy held her hand down to the ground and beckoned the snake closer. She would conquer her fear and hold the snake. Loki was here and he would protect her from harm. She was sure of it.

Oh, so she would play at bravery now? Fine. As it amused him, he would humor her. Loki held back his smirk and leaned against the wall.

The snake slithered toward her hand, sidewinding at parts, and testing the waters, as it were. Soon, he would allow it to venture farther.

"Think of something else, then," Loki instructed. Perhaps, in fear, she would be honest.

Still refusing to remove her gaze from the snake, Nancy spoke without looking at her captor. "If I agree to be your pet, will you treat me as kindly as you treat your snake?" Within moments, the snake was at her hand. It slipped its head over her fingers and wrapped itself gently around her wrist. She whimpered softly, but allowed it. It was a sweet snake after all.

"I treat all my pets with the same respect." The snake slithered farther, winding up her arm. Loki watched it closely. "But you mustn't disobey. Pets who disobey are punished."

Nope. She couldn't do this. This was a mistake. A big mistake. She should've never let the snake get so close. Nancy sat paralyzed with fear again as the snake slithered up her arm and perilously close to her face. "Then… then that is my offer." she finally managed.

"To become my pet? I thought you already were." He allowed an amused smile. This would not be an easy transition for her. The snake nuzzled her chin gently. Then a little more forcefully.

Nancy gasped softly as she felt the snake rub its head against her chin. She could feel her body shaking and hoped her quivering form wouldn't spook the snake. She sat as still as a statue as the snake began to ram its head against her chin with more force. Her breaths came quickly and shallowly. She dared not move.

"I mean your actual pet." she whispered, finally looking up at Loki, "You let him roam freely, why not me?"

"He comes when I call. Does everything I say. Bends to my every whim. When I shall not know where he is, I lock him away."

Timidly, Nancy reached to stroke the snake's back. Maybe if she did something it liked, it wouldn't bite her. "But you give him affection." she protested, her voice remaining at a whisper, "And you feed him and allow him to sleep. Thus, he's loyal."

"I kept him securely locked away for months before he learned to bend to my will. Are you willing to undergo the same?"

"I don't want to be in here for months." She began to pet the snake with more confidence, now too distracted with her own predicament to worry about a harmless snake. "Did you muzzle him, too?"

"Unlike you, he does not speak aloud. I refused him food when he disobeyed and, pet, I am in his mind." The snake wound farther up her arm and nuzzled her chin one last time before it wound itself around her neck. It coiled there, sitting lightly.

Nancy gasped softly and closed her eyes. She'd stepped right into his trap. Like the idiotic mouse she was, she'd allowed him to charm her and lull her into a state of security. Now, she was trapped with a snake wrapped around her throat. Loki had just admitted that he was controlling the snake the entire time, as he'd controlled the agents before. If he willed it, the snake could strangle her to death. All he had to do was command it to do so. And she'd allowed it.

"Will you be in my mind?" her words were barely audible. She couldn't stand the thought of him being in her mind. She'd lost everything else. All she had left was her wit and her memories. If he took her mind, Nancy McAllister would be gone. Forever replaced with the mind of a sheep. She'd be one of the herd, as the other agents were. A zombie that followed her master's bidding. Unable to think or speak for herself. If he took her mind… he'd take her soul.

"As I said, you can speak aloud." Loki stepped closer, admiring his symbol encompassing her lovely neck. "I _require_ absolute obedience. Should I summon you, you would come immediately. _Silently_."

"But you will be kind?" Nancy persisted, looking up at him once again. Tears flooded her eyes and threatened to spill over. "Give me everything I need, when I need it?"

"I will feed you, if that is what you mean by this." He paused, thinking through his next revelation. Something he had sorely wanted to hear since she came here. "There is another requirement."

"What is it?" She could only imagine what he'd require from her. "Not the muzzle again. I'll stay in here if you're going to muzzle me again."

"The muzzle is for punishment." He took another step closer, moving his attention to her frightened eyes. "As my pet, my _speaking_ pet, you will not call me Loki."

"Then what'll I call you?" Nancy reached up and gently began trying to remove the snake from her neck.

The snake wound tighter at her touch, embracing her neck with renewed fervor. "You will refer to me as Master."

She gasped softly as the snake coiled tighter, as if in emphasis of Loki's revelation. He would be her master. And she would refer to him as such. Everything she was, everything she'd ever hoped to be, was quickly fading in this moment. If she accepted his terms, she'd lose herself entirely. All she'd have left is her mind. And even that was fading at times. "What if I slip? May I call you by your name when we're alone together?"

"If you are to be my pet, it would suit you better to call me master. I will be lenient while you learn." The snake shifted around her porcelain skin, revealing more of it. "But you must agree to all of these terms." Loki raised an eyebrow and waited for her response.

Again, the snake shifted for emphasis. If she didn't agree to the arrangement, the snake would surely strangle her. Every move, every twitch, was a threat. Still stunned with fear, Nancy glanced around her small cell. The cell with the too-bright lights and cold, hard floor. The cell that separated her from him and kept her locked away. The cell where she was starving to death and wasting away. "If I don't agree, how long will you keep me in this cell, living off of apples?"

He followed her gaze around the cell, paying special attention to every bit of it. She would agree to his terms one way or another, he was sure. "As long as it takes."

Nancy sighed heavily and looked up at Loki again. The words fell from her lips before she could stop them. "I agree to the terms."

The snake unwound from her neck and slithered back to Loki, who reached down a hand so the creature could coil around it. He had done his job, and done it well. Loki studied it, not bothering to look at Nancy anymore. "Someone will come for you," he promised. He couldn't grant her too much hope. He couldn't show her how enthused the prospect made him. He headed for the barrier.

"Wait. Please." She hoisted herself to her knees and reached out as if to stop him from leaving. "Will I see you again tonight?" There was so much more she needed from him. Food. Sleep. Comfort. She needed him. As much as she hated to admit it, _she_ _needed him._

"Perhaps, pet. Perhaps." He cooed at the snake as he walked away, talking to it in Asgardian and generally congratulating it for doing its job so well.

Nancy dropped her hands down to the floor as her tears finally began to flow freely. She dug her nails into the white-washed concrete as she knelt on her hands and knees. "What have I done?"


	29. Chapter 29

It was nearing midnight when Loki decided to do something about Nancy's request. He opened his door wide and scowled at the nearest guard. He would do, he supposed. With hardly a word, he sent him off to fetch the girl to him in his chambers. The guard agreed with no argument. At least that was a good sign.

Nancy sighed. The hours stretched on and on without end, leaving her ever alone with her thoughts. Loki had been gone for the rest of the evening and had never come for her. With his enduring habit of waiting days before he acted upon his shallow promises, she could be left pining near a week away before he decided to send for her.

She had no idea why she'd agreed to his terms. Or even offered herself as a pet. Well… yes she did. She did know why. She was tired of this cell. Tired of having to grovel for food and sleep. And quite frankly, she was tired of being alone. He could be so kind and loving when he wasn't attempting to nearly kill her. And it was that kind man that she hoped to appeal to.

Maybe she could finally become the friend and companion she'd longed to be from the very beginning. Maybe hope still remained. Perhaps, through being his pet, she could finally thaw his icy heart.

Hours passed. She had no idea what time it was, but she hoped Loki would come soon. Once again, she could feel sleep lapping at the corners of her mind, but she was unable to reach it. Once again, her vision swam before her as she tried to focus on the fuzzy outline of the flickering torch outside her cell. If only he would come for her. Soon.

"King Loki demands your presence."

Nancy looked up when she heard the guard's booming voice and the great thump of the end of his spear hitting the ground. She slowly stood to her feet and walked to the edge of the cell. As soon as she was within reach, the guard lowered the barrier and grabbed her arm, nearly yanking her down the steps. Nancy stumbled after him as he dragged her along, her blurry vision made all the worse by the drastic light change. Dim torches barely lit the darkened halls, sending long, wild shadows dancing across the walls. She could hardly see where she was going, led along only by the guard's constant pulling.

Hallway after dark hallway. Up and down stairs she couldn't see. Her feet betrayed her. The agent, once so strong, could only helplessly stumble after the massive guard. His hand clenched tightly around her forearm, his grip made all the worse with every misstep. Finally, when Nancy felt she could take the journey no longer, she heard the guard pound loudly on a set of great doors, and then she was shoved through, as if she was no more than cargo. She flailed as she tried to regain her footing and nearly fell into the back of a nearby chair.

Once she got her feet under her again, Nancy glanced around the room, trying to determine where she was. A few dim candles accompanied the soft glow of green-lit light-fixtures. She saw the familiar green and gold of the sheets on the bed. The sheer, golden curtains blowing softly in the midnight breeze. This was Loki's room.

With a deep breath to steady herself, Nancy slowly stepped out into the middle of the room. So far, all she could see were the sheets and curtains. Everything else was either dimly lit or blurry. Or both. She had no idea where Loki was, or if he was even in the room. But she didn't dare speak. Her silence was one of the terms she'd agreed upon. When he sent for her, she was to come silently. She distinctly remembered that term. Assuming her posture of obedience again, Nancy braced herself and waited for something to happen.

Loki waited for the guard to shut his door, and then stepped from his shadowed corner. He advanced on her silently, and circled her ever so slowly. Observing each inch of her. Weighing in his mind what needed to be done. Smirking when she couldn't see him. How long he had wished to see her outside her cage. Now, here she was, submissive and awaiting his command. For once, she was at his mercy. Loki couldn't describe the feeling of power that flowed through him.

As Loki circled around her, Nancy tried not to flinch. She kept her eyes downcast, not wanting to see the look on his face. She knew how he was looking at her. As if he was sizing up a piece of steak at the market. Or debating on purchasing a horse. Inspecting every inch of her to see if there were any flaws. She wasn't even a person to him. She was an animal. Only an animal. His new pet.

He stopped in front of her and weighed his next move carefully. She mustn't suspect what final outcome he wanted. He picked up a lock of her greasy hair. They would start the transformation with that. With one long finger, he pointed to the washroom door. "Bath."

Nancy nodded once and headed in the direction indicated. At least he was allowing her to bathe. She hadn't bathed in at least a month. Far long enough to gross herself out, much less an Asgardian king-god.

It took her a moment to find the door, but once she did, it easily slid open. Inside, more candles were placed here and there and green lights hung from the walls. The gentle rays reflected back off the golden antiques, making the room seem all the brighter. A free-standing tub with delicately engraved feet stood in the middle of the room. To its right, near the corner of the room, a marble wash-basin stood atop a thin marble pillar. Over the sink hung a large, clear mirror with a thick, richly decorated, golden frame. A cushioned bench and golden shelf of towels occupied the opposite corner. On a table near the door, a golden tray sat laden with everything she could possibly need for her personal hygiene. A basket of soaps, a few little glass jars full of creams, lotions, and perfumes, a hairbrush, what looked to be a toothbrush, and a sponge. It was all far more than she'd expected or imagined. Her breath caught in the back of her throat as she tried to take in the beauty.

"Did I neglect to mention the splendor?"

Nancy nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving the scene in front of her. It all looked more like a spa getaway than a bath for a pet.

Suddenly, a new thought dawned on her. What if he planned to bathe her himself? Or wanted to watch her? She blushed intensely at the thought. She _was_ his pet now. He could do as he wished. _Oh… no. No, no._

She turned abruptly and looked at him, his figure illuminated by the light from the washroom. "May I close the door?" Her voice quavered as she asked, betraying her desperation. She absolutely, positively needed to close the door. She wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

He smirked again. Shy, wasn't she? "I have no qualms with looking upon your person, but as it seems you do, I will allow it." He held up a finger before she could even think he had finished. "This once only. In the future, if you wish to bathe privately, you best do it when I am away."

Nancy nodded again and quickly slipped into the bathroom. Best take advantage of his kindness before he decided to change his mind. She went to close the door, but stopped. He deserved at least some sort of explanation. "I'm just… not much to look at." Nancy mumbled, then finally closed the door.

Loki shook his head in disbelief. She really believed that? Who had told her she was nothing splendid? Who had broken her trust and betrayed her? If she believed she was nothing to look it, she was strangely misguided. He chuckled to himself and made sure she couldn't hear what he said next. "Oh, if only you knew."

Nancy glanced around nervously, trying to decide where to begin. It was probably best to start drawing the water, since it would take a while for the tub to fill. She cautiously turned the knob near the golden facet and let warm water pour into the tub.

Then, she turned for the tray of items. First she picked up one soap, then another, then another. Each had a different scent, depending on its color and shape. She moved to the jars next. One was full of a white cream. She cautiously touched her finger to the surface, then rubbed the cream between her fingers. It was a lotion. And rose-scented, too. Nancy smiled. Rose had always been her favorite scent.

The next jar smelled of mint and contained a clear gel. Again, she touched her finger to the surface and felt the texture. Slightly different than the one before it. She brought her hand to her lips and cautiously tasted the gel. It tasted of mint. Toothpaste, perhaps?

A third jar also contained a clear liquid. As soon as she uncapped the top of the jar, the smell of a strong perfume hit her nose. She scrunched her face and put the lid back on the jar. It was definitely a perfume.

With the tub now full and her curiosity quenched, Nancy began to disrobe. "You'd better not be in here," she whispered, glancing around frantically. The last thing she needed was her captor turning invisible to watch her. He'd already said he didn't mind looking at her. And she wouldn't put it past him. It would be the sort of nasty trick he'd play. "I'm warning you," she continued, carefully slipping into the hot bath, "If I find out you're watching me, we're going to have a long – and quite loud – conversation. And if you are, you're the lowest, crudest, rudest type of dog that ever walked the face of the earth."

But as she settled into the water, Nancy's fears began to subside. The bath felt wonderful. Beyond wonderful. Beyond anything she'd felt in a long, long time.

/

Finally, a full hour later, Nancy stepped from the tub, feeling like her old self again. She wrapped a towel around herself and headed for the wash-basin. Although it didn't have a faucet, it did have a drain, with a pitcher of water next to it. Carefully, she picked up the toothbrush from the tray near the door, dipped it in the toothpaste, and began brushing her teeth. How magnificent the little things seemed to her. Things she'd taken for granted before. After she was finished, she rinsed the basin out with the water from the pitcher and scooped her old clothes off the floor.

It was then that she realized she couldn't simply walk out. She didn't have any clean clothes. What was she going to wear? Surely he wouldn't make her wear her old, smelly clothes.

Hesitantly, Nancy opened the door a crack and peeked out. Out in the main room, the lights had been brightened. The whole room was now visible to her. Well, as visible as it could be with her glasses still gone. Along the far wall, there seemed to be a large bookcase, packed wall to wall and floor to ceiling with books. Closer to her, a green chaise lounge was placed halfway between the washroom and Loki's bed. On the far side of the room, cushioned chairs sat facing a coffee table, with a larger dining table behind them. Along the wall by the door, a dresser stood. In the opposite corner, a large wardrobe reigned supreme, dominating the entire corner.

Nancy glanced slowly around, looking for Loki. Everything was green and gold and blended one into another. How was she supposed to find him amongst his things? "Um… master?" she began, "I don't have any clean clothes."

Loki smirked widely as he watched her wander out, in a bath towel no less. Perhaps he should have said something before she bathed, but this was far more fun. She had noticed. At least he couldn't rightly say she was unobservant. "Ah, yes," he said as nonchalantly as he possibly could. "I have taken the liberty of remedying that." He pointed to the chaise.

The floor-length silk gown was forest green, of course. _His_ color. Because, like it or not, she was his. He had overseen the designing of the gown himself, and made the adjustment that allowed for a slit between each of the four panels in the skirt. The open spaces ran from the floor to her thighs, and he rather liked the thought of the peeks he would no doubt see of her bare legs. Aside from that, they also allowed for flexibility. Kneeling and sitting and possibly crawling, depending on his mood. The long sleeves would make her arms look long and slim, as they were.

Nancy timidly stepped out and moved closer to the chaise, holding the towel tightly around herself as she did so. Her hair hung in damp, red strings over her shoulders, dripping cold water down her arms. She cautiously picked up a corner of the dress and let the fabric slip between her fingers. "Will you look away while I dress?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder at Loki.

He sighed heavily and held up a single finger. "This _once_ I shall oblige your timidity." He made sure she saw the overdramatic way he turned his back on her. He wanted so desperately to turn and see. To devour the view. But, he wouldn't. Because she mustn't know how he felt.

Quickly, Nancy dropped the towel and pulled the dress over her head. It slid sown her figure and covered her completely. She blushed when she saw the matching silk and lace undergarments, knowing he'd had a hand in picking them out, too. But she needed them, and slipped into them as quickly as she could.

When Nancy turned to grab her towel, she felt one of the slits in the dress slip over her legs, revealing them as she moved. She took a step and felt another, this one on the opposite front side. A step back revealed the ones behind her. Nancy squeaked and tugged at the slits, willing them to close. They revealed so much of her legs! Too much! She could tell she was blushing bright red… but nothing could be done to fix the dress. So, gathering her courage, Nancy lifted her arms to dry her hair, letting the dress slide over her legs once again, revealing them.

"Alright. You can look."

More overdramatics were in order as he turned once more to face her. His breath almost left him at the sight of her in his color. He sufficed with a single nod. "Yes. I approve." And there was one more thing missing. Something he should have given her long ago. He reached into a drawer and rummaged around for it. He had put it there only the night before, where could it be? He spoke to cover the time it took. "There is one more... accessory."

An accessory? What sort of accessory would a pet have? A collar, of course. Nancy closed her eyes tightly in silent prayer. "Not a collar." she whispered to herself, "Please don't let it be a collar. The snake didn't have a collar."

"Snakes never wear collars, pet. It is impractical as it hinders their movement." Never let it be said that Loki the Trickster didn't have excellent hearing. If she thought she could mumble to herself and get away with it, she had another thing coming. Finally, he found the object and clamped his fingers around it.

"It isn't a _shock_ collar, is it?" Nancy began to back away from him.

He pulled the collar from the drawer. The inside was slightly padded, so as not to hurt her sensitive neck, and the outside was golden. Emeralds were set at equal intervals around its circumference. "No. But it shall allow me to know where you are at all times. As my other pets." He proceeded toward her, ready to place it around her neck.

Nancy took another step back, eyeing the cold, thin metal. Her hair dripped down the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. "You don't have anything… cloth?"

He stopped mid-stride and flexed it to show her how the gold had been spun so finely that it floated like silk. "It is soft, I assure you." He finished his stride and stopped inches in front of her.

Nancy's breath caught in the back of her throat. There was nowhere for her to run or hide. She'd agreed to this, of her own free will. Then why did she feel like he was turning her into his slave? "Just… not too tight. Please."

That would be what she asked of him. He smirked at her audacity. It was simple enough to reach his hands around her throat and seal the clasp with a whisper of magic. She would not be able to take it off at all, not unless he allowed her. And he wouldn't. He liked the sight far too much. He folded his hands behind his back again and took a single step back.

Nancy stood with her eyes downcast, feeling very alone. All Loki had ever wanted her to be was an experiment and a pet. All she would ever be to him was a plaything. "How many pets do you have?" she asked, feeling like she would only be one of many.

He inhaled at the beauty of the emeralds bobbing over her skin. Then exhaled again, thinking on her question. "Quite a few snakes. A bird. A cat or two. And a few horses." He nodded. Yes, that summed it up quite well.

Nancy snapped her head up when she heard him mention cats. "Cats? Do _they_ obey you?

"Of course." A genuine smile lit his face. One last instruction had come to mind. "You will, of course, not be allowed to roam until you have proven your obedience."

Nancy's eyes widened slightly. What could he possibly ask her to do? She took a step back, fearing his motives. If he even _tried_ to touch her, she'd flip him right over her. …If she'd had the strength for it. Maybe she could punch him again… and incur his wrath. With a sigh, Nancy whispered, "What do you want me to do?"

"Everything we agreed upon." He motioned to the chaise behind her. "You will sleep here."

Nancy gave a sigh of relief and turned to glance at the chaise, then looked back at Loki. "Will you allow me to sleep? Entirely through the night? I've been… having nightmares lately. If I wake, will you allow me to go back to sleep?"

He dropped his hand out of the motion and looked down at her. Did she doubt him so much? All she had to do was mention the nightmares. Much as he hated to admit it, he was probably the subject. He owed her at least the night's peace, since he would no doubt interrupt it in her dreams. "You will sleep," he promised. He nodded to the chaise again. She really needed to learn the meaning of 'obedience', didn't she?

When he nodded to the chaise, Nancy acknowledged the order and immediately did as instructed. She went and sat down on the long chair, then stretched out on it. The sigh that escaped her lips was entirely involuntary. The chaise was so soft and reclined back at just the right angle. "Oh, this is _so_ much better than the floor."

Loki smiled at the sigh, enjoying its innocence. He ignored her comment about the floor and turned for his own bed, which sounded better with each passing moment. He discarded his armor and tunic on the way, opting to sleep in only his trousers. He would have disrobed entirely, but he didn't want to frighten his new pet to death. "I release you to sleep, pet," he announced as he fell into his enormous bed.

At hearing his words, Nancy glanced over at him. She was close enough to his bed to see his figure clearly. She blushed slightly as her eyes roved over his form, acting in their own accord. She took in the view. The soft color of his skin. The muscles that rippled beneath the surface. He was more handsome than she'd imagined. After staring at him for a full minute-and-a-half, Nancy finally snapped out of it and glanced away. "Um… master?" she stammered, "May I have a blanket? Or would that be asking too much?" The chill of the room was beginning to get to her bare legs. That, and she wanted to hide from her own embarrassment.

"Look closer, pet." He yawned and stretched like one of his cats. For such an observant woman, she overlooked the plainest things.

Nancy's breath caught in her throat as she watched him, her eyes never leaving his form. She couldn't help herself. This was all she'd ever wanted. To be so close to him. To see him as a man, not a god. Oh, but he had the body of a god.

She coughed to snap herself out of it again and turned away from him, making it so she couldn't see him, even if she tried. When she did, she found a green velvet blanket folded over the back of the chaise. It hadn't been there a moment ago. She quickly covered herself with it, a small smile finding its way to her face.

Maybe being his pet wasn't so bad after all. He pampered her with all the best soaps and perfumes Asgard had to offer. He'd allowed her to bathe in the most beautiful bathroom she'd ever seen and then sleep on a comfy chaise. He gave her a silk dress – complete with silk underthings – a collar made out of real gold and emeralds, and even a soft, velvet blanket. Yes, she should have agreed to this arrangement a long time ago.

Soon, Nancy fell fast asleep and slept through the night, her nightmares gone for the evening. She slept deeply and soundly, soothed to sleep by the gentle rustle of the curtains blowing in the breeze and the soft silk and velvet nestled against her skin.

As was usual, having little to no remorse about his life, Loki slept soundly the entire night and well into the morning. Life was good, the girl had come to him, and he had plans for her.


	30. Chapter 30

Loki woke slowly and peered over at his new pet. He liked the sight of her in the morning, curled into a ball and sleeping soundly. He chuckled at her adorable sleeping habits. With no noise, he rose and dressed, preparing for the day. He had duties to attend to, and he had to ensure she wouldn't move from his chambers. He reached to the ground by the chaise and produced a chain, long enough to allow her to move about, but short enough she would not be able to leave the room. He quickly attached it to her collar. He petted her hair, feeling its softness, and smiled. He liked this arrangement. With that thought in the forefront of his mind, he headed out for the day.

Nancy slowly opened her eyes as she felt a hand gently stroking her hair. She looked up to see Loki smiling down at her. "Good morning." she mumbled, barely audible. But then he turned and headed for the door. He must not have heard her. "Wait! Where are you-?" But the door closed behind him.

She dashed for the door, the silken panels of her dress swishing over her legs. Just as her hand neared the doorknob, the sudden jolt of her collar reaching the end of its chain caused her to choke and stumble backwards. She gripped at her neck and soon found the chain. A look back revealed that the other end of the chain was attached to the chaise. No matter. She'd simply drag the chaise along behind her if she had to.

Nancy tugged at the chain, but it wouldn't budge. She tugged harder, but the chaise wouldn't move. "Loki!" she screamed as loudly as she could, half cursing him and half begging him to return.

Of course that was the one rule she forgot to obey. The one she had actually agreed to. He winced and shook his head. She would learn, he chided himself, and kept walking. He couldn't show too much lenience, else she would expect it always. He had to keep his mind focused. Not on her.

After a few moments, Nancy realized her mistake. She'd used his name. "Master!" she tried again, "Wait! Come back! Please! I have to talk to you!" Desperate, Nancy tugged wildly on the chain, but nothing moved.

His steps faltered at the word that fell from her lips. She had remedied her mistake. And he had no _pressing_ matters. Shouldn't he reward good behavior? Positive affirmation produced good results. He knew that from his other pets. Besides, he couldn't ignore the pleading in her voice. With a sigh, Loki barged back through his door. " _What_ is it, pet?"

Nancy gasped and froze at his tone. He'd yelled at her. She hadn't meant to bother him so greatly. She merely had questions was all. Why was he leaving? Why was she chained? What was she supposed to do while he was gone? When was he coming back? But the questions fell flat when he'd yelled at her.

She stared at him in stunned silence as she tried to grasp what she'd called him back for. But her words failed her. She'd really wanted nothing more than to know why he always left her. With this new arrangement, she'd hoped to have more time with him. To study him, with him studying her, if he so chose.

"You didn't give me my apple," she finally heard herself say. It was the only excuse she could give. How could she tell him she wanted him to stay? What would she do if he _did_ stay? She blushed at her foolishness and looked away.

Loki rolled his eyes. He had been hoping for something better, but all he'd gotten was a request for food. Could that really be the only thing on her mind? He leveled his gaze at her. "Is that _all_?"

No. It wasn't. She wanted him to stay with her. To sit down with her and speak to her as if she was an actual person. She wanted to know so much more about him. And she could reveal so much more about herself. Whatever he wanted to know, she'd tell him.

But he didn't feel the same way about her as she did about him. She was only an animal to him. A pet. A plaything. "My papers." she replied quietly, her eyes still downcast. If she could have nothing else, she still wanted her papers. Her notes were her world. Her anchor in the insanity. "I traded my freedom for those papers."

"The papers will arrive shortly. As for the apple..."

Her eyes lifted to meet his again. And there was the light, shining more brightly than it ever had before. It gave him a look of childish innocence, yet the utmost regality. He looked so sweet and kind. So much like a prince. A true prince.

Nancy stepped closer and tilted her head in preparation for their kiss, but felt the pressure of the collar against her throat as she leaned in. With a sigh, she stepped back and looked down in defeat. "I'm sorry. I can't reach."

He stepped an inch or two closer to her. His eyes roved over the sight of her in the dress. Yes, just as lovely as he had imagined. And, _oh,_ he had imagined. Every beautiful inch of her, and now she was his. Loki smiled at the hint of pale leg he saw through the slit in the dress. That had been a genius idea if he ever had one.

His eyes traveled back up to her face. "And now?"

Oh, how she longed to kiss him. Nancy returned to him and pressed her lips to his, feeling their warmth and softness. She lifted one hand and laid it lightly on his arm. How she wanted to give in. To pull him to her and kiss him as passionately as he'd kissed her. And how she wanted him to stay.

 _Stay with me._ she pleaded in her mind, _Stay with me._

But he wouldn't. She knew that. She was merely his pet. And he was a king. A king with a kingdom to run.

Slowly, Nancy pulled away and took a step back, refusing to make eye-contact again. She couldn't. If she saw that light again, or even thought of their kiss again, she feared she'd do something drastic. And she couldn't chance angering him. Not when the moment had been so sweet.

Loki smirked against her lips. He was the god of mischief, above all, and he could sense how badly she desired the kiss to continue. Conniving woman that she was, she ended it anyway. Didn't she know it only served to tease him? He took a step back and regained control by using her weakness against her. Words. "You should be aware, now that you are a cherished pet, your kiss buys more than an apple." He turned to leave.

"Cherished?" He'd called her cherished. She blinked in surprise. Cherished. Loved. Cared for. Desired. _Cherished_. It was a deliberate word choice. A word with heavy connotations. It wasn't a word one simply threw around or sprinkled on sentences like salt. He thought of her as cherished. He cherished her.

As Nancy stood mulling the heavy word over, Loki had already gone. She snapped out of her stunned stupor as he closed the door behind him. "Wait! When are you coming back? Can't you stay for a little longer? Master? Master…?!"

But it was too late. He had gone.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Because you guys are awesome, and the last chapter was a bit of a filler, and my co-author and I really want to get this chapter up, you're getting this chapter a day early! Woo! Yay for early chapters! Hope you enjoy it. The next one will be even better ;)**

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Fifteen minutes passed before a kitchen maid pushed the door open and entered with a tray containing a roll, a small block of cheese, and the promised apple. She avoided eye contact at all cost and settled it on a table.

Behind her, a snake slithered in and scaled up a wall, silent and unnoticed. He curled into a round ball and made himself as small as possible. His duty was not to be seen.

"Thank you." Nancy whispered as she stood from the chaise to make her way over to the table. Timidly, she reached down and tried to hold the slits in her dress closed. She blushed bright red as she walked across the room. What did this new woman think of her? Of the awful slits in her dress? Nancy was sure the maid thought of her as Loki's consort. Especially with the slits in the dress. Only a woman of the night would wear something so revealing.

"Loki gave me this dress." she tried to explain, "It's not exactly my style, but at least it still covers what it needs to." Nancy gave a nervous laugh, only to watch the seemingly frightened maid flee from the room.

She sighed and collapsed down into one of the plush chairs, the chain on her collar rattling as she moved. "It's cause I'm a mortal, isn't it? Because I'm a pet. Not even the maids will look at me. Funny." she tore off a piece of the roll and popped it in her mouth. "I guess I have the same status as his snakes now. Green and frightening."

The snake chose a vantage point where he could watch her without a blocked view or an interruption. He settled there, Loki's eyes and ears in his absence. Without fail, he would keep his eyes on the mortal woman, so Loki could watch her as he willed.

A short time later, Nancy finished with her meal. She sat back and smiled, her stomach feeling somewhat full for once. It was a nice feeling. So much better than the grumbling of starvation.

As she sat there picking at the crumbs on her plate, another maid entered, this time carrying her papers. "Set them here." Nancy instructed, rising to help the young woman. The maid did as she was told, also avoiding eye-contact. She quickly produced a rolled strip of leather and an inkwell from the pocket of her apron. These, she set next to the stack of papers. With a quick curtsy to the regal red-head, the maid left the room.

Curious, Nancy slowly unrolled the cloth. It was a wide strip of leather that, when unfolded, became a carrying case for a set of antique quills and pens. There were pens made of wood, gold, silver, and ivory. Quills with little tufts of feathers at the end. Pen-knives with delicate engravings and a set of blotting cards to absorb the extra ink.

Nancy's face lit up like it was Christmas. "Look at these!" she exclaimed, "They're wonderful! So old, _thousands_ of years old. So beautiful!" She picked up each item, one by one, and turned them over in her hand, studying the detail of decoration. Finally, she chose the ivory pen, dipped it in ink, blotted the excess on one of the cards, then began to write a journal entry on one of the clean sheets of parchment. The ink flowed beautifully.

She'd been wrong before. Asgard _was_ heaven.

 _Date: Unknown – Day 1 of being Loki's pet_

 _Last night was amazing. I actually slept through the night. And he let me bathe. It was a wonderful bath. Everything is made of gold, silver, or marble. Everything. And he gave me a silk dress! I don't like the skirt. It has too many open spaces. But it's silk! Real silk!_

 _I'm not sure how long I've been on Asgard. I know he's held me captive for weeks. He starved me, flogged me, and stole my sleep. But when I do as he asks, he rewards me. And, over time, he has grown kinder. I know what he's doing. And I hate to say it… but it's working. It's strange. I know the methods behind the madness, but I find myself falling into his trap. I know the game. I've seen it before. Studied it. But now that I'm experiencing it, I can't help myself. If obeying him and being his pet means that I retain some semblance of dignity and humanity, then so be it. Irony at its finest._

 _Otherwise, I do think my health is stable. I have been experiencing some self-doubt and have slipped into a more negative mindset, but when looking at the situation, the emotions are most certainly excused. I have lost some weight, I think, from my time in the cell, but not a detrimental amount. My strength has fallen, but not to the extent that I'm helpless. My keen attention to detail remains intact._

 _Asgard is beautiful. Loki called it 'glorious', and it is. The realm of the gods. When looking at the architectural designs and décor choices, I notice many aspects from different periods of mortal life. There are elements of Roman architecture, such as the large columns that don the hallways and furniture. But, at the same time, the vaulted ceilings mirror those originally found in Greece. Pens and tools match those of the Elizabethan era, while there's a golden Victorian tub. I wonder, who influenced whom? Did aspects of Asgardian life creep silently into our own world? Or did Asgard adopt our ways of life?_

 _Then there are some things I cannot explain. Electricity in the cells and powering the strange green lights of Loki's room, yet also the use of candles and torches. Windows with the lattices left open instead of air conditioning. As I notice more peculiarities, I'll report them._

 _Thus far, my adventure on Asgard has been both awful and wonderful, all at once. Every day I long to go home, but I know my heart would break if I left. If only Loki would see me for who I really am. I know there is so much more to him. If only he'd show me._

– _Nancy McAllister_

Finished with her entry, Nancy glanced up at the bookshelf across from her. Books upon books upon books, stacked up to the ceiling. With a smile, she carefully moved over to investigate them. She pulled one from the shelf, the first one she saw, and began to skim it. It was in Asgardian, but that didn't stop her. She loved the look of the language. As she turned the pages over in her hands, she slowly paced the room, careful not to tangle herself in her chain.

The snake cowered back, coiling against the wall. Trying to remain unnoticed. If she ventured closer, she might see.

Suddenly, she stopped mid-stride. She'd stumbled upon one of the pictures in the book. The image shimmered and moved, showing a man riding a large black horse and brandishing a golden spear. The legs of the horse slowly moved back and forth, imitating the horse's gallop. As she watched, the background shifted from a bright blue sky to one of midnight blue. Stars began to sparkle and shine. "Fascinating!"

Once she was finished with that book, she returned it to the shelf. Nancy skimmed the words on the spines of other books, looking at all the titles. As her fingers brushed over the golden lettering of one, her hand froze. The title wasn't in Asgardian. It was in Old English. _This book_ she could read. Carefully, Nancy pulled the book from the shelf and looked over the title. It translated to: _Beowulf_.

"I love this book!" Nancy cried with glee, darting back toward the table. She flipped it open and sat down to begin the painstaking process of trying to translate the book into modern English.

With little effort, the snake slithered around to a vantage point where he could see her face as she read. It remained there for the rest of the afternoon.

Hours passed quickly as Nancy became engrossed in the tale. It was only when she discovered that the book was complete that the real fun began. In the late seventeenth century, the last remaining Midgardian copy of _Beowulf_ had burnt in a fire, destroying countless pages of text. Loki's copy, however, preserved on Asgard, remained in pristine condition. Complete and untouched.

Nancy sat back in her chair, her hand clasped over her mouth, lest she accidentally breathe on the page. She quickly moved her writing utensils as far away from the book as possible, not wanting to smudge the priceless artifact with ink. What she'd stumbled upon was worth far more than all the gold and jewels of Earth. It was as if she'd been given a gift from the gods. In fact, she had.

Carefully, Nancy reached over and grabbed a single sheet of paper and a pen. She moved slowly and deliberately, her training governing her actions. She would copy the text first, stroke for stroke. Then she would translate the text into modern English from her copy, using the original copy as a guide. It would be more painstaking than simply reading the story, since now she had the added work of trying to read, translate, and copy. All while she didn't even have her glasses. But she wouldn't let her lack of sight stop her. Up close, she could see. Yes, her eyes were strained, but the discomfort was nothing in light of the treasure she'd found. Nancy spent the rest of the day and well into the evening copying the missing texts.

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Loki had never had such a long day. Meeting after meeting. Theory after theory. And still no closer to the truth of the matter. He sighed as he entered his chambers and removed his helmet. He set it aside easily and flopped into a chair. He closed his eyes and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. Many more days like this and he would have a constant headache.

Nancy jolted and looked up when she heard Loki flop into a nearby chair. She'd nearly forgotten where she was. With the same careful and precise movements, Nancy organized her papers and moved them off to the side, out of the way. Then she closed the book and returned it to the shelf. On her way back to the table, she stopped and glanced at Loki. He looked absolutely exhausted. She hadn't seen him so tired since their trip on the quinjet, after he'd fought his way off the helicarrier.

"Master?" she whispered, approaching him, "Are you alright?"

Loki opened his eyes and glanced at her. He had almost forgotten she was there. But, oh was he glad she was. For once, in a very long time, he found himself not alone after such a long day. There was someone there, someone to speak to and share with. She must, however, learn to do as he wanted before he even spoke it. One day she would know what was expected of her.

He motioned to the floor. "Kneel, pet."

Nancy slowly knelt in front of him, the panels of her skirt swaying so she could sit. "You look like you've had a long day."

He chuckled and reached to unclasp the chain from her collar. Now that he was back, resident in his chambers, she wouldn't be going anywhere. "I have," he answered. "And were you a good pet while I was away?"

"I tried to be." Suddenly, her eyes lit with excitement, "Oh, my gosh. You have _Beowulf!_ The complete _Beowulf_! Ours was destroyed centuries ago. I've never read the whole thing. But you have it! I spent the whole day trying to translate and copy the missing pages. I can't read the Asgardian books, but they're pretty great, too. I especially like the moving pictures. I have no idea how you get them to move." She stopped and clammed up. "Sorry. I'm talking too much, again. Aren't I?"

He shook his head and chuckled again. He knew as much, but it was amusing to hear it come from her lips. Little did she know he had specifically removed _Beowulf_ from the royal library and positioned it where he knew she would find it. She would never know the lengths he went through to see to her comfort and happiness, such as it was. He patted a hand against his leg. "Come. Sit."

Nancy blinked at the sudden request. He'd never wanted such closeness before. It was a large step for her to take. To trust him enough to sit on his lap. Hesitantly, Nancy sat down, unsure of his motives. But, this _was_ all she'd ever wanted. To be close to him. Perhaps, she could let herself enjoy it. Just one moment with him. She slowly leaned back until she was resting against his shoulder.

"It must be so difficult being king." she commented.

"I find the challenges... rewarding." Loki absentmindedly stroked his hand along her arm. Up and down. Feeling the soft fabric under his fingers. Silk had been a wonderful choice, and it still felt cool and calm under his fingers. It grounded him, this feeling of closeness, like nothing else he could think of.

Nancy glanced at his hand, growing uncomfortable. How had a kiss or two and an occasional head-pat turned into her sitting on his lap with him stroking her arm? She flinched under his touch.

"Every whim. You promised." He sounded over-tired. Even to himself.

She heard the exhaustion in his voice. All he wanted was to relax with his new, _cherished_ pet after a long day of ruling. She could give him that. Nancy sighed softly and closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to relax against him. As far as she could tell, he didn't have any ulterior motives. He simply wanted to spend time with her.

Still stroking her arm, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He was content enough to sleep there, in the chair. However, his mind told him his bed would be more comfortable. Even if he wished to have her sit there, laying against his shoulder, all night long. He could not sleep in the chair again. Too many nights had been spent there, and though he was still spry, his muscles would not tolerate it forever. His headache demanded a pillow to soothe it, anyway.

Growing sleepy herself, Nancy shifted so she could lay sideways against him. She curled up in his lap, her own contentment finally showing. She glanced up at him and smiled. Maybe she'd read him all wrong. Maybe he did have feelings toward her. She sat up and softly kissed him, hoping for him to kiss her in return.

Of course she would choose now, when his resolve wavered, to tempt him. Loki stood, lifting her in his arms. What she must think of that, he had not a clue. With a smile, he settled her gently on the chair and stood to his full height. He stripped down to just his trousers again, aware of what she might think if he took off more, and kissed the top of her head. "I release you to sleep if you so desire." He headed for his bed. His nice, big, soft, warm bed. He collapsed into it with little ado.

Nancy reached out to touch his skin as he stripped in front of her, but pulled her hand back as he moved away. It all happened so quickly. First he'd wanted to spend time with her, then he wanted to sleep. Would every day be like this?

"What if…?" she began, "What if I don't desire it? Not right now. What if… I desire something else?" She glanced over at him and saw him lying in his bed. "Never mind. You look too tired. Just go to sleep." She stood and moved toward the chaise.

Somewhat awake again, Loki sat up and stared at her. With all her words, she had finally managed to confuse him. She couldn't possibly mean what he thought. "What _else_ could you possibly desire?"

Well, there was a lot she desired from him. A lot she couldn't say aloud. She nervously played with the corner of the blanket on her bed. "You." she whispered, then spoke louder, "To lay with you. _Next_ to you." She cleared her throat nervously, wanting nothing more than this whole awkward moment to end. She'd misspoken and taken the different connotations of 'lay' into account a moment too late. To a modern American, two people can lay together without being intimate, such as when a couple simply lays on a couch to watch a movie. But, to a regal Asgardian, who used an older form of the English language with older connotations, two people laying together meant something entirely different. A meaning she'd only meant in her wildest fantasies. And, unwittingly, she'd admitted it aloud.

He smirked. Ah, yes, he had succeeded in wiggling just a little bit into her mind. And her unintentional double-entendre only sweetened his night. One of the loveliest things about having a wordsmith was listening to her fumble for the correct words. He couldn't have asked for a more entertaining situation. "If you choose to occupy a place beside me, rest assured I can by no means keep to myself."

Nancy blushed and nodded her acknowledgment of the terms. "This is the most I've ever seen of you. The kindest you've ever been. I just want to be close to you, is all."

Disappointing. He had thought she would have stronger desires than that. But, if she insisted... " _Once_. Next time I will not be so lenient." He flopped back on the bed.

Nancy smiled and climbed into the bed, snuggling up close to him. She blushed a bit more as she felt his skin against her hand, and silently hoped he'd put his arm around her. "Why would you want to do that to a 'pet' anyway?" she asked after a moment, noting what he'd assumed she'd wanted, "We're two completely different species."

"Why would you assume _that_ is what I meant?" He turned to look down at her.

"Well, what did you mean?" She threw the question back at him.

"What did you have in mind when you asked, little one?" He raised an eyebrow, refusing to give in. He had to know what she had really meant when she stammered her request. Had her intentions really been so sincere? Or had she only spoken what she truly thought?

Nancy sighed and glanced away. "I didn't want our moment to end." she explained, hoping she wasn't making a fool of herself, "I guess I was just seeking… affection. I've had such a wonderful day. And you looked so tired. I wanted to spend this evening with you and help you unwind. I just wanted to spend time with you."

"I meant what you thought when you asked why I would do that to a pet." He paused to consider what she had just revealed. She _wanted_ to be close to him. No one had ever... said that aloud before. He cleared his throat. "I will lecture you later on the species misconception."

"Oh. I guess I thought you'd meant you wanted to be… intimate. And I was surprised you'd want that with a 'pet'. I'm just an animal to you. A _pet_. You're a god, Loki. Or so you claim. I'm just… me." Nancy could feel the tears brimming in her eyes. She wanted to be so much more to him. To be so much more than a pet. But he would never have her. She was a mortal. And not the best of the species, either.

"Make no mistake. Not one of my pets is 'just' anything. You are mine, and therefore you are extraordinary."

"What? Because you put a golden collar on me?" Her tears finally spilled over. "I read books for a living! I read people! How is that extraordinary? How am _I_ extraordinary?"

Loki quickly propped himself up on an elbow to loom over her. How could she not see her worth? "You verge on obstinance, pet, which will not end well. I suggest you learn your place quickly."

Nancy took in a shaky breath to calm herself. She _was_ no more than a pet to him. A dog that had barked too loudly. "I'm sorry." she whispered. Silently, she moved out of the bed and back over to the chaise. There was no way he'd want her near him after that. In that moment, she felt so inferior to him. As if she was little more than a worm. A little earthworm for him to crush with his words. She sobbed softly.

Loki flopped back against the pillow. He hadn't meant to drive her away. Leave it to him to push away the only person that had ever shown any affection for him, other than his mother. He half-sighed and half-growled. His anger often got the best of him, and she knew how to push all his buttons. Maybe this was for the best. Tonight.

As Nancy slipped under her velvet cover, she heard his growl. "I didn't mean to upset you, Loki. …Er, master." she whimpered, her voice shaking, "I just… I… I'm sorry." She turned so that her back was to him, her face buried in the corner of the chaise.

He rolled over, quickly tiring of the conversation and, quite frankly, hurt by her words. "Sleep. We will discuss this later."

But she knew they wouldn't. He'd said it with the same tone he used when he told her he'd return later. The same tone that told her she'd be alone for days. They would never speak of this matter again.

Quietly, Nancy allowed her tears to envelope her. She hadn't meant to anger him. She was only expressing her mind. But in her expression, she'd assumed a spot equal to him. And _that_ is what caused him to shut down. If only she could go back and remedy her mistake. If only they could start again. Thinking on these despairing thoughts, Nancy sniffled as softly as she could, not wanting to anger him further.

" _Silence_!" He rubbed at his head, tired and cranky. A very bad combination if she wanted to talk. "How do you expect me to sleep when you are creating such racket?"

"I'm sorry, master." Her words barely made it to the surface. She lay still and quiet, barely breathing, lest she bother him again. Her very existence seemed to bother him at this point.

All she wanted was to go back to her cell. To remove herself from his presence. She'd been mistaken. He obviously didn't want her anywhere near him. This was a horrible idea. To be his pet. As if he could care for her. As if he would love her. Nancy sobbed again.

Eventually, despite her evident sorrow, Loki found himself falling asleep.

Soon, Nancy heard his soft snoring. He'd fallen asleep. Here she was crying her eyes out, and he fell asleep. He didn't care for her. She was just a plaything.

With another choked-back sob, Nancy stood and found her way to the golden doors in the darkness. She'd find her own way back down to the dungeons. She'd sit outside her cell if she had to. Or outside his room. Anywhere else but in here with him.

The snake slithered down toward the door. He would watch her while Loki slept, channeling anything terrible or disturbing into his dreams so he would wake.

With one look back, Nancy reached out and took the knob in her hands. She stood there, so ready for her freedom, but could only look at him. He looked so peaceful, the moonlight softening his features. His steady, calm breathing. And she was supposed to be right there beside him, curled in his arms. He'd called her extraordinary, yet she lashed out at him. It was her own fault she'd been pushed away. She'd caused this.

A soft sigh escaped her lips. She couldn't leave him. Not only would he be furious, but the act would only serve to hurt him more. In her anger and self-loathing, she'd twisted his compliment and thrown it back at him. If she left on top of that, he'd never forgive her.

Slowly, Nancy made her way back over to the chaise. For a moment, she debated on joining him in his bed again, but knew the opportunity was gone. So, instead, she lay back on the chaise and covered herself with the velvet blanket.

She lay there for hours, thinking of his words. How he'd called her extraordinary and deemed her as his. The more she thought on it, the guiltier she felt. Finally, halfway through the night, Nancy fell asleep, her mind settled in her decision. She would remedy this. No matter the cost. She couldn't lose him so soon.


	32. Chapter 32

Nancy slowly opened her eyes the next morning, squinting at the dawn sunlight. It poured in through the sheer curtains, giving the room a hazy, golden glow. She sighed, remembering the events of the previous night.

She hadn't meant to upset Loki. She'd simply misunderstood his meaning. When he called her extraordinary, she assumed he'd meant she was extraordinary because she was his. Her extraordinary status was a direct result of his possession of her. But, upon further thought and analysis of Loki's sudden shift in mood, Nancy was left to conclude that Loki's statement had been a compliment all along. Not the claim of power she'd originally taken it as.

Nancy rolled to her side and lay there, watching Loki sleep. A slight smile crossed her features as she watched him. The gentle rise and fall of his chest. His soft, steady breaths. How peaceful he looked. He wasn't the villain everyone made him out to be. He wasn't heartless. He just needed a friend. A companion to care for him. To be the only one on his side, when the rest of the world turned against him. She wanted to be that person. Wanted him to allow her to be that person.

" _You are mine, and therefore you are extraordinary."_

She moved her attention to the window and gazed out at the dawning sun as his words resounded through her mind over and over again. Logically, the way his sentence was constructed, she'd assumed correctly. 'Therefore' was a clausal word. It denoted the effect of something. The effect of his possession of her was that she was extraordinary. She was only extraordinary because she was one of Loki's pets, as if that status gave her some sort of unspoken rank. And while it might be true that her status as a pet did allow her some rank, as shown by the bowing and respect the handmaidens gave her, her extraordinary-ness was not a result of her status. Loki had never meant that. Rather, he'd meant the exact opposite of his cause-effect construction. Her extraordinary-ness was not dependent on his possession of her, but rather his possession of her was dependent on her extraordinary-ness. In short, she was extraordinary, and therefore he made her his. He took possession of her because she was extraordinary, and he simply had to have her as his own.

Nancy brushed a tear away as she thought on his words and meaning. She'd been so cruel to him, throwing his words and actions back at him. But she would put everything right again. She had to.

The soft sound of rustling covers made her turn her attention back toward the bed. Loki stirred slightly, as if he was waking. Nancy took this opportunity to slowly approach him. His eyes were still closed and he still breathed steadily, obvious signs of sleep. Slowly, and as softly as she could, Nancy crept onto the covers and lay gently on his chest. She kissed the side of his neck and whispered a soft, "good morning". She had to apologize for all the wrong she'd done. And this was a good way to start.

Loki breathed deeply and opened his eyes. He couldn't say that was a bad way to start a morning. He had specifically driven her back to the chaise the night before, but he wouldn't quibble over such a trivial matter. She had returned to him, as he had hoped she would, and not lay next to him with great sorrow in her eyes. What guilty conscience she must have dealt with to be so apologetic? What thoughts had graced her beautiful head in the night to drive her back to him? He knew she overthought many things, and perhaps in this instance that had proven more to his advantage than he expected. When the night had begun, he had intended to fall asleep with her braced against him. He wished it could have been that way, but then again perhaps she had needed the time to really think through what he had said. What she had said in return. Either way, this looked promising.

Loki looked down at her with a smirk, his eyes barely open yet his mind fully awake. "And who gave you permission to freely kiss me whenever you so desire?"

Nancy glanced up at him and saw his smirk. She gave him one in return, shrugged, and moved down to his shoulder. "Do you want me to stop?"

No. He didn't. He sorely wanted to see where she would take this little charade of hers. "I said no such thing."

Nancy sat up slightly and gazed down into his beautiful green eyes. "Master, I want to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have lashed out like that. I… I suppose I misunderstood your meaning. But I've thought about what you said. And I understand now. That was the _nicest thing_ anyone has said to me in a long, long time. So, thank you. And I _am_ sorry."

Her charade had ended too soon, but she was a quick study, Loki decided. Angering him was a terrible idea, and the apology was welcomed. Although, she still felt in charge. He needed her to realize she wasn't. He wrapped a leg up and around her hip and used the momentum to flip them over so that he hovered above her. "Do not do so again. Do you understand?"

Suddenly, Nancy found herself cocooned in his sheets, with him above her. She blinked and swallowed. "Yes, sir. I understand." Timidly, she leaned up and gave him a soft kiss. "Could we do something together today? Just me and you? I want to see Asgard. And the palace."

"I have business to attend, pet." He pressed closer to hover inches from her lips. Teasing, taunting. "But after that... we shall see."

Nancy gasped softly as she realized how close his lips were. All she had to do was press her lips to his, and she'd have him for her own. "I'll wait for you." she whispered, leaning closer and nearly closing the distance. She slipped her arms out of the covers and let her hands rest on his back, feeling his skin beneath her fingers. "Now, about my breakfast… what will this get me?" Nancy closed the distance and let her lips find his. She acted on instinct, letting their former passionate kisses be her guide. Her love and desire for him poured into the passion of the kiss, drawing her deeper.

Oh, she _was_ learning. And he would not complain. He returned the kiss, just as passionately. His hand fisted into her soft, pliable hair. She had no idea the things she awoke in him. Things he had long thought dead. A thawing in the area of his heart had alerted him to these feelings he held. She didn't realize how sorely she tested his self-control and patience. How much this temptation called to him, and how restrained he forced himself to be so she would not frighten and skitter away. Working on his own instinct, he moved to straddle her completely so he could deepen the erotic kiss.

This was all she'd ever wanted. To be equal with him. To know his true desires. His passions and dreams. To know his heart and soul. Nancy let her hands wander up to his shoulders and neck. Oh, how she wanted this moment to last forever. How she longed to tell him how much she wanted him. How she wished she could be his lover instead of his pet. Finally, needing air, she was forced to pull away. Not quite finished kissing him, however, she gave him a few more soft kisses. Anything to make the moment last just a little longer.

Loki didn't move from his position atop her, but rather chuckled at her boldness. She should know better than to tease him. Still, he answered truthfully the question she had posed, "Any meal you bloody well please." He kissed her again, even more passionately if that were possible.

Nancy wrapped her arms tightly around him, as if she could keep him from leaving again. If only she could make him stay. Or if only she could go with him.

And then she felt a hand on her hip. A hand fisted in her dress. "Wait. Please." she gasped, pulling away from him. "Not yet. I _do_ want this… but not yet."

He hid his mischievous smile. She had brought this entire thing on herself. Yet, in her coy game she had revealed the truth. A truth he had longed to hear from her. "Do you want me to stop?" he parroted her earlier words. It didn't matter if she did or did not. He liked to make her squirm, even if it was ever so slightly.

Oh, that was such a difficult question. Her heart told her no. She didn't want him to stop. But, for now, logic would win. Their relationship was one of pet and master. She wasn't his lover. Knowing him and his tricks, he could simply take what he wanted from her, then lock her away again until he had some use for her. Or he could sell her or shun her. Or, worst of all, kill her. She knew what he was capable of. And knew he was insane, with the added danger of a hair-trigger temper.

Nancy gazed up into his eyes, wanting nothing more than to kiss him again. Wanting to feel him against her. Wanting to be his equal. "Yes. Please stop. For now."

He ran a finger down her arm, testing her true desires. He could sense every intake of breath, every quiver of muscle under his touch. Though she had started this, wanted it even, something in either her training or her rambunctious thoughts wouldn't allow it. How he wished he knew the hindrance. Instead, he would have to work more patiently, toil through more days without her complete devotion.

"For now," Loki promised. In one swift move, he was up and off the bed, heading for the washroom. He couldn't stay, or he might do something they would both regret. If she did not want this, he had best distance himself from her until he could control his own desires. An hour, maybe two, and he would return to normal. The facade would return. He would be the Loki she knew. The _sane_ Loki, because only his insane, chaotic side would continue to tell him this whole game was a good idea.

Nancy blinked at the suddenness of his departure. In less than a moment, he was gone, the distance between them returned. But it had been such a sweet moment. And in that moment, he had been hers.

As Loki prepared to leave, Nancy moved to the edge of the bed and sprawled on her stomach, letting the panels in her skirt reveal her legs. "Don't forget about my breakfast." she reminded him, "I'll take some toast, eggs, and sausage. And some juice and coffee, too. If you don't have coffee, I suppose tea will _have_ to do." She grinned at him, "And please hurry back, master. I'll be waiting for you."


	33. Chapter 33

Throughout the day (meetings and theories again), Loki contemplated Nancy's request to do something. Together. He could very well tell her what he wanted them to do together, but she'd only retreat into herself and avoid him with a well-timed excuse. So if he wanted to do something with her, it would have to be something else. Still thinking on it, he returned to his chambers at a reasonable hour, early for once.

Nancy sat on the edge of his bed, her papers scattered around her. Her hair was swept over one shoulder and braided, held in place with a beautiful green, silk ribbon. Thankfully, the maids had brought her a new dress that morning. It was the same shade of green as the other and retained the four slits between the panels, but this dress was slightly different. A thick golden belt served as a corset, ornately decorated with a snake engraved in the Asgardian style. In the center of the belt sat a trinity-knot inlaid with emeralds. Gold and emeralds framed the top of the dress as well.

She glanced up from the tome she was reading when the large, golden doors opened. "Hello, master. Are you done with your business for the day?"

"I am." He stood tall, confident, twirling a small golden cuff bracelet in one hand. Contemplating if he really wanted to do this. He could leash her, but she would draw back into herself if he did that. If she wanted out of the room, she would have to wear something to the effect of this. He wouldn't bear any arguments.

Nancy moved her book off to the side and rubbed at her eyes. They stung from the constant strain of trying to read without her glasses. Had she been anywhere else, she would have simply given up the task of trying to read. But this was Asgard. And these books were thousands of years old. She had to try. She owed it to herself and the citizens of Earth. She had to learn the stories and legends these books held, so that maybe she could pass on the knowledge one day.

As she lowered her hand from her face, Nancy noticed the gleaming bracelet in his hand. "What's that for? Some sort of monitor or something?" She'd seen similar objects during her years working with S.H.I.E.L.D. They had special bracelets that could keep agents on probation from being able to access computers or technology. Monitors that could watch their every move. Involuntarily, Nancy's hand rose to her eyes again.

The eye drops from her satchel suddenly landed on the bed beside her. Loki looked away, toward the bracelet, and twirled it again. "I will tell all in a moment." He nodded to the drops with passive alacrity. "I refuse to allow my precious pets to endure pain. End yours."

Nancy gave a sad smile and picked up the drops, turning the bottle over in her hand. She looked up toward her captor again. "The drops won't do much good without my contacts. My eyes hurt because I can't see." She set the drops down on the bed again and stood to move her papers to the dining table. "At least, not very well." she continued, "And I was trying to read."

"You said yourself you cannot read my volumes. But if you insist upon seeing, these _contacts_ are far better than those horrendous _glasses_." Loki rolled his eyes to emphasize the point. Whoever invented glasses had no idea how they would hide beautifully colored eyes.

Nancy giggled and turned back toward him, studying his features. How strange he was. Words that were so simple and ordinary to her were foreign to him, leading to his exaggeration in pronunciation of them. As if he wanted to draw attention to how alien the items were on Asgard. Asgardians were gods. They had no need in glasses or contacts. They were perfectly healthy, able to regenerate a thousand times faster than the average human. Their life spans consisted of thousands of years. Yet humans only received a mere hundred… if they were lucky.

How deep the comparison ran, between Nancy and a dog. Like humans' canine companions, she would only last a few short years, while Loki would live for far longer. Like a beloved household pet, she would be missed at first, then recalled with the fleeting fondness of an old, fading memory. At the thought of her, a smile would rise to Loki's lips, ever so slightly… and then he would return to whatever task he'd been busy with, letting the memory recede back into the recesses of his mind.

How handsome he looked, as Nancy watched him. His beauty would not fade. Not for thousands of years. He would remain strong and brave and so vastly intelligent. Regal and royal and charming. After he became bored with his obsession, he'd turn from her. Turn to other things that pleased him. Asgardian women far more beautiful than herself. She would never see him again after that. He'd place her back in her cage, like a doll on a shelf. Because he was immortal. The king of the great realm of Asgard. And she was only Nancy McAllister of Earth. A name among the rest.

Nancy snapped out of her daze and attempted to mask her gloom with a smile. But her pain was evident on her face. Tears glistened behind her eyes. "Where are my contacts?" Her hand rose to her eyes again, this time to conceal the tears that threatened to spill over. "You took my satchel."

Loki smiled. He liked the gentle timbre of her laugh, and made a mental note to make her laugh more often so he might hear it. Yet, the tears he could do without. What had her thoughts landed on that made her weep? He wished he could banish the thought, but as he could not... With little thought, a sound much like a feline's purr resounded from his throat. A white cat streaked through the slightly ajar door and launched itself into his arms. He caught it easily.

The sound that he made surprised her. She'd never heard a person make that noise before. The sudden cat in his arms surprised her even more. Nancy hesitantly stepped closer. "Aren't you afraid of getting hairs on your armor?" His perfect, shining golden armor. Armor that was polished so well it reflected all light, like a mirror.

He chuckled. She would never believe the answer he would give her. Magic. "This is Crea." He leaned down to the cat's ear and whispered a simple phrase. Crea leapt from Loki's arms and began jumping from shelf to shelf, going higher with each bound.

Nancy could only watch in stunned amazement as the white cat made its way up to the top of the bookshelf. "You have a trained cat. You have successfully done what no human ever could."

"I am not human." He watched Crea deftly find her way to the top shelf. She wiggled her entire body inside his pet's satchel and exited seconds later. She started back down the shelves.

Oh, how very right he was. He was not human. He would never be human. And that was what made them so different. No matter how alike they seemed at times, no matter how much she loved him… he would never, ever be human. And she would never, ever be Asgardian.

Nancy stooped down and held her hand out to the creature. "Come here, Crea. Bring them here."

Crea passed her and returned to Loki instead. She rubbed up against his legs, purring the whole time. The contacts case still securely in her mouth. He reached down to retrieve her and slid the case from her with ease. She rubbed against him again. He tossed a look to Nancy and answered with apologetic sarcasm. "I fear she only answers to me."

Nancy caught the tone in his voice. How he mocked her. Reminded her yet again that she was only his pet. That she and the cat ranked the same. Of course the cat wouldn't listen to her. What right did she have to order the cat to do anything? She was its equal. Equal to a housecat.

She lifted her chin to combat her bitterness and held her hand out to him. "May I have them now?"

Loki held the case out of Nancy's grasp. Not hard, as he towered over her. He reached with his other hand to pet Crea, who had successfully perched on his shoulder. "Ask nicely," he commanded.

"May I have my contacts, master?" It took everything within her not to spit the words at him. To act polite and respectful to this horrid, cruel man.

"Better." He lowered his hand so she could take them from him.

Nancy took them from him and marched to the washroom to rinse them off. As she entered the room, she saw her reflection in the mirror. The same tears that had threatened to run. Deftly, Nancy grabbed a rag and dipped it in the pitcher of water, hoping the coolness of the water on her eyes would cause the redness to go away. She would not cry. Not in front of him. It wasn't his fault anyway. He could not help what he was any more than she could help her own heritage. They were simply two separate species. She was on another planet and she was the alien. She did not belong here and she never would. She simply had to accept that. Soon, she placed the lenses in her eyes and returned to the main chamber.

As she made her way back out into the main room, Nancy could only gasp at the beauty. Now that everything was clear, she could see every detail. Every engraving and etching. The delicate gold and green trim. How the sun shone so brightly through the curtains, as they sparkled in the light. How regal everything seemed. So beautiful, as if she stood in the center of a grand painting. So surreal, as if it was all a dream.

"Are you quite well now?" Loki removed Crea from his shoulder and stroked her fur one more time before he settled her on the ground. "Find Calder." Crea scurried off to do as commanded.

He felt horrid for making her cry, but her place was not yet equal to his own. She must learn, still, the ways of palace life. She didn't truly want him, not if she couldn't stand him at his worst. One day, he would show his worst, and she would no doubt take the brunt of his anger. He did not want her to want him. He wanted her to see the monster everyone else saw. Perhaps then, he could banish these feelings inside him.

"Yes. Much better." Nancy stepped closer and glanced down to the bracelet in his hand. "Now, what's with that thing?"

Loki held it up to the light. He had almost forgotten about it. One simple instrument, a means to an end. He might as well get on with it. "Come here."

Nancy stepped just close enough to do as commanded. But she was still so unsure of his motives. There was something to the bracelet. He would not give her jewelry for no reason. Even the collar had a purpose. Yes, part of that was her own humiliation. But, aside from that, it was a tracker. The bracelet would not be for that, she was sure. So… what would it do?

He waited until she was close enough for his purposes, then decided to see how well she obeyed. He was on a roll today, jerking tears from her endlessly. He might as well press on in that vein. "Your wrist, pet. Hold it up for me."

She looked down at the bracelet one more time, contemplating his request. He was going to put it on her, one way or another. She could either comply and remain in right standings with him, or refuse and incur his wrath. Hesitantly, Nancy lifted her wrist. "Remember, no shock collars or shock _bracelets_ please."

Well, it was almost complete obedience. He slid the thing onto her wrist. "Shock? Oh, no, nothing that terrible. Unless you attempt to remove it. No, this only ensures you do not stray."

"And how will it ensure that?" She slid her finger under the clasp and tugged ever so slightly. The tip of her finger received the smallest zap, as if she'd touched a doorknob after walking across a carpet. She yelped and lifted her finger to her lips, tending her mild wound.

"If you do so _happen_ to stray to a... certain distance of measure, it will ensure you do not move and summon me to your location."

"A paralysis bracelet? Fascinating!" Nancy turned her wrist over, looking for any sign of electrical engineering on the metal. "How does it work? Energy pulses? Injection?"

"I shan't tell you. Though you may surmise to your heart's content." Loki grinned, sure she would never figure out the mechanism.

"Aw. Darn." Nancy smiled and looked up at him, studying his face once again. He looked so much better when he smiled. When he allowed the light in his heart and his eyes to shine forth. "Can we go now?"

Loki glanced behind himself, to the open door. "You are so eager, pet. So eager for everything. I only wonder, why is this? Your insatiable propensity to jump in before you've thought things through entirely."

She shrugged. It was a fitting definition of her character. She didn't often think things through. And that's what got her in trouble. But she couldn't help herself, no matter how hard she tried. "I prefer to plan as I go." she explained, "To see where life takes me. Although, I tend to adapt quickly, and that helps. And… I'm sick of being stuck in one room. I'm going stir crazy."

He didn't understand the expression. How did one go 'stir crazy'? He shrugged it off, as it wasn't important. He would simply research it at a later date. He didn't understand half her expressions, but context usually helped. He focused his attention on his plans for the afternoon. "Speak to no one and maintain your submissive behavior."

"Yes, sir." She nodded her acknowledgment, "But, may I speak to you?"

"As long as we are alone and no one else demands my immediate attention, you may."

"But there are guards everywhere. Does that still count as being alone?" Nancy crossed her arms. "And why can't I talk to you around people? It's not like I'm one of your servants."

"So many questions!" She contained boundless energy, didn't she? Oh, the things he could do with such a one. The things he _wanted_ to do. He sighed, exasperated. "One is never truly alone in my palace. Guards are fixtures."

"I get that. I'm used to guards and soldiers." She went to the door and peeked out, studying the stone hallways. The hallways she'd only seen in darkness before. How different they would look during the day. "Come on, there's an entire _palace_ out there. An Asgardian palace! I wanna see it. I wanna see all of Asgard." Nancy turned and smiled at him. "I wanna see where you grew up."

"You will maintain your decorum and cease this endless childlike energy that exudes from you." He grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving before he did. There will still things to get across to her, and he needed her to listen. He tried not to squeeze so hard that it bruised. That would be unfortunate, black and blue marring her perfect porcelain skin. "You will not run, nor shout, nor throw yourself at every pretty decoration you see. Do I make myself abundantly clear?"

How insulting. She wasn't five. She was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D for goodness sake. Of course she knew how to handle herself. Nancy took a breath to regain her composure. "Yes, sir. Crystal clear."

"Very well." He stepped out of the door and straightened his shoulders. This afternoon could prove interesting. Or exhausting. "I suppose we will begin our walk in the kitchens. Follow me."


	34. Chapter 34

As Loki started out the door, Nancy quickly turned and snatched a piece of paper and one of her pens off the dining table. If she was going on a tour of the alien palace, she was going to take notes. As many as she possibly could. She would never have this opportunity again, and she wanted to take advantage of it.

Nancy soon joined him in the hall and gawked at the stonework around her. The grand statues. The columns. The vaulted ceilings and archways. The rivers and bridges that ran here and there outside, framed by the intricately carved stonework of the entrances to the balconies. It was all so beautiful. Far beyond anything she'd ever seen before.

She stopped in the midst of a stream of light that came pouring in from an open terrace and gazed out at the wonder of Asgard. The shining sea down below. The mountains in the distance. The gentle dance of the colors and stars in the sky, all while it was yet day. And then there was the beautiful city. Each road an atrium to the palace, the heart and soul of Asgard. Flying vehicles with golden wings soared across the sky. In the distance, towers circled one another in an endless dance, hovering feet above the ground. It was all more than she could have ever imagined. More than she could have dreamed. She glanced down at the paper in her hand and made a few notes.

 _I cannot put into words the wonder I feel. How beautiful everything is. To attempt to describe this place would fall shamefully short. The sea looks as if it's made of glass. Proud mountains touch the sky. Golden, flying ships cross the skies. I wonder every day if Asgard truly is heaven. I think, perhaps, it is._

Loki glanced at her and rolled his eyes. Of course she was taking her ridiculous notes. Did she never cease? Could she not enjoy pleasure for what it was? Soon, they arrived at the kitchens and he pushed open the door, not bothering to hold it open for her. As he walked, he snatched a roll off a nearby table.

Nancy, too caught up in her descriptions, didn't bother to look up. She ran smack into the door.

"Be mindful of your surroundings, pet." He took a bite of the roll in his hand. She never ceased to amuse. If she hadn't insisted on scribbling on that paper, she would not have run into the door.

"I know. I'm just..." she opened the door and continued on, rubbing her head where she'd hit it. "A bit off my game lately." Once Nancy recovered her bearings, she folded her paper to give it more support and dropped her hand to her paper again. This time, her eyes never left the scene before her.

The kitchens were dark and warm, the intense smell of cooking meat, baking bread, and burning wood all blending together to stifle and thicken the air. Cooks and servants called to one another as workers scurried past. Pigs and fowl hung from hooks along the ceiling. Another, smaller beast turned on a spit inside a large fireplace.

Nancy's forehead began to dampen with sweat from the heat. Yet she continued, relentlessly, in her constant note-taking. She had to document everything. Every word, every glance, every item. As far as she knew, she was the only human to ever experience Asgard like this. The only tie Earth had to the alien culture. It was her duty to record everything.

Loki stopped at the far end of the room and turned. He tossed her a concerned look, then strode the distance between them. He towered over her, looking down at the paper in her hands. He couldn't help his scowl. He had meant to enjoy the afternoon, see her wonder, not read her noes in the aftermath. "What are you scribbling about?"

Nancy jolted when she heard his voice and immediately focused on him again. She'd been so intent on recording the world around her, she'd nearly forgotten about him. She held her paper out to him and showed him her short-hand notes.

"Currently, the types of food you eat." Nancy began, "I'd say this set up mirrors that of the Renaissance era of England. And yet there are hints of the Victorian era. With a splash of modernity here and there as well. I see you have some sort of meat roasting over a fireplace. Interesting. With a palace this size and with the electrical capabilities, I'd expect you'd have an oven large enough to roast it. And yet it's over a fire. The same with the kettle, there." She motioned to it with her pen. "It's hanging directly over the fire. Why not boil the water on the stove? Or simply use magic? This is all very fascinating."

"You asked for an outing, not permission to scrawl away the afternoon. And, quite frankly, it is miraculous that I have conceded to this without asking a favor." He purposely glanced to the notes in her hand. His scowl returned. If he had known paper and pens would cause such detriment, he would never have granted them to her. "Do you wish to see the palace, or do you not?"

"Yes. Sorry." Nancy frowned and set the paper down on a nearby table, tucking the pen behind her ear as she did so. "It's just that old habits die hard, ya know?"

He nodded at her, satisfied. "This way." For good measure, he snatched the paper before he headed for the door again. Then she couldn't go back to it. He wanted her attention, not her flippancy. He would destroy the paper, but she would only yell and possibly cry. He couldn't stand her tears again. So he stored it and made a mental note to return it later. Until then, he needed to cool his temper. He walked with purpose.

Nancy followed him in silence. She could tell she'd upset him. From his tone and words, she could tell he'd wanted her full attention. Yet here she was, more focused on everything _except_ him. She hurried along and walked by his side. Perhaps he did want her companionship after all.

He turned another corridor, finding himself in very familiar territory. He wouldn't speak a word to her about where they were headed next. She didn't need to know, and he wished to see the look on her face when she found herself in one of his most treasured rooms. The thought amused him, perhaps even brought him excitement. Not that he would allow her to see.

"Everything is so beautiful." Nancy commented, trying to lighten the mood. Her hand barely brushed the back of his, testing to see if he truly wanted her companionship. She had to know how much he wanted her attention. How he truly felt. "What was it like growing up here?"

He grimaced. She should know. Although, the brief touch to his fingers had felt nice. Still, she had dredged up too many bad memories. " _Interesting_ , to be sure."

"Oh. Right." Nancy drew her hand back and folded them in front of her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to touch on old wounds." She'd caught little snippets of information here and there. Little pieces that helped shape the puzzle of Loki's life. The fact that he'd been adopted and that his birth father had denied him. Combined with the fact that his adoptive father had also denied him. She could sense how thick the tension ran between Loki and his family. How alone he must have felt.

She unfolded her hands again and moved a step closer. If he wanted the comfort, all he had to do was seek it.

He turned another corner and exhaled heavily. He had to cut her some slack. If he never offered a truce, she would never learn to trust him. Yet, of course she knew. She knew more than anyone, even if she didn't realize it. "I had forgotten Thor's chattiness."

"I told you," Nancy replied as gently as she could, "It wasn't Thor. I don't think he'd give away information like that. All he told us was that you're adopted. Either your own words or actions told me the rest. I just know how to read people. How to put pieces together. It's a skill it's taken me years to master." Her hand brushed his again. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry."

"I do not wish to speak of it." He easily pushed open the grand double doors and entered the royal library. His own personal library. The shelves extended all the way up to the fifty-foot ceiling. No one ever ventured inside other than him, save for some guards on occasion and his closest friends... when he had them. Its grandeur went unspoiled by those unworthy to tread within. Just the way he liked it.

Nancy stopped at the entrance, having to lean against the framework for support. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes wide. All breath left her body and her heart felt as if it would stop. "When the Norse spoke of Asgard as a heaven…" she whispered, her eyes never leaving the shelves upon shelves of books, "They weren't kidding."

He turned a circle as he entered, already lost in the trance of the books. He could almost forget she stood behind him. "We shan't be disturbed here." With that, he left her alone and headed for one of his favorite shelf sections.

Nancy slowly made her way into the library, still gawking at the massive hoard of books. She had stumbled upon the richest treasure she'd ever seen. Her legs buckled as she leaned her head back to stare up at the shelves, causing her to collapse into a nearby chair. Yet she remained undaunted, lost in her own trance from the books.

Secretly, over the spine of one of his favorite books, Loki watched her. He noted each nuance. Each twitch of an eyebrow and gape of her mouth. Each step she took. How could one person possess so many small ticks that he wanted so badly to memorize? The doors clicked closed and locked.

Nancy snapped out of her daze when she heard the doors lock. She immediately turned and raced back to them, pulling and pushing. But nothing happened. "Um... Master?" Nancy spun and looked at him, her eyes mirroring those of a frightened rabbit, "I think the doors... locked."

He barely glanced to them. She was so beautiful when she was frightened of him. Did she not know that? Never mind that he still watched her intensely. Never mind that he should ease her mind somehow. "Does this make you uncomfortable?"

"What? Me? No." She put on her best façade and strolled over to the nearest shelf. "Of course it doesn't. Not a bit."

"Your distraction says otherwise." He returned his book and took out another. "Tell me, what frightens you so?"

Nancy sighed and turned to look at him. "The fact that I don't know what you're planning." she answered honestly.

"What makes you think I plan anything?" He flipped open the book and skimmed the first page. He had memorized this one years ago. He returned it with ease.

"You _locked the doors_." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him accusingly. "You know I could scream bloody murder and your guards still wouldn't rush to help. You locked the doors for a reason."

He laughed at her uneasiness and pulled out another book. "I always lock the doors, pet. I told you we would not be disturbed."

A smile played at the corners of her lips when she heard his laugh, but she dropped it again as her fear returned. "I think you have a fear that we _would_ be disturbed, for whatever reason. I want to know what that reason is."

"I _always_ lock the doors, pet." He kept this book. It was the one he had been looking for anyway. He headed for the back of the library, aiming for a table. They could hole up here for hours and he wouldn't mind. Not with his book and her uncertainty.

Fine. Be that way. She'd just stay up at the front of the library, where it was safe.

Loki flopped into a chair and swung his legs onto the table. He flipped to the first page, devouring the words. She could whine all she wanted. This was how he loved to spend time in his library.

Finally, curiosity got the best of her. Nancy peaked around one of the bookshelves and watched him. "And don't you try to scare me with that doppleganger trick again." she warned, "It won't work."

He sighed and shifted positions. Then leaned his chair back on its hind legs. Yes. Much better.

Nancy continued watching him, waiting to see if he would fall. Nathan did that once. It hadn't ended well. He'd had to go down to the medical ward and get stitches. She shook her head at the thought of her time within S.H.I.E.L.D. "One of my team did that once." Nancy commented, "Snapped the leg and nearly broke his head open when he hit the desk."

"Reading." He raised an eyebrow. She really couldn't be silent, could she? He played with the edge of the book pages. What would she do next?

Nancy sighed and glanced around at the books. Books that told the story of all the realms of the universe. Yet suddenly they didn't matter. She couldn't read them anyway. She'd wanted to spend time with Loki, and thought he wanted to spend time with her. But now he was ignoring her. She looked back at him again, longing for him to put his book down and simply _talk_ to her.

He glanced sideways at her. The irritation radiated off her in waves. At least now she understood his frustration with her. "You know, it is very disconcerting to feel eyes watching my every move."

"Really?" Nancy retorted with a huff, "I thought you'd be used to it by now."

Now that just hurt. Had she any idea how he hated the feeling of eyes on his neck? He narrowed his eyes. "Do not force me to lull you to sleep to cease your behavior."

"What would you _rather_ me do?"

"Find some employment, sit silently, wander the shelves. Only cease this prattle." With a definitive glare, he returned to his book. He was fully engrossed in seconds.

With another sigh, Nancy turned and pulled the first book she saw from the shelf. She flipped it open and fanned the pages, glancing over the strange, alien symbols. She slammed it closed and put it back. This was hopeless. She'd never be able to get any sort of work done with him there. As soon as she'd begin her work, he'd choose that moment to wander over and read over her shoulder. He'd only do it to annoy her, too.

With one last, longing glance, Nancy started for the very back of the library. Along the walls, there were little rooms here and there. Nooks where one could read in silence. She considered going into one of these to begin her work, but as she neared one of the doors, a soft glow caught her eye. Something in the back of the library was shining. A soft blue hue lit the back walls and shimmered, as if it was alive.

Nancy studied the light for a moment, then began to wander towards it. Soon, a large tree came into view. It stretched up to the ceiling of the library, its green leaves sparkling with the light. The light itself seemed to emanate from the trunk of the tree. Grand roots overgrew the pot where the tree was planted, spilling over onto the floor. As Nancy approached, she noticed that there were different colored circles hidden among the branches. As she moved closer, she realized the circles contained images of people and creatures, like videos that were playing through circular windows. She reached up and touched the nearest one, causing the screen to ripple and shimmer as her hand passed through it.

She took a step back and counted them. There were nine. The nine realms of the Yggdrasil. Nancy gasped and stumbled backward. Surely this wasn't _the_ Yggdrasil. The realms were said to be placed within its branches. So this must be a replica. A living scale-model of the original. It was so beautiful.

And here she was enjoying all of this beauty without anyone to share it with. Loki was too busy. He was always too busy for her. He always said he would return. And eventually he did… only to leave again. Most of the time she'd been on Asgard, she was alone. He brought her here to study her, but spent most of his time away from her. Shunned her, as if she really was no more than one of his pets. Yes, he gave her just enough food, water, and affection to survive on, but that was it. She was just surviving.

Nancy walked over to a row of bookshelves and peered between them, watching Loki again. He was still engrossed in his book. He'd spent his whole life alone. Why would her presence make any difference to him? She debated on simply going over to him and crawling in his lap to get his attention, but that would only serve to anger him and reinforce her image as a pet even more.

With another sigh, Nancy glanced back at the Yggdrasil and studied the screen of Earth. Her life hadn't been any better there. She'd simply masked it better. Hiding behind her work and her desk and her title. But she was just as alone as he was.

She looked back at him and gave a definitive nod. Something had to change. They couldn't continue on like this, always remaining only one step away from each other. Nancy scooped up a nearby pile of books and started back toward Loki.

She'd get his attention. Somehow.


	35. Chapter 35

As Nancy started toward Loki, her books ready to drop from her arms, her resolve wavered. She stopped at the corner of one of the smaller tables and looked him over again. How regal and superior he looked with his legs propped up on the table in front of him. It was a posture of power and aloofness. He seemed relaxed, as if he was transported so far away in his book that he could no longer see or hear her, much less care about her.

An image suddenly flashed in Nancy's mind. She remembered back to when she'd been in the cell. The night Loki had muzzled her. She remembered how close she'd tried to get to him. Hugging him in an effort to gain his forgiveness for she knew not what. But he'd growled at her and shrugged her off. The image changed again. This time, she saw herself sobbing over her strewn trinkets. She'd hugged him again in an effort for closeness, but he'd only pushed her away. Then there was last night. She joined him in his bed and tried to have a civil conversation with him, but as soon as she spoke as his equal, he shut her down and warned her of her obstinacy.

Nancy glanced down to the books on the table. A moment before, she'd hoped to ask him to read one of them to her so they could both enjoy the book together. It didn't matter if she understood it or not. She merely wanted to hear the sound of the alien language slipping from his lips. But now… now she knew better than to disturb him. If he had wanted to do anything with her, they would've already been doing it. Instead, he merely locked the doors and shut themselves in. Just because they were in the same room together, didn't mean they were _doing_ something together.

With a sigh, Nancy picked the books up again and made her way towards him. She stopped next to Loki and glanced down at him, but said nothing. After an awkward moment or two of complete silence, Nancy finally resolved to sit on the floor next to him. She waited to see if he'd do or say anything. If he would even notice that she was there. But all she heard was the sound of pages turning.

/

Loki didn't acknowledge her for hours, not until he had read to his heart's content. Did she even realize she ignored him as such every day, almost every time he opened enough to gather her close? She probably thought him a monster, but he had to cool the fiery dragon of his temper somehow, and reading worked grandly. Yet, he couldn't ignore her forever. With a sigh, he closed his book and easily settled the chair back on the ground. The legs hit the floor with a slight click.

Nancy heard the soft click and shifted on the floor. She had stretched out long ago and lay with one of the books over her face. She lay there for hours, thinking of her family and what her life would have been like if she hadn't been captured by Loki. Of how much she missed her sister and whether her team still cared for her. Of her relationship with James and if he would have been the one for her. "Are you finished reading?" Nancy asked halfheartedly, her voice muffled by the book.

"Did you need something more interesting to do?" He set the book down on the table and leaned forward to stare down at her. How strange her coping mechanisms were. She would never be able to read the book if she could not see the words. Then again, he reminded himself, she might not be able to read the book at all. She had never confessed to knowing Asgardian, and he really hadn't thought much of it. One day, he must show her the collection of English literature he held in his possession. Just now, he would much rather study her amusing antics.

Nancy removed the book from her face and stared at Loki upside-down. Surely he knew she wasn't able to read his books. How bored she was. "It's not like I can easily enjoy these books," she flatly replied, "So yes."

Once again, quite amusing. As though she thought he might give her something without asking a favor. He almost had, except for his slight oversight on the language barrier. He would remedy it, in time. Loki smirked at her. "And what did you have in mind?"

"I have no idea." Nancy replaced the book and gave a heavy, bored sigh. Sitting alone in the suite had been better than this. At least there she had something to do. But here, she may as well have been back in her cell.

Loki smiled at her antics. Sighs and books to cover her face. As though her boredom and disdain weren't obvious enough. Where did humans learn these quirks? He reached out and removed the book from her face. He set it aside, on the table. " _No_ idea? Pity. I would think you would have quite a few ideas."

"Well," Nancy sat up and turned to face him, letting the panel of her skirt cover her lower half as she crossed her legs. "Surely there are more rooms to your palace than the kitchen and the library." She paused, remembering palaces she had read of on Earth. Rooms that might mirror those of the Asgardian palace. "Do you have a garden?"

"We are _not_ going to the garden." Loki dropped his own book beside hers and sat back in his chair. Under no circumstances would he take her to the garden. He didn't like the memories it dredged up, both happy and sad. His mother's memory resided in those gardens, and he refused to face it with Nancy in tow. "There are parlors and the throne room and plenty of bedchambers."

"What's wrong with the garden?"

"I shan't discuss that right now." Loki shook his head. She would never understand, but she would never give up her mission. He thought quickly, mentally taking inventory of all the rooms within the palace. One in particular stood out to him. He sighed. "Although... I could show you something similar."

Nancy tilted her head, curious. "Like what?"

This was probably a terrible idea, but Loki couldn't see a better one. It wasn't the gardens, though memories still resided there. Just... fewer of them. He stood and motioned to his pet. "Follow me."

Nancy stood and quickly organized the books on the table. If she'd had the time, she would've put them all back where they belonged. But Loki was already nearing the golden doors and was waiting for her. She caught up with him as quickly as she could and followed him out into the hall.

Loki lead her down the hall and around several connecting corridors. Finally, at the middle of a particularly airy hall, he stopped at a parlor door. He could back out now, but she would complain. He had to share with someone, someday. With deft knowledge, he pushed the door open.

The room could have been part of a jungle or a forest. Plants hung from the ceiling and sprouted from walls alongside flowering vines. Flowers grew of their own accord along the perimeter and ivy curled around table legs and dormant wall hangings. Every inch carefully planted. No longer tended, it held a wild quality, but Frigga would have still loved it nonetheless.

Nancy slowly stepped into the room, gasping at the beauty. She'd never seen anything like it. Even the butterfly house at the local botanical garden back in Maryland had nothing on this place. She slowly stepped forward and turned in a full circle, studying every detail. "This is beautiful, Loki." Nancy turned to face him and smiled. "Thank you for showing me."

"It was mother's." Loki tried to shut out the memories of her working hours upon hours to make the parlor beautiful. He attempted to forget the days at her side, as she explained the plants and their medicinal qualities. Some she chose just for their beauty. Every blossom stung his heart to the core. He closed the door behind himself. It shouldn't be so hard to enter.

Nancy's smile faded as she noted the pain veiled behind his eyes. This was difficult for him. Difficult for him to speak about his mother and be where she'd been. He must have loved her dearly. Nancy stepped closer and gazed up into his eyes. What had he been like, before the pain? "What happened to her?" she asked in a whisper.

"She died." Loki shrugged, trying to make himself believe it was no big deal. In an attempt at normalcy, he strode further into the room and stopped by a flowering vine. He gingerly cupped the petals, stroking each velvety leaf in turn. Frigga would have loved to see its flowering season. She had planted it days before her death.

Nancy noticed his shrug. How he tried to pretend the loss hadn't affected him. But it clearly had. She stepped farther into the room and came to stand by his side, watching how tenderly he brushed his fingers over the plant. How much he must have missed his mother. And how much pain her loss must have caused. Nancy placed her hand on his arm, trying to show him the comfort and love she'd had for him all along. If no one else was there for him, she'd be there. As she'd vowed so long ago, she would _always_ be there for him. No matter what. "How did she die?"

Loki allowed his gaze to travel down to her fingers on his arm. A gesture of friendship she had not shown before. He blinked at the gravity of it all. One didn't have the choice to hide behind a lie when one spoke of the person they loved the most dearly. "Dark Elves," he answered quietly. He was careful not to move an inch. He didn't want her to pull away and leave him bereft and on his own. For once, he relished the companionship she offered instead of turning it away like a plague.

She instinctively held tighter, drawing him closer. She would have hugged him if she thought he'd allow it. "They attacked earth, too." Nancy explained, then looked away, not wanting to see how he'd react to what she'd reveal next. "The closest I've ever come to losing someone is when you 'died' in battle. Thor showed up one day and told me about it. How you'd died in his arms."

The memory was a painful one. Nancy remembered the endless nights when she'd cried herself to sleep. The weeks she hadn't shown up for work. How she'd torn down every picture on her office wall and only stopped when she'd seen his note – his promise that he'd be back for her. Nancy allowed the tears to rise to her eyes. She'd never loved anyone more than she loved him.

Whatever did she mean? She didn't cherish him. He had been an object of her study, that was all. Loki tilted his head to better see her, though he couldn't very well do that with her looking away. He slid a finger under her chin and turned her face to him. He searched her eyes, her expression. Anything to tell him what she had meant.

Nancy blushed and let a tear slide down her face. "I… I was devastated. I cried for weeks when I found out. Everything… _everything_ reminded me of you. I don't know why, but it did." Her voice broke and she sniffed at her freely-flowing tears, "I thought I'd never see you again."

Loki couldn't help the smile that brushed his lips. She had grown attached. It wasn't normal for anyone to even like him, let alone grow attached to him. It was a nice feeling, for once. He reached to remove a strand of hair from her face, and then to remove a flower from the vine. Without a single word, he tucked the bud behind her ear. He knew, since he had spouted so many foul things at her, his actions spoke louder than the words he cherished.

The action was one of love. Of thankfulness and closeness. Nancy leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, softly wrapping her arms around him as she did so. Suddenly, he wasn't an Asgardian god to her anymore. He wasn't her captor or master. He was her friend. And she loved him with every fiber of her being.

Did she know what she did to him? Open and vulnerable as he was while talking about his mother, could she sense his apprehension and deep desire at war within him? His hand came up of its own accord and buried itself in her soft, silken hair, just at the nape of her neck. Suddenly, he wanted more than she had offered. He stepped closer to her, strengthening the weak kiss, and wrapped his other hand around her waist. His self-control dwindled as fast as his annoyance.

All rational thought escaped her. Nancy moved even closer to him, pressing against him as their kiss intensified. She could feel his chest heaving under the leather of his armor. His muscles rippling under the cloth of his sleeves. Her hands moved up to wrap around his shoulders, holding him ever closer. She didn't want to let go or for him to pull away. She didn't want the dreaded distance to return. Everything within her screamed for him. For her to give herself to him. She wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anything.

Loki searched out her wants, mingling them with his own in a passionate kiss unlike any he had ever given. She couldn't realize how much he wanted her, all of her. Especially her heart. Where did that thought come from? She was here for him to study, nothing more, but... Could that be why he brought her here in the first place? Had he unconsciously known she held something he could not live without? He wrapped his arm around her waist to hold her to him and scrunched his fingers in her amazing hair. He could stay like this forever.

She couldn't. She couldn't give in to him so soon. No matter how much her heart longed for him, Nancy couldn't bring herself to trust him enough to surrender completely. She remembered his temper. His moods. How quickly he could go from being so kind and sweet to unruly and savage. Against her own deep desires, Nancy slowly pulled away. She leaned her forehead against his in a display of closeness and companionship, showing that she wasn't truly pulling away. "It's still too soon." she whispered, "I'm sorry."

Much too soon, Loki concurred. She didn't know what she had awakened, and he would never let it be said he did not give anyone fair warning when it came to his moods. He could not hold her longer, or he might go where she did not wish. His thoughts had already run that way once. He no longer wished to irrevocably harm her.

Loki planted one more lingering kiss to her lips, something for her to savor in the days to come. He removed his mouth from hers before he went too far again. And yet... she would expect something from him. Some word of acknowledgment. "I do not wait well, either." That hadn't come out right, but he wouldn't take it back. He couldn't let her closer than she had already come.

Nancy nodded her acknowledgment, but didn't release him. She wasn't ready for the barrier to return. Oh, if only she could trust him, she could love him all the more. But, as it was, she had overstepped her bounds already. And with the hint of a frown, she slowly let her hands slide down his back, preparing to release him… as she returned to her status as a pet.

"Thank you for this." she whispered, genuinely thankful that he'd been so open with her. Thankful that he'd finally seen her as an equal, if only for a moment.

"For what, pet?" Loki slowly released the grip he had on her hair, careful to untangle each finger before he pulled his hand away.

For everything. "For spending these past few hours with me. For showing me your mother's parlor. For just… being near me. It's all I've ever wanted."

Loki smiled. Perhaps he had neglected her, ignored her. Well, that would change. He would return to her as soon as he finished his kingly duties, and even then he was unsure if it was enough. It was all he could offer, for now. Reluctantly, Loki slid his hand from her waist, letting his fingers linger as they lifted away. He had to step away, or he might draw her back in. He forced a physical step back and focused on other things. Like... the time. Yes, they must have been there for hours.

Loki checked the window to learn the time and then glanced back to her. "The hour grows late. Do you wish to return to my chambers?"

The frown that crossed Nancy's features was visible this time. She sighed and took a step farther away from him, turning for one of the vines. "Well, what other choice is there?" This time it was her turn to caress the cherished leaves. "I'm either going to be locked away in your wonderful plush room, or locked in that horrible cell if I say no. Either way, I'm locked away."

He tilted his head in a 'that's about right' gesture. Because it was. About right. It was what he had done, and he probably deserved the chastisement. "I _did_ warn you of this. You agreed." So why did he feel such guilt?

"Yes. I know." She turned and wandered over to one of the larger plants. A white flower that glowed ever so slightly in the light of a nearby candle. "I just want to be where you are." she admitted, lightly tracing the veins of the leaves with her finger, "I'm so tired of being alone."

Loki could think of better employment of their time. Much better, but he wouldn't chance frightening her that much just yet. That kiss had opened doors in his mind that even he feared to venture through. "Off we go, then. Come on."

But she didn't want to leave. Their moment had been so sweet. Why did every moment with him have to end with walls being put back up and distance creating a gap? It was nearly tangible, the distance between them. But she _couldn't_ give in. She wouldn't. To surrender completely meant that he would take all of her, and she just wasn't ready to give herself up. He'd already taken so much from her… she wouldn't let him take that until she knew for sure that she trusted him.

"We don't have to go to bed." she suggested, finally turning to face him, "I'm sure there are plenty of nighttime activities here. I mean, surely your people do more than eat, work, and sleep, right?"

"Mm. You may, perhaps, wish to clarify." For once, and against his better judgment, Loki tried to give her a chance to clarify before he twisted her words with his mischievousness. He did not wish to frighten her further than he had.

Nancy chuckled softly as she read the intentions under his words. He was the god of mischief after all. She knew what he was thinking. "I mean something _else_. The people of old used to have feasts to celebrate their friends and families. And festivals to celebrate the seasons. Then there was star-gazing… oh! That's it! We could go out and look at the stars! You could show me all the constellations!"

"Absolutely not." It was out of the question. Absolutely ridiculous that she would even think of it. Had she not heard a word he said when she asked to be his pet? 'Locked away for months'. He specifically remembered saying that. Besides, he would ask too much of her and he wasn't ready to cease his fun just yet. Not to mention... the stars themselves. He could no longer gaze on the constellation that hung on the horizon. He started for the door.

Nancy blinked at him, then followed obediently behind. "Why not? Come on, I won't try to run away. Where would I even run to? According to legend, Asgard was built on a cloud. I'd just reach the end and fall off."

He stopped and turned on her. He wouldn't harm her. He wouldn't ask it of her. That was something she must give, herself. He narrowed his eyes. "Because you do not wish to know the favor I would require to allow you to leave the palace."

She gaped at him. He really did want all of her. And didn't care how he got it, either. A trade. A favor for a favor. She would be allowed outside… if she gave herself to him. She huffed. "I think I can handle it. Tell me."

Loki tilted his head as if to warn her and turned for the door again. He refused to entertain the thought of telling her everything he would require. Everything he wanted, despite his apprehensions.

"Don't act like I'd be shocked to know the favor." Nancy crossed her arms and stalked after him, "And don't flatter yourself. You wouldn't be my first. So don't act like I'm so fragile that it'd _shatter_ me to know the favor. Just tell me."

He pushed the doors open. Why—oh, why?—did he have such a twisted mind? Who had formed it into something she would never love, never understand? Had it all been his doing? "There is more to it than that. It only begins with the locked doors that frightened you so."

"Right. Because that makes sense. I can go outside if I agree to being locked away? I mean, are you even _hearing_ yourself? And you're forgetting one little tidbit of information. I've been a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent a heck of a lot longer than I've known you. I've had to work horrific cases. Cases where women were ripped apart with a man's bare hands. I've looked into the eyes of fear. You don't scare me."

Livid that she had said such a thing, Loki turned and grabbed her jaw, trying to get her to shut up. The second reason he wouldn't allow her outside came spilling from his lips without his consent. "Even in Asgard, even here, there are those who would wish me harm. I will not see their hate played out upon one of my most treasured possessions. You _do not_ leave the palace. That is final."

Nancy jerked her face away from him and glared at him, but said nothing. In truth, she was touched that he cared so much. She had no idea that she was one of his _most treasured possessions_. Yes, he thought of her as a possession, but still… she was one of his _most treasured_. He treasured her above all else. Nancy's expression softened and she sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I won't leave. I promise."

"Good." He started off again, aiming for his chambers. How could she do that to him? Pull out the truth. Stir his emotions. Make him so angry at her that he wished he could find the strength to strangle her, then soothe him with so few words. Had she cast some spell he had never heard of? Or was he weaker than he liked to think?

As they walked, Nancy began to calm down. She thought on his words and their past few hours together. Their kiss and how kind he had been. She frowned and stepped closer, slipping her hand into his. "Loki, I'm sorry I upset you. I hadn't realized you cared so much. Please forgive me."

"Address, pet." He reached the doors and entered. Crea frolicked around inside with a large black cat.

He hadn't even acknowledged her apology. Nancy released his hand and looked away, hurt by his apathy. It was then that she noticed the cats rolling around the room. How happy they looked, playing together. A small smile rose to her face. "Why are there cats in our room?"

" _My_ room." He made the purring noise that would summon the cats to his side. They both snapped to attention and ran to him. Two curious felines rubbed circles around his legs. Loki reached to pick up the black one first. "You, of course, met Crea earlier."

"Yeah. Who's this guy?" Nancy reached to scratch under the black cat's chin. He was so big and heavy, she wondered how Loki didn't strain under the weight of holding him. "You ever thought about getting a dog? They're wonderful animals. Loyal as a paid soldier."

"I never liked dogs." The loud, odious creatures who insisted on licking him to death. A bit like his oaf of a brother. Loyal to a fault. He stroked the black cat and leaned to study its green eyes. Another of his pets that echoed his own traits. "This is Calder, the male of the pair."

"Aw. That's sweet. They're a pair." She knelt down and held her hand out to Crea. "Will you come to me now?" When the cat refused, she looked up at Loki again. "Do all your pets have pairs?"

Crea continued to rub Loki's ankles, almost whining to be picked up. Loki smiled and petted Calder again. "Just these. Opposites, but well matched."

"That's usually how it works." Nancy stood to her full height and reached to pet Calder again. "But do they like each other? Could they ever have kittens?" A new thought had crossed her mind. If she was indeed Loki's pet, he may treat her entirely as one. And she didn't like the thought of what that would entail.

"My, you pose many questions." He released Calder, who ran out the open door. Crea followed him with lightning-quick reflexes. Loki watched their exit. He didn't like what she implied. That he would be monstrous enough to take away her choices, such as they were. That he might find her a mate. He would never give her to another, even if it killed him. He had never felt such possessiveness over anything, save her.

Nancy shrugged and paced into the room, carefully perching on the edge of Loki's bed. She looked up at him, her hurt and fear obvious in her eyes. "I only want to know more about my future state."

Loki smirked at her choice of seat. He could say so many things to cause her discomfort right now, but he liked the sight of her sitting there. So he tamed his tongue for once in his life. "What does the fertility of my felines have to do with your future state?"

She looked down to the floor and studied the pattern of the tile. The swirls and spots in the marble. Nancy slipped out of the green flats she'd been given and pressed her toes to the tile. The cool stone felt good under her feet and helped to calm her.

"On Earth, we 'fix' our pets so they can't reproduce." she explained quietly, still studying the floor, "By knowing if your cats are fixed, I know whether you're going to have _me_ fixed. Surely you won't accept any half-breed offspring from an animal like myself." Finally, she looked up at him, begging for his answer. Would he accept her as she was? Was there any hope for their relationship to be more than pet and master? Would he ever truly love her?

"The treatment of my horses is different from my snakes, which is different from my cats, which are far different from you. Do not judge your future by theirs." He proceeded to slowly disrobe. His helmet. Boots. Armor. Tunic. "I am for bed."

She didn't move. She was too stunned and sorrowful to move. "And then you'll wake, and go work, and come back late, and go back to bed." He hadn't given her an answer. And he had admitted only minutes before that all she would ever be is a possession to him. She was his possession and hardly mattered any more than that.

He shrugged at her. Let her explain her meaning if she wanted an answer. He had held his heart on his sleeve earlier, and it was so unlike him it made him angry and afraid. What else might she draw out of him? "The life of a king." He lifted her aside – she fit so easily into his arms – and relaxed onto the bed.

"How dull." Nancy turned sideways so she could watch him. "I think I preferred you before, when you were blowing stuff up, brainwashing soldiers, and kidnapping women."

"I could think of quite a few things that could liven my existence. Yet, I will not as yet bother you with the details." He rolled over and shifted his pillow, wondering if he had used his silver tongue one too many times this night. Surely she would recoil in shock and disgust.

"Oh, but I love details." Nancy dropped into bed beside him and snuggled close, despite any warning he might give. She peeked over his shoulder and grinned at him. "Do you remember when I sat with you in Stark's Tower? The first time? You never told me what you thought of it."

Loki was already almost asleep, or he would have reminded her of the warning he had already given last night. She should not expect him to leave her alone, and she should shut up immediately. He liked the thoughts her reminder conjured. He wished it could be as simple as that again, but it couldn't. She had studied him, now he studied her. Turnabout was fair play, was it not?

But he was already almost asleep. Nancy watched as his eyes fluttered closed. "Wait, you didn't...!" But it was too late. How exhausted he must have been to fall asleep so quickly.

She softly kissed his temple and petted his hair. There was no need in waking him for something so trivial as her own sleep. She could sleep tomorrow, while he was away. For now, he needed his rest so he could face the battles and trials of tomorrow. The life he led as king. "Sleep well, master." Nancy whispered, then nuzzled him once more before she stood from the bed.

That night, Nancy curled up in one of the plush chairs on the balcony, her green velvet blanket spread over her. As Loki slept in the room beyond, she watched the stars… alone.


	36. Chapter 36

Nancy sat staring at the blank sheet of paper in front of her, tapping her pen lightly on the table. She had been recording the events of the past few days. Their trip to the library and kiss in the parlor. But when she went for another piece of parchment, she realized it was her very last piece. She could ask for more, but she knew it would cost her. Knowing Loki and his tricks, he would require a costly favor. Oh, why wouldn't he just give her what she wanted when she wanted it? Was it really too much trouble to supply her with more paper?

She pushed back, away from the table, and paced over to the bookshelf. The strap of her satchel hung loosely over the edge, taunting her. The shelf rose high above her head, yet her satchel was just out of her reach.

Who did Loki think he was, anyway? Keeping her things from her as if she was a child. Really, he treated her like she was five. As if she really was a child. Sure, he was thousands of years older than her, but according to her calculations, she was most likely physically older. He had barely begun his adulthood. Was still somewhat of a child himself. Not that she wasn't. At thirty-five, she knew she still acted like a twenty-something. But that was beside the point! She was a grown woman and that was her satchel and he had no right to keep her from it.

With a determined huff, Nancy gripped the edge of the shelf. If she couldn't reach her satchel, then she'd simply climb up there and get it. But as she climbed, the shelf began to wobble. No matter, she was almost there. Just a bit farther. If she could only stretch a little more….

The shelf toppled over with a loud crash, scattering books and papers and pets. Snakes and cats scrambled out of the way. Nancy, however, wasn't so lucky. She lay with the heavy bookshelf pinning her shoulders and body. Had any more of her escaped the shelf, she would have been crushed.

She fidgeted and wiggled, but it was no use. She was pinned. Her only hope was that maybe Loki would come to help her, but she dreaded his appearance. Because if he returned and saw her like this, there'd be hell to pay.

* * *

/

* * *

Loki stopped reading to stretch his limbs and back, and decided it time to take a peek at how his pet fared in his absence. He so loved watching when she thought he could not see her. She acted... differently. He closed his eyes and tuned in to his snakes, looking for one with an angle acceptable to see her properly. Snori did the trick, having positioned himself not ten feet from her. Such a good snake, Snori.

Loki furrowed his brow at the picture he vividly saw in his mind. How did one get into such a position? Was she... was she pinned beneath his shelf? Loki smiled to himself. She must have tried to reach the satchel on her own. And what a mess she had made. With a long-suffering sigh, he closed his book and stood. He debated rushing to the room and scaring her to death, but in the end he decided she would overthink his reaction amply. He slowed his steps and enjoyed the humorous show playing in his head.

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy struggled and strained. Gasped and growled. Pushed with all her strength. And finally managed to wiggle out from under the shelf. As she stood to gather her bearings, she realized how disastrous the mess really was. Priceless, ancient tomes lay scattered around the room. Some had landed open, successfully creasing numerous pages at once.

"Oh, no. No, no."

With what strength she had left, and utilizing her adrenaline to its fullest, somehow Nancy managed to right the bookshelf again. It wobbled and teetered, but it stayed. But the books, the precious books she loved and adored, were still scattered at her feet. Nancy groaned and ran a hand through her hair. "What a mess." she sighed.

* * *

/

* * *

Well, at least she had learned he didn't take kindly to someone ruining his things. He wouldn't mention that his cats had made quite the mess several times before he finally trained them otherwise. At the rate he walked, Loki thought himself about halfway back to the room. Should he slow even further? Give her a chance to redeem her blunder? No, what fun was there in that? He must arrive in the midst of her attempting to remedy it. In that situation, she could easily understand his amusement rather than anger. Besides, he had been dying to see her all day, not that he'd admit it. Now that he knew where she was in the remedying, he tuned out and instead watched the hall before him.

* * *

/

* * *

Well, first thing's first. Nancy quickly turned and snatched her satchel off the floor. It was what she'd been after anyway. After she successfully freed her notebook from its leather home, she slid the book under the bed and tossed the satchel back onto the shelf. With no time to lose – Loki could return at any moment – Nancy began to pile the books back onto the shelf. She didn't take the time to place them in the proper order, or even the proper position. It would take too long, and she wasn't entirely sure of where they all went anyway. Maybe he wouldn't notice. But, for now, she simply had to make sure they were all back on the shelf.

* * *

/

* * *

Loki slowed considerably when his door came into sight. He had, perhaps, rushed just a bit too fast. She had to feel that she had accomplished something. She couldn't know he saw the whole episode, especially since he had used a snake to do it. The look on her face the first time Snori had met her remained sealed in his head like a badly misshapen brand. He would not subject her to that particular punishment again. She genuinely hated the things.

* * *

/

* * *

As she placed the last book on the shelf, Nancy gave a small sigh of relief. At least that part was over. But, still, if he caught her in front of the shelf, he'd get suspicious. In an instant, Nancy snatched one of the books and dove across the bed, onto the waiting chaise. She flipped the book open and pretended to read it. It was the perfect disguise.

* * *

/

* * *

Calder, no more than a black streak at the pace he arrived, rubbed against Loki's ankles. Loki smiled and looked down at the cat. Now was as good a time as any. He had given her ample time to straighten and clean. Now, he would have his fun and see what she had managed to right.

Loki pushed the door open and stepped into the room. His gaze landed first on his shelf, and he fought both a laugh and a scowl. The tomes sat completely out of order, medicine mixed with history and math with fiction. Many sat upside-down or backwards entirely, with the pages showing from the gap between covers. At least, he realized, she really hadn't learned to read Asgardian. If she had, they would be in their proper places. Of this he was sure. He slowly turned his head to enjoy the sight of her. She looked so innocent, sitting there in the chaise, with a book open before her, even if she did hold it wrong-side up. She would have no way of knowing that even that small misstep could have tipped him off to her embarrassment.

Nancy continued reading her book – not that she _could_ read it – and refrained from acknowledging Loki at all. She licked the tip of her finger and turned the page, completely absorbed in her work.

Loki grinned. If she had any idea what book she held, she would certainly faint. One of his favorites, a mixture of myths and magic... and written completely in Asgardian. He cleared his features before he could give himself away. "Pet."

All at once, Nancy's blood ran cold. Her breath caught in the back of her throat and her heart skipped a beat. She shifted uncomfortably and chanced a glance up at him. "Yes, master?"

He didn't miss the hitch in her breathing. She was frightened. More than likely of what he would do to her, and with good cause. He had been less than predictable since she arrived, and his temper did tend to get the best of him. Perhaps he should attempt to be more thoughtful. He sighed. Thoughtfulness could be such a hard task in the heat of a moment, especially with his legendary moods involved. He had to find a way to control it.

He glanced at his shelf again. So many mistakes he would have to remedy later. Yet... he wasn't angry. He found her attempt to solve a problem quite amusing. He sighed again and slowly made his way into the room, careful to keep her in his sights. He wanted to see her reactions. To judge how she looked and sounded when she lied. "That must be quite an enthralling tome."

"Oh, yes. I love the way the letters are formed." Nancy explained, quickly flipping through the pages for emphasis. "It's all so different than... other letters. The style. The shape. That sort of thing. Yes, very different… than… other letters." She cleared her throat nervously and pulled the book closer to her face.

Loki circled by her on the way back to his shelf. One simple pluck lifted the book from her hands. He turned it and settled it back. There. At least now she would see what the letters looked like in their appropriate shapes. For a linguist, she certainly hadn't paid much attention. He would love to think his presence disconcerted her so, but he perished the thought before it could take root. She did not think of him that way, or had their previous conversations taught him nothing?

Nancy swallowed nervously and willed her hands to stop shaking. "Yes, well. I suppose that _is_ helpful. Thank you." Why was she nervous? She shouldn't be nervous. She'd only toppled over – and possibly destroyed – an antique bookshelf and the ancient texts within… Loki's absolute most prized possessions. So, what did Nancy have to be nervous about?

He did frighten her. Loki made a mental note to tone down the scare tactics. It wouldn't do to have her shut down on him. "And what have you been doing in my absence?" He arrived back at the shelves. So many volumes he cherished so well, and quite a few in English. Yet... she had picked from among them one from his own language. Would it not have been so much easier to hide her plight behind a book she could understand? Loki traced the spine of an upside-down medical history book, wondering.

"Oh, this and that." Nancy hid behind the book again, wishing she could just shrink away and disappear. "Trying to compare alphabets. Reading what I could of those books that aren't Asgardian. The usual."

"Mm." Loki pulled the book out and flipped a few pages. He might as well rearrange them now, while he had time. Besides, perhaps it would set her mind at ease to know he knew and had not yet punished her. Perhaps, this time, he would be lenient. He settled the tome back in its proper place and proceeded to untangle the other subjects. "Are you quite sure?"

He knew. He absolutely, positively, completely knew. She didn't know how he knew, but he knew. She sighed and put the book down. "How upset with me are you?" she whispered.

"That depends." He pulled out a misplaced book and stared at the binding. How did one somehow fit a geography book with medicine? All she would have needed to do was look at the etching on the bindings. One held plants, one held maps. Given... those maps did resemble vines if she hadn't looked carefully. He shook his head and replaced it to the correct shelf. "Where did you put the notebook?"

"It's under the bed." Nancy looked away and traced the golden pattern on the cover of her book. "But, if I may speak freely, it _is_ mine, sir."

"Is it?" There. One shelf returned to perfection. The rest in subject matter, but not yet alphabetized. Loki turned to lean sideways against the shelf and cast a glance to Calder. The cat scurried from under the bed. Nancy's notebook slid out after him, disturbed by his movement. Loki studied it. So small, yet so important to her. Such a vital part of her life before now, and thus she could not give it up easily. She even risked his wrath to retrieve it. What in it could possibly hold so much power over her? He wished he could harness the power to use, himself. No, no, Loki chided himself. That was ridiculous. He couldn't be jealous of... _paper._ Yet... "What would you give for it?"

What would she give for her notebook? Anything. Anything he asked. But he wanted her to answer. To come up with her own punishment. So, what would she give? She wouldn't give up her food. That was a necessity. So was sleep. But… _where_ she slept was another matter entirely. "I'll give up a night on the chaise." she offered, "I'll sleep on the floor tonight."

Loki let the smirk show this time. Her pathetic attempts at appropriate offers had started to enchant him. She had no idea how his mind worked, but he would let her think she had hit on something this time. However, the shelves still had to be alphabetized, and at the moment he did not have the time. He huffed a chuckle. "And you will attempt to straighten the shelf properly. Also, no more attempts to reach your satchel."

Fair enough. Nancy stood and made her way over to the shelf. "Will you help me?" she asked, studying the disorganized books in front of her, "I haven't quite figured out the order of the letters yet." Sure, she had written down the overall order of the initial letters of the titles of the books, but she wasn't sure which of those letters were Asgardian. Some proved to be Old English or Old Norse. Surely there were other alien languages among the books of his shelves. How was she supposed to differentiate between them, much less put them in their proper order?

"Surely you have memorized the colors or the sizes?" He genuinely smiled at her. Did she not realize he had offered her a project she could find pleasure in? Never before had he offered her anything to do with the languages she loved. Could she not see this as a sort of peace flag, for the moment? "Attempt it yourself. I will fix what you get wrong."

Well, at least he didn't expect her to be perfect. That was a relief. As Nancy turned for her papers to retrieve her observations of the order of the books, she remembered back to when she was still a student at S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy. Back to when she had a Supervising Officer. Agent Belle. Belle from Hell, they called her. The woman was horrendous, but an absolute genius. She'd drilled Nancy in similar exercises, only exposing her to a foreign language once before she was required to organize 'vital' information within a very constricting timeframe. Nancy had spent long nights perfecting the challenge.

Nancy quickly began to organize Loki's books into piles first, according to initial letter. Then, after the piles were complete, her task of organizing the shelf became easier. In order to reach the higher shelves, she used a chair this time, like a real adult. After forty-five minutes of trying to reorganize the books, Nancy finally slid the final book into place. She looked to Loki for his approval.

Loki watched her work. Not only did it provide a stunning view of her in her natural element, but he could watch her unhindered and not have her ask him a dozen or more questions regarding it. He barely admitted it to himself, but he liked to watch her. She strode with a sort of purpose and effortless belonging he had never seen in a woman before. There was so much about her that intrigued him.

When she had finished, and all the books were remotely acceptable—albeit still slightly out of order—Loki snatched her notebook from the floor. Such a weightless thing, and yet so desirable to her. If only he could find the secret to holding her interest. He held out the small rectangle, resting it on one palm before her. There was one stipulation he had forgotten to add to their treaty, but now was as good a time as any to remind her. "No more climbing."

Nancy smiled gleefully and took her notepad from hm. "But you let Crea climb." she teased.

"Crea is a cat." Loki blinked and stared at her for seconds longer than he normally would. What ridiculous creatures were mortals? Did she think she could so easily climb the shelves? Crea weighed no more than thirty pounds, and yet this woman thought she could just as easily scale things? He shook his head at her ludicrousness. The thought was adorable, but highly impractical. She could never, ever be that kind of pet. He reached to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Could she not see how she burrowed into his heart? "You are not."

"Well, I'm glad we've established that. And here I thought I was." Nancy leaned her face into his hand for a moment and smiled, happy that he'd returned. Then, with her smile still securely planted on her face, she returned to the chaise, beaming at the thought of having her notebook back.

No. He supposed she couldn't see. He shouldn't have let her in, either. It was bound to end in failure. Odin would kill him if he could read his thoughts about this particular Midgardian. Asgardians simply did not have these feelings about Midgardians. Unless, of course, that Asgardian was Thor. Loki bristled. He would not follow in the footsteps of his adopted brother. He could not love a mortal, for he would lose her far too soon. He could not lose anyone else.

So Loki created distance. Distance from her to his heart. Distance from his heart to his head. Distance... from her. He had to leave before he did something rash. Loki turned and started for the door with only a few final instructions. "Do try to refrain from injuring yourself. With shelves or otherwise."

Nancy smiled at him, still overjoyed, but then let her smile slip away. He was leaving again. "Wait. Where are you going? Do you have to leave?"

"I have research to attend to." He stopped, mid-stride. What if she said something very important? What if she really did have something to say to him. Could he take any more torture, self-imposed or not? "Why do you ask?"

Nancy shrugged and looked down at her notepad. It suddenly didn't matter as much anymore. Not as much as he did. She'd let him have it back if it would make him stay. "You always leave." she admitted, "Every day, you just get up, get dressed, and leave. All day. Every day. And I don't foresee that changing in the near future. I mean, I know you have work and all, but… you're always gone."

Loki smiled, a small motion that tugged open emotional doors inside him he had long ago shut off. Only this girl could do such a thing, break through his coldness and find the heart below. "But I always return for you."

"Yes." her smile returned for a moment, then fled again. "But only to ignore me again. You get so lost in your books and stories and work that you… you forget me. It's as if I'm not even here." Nancy finally looked up at him again, searching his eyes for his answer.

"Look closer, pet. I could never ignore you." Loki continued toward the door. How many times did he have to tell himself he could not be actively... _involved_ with her? No matter how he may wish it, it simply wasn't done. Especially when one was king. He sighed. "I _will_ be back. Soon."

"Wait! One last thing..." Nancy stood and walked over to him, knowing she had to do something to show him how much she longed for him to return. How much he meant to her. She softly wrapped her arms around him and gave him a loving, tender hug. "Good luck with your research, master. I know you'll find what you're looking for." She looked up at him, smiling again, and studied his eyes. The light that shone so brightly now. Oh, how she admired him. Everything about him. He was absolutely perfect, exactly as he was. Even with all his flaws and shortcomings, he was perfect. "And thanks for my notebook. It really does mean a lot."

"Of course." Loki smoothed a hand down her hair. So soft, so silken. So perfect. He lifted a lock to study it in the light. "I do hope you realize that I am not _all_ bad, _all_ the time."

"Of course you're not." Nancy laughed softly, gazing at him with all the love she had for him, "Why do you think I stayed?" Slowly, reluctantly, she released him and forced herself to take a step back.

With a slow, steady smile, Loki let her hair fall from his fingers. She had stayed. How could she think this all her idea when he had done such horrible things? Could she really be that different? He met her gaze with one of intensity. "Well, now. I am not entirely sure. Hm..." He shrugged, not affording her the answer she so desired, and turned to leave. If he stayed now, he would lose more than just his rationale.

Nancy frowned as she watched him leave. Even after all they'd been through together, he still left her. Yes, she knew how important his research was – as a scientist, she had a special appreciation for it and adoration for him for his own plight of study – but she could not understand why he would not stay when it was so obvious that she wanted him. Truly, she must be no more than an animal to him. Something to be petted and caressed, then forgotten for the remainder of the day.

With a sigh, Nancy flopped down onto the edge of the bed and looked down at Calder. "Well, I guess it's just you and me now."


	37. Chapter 37

Nancy frowned at the golden doors. The thick, gilded barriers between herself and the outside world. With a sigh, she turned to Calder again. "At least you get to leave." she mused, "And you have someone. You, _cat_ , have Crea. What do I have?" Nancy sighed again and flopped back, staring at the ceiling. "An _owner_. As if I'm something to be _owned_! He even called me his possession!" She looked to Calder, as if looking for his confirmation of the fact. "Can you believe that? I'm a possession! The nerve of that man."

Calder leaped onto the bed and circled until the blanket became a nest. He curled up with a stretch and a yawn, then laid still, watching her fume.

Nancy softly stroked his fur for a moment, then suddenly stood. "No. No! I'm not a possession! I'm not a pet! No matter how much he wants to make me into one!" She began to pace, her anger and frustration intensifying. "All I ever get out of that man is," Nancy lowered her voice an octave to mimic Loki's voice, "Do this, pet. Do that, pet. Sit on my lap, pet, so I can stroke your hair and completely forget you exist. Oh, and remember to be _obedient_ , pet, or else I should be cross with you again." Nancy let out a cry of frustration and gripped at her hair. "I'm not a pet!"

Calder's eyes flashed blue, a magnificent electric blue that swirled and sparked. "Meow." He jumped from the bed and followed Nancy as she escalated.

"And look at this dress!" Nancy continued, "Just look at it!" she stuck her leg out of one of the panels to reiterate her point, "I may as well not be wearing anything at all! You can see my legs from a mile away! And this darned collar!" Nancy gripped frantically at it and tugged. "I'm just waiting for him to put some sort of stupid jingly bell on it!" She dropped her hands and continued in her trek back and forth across the room. "And that sleeping spell," she seethed, "Don't get me started."

Calder skipped along beside her with a spring in his graceful step. When she slowed enough to notice, he rubbed up against her ankles with a long and drawn out purr. He closed his eyes contentedly as he rubbed along and up toward her knee.

Nancy sighed and glanced down at the cat. At least she wasn't the only neglected pet. She gently scooped him into her arms and stared into his startlingly blue eyes. At first, she was going to make some sort of comment about how his eyes shouldn't be blue, but then again… this _was_ Loki's cat. The magician could make his pets' eyes whatever color he wished. With a frown, Nancy studied the new color. "I just wish Loki saw me for me. Not as some trophy or possession."

Calder nuzzled her cheek like he understood and gave another soft meow.

"Oh, why am I talking to a cat?" Nancy asked softly with another sigh, yet enjoying the comfort the cat brought her. "You can't even understand me."

On the mention of his only being a cat, Calder hissed loudly, showing her his teeth. He leaped from her arms to trail back to the bed, precocious and prissy. Truly a daguerreotype of Loki, if there ever was one.

Nancy blinked at him, startled by his reaction, and curled her arms against her chest. "Even his cats hate me!" she wailed, sinking down to sit next to the bed. "How am I ever going to survive this place?" The tears that formed in her eyes were completely involuntary. "Everything's under some sort of spell. The whole world's gone crazy!" She sniffed. "And I'll never be able to leave. Ever."

If cats could sigh, Calder would have. He disappeared under the bed for a solid ten seconds. When he reappeared, a handkerchief hung from his mouth. A soft, white handkerchief with a delicate scrolling script at the corners. He padded back to Nancy and lifted his chin.

Nancy raised an eyebrow, curious as to the cat's retrieval of the napkin, and reached for it. "Thank you?" Surely this cat was trained. Like Crea. Only Calder had been trained to retrieve handkerchiefs when someone cried. "You're a cat." she wondered aloud, "You can't understand human concepts."

"Meow." Calder stretched out on the floor and ran his pink tongue over his paws to clean them.

Of course. He was only a cat. Had she really expected him to be any more than that? Actually, she'd half expected him to start talking at that very moment. "I'm losing my mind." Nancy finally stated, lifting a hand to her head, "I'm talking to a magical cat and losing my mind. I've gotta get out of here."

Calder lifted his head and tilted it to the side. Softly, he purred at her to get her attention. When that didn't work, he swiped his tail across the floor. The soft swishing noise did nothing.

But how was she to leave without Loki knowing? That would be impossible. Especially with the collar around her neck and the bracelet on her wrist. No… she'd need someone to fight him. Not that she wanted Loki to get hurt, but she needed someone to knock some sense into him. And she knew the perfect person to do it. "I'll write a letter to Thor!" she decided, springing up and heading for her writing supplies, "Maybe I can get one of the guards to send it to him. He'll save me!"

Calder meowed again and followed her. When she still didn't look at him, he mewed... purred... rubbed at her ankles again. Anything to gain her attention.

Nancy immediately sat down at the dining table and began to scrawl a hurried note on her notepad. But it was nearly impossible to concentrate with the cat stepping on her toes and rubbing against her ankles and feet. "Go away, Calder. I'm busy." She shooed at him with her foot.

He rubbed at her ankles yet again and purred loudly, a noise so similar to Loki's call that one couldn't tell the difference.

As cute and adorable as he was, this was neither the time nor the place. Nancy quickly scooped him up again and headed for the doors, meaning to deposit him outside the room.

"Meow." Calder nestled close to her shoulder, nuzzling against her neck and face, until he saw their destination. Upon sighting the doors, he scrambled to climb back over her shoulder and remain in the room. "Mrrrr-eow!" he hollered.

"Stop it!" Nancy cried, attempting to pry him off. But the soft, luxurious silk of her dress was no match for Calder's claws. "You stupid cat!" She dropped poor Calder on the floor and bolted for the washroom. "Who knows how many diseases alien cats have?! And I have no immunity to them! If I end up dead because of you, cat, I'll kill you!"

Calder landed on the floor with effortless ease. As Nancy ran to the washroom, Calder padded back to the bed, laid down, and began to clean his paws again.

Nancy quickly grabbed a cloth, dipped it in the pitcher of water, rubbed a bar of soap on it, and tended her wounds. She hissed from the sting of the soap, but soon her wounds were clean. "Stupid cat. Icky germs. Stupid cat." she mumbled. As she made her way back out into the room, her fiery gaze met Calder's. "That's it! Out!" She threw her arm out at the doors for emphasis.

But Calder just stared at her, his gaze unwavering. With another yawn, he stretched out on the bed.

"Ugh! What happened to _obedience_?!" Nancy flopped onto the chaise and sat there, fuming. She'd never had such a rotten day since the days she'd spent in her cell.

Still watching her with never-straying eyes, Calder yawned wider.

Nancy glanced at the cat, watching him yawn. Now he was just mocking her. "Oh, don't you even." At this point, she was ready to strangle him.

"Meow." He returned to his paw cleaning, intent on licking every stray hair from the top and the pads.

"Whatever. Stupid cat." After a short break to calm herself back down – as much a s she could – Nancy finally returned to the dining table and the letter she'd been writing.

 _Thor,_

 _This is Nancy McAllister. Loki kidnapped me several months ago. I have no idea how long I've been here. He imprisoned me and tortured me for many days. Now, he keeps me as his pet and –_

Calder, when he had finished preening, slunk from the bed and headed for Nancy's corner. He settled back on his hind legs, then with an impressive vertical jumped all the way up onto the desk.

And there was that cat again. He would not leave her alone! She almost preferred Crea to him. At least Crea left her alone. Nancy turned away from the cat and continued writing.

 _Now, he keeps me as his pet and has used his magic to keep me from being able to sleep. He withholds food from me and forces me to obey his every whim. Please, Thor –_

Calder meandered closer to her writing hand, each step silent and sure. He pressed a paw to the page and dragged the same paw back toward himself.

"What?" Nancy sighed.

"Meow." He pawed the page again.

"No. stop it." She picked the cat up and dropped him to the floor. This letter was far more important than the cat.

 _Please, Thor, you're my only hope. No one else knows your brother like you do. Maybe you can talk some sense into him. I don't want him harmed, but I need someone to save me. Pleas-_

He jumped back up onto the desk and rubbed against Nancy's arm, starting at his head and all the way down to the end of his tail. He let out a purr and did it again.

" _What_ is it, Calder?" Nancy snapped, ready to knock the cat right off the table. But then she sighed. All he wanted was a little attention. She'd forgotten Loki neglected him, too. "Fine." She softly scratched at the cat's ears. "Better?"

Calder purred at the attention she finally gave him and dropped down into her lap. He rubbed against her other arm this time, every vertebra sliding easily against her arm from underneath his soft fur.

"Tell you what, let me finish my letter and I'll pet you then, okay?" Nancy stood, taking the cat with her, and moved toward the bed. She dropped him onto the soft covers, then returned to her letter. She _would_ finish it, cat or no.

He mewled loudly, as though she had hurt him, and turned back around to stare at her. As a cat, he simply couldn't understand how she wouldn't give him attention. He watched her, his eyes sparking blue again.

Nancy picked up her pen and began writing again.

 _Please. I know you're busy being an Avenger and all, but you're the only one who can help me. I'm counting on you._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Nancy McAllister_

Finally finished, Nancy folded her letter and started for the doors.

"MEOW!" Calder frantically circled on the blanket, then jumped from the bed and ran to her side.

Nancy tugged at the doors, but they wouldn't budge. She pulled on them… but nothing happened. Maybe they could only be opened from the outside. "Hey!" she screamed, "Someone! Guards! Open the door! Anyone! Hello? Help me! Please!"

"Mew." Calder made it to her side and sat down before the door, expectant but not pushy. He simply stared up at it.

"Let me out!" Nancy continued, "I wanna go home!" Her tears began again and she did nothing to stop them. "I just wanna go home."

"Meow. Meeeeeooooow." Calder's voice seemed to echo her own in a loud, sad song. He meowed as long as she pounded, which resulted in a cacophony of cat and angry female.

"I'll never see my family again." Nancy resigned, curing up at the base of the doors. "I'll never see Anita. Or mama. Or daddy." Her chest heaved as realization sank in. She would never again leave this place. She was trapped here forever. Doomed to be Loki's pet until the day he tired of her or her body gave out, whichever came first.

Calder mewled sadly along with her.

A loud cry of anguish rang out, echoing off the stone around them. Nancy curled her legs against her chest and allowed herself to sob violently. She had never felt so alone. Not even during the days and weeks she'd spent in her cell.

Soft cat steps made their way to her side, and then pressed against her lap. Calder climbed into the soft space created by the dress fabric and curled up. He lifted his gaze to Nancy and offered her a soft purr.

Nancy held Calder close, relishing the comfort he gave her. He was her one friend in all the world, and she'd pushed him away. But no more. She drew him closer and buried her tear-stained face in his dark coat.

Calder mewled in sympathy and nuzzled her again. The door beside them swung inward, silent on well-oiled hinges. Loki's boots tapped a rhythm onto the stone floors as he entered. Calder meowed loudly.

Loki blinked and looked down at the pathetic bundle at his feet. One utterly distraught woman in green and one sympathetic feline curled together in a picture of agony. What had happened between his going away and his coming back? She had been in such high spirits earlier. Had giving her back the notebook been a bad move in this constant game of chess? Were those... tears?

Nancy sniffed, but didn't bother to look up at Loki, partly because she was angry with him, but also because she didn't want him to see her crying again. She only hugged Calder closer and looked away.

Calder nuzzled Nancy's chin, a gesture that caused Loki to smile despite the sad portrait there before him. He folded his arms behind his back and drank in the sight. "Calder likes you."

"At least someone does." Nancy spat, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You should feel honored." Loki closed the door behind himself. What had she been doing at the doors in the first place? He had seen paper in her hands, but what could that be? A letter? No. How many times could he mess everything up in one day? Could they not go back to the easiness he had felt after she mussed his books? With a sigh, he turned for the washroom. The most he could do was draw out her words. "Until today, Calder hasn't really _liked_ anyone."

"Oh? Where there others for him to choose from? So that he knows what he likes and doesn't like?"

"Only Asgardians." Even that plan had backfired. What had started this mood of hers? It couldn't have been anything he did. He hadn't even been there for the better part of the afternoon! Most people thought him moody, but they hadn't met a woman like his pet. Loki stepped into the washroom and tried to dispel the unsettling thoughts from his mind.

Nancy scoffed and wiped at her face, blotting her tears away. It was only when she lifted her hand that she realized she still had her letter. Immediately, she stood and moved to the chaise, opting to hide the letter among the pillows.

Strange, for her to be so silent. It must have something to do with the papers in her hands. Loki dropped his helmet by the tub. It could stay there until he had need of it again. Cumbersome, devilish torture device. Nevermind. It was over and done with now. He stripped down to just his trousers. The removal of all those layers of hot material felt exhilarating and refreshing. He poured water into the basin and splashed it over his face. There. Much better.

Noting movement in the dresser mirror, Nancy glanced over at it, only to find Loki's reflection. From this angle, the two mirrors reflected one another, giving her the perfect view of Loki's face. She watched, half stunned, as the water dripped over his face and splashed down onto his chest. Nancy felt the breath catch in her throat. She'd never seen him look so handsome.

Loki felt eyes watching him, and knew they could only be one person. A glance in the mirror confirmed his suspicions. She had followed him, and she studied him even now. Fine. Let her. Perhaps it would turn her thoughts from the emotions that roiled within her when he arrived. Loki pressed his wet hands to his dry, tired eyes, then ran the water back through his hair. He couldn't begin to describe the level of refreshment that simple act brought him. The cool water removed the heat from his skin and hair and calmed his nerves.

The way the water looked in his hair... His muscles moving and rippling beneath his skin. Nancy couldn't help but stare. She was so entranced by the water moving over his body that she hardly remembered she was staring. Every desire within her screamed for her to stand and join him. For her to touch him.

Loki straightened to his full height. Water dripped from his chin and hair, across his chest and back. He smirked at her through the mirror. "Do you see something you like, pet?"

Nancy physically jolted and blushed deeply. She'd been found out. She turned her face away and cursed silently. She hadn't wanted him to catch her staring.

So it was possible to make her blush. A good thing to know, for future reference. Was that embarrassment at having watched him? Or having gotten caught? "I do not mind," Loki assured. He reached for a towel and dried his face with it. "Those papers you held upon my arrival. What were they?" He took the time to rub the towel across all the droplets that had escaped from his head.

Nancy paled and instinctively reached to make sure the letter was still hidden. It was. "Just notes." She stated, nonchalant.

"Notes?" It hadn't looked like notes. She kept her notes flat and safe, not folded and crunched in her hand at the foot of the door. He draped the towel back across its hangar and turned to return to the bedroom. Perhaps she had misspoken. Perhaps these notes were of a different nature. "On what?"

"Oh... your cat. He acts very strangely." She didn't think he'd buy it, but it was worth a shot.

"Notes on cats generally do not cause one to fall ashen upon inquiry." He was tired of these games. Tired of her sorry excuses for lies. She should know better. He could detect a lie miles away, and hers more obviously than some. Loki flopped, exhausted, to the bed and threw an arm over his eyes. If only nightfall came sooner on days like this. "Care to speak truthfully?"

Nancy glanced down and studied the pattern of the tile, feeling guilty. "Will you promise you won't be upset or harm me?"

"Yes. I swear it." Why did she need him to promise not to harm her? What had she done this time? He slowly moved his arm down from his eyes and rested his gaze on her. Why did she look like he might strangle her at any moment? "Is it that bad?"

With a sigh, Nancy pulled out her letter and studied it. She knew it was going to hurt him. And she'd never wanted that. Slowly, she unfolded it, then stood to hand it to him. "I'm sorry." she whispered as she handed it over.

 _Thor,_

 _This is Nancy McAllister. Loki kidnapped me several months ago. I have no idea how long I've been here. He imprisoned me and tortured me for many days. Now, he keeps me as his pet and has used his magic to keep me from being able to sleep. He withholds food from me and forces me to obey his every whim. Please, Thor, you're my only hope. No one else knows your brother like you do. Maybe you can talk some sense into him. I don't want him harmed, but I need someone to save me. Please. I know you're busy being an Avenger and all, but you're the only one who can help me. I'm counting on you._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Nancy McAllister_

"To... to Thor?" Loki instantly propped up on one elbow and met her gaze. Thor, of all people? Did she not realize how much he hated the oaf? How much he wished he never had to hear that name again, after being in the man's shadow for centuries? God of thunder. Everyone would always pick Thor over him. Even, it seemed, his own pet. "You'd have never gotten this off-world. Why Thor?"

Nancy shrugged guiltily. "Because he's the only one who can stop you. And who cares enough to try. I thought maybe a guard would deliver it." She lowered her eyes again; she couldn't look at him.

Loki swallowed, a conscious action to dispel any anger he might conjure up. In this situation, he knew the source of his anger was his brother, not this frightened girl before him. She didn't know how deep the feelings ran between them. She couldn't know how much Thor had hurt him. "You... hate me this much?"

Nancy whipped her head up to look at him. "No. I could _never_ hate you. I just hate what you're doing to me. I hate what I've become."

Loki sighed and laid back down. What had he done? Had his actions driven her to his brother? Could not even one thing be entirely his own? She swore allegiance, and yet she turned for help at the first opportunity. He rolled away from her to stare at the far wall. No. He had always known he was undeserving of love. Now, it seemed, his own actions had brought down upon him the crushing weight of the shadow. He would never escape, never be as good as Thor.

Nancy stood and went over to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned over him to kiss his cheek. "I am _very sorry_." Her tears began again. She couldn't bear the weight of knowing she'd hurt him so much.

How could she say such a thing after what she did? She had meant to write the letter, meant to hurt him by reaching out to the only man on Midgard who could find his way here and take her from him. Everything fell from his grasp. Everything. He couldn't let her see the inner turmoil that boiled within, so he nodded in affirmation. A breath, heavier than he expected, exhaled from his lungs.

The sound he'd made was like a knife to her heart. Nancy softly stroked his hair, still damp beneath her fingers. "Please forgive me, master." she whispered. There was nothing more she could do. She'd broken his trust and his heart, all at once. With more guilt than she could bear, Nancy turned away and sat down on the chaise, waiting for something to happen.

But nothing did happen. He just laid there, staring away from her. Knowing she had to do something to right this, Nancy stood again and slowly moved around the bed to the other side. She carefully lay down, facing him. But he still wouldn't look at her. "Look at me." she said as gently as she could, "I wanna tell you something."

Loki pulled his gaze from the wall and studied every line of her face. _Now_ she meant to tell him something? Now that the damage was done and she had gotten her revenge. Well, not all of her revenge. Only a good portion. His own pain. He raised an eyebrow in question, distrustful of his own words.

"You know I jump into things without thinking. It's my biggest flaw." She reached for his hand and twined her fingers with his. Gently, Nancy lifted his hand to her lips and softly kissed the back of it. "I wasn't thinking when I wrote that letter. I'm homesick, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I should never have written that letter. I searched for you for two years. Relentlessly. Even if I _did_ go home, I know I wouldn't last an hour." Because she loved him too much to stay away.

Of course she wouldn't. Even if she did, he knew he would watch her for all her days, until she looked for him again. This woman was the only one who had not thought him a villain in Stark's lair. Who had been brave enough to visit him on the hellicarrier without guards and guns. He couldn't abandon someone like that. Even if she left him he would be there for her. Yes, he could understand her plight. He nodded once, with the intent to forgive. "But... really? To _Thor_?"

"He's the only other Asgardian I know. I _am_ sorry, Loki," She held his hand tighter, silently begging for his forgiveness. "...master."

"Your apology, as sincere as it was, is accepted." Only in her sincerity would she slip and use his name. She certainly had been honest in her apology, and he must honor that. He offered a smile, small as he could muster. "I am all for a nap at this moment. Hours upon hours of fine print make one's eyes burn."

Nancy smiled and gave an audible sigh of relief. How quickly they could move from pain to a topic they both understood. "I know that feeling" Nancy snuggled close to him, not wanting to let him go.

"Do I still have to sleep on the floor? I know it's what I traded for my notebook, but still... _the floor_?"

Loki wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He could live without her punishment of sleeping on the floor. "I think other arrangements can be made." If he didn't think she would abuse her power over him, he would let her sleep like this every night. It felt... nice. To have someone to hold instead of a cold, dead room. Loki nuzzled a cheek against her hair. Yes, he could easily lay his chin against the spun red gold any night she chose.

Nancy sighed happily and brushed a hand over his back. He was hers, and she'd never let anyone take him away from her. The letter had been a horrible idea. Even if she _did_ have the opportunity to leave, she wouldn't be gone long. She had fallen completely in love with this man, and she wasn't ready for it to end so soon.


	38. Chapter 38

It was a nice, warm evening. Not too hot, but not too cold, either. The perfect sort of weather for curling up with a good book. A soft breeze caused the golden, sheer curtains to rustle softly, but Nancy paid them no heed.

She sat in a chair in the doorway of the balcony, attempting to read from an Asgardian tome. The breeze brought with it the sweet smell of the crisp, fresh water below and caused the curtains to glisten in the light of the setting sun. Her hair caught the breeze and shifted softly in the air, catching and reflecting back the light, as she sat with her head slightly bowed over her book. Nancy murmured softly, making mental notes to herself as her pen danced over her notepad. She was so engrossed in her work, she never heard Loki come in.

Loki entered to find her combing his books. The ones she had sworn she could not read. He noted what she was attempting to do and moved past her to his armoire. She still had not successfully translated anything from the Asgardian books. He had little worry that she would succeed today. His ceremonial armor awaited him, and he took his time attaching it to himself. How he hated these political functions known as feasts. If he weren't king, he simply wouldn't attend.

Nancy glanced up when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. But it was only Loki changing into another set of armor. He'd come and gone often enough that she was used to it by now. He'd come back periodically throughout the day to check on her or grab something he'd forgotten, but only to leave again. This time would be no different. Nancy quickly dropped her gaze back down to her book and resumed her work. "Would you like me to step out of the room so you can change in privacy, master?"

"No, no." He fastened the last metal plate. An idea slowly formed, and the longer he thought on it the better he liked it. He would love to see her as she was in his head. He glanced over at her. "I have a feast I must attend."

Nancy's eyes widened slightly at the thought of a feast. She hadn't had a decent meal in months. Some days, when she was particularly hungry, she'd give him a passionate, heartfelt kiss in exchange for a larger portion of food. But the kiss would only lead to too many emotions neither of them could control. So Nancy had learned early on to survive off of little more than apples. A roll. A block of cheese. And the hated apples. No lunch. No supper. Just rolls, cheese, and apples. Yet, here _he_ was putting on his best suit of armor so he could go and gorge himself. How heartless. "I hope you enjoy yourself, master." Nancy licked the tip of her finger and turned the page, pretending to be more interested in her book. Let him go, then. Go enjoy himself and his food and his women. She didn't need him. She had all she needed right here in the suite. …If only she could make herself believe it.

"I hate to leave you here alone. And as you've been such an obedient pet of late..." He turned to stare at her, unsure how she would react, but wanting to know more than almost anything. If only she would look at him, acknowledge him. Why did she have to lose herself in books when he most needed her rapt attention?

Wait… what? Nancy glanced at him over the edge of the page, waiting for him to continue. Was he… was he _inviting_ her to go with him? No. She was a pet. He'd never… would he?

Loki smirked. There was the look he waited for. The one of curiosity that desired deeply to be satisfied. "Would you like to come, pet?"

Yes. She would. More than anything else. She wanted to see Asgard in all its glory. Wanted to see the people and the culture. Wanted to spend time with him and see more of who he really was. "If that's your desire, master," Nancy set the book down and stood, assuming her posture of obedience. "I'd be honored."

"You must be a good pet and do all I say." This idea would only work if she was completely obedient, and he still doubted her complete sincerity in the matter. She could easily pretend to be obedient and cause more harm than good when she humiliated him at the feast. Yet, there was no one else he desired to attend with him. At least he knew her to be honest with him, to the point of detriment. Others would rather flatter than speak openly.

Nancy nodded, understanding the terms. Of course she would obey. If she didn't, he'd send her back here, most likely hungry and alone. And she was so tired of being alone. Nancy stepped closer to him. "Will there be a lot of people there?"

Her stomach suddenly turned at the thought she would no doubt be the center of attention, being the king's pet and all. That was the one thing she loved about S.H.I.E.L.D: Even when she stood out in her own field of specialty, she was still a number. A face in the crowd. But here, on Asgard, she was the alien. She was different and mortal and small. On top of her peculiarity, she would draw the attention of onlookers because of her position. Suddenly, she felt no different than a side-show freak. All color drained from her face.

"Just the nobles." He looked down at her, curious again. Did she know how to behave in such a crowd? Probably not, but as obedient as she had been, he was sure she would easily catch on. He would keep her from their insurmountably rude comments and their flattery, both, but he almost wished she could be by his side during everything. He swallowed. "There will be dancing after, but I do not dance unless my partner is especially ravishing."

Nancy let out a breath and glanced away, feeling even smaller. Of course he wouldn't dance with her. She wasn't ravishing. Especially not 'especially ravishing'. Loki would no doubt dance with one of the Asgardian goddesses – women who were more beautiful than even the best models on earth. Women with beauty that shone like diamonds. These were the women Loki was used to. The women he feasted with and spent his time with. Women who were far more worthy of his time and attention. "Of course. I'm just a pet anyway."

Loki chose to ignore her comment. _Just_ a pet? Where did she come up with these idiotic ideas? Of course she wasn't _just_ a pet. He fixed his helmet on his head and studied his appearance in a mirror. "Come along, then."

Nancy turned and glanced at her own reflection. She smoothed a hand through her messy hair and tugged at the panels in her skirt. What would they think of her, seeing her in a dress like that? "But, shouldn't I prepare first?" She turned to look at Loki again. "Do you think I look alright?"

"You look lovely." And he meant it. She had never looked lovelier, even in the midnight blue that she preferred. The green brought out the gold in her eyes and the burnished quality of her hair. He rather liked that. No, he didn't rather like it. He especially enjoyed it. He extended his hand to her, offering some form of companionship and a little physical touch. She had said once that all humans needed it. "Come, pet."

Nancy blushed a bit and timidly took his hand, allowing him to escort her. How kind he was, when he wanted to be. A true gentleman. If only they could stay like that forever, as equals. If only he would see her as the strong, brave, witty woman she was. Instead, he only saw her as one of his pets.

Loki exited the room, pulling her behind him down the halls. He didn't care who saw. He took his other pets with him when he traveled about the palace, so this was no different. Only, this pet was a mortal. And his heart had betrayed him in her favor. Still, no need to hide it. He stopped at the throne room doors. They would await his command to open. He glanced slightly to the girl and spoke three words as a command, "Two steps behind."

Nancy gazed up at the large doors. Doors as large as oak trees, elaborately decorated with scenes of feasts and war. She knew what lay beyond. Dozens, if not hundreds, of the richest gods and goddesses Asgard had to offer. The ones labeled as the best. The best of the best. Pompous, arrogant nobles and lords. Ladies of the court with gowns far pricier than anything Nancy had ever dreamed of wearing. She took two steps back, more out of fear than compliance. She didn't belong here. What was she thinking? She wanted to observe these people? No. They would observe _her_. She would be very much like a bug under glass. They would scrutinize her. Nancy swallowed audibly, her mouth suddenly dry. "Can't we just-?" But her words were silenced as the doors swung open.

Loki lifted his chin and moved down the center of the room. One foot at a time, each step more sure than the last. Each of his subjects bowed as he passed, completely submitted to his rule. He could sense his pet's presence behind him, and saw scattered glances in her direction, even a few jealous glances from some of the ladies. It didn't matter. Their opinions didn't matter. They would each have him marry below his station, anyhow. He could do as he pleased, and he would spite them in the doing. He held in a smile.

Nancy immediately assumed her posture of obedience. Head down, eyes down, hands folded in front of her. She followed obediently, silently, watching the bottom of Loki's cape swish softly against his legs as he walked. She followed two steps behind, as he'd asked. In that moment, she would've done anything he asked. She was so frightened. Not of what the people would do to her, but of what they _thought_ of her. Nancy could feel their eyes watching her every move. The shy scientist – only outgoing when she was in her own element – was now thrust into the literal center of attention. It was nearly more than she could bear.

Loki continued his path up the steps that led to the throne. His throne. Remembering his pet, he stopped and turned his head just far enough to see her. His subjects didn't need to know what he said, only that he said something. They would all make their own assumptions. He spoke quietly over his shoulder, one command that he had long since become accustomed to uttering. "Kneel."

Faster than she could think, Nancy found herself on the ground on her knees. She knelt with her head bowed, unable to bring herself to look at him. Every instinct inside of her told her to get up and run. To flee from the condescending eyes and his power over her. In that moment, Nancy felt the full weight of being Loki's pet. More so than at any other time, even when she was in the cell. Her hands trembled as she gripped at the golden stairs. She was Nancy McAllister no longer. Agent McAllister had died long ago. She was always, and would forever be, Pet. Loki's Pet.

With an appreciative nod, Loki proceeded to the throne. She had obeyed, the first time. He liked that she had listened to every word he said. Perhaps she was learning after all. He sank into the throne and slouched sideways, his legs sprawled wide. He beckoned to his pet with one finger. "Come." He indicated the space on the floor between his feet. It was more than ample room for her to fit.

Nancy scrambled to her feet, stumbling over the steps along the way. Finally, she managed to perch in the spot indicated, looking very much like a frightened bird on an unstable branch. She tucked her legs as close as she could to one side, willing the slits in her dress to stitch themselves closed. But they wouldn't. So she simply sat there, stiff and rigid, with her pale legs tucked neatly under her.

Loki motioned to the servants waiting around the outer walls, and suddenly the hall filled with life. Everyone moved to their seats and began to chatter. Loki, on the other hand, sent his attention to his pet. She trembled as though the nobles might stone her. He couldn't have her thinking something like that. He wanted her to understand how he felt around them, yes, but he did not wish to distress her. He should offer something to her. Her obedience should, after all, be rewarded. "You did well."

"I think my heart went into my throat." Nancy gasped, finally finding her voice, "I've never been so scared. Ever." Even now, her heart still pounded wildly in her chest.

"They will not hurt you." Loki surveyed the crowd. Nobles and their squires. Noblewomen and their daughters. Haughty gazes and jealous whispers. No. They would not hurt her. He wouldn't allow it. If anyone set foot near her with intent to harm her, he would see them banished, at the very least.

A server reached the top of the steps, bowed, and extended a tray in Loki's general direction.

Loki looked over what had been placed upon it and took each item into consideration. Meat, grapes, and of course apples. Yes. This would do nicely. He nodded solemnly. The servant settled the tray in front of Nancy and scuttled off to attend to other duties.

Nancy's mouth watered as she looked over the food on her plate. But, he couldn't possibly expect her to eat off the floor, could he? Sure, there was a plate under her food, but still… was he so cruel as to not even allow her somewhere else to sit?

"Master?" Nancy began, chancing a glance up at him, "How long are you going to make me sit here? It's uncomfortable." She quickly rushed the rest of her words, "Not that I'm complaining, of course."

Obedient, indeed. She had lasted five minutes before her complaint. A new record. If there was one thing he had learned about this woman, it was that she didn't hesitate to speak her mind, even after all she'd been through. Loki smirked. "Eat your food. I will provide a cushion, but perhaps if you relaxed a bit..."

True. She was in a very uncomfortable position. Slowly, Nancy unwound her legs and leaned back against the bottom of the throne, letting the panel at the front of her skirt cover her legs. Yes, this was definitely more comfortable. And she liked the fact that Loki was right behind her. Usually, she would've hated being forced at sit at his feet. But, in this instance, it was nice. His presence helped to calm her frazzled nerves, if only a little.

Nancy pulled her tray into her lap and tentatively began to eat. The food was delicious, and she had been hungry, but all those people were still staring. A few women were even glaring daggers at her. Instinctively, Nancy moved farther back toward the throne.

Momentarily, a tray arrived for Loki with much more meat to speak of. He ate it slowly, studying his pet while she was distracted. What would it be like to feel her head against his leg? He wondered. To have her trust him so much to lean on him when she was so frightened... Loki scowled at himself. What right did that thought have to sneak into his mind? She wasn't some lonely Asgardian woman. She was his obedient pet. He couldn't think of her in _that_ regard. He refocused his gaze to study the guests.

As Nancy continued watching, she noticed a few of the women whispering amongst themselves. They were all glaring, obviously upset with something. Then one turned at pointed at her. The others erupted with laughter. Nancy blushed and reached out to grip Loki's ankle, seeking his comfort and protection.

She turned and looked up at him, her hurt obvious on her face. In her eyes. "They're staring." She whispered, not bothering to mention the fact they were laughing at her.

"They do that." He could almost bless their stares for driving his mortal closer to him. Yet... he couldn't quite condone them. He noted one of the higher lords making his way to the throne. No doubt with some outlandish request. Something to do with a daughter, no doubt. They had ceased their requests for land and power ages ago, after he refused one too many of them. Their flattery remained, however, and he dreaded that. He tried not to tense. No need to alarm his pet more than she already would be.

Nancy turned back around to find a large, broad man clad in full armor and a thick, fur cloak making his way toward them. Inside, she panicked. What was she supposed to do in this situation? Bow to him? Pretend she was above him? Still indecisive, Nancy acted on instinct. She lowered her gaze and pretended to be more focused on her meal.

Loki allowed the lord to approach, motioning the guards aside. He would hear the request, whatever nonsense it may be. He would more than likely refuse the man, but he would hear it as a good king should. Why had he ever wanted this job?

The man bowed low with a sweep of his arm. The motion made him look more like an overgrown peacock than a man of noble stature.

"What is your agenda?" Loki asked bluntly. No use beating around the bush. He had been diplomatic with the lords of Asgard too long. He lifted a bite of his meat to his mouth indifferently. This would be like all the other times. The man would ask, and he would simply decline.

Loki's adept eyes spotted the stiffening of the man's spine. "As your majesty oft has difficulty deciding on his partner for the opening dance, might I suggest my daughter?" He motioned behind him to a table.

Loki noted the petite brunette swathed in purple. A presumptuous choice, granted it was traditionally the color of royalty on Midgard. She was fair enough, but not nearly beautiful enough to tempt him to break his own hard-fast rule. He shook his head. "Thank you for the honor, but no."

The lord straightened completely and scowled. "Whyever not? She is far superior to," with disdain, he shooed a hand at the girl seated at the base of the throne, " _that_."

 _That_. She'd been called a _that_. An indifferent, nonspecific pronoun used to describe nonhuman items, used derogatorily to label her as less than a person. She wasn't a person. She was a _that_. Nancy glanced up at the lord, then looked away again. He was right, he and his family were far superior than she ever could dream of being. She kept her eyes downcast, showing her obedience. In that moment, all she wanted to do was get up and run away.

Loki slowly, menacingly stood to his full height and glared down at the lord. How dare the man degrade Nancy to such a level? How dare he presumptuously stalk to the throne and try to tell him that his pet was nothing more than a heap of dung? Loki kept his voice low, sinister, and pronounced each word carefully so the pea-brained man would fully understand them. "You will watch your tongue."

The man sneered and gave a nonchalant shrug. "I only spoke my mind."

Spoke his mind? No. He had been cruel. Loki strode quickly forward and before the man had time to blink, Loki had taken his collar into his fist and held tightly. He desperately wanted to end the man, snap his neck then and there or order him beheaded. Instead, with all his subjects watching, Loki did the just thing to do. "I give you one more chance to not leave your daughter fatherless. I will not dance the opening dance tonight and I _will not_ allow you to insult her." He used his head to gesture to his pet, sitting scared where he had moments ago been.

Nancy cowered back against the throne, her eyes wide. She didn't like being in the spotlight, especially not like this. She bowed her head and avoided meeting anyone's gaze, a hot blush rising to her cheeks. Before, she would have immediately jumped up and tried to stop Loki from harming the man. But now – now that all eyes were on her and she was forever labeled as an _obedient_ pet – Nancy could only shrink inside herself to hide from onlookers.

The man didn't utter another word. Instead, he submissively bowed his head.

Loki slowly unfisted his hand and raised an eyebrow, daring the man to ever say anything bad about his pet again. Let him utter another word against her. He would gladly have him forcibly removed. He glared until the man backed away and the guards moved warily back into position. When the man left, Loki motioned for those staring to return to their activities. Adrenaline forced his breaths heavier through his chest, and he sucked air in through his nose to calm himself. He returned to his throne and settled back in it, still irate.

"You didn't have to do that." Nancy whispered as Loki resumed his position atop the throne. She cautiously glanced back, still not meeting his gaze. "I appreciate it, but…" She shook her head. "You didn't have to." And he shouldn't have. The lord was right. Nancy had no place among the royals and nobility.

"Yes, I did." He reached a hand to rest on her head, instinctively protective. If anyone said another thing against her, he would rip them to shreds. Having sustained travesties at his own hand was one thing. Having his subjects look down on her because she arrived from Midgard, another entirely.

"Let me go back to your room, sir." Nancy protested, turning around more so she could look at him. All she wanted to do was run away. It was a strange feeling for her. Usually, she'd be one of the first to rush into the action. But not here. Not with these people and their condemning eyes. "That nobleman was right. I don't belong here. I'm a mortal in a room full of immortals. Let me leave."

"You will be fine." Loki brought his other hand up, resting one finger against his lips. He kept his protective hand on her head, if only to reassure her that he would keep her safe. He would. He had thought this might turn out better than it had started, but he could prepare for other outcomes, as well. They all knew better than to come against the god of mischief, for his wrath was worse than his father's. As long as he held her under his care, she would fare well.

With a sigh, Nancy turned back around and began picking at her meal. She wasn't hungry anymore, but forced herself to eat out of a need for sustenance. She knew she wouldn't have meat again for a long time, so she may as well consume it while she had it.

She kept her head bowed, her eyes never leaving the floor. Her only comfort was the fact Loki sat behind her, with his fingers twined in her hair. Under any other circumstances, she would have loved the attention and affection. But now… now it only proved all the more that she was indeed his pet.


	39. Chapter 39

Eventually, despite all the staring and awkward silence that followed Loki's outburst, the guests finished their meal and seemed eager to begin the dancing. Loki never understood that eagerness. He would much rather retire to his chambers. But he would fulfill his duties as king. He motioned to the musicians, signaling them to begin their merriment.

* * *

/

* * *

Little Lara Yorsdottir was a very curious thing. As curious as a kitten, her mother would say. And, quite like a kitten, she was prone to getting herself in trouble. Her sparkling blue eyes and sleek brown hair were her most defining features. Her hair especially. It hung like a grand waterfall down her back, bridged with a crown of braids at the back of her skull. Her silver dress shone like her eyes, making her look more like a living drop of moonlight than a child.

While her parents were distracted and her nurse flirted with a nobleman, Lara snuck towards the throne. She'd caught sight of the king's new friend. A woman. Probably a princess. That's the only reason she'd be sitting by the throne. She had to be a princess. But what was more curious was the fact the princess sat at the king's feet instead of by his side. Perhaps she liked that spot better, Lara thought. Well, she'd just go and find out for herself.

Just as Lara approached the throne, two guards stepped forward and crossed their spears, preventing her from venturing any farther. With a huff, the small child stomped her foot and stood on the ends of her toes, trying to see past the two men to the royals who sat just beyond.

Her approach did not go unnoticed by Loki. Curious, that such a small one would be so forthrightly curious. One so small could not have been put up to it by a father or mother, and certainly they would not think of letting her near the mischievous prince. She must truly wish to know something, to ask something. He turned his head to smile down at the child.

Nancy blinked at the girl. She was so small and pretty. Like a little doll. She couldn't have been more than six or seven. Well, the size of a six or seven-year-old, at least. With a smile, Nancy turned and looked up at Loki. "I think we have a visitor. Are you going to let her approach?"

"I am considering." Loki took his time studying the child, noting her earnest eyes, silver dress, and honest curiosity. Her wide eyes showed only sincerity and a bit of fear, of him, no doubt. She could cause no harm. He nodded to the guards, who moved aside to grant the child access to the throne.

Lara slowly approached and stopped at the bottom of the steps. King Loki looked very frightening with his horned helmet and polished armor. Remembering her manners, she did her best at a curtsy. "Good evening, majesty." Without really thinking about it, Lara began to nibble at her right index finger. "Why is there a woman there?" she finally gathered the courage to ask.

Loki nearly choked on the wine he had been pouring down his throat. He swallowed it and chuckled outright. Leave it to a child to ask such an obvious question. He should have known better. Children had a tendency to ask whatever was on their minds, nevermind that it might not be tactful. He let loose a short laugh. "Would you like to ask her?"

Lara rocked back and forth on her heels, considering. Finally, she shyly glanced to Nancy. "Why are you sitting there?"

Nancy gave the little girl a kind smile. She really was adorable, and quite brave, too. "Because the king asked me to."

"Oh." Lara glanced between the two, confused. "Why?"

Nancy shrugged, a bit embarrassed. "I'm his pet."

Lara tilted her head, really confused this time. That didn't make sense. Cats and dogs and horses were pets. Not princesses. "People aren't pets." She changed fingers and continued nibbling. "That nobleman didn't like her," she finally stated, looking to Loki again, "Is she bad?" The only reason a nobleman wouldn't like a princess is if the princess was bad.

Nancy gave a half-laugh, half-gasp at the child's ponderings. What would Loki say? According to him, she had a tendency to be a horrible pet, her will still unbroken. And the fact that this child thought such a thing… what did the other nobles think?

Loki tried valiantly to maintain his smile. He had never meant to give that impression. He didn't know why the child had thought that in the first place. Bad pets were left locked away, not allowed to escort him to a feast. If she had been bad, she would be punished, not rewarded. Such a strange creature, jealousy. "No. She is quite good, actually." He glanced past the little girl to find the man who had spoken earlier. Perhaps he should flog him for causing this dither. "That man should not be spoken of as noble."

Nancy glanced up at Loki. Did he really think that of her? That she was _quite good_? After all their arguments and disagreements, he still thought her _good_?

Lara rocked on her heels again, thinking on her next question. She rolled her finger around on her tooth and looked the princess over. A princess with hair like fire and a pretty green dress. A gold bracelet on her arm with a matching necklace and jewels. Yes, she _must_ be a princess.

Lara finally removed her finger from her mouth, folded her hands behind her back, and stood still. "She's pretty. Are you going to dance with her?"

Loki glanced to the woman at his feet. If he danced, he wanted it to be with her, therefore it was out of the question. He would never be able to control himself while holding her in his arms. "I will not dance this evening." He smiled at the girl and spread a hand before him to denote her presence. "Unless, of course, you would do me the honor."

Lara brought her hands up to cover her blush and giggled, shaking her head shyly. The king was silly, wanting to dance with her. She wasn't old enough to dance with the grown-ups yet. Her mother had told her so herself.

Nancy smiled at the child's reaction, then cast another glance up at Loki. "Master," she whispered, "Surely there's one woman here worthy of a dance with the king. You should go enjoy yourself. At least one dance."

If only nobles were as easy to entertain as children. Loki rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose playfully, tossing his look in the girl's direction. The girl's bravery deserved some attention. The good kind. He sighed heavily. "No. I shan't. The most beautiful girl has shunned me this evening."

Lara giggled again. "Apologies, majesty." Her curiosity quenched, she curtsied again and ran off to join her friends.

Nancy smiled as she watched the girl leave. She reminded her so much of herself. The girl would grow up to be bright and courageous, as she once was. But it was too late for Nancy now, cast down to the feet of her captor. She turned slightly and looked up at him again.

"I'm serious." she frowned at him, "I can't go out there, but you can, master. The night's still young. Go have some fun." The last thing she wanted was for him to not participate in the merriment on her account. He didn't need to stay with her. She wouldn't run away. If he wanted to go, he should go. There were plenty of beautiful women out there, surely one would suit him.

"I told you I do not often dance." Loki relaxed enough to stroke her hair with the hand he had previously laid on her head. The feel of her soft tresses under his fingers calmed him. The knowledge she was near and safe set his heart to rest. Nothing would happen so long as she remained there, just under his touch. "Unless a woman catches my particular attention or has the gall to ask _me_."

Nancy smiled and closed her eyes at the feeling of his fingers on her hair. _Unless a woman catches my particular attention…_ She'd caught his attention once, back when they'd first met. Back then, they'd been equals. Well, at least more so than now. She couldn't help but capture his attention. "I would ask, but…" Her smile slid from her face and she opened her eyes again. She wasn't his equal. He wasn't caressing her hair out of affection or care. It was an absent-minded gesture, like when one pets a cat. Her frown intensified. Even if she did ask, he would never have her. "I… I can't." She turned back around and leaned back against the throne, blinking out at the crowd before her. The partners twirling round and round the golden room. "It wouldn't be right." she finally whispered, her heart breaking.

"Mm. That's my good girl." That ridiculous nagging wonderment of what her head would feel like against his leg sneaked back into his head. Would it feel soft? Or would it be weighty? Loki tried his best to shake it away. He could not think on things like that. She was his pet, not his consort. Well... not yet, anyway. He lifted his hand from her head and turned his attention to the dance floor, watching the nobles swirl and float across it. "So instead we enjoy the view."

Nancy leaned her head back and closed her eyes. She didn't want to watch them. She couldn't. Everything she'd ever been was taken from her. All strength and bravery. All sense of dignity and confidence. Who was she now? _That's my good girl_. Loki's pet. Nothing more. Rewarded for digressing down to little more than a spineless worm. Had she been the Nancy she remembered, she would have asked him nonetheless. But she wasn't. Forced to sit at his feet, she meant no more to him than one of his cats. She _was_ no more than one of his cats.

Tears rose to her eyes once again, threatening to spill over. Only _he_ could make her cry. Only he could stir these emotions inside her. Make her desperately desire to be taken into his arms, to be treated as an equal, then wither as any opportunity was snatched away with barely more than a few words. Only he would be so cruel.

Though he had stopped, Loki found he missed the feeling of her hair in his fingers. The soft waves lingering around his hand as he stroked. He absentmindedly reached to pet her long locks again. His eyes continued to roam the dance floor, though he couldn't single out any one particularly beautiful woman. Perhaps it was not meant to be on this occasion. Perhaps he was too distracted to notice anyone but the woman he had brought. A strange occurrence, but possible nonetheless.

She couldn't stop them, try as she might. One single tear dripped from Nancy's eye, trailing back toward her hairline. Another followed, then another, all collecting near Loki's fingers and dampening her hair.

"Does this sadden you, pet?" Loki paused his ministrations to look down at her with concern.

"No." Nancy immediately sat up and moved to dry her eyes. "No, I'm fine." She sniffed, betraying her lie. These were more than stray tears. She'd been crying.

"No one weeps for nothing. What weighs on you so?" He shifted his position to better see her face. Why did she weep? Had he not brought her here and placed her in a position of utmost honor? Why, then, did she cry?

Nancy shook her head and glanced down, embarrassed. "It's nothing. Really. I'm already over it."

Oh, please. Did she not remember she spoke to the god of lies? He could tell something was wrong and he didn't – not for one second – believe her answer, but he leaned back in his seat anyway. This was one of those times she had set her mind against him and would not succumb for any coaxing. He might as well not try. "I am sorry for your dismay. Rest a while. Perhaps it will calm your anxiety." She would tell him, given time. He would break her down with silence and listen when she finally deigned to speak of her distress.

She nodded and leaned back again, then shifted so she could lean her head against his leg. "I guess I'm just tired." How kind he could be, when he wanted to be. It was during these times she wished he loved her. She wished with all her heart that she meant something to him. Something far more than a pet. Nancy placed her hand on his ankle, wanting his closeness and hoping he wouldn't be upset she was laying on him. She remembered a time, not too long ago, when he would've never allowed her to do such a thing.

Loki closed his eyes and smiled. Her soft head barely weighed a thing against his strong calf muscles. He relished the closeness of her breath. The warmth of her skin on his leg. The knowing that she trusted him enough to be this close to him. If he could, he would stay here all night. He would do anything to hold this moment forever. "Sleep if you must. No one will disturb you." His voice came out softer and throatier than he intended. What magic did she play in his mind to cause him to react so?

Nancy closed her eyes and snuggled closer. "Not here. Not with all these people watching."

Loki shook his head slowly, sure not to stir lest she pull away. He could not bear it if she pulled away now. "They watch each other, not you. If you must, I release you to slumber."

She shrugged half-heartedly and looked out at the people. The beautiful women in their sparking gowns. They sparkled and shone unlike any material she'd seen on earth, catching and reflecting back the light of the torches. The trains of dresses blossomed out and swished in time with the music, matching the movement of their partners' capes. It was a scene out of a fairytale. A wondrous kingdom close enough to touch… yet she was forbidden to partake.

Nancy gripped his ankle tighter as her tears began again. How she wished she was one of them. A person instead of a pet. A queen among the goddesses. Where were these thoughts coming from? This wasn't her. How childish, to want to be a part of this world. As if she was no more than a character in her own version of _Cinderella_. No. She wasn't a child. Or a pet. A sob escaped her lips. Then why did it all matter so much?

It wasn't that Loki didn't notice her tears, only that he knew she would not tell him what they were for, no matter what he did to her. So, instead, he continued to gently stroke her hair, hoping it would bring some modicum of comfort. He knew not how to comfort someone when he did not recognize their sorrow. He wished she would tell him.

And yet, even through her tears, she could feel his fingers in her hair. He was still with her. Remained by her side. Why? Why did he remain when there were so many beautiful goddesses to choose from? Surely there was one who met his criteria. And yet he continued to stoke her hair.

Nancy buried her face in his leg, blocking out the sight of the nobles. "I'm not them." she finally sobbed, feeling unworthy of him.

Had his wish been heard? Had she somehow heard his thoughts and taken pity on his ignorance? Loki furrowed his brow. Was that really what bothered her? That she was not one of the arrogant, self-seeking nobles on the dance floor? He studied her intently. "Nor would I want you to be. They are nothing but pretty porcelain dolls. Superficial elegance that dissipates the moment you look beyond it."

"But your people were worshiped as gods." She turned to look up at him, studying his features. His eyes. Searching for his sincerity. "Surely there's more to Asgardians than good looks."

"The good ones, yes." He sighed. She might as well know the truth now, before he began a rant on the subject. Not that she hadn't heard many of his rants lately, but that particular one came with much, much bitterness. "Many of these only seek my favor on them and their daughters."

"Oh. No wonder you won't dance with them." She looked down, still feeling rejected. "I hope you find one of the good women one day. One who doesn't just want to use you."

"Occasionally, I find a sincere soul, or an exceptionally beautiful façade. Those I take great care with."

Nancy nodded solemnly, then turned around again. _An exceptionally beautiful façade_. She wasn't 'exceptionally beautiful' or 'especially ravishing' or even remotely anything more than average. She'd spent her life with her hair piled on top of her head, her glasses perched on the end of her nose, and a suit-dress covering everything that wasn't hidden behind a desk. She wasn't anything like the Asgardian women. No wonder Loki kept her as a pet. What else could she possibly hope to be to him?

Finally, her despair poured from her lips before she could stop it. "If I was more beautiful, would you dance with me? Or is it because I'm mortal?"

"Pet, I did not realize you knew these dances." Loki almost winced. The sarcasm that dripped from his tongue sounded nothing like him. Did the nobles' disdain wound him so badly that he must lash out at anything that tried to comfort him like an injured animal?

His sarcasm pierced her heart like a blunted knife, causing her to physically recoil. "I don't. It was... just a question. A stupid question. Just… just forget I said anything."

On a whim, Loki leaned down until his lips hovered beside her ear. He made sure his whisper was low enough it would be heard by none other than her. She had to know. Surely, she had to know why he did not leave her side. "If you knew the dances, rest assured you would be my first choice."

His answer was the absolute last thing Nancy expected to hear. She immediately whipped her head around to look at him, confused. " _Me?_ Why? I'm a lap dog."

Having not expected her to move quite so quickly, Loki jerked his head back to avoid colliding with hers. Lap dog? How could she think such a thing? "You are exquisite."

Nancy shook her head disbelievingly. "But… you took that picture of my sister. You told me how beautiful she was. How you would rather have her as a pet. I'm not her."

"No." He leaned back in his throne. He distinctly remembered saying her sister was beautiful, but never had he mentioned how much more beautiful his own perfect pet was. Could she not see in the way he looked at her, desired her? Did he have to spell everything out for her? Loki sighed. He already missed the feeling of her leaning against him. "You are much more beautiful."

Nancy gazed at him with hurt in her eyes. How could he do such a thing? Tell her how beautiful Anita was, how he desired her more, then now tell her he wanted her own self more than her obviously superior sister? What game was he trying to play with her heart? Twisting her mind and soul in elaborate knots to suit his own fancy. Nancy turned her face away from him. She'd have no part in this ridiculous, horrid game.

Her reaction more than disappointed Loki. It dismayed him. She could not think so lowly of herself, nor could she think he jested. Could she? Even on Midgard, he had wanted her as his. Not just to study, he finally admitted to himself, but to have. He would not have brought her to Asgard if he only wanted to study her. He could do that well enough from a distance. How did she not see what laid so clearly before her? "Surely you know what I've wanted, what I've desired more than all else, since bringing you here. Do you not?"

"You brought me here to study me." Her voice broke with her tears.

"With the intent..." He leaned close so he could lower his voice again. His subjects didn't need to hear this conversation. They'd stone him, in all likelihood, if they knew. "...of gaining one desire burning within me."

Nancy sniffed and glanced at him again. "And what's that?"

Loki smiled and glanced up to study the room. They all carried on, oblivious to the conversation their king had with his Midgardian. Would they be horrified? Yes. However, he could no longer lie to himself on this particular subject. He replied huskily, "You. _All_ of you, freely and unconditionally given. Every intimate part."

Nancy's eyes widened as an intense blush rose into her cheeks. "B-… bu-bu-… wha-?" She could only stare at him as her blush intensified and words escaped her. He _wanted_ her. Intimately. And had for a very long time. Perhaps since the day they'd met. She blinked, still trying to comprehend everything he'd said.

"Interesting. Nothing to say? Very unlike you." Loki leaned back again to study her reaction. Was this embarrassment?

"But… but, but…" Nancy swallowed, forcing herself to speak, "You'll get rid of me. When we're done, you'll… you'll get rid of me. Like the others did."

"I've told you. Never assume what I will or will not do." He clucked his tongue. Did she so underestimate him, even now? Did she not hear the truth in his words? "Why _would_ you think that?"

"Because you're a king." she gaped at him, "You're a king and I'm a _pet_."

"A king may do whatever he pleases. And you please me." He paused, a single thought centering itself in his mind. A question he had to know. "Who _got rid_ of you, hmm?" If they had hurt her, so help him he would make them all pay.

Nancy glanced down, truly embarrassed this time. Embarrassed by the fact her co-workers had used her. Had taken advantage of her weakness. An image of James floated to the surface of her mind. A memory of their night together. Then the following morning when he'd left her alone. The days he'd ignored her. The excuses he made, most of which having to do with her position as a pencil pusher.

"A couple of guys I worked with." Nancy finally admitted with a sigh, still not looking at him, "I was drunk both times. Then they didn't want anything more to do with me."

"They are nothing but common rabble." Loki reached to twirl a piece of her wonderful, beautiful hair. He meant every word he told her. Had they still been on Midgard, he would have beat them within an inch of their life. Perhaps further. "I would never mistreat such a treasure in this manner."

Nancy gave a long sigh, considering his words. How cunning he was. How his words dripped with honey. Enough to tempt even the strongest woman. It was all she'd ever thought about. Lying in his arms, their bodies intertwined. Being fully his. Fully his equal. What he did with her after that was out of her hands. Her whole condition was out of her hands. He could choose to be rid of her tomorrow, knowing his moods, and she'd never get the chance to be with him. At least this way she had a chance of gaining his heart. Or, in the very least, satisfying her own burning desires. She gave a slow nod, consenting to his proposal.

Loki had no idea what the nod meant, but he hoped it was good. Hoped beyond hope it meant what he thought it did. Had he finally broken past her last shell, her last layer? Yes. He thought perhaps he had. It had never taken so long to break down one person, but the end was worth the game in this instance. He leaned back on the throne, only wanting the night to be over.

Nancy leaned back as well and resumed her spot against his leg. She snuggled close, seeking the affection he seemed so willing to give. "But I want it to be good," she whispered, "Romantic. Better than those drunk flings."

A soft chuckle stole past his lips to grace her keen hearing. "Trust me, pet. I will be."

"And I want to be your equal." It was all she ever wanted. "For one night. One moment. None of this pet/master crap. Let me be your lover. Not your pet."

"Perhaps it can be arranged." He looked to a window. Time could not fly fast enough. He tired so quickly of this party he didn't want to attend in the first place. And this conversation only made him hope further. Surely she would not be so cruel as to toy with him at this particular moment.

Nancy felt him shift behind her and turned to look at him. He was looking out the window, most likely checking the time. She grinned, knowing the cause. "You look impatient."

"I grow weary of false faces. I merely wish to be gone from this ridiculous party."

She smiled at him, admiring his sincerity. His honesty. He really did hate these feasts and she knew it. She hoped she'd made it easier on him, at least. "Maybe you can teach me the Asgardian dances before the next feast." she offered. "I would like to dance with you." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, blushing slightly. "Eventually."

Her smile was beautiful. The most glorious gift she could have bestowed upon him. He hadn't counted the days since she last smiled at him, but he should have. What he wouldn't give to see it more often. Loki found himself returning the gesture with fervor. And, of course, a little mischief. "Perhaps something can be arranged."

The musicians pulled the final chord on their instruments. The final chord of the final dance he was required to oversee. Odin's beard, he was glad the night could end for him. How did the nobles do this day in and day out? How did they think this merriment... this odious, immortal merriment... merited so many days and nights? Loki sighed with relief and mumbled to himself, "At last."

Nancy's smile slid from her face and she poised herself to move out of his way. "Do I follow you out in the same manner I followed you in?" she whispered, her head already bowed.

He braced himself to stand, but made sure to give his pet her specific instructions before leaving her to her own devices. He hoped it would make her feel better. He hadn't forgotten her. Hadn't overlooked everything they had discussed. "Yes. Kneel first. Follow when I reach the steps."

"Yes, sir." she mumbled, finally moving out of his way. Nancy knelt as he passed, then quickly stood and followed him as he reached the steps. She kept careful watch to remain exactly two steps behind him, her eyes never leaving the end of his cape.

As he reached the hall, Loki distinctly felt her presence behind him. Following him like the obedient pet he had trained her to be. He smiled and kept his pace, allowing her to simply follow. Savoring the thought of such a blissfully obedient creature. And, the best part was, it had finally become second nature to her. She finally found herself obeying him without thinking it through. The highest form of submission.

Loki arrived back at the chamber and, without much ado, flopped onto his bed. Who cared what the pet thought? He was utterly exhausted from simply maintaining his composure. Yes, their conversation had been fruitful, but emotionally he was exhausted. How could he possibly focus on anything else tonight? He needed only to sleep well so he could do it all again. In the morning, he would be better company.

Nancy returned to her spot on the chaise, opting to silently watch him. He looked far more exhausted than she'd ever seen him. They wouldn't be doing anything tonight. Nor would she want to, with him in this state. Her only concern was his health. If he was as tired as he seemed, she only wanted him to sleep. They could spend another night together. Some other night, when he felt up to it.

He could feel her eyes on him. Could almost taste her curiosity and could almost hear her thoughts spinning at a thousand miles an hour. How did she stare for so long without budging? He sighed. "If you do not blink, your eyes will dry."

"That's what the drops are for." she teased, then fell silent. Her next words came out softer. Gentler. "You look tired."

"I am. Quite tired." He forced an arm up to his head and tossed his helmet aside. It hit a wall and clunked to the floor with a tinny sound. All the better. At least now his head could breathe. And cool. He blamed Thor and Odin for the creation of that helmet. Cow's horns, indeed. That stupid helmet had started this whole business. Or, at the very least, had quite a hand in it.

Nancy stood and paced over to the edge of his bed. She knelt down until she was eye-level with him. "Would you like some help? With your armor?"

"Are you offering your services?" Loki propped himself up on his elbows, sitting up enough to see her reactions and expressions. In his dazed and exhausted state, he was liable to say or do something he might sorely regret in the morning. However, if she still wanted to help, he would not turn her down.

"Yes." Timidly, Nancy reached out a hand and ran her fingers through his hair. It was damp with his sweat, but cooling in the light midnight breeze. She smiled softly. "You look exhausted, master. Let me help."

Well, it was better than nothing. He would maintain control and he would allow this tension between them time to develop. As difficult as he found that, it made logical sense. In any case, this might settle her flustered nerves from dinner. She seemed to be the kind of person who needed to do something to calm herself. He flopped back on the bed, laying prostrate. "Fine. But _only_ the armor, pet."

"Of course." Nancy tentatively climbed onto the bed, settling next to him. She slowly, carefully, detached each piece, letting the golden emblems reflect back the flickering torchlight. She studied each piece, memorizing every pattern and symbol. Each represented a different part of him. Protected him in battle. Kept him from harm. "I've waited a long time to see these in detail."

"Yes. I apologize for not allowing you longer to study them during our first encounter." He had been in a rush, then. Without thinking, he had stolen her from the helicarrier. Taken her to the tower. Allowed her to watch him in the cells. If it had been planned, he would have granted her much more time to study the armor. To study him. Instead, it had all been forced and furiously fast. No longer. This time, they had time to observe.

"It's alright. You were busy." Nancy whispered, removing the final piece: his breastplate. She remembered how she used to tease him incessantly over the golden crescent. But no longer. He meant far too much to her now. Nancy carefully set it aside and draped his cape over the back of a nearby chair. "All this time together has far made up for it." She moved to his side and gazed down at him, admiring how innocent and sweet he looked. Could this be the same villain who kidnapped her all those years ago? She would've done anything to remain by his side.

The obtrusive, inflexible armor gone, Loki rolled to his side and sighed contentedly. The soft mattress was just what he needed. Something soft to lay against. He let the stress slip from his shoulders. "Goodnight, pet."

"Goodnight, master." With the same slow and gentle movements, Nancy pulled his blankets over him. Acting on pure impulse, she leaned over him and planted a soft kiss on his temple. "Thank you for tonight."

"It was my pleasure. Truly." If he hadn't been so tired, he might have made a comment on that kiss. Instead, he savored it and slipped toward slumber. He smiled gently in the aftermath of the evening, thinking about every interaction he and Nancy had shared. All the promises she had made. All the truths he had told her. All of it worth the risk.


	40. Chapter 40

It'd been days since the feast. Days since Loki spoke of his passion and desire. He'd seemed so willing. So sincere. But now… he was far too busy to be concerned with his little pet. Too preoccupied to spend any sort of time with her.

Of course there were moments when Nancy wasn't alone. When Loki returned to sleep or rose to dress in the morning. And then there were the other pets she was allowed to play with. The cats. Crea still had nothing to do with her, but Calder was friendly enough. The snakes. She was beginning to get used to their presence by now. Every once in a while, she'd spy one out of the corner of her eye as it slipped behind something.

And now she was allowed to go to the library. She'd gone once or twice on occasion, but it was still Loki's favorite room. As soon as he'd show up, she'd gather her papers and excuse herself, finding her way back to her gilded prison once again. She just couldn't stand being in that room with him. He always wanted to know what she was doing. Studying her like she was a bug under glass. She'd prefer the isolation of the suite to Loki's ever-watchful, looming presence.

It was on one of her trips to the library that Nancy decided to try out the golden bracelet still clamped around her wrist. She knew it was a paralysis bracelet, but she didn't quite know what it did. How it worked. Deep in her soul, she knew she was still a scientist. An explorer seeking knowledge and truth. She glanced down at the intricate engravings and watched the light glisten off the gold. There was only one way to try it. Curiosity finally got the best of her.

Nancy stopped at the intersection of two hallways. If she turned left, she'd find her way to the entrance of the grand treasure-trove of books. But, if she turned right… who knew what was behind unknown Asgardian doors? With a slight grin, Nancy turned right and started down the hall.

She knew she'd get in trouble for this. Probably get her library privileges revoked. But she had to know. Had to know how far Loki was willing to let her go.

Another corner, then another, and the bracelet still hadn't kicked in. Strange. He must be either too distracted to notice where she was, or he'd allowed her more freedom than she'd originally thought. One final corner, and suddenly Nancy stood before two, great golden doors. A guard stood on either side, protecting what lay within. The doors looked very much like the doors to Loki's room, but instead of intricate carvings of snakes, these doors were decorated with two giant birds sitting atop a massive tree. In awe of the splendor of the engraving, Nancy took a step closer.

As soon as her foot touched the ground, her body suddenly felt very heavy, as if gravity had increased exponentially under her feet. She couldn't move an inch. Her arms hung at her sides, her treasured papers slipping from her hands. She no longer had the strength to hold them. A small whimper escaped her throat, but opening her mouth to scream was too laborious a task.

So, instead, all poor Nancy could do was stand frozen to the spot, waiting for Loki to appear to unfreeze her and give her a good chastisement. Well, she'd wanted to know what the bracelet did. And she found out, too.

* * *

/

* * *

Loki had had enough of strategy meetings. Too many people had too many ideas about how he should run his kingdom. About how to address the people as equals. About how to find traitors. If advisers weren't traditionally insisted upon in Asgardian culture, he'd fire them all. The Warriors Three were the only semi-sane advisers in the room. It had taken a lot to get them on board, but in the end it had been worth it.

Six hours into the meeting, Loki began to drowse. If he could make it back to his room, at least someone would be entertaining. Instead, he listened to his eldest adviser drone on and on about some law or another concerning traitors to the crown. He could save them all the trouble and step outside the gates unaccompanied. He had never needed guards before, as he had learned long ago to take care of himself. He could outsmart even the wiliest criminal, and...

Loki sat up straight as the tingling sensation began at the base of his skull. Of course, his adviser took it as interest and spoke louder. Idiot. Loki conferred with the snakes, who had no idea where she had gone. Mortal girl. Stupid, mortal girl. Had she no sense of self-control? What if someone had attempted to take her from this place?

With a sigh, Loki fixed in on the signal from the bracelet. She was no doubt frightened and utterly still, as she should be. It took little effort to leave a clone in his place and teleport away. The bracelet would lead him straight to her.

Sure enough, he appeared before two ancient golden doors. Doors he knew all too well. With a heavy sigh, he turned to see his pet standing all alone, utterly silent, and paralyzed.

A soft whimper rose out of Nancy's throat when her master suddenly appeared in front of her. Her vocal cords barely had the strength to move. Yes, this definitely had been a bad idea. She would've tried to explain herself, that she was merely curious, but her body remained absolutely frozen. Unable to move and hardly even able to breathe. A living statue. She tried to move her limbs, but they remained just as still as the rest of her. She whimpered again.

Loki expelled a breath and took a step forward. Deftly, he reached for her wrist and lifted it to touch the bracelet. That should do it. His own magic to dispel the side effects.

Nancy gasped and stumbled forward as she was released from the spell. She collapsed against Loki, her muscles twitching and aching as they recovered from the spell. "Well…" she panted, still trying to overcome her shock, "It works. It definitely works." She knew he would be furious with her for what she did. She braced herself for his latest fit of rage.

"I did warn you, pet," Loki chastised. Not that she had ever heeded his warnings in the past, but this one time he had almost expected her to obey him without question. It just went to show how much he knew about taming a mortal.

Nancy looked up at him and blinked. He didn't scream. He didn't grab her and nearly shake the life out of her. For once… he was calm. Something must be horribly wrong with him. She took a step back and looked at him. "I just wanted to see what it did." she explained, "Are you upset?"

"Yes." Loki folded his hands behind his back. Very upset that she had once again defied him, but one thing rang clearer in his mind. "But rather more curious how you found the Treasure Vault."

"The Treasure Vault?" Nancy glanced around him, looking at the doors, then turned her attention back to him. She shrugged. "I was just wandering around, trying to see how far I could go before the bracelet stopped me." She looked at the doors again and nodded to them. "What's in there?"

Oh, this could be such fun. Her enjoyment always amused him, and he liked to taunt her about things she could not understand. "You will know what the Tesseract is, surely." Loki strode around her and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "Things even greater than that."

Nancy's eyes widened. She remembered how powerful the Tesseract was. How Earth had nearly fallen time and again because her foolish species thought they could contain and control the power. The thought that Asgard had relics much more powerful than the Tesseract thrilled her. Her heart beat fast in her chest, the humanity inside her lusting to see the great hoard within the sacred vault.

"Could we… could we go… see?" she stammered, "Please?" Nancy could only imagine what treasures lay inside. Alien relics from a time long ago, priceless jewels that must never be seen by mortal eyes. She _had_ to go in. She just had to.

"Well, now." Loki circled back around to stand before her. "You haven't been a very obedient pet today. Is there any particular reason I should reward this bad behavior?"

Nancy blinked at his question, unsure what to answer. He was right, she had been disobedient. Blatantly disobedient. Why should she be allowed anything? She opened her mouth a couple times to speak, but only closed it again, unable to come up with a suitable answer.

With a huff, Nancy crossed her arms and stopped to think. Why should she be allowed entrance to the treasure room? Because she was a scientist, a researcher, and that room was full of all sorts of priceless cultural artifacts. Not to mention possibly scrolls of secret information – which allured to the spy in her and only fueled her desire to enter all the more.

Finally, she decided on an answer. "Because I just saved you from whatever boring task you were up to." Nancy challenged, "You've told me yourself how difficult ruling can be. And don't try to deny it. I've seen the way you look every night. Like you've had the life sucked right out of you. So, favor for favor. I saved you, you let me in."

Loki raised an eyebrow. Her bartering skills had improved since she arrived, but she didn't mean a word of what she said. He should know. "I think you only want in there to see what kind of science Asgard has over your precious Midgard." She should have known better than to test him. How many times did he have to reiterate it? He was not to be challenged.

Well, he wasn't exactly wrong. But he wasn't completely right, either. Who did he think he was to presume he knew what she wanted? If he'd done any sort of research on her and knew her as he thought he did, he'd know she was just as interested in the cultures behind the relics as the science. "What does it matter, what my purposes are?" she threw back, "We're both here now. We may as well go in." After so many months in his presence, she knew how to play this game. They played it often, and she was getting better… at least, she thought she was.

"Are you presuming to give orders, pet?" Loki smirked at her. He could just as soon deny her entrance as command the guards to open the doors.

Nancy sighed, relenting. "No. I'm sorry. I'm not. Could we _please_ go in and see the old relics, master?" She gave him a winning smile, just for emphasis. "I really want to see them. Not to study them or touch them. I just want to look."

Loki studied her. If he said yes, she would assume he had caved to her demands. If he said no, he would deny himself the privilege of seeing the amazement in those perfect eyes. He relented with a huff. "Five minutes, understood? And you will never run away again to see how far the jewelry will allow."

"Understood." Nancy smiled, gloating in her victory, and walked to the doors. She turned to give him a genuine smile, truly appreciative of his kindness. "Thank you for this."

Loki rolled his eyes and waved to the guards, who opened the doors wide. He stepped in front of Nancy to enter first. If he was going to cave, he at least wanted to see the wonder on her face.

As they entered, Nancy followed close behind him, her face lit in amazement. The old relics all sat in their own crevices in the walls. Torches flickered softly here and there. At the far end of the chamber, light poured in from a hazy window, through little squares made by the iron lattice before it.

This place was so wonderful and mysterious. She could feel the energy and magic in the air. "What do they all do?" she whispered, smiling at Loki.

Loki glanced around. "Oh, various things. See into other realms. Most can be used as weapons. That sort of thing."

"Ooh." Nancy carefully paced from one item to the next, looking them all over, much like a guest in a grand museum, looking around in wonder. Finally, she stopped in front of a little, glowing blue box, sitting on a podium before the iron lattice. The blue of the top and sides swirled, the pattern forming crystals on the sides. Each side was framed in bronze, iron, and stone. "What does this one do?" There had to be a reason it was separated from the rest.

Loki swallowed. Of course she would pick that one. The only relic that he didn't want to speak about. He rolled his shoulders back. "The Jotuns used it to war with ice."

"Hm. The Jotuns… from Jotunheim? The realm of the…" Nancy stopped to remember the Norse Mythology she'd memorized. The stories of giant rock creatures held together with ice. They were supposedly the most feared creature in all the realms. And as tall as mountains. "Frost giants." Nancy turned to look at him. "Have you ever seen one? Are they really _giants_?"

Loki blinked. "Well, we wouldn't call then giants if they weren't, now would we?" How could she presume they would incorrectly name such monstrous creatures? For a woman with brains, she asked the strangest questions.

Nancy made a mocking noise, then moved to the next item, feeling somewhat insulted. How cruel he could turn. So quickly. "It's not like I know everything about this place." she mumbled, "You can't expect me to."

Loki sighed and softened ever so slightly. "No. I do not expect you to know everything. Frost Giants are a… sore subject. Best to be avoided."

Nancy turned and looked at him. He held so much hurt and pain in his eyes. She walked closer and slipped her hand into his. "Wanna talk about it? Why don't you like them?"

Loki glowered down at her. He glanced at the hand in his, then back to her face. Had she thought him jesting? This subject was more serious than the rest by far. "Best. To be. _Avoided_ , pet."

Nancy shrugged and released him. "Fine." If he didn't want to talk, she wouldn't force him. She was just a little hurt he wouldn't talk to her about it. She stalked over to the Tesseract and gazed down at it, arms folded.

"You wouldn't want to know!" Loki called after her. If she didn't like it, so be it, but she would never want to know his true heritage.

"How do you know?!" Nancy snapped back, not even bothering to turn and look at him. It hurt so much more, knowing he thought she didn't want to know. That she didn't care. She _did_ care. But he would never believe her. "I don't even know anything about them!" Finally, Nancy turned and glared at him, her hurt showing on her face, in her eyes. "What does it matter? You're probably just upset because your brother could fight off more of them than you, or something." she challenged.

Loki spun at her and advanced far enough to pin her against a wall. He slammed his hands against the wall on either side of her shoulders. "Don't," his eyes turned red and skin began to change, " _ever_ say it doesn't matter. And never speak of Thor's opinions on the matter, either." By the time he finished his last sentence, his skin had changed to icy blue, and red eyes stared back at her from his Jotun form.

Nancy pressed herself back against the stone of the walls, completely frightened. She gazed in horror at his form, all words fleeing. She had no idea what he was going to do to her. Finally, after a moment, she found her voice. "Loki… please…" she whispered.

"You wanted to know what a Frost Giant was," Loki hissed. "Well, take a good look. I _am_ a Frost Giant. The monster all Asgardians detest." He placed a cold hand higher on the wall just above her shoulder.

Nancy panted, still frightened, and slowly looked him over. His skin had turned a beautiful shade of blue, little rings and lines appearing here and there on his skin. She could feel the coolness of his form. It was as if she was standing in front of a refrigerator, the coolness of his breath causing goosebumps to rise on the back of her neck.

Finally, Nancy's gaze met his eyes. Red, yes. But still containing the same light she'd grown to adore. She lifted a hand to touch his cheek, but stopped before she touched his skin. The nearer she got, the more she could feel the temperature change. Deciding not to chance a nasty case of frost-bite, Nancy let her hand fall back to her side again. "You're not a monster."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, but it appears you are the only one who thinks so." Slowly, his coloring changed back. Back to the Loki he knew from the mirror. If she hadn't pushed him to anger, he would never have shown her. Self-loathing coated him like a second skin.

As soon as he was back to normal, Nancy threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "You're not a monster." she whispered again, burying her face in his shoulder, "And never let anyone tell you that you are. You're beautiful, Loki. And I don't care what anyone else thinks."

Loki chuckled wryly. "I appreciate it." He let her hold him for a brief moment, then pried her arms off and took her hand in his. "Come. Let's get you back to my chambers, shall we?"

Nancy nodded and twined her fingers with his. "Good idea. I still have to finish analyzing the book I was reading."

"I know patronization when I hear it." Loki laughed at her and pulled her behind him out of the Treasure Vault. She had reacted better than he anticipated, but that was only a fraction of the darkness that laid dormant inside him.


	41. Chapter 41

Days faded to weeks faded to months. Nancy had no idea how long she'd been on Asgard. She'd tried to keep track, to journal every day, but sometimes it simply wasn't possible. But, with the gaps in her notebook came gaps in her internal calendar. So she gave up trying. She only journaled when she felt like it, instead turning her attention to other matters.

Weeks ago, she had successfully translated the Asgardian alphabet. Well, at least she thought she had. There were many more letters than the twenty-six she was used to. Strange symbols with a strange rhythm and order. To the best of her ability, she copied out all she remembered from different relics and languages of Earth, hoping to make a few matches here and there.

On this particular day, Nancy had started her morning early. While Loki attended his duties – he hardly paid her any sort of attention anymore – she expanded her research to include other alien languages. Perhaps they would hold the key to cracking the cipher that was the Asgardian written language. Table upon table in the library were scattered with various books and translations. Old English, Old Norse, Asgardian, as well as any language that looked particularly ancient were all classified and given their own table. The answer must be here somewhere, among the books.

Twelve hours she'd been at it. Twelve tireless hours, classifying and sorting. Although her body grew tired, her mind remained as sharp as ever. Finally, _finally_ , she was able to achieve the rush she loved. The knowledge and discovery she adored. The sun neared the horizon, yet she continued.

* * *

/

* * *

With a loud crash and a whoosh of air, the library doors flew open. Loki stopped in his tracks to stare at the various tables and messes. Books everywhere, papers strewn throughout. A pencil in his path and an inkwell overturned on another table. It was a miracle she hadn't overturned the library shelves. His jaw tightened as he surveyed them, then his pet, smack dab in the middle of them. Had she no idea what a haven should look like? Had she no respect for his sanctuary?

Nancy froze when she heard the doors slam back against the walls. Only one man would be furious enough to do such a thing. She carefully set her pen down on a nearby stack of papers and slowly turned to face him. "I know how this looks," she whispered hesitantly, pressing herself back against the table, "But I was going to clean it."

Loki took a single step into the room, still surveying the damage. He could hardly believe his eyes. How did one create such a mess in the first place? She knew what this library meant to him, how the organization and peace calmed him. Now, this chaos! " _This_ is how you spend the time apart from me?"

She moved to put the table between them, not that it would protect her much. "It's research. Years' worth of my research, finally put to use and realized. This is my life's work! I'm finally able to translate the un-translatable!"

He shifted his jaw muscles, trying desperately not to fist his hands at his sides. His library, his sanctuary, ruined. "Imagine my surprise when I returned to my chambers early to find my newest and _least obedient_ pet missing." He plucked at a paper as he passed a table. "I thought to myself, there is only one place she could be." He stopped just long enough to shove a pile of papers off the edge of a table. They clattered to the floor with a loud rustle. " _Had better_ be. And then, I find this."

Nancy knelt at his feet, carefully picking up her papers. How could he not see what this meant to her? She thought he'd be proud of the accomplishments she'd made. Why couldn't he ever let her have her little victories? "Please don't do this." she begged, her voice still barely above a whisper, "This is all I've ever worked for. All these days and hours of research."

" _Why_ , Nancy? Why leave the suite to soil my library?" He settled a hand on top of another stack of papers, set to send them flying, as well. "And I suggest you choose your answer carefully."

She glanced to his hand, considering what he'd do next. In all likelihood, he'd burn them. Burn every one of them. She clutched the papers in her hands to her chest as if to protect them. "Do you remember when I told you knowledge was more important to me than life itself?" She refused to make eye-contact with him. She wouldn't even look up at him. "This library is the treasure-trove of knowledge. I only wanted to know. Please, master. Have mercy."

He pushed the pile to the floor and took another step toward her. "You could have asked. Could have used the books provided in the suite, but your defiance demanded you leave. Is this not so?"

"No, master. I would never deliberately disobey you." Nancy scrambled back, away from him. Once she was certain she had the chance, she stood and backed away more. "Please. Please, I wasn't trying to disobey. There's more space in here. More resources. More languages."

Step by dangerous step, he started toward her. Rage boiled inside him and overflowed. "Why did you not _ASK_?!"

"Because I can't work with you in here!" Nancy dodged a bookshelf and moved to put a wooden ladder between them. Anything to keep him away from her. "You distract me."

"Then you request leave to use _my library_ while I attend my duties." His footsteps quickened ever so slightly, moving through the tables to reach her. His gaze never wavered. She would get this through her thick skull. This time, she would listen to what he had to say.

"I wanted to surprise you." Tears began to stream down her cheeks. "To speak to you in your own language one night, once I got good at it." In one swift move, she dodged him again and turned another corner… only to find a bookshelf directly in her path. She turned and stared at him, wide eyed. "Please, master." she begged again, "Please. Mercy."

The distance substantially narrowed, Loki maneuvered until he backed her toward a tall shelf full of books. "I should punish you, but first allow me a request. Tell me why I distract you, pet."

Nancy felt the wall of books behind her. There was nowhere for her to run or hide. She cowered back against the shelf and braced herself for him to strike. "Because you always want to know what I'm doing." She closed her eyes tightly and turned her face away from him. "What I'm writing. You're always judging me and I don't like it."

"Not _judging_. Overseeing. I told you once this is my opportunity to study you." Aware of every nuance and motion, Loki placed one hand against the book by her head. He slowly brought the other up to trace her face. Her beautiful, _perfect_ face. "You said, once, that I would not be your first." He allowed his gaze to meet hers, expecting acknowledgment or denial of the fact he had just stated.

At his soft touch, Nancy relaxed a bit and opened her eyes. She gazed at him like a frightened deer. "Yes. Just a couple agents from work. I… I was drunk both times. I never would've done it otherwise. Please, master, don't hurt me. I wanted our first time to be nice."

"Oh, that will not be your punishment. No, no, no. That was merely for my own curiosity." He removed his finger from her chin to rest it by her shoulder, successfully pinning her against the shelf. There was no means of escape now.

Her whole body trembled against him. "Then what are you going to do?"

"I have half a mind to lock you in the dungeons again, but it would only keep you from my displeasure. You will begin by cleaning this mess." He leaned closer to push himself back, and stepped aside so she could obey him. In his anger, she would know he meant immediately.

"Yes, sir." Nancy quickly moved to clear off the tables. She piled all the papers on the front table, where she could keep an eye on them. The books she returned to a small, wooden cart. She'd have to go through them later. It would take too long to return them all right now. Finally, she retrieved a rag and cleaned the spilled ink as best she could. Covered in ink and dust, she returned to Loki's side. "There. What else?"

"Only apples for the next week." He turned for the door, keeping his back to her, expecting her to follow. She should always follow when he was in such a dour mood. It would serve to her best interests. "I will have company tonight. You will not be allowed your usual resting place... unless you want a show." He smirked, knowing this punishment would be the worst he had doled. Ever. Something told him not to do it, but another part of him sought revenge for the ruination of his inner sanctum.

Nancy froze. He would have company? A woman. He was going to sleep with another woman tonight. He no longer wanted her. It had all been a lie. A great, beautiful lie meant to pull her in. But she'd lost her chance. So he'd moved on. He was completely, heartlessly rejecting her. Casting her down into the dust and the recesses of his mind. It all happened too soon.

"But…" Her mouth was suddenly dry, her legs as heavy as lead. She followed only out of obedience. "Then… where will I sleep?"

"The washroom. I will provide a pillow, but no blankets tonight."

"Why don't you just send me back to the dungeon?!" she spat, tears springing to her eyes once again.

He turned a hall and folded his hands behind himself so he didn't lash out at something. His boots clicked furiously against the stone floors. "Punishment, pet. Not a negotiation. Next time you will think twice before you disobey."

How dare he? He was such a pompous, arrogant, self-seeking bastard! How could he do this to her? Pull her in and make her love him, then toss her away as if the past months never happened? "I'm not an animal!" she screamed, the tears finally flowing.

"No. But you put yourself in this position. You will do well to remember this is avoidable in the future."

"Oh, so then you're punishing me for _reading_?" She crossed her arms and swiped angrily at her tears. Her stupid, weak tears. She used to be stronger than this. Brought to her knees by a crumbling lie.

"No, not for reading. For leaving without permission. For refusing to ask. For cluttering _my sanctuary_." His pace increased as his agitation increased. Surely she saw what she had done. Surely she knew she had disobeyed in the most unforgivable way. He had been lenient, really. If she could not understand his anger, she was not the woman he thought her.

Nancy quickly caught up to him and slammed a hand against his chest, stopping him. "I _did_ ask. One month ago, I asked if I could go to the library while you were away. You said I could."

"I did not, however, give you permission to strew your things about or not inform _anyone_ of your whereabouts. Not even a note, pet?"

"What is this collar for, then?!" she roared at him, gripping the damned thing, "You said it would show you where I am. _That's_ my note. You _knew_ where I was."

So much for self-control. She should know better than to push the boundaries of his forgiveness. Rage boiling, Loki slammed a fist into a nearby pillar. The stone dented and a piece crumbled to the floor. " _Defiance_! All I hear is one excuse after another. Disobedience and obstinacy."

"Definition of humanity!" she screamed in his face, "We're _all_ like this! You don't want voiced opinions, don't kidnap an American!"

Unable to bear it any longer, Loki spun on her and gripped her throat in one hand. The soft, supple flesh rippled under his touch, as though his anger had seeped through to touch her. "Speak again, breathe another disobedient word, and I assure you I will do far worse than this punishment."

 _Go to hell._ Nancy didn't say a word.

He removed his hand from her throat, one slender finger at a time. With a deep breath, he tried to control his rage and turned to move on toward his chambers. Would he never be able to hold down his emotional outbursts?

"I hope one day your burn in the deepest, darkest pit the universe has to offer, you selfish bastard."

That was it. The last straw. How could one small woman even possess such insolence within her? How had she not spent every last ounce of it by now? No, he would not stand for this outright disdain for all he stood for and all he did. He spun back around and latched a hand around her arm. "Wish all you want, but you belong to me. You _agreed_ to my terms and you will abide by them."

"Well, I take back my agreement." Nancy yanked at her arm, but his grip was too strong. "I will _never_ belong to you."

A sinister, breathy laugh forced its way from his throat. Her question was too ridiculous to take seriously. She knew darkness simmered within him. Well, tonight she would find out how dark he could be. "It is too late for that. But, if you persist in this line of obstinacy, I would burn your precious papers first. I would move on from there."

"You don't scare me."

"Don't I?" It took little effort to drag her into his chambers behind him. As if pushed by some unseen force, the doors closed and locked with a click. He never laid a hand on them. He continued dragging his pet, through his room toward the door he wished. "I will have to remedy this." He thrust her into the washroom, sure to push her hard enough to keep her off balance until he could close the door. And he locked it, a green shimmer highlighting the edges of the door.

Nancy fell into the washbasin, smacking her forehead on it. She gripped its sides and righted herself, noticing for a brief moment the gash on her forehead. It looked so similar to the one she'd received on the helicarrier.

"Is that all you've got?" she screamed, running to the locked door. When it wouldn't budge, she slammed her fists into it. "What if I decide to drown myself? You don't own me! You'll never own me!"

Oh, please. How petty could she possibly be? Loki rolled his eyes at her pathetic antics. Even so, she made a good point. He ensured the water would never run for her with a simple flick of his wrist. The pipes would hold it in or channel it elsewhere.

With a sigh, Loki sank onto his bed to wait. To wait for his pet to calm herself as she so desperately needed to do. And to wait for his newest guest to arrive. He smiled. Tonight would not be a waste, after all. He would have something he wanted, even if it was not his pet's obedience. He would find his own pleasure, and his pet could rot for all he cared. He was sick and tired of her screaming at him, berating him for rules that had stood as long as the foundations of her planet.

When he got tired enough of her frantic, pathetic, angry screams, Loki took his time soundproofing the door. Each stitch of magic drowned out her incessant tantrum. One way only. He wanted this to be punishment, not solitary. No matter how hard she pounded or screamed, he would finally be unable to hear her. She, however, would be perfectly able to hear through the wooden door. He let the maniacal smirk play on his face. Too long he had been lenient. Far too long.

* * *

/

* * *

"You monster!" Nancy sobbed, exhausted, as she sank to her knees. She pounded once more on the door, her arm weak from fighting. "I loved you. You hear me? I loved you! But you could never love a pet, could you? You bastard!" Her sobs rocked her body, her wail deafening. But it was all in vain. Loki couldn't hear her.

* * *

/

* * *

After much waiting, Loki finally heard the satisfactorily timid knock on his chamber door. He smiled. As usual, she had perfect timing. The games began.

Loki answered the door himself and looked out at the petite blonde woman he had begun to woo at dinner. Well, that's what he told himself. In honesty, he found her just a little naïve when it came to a man's desires and that was something he found completely endearing about her. He had begun his advances days earlier, vetting her for his own personal pleasure and ensuring she would not balk at his advances. She had tried to, of course, at the beginning. But no woman could rightfully say no to their king, could they?

He smiled at her, a sincerity in it he felt with only one other. He bit back the scowl and swept an arm behind himself. "Oh, Maija, do come in."

Maija – beautiful, golden-haired Maija – did as he requested, though he read the timidity, bashfulness, and slight fear in her eyes. "I... I do not think tea in the king's quarters unchaperoned is highly advisable," she managed to squeak out. The tension in her posture spoke more than the nervousness in her voice. She was afraid.

He would most certainly have to remedy that. He laughed lightly and shut the door. "For my purposes, it is." His touch was gentle and soothing as he steered her to a chair and settled her in. A service had already been sent with tea and finger foods. He served Maija himself. Servants need not see such intimate moments as this. Loki settled in next to her on a chair of his own and didn't bother to pour himself any tea or take any food from the tray. That was not why he was here.

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy sat upright when she heard soft murmuring from the bedroom. How could he? Had she meant nothing to him? All along, were all his actions lies? She pressed her ear to the door and listened intently. The guest had arrived.

* * *

/

* * *

"I could not take my eyes from you this evening." With earnest tenderness, Loki tucked her hair behind her shoulders. She usually wore it over them, cowering shyly from the world around her. But he saw her, even when no one else had. He saw the beauty beneath, the shy creature no one took a second look at.

His pet had never been like this, quiet and demure. She had never truly taken him as he was, or listened past his rules to see the meaning. He had thought she might, once, but her outburst today had only proved she could never love him. Not in the way he wanted so desperately to love her. Loki shoved all thoughts of her to the back of his mind. Not now. He wouldn't think of her now.

Maija giggled nervously and took a sip of her tea. She avoided eye contact altogether.

So Loki tried a more obvious tactic, hoping to perhaps draw a word or two from the girl's lips. "Your dress is..." He eyed it up and then back down. Yards of silver and blue that hugged her curves in all the right ways. He sighed in adoration. "...positively ravishing." In an attempt to make his intentions quite clear, Loki dropped to his knees beside the arm of her chair. "As is its mistress."

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy sobbed again and stood to kick at the door. How many times had he spoke the same words to her? She fell right into his trap, over and over again. It was all a game. Only a game. She'd been so naïve to think he loved her.

She pounded furiously on the door, demanding to be heard. Slammed her body against it. Anything to get his attention. "Is this how you repay me?" she sobbed, "I stayed with you! I visited you! I loved you when no one else would even want to! Listen to me! Loki! _Loki!_ " But her words went unheard.

* * *

/

* * *

"Thank you, your majesty." Maija looked the other way and shifted nervously again.

Such modesty and naïveté. Loki chuckled and brushed her hair farther from her pristine porcelain neck. "You've not played privy to a king's desires, have you?"

"N-no, majesty."

 _Good_ , Loki thought to himself. He leaned closer, breathing in her sweet scent. "I swear I shall not harm you." His own heartbeat speeding up, Loki leaned in and kissed her neck, near her collarbone. One of the most sensitive areas, he had found. For a moment, he wished it was Nancy under his touch, responding to his ministrations. Would she react as this girl did now? Or would she merely bat him away, demanding to be left alone. As she always did.

Maija gasped in surprise and Loki felt her move a bit. A clatter signified she had set her tea back on the service before she dropped it. He smiled to himself and kissed at the joint between her neck and shoulder.

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy leaned against the door to steady herself. The room was spinning and she felt as if she would faint. "I love you." she whispered, over and over again, "I still love you."

* * *

/

* * *

Like a good girl, Maija didn't resist Loki. He kissed up her neck, down her jaw, and finally claimed her mouth, and she did nothing but lean into his embrace. She shook, but she leaned into him. She was soft under his touch, and entirely feminine. Even though she feared, Loki felt certain he could dissuade it. He smiled again. He rested his hands on her waist and waited until she relaxed into the touch. His ministrations to her lips and neck never ceased.

"You are most beautiful," he whispered to her, as he wrapped his arms farther around her.

Maija's breath hitched in her throat, then started again.

Loki stood and pulled her to him, slowly backing toward the bed. He didn't want his skitterish little lamb running away, so he never ceased his kisses. "I do swear I will be gentle," he promised. For once, he meant every word. He planned to be very gentle with her, so as not to break her. Someone so porcelain should not be shattered so carelessly.

Nancy had never broken, not once after all the times he had tried. She only pushed him away and never let him in. Not like this. Not ever. He wouldn't allow himself to regret this, not after all the abuse he had suffered at Nancy's hands in hopes she would one day be this pliable under his touch. She wasn't porcelain, and she wasn't all finery and softness. She had hard edges, edges that cut the closer he tried to come. He should never have let her see inside of him.

When Maija stilled as they approached the bed, he leaned to hold her tighter and whisper one more thing. "I shall pay close attention only to your pleasure, my lady. Allow me to tend to you as you should be tended."

* * *

/

* * *

And then there was silence. Silence broken by the occasional moan. Nancy knew what they were doing.

She stumbled over to the basin, clutching it for support. Her head swam. How could he do this to her? Her eyes rose to meet her reflection. To land on the golden collar. Her collar. "I'm not a pet." She whispered.

In an instant, the image changed. She wore the collar no longer, but instead her blue suit. Her hair was swept up into a bun at the back of her skull. Her S.H.I.E.L.D. badge hung from her front pocket, her notebook tucked neatly under one arm.

Nancy stared at the image. Gaped at it. An image she'd grown so used to seeing. Her own self. Her own reflection. The reflection of who she was, who she knew herself to be.

But then it changed again. The image faded back to reveal her as she really was. Golden collar, green dress. Pet.

An inhuman scream pierced the air. Nancy's fist made contact with the mirror, shattering the image into hundreds of broken, fragmented pieces. As she pulled her hand away, blood already dripping to the smooth, golden floor, one single shard clattered into the basin. It was long and sharp, like a dagger.

Nancy picked it up and turned it over in her hand, the sharp ridges slicing her palm. She brought it up to her neck and slipped it under her collar. She would be free of his rule. Or die trying.

* * *

/

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 **A/N: For the record, just because Loki's being an idiot and punishing everyone involved in this chapter including himself, do not think that the authors of this fic agree with his actions. He acted on his own on this one and we are both very disappointed in him. It's okay, guys. This is not the end. Keep waiting for more updates.**


	42. Chapter 42

Loki was sure to let Maija rest to her heart's content, her blonde hair splayed across his pillows, shoulder, and chest. She looked so peaceful when she slept, so serene. If he thought too far, he would realize he could get used to the sight of her like that in the morning. How could feelings get so confused inside him? Hadn't he thought on multiple occasions what it would be like to see his pet lying there in the morning? But... Maija had hair spun pure gold and eyes the depths of the sea. She was small and fragile and practically screamed "protect me" without ever saying a word. He sighed heavily. How strange a creature, the heart.

After Maija woke – and he made sure he memorized every feature of her before that happened – Loki ensured an escort to take her safely home. He had enjoyed her, and enjoyed teaching her. She would be back, he was sure. When she had gone, he remembered his note to himself and unlocked the washroom door. His pet would emerge eventually. He, on the other hand, needed sleep. He turned back for the bed.

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy never heard the door unlock. She never stirred from her spot in the far corner. She sat still, only her hand moving. The glass slid back and forth under her bracelet. A jolt of electricity shook her body, but she seemed unfazed, the nerves in her wrist scorched dead. The glass passed under the priceless gold again. Another jolt shook her system. Again and again and again. A drop of blood slid down the back of her neck, further dampening her blood-stained dress. Green fabric hung in tatters from her collar, sliced to shreds by the glass.

* * *

/

* * *

After his brief nap, Loki looked around the room, searching. He expected to see his pet, somewhere, doing something. Instead, the room seemed empty. The washroom door stood closed. He sat bolt upright and listened. Intently. What could she have done to herself while locked in there? She couldn't have harmed herself, could she? He heard nothing. Not a single sound. So Loki did the logical thing. He shot from bed and flung the washroom door wide, not caring if he found her in a bath or asleep. He had to know.

The door slammed against the wall.

Loki froze, completely shocked. "Pet, what have you done?"

Her hands trembled, her knees curled to her chest. Blood streaked down her neck, chest, arms and legs. It dripped from her hands, still tightly clenched around the shard of glass. Glass surrounded her, embedding itself in her clothes and body. The shard had broken many times, pieces breaking off under her skin.

"I loved you." Her words were barely audible, her eyes staring blankly at the floor. "I… loved you. Did you know? You had to know. Yet you did it anyway. I'm not a pet… pet. But I'll be good. I'll be good this time. Good pet. Good pet. Did you know I loved you?"

What had _he_ done? Loki swallowed, surveyed the damage, and stepped closer. He had never meant to drive her to this. Punish her, yes, but drive her to hurt herself? No. He studied the cuts, none deep enough to kill, but all deep enough to fester. "We must wash your wounds, lest they become infected."

"You never asked me why I went down to see you." Her thoughts came in flashes of memory, jumbled together and clouded over. "It was against orders. But I had to see you. I had to. I had to meet you. When I saw you I knew I had to meet you."

"I did ask, long ago. You would not answer." Carefully, wincing with every piece, Loki pried the glass from her delicate fingers. Blood gushed anew and he swore quietly to himself. He had caused this. Her injuries were all his fault.

Pain was beyond her now. She never felt the slivers leave her hands. "I… I don't remember..." Her eyes were vacant. Dead. "I went down because I didn't want you to be alone. You were so very… very alone. I know what that's like… to be alone. Alone amongst the crowd, living in the shadow of an older sibling… miles from anyone who ever cared. I wanted to study you. But it was more than that. So… so much more."

Loki reached to the sink for a damp rag and pressed it against her wounds. Thankfully, it seemed there was more dried blood than actual injuries. He breathed a sigh of relief and hoped she would be alright. This sudden reverie would suggest otherwise. He sincerely hoped he hadn't mentally broken her. Had he pushed too hard? He had to bring her back, to something that felt like the normal daily routine. He continued washing away the blood, removing the bracelet to do so, with only a short whispered word. He sighed. "What was it then, pet?"

"I saw your pain… when all anyone else saw was a monster." Finally, exhausted, Nancy leaned her forehead against his shoulder. "You're not a monster…. Ever since that day, I have loved you. That's why I went to your cell, in the Tower. To visit you, under the ruse of studying you. The others couldn't know. They wouldn't understand. No one ever understood. I loved you."

Loki maintained his long, gentle strokes with the cloth. He had made a mistake. A very terrible mistake, in tossing her aside. In not paying more explicit attention to her. He would never admit it, but he had mistaken her. He had misjudged her. And now he paid the price. Now _she_ paid the price. He would never unsee the terror of her blood on his floor. Never. And to hear she loved him, after he had locked her in here and forced her to listen to everything last night... Loki's heart tore in his chest.

Slowly, some semblance of sanity began to return to her. Something somewhere in her mind began to piece itself back together. A sob escaped her throat as she was brought back to reality. "You don't love me!" Her tears began anew. "I'm an animal to you. A pet. You could never love me. All I'll ever be to you is a pet."

"How would you know this?" He moved the rag from her arms to her hands, more careful now that he ran it over fresher wounds. He did not want to hurt her further. How could he have been so blind? So stupid!

"Because you locked me in here and had that woman instead."

Loki swallowed. He had assumed, very wrongly, that she could never love him. Had he not wanted her, even as he took Maija? He should have stopped before he made it irreversible. He dabbed at a freshly opened wound with the cloth. She would never believe it, but he had to try. "Until this moment, I knew not of your desire for me. Therefore, I took the time to woo her, thinking you fairly hated me."

"What?" Nancy lifted her head to look at him. How could he not have known? "Why would I hate you?"

"Why would you not?" He calmly finished one hand and reached for the other. She might need someone to stitch up the injuries. He would be sure to examine them before making a final decision. The healers were only a moment away if anything here became too much for him to handle alone.

"I should." Nancy agreed, resuming her place against his shoulder, "After everything you put me through, I should hate you. But, through everything, you never really hurt me."

"Starvation, last night, and you dare to say I've not hurt you?" Loki clucked his tongue, chiding himself as well as her. How many times had Frigga warned him that his temper would get the better of him one day? Well, she had been right, and that day had come. Had she foreseen this tragedy? Had she known that he would have love before him and choose instead to follow his own lust? Curse his pride and stubbornness!

"I mean, physically. You put me through mental torture, but you never once struck me. Well, except for the flogging. And few hair-pulls every now and again, but that's it. You could've done much worse if you wanted to."

He chuckled wryly. "You never cease to confound me, pet."

And there was that term again. Pet. After everything she'd been through, everything she'd confessed, he still called her 'pet'. All she would ever be is a pet. Nothing she had ever done mattered to him. All she'd done to bring out the good and just in him, forgotten. Pet. He didn't care. He'd never care. Nancy turned her face away, hurt and broken.

Her rejection broke him. His heart, his spirit, his determination. It was then that Loki realized he didn't want her obedience or her submission. He wanted _her_. He blinked to stop the tears before they began. A strong man didn't cry. Deftly, he finished cleaning her blood from her and scooped her up into his arms. Instead of perfecting her, he had broken her. He knew it by her vacant eyes, her passive allowance of his ministrations. He carried her back to the bedroom.

"Did I ever tell you I had a bird once?" Nancy whispered, her gaze still distant, "It was just a little thing. A sparrow."

"No. You did not." Out of habit, he steered toward the chaise, but at the last second he decided against it. She may be his pet, but she was not his animal. He changed direction.

"I was about eight or nine. There was a bad storm and it was knocked out of its tree. Had a broken wing. I found it after the storm passed. My dad said for me to protect it while he went to the store to get a cage and some food. I guarded that little bird with my life, protecting it from cats and dogs and other birds. My sister thought I was crazy.

"When my dad got back, we put the bird in the cage, gave it some food, and waited for it to get better. Every day, I sat next to that cage. I gave it food, water, treats, love. Then... one morning... I ran downstairs to see my little bird. But, it wouldn't wake up. It had just closed its eyes and died. I cried for days. My dad told me that it died because wild things weren't meant to be put in cages. I never understood that... until now."

Loki nestled her on the bed, his side of the bed, and smiled wryly. _Oh, how true it is,_ he thought to himself. Aloud, he granted her his opinion on the story. "Sometimes, something beautiful can be made from broken pieces." He leaned down to gently kiss her forehead. How had he fallen so far? What had he done to her? "I release you to sleep, little one."

* * *

 **/**

* * *

Loki sat with his finger poised on his lips, deep in thought. How did he remedy this? With this new-found information, how did he proceed with her? She... loved him? Who had ever said that aside from his mother? Perhaps Thor, once. But that was not the same. That was not what she offered when she spoke of love.

Nancy woke slowly, feeling like she'd slept for days. Everything had only been a nightmare. Only a nightmare. Surely. She sat up and looked around. It was then she realized she was in his bed. Nancy glanced up to find him sitting across the room, in his chair. "Why am I in your bed?" her voice was still hoarse from sleep.

Loki looked up to meet her gaze and tried to smile. "You were tired and hurt. I made an exception."

She sat up and leaned back against the silken pillows. Her arms brushed against the fabric and she winced. They still hadn't healed properly. "And now? Do you want me to move?"

"I've yet to decide." He returned his finger to his lips, still thinking. He rather liked the sight of her sleeping in his spot. Even more so than he had liked the sight of Maija's golden hair splayed across him and his pillows. Strange, how he wanted her to return to sleep and not move, just so he could gaze upon her peaceful form. He wanted to watch her chest rise and fall with the rhythm of her breathing, to see her lashes tucked neatly against her porcelain cheekbones. More than anything, he didn't want either of them to say anything that would ruin this moment.

Nancy sat there, watching him. Watching him watching her. Wondering what he was thinking. Memorizing every detail of his face, should she never see him again. His sleek, black hair. His gorgeous green eyes. The pale softness of his skin. She'd miss his smile the most. Finally, after whole minutes of silence, Nancy spoke. "Are you angry with me for what I said?"

"Angry? No. Befuddled." He stood with a sigh, having finally made up his mind. Only one thing could be done about this situation. He needed to think straight, and he couldn't do that while she sat before him. He didn't like it any more than she would, but it had to be done so he could think straight. "I think it is best if you spend the night in your prior cell whilst I sort my thoughts."

Nancy's heart sank. He was sending her away. Putting her back in her cell like a doll on a shelf. "Are you going to get rid of me?" She looked up into his eyes, searching… begging for his mercy. "Now that you know… it might be difficult to keep me as a pet."

"As I said, I must sort my thoughts. Let me not make a rash decision."

She nodded solemnly. How had everything gone so wrong? Nancy stood and resumed her posture of obedience. She couldn't look at him. It'd only hurt her more. "Thank you for allowing me to stay here these past few months. I've enjoyed it." She had enjoyed her time with him. Despite the difficulties, she had enjoyed spending time with him. Laughing and cuddling and generally being together. It was all gone now. Nancy was truly sorry to have disobeyed. She would do anything to stay with him. Anything. "And I am sorry I disobeyed. So very sorry, master." Her voice broke, her tears beginning again.

He gave her a sad smile. He had never meant to turn her into... this. He had only meant for her to understand. For her to tame her tongue now and then. Not to cower in his presence every time she saw him. "It isn't as though I am waiting to _end_ you."

"Yes, you are." she countered, still not looking at him. "Sending me back to that cell is just as bad as killing me yourself. It's worse! It's as close to death as I've ever been. Trapped in blinding whiteness, alone with my thoughts. Isolated from anyone I've ever known or loved."

Of course she would feel like that. Had he not felt like that, as well? He quickly stood from the chaise and walked to her side. Intuitively, he pressed the back of his fingers to her cheek, wanting only to feel her warm skin beneath his fingers. This separation, this regression, hurt him just as much as her. If only she knew how he ached to keep her by his side. "Just for one night, love."

 _Love_. He'd never called her that before. He'd never even called the woman last night 'love'. It was a term reserved only for those he truly loved. Nancy's eyes finally rose to meet his. "Don't forget me." She leaned close and pressed her lips to his, kissing him softly and sweetly. If he remembered nothing else, she wanted him to remember her kiss.

Loki accepted her gift of a kiss and smiled down at her. "You slept through luncheon. Do you wish to eat before I return you?"

Nancy tried her best to smile. To lighten the tense mood. "I believe I just paid for an apple."

With a flourish, Loki made an apple appear in his palm and stretched it out toward her. He would miss this ritual, if he did send her away. But he knew he never would. She was far too precious to him. If she left, he knew he would regress into someone he hardly knew. Someone he hated. He could not go back to that sorrowful, desperate place he had been before Midgard. He could not allow anything to turn him once more into a raving lunatic, a monster of the highest degree. She would undoubtedly stay. The only question he asked himself: would their arrangement of pet and master work, or did he need her worse than that?

Nancy gave a sad smile. Even though she'd grown to hate the taste of apples, Nancy knew she'd miss them, if only because he'd given them to her. She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. After a moment or two, she stepped back. "Send for the guards. I'll leave now."

"I will take you myself." He offered his hand, hoping she would take it. Hoping she didn't hate him for all he had done to her. If he could offer only one gesture to assure her he had never meant to truly harm her, this was it. He needed something to show him there was indeed hope.

Nancy stared at his hand. How could he change so quickly? Last night, he had despised her. Thought her no better than a dog. Now, he offered her his hand. Called her 'love'. Had the thought he'd nearly lost her somehow changed him? Timidly, Nancy slid her hand into his.

Loki walked her through the halls and down the stairs toward the dungeons. It was the last place he wanted to leave her, but he was fairly certain she would be safe there and he needed time alone to process his thoughts. He knew his mood was pensive, but he could not help it. He held her hand as though it might be the last time, though deep down he had a feeling it would not be. He intended to keep her. If only she would have him.

Nancy could only stare at him. He was so solemn. So remorseful. He looked as though the weight of the world had come crashing down on his shoulders. She wished he would talk to her. Speak of what was going on in his mind. Give her a sign everything would be okay.

"You still do not understand my moods." He looked over to catch her bewildered expression. He must seem insane to her. First, she admitted she loved him and now he took her back to a dungeon cell. Perhaps he was crazy, but he needed only one night away from her to ensure he thought with his head and not his heart. If he chose to keep her close, he did not want to risk losing her. "You wear your thoughts like stitching on a sleeve. You wonder why I behave as I do."

"Yeah, I never was very good at hiding my emotions." She looked up at him, studying the sincerity in his eyes. "I guess I'm just still trying to figure you out. All this time, and it seems I hardly know you. You change so often." Nancy paused, considering her next request. "What were you thinking just a moment ago? When you looked so sad and solemn."

"I should not have done what I did last night. Had I known your true feelings, I..." He shrugged. He didn't know. He might have still bedded Maija. He really did like her. Might even have feelings for her. But, Nancy had been there first. Would he have denied himself the pleasure of having Maija in order to save Nancy despair? He didn't know anymore. Part of him screamed yes, that he would have continued to woo Nancy instead. Another part laughed at him, mocked him. Both were equally loud.

"Which part?" Nancy pulled her hand away from him and crossed her arms. "The 'lock me in the washroom' part, or the 'sleep with some mystery woman _while_ I'm in the washroom' part?"

"The latter." He snapped out of his reverie and gave her another sad smile. "I do not so much regret the first. Though I would rather you had not hurt yourself."

"I wasn't trying to." With a sigh, she dropped her arms again and retook his hand. "I just wanted the collar off. And the bracelet."

He sighed. It was time he told her the reason for those things. Beyond the initial desire to frighten her and keep her in line, those things kept her safe. They allowed him to know where she was and to know she had not wandered off or been taken from him. "I fear for your safety. This is why I gave them to you."

"But I'm safe in the palace." She motioned around them with a sweep of her arm, motioning to the guards placed every ten yards apart. "There are guards everywhere."

"All this time I have been busy, did you not once think it was to provide safety? I daresay many here within these walls are not as loyal as they claim."

"Oh." Nancy frowned. She hadn't actually given much thought to why he was always gone. "I guess I just thought you were hearing complaints from your subjects, picking out foods for your feasts, and having tea in the garden all day. Actually… I thought you were avoiding me on purpose. Since I was just a pet, you didn't need me around all the time."

"Complaints, yes. Some. The chamberlain sees to the foods. And I've hardly had time for the garden." He sighed again. She didn't need to know all the stresses he had borne lately. All the meetings and strategy sessions that had gotten them nowhere. Traitors knew how to hide until the time was right to show their true colors. "But I've said too much already." They reached the dungeon doors, though he was not ready. Even so, he pushed them open.

Nancy stilled, but was quickly tugged after him. "This is _just_ for tonight? You're not locking me away like one of your snakes?"

"Of course not! I gave you my word. One night whilst I sort my thoughts and feelings." He tried to smile, to reassure her, but the truth was he could not bear the thought of leaving her there again. In that horrible place he had long ago been hidden away. Oh, if only he knew his true thoughts better, he would keep her close. Could he give her what she wanted, he would not put her back there.

She looked up at her cell. Cold and white as death. It was a horrible, cruel cell. She looked to Loki again, studying his face for the last time. She knew she'd never see him again. He was immortal. A great, powerful king. She, less than a dog now.

Nancy stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, cherishing the feel of his body against hers. She kissed him, slow and passionate. "I should've told you sooner." She lifted a hand to caress his cheek. To stroke his hair. "Maybe you would've been as nice as you are now."

"Doubtful. And I cannot guarantee I will always be this kind." With a gesture, he shut off the barrier so she could enter. The last time he would ever do that, he swore to himself.

She nodded slowly and turned for her cell. There was no going back now. She slowly climbed the steps, climbing to her fate.

Nancy turned and looked at him, trying to memorize every detail about him. "No matter what you decide," she whispered, "I will always love you."

He raised the barrier with a sigh. He sent her one last, longing look and then turned to the guards. She would be safe here, or else. He let his glare speak more than his simple instructions. "No one touches her. No one even comes near her."

Reluctantly, Loki forced himself to leave. Every step away from her weighed on his conscience like an anvil. He shut himself in his chambers and locked the doors. Tonight, he would pace and think. Tomorrow, he would act on his decision.


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: Hey, guys! Yes, I know this is a short chapter, it's set-up for things to come. Slight trigger warning, so be warned. This one is sad, but better things to come...**

* * *

Nancy could only pace back and forth in her cell as she waited for Loki's decision. She hoped beyond hope he would keep her. But she knew better. He'd had that woman for a reason, even if he said he regretted it now. He didn't regret it while he was doing it, and that's what scared her the most. He could have any woman he wanted. Why would he choose a mortal?

* * *

/

* * *

Galt Dorson stalked through the dungeons. How dare the commander lower his rank down to one such as this? To be guarding the dungeons was a lowly punishment, reserved only for the new trembling waifs _his_ _majesty_ decided to hire. How dare Commander Neld sentence him here, just for plundering a few of Loki's golden relics? It's not like the king needed them anyway. Not that Loki was the king. In Galt's opinion, Thor was the rightful king. He would always be the true heir to the Asgardian throne.

He'd been there when Odin brought back the little twerp from Jotunheim. It'd all seemed so mysterious. A baby came out of nowhere. Odin said the Jotuns were going to sacrifice it to their gods. Told his subjects the queen simply hadn't shown herself to be pregnant. But Galt knew. He'd always known Loki was evil. Nothing from Jotunheim could ever be good.

He passed the cell of a young maiden, then backtracked. Not just any maiden. Loki's consort. The red-haired beauty he'd brought to court once. Galt had seen how Loki doted on her. How he'd nearly killed the nobleman who spoke against her.

A maniacal grin spread across his features. He could get revenge like this. Revenge on the commander who'd sentenced him. Revenge on the usurper. Revenge on the Jotuns who'd caused the war. Mortals were hardly worth their weight. Little more than dogs. Demanding of a master. Well, he'd tame her.

Galt approached Nancy's cell and grinned. Suddenly, a hand made contact with his breastplate.

"You know our orders, Galt. She cannot be touched." The guard was small… scrawny really. "Back away."

"Per." Little runt. "You back away." Galt drew his sword. "Go on, little mouse. Back to your little hole."

Per unsheathed his own sword. "No. I will not allow you to harm her!" As the guards circled, jeers and taunts grew louder and louder from the inmates.

Nancy backed into the corner of her cell, though still near enough to the barrier that she could see them.

Per jumped and dodged, small enough to avoid Galt's heavy-handed blows. But he was new to the sword and unskilled. In a few short moves, Galt ran Per though. He sank to his knees, then fell to his side, dead.

"Now." Galt wiped a spray of blood from his grizzled face and looked to Nancy. "For my prize."

"No!" Nancy backed as far against the far wall as she could, gripping at her collar with both hands. Anything to summon Loki to her side. "Loki! _Loki!_ "

The barrier lowered, then rose again as Galt stepped through. "Nowhere to run, mortal. You fat pig. Let's hear how loud you can squeal."

Nancy cowered back and sank to the ground, her eyes wide with fear. "Loki! _Loki!_ Please! Master!"

Galt advanced on her.

"Loki!"

But Loki never heard her.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Okay, I couldn't do it. I couldn't make you guys wait a whole week for the next chapter. I thought I'd be able to, but I couldn't leave Nancy like that. Without further ado, please have chapter 44...**

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At dawn, two newly recruited guards sulked down to the dungeons. How boring. Watching inmates was the equivalent of watching fish in one of the Midgardian fish bowls. They never did anything.

But on this particular morning, the guards entered to find the dungeon ravaged, the halls covered in blood. One of the inmates closest to the door hooted with laughter.

"Ye should've seen it. Oh, I'd pay a pretty gold coin to see that again. And how she did scream."

"What happened here?!" the larger guard demanded, standing tall.

"Go over and have a look-see for yourself. King won't want her now."

The second guard rushed over to Nancy's cell, only to step back in horror. "I'll go wake the king!" In an instant, he was out the dungeon doors, sprinting for Loki's chamber.

"Sire!" the small guard pounded on Loki's door with all his strength. "Sire! Your mortal!"

* * *

/

* * *

It was the early hours of the morning when Loki finally decided how to proceed. What needed to be done to make things right. He would usually wait, but he couldn't bear the thought of her in that cell for one more minute than he needed to think. She would be so pleasantly surprised when he returned earlier rather than later. With a smile, he donned a cloak, quite ready to head out to the early morning garden for a brisk walk before telling his pet his final decision. She would quite enjoy it.

It was then that he heard the beating on his door. His smile fell. He couldn't make out what the guard said, but something flipped in the pit of his stomach. His exuberant mood sank. He flung the doors wide to stare at the man. "What in Odin's name...?"

"Your mortal, sire." the young guard panted, "You must come quickly. She was attacked."

Loki's eyes narrowed as the anger began to build. He had given specific instructions that she was not to be touched. No one was supposed to come near her. Had the orders not been passed on? Who would dare to disrespect them? He stormed past the guard at his door and quickened his steps as he raced for the dungeons, shouting only one order over his shoulder. "Come along!"

Loki began to survey the damage the instant he could see her cell. This was not how he had imagined this morning. She should have been fine. Instead, she lay on the floor, utterly exposed. Bruises had formed along most of her body, and her eyes remained closed. Someone had retrieved the muzzle in the cell and tightened it around her head, just one more fact that fueled his ire. As he neared, his gaze swept to the long streams of blood crusting on her inner legs. He set his jaw. Whoever had done this would indeed pay.

He didn't bother to turn off the barrier, opting instead to step through it as he swung his cloak from his shoulders. She wouldn't want all these people to see her naked form. She hadn't even wanted him to see it. "Send for the healers."

At the feeling of a soft cloth covering her body, Nancy barely opened her eyes. She could almost make out a familiar shadow. His voice was distant, muffled. She whimpered, a soft – barely audible – sound. She had to let him know she was still alive.

As he tucked the cloak around her, for warmth and for coverage, Loki assessed where the bruises were. The pain must be excruciating. She lay at an odd angle, perhaps in too much pain to realize it. Surely she had broken bones. And was that a handprint on her throat? He would slice the man in half. Quietly, he prodded her with his words. "Keep still, love."

She couldn't stop the tears. They fell of their own accord. Nancy whimpered again, this time a bit louder. When she did, her lungs shuddered within her, her ribs shattered. A gurgling noise rose out of her throat and she tasted blood in her mouth.

Loki reached for the muzzle only after he had covered her. Whoever had fastened it had pulled it too tight, causing it to bruise the skin around her mouth. Blue and purple lines marred her creamy skin, standing out garishly against her pale complexion. He pulled the muzzle off slowly so the pain would be less than what it could be. Then he reached with a single dagger to the bindings on her wrists.

Nancy cried out as her hands were freed, blood splattering out onto the blinding white floor. Her head dropped down, lacking all strength to move. "Let me sleep…." The words came out in a wheeze, barely making it to the surface at all. Her whole body burned and ached. All she wanted was to slip under and fade away.

Loki closed his eyes for a brief moment. Of course. She was in pain, and he hadn't done anything to lift the spell. "I meant to lift that." He propped her into his lap and leaned his forehead to her temple, on the verge of either crying or killing someone. "I release you to sleep. Please, pet, feel no pain."

Nancy immediately fell unconscious, submitting herself to her wounds.

Within minutes, the lead healer rushed in, her gold robe sweeping the ground behind her. Red blood painted the white floor as she dropped down beside Nancy. "Who would do such a thing?" she whispered to herself, beginning to check Nancy's wounds.

Loki moved aside for the healer, allowing her to do her job. But, there were still too many people here. Guards looked on and other prisoners snickered at the misfortune of this single female detainee. His pet would want privacy. "Can she be moved?" he addressed the healer without taking his eyes from the unconscious girl beside her.

"It will have to be very carefully." The old woman looked up at her king with sorrow in her eyes. "Her ribs are broken and one of her lungs has collapsed. One wrong move could be fatal, if her injuries aren't already. Would you like the guards to carry her?"

Finally, something he could control. Though this attack had been beyond his grasp, he could give orders with the best of them. Loki stood and straightened in all his regality. He pointed to two guards who had not been on duty for Nancy's cell. Two he was certain could be trusted. "Assist the healer." He moved his finger to point menacingly at the other two. He had plans for them. "Do not move."

Slowly, carefully, the two guards lifted Nancy into their arms. The healer immediately shielded the whole bunch in a golden bubble – a healing shield. It would protect from future injuries and hopefully keep Nancy alive long enough to reach the healing rooms. "Quickly, boys. And gently."

Loki watched until she was out of sight. She would be safe with them, and much as he wished he could tag along they would work better without his constant hovering. He turned back to the guards, hands folded behind his back and chin held high. They would answer, in reasonable time. He would know who violated his most precious prize. "Who were the guards on duty last night?"

"Galt and Per, sir." the larger guard answered, "But they've gone missing. Blood spilled, signs of a fight, but no guards."

So irate was Loki that his words came out all too calm. All too sure and demanding. " _Find_ them. And when you do, bring them to me."


	45. Chapter 45

Galt struggled against his captors, his shackles rattling together as he walked. How they'd ever found him, he couldn't say. The traitors. Blindly following the self-proclaimed god of lies. Doing everything he asked, not bothering to protect one of their own. But not Galt. Never him. He would never bow to that rotten Jotun.

He glared at the usurper as he was dragged into the Throne Room. How dare that creature sit upon the sacred throne of Asgard? He was not worthy to sit where Bor and Odin had once ruled with a just hand and booming law. Why had Odin ever saved the pathetic whelp in the first place? The only good Jotun was a dead Jotun, and the true king should have slaughtered that ugly beast when he had the chance.

Loki looked down at the pathetic Asgardian who had the gall to treat a woman with such disrespect. He didn't even stand to recognize him. In his mind, this man was lower than the dogs. He briefly glanced up, searching for the guard's partner. None of the guards went on duty without a partner. No secondary guard stood in chains beside this one. An oversight if he ever saw one. He worked his jaw, back and forth. "And _where_ is the other?" Loki asked.

"Dead, your majesty." One of the guards stepped forward and looked to Galt with contempt. "This one says he killed him and threw him off the side of the mountain."

Loki acknowledged the faithful guard with a single nod. Then, he turned his searing gaze to Galt. The man had come to his attention before, but never like this. Minor infractions, a misdemeanor or two, and perhaps once or twice when he subverted orders. Never as a traitor and a scoundrel, to boot. Loki glowered, the fury simmering just below his calm exterior. "Do you have anything to say about the accusation brought against you?"

Galt grinned wickedly and took a step forward, challenging the would-be king. "Mortals are a lot more enjoyable than we give them credit for." He smiled easily and stood calm, basking in a job well done. "And it's always nice to have a fresh piece of meat."

Slowly, trying to retain some piece of his dignity and royal decorum, Loki stood and clenched his fists at his sides. How dare he speak of her in such a way? How dare he address her as a piece of meat! The value of life had been one thing repeatedly ingrained in every Asgardian from birth. What had the palace come to, to hire one as base as Galt? Loki leveled his gaze. "Choose your next answer carefully. Why did you disobey my orders?"

"Because I only obey the _king_." Galt spat. "Not some usurper."

"Why _her_?" He flexed and stretched his fingers. He could almost feel the coward's neck crushing beneath his chokehold. He could imagine the life draining from his face and the fear he would finally display. Loki sneered in contempt. This guard, though he didn't even deserve the title, would pay for everything he had done. In the most excruciating way Loki could possibly provide.

"Because she is _yours_." Galt grinned wider and gestured vaguely toward the Throne Room entrance. "Oh, come now. Does that _fat animal_ really mean so much to you? She's a mortal. Like flies, they are. Dead by dawn."

"Why kill Per, then? A fellow Asgardian." She wasn't fat, nor was she an animal. He used the word as a term of endearment, how had everyone misconstrued it? Loki chose to ignore the comment about his most cherished pet being a fat animal in favor of a more pressing matter. For now.

"He got in my way." Galt snorted. "I told the runt to move. He should have listened."

Loki made his way down the steps and to the floor. One foot in front of the other. Each boot step reverberated through the hall. With careful indignation, he approached the scoundrel. The piece of dirt who thought himself above others. Loki's green eyes blazed fire. "Surely you knew what your actions would bring upon you."

"I did." Galt gave another wicked smile and stepped as close as his chains would allow, easily closing the distance between them. "And I'd do it again, too. Just to hear her scream." His gruff voice rose an octave as he mocked Nancy's voice. "Loki! Loki! Master! Help!"

 _Liar_ , the voice in Loki's head hissed. He bared his teeth. She couldn't have screamed, not with the muzzle so tightly pressed around her mouth. This man only wanted to get beneath his skin. And it had worked. Not, however, to Galt's advantage. Loki looked sideways to one of the loyal guards. He would bear no more of this mockery. "Shut him up. _Now._ "

One of the guards produced a muzzle and moved toward Galt. He thrashed and strained, fighting the device, but soon it was clamped around his mouth. Galt looked to Loki, hatred burning in his eyes. He should've killed the pathetic female mortal when he had the chance. Hurt this unworthy king even further. He'd merely hoped the wench would die on her own. How wrong he was.

Loki regarded the man for a moment and mentally took stock of Nancy's injuries. Every broken bone and violated area. All the harm that Galt had caused. And he knew the perfect remedy. "Take this man and lay out his punishment _exactly_ as I instruct," he commanded the guards. The words hissed through his teeth like a snake before it bites. His anger blazed through his eyes and from every pore. Loki took a breath. And began. "First, pull his shoulder out of socket. Allow his screams to subside and the pain to register. Next, take his other arm and break it at the elbow joint. Then his legs, at the thigh bones. Take the heaviest metal beam you can find and break his left hip. Take the same beam and beat him with it until you are certain _all_ his ribs are broken. Then..." He allowed a look of disgust to contort his face. There was no hiding it. "...castrate him. And when his voice is hoarse from screaming and he begs for _my_ mercy, then—and only then—can you end his torment." Without a second thought, he waved a hand in dismissal. He was done with the offensive perpetrator. And he would never give him another second of his precious time.

As the guards dragged the brute out the Throne Room doors, a young healer stepped forward. Her mousy brown hair was swept back in braids and tied tightly at the back of her head. She was clad in the brightest of golds, the color of the healers. A bronze tablet was tucked neatly under one arm, holding her precious notes and calculations.

"Highness." her voice was soft and comforting, "Your mortal is awake. She cries for you."

Just like that, the anger fled. Relief flooded him. Despite all, she asked for him. Cried for him, the healer said. She did not hate him, then? Did not blame him for all that had happened. How could she not? He had put her there, and he had left her to that dog. Loki sighed. "Take me to her."

The healer curtsied once and immediately turned to lead Loki to the healing room. Hallway after hallway, the Throne Room felt miles away from their destination. The healer knew the horror that awaited her king. The grotesque scene of the mortal struggling for her life, her body collapsing around her. Finally, as they rounded a corner, nearing the room, a piercing scream of pure agony filled the hall.

"Loki! Master!" Another scream rang out. Nancy was in pure torment, now fully conscious and unable to rest, surrounded by strangers who were only hurting her more.

Loki rushed in at the sound of her agony and dropped to her side. He cradled her to himself and squeezed his eyes shut. He had done this to her, unknowingly. He could sense it still, the pain and the fear mingled. He could do little for the pain that the healers had not already tried. He doubted it would work, but perhaps he could distract her. "Tell me what you fear."

She couldn't understand his words. She didn't care. All Nancy could feel was the pain, multiplied exponentially by Loki's firm grasp on her. The shriek that left her newly-healed lungs was absolutely deafening. Her broken bones slid past one another under Loki's fingers.

"Sire, she's in unbearable pain!" the lead healer screamed over the sound of Nancy's cry, "She woke and will not rest! We gave her enough sleeping potion to fell a horse, but it does not work on her! She is under some sort of spell!"

Loki felt his heart break with the weight of his despair. He pressed her head to his shoulder in an effort to stop her pained shaking and closed his eyes. Was he destined to lose everyone he came to love? Had the fates so decided his desolate future? No. He would not allow it. He lowered his voice to the most pleasant, soothing tone he could possibly muster. "Sleep, love. Please sleep."

All at once, as abruptly as it had started, Nancy's scream died away. She fell unconscious against Loki's shoulder, completely numb and unconscious to the pain.

The healers worked on her for hours, straightening the bones and sealing them back together. Stopping the blood and patching any remaining wounds. One wound in particular was especially difficult to heal. A tear in the wall of one of her reproductive organs. An old wound, reopened by blunt-force trauma. The blood it spilled was great, but the healers did all they could to seal it closed. It would heal the rest of the way itself… in time.

A few hours after dark, Nancy was finally allowed to return to Loki's chambers. She was barely conscious and very weak, but alive.

Loki himself carried her to his chambers, through every dark hallway and past every guard. Loyal and almost certainly disloyal alike. He settled her on the bed, in his spot – he so liked the look of her there – and moved to the chaise. He knew he would not be able to sleep. Not with the knowledge that all that had happened was his fault. If only he hadn't been so stupid and selfish. Perhaps she would not have been harmed. He couldn't bear the idea of his own thoughts. So he kept watch.

* * *

/

* * *

Nancy whimpered and thrashed as flashes of the incident played through her mind. In her dream, she could only helplessly relive the event. With a gasp, she sat upright and stared into the dimly-lit darkness around her. She felt the soft silk of the sheets covering her. The velvet of the dress she now wore. The plush pillows behind her. Nancy knew where she was, but it was so dark, she couldn't see where Loki was.

"Master?" she whimpered, tears rising to her eyes. A sob escaped her throat. She couldn't hold back any longer. "Loki!"

Hearing her cries, Loki rose and settled by her side. He deftly reached to hold her close. She would need the comfort, he knew. She had once said that mortals needed physical touch. That it was comforting. He hoped he chose the right method to calm her.

Nancy turned and sobbed into his shoulder, clutching desperately at his tunic. Her body wracked with her sobs and trembled with her fear. "Never leave me again."

"Not if I can help it." Loki held her even closer and planted a kiss to her head. No. She would never leave his side again. He would watch her constantly and even create a shield around her no one could penetrate. If only she would stop crying.

"Did I do something wrong?" Nancy buried her face deeper into his shoulder, wishing she could just fade away. "He just... started hitting me. And then he muzzled me. And then he… he…" Another sob escaped. She couldn't say it.

"No, love, no." Needing to be closer, Loki pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. He would never let go. Never let anyone hurt her again. He couldn't bear the thought. "It was not you, but rather his black heart. You will never see him again."

"Did you kill him?" The words came out soft and cold, a darkness behind them she'd never felt before.

Loki paused. How did he answer a question with so much emotion displayed in her voice? Had this, too, destroyed her further than he ever intended? He certainly hoped not. He couldn't bear the added weight to his already guilty conscience. "Do you wish him dead?"

"Yes."

"Then you should know as your attacker and a traitor to the crown, he will be dead before the week is out." If not sooner. His instructions could not have been misconstrued and Galt would not escape with the amount of guards he had set in place to watch over the proceedings.

"He should suffer for what he did."

"He suffers as we speak." Just thinking of the man – no, worm – made Loki set his jaw firmly to keep from lashing out. He had given the orders. He must put the man from his mind. Permanently.

Seeking relief from the darkness of her thoughts, Nancy snuggled closer to her beloved. "Are you going to send me back down there?"

"No. I was coming for you when I received the news of your attack. You will not return there." Ever. She would never see the dungeons again under any circumstances, and he would never allow her imprisonment. He had been wrong to think it in the first place; he saw that now.

"Then you'll let me stay here?" She nuzzled her head under his chin, only seeking his closeness. "I don't want to be away from you."

"You will stay here. And, if I must leave, I will arrange for my most trusted warriors to stand guard." Hesitantly, he paused. It was not necessarily wise to tell her this next part, but he could not stop the words from falling from his lips. "There are games afoot, pet, and much as I detest it, I may have need to leave once or twice a day."

She nodded slowly. Of course he would need to leave. He was king. He had duties to tend to. But she still had him. In this moment, he was hers. And she would never leave his side again.

Nancy turned fully and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him. It was all she could do to thank him for his kindness. She let her head rest against his shoulder, planting a soft kiss on his neck as she did so. She never wanted to be away from him again. All she wanted was to remain like this forever.

Loki simply held her like that, enjoying the feeling of her close to him, knowing that she would require time to heal. Much time. More time than he would like. But, for her sake, he would allow her that time. He would not hurt her as Galt had, and he would leave the terms of their relationship up to her. If she never wished to speak to him again, he would understand.

There was knock on the door.

Nancy nearly jolted out of her skin. She screamed and clung to Loki, as if a monster was at the doors.

"Shh. Shh. I will not allow anyone to hurt you." He cleared his throat to better project his voice toward the door. "If it is not a matter of life and death, for Valhalla's sake go away."

A guard's voice came sailing back at him. "A matter of treason, majesty."

Of course it was. Now that she needed him, they would call on him as their sovereign. Fate certainly had a strange way of dealing with him. Though, perhaps he had brought it on himself. Loki growled. "Summon them." He lowered his voice and spoke mostly into Nancy's ear. Promises he intended to keep. "I must tend to this. No longer than an hour, I swear it."

Nancy looked up at him, her eyes wide with fear. He was leaving her again. So soon. "Seal the room, please. Lock it with one of your spells." Tears formed and threatened to spill over. She couldn't take the chance one of the guards would be disloyal. " _Please_ , master."

"I made you a promise, did I not?" Loki leaned his head down to whisper against her hair, letting his promises sink in. "My best warriors. And a spell to seal the doors if you wish."

Nancy nodded her understanding and slowly released him. "Hurry back." she whispered.

Reluctantly, Loki moved her off his lap to settle her on the bed. She was terrified, and rightfully so. He would not leave her like this. Not for any longer than he absolutely had to. He must settle her nerves before he attended business. Yes, he had ordered traitors be brought to him as they were found, most in conjunction with Galt's treacherous acts. He never intended for it to so interrupt the comfort he desperately needed to give her. He stood, careful not to jostle her too much.

A soft knock sounded on the door.

Loki sighed. It was now or never. "Enter."

The door opened silently, to reveal the warriors with their fists over their hearts. His chambers were not a foreign sight to any of them. No, they had all come to thrash him here at some point or another. One by one, they looked up. A blonde man with a twinkle in his eyes, a man with a ridiculous beard, and a woman with hair as black as night.

The same heavy sigh escaped Loki's lips and he nodded once, signaling them to relax a bit. "Sif will remain inside. Fandral, Volstagg, keep guard without. No one approaches except me. No one." He strode through the doors and sealed them behind him, leaving Sif behind. With one glance, green shimmered around the edges, providing proof to his pet that he had indeed kept his promise to seal the doors with magic. He hated to leave her, but it could not be helped. Not this time.


	46. Chapter 46

Nancy frowned as she watched the door shimmer green. He'd left her alone once again. When she needed him most, he left her. Not that it was his fault. He was king and needed to help his people. She understood that. But that never meant she had to like it. Nancy curled up on the bed and pulled the sheets tighter around her, feeling uncomfortable around these new people. These 'warriors'. A 'warrior' had hurt her. Why would these three be any different?

She glanced to the dark haired woman. The warrior sent to protect her. She looked so familiar. Where had she seen her before? All at once, Nancy remembered. New Mexico! This woman was Sif, one of Thor's friends!

"I remember you." Nancy moved closer, studying the woman in the light of a dim candle, "You fought alongside Thor in New Mexico, against the Destroyer."

"Yes." Sif settled properly onto the edge of a chair, her posture perfect. She was ever alert, always looking for any signs of something amiss.

"I was there, too." Nancy mumbled, glancing away. How awful, to have one so strong and brave before her, yet all she was herself was a pet. Nothing even resembling the warrior she once was.

She looked to Sif and watched her, noting her stiff posture and professional demeanor. This was only another mission to her. Another assignment. Get in, complete the task, get out. No matter the planet or realm, every mission was the same. Get in, complete the task, get out. Mindless obedience.

And yet she herself used to be one of those mindless soldiers. The government's lap dog. She did whatever S.H.I.E.L.D. told her whenever they told her.

Nancy looked to Sif again. "You look like a very brave warrior." And, of course, she did. Polished armor, strong confidence, lean body. She looked every bit a strong, brave warrior.

"Some have told me I am." She glanced around the familiar room, readjusting to everything she had ever wanted to forget. When her eyes landed on the woman on the bed, she gave a small smile. "One must be to endure..." a nod to the door. "... _his_ mischief."

Nancy paled. Sif and Loki obviously had a past. She could hear it in the way Sif spoke. The emphasis on the pronoun. It was almost playful… reminiscent. Nancy could hear the memories behind the words. The affection. "Oh." she paused, "Are you another of his women?"

Sif coughed to cover her very obvious laugh, which made it sound more as if she was choking. She placed a hand to her chest. No one had asked her that. Ever. "No. I am not."

"Oh, good." Nancy sighed with relief. At least she wouldn't have to compete with Sif. But… a new thought dawned on her. This woman would have all the answers she'd ever sought. Answers to questions she would've never had the courage to ask Loki himself.

"What was Loki's last human like?" Surely, in all his thousands of years of life, he would've had at least one other human before herself. Possibly many. Maybe he just made a habit out of picking up women and keeping them until he became bored or they expired. "Did she…" Nancy swallowed. "Did she die? Or did he get rid of her?"

"He..." Sif finally studied her with an utterly bewildered look on her face. What had he done to her? What lies had he led her to believe? "You do not know?"

Nancy shook her head, confused. "I only want to know which number I am." She looked down and spoke quietly, almost to herself. "How much he really cares." She looked to Sif again. "Am I his sixth or six-hundredth?"

"Loki has never... never had a pet mortal. You are the first he has deigned to consider his." She shook her head slowly, obviously stunned that this mortal knew so little. How could she think a pet mortal on Asgard was normal? Then again, this was Loki they spoke of.

Nancy shrugged and looked down at her wrists, still bruised from the bindings. Her right wrist remained scarred from the shocks from the bracelet. "I guess he was tired of playing with snakes." She looked to the washroom door, remembering how he'd put her there when he was tired of her. How easily he could lock her away. "He treats me well, though… unless I misbehave." Nancy looked to Sif again, trying to explain herself. "I mean, I don't _want_ to misbehave. I don't do it intentionally. But sometimes… things just happen. I have rotten luck, is all. But he thinks I'm doing it all intentionally. That I _want_ to be a bad pet. But I don't. I've never _wanted_ to be a bad pet. It just… happens." She rubbed her scarred wrist nervously. "But he does treat me well. Usually. If I behave."

"Yes. I am sure he does." Sif shifted position uncomfortably.

"You know, I was a warrior, too… once." Nancy rushed her words, trying to dispel the awkward tension in the air, only to drop off in silence. She'd choose now to bring up her past? To reveal who she once was, in comparison to who she'd become? But there was no going back now. She'd started it. She'd have to continue. "Have you ever heard of S.H.I.E.L.D.? We were there… in New Mexico."

"Yes. I have worked extensively with Agent Phillip, son of Coul." She nodded reassuringly, sure to add a smile to put the girl at ease. At least they had a common acquaintance to break the ice between them.

"He was my friend..." Nancy trailed off and stared into the distance. What would Coulson think of her now? She'd turned traitor. Fell in love with the man who'd killed him. Or, rather… _supposedly_ killed him. He'd probably shun her, as the others did. As everyone did.

Nancy curled her knees tighter to her chest. The memories of Coulson brought with them memories of her other friends. A happier time, when the world made more sense. When things were black and white and steady. When every holiday brought her family together. When every mission drew her closer to her team. "I suppose I won't ever see any of my friends again." she stated with a hopeless sigh, her eyes still vacant. "I won't… ever see _any_ of them again. My family. My friends. My team. I'll never see them again."

Sif sighed. That hadn't worked. She looked to the floor, more uncomfortable now than before. "I suppose not."

Tears poured down Nancy's cheeks, but she hardly felt them. She only stared ahead, as if she could see into some unknown realm. Some world where life was good and happy and at peace. Where her mistakes hadn't brought her to this. Where everything was as it should be.

Suddenly, a broken laugh pierced the air. Nancy gripped at her hair and laughed bitterly, through her tears. "Don't you see?" She spoke to the wall, no longer acknowledging Sif's presence. "Don't you see what he's done? I'm not like him. I'll never be like him! Why would I even try?!" Her sobs and laugh mingled together, creating a violent discord. As quickly as it all started, Nancy fell silent again. She looked to Sif, her eyes cold and unseeing. "Don't you see the irony? Don't you see what he's done? All this protection for a _dog_."

"I assure you, he thinks much more highly of you than that. Besides, Loki doesn't even like dogs. And he never shows his true feelings, not even to Thor." Loki never revealed his true feelings on anything. In fact, she still didn't know why he had turned her golden locks black. She had never gotten the full story from him, though she had long ago decided it went beyond his usual mischief.

"But don't you see, Sif?" Nancy was on the verge of hysteria. She leaned close, as if her proximity would make Sif understand. "Look at me! He made me into a pet! I'm an animal! A dog! No wonder that man did what he did. He kept calling me a fat animal. A pig! And I am. A little pig in a dress, with jewels!"

"Now I _know_ Loki would never condone that." Sif shot to her feet, enraged. Even she was stunned at her reaction to this news. Was she... defending Loki? "Even if you do not believe me, I tell you he cares for you deeply. I would not be here otherwise."

Nancy blinked at her, startled by her reaction. She lay back and frowned at her. "Fine. Whatever you say." Her eyes moved to the door again, as vacant as ever. She watched for her master to return. He was the only one who truly understood.

Sif didn't back down, or sit, but she calmed a bit. Returning more to her normal, stoic self. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but the doors flew open at that exact instant. Sif spun, a knife suddenly in her hand and wielded to attack.

Loki laughed and put his hands up in surrender. Leave it to Sif the lady warrior to threaten to stab him. Again. Had they not understood the purpose of the spell on the doors? He could keep anyone out that he deigned unfit to enter, and only he could break it. Had they thought someone else would come through the door?

The instant Loki barged in, Nancy was off the bed and cowering behind Sif, using the smaller woman as a shield. When she heard Loki's laugh, she peeked out at him. "That _wasn't_ funny." She emerged fully. "Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack? After everything I've already been through!"

"No, no. I thought you understood no one could enter but me." He offered a soft smile to Nancy before he turned and studied Sif, who looked irate. He had seen the look many times before she attacked him, so he prepared for something of the sort now.

Sif grabbed his ear in one hand.

With lightning quick reflexes, Loki grabbed her wrist and held fast. Ever since Frigga's death, Sif had taken it on herself to keep him in line. If she grabbed his ear one more time, they would spar. And he would win, as he did every time. He raised an eyebrow, challenging her posture and attitude.

She snarled and yanked her hand away, out of his grip. "A minute?"

Loki sighed. He had heard that tone before, too. He glanced to his mortal. "I will return in sixty seconds, pet."

He and Sif stepped outside the door, and she pulled them shut behind them. The next sixty seconds Sif spent threatening his life and demanding he let the mortal know how much he cared for her, because she obviously couldn't see it. All this, she yelled in the quietness of a whisper. Her frantic gestures amused him, but Loki didn't move a muscle. He would allow her this one pleasure. This one long rant.

"...and how could you let her sit there and believe you such a monster? You, yourself, often enough chastise the use of the word. Why then have you spent so long proving to her that you are the monster you claim not to be? Why would you..." Loki tried to ignore the rest of her words, but they permeated deeply anyway.

Nancy, meanwhile, perched uneasily on the edge of the chaise. Her master had returned. He would surely want the bed to himself now.

She glanced down at the floor, her tears drying on her cheeks. Everything she spoke of still swirled around in her mind, one crashing into another. Who was she now? Would he even _want_ her now? He had yet to tell her his plan for her. He could just as easily send her away or have her executed as keep her. What reason did he have to keep his _disobedient_ pet? He had another woman now. And now… she was _tainted_. Surely Loki wouldn't want her now.

When Sif had finished her tirade, Loki easily dismissed all the warriors with a single nod and returned inside to his pet. After all that yelling, Sif really hadn't convinced him to say or do anything, but she seemed to feel better. He stopped when he saw the look of utter bewilderment on Nancy's face. It concerned him more than he liked to admit. "Did Sif upset you?"

"No." Nancy's voice came out too quiet and a bit hoarse from her tears. "Sif was kind. I'm just... still trying to deal with everything."

He nodded and continued across the room to settle onto the bed. Without really thinking about it, he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes and rubbed. He was so tired. Exhausted, really, from all that had gone on. With relief came sorrow and happiness and much, much tiredness. Loki stifled a yawn and rubbed at his eyes again. All he wanted was sleep, for once in his life.

Nancy looked him over. How mortal he suddenly seemed, tired and exhausted from the events of the day. Her own body could relate. Exhausted and weak. But she'd never seen Loki this tired before. Not in all the days he'd returned from working. Or even after the feasts he was forced to attend. He'd never looked so… defeated.

"You should get some sleep." Nancy whispered, forcing a tired smile, "I bet you have a lot to deal with yourself."

He nodded at her. He hadn't meant to let it show. He supposed the eye rubbing and yawning would have tipped her off. He would have to do something about that. "I will. In a bit." He pulled his boots off and sent them sailing across the room, then quietly reclined against the headboard. He would just sit for a bit, with nothing to do. It would help. Eventually.

Slowly, Nancy stood and made her way toward him. She stopped and folded her hands neatly in front of her as she reached the side of his bed. "Master?" she waited until he looked at her. "May I join you?"

Loki furrowed his brow. "Do you feel well enough?" He was quite frankly surprised she had let him touch her earlier. Surely she would not let him touch her now, not after what she had been through.

Nancy bit her bottom lip, considering his question. If he was any other person, she would have slinked away. But he was Loki, her beloved and master. Her best friend. She didn't want to be anywhere else than in his arms. "Yes. I think so."

"If you are sure you feel up to it..." He shifted his position to leave more room for her to curl up beside him. He liked the feeling of her beside him, but he wouldn't stand for night terrors. If his closeness threw her over the edge, he would bodily remove himself before he let her be afraid.

As slowly and carefully as she could, Nancy crawled onto the bed. A dull pain, worsened by the movement, began in her side, forcing her to wrap an arm around herself in an attempt to control it. As if her holding her torso could somehow keep her wounds from aching. Finally, with a soft groan of pain, Nancy settled into the pillows next to him. She leaned against his shoulder, more for support than comfort. A forced smile graced her lips, her vain attempt to let him know she really was okay. She had to be okay. She must be.

She was in pain, he could tell. Despite what the healers had done to alleviate it, the bruises still remained. The obstinate women would only work their magical wonders on an immortal, and would have probably discarded Nancy altogether if she hadn't belonged to the king. And now, she sat here, trying to smile, but he could tell she was hurting. "Might I hold you as I have been?"

"Yes. I'd like that." Nancy moved a bit closer and nuzzled under his chin. His strong body next to hers brought her more comfort than she could have imagined. She knew she was safe in his arms. No matter what he'd done to her in the past, he would never do it now. Nancy knew that for a fact.

"No matter how much torture training you go through," she began, her voice a cold whisper, "It never prepares you for the real thing." What he'd done to her was nothing compared to what that guard had done. She was strong enough to survive floggings and starvation, but _this_ … this was too much. She twined her fingers with Loki's, drawing him closer.

The tone she spoke in, the hurt whisper, let Loki know she did not mean what he had put her through. Rather, she meant the attack she had sustained. He tried not to tense at the thought of it, but he still involuntarily wrapped an arm around her to cradle her to him. He never should have left her alone. He should have been there, looked out for her.

"Well." Nancy's voice broke as she fought another bout of tears. She _would_ _not_ cry. She cleared her throat to regain her composure. "Did you ever get your thoughts sorted?" Anything to change the subject. To save her from her thoughts.

"I have." He would play along, despite how fatigued he felt. She needed his attention more than he needed to sleep. And they both needed to put their minds at ease. To know how this would play out. He had an answer for her, but she had yet to ask exactly what it was. He didn't wish to seem to eager to tell her. Even if he was.

"And what have you decided?" Nancy looked up at him, studying his eyes. His sincerity. Would he still have her, even after everything that had happened? No. Probably not. She never should've said anything. If she had ruined their relationship… if he planned to send her away… Her heart broke. She couldn't live without him. She just couldn't. "I'm sorry if I offended you with what I said. I shouldn't have said anything."

"I took no offense." He smiled wanly and tried not to close his eyes. If he closed them, he would drift to sleep. Preferably with her peacefully tucked beside him. He needed to know she was safe and on her way to recovery. "And if you don't mind, I would rather reveal my thoughts at a steady pace."

Nancy gave a short breath, somewhere between a sigh and a gasp. What did he think of her? Was it so bad he couldn't even speak of it?

"But you're going to keep me?" If he kept her only to shine his boots, she would be happy. There was no way she could go back to Earth now. Not after everything that had happened. Everything they'd been through together.

"Of course I'm going to keep you!" This woman! When would she ever learn her worth? He bent to kiss her head, slow and reverent. "Why would I not?"

Nancy half-shrugged, then winced from the motion. "I'm just not the 'keepable' type."

"Whoever told you that?" _I'll have them flogged,_ he mentally added.

"Everyone, I guess." She looked down at their twined fingers and studied their hands. It was a loving, familiar gesture. A physical symbol of their closeness. "I only got into S.H.I.E.L.D. because no one else would take me." Nancy finally answered after a moment, her voice quiet. "And even then I was just a linguist. Some people don't even consider it a real science. We don't even get our own department. Just a back hallway in one of the S.H.I.E.L.D science buildings." She gave a short, humorless laugh. "I bet my own team with the FBI has given up looking for me. I'm just one of those 'disposables'."

"Look at me, love." He paused, waiting for her to obey before he continued. She would need to see the sincerity in his eyes. And, surprisingly, Loki found every word he spoke to her was indeed sincere. "All the coworkers who have taken you for granted, all the men who have shunned you socially, they are all fools. You are not disposable, and I will keep you until there is no breath left in my body."

No one had ever said something so kind to her. Something so loving. She could see it in his eyes. Hear it in his words. He loved her. Perhaps not as a lover or partner… but the feeling was still there. The reverence.

Nancy turned fully and wrapped her arms around him, touched by his words. She had never felt this way with anyone else. No one else had ever made her feel so safe, secure, and completely _wanted_.

She buried her face in the side of his neck and let her lips brush against his skin. Her words flowed of their own accord, hardly more than a breathless whisper. "I love you."

Loki returned the embrace, wrapping his arms gently around her. If it was up to him, he would hold her forever. Just like this. Well, maybe not _just_ like this, but for now it would have to do. Until she was well. Until she realized her worth. Until she was his unabashedly and forever. Until then, he would hold her. And he would savor every second she was in his arms.


	47. Chapter 47

Days passed, slow and tedious. Loki continued to have trouble letting his mortal out of his sight. Someone had hurt her when he had looked away. He would do anything to keep it from happening again. Anything at all. He needed her to know how he felt about her, and plans had been laid, but convincing her to join him may be a difficult task, indeed. Sadly, he knew how she hated feasts. It would take much coaxing to convince her to attend.

Loki leaned back against the headboard and sighed melodramatically to get her attention.

Nancy glanced up from her position on the chaise. She'd been blissfully caught up in scratching Calder under his chin, allowing the creature to momentarily distract her from her thoughts. The cat had quickly become one of Nancy's best friends, being her one comfort in the loneliness. She picked him up and held him close, listening to his calming purr. "Something bothering you?" she directed toward Loki. He was so dramatic. He wouldn't sigh like that for nothing.

A smile graced Loki's lips at her typical witty answer. As usual, she saw through his facade to tell he had ulterior motives to the gesture. He tossed his hands up in defeat. "A feast. I am afraid I cannot decline." Loki smiled at her, his eyes coaxing and his hands inviting. "Come with me? I am remiss to leave you alone."

She carefully sat up, minding her wounds, and moved the cat off to the side. "Another feast? With all those people staring?" Nancy vividly remembered her last feast. The nobleman who'd called her a 'that'. The little girl who couldn't understand how a human could be a pet. Everyone judging her with their pompous opinions. "After what I just went through? No." Nancy scooped Calder into her arms again and pretended to be more preoccupied. "I'm sorry, master, but I won't. _I won't_."

Loki jumped from the bed to kneel beside her chair. He rested his hands by her side, looking up at her with wide eyes and an honest expression. It was easy to ask the question, because he meant every word he said, even if the purpose wasn't quite what she thought it was. "Please, love? I cannot bear to be away from you."

Nancy glanced down at him, noting his expression. She looked to Calder, noting his wide, green eyes. She almost laughed. Perhaps they were alike after all. Nancy looked to Loki again and gave an irritated sigh. "Fine. But only because I know how much you hate them. We can sit there, hating them together." She carefully lay back again, making a kissy-face at her little black pet. "When is it?"

Loki took her fingers in his hand and kissed them, ignoring her last question with easy determination. She wouldn't like the answer, so it was better she come to the conclusion herself. If she did, she was less likely to blow up in his face. He didn't wish to go through that at that particular moment. "I greatly appreciate it. Your gown is in the washroom. I shan't even look if you do not wish it."

He always did this to her. Dropped things on her at the very last moment. "It's tonight, isn't it?" she asked, her voice flat.

Loki smiled wryly. She was too smart for her own good. He had thought perhaps it would take her a little longer to put two and two together. He should have known he would have no such luck. "Unfortunately."

Nancy sat up fully and finally gave Loki her full attention. "You know I'm having trouble moving." She blushed a bit, reluctant to admit her vulnerability. "I can't lift my arms over my head. This might get… awkward."

He smirked at her, fully aware she knew what he thought of that. He couldn't help his mischievous side as he purred one sentence in her direction. "Would you prefer my help?"

Yes. She would. But she couldn't have him seeing her wounds. It was bad enough he'd seen them the first time. Why he didn't reject her completely, she didn't know. Any other man would have. Any other _royal_ would have. She couldn't understand why he kept her… her being _tainted_ and all.

Nancy glanced away, ashamed. "No. I don't want you seeing what happened to me."

"Then you will manage?" Loki's mischief dissipated with her words. He should have known better than to offer. She wouldn't have him near her, not when she had been hurt. Like a pup that had injured itself, she would not let him touch what hurt. He placed a hand on hers, silently questioning her fortitude and determination to do all herself.

She glanced down to his hand and moved her fingers to wrap around his. "If I need you, I'll call for you." she promised.

Slowly, Nancy tried to stand. As her muscles stretched and strained over her body, Nancy groaned with pain. She wrapped both arms around her torso, feeling as if her whole body would simply fall apart if she didn't hold it all together.

"On second thought," she cast a pained glance to Loki and whimpered, "I think I could use some help."

"I would be honored." Loki stood to his feet and reached out a hand to steady her. Too quickly, he realized after he had done it. Surely she would assume him eager, or some such nonsense, when in reality he simply didn't want her to injure herself further. Too many bruises meant too much pain, to begin with. He wouldn't stand for any more harm done to her, even if the harm came from herself.

He moved so quickly. Too quickly. "Are we in a hurry now?" Nancy groaned, trying to stand to her full height. The effort caused her more pain than she would've liked, so she wrapped her arms farther around herself.

Loki chuckled nervously. He wasn't used to being found out. Most took him at face value, despite the fact they knew him to be a compulsive liar. "No. No." He rubbed at his forehead. How did he explain his anxiety to her? Would she believe him if he said he still feared for her safety? No, most likely not. He sighed. "We are not. I only fear you will change your mind again."

Losing her strength, Nancy leaned against Loki for support. "I might." she mumbled, then spoke louder. "I'm only letting you see me because I need help. Otherwise, please don't touch."

"I would not. Not this soon after what... _he_ did." With an ease and gentleness he hadn't known he possessed, Loki wrapped an arm around her and lifted, supporting her weight with his arm. He swore she weighed little, if anything. Perhaps he should reconsider the apple idea and replace some of them with meat.

Nancy closed her eyes as the memories burned through her mind like an angry fire. Blood and pain and horror. She swallowed thickly and forced herself to move. To bury the thoughts and strive past them, as a good agent should. Upon opening her eyes, she found herself in Loki's room again, his arm around her. She welcomed the protection he gave her, the safety she felt. He would never let anyone hurt her again. The first time, he hadn't known what would happen. Neither of them did. But now… now she had to play her role. She had to dress and sit pretty and perform her role as the king's _most cherished_ pet. With all its pomp and feigned splendor.

"I hate these feasts." Nancy grumbled between clinched teeth as she limped toward the washroom, "They're just circuses."

"If I can endure them for so many years, surely you can endure one night." Loki kept his arm around her on their way to the washroom. For a moment, he doubted she would make it, but he knew she would not give up. She was strong, and she liked to prove him wrong.

Nancy stopped for a moment and looked him square in the eyes. She needed him to know why she would put herself through this crazy charade. She wouldn't do it for any other person. "For you I can."

Finally, as they reached the washroom, Nancy collapsed down into a cushioned stool just inside the door. She panted softly from her effort, her ribs throbbing with every breath. Once she regained some composure, she glanced to the dress hanging from the door. Long, shining green silk hung in waves. "It's beautiful," she whispered, smiling at her beloved. Her smile soon grew into a teasing grin. "What's with you and green? There _are_ other colors."

"But green is _my_ color." Loki smiled and kissed her head. After all this time, did she not yet understand that he put green on her to claim her? He only wanted others to know. He wished her to know, that she was and forever would be his. Regardless of injury or attitude. "As you are mine, I wish the world to know it."

Nancy blushed slightly. After everything that had happened to her, he still claimed her as his. He wanted to show her off to all the world. It was quite the honor.

Slowly, wincing with every movement, Nancy began trying to pull her current dress over her head. Just as her arms reached her upper torso, pain exploded across her ribcage, causing her to cry out and wrap her arms around herself again.

Loki reached out for her, gently prying her fingers from the fabric. She would only hurt herself if she tried to lift. She shouldn't move the bruises too much, allow them time to heal. The purples and blues and blacks spread across her skin like spiderwebs and curled into each other like smoke. He could only imagine the pain it brought her, though he had a good inkling, having been in a similar situation himself. He sighed resignedly, there was nothing more he could do for her but what he had already offered. Deftly, gently, he slid the fabric up and over her immobile limbs, cautious not to hurt her any further.

Nancy winced from the slight movement and quickly covered herself. Not that he hadn't already seen her before. But that was different. She couldn't help that. This time, she felt exposed and vulnerable. Already broken and injured, she didn't think she could handle any ridicule for how awful her body looked.

Frowning, she looked down at her body. Covered in blacks and blues, the pale white of her skin was nearly gone, replaced with darkness and pain. "Horrible, isn't it?" she whispered.

"I have seen worse things." Loki stopped his own wince, his own memories. How had he ever thought showing her what he went through would be a good idea?

"I bet you never thought the first time you'd see me without a dress on would be like this." Nancy retorted, reaching for the new gown. As the fabric slipped between her fingers, she stopped and glanced away. "I didn't want _this_ to be how you first saw my body."

"No. But I must say I don't particularly dread the sight." A smile returned to Loki's face as he watched her attempt to cover herself. The bruises saddened him, but her form before him brought him immense pleasure. He would not touch her, but he wanted to. So badly.

Nancy looked up at him, finally making eye-contact with him again. "I wanted to look better for you. My absolute best. Not like this." She held the fabric tighter against herself, as if the pressure of it would help hide her.

"Love, it is not as if I will never see all of you. The true you inside your insecurity." Loki stretched one finger to tap at the gown she tried to hide behind. Not hard enough to move it, but enough to show her he saw what she attempted to do. Hide. She should know by now she couldn't hide from him. He knew her too well.

Nancy blushed intensely, suddenly even more self-conscious. "I'm not… I mean, I'm really not…" she fumbled for words, then fell silent. Finally, looking away, she managed to whisper, "I can finish getting dressed by myself."

Loki's smile fell. Of course she would push him away, now when she felt most vulnerable. Was that not what all wounded creatures did, even himself? He should not be surprised that she wished him to go, but something tugged at his heart and demanded he ensure she meant the words. After all, he hadn't seen her devotion before, why would he see her need now? "You are quite sure?"

No. She desperately wanted him to stay. But not when he saw through her so clearly. Not when he was going to point out her flaws. She was already damaged. She didn't need him dredging up her self-consciousness and drawing it out into the light of day. Stiffly, Nancy nodded. "Yes. Please." Her words remained a whisper, yet lacked any real force, betraying her uncertainty.

She wasn't entirely sure. He could tell by her hesitance. Yet... he owed her the respect it took to believe her words. After all she had been through, he owed her at least that much. With a stiff bow, Loki examined her once more, studying her eyes most of all. Her emotions always played out in her eyes. He turned to retreat before he convinced himself to stay. She deserved privacy. She deserved her independence in any way she could get it.

As tears rose to her eyes, Nancy slowly lifted her arms to pull her dress over her head. The higher she lifted, the more her muscles pulled against her ribs. But she was strong. An agent. She could handle the pain. Just a bit more. Just a bit higher. A sudden, shooting pain broke forth, spreading across her chest like wildfire. Nancy cried out and dropped her arms, letting the dress slip to the floor. She grabbed at her sides again, her tears finally flowing.

Loki heard her cry, could almost hear tears if he listened hard enough. Every bone in his body screamed for him to return to her, to take her in his arms and do everything for her, but she would never accept it. She wanted to do it herself, so he would let her attempt it, even if she failed. With a thick swallow, Loki turned sideways and began to pace the room.

She could do this. She had to prove to herself she could do this. With a trembling hand, Nancy reached out for her dress. As she moved again, pain seared into her. "Master!" she cried out, the pain unbearable. "I _do_ need help. Please." A sob choked in her throat.

Loki sighed, relieved. Restraining himself had never worked before, and he had been on the precipice of giving in that time. Blast it all, if he didn't help her he might explode. She could yell if she wanted. He stepped back through the door and stooped beside her. "I did try to warn you."

"Do you really have to gloat?" Nancy leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing. If she could calm herself, the pain would subside. All she had to do was breathe. "Have I mentioned I hate feasts?" she grumbled.

"Yes. I think we established that neither of us particularly enjoys them." Why did she always have to ruin the mood? Could she never just go with him on anything? Perhaps obstinacy was in her blood. Perhaps she couldn't help it. He snatched the dress from her hands and stood to his feet, a little superior, but she had wounded his pride. "Come now, stand. Let us attempt decorum."

"Attempt." Bracing herself for the pain the movement would bring her, Nancy slowly stood to her feet. Another tear fell as she looked up at him, no longer bothering with trying to cover herself. "How do you expect me to _kneel_ in this condition? I can hardly move! And, master, I _really_ don't think I can sit on the floor."

"Do not question the future, pet." There she went again, ruining everything. She didn't have to know everything, even if she acted like it. He frowned. Why did she insist on ruining surprises? It made his life so much more difficult. Another sigh escaped his lips, frustrated this time, as he bunched the dress and helped her into it, one limb at a time, careful not to push on bruises. "You _ruin_ acts of kindness when you do that."

Nancy frowned. He was right. Here he was, going out of his way to be nice to her, and all she'd done was complain. "You're right. I'm sorry." With a light smile, Nancy stepped forward and gave him a soft, lingering kiss. "Does that make up for it?" she whispered against his lips.

"Mm. It will do."

A soft voice cleared her throat. Loki turned to see the ladies' maid he had ordered. One of Frigga's maids, and a trusted friend. He nodded to her, then turned to Nancy, waiting for her reaction as he simply said, "for your hair."

"Great. Thanks. I'll need the help." Nancy turned to look at her reflection in the mirror. The dress was beautiful, but her hair was an absolute mess. It was then that realization hit. She'd had a ladies' maid. A woman assigned to her to help her with dressing and brushing and bathing. "Wait a second!" Nancy turned around and glared daggers at Loki. "Where was she when I needed help with my dress?"

Loki's smile returned, mischievous as ever. So he had twisted the truth a little to get his way. It didn't matter at this juncture. The past was past and he had said and done what needed to be said and done. He met her gaze with a boyish grin. "Yes, come to think of it I shall have to berate her for her tardiness." He slipped from the room before she could attempt to yell or hit him.

Nancy growled softly as she reached for the cushioned stool and placed it in front of the mirror. "That man is insufferable." she grumbled to the maid.

"I heard that!" Came Loki's voice from the bedroom. "But as you are injured I will overlook it."

Of course he had. Nancy winced and called out, "Sorry, master." The strain of yelling caused another pain to creep across her ribs. She winced again and slowly sat down. "I'd like to leave my hair down," she whispered to the maid, ensuring Loki couldn't hear her this time, "But do something nice with it, too. Tonight, I want him to see me as a person, not a pet."

The maid nodded and brushed at the hair. Her fingers worked quickly, tucking and braiding into an intricate style to hold back the front of Nancy's hair. The braids shone and the twists fairly glowed with the handiwork of a woman who had done this a thousand times.

Nancy smiled at her reflection. Her hair looked amazing. She should've hired a maid to do her hair years ago. "It looks fantastic! Thanks!" Slowly, careful not to cause too much pain, Nancy stood and turned for the bedroom. She stood tall and confident for the first time in a very long while. "How do I look?" her voice was soft, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Loki turned at the sound of her voice, verging on happiness for once in a long while. He took his time studying her, the long green gown gathering in satin pools around her feet. The eyes that fairly shone with the knowledge she looked beautiful. The hair that gleamed gold and red in the lamplight and crowned her head much like his mother's once had hers. "Exquisite," he breathed, before catching his exposure of sentiment and turning for the door. She mustn't suspect. He cleared his throat quietly and put on his most princely airs. "Come. We do not want to arrive late."

Nancy allowed a smirk to cross her features before she followed at his side. As they walked, she subtly slipped her hand into his, more for her own comfort than as a display of their newfound closeness. All those people. Even though she knew she looked beautiful, just below the covering of her gown, the bruises still spread across her body. Surely, by now, the whole palace knew of her ordeal. And now here she was, on display once again for them all to criticize.

"Please don't look so morose." Loki glanced to her continuously as he neared the door. He could have told her, he supposed, but he liked surprising her. For once, in a good way. "I rather like your patronizing face better than morose."

She tried to smile. She really did. "Fine. I'll smile. But only because everyone will be staring." With a deep breath to calm her frazzled nerves, Nancy released Loki's hand and took two steps back. She had no idea how she'd be able to kneel to him, but she would. And she'd do it with pride and grace. All for him. He was the only one who mattered.

Loki caught her movement from the corner of his eyes. This time, her obedience didn't settle right with him. Not after what she had endured for his sake. He gently reached back and wrapped his fingers around her bruised wrist. No, he wouldn't allow her to enter like an animal. He would never make her feel below him again.

"Tonight..." Loki lifted her wrist to nestle her arm around his, delighting in the soft flesh over his armor. He resisted the urge to place a soft kiss to her forehead. "Tonight we give them reason to stare." The banquet hall doors swung open.

No onlookers stared. No nobles scoffed. The room was empty, save a single, long banquet table in the center. Foods overflowed in dramatic fashion, meats and fruits and cheeses. Everything he had observed that his mortal loved to devour. Everything he had denied her for so long in his own vain attempt to find understanding in another. Loki slowly entered, towing her along gently by the arm over his. He sincerely hoped she enjoyed it. It had taken him ages to put into effect.

Nancy glanced around at everything. The beauty and gold. The calm and quiet. No people, no drama. Just peace and closeness and togetherness. "What is this?" she laughed softly, glancing up at him. Her smile was genuine this time. If she hadn't known better, she would have called this a date.

"Oh, did I forget to mention?" Loki chuckled low. Of course he had forgotten to mention. On purpose, because he wanted to see this reaction. "We are the only guests this evening."

"Yeah, you might've forgotten that part." Nancy giggled, still stunned by his sudden change. He was so sweet and sincere. In this one moment, he finally saw her. He saw her as she truly was. Saw her as a person. She looked up at him, studying his eyes, as a teasing smirk pulled at the corners of her lips. "What's all this going to cost me?"

"I've yet to decide." Loki almost winced at the automatic answer. He had to get past that. She was hardly disobedient anymore. He didn't _need_ her to offer something in return, he just liked knowing he held the upper hand. It had always been a way to keep the status quo unchanging. "For now, let us simply enjoy the luxury, yes?"

Yet there it was. His god-complex. His need to be above her. Yet… he had gone out of his way to surprise her. And he'd come so far. He was trying, she could tell. It could take years to rid him of his need to be superior, if at all. But she would recognize the effort. Because he had, indeed, changed. So much. "Everything looks wonderful." She glanced up at him again, making sure he knew the gravity of her words. "Thank you."

Loki smiled, thankful she seemed to have overlooked his superior retort. They both knew he had many issues to work through, almost as serious as the ones thrown upon her. He reluctantly released her arm, but only to pull out her chair for her. "Pet."

Her laugh was a strange mix of gasp and scoff. "All this and you're _still_ going to call me 'pet'?" Well, Rome wasn't built in a day. Baby steps, she reminded herself, baby steps.

"Yes." Why wouldn't he? Had not even she said it was a term of endearment? Surely she could see how much she meant to him, now. Surely... Loki slid her chair in, situating her comfortably at the table before he moved to his own chair and sank onto it. They must get past this awkward tension between them. He couldn't imagine how, but they must.

Nancy's frown lasted only a moment. All this luxury, his kindness, his… acceptance of her. Yet she was still a pet to him. But, no. She wasn't. He wouldn't do all this for a pet. He'd locked her away when she was a pet and attended feasts without her, not threw them in her honor. No… she was more than a pet now. Nancy's smile returned. She was a friend.

And, she was absolutely starving. So many foods she'd forgotten. So many things she wanted to try. Roasted meats, potatoes, vegetables, fruits, desserts. It was heaven.

Loki watched her eyes dart to and fro, and found himself following their direction. Had he done something wrong? Forgotten something? She couldn't find fault in this, could she? He looked up at her. "Is everything alright? Something out of place?"

"No. Everything is fine." She gave him a genuine, grateful smile. "I just... haven't seen so much food in a while."

Of course she hadn't, and it was all his fault. He had denied her one vital part of existence. True sustenance. What kind of monster was he? As bad as all of Asgard thought him? Surely not, and yet...

"Aren't you going to eat?" Nancy finished piling her plate and glanced to his. Still empty. He'd been daydreaming again.

He shook his head slightly to stop that line of thought and looked around the table. Pheasant, grapes, melons... roast boar. That worked. Loki reached for the serving spoon and dished some onto his plate, attempting a small smile in Nancy's direction. "Distracted by thought. An old, odious habit."

Yes. Of course. She'd been distracted by thought so many times. "Old habits die slowly. But it's fine. I don't mind." She picked up a small potato and bit into it. Butter and sweet cream filled her mouth and dripped down her chin. Nancy couldn't help her small sound of pleasure as she covered her mouth and blush with a napkin. Regaining her composure, she turned her attention back to Loki. "What were you thinking about?"

 _You_. Loki smiled and shook his head. She would never believe that, even as true as it was. He returned the serving spoon and grabbed a bunch of grapes as well. "Everything. And nothing."

"Sounds like that would be distracting." This time, Nancy tried the meat. It must've been roasted for hours. Or days. It was the most amazing piece of meat she'd ever tasted. "This is delicious. We don't have things this good on earth."

"I am aware." This was Asgard, the realm of gods. Everything was better on Asgard. He had learned that quickly during his time away, banished and forgotten as surely as Thor had been. Worse, even. Loki smiled when he realized she had complimented the meal, even admitted Midgard didn't live up to these standards. "Is it to your satisfaction, then?"

"Yes. Of course." As Nancy glanced around at all the food again, she noticed their goblets of wine. A smirk crossed her features. "Do you remember the last time we had wine together? Back on Earth?"

Ah, yes. Their last game before the epic failure of study. Loki sipped his glass of wine with the reminder, savoring the sweet and tangy taste. He remembered all of it. Every last detail. "Quite differently than you remember it, I am sure. But enlighten me."

Nancy stopped to ponder his words. He remembered it differently than she did. For a moment, she wondered what he'd thought. But she quickly moved past it and made a mental note to ask him about it later. "I was thinking we could play our game again."

Loki bit back a smirk and nodded once, settling his glass on the table. "As you wish."

"Only, this time, I have no reason to fear for my life." Nancy traced the rim of her glass with one finger. "Just don't let me get drunk. I'll ask a question, and you answer honestly. But, this time, I want to know everything. No dancing around things like you did last time. And, this time, I'll answer any question you ask of me fully and honestly." She smiled brightly, satisfied with her terms. "The game ends when we run out of our first bottle of wine. So, you first. Ask me something. Anything."

He did smirk this time, intrigued. What to ask first? There were so many things he wished to know. He might as well start with the bluntly obvious ones, the ones he assumed but did not know. "Do you desire me..." How to put it delicately? He rolled his shoulders back and leveled his gaze at her. "...in _that_ way?"

Of course – god of mischief – he would choose that question first! Nancy blushed intensely. "Yes. I have since the day I met you. I think… I think it started when you brushed my hair from my shoulder. Since then… yes, I have desired you. And I do… desire you."

Good. He wasn't a complete dolt when it came to reading her. At least he had that comfort.

Nancy glanced away, thinking of her question. The one question she'd been dying to know for so long. She looked back at him again, studying his eyes, searching his soul. "Am I only a pet to you?"

Loki's smirk widened and he leaned back in his chair, gaze never wavering. She assumed such ridiculous things. "I would have thought you knew by now. No." he sipped his wine, in accordance to the rules of their game. "During your night in the washroom, how terribly did you wish it was you in my bed and not Maija?" Perhaps that pushed it too far, but he had to know. He had to understand why she had reacted as she did.

Nancy sipped on her wine, slowly, then traced the rim of her cup, thinking of her answer. She said she would answer honestly. Completely and honestly. "Terribly." she finally admitted, her voice quiet. "I cried. Sobbed. I… I wasn't good enough for you. I wasn't good enough to keep you." She swallowed as her throat grew tight. "Am I good enough for you?" Her eyes rose to meet his again, her pain showing through.

"More than." If he didn't eat, Loki realized, he would drink too much and act out thoughtlessly. He took a bite of boar before sipping his wine and asking his question. "How badly do the bruises hurt?"

She'd nearly forgotten about eating by now. She picked at it here and there. "Pretty bad. I couldn't even lift my arms to get dressed. And I think I still have a few broken ribs." How could she ask her next question? The one that meant the most. The one that resounded through her mind. Kept her awake at night and filled her waking hours. But she must. She had to know. "Why did you do all this to me? The cell, starvation, the muzzle, making me into your pet."

"To see how strong you were. To study you." He shook his head. Should he tell her? She deserved to know the truth about why he had brought her here. She should know why he had been so cruel. He looked away, not willing to see the rejection and disappointment in her eyes. "So you would understand me." He swallowed thickly, forgetting to sip his wine as he changed the subject. "How long, do you think, until you are fully and completely mine?"

Nancy shrugged and swallowed another sip of wine. "I don't know. Every time I close my eyes… I see that guard." She paused to catch his attention. "But know this: I _am_ yours. I will _always_ be yours." Finally, Nancy remembered her food, getting cold on her plate. She lifted a bite of roast meat to her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "What did you mean by you wanting me to understand you?"

Regaining his composure, Loki sipped his wine and pushed the memories of those horrible times to the back of his mind. He could ignore them if they stayed there, and answer simple. "These things you now understand... I, too, have suffered them." He shrugged at her, another question he burned to know popping into his head. "Are you still jealous of your sister?"

"No. Not anymore. But what do you mean? How did you suffer? We never tortured you or starved you." It was all starting to make since.

"Not you. Not earth, save the muzzle. One much more powerful." Loki sighed. Would she not let it go? He could not say more, not without breaking down. "Do you feel safe here?"

"I'm safe when I'm by your side." Nancy stood, forgetting her food. Forgetting their game. He was far too important for those petty things. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, softly stroking his hair. "Tell me what they did to you?" They'd hurt him. Some monster had hurt her Loki. But she was here now. And she'd never let anyone hurt him again.

Loki closed his eyes against the embrace, blocking out the tortures and focusing on her close proximity. "I cannot," he breathed. He wished he could offer more, but he refused to relive those moments in his life. He reached for her hand and wrapped his fingers around it. "You realize you are not safe anywhere except by my side. This is true."

Nancy kissed the top of his head and offered him a small smile. "I didn't hear a question in there."

"Why do you feel unsafe elsewhere?" He lifted her hand to his lips, almost closing his eyes as he gently kissed her fingers. How did one keep her skin so soft?

"Do you really have to ask? You're the only one I trust." She paused and ran the fingers of her free hand over his cheek. "Do you love me, Loki?"

Now, that question he hadn't expected. Loki furrowed his brow, stroking her hand with his thumb. Did he truly love her? Or was this infatuation? Could he truly love her? He hardly knew what love was anymore, so he answered truthfully. "I do not know. I may. But, love, please know I have never known true love. I may not know it if it barged through this very throne room."

Nancy dropped a soft kiss to his lips. "Will you let me show you?" she whispered, her lips still hovering near his.

"If you will allow me to teach you to dance, then yes." Loki smiled, desperately needing to hold her in his arms.

She laughed softly. "Favor for favor. Alright. But I don't know how much dancing I can do with cracked ribs."

"I will steady you." He met her gaze. He would not let her fall or injure herself. He would hold her steady and teach her carefully.

"But be careful. Everything still hurts."

Oh, well, she had just walked into that one. Loki smirked at her. "Let me kiss it better?"

He was so adorable. Nancy gave an honest, sincere laugh. It'd been so long since she'd laughed. And it hurt so much. She groaned and wrapped her arms around herself. "Don't make me laugh." She tried to smile through the pain, showing him she forgave him. That she could still love him through all the pain she endured. "Maybe tonight I'll let you."

"Mm." Loki allowed his gaze to rove over her, searching out every curve and imagining them under his hands and lips. "I look forward to it. Are you done eating?"

She glanced to her half-eaten plate. A meal she would've scarfed down before. "I guess I just don't have much of an appetite anymore." She looked back at him. "Is the night over so soon?"

Loki stood and held her hand a little tighter to steady her. "You said I might teach you to dance." Loki took a step back and bowed slightly. He had wanted to teach her to dance for weeks now. He couldn't believe she had finally accepted. He planned to make the most of it.


	48. Chapter 48

He wanted to dance with her. Finally. After all this time. She'd waited so long.

But the most she'd ever danced was at her sister's wedding. And even then it was only one group dance she'd rehearsed the steps for. Nancy gripped Loki's hand a little tighter, nervousness washing over her. "I'll warn you now," she teased, trying to smile, "I'm not very good."

"I'll warn you now... I am." For once in his life, Loki didn't lie. Frigga herself had taught him to dance, each step and twirl a conscious action. Until it became second nature. Loki pulled her close to him, one hand resting on the small of her back. He held her lightly, not demanding or crushing, but rather soft and tender. How he should have treated her all along. What a fool he had been.

Nancy gasped softly, a light blush crossing her features. He wasn't her captor anymore. Or her master. He was her friend. Noble and handsome. Strong and kind. His regality shone as bright as his armor, dazzling and overwhelming her.

Loki glanced up toward the ceiling, weaving his magic around the room. Music began, a soft lilting tune, coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once. The notes danced on the slight breeze, pulling them in and wrapping around them like a warm embrace. Loki led Nancy through the simple steps with deft and silent instructions, using only his hands and core and allowing her to feel what would come next, where he would move.

The dull pain in her ribs faded from existence. There could be no pain as long as she stood in the arms of the man she loved. All she could feel was his body against hers, moving slowly and gracefully. Nancy gazed up into his eyes, letting his body lead her.

She had finally made eye contact with him again, and Loki couldn't resist his smile. She was so beautiful and innocent, moving lightly in his arms as though made for this. He let his warm emotions shine through his eyes. "A natural."

"If you say so." Nancy chuckled, still lost in his eyes. The light was so bright now. Burning deep inside him, illuminating his soul. She remembered the dark days; the days when they'd first met. A spark, a flicker. But now… now, he was different. He'd changed. And she'd never seen him so happy.

"Will you dance with me at the next feast?" she asked, genuinely hoping he would, "In front of everyone?"

Loki laughed good-naturedly. She hated feasts as much as he did, this he knew full well. If she graced him with her presence, he would more than welcome it. He would, in fact, exclude everyone else if only she would talk to him. "Will you come?"

"Yes. Of course." Nancy moved her hand so she could twine their fingers together. "I don't want you to have to sit through that horror alone."

"Good. I hate sitting alone." Loki spun her into a new step, wider and more intricate. It being similar to a waltz, he supposed she could get the hang of it fairly quickly. She didn't disappoint.

"I know you do." For a moment, she remembered his cell in Stark Tower. How he'd been forced into solitary. Chained and muzzled like an animal. But she'd seen him. She saw his misery and loneliness.

He would never have to face that torture again. She would die before she'd let that happen. "Do you still have that book I gave you?" Nancy suddenly asked him, "From when Stark held you captive."

Loki thought back. His time in Stark's dungeon seemed so long ago now. Like a different lifetime. He barely remembered her bringing the tome, let alone his reading it. He may not have, come to think of it. Those were dark and lonely days. "Somewhere. Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering if you kept it." Nancy moved closer, pressing her body against his. No, he would never have to see those monsters again. They would never hurt him again.

"I do not recall ever having the time to read it. What is it about?"

Nancy frowned. What had they done to him? When she was there, he was sitting in his cell. Bored and chained. How could he not have time to read? "It was a book of plays." She swallowed thickly, realizing how painful the memories must be for him. "Shakespeare."

Loki grimaced. Had he the ability, he would have read it. It might have helped him pass the time. As it was, he had been disabled. "My apologies. I was rather... tied up."

"I know. I… I'm so sorry for what they did to you, Loki. You deserved better."

They had ventured into a dangerous subject, but one he expected her to bring up. He switched into a new step, hoping it would distract her enough to make her forget the subject.

"How did you know I was there?" Nancy finally asked after a moment.

Loki laughed. She would never believe him if he said his superior hearing had allowed him to recognize her presence, even when she thought she had been silent. "Love, I always knew when you were there."

"But _how_?"

"Did you know you have a particularly endearing habit of thinking aloud?"

"Yes. But there was no way you could hear me through that wall." It was steel and bullet-proof glass. There was no way he could have heard her.

The chuckle slipped out before he could stop it. She had such a small imagination sometimes, most mortals did. She simply didn't understand the extent of his abilities, and he was fine to allow her the ignorance she so cherished. "Suit your own fancy."

"You're never going to tell me, are you?" she laughed, staring him down with a mock glare. He would, in time. But she preferred sooner rather than later.

And there was the Nancy he had grown to love. The pestering little mortal who would never give up, no matter the cost. It didn't anger him, it merely grew tiresome some days. He suited with an answer he knew she would understand. "I am the god of _mischief_ and _lies_. Did you really think you could hide from me?"

Nancy blushed a bit. "No. I guess not." He wasn't a god, but she'd go with it, for now. He was powerful and magical, so she supposed perhaps he could have heard her. And there really was no hiding from him. She'd tried, for so long. But no longer. She had no reason to hide from him anymore.

Slowly, Nancy slid her hands up to Loki's neck, sliding them under the collar of his armor. She softly stroked the back of his neck, under his hair. "Hold my waist." she whispered, drawing even closer, "This is how we dance on earth."

At her suggestion, Loki moved his hands to cup her waist. "I think I much prefer this position." She fit so well against him, in his hands. How had he been so blind for so long? More concerned with his own pride and need for someone to know what he had gone through, he had abused and used her. How could he ever make it up to her?

As slowly as she'd moved her hands up to his neck, she moved to wrap her arms around his shoulders. "I do, too." This was all so perfect. All she'd ever wanted. Nancy leaned her head against his, desperately hoping the night would never end.

Loki's eyes slid closed as a soft, content sigh left his lips. He could spend hours like this, holding her as though nothing had ever happened. In the end, he knew they would both have to return to what their reality had become, as unsafe and uninviting as it was. For now, he simply swayed with her as his arms wrapped around her waist seemingly of their own accord.

The minutes passed slowly. Hours in the span of moments. Finally, Nancy took a step back. Not enough to pull away, but enough to capture his attention. "You say you wouldn't know love if it marched right past you, but I think you would. Everyone has some sort of fantasy about what they think true love is. What it feels like. What do you think it is?"

He shrugged, his eyes fluttering open to look down at her. "I have lied to myself for so long, I do not know the honest answer."

"And what lie would that be?"

"That true love is perfect. That there are no mistakes."

Nancy searched his eyes, a bit shocked at his answer. How could he believe in any sort of situation where there would be no mistakes? The essence of life itself was the fact there would be mistakes. She smiled softly, understandingly. "Yes, that is a lie." But of course he would believe that. He would hope for it with all his heart. The one who had made so many mistakes, who had done so many things wrong… of course he would long for a perfect love.

"Tell me this, then." Nancy wrapped her arms around his shoulders again. "What do you want in your woman?"

The sound that burst from his lips was more breath than chuckle. Of course she would ask that. How could she still think in this vein after all he had done to her? He didn't deserve her love, or her attentions, as desperately as he may want them. "Someone that pleases me. Someone I please."

"Now we're getting somewhere. What else?" Nancy softly brushed her lips over the side of his neck, giving him a tender kiss. He was so sweet when he wanted to be. Vulnerable and… human. He wasn't a god. He was a man. Her friend.

Loki's breath caught in his throat. _Breathe, you imbecile_ , he reminded himself. He hadn't expected her to do that, to open herself so fully to him so soon after all her tragedies. He had brought them on her, how could she still want him? He swallowed convulsively. "Someone who... understands, I suppose."

"You seem a bit... distracted." Nancy grinned. He was finally allowing her to be herself. To tease him, though lovingly. To be real and pure and honest. She leaned her head against his shoulder and gave a happy sigh. "Okay she needs to understand you and please you. What else?"

"Well, she must be beautiful." He shot her a pointed glance. She was beautiful, in so many ways it hurt to think about it. Her beauty radiated from the inside out, not the outside in. She might be pleasant to look at, but she also possessed grace and wit and charm. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, holding her in earnest now.

Nancy closed her eyes, feeling his loving embrace. "There are many beautiful women in Asgard. Yet you won't even dance with most of them, much less love them.

"Because she must also be loyal and genuine." He turned into the step they had started with earlier, never relinquishing hold of her. Good thing it was an easy step, because otherwise he would not have bothered.

"Because she wants to be or is forced to be?" She reached up with one hand and toyed with a strand of his hair. "Even dogs obey their master's whip."

Loki sighed, slowing the step. Of course it was all a lie. He had lied to himself and to her for months now. He deserved her betrayal. She didn't need someone like him, who may never have full control over his emotions. She couldn't want him. Not now. "One cannot force anyone to be completely loyal."

"No, but he sure can try. And try you did." Nancy took a step away from him and gazed up into his eyes once again. "I'm loyal because I _want_ to be, not because you force me to be."

"Thank you, pet." He quickly wiped the look of surprise off his face. She couldn't know how insecure he felt about her feelings. He wasn't entirely sure he had heard her correctly. Still she claimed loyalty to him? Even after his violence and deceit toward her? Even after he had taken another woman who had managed to evoke emotion from him.

She'd noticed his look of surprise. Then the flash of hurt and guilt, quickly masked by his cool demeanor. But she'd seen it. It was there. Nancy stopped fully and studied him. His expression. His eyes. Something was bothering him. "What's wrong?" she whispered, truly concerned.

Loki forced a smile, needing her to think everything was alright, when instead he felt only turmoil inside. "Nothing is the matter. I just... no one has ever been loyal to me out of pure devotion."

"Why not? You're not _that_ cruel."

"Many think I am. Or that all I do is a lie. A trick." His smile faltered. Even his adoptive father had thought that, and his biological father had been no better. Thor may have been one to see through his tricks, but his brother always expected a trick, not honesty. No one claimed loyalty to him, because he did not inspire loyalty.

She watched his smile fade. The hurt that finally showed. His heart and soul bared before her. Nancy wrapped her arms around him, engulfing his pain in a true, loving hug. "Then they don't know the real you." she whispered against him.

"And do you?" He needed only to hold her, to look into her eyes and see the sincerity there.

"I'm starting to." She buried her face in the side of his neck again, breathing in the scent of his skin. He wasn't the villain everyone thought he was. Yes, he'd done some very bad things. But everyone makes mistakes. And if his story of tortures and horrors was true, his actions weren't entirely his fault. She knew his heart, and he was good. She knew that for a fact.

Loki dropped a kiss to her soft hair. She didn't fear him. This was not behavior of someone who feared their captor. How had he managed that? How did she remain so strong that even his most concentrated efforts to alienate her only served to draw her closer?

"I think I saw the real you the day I met you." Nancy continued, pulling away just enough to look at him, "That's why I sat with you after the battle. Why I kissed you. I saw you hurt and broken and alone. But you were still kind to me. I know you healed me on the quinjet. And then you had your men protect me during the battle. You had every chance to harm me, but you didn't. That's the _real_ you."

Was it? Loki wasn't entirely sure. He had played the scoundrel for so long, lied to himself and the realms around him. He had convinced himself he was no better than what they thought of him, and they all thought him a villain. He had attempted to destroy Jotunheim to win his father's favor. He had tried to overthrow Midgard to prove he could rule. He had lived a life in others' shadows, and he had allowed himself to turn into what they saw him as. Could he truly change? Could he become what Nancy saw in him, good and kind and trustworthy?

They continued on in silence for a while, swaying softly to the music. Nancy held him close, holding onto the moment. She knew eventually they had to return to normalcy. To the life they had created for themselves. Pet and master. Companions, at best. But tonight had been beautiful. He had loved her and she loved him. They had been equals, friends… lovers, even, if she'd had the strength for it.

"It's getting late." she finally whispered in his ear, "Are you ready to return to your chambers, master?"

Loki pulled back and smiled down at her. He didn't know the answer to any of his questions, but he knew he could better trace a path that would lead to a favorable outcome. "If you wish," he conceded with a small bow.

Nancy did her best at a curtsy and forced a smile. "How long must I call you 'master'?"

"Mm. I haven't decided. I've rather grown to enjoy that word slipping from your lips." Loki smirked, only half-teasing. He liked the way it sounded on her tongue, but he would no longer force her to use the term.

She shrugged. "It's more habit now than anything." Her smile widened into a genuine grin. No matter what he called him, he was still hers. And she was his. She leaned forward and gave him a light, lingering kiss. "Thank you for tonight."

Every instinct in him wanted to pull her back and claim her lips, to show her how very rare and precious she was to him. One thing would lead to another, however, and he knew she wasn't ready. She may never be ready. He took a breath and nodded once. "After what you've been through, it is the least I can do."

With the mention of her attack, the memories flooded back in. She closed her eyes and tried to push the memories away. That guard was dead. Loki would never allow anyone to hurt her again. She was safe now. Safe in his arms. "What happened to me wasn't your fault." Nancy swallowed thickly and looked up at him. "You don't have to make up to me for it."

"If I had not seen fit to leave you alone in a cell... I knew the dangers lurking in this palace, yet I paid them no heed." Loki slid his eyes closed, but all he could see behind the dark lids were pictures of her battered body.

"This is your _home_ , Loki." Nancy reached up to caress his cheek. He felt so guilty. She could tell. "You should be able to feel safe here, no matter where in the palace you are. And I spent nights in that cell before."

He shook his head. As king, it was his job to know everything. Odin would have seen it coming. He would have done something to protect the woman he loved. "I should have known Galt would betray me."

She wrapped her arms around him. "How could you have known? He was just a bad guy in a bad place. I should have been safe there. You couldn't have known." Perhaps it was somewhat his fault, inadvertently. But she didn't blame him for it. Neither of them could have predicted her attack. It wasn't his fault. He hadn't been the one who'd hurt her.

Loki held her close, relishing her warmth and the security of having her in his arms. She was okay now. She was healing. He bit his tongue to stop the arguments rising, even if he still felt as guilty as he ever had. One of his hands reached to stroke her hair. "Do you wish to retire now?"

Nancy nodded slowly. "I wish I could give you what you want," she whispered, feeling guilty herself, "But I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Not so soon. I'm sorry."

"I understand." Loki nodded in complete understanding. He hadn't asked for it. He hadn't thought she would be ready, not now. Perhaps not for a very, very long time. Half of the blame lay on his shoulders, and he would take the responsibility for it. He would control himself, like the man he had become. "Soon."

A new, soft smile lit Nancy's features. She slid her hand down his arm and twined their fingers together. "But I did promise I'd let you kiss me."

Loki smirked. She had said nothing about teasing, either. Something he was more than brilliant at. He traced his thumb over her hand, tossing her a smoldering look. "Here? Or there?"

With a grin, Nancy walked forward and turned, gently tugging his arm. "Come find out."

Loki put his entire foreseeable future in her hands. Only she knew how far she would want to go or what she liked and disliked. He didn't know the triggers or the places she would find the most pleasure. So he let her lead. Wherever she wanted to go.

The warm firelight reflected off the gold and marble of the halls as they walked, making the way seem all the more peaceful and romantic. Outside, peeking through the ancient lattices and towering columns, the stars and planets blanketed the skies.

Nancy pushed the grand, golden doors open and led Loki toward his bed. She sat down on the edge and pulled him down next to her, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss the moment he drew close.

Every pent-up worry and frustration melted away at her tender touch. Nothing could reach them in this little world of theirs, where they were safe from harm and everything revolved around the other person. He snaked a hand to her waist, needing to feel her beneath him, to tell what she needed. He leaned into the kiss, only deepening it despite his better judgment. He wanted so much more with her. A longing so deep it hurt burst forth into the passion of his exploring kiss.

He wanted more. He wanted to go farther than she did. And he was beginning to take control. Nancy tensed slightly, but continued kissing him. As long as he didn't go too far, she would be alright. She must be.

The instant she tensed beneath him, Loki knew he could go no farther. He wouldn't hurt her again, not after everything she had been through. A kiss, that was what she said, and he had given a kiss. Valhalla and all the stars, it had been a kiss. He smiled at her, placing one last lingering touch to her lips. "Just a kiss. I promised. However, perhaps in a few days, I would like to kiss each bruise better. If you would allow it."

"Yes. Maybe in a few days." Nancy blushed slightly at the thought of his kisses exploring her body. She smiled and stood. "Good night, master. I really did enjoy tonight."

"As did I, pet. As did I." With little to do, Loki stripped to just his trousers and, as always, slid under his silken covers. He gave nary a thought to his pet or her comfort. A side effect of his stupid, selfish ambitions and pride. He regretted it almost the instant his head hit the pillow.

Nancy's smile faded to a frown. Everything had shifted back to normal. He'd turned away from her again. With a sigh, the turned for the chaise and perched on the edge. _All this, and I'm still a pet._ she thought to herself. Even after everything, after they'd both lowered their barriers and became so close, he still thought of her as a pet. She sat in limbo, somewhere between a prized animal and a cherished friend.

Knowing he couldn't leave her rejected, Loki rolled over, fully intending to offer to let her sleep beside him. Instead, he saw only concern on her features. Concern, and disappointment. He blinked and studied her for a moment. He should have known better. "Something worries you."

Nancy glanced up at him and forced a smile. "No. No, I'm fine. Just... tired, is all." She leaned back against the back of the chaise and pulled the velvet cover over her. "I'm just tired. Really."

"Pet?" He sat up, concerned. She never stumbled over words unless something was horribly wrong. He knew he had made yet another mistake, but he wouldn't correct it until she opened to him and told him what made her look so... sad. "Why do you look at me like this?"

"How am I looking? I'm just watching you until I fall asleep myself." She pulled the covers tighter. "I'm _fine_."

"I have seen this look before. You desire something." He met her gaze, his own never wavering. "What is it?"

She should know better than to fight him. He was the god of lies and she was a horrible liar. "It's just… your bed is so large. And this glorified chair is so… well, it's not a bed. And…" Should she tell him? Would he scoff at her desires, or open up to her? Would he let her in? "The truth is…" She looked away, embarrassed by her weakness. "I wanted to lay next to you and feel your arms around me. I feel safe when I'm with you. I just wanted to feel your warmth… and closeness."

Loki swallowed. If she laid in his arms, how could he resist her? His control was never so great anyway, so why did he think he could resist her? Then again, how would she ever let him in if he did not at least try? Perhaps, for her sake, he could keep his hands to himself. He reached for the covers beside him and tossed them aside, gently patting his hand against the green silk sheets.

At hearing the rustling of the sheets on his bed, Nancy looked back at him. He was inviting her closer. No favors had to be given. No special words spoken. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.

She stood and joined him in his bed, carefully snuggling close. "I know you would never hurt me." she whispered, drawing closer. "We'll just lay together. That's it."

Loki smiled, trying and almost failing to hold back his laugh at her unfortunate turn of phrase. "Are you familiar with Medieval and Edwardian terminology?" He wrapped his arm around her torso, holding her as she had requested.

"Yes. I know." Nancy rolled her eyes and relaxed against him, finally allowing herself to smile, "'Lay together'. You knew what I meant."

"I only suggest you choose your wording more carefully." He did laugh, then. Her expression was so guileless and adorable. "Lest I misunderstand you."

"You _knew_ what I meant." Nancy insisted, laughing herself. As she calmed, she studied him. Yes, she could look at him all day, but he was so much more than a handsome face and toned body. More than his regality and princely features. He understood her on a level none could reach. His mind and wit were unmatched. His thirst for knowledge and understanding of words were both as great as her own. She'd never met anyone like him, and she never would again. He could very well be her other half. A missing piece of her soul.

"I love you." Nancy whispered softly, nuzzling under his chin.

Loki held her closer, her body pressed against his long, lean muscles. He could lay like this forever and never tire of it. "I knew what you meant this time... but I am not always so coherent."

"I'll be careful what I say." Nancy mumbled, sighing happily.

Loki rested his face in her hair, just as soft as he remembered it being. Even better than having Maija beside him was having Nancy trust him enough to lay in his arms. He mumbled out the habitual words, "I release you to sleep."

As soon as the words were spoken, Nancy found herself unable to keep her eyes open. She was already falling asleep against him. In one last moment of consciousness, she whispered, "Are you ever going to release me from that spell?"

"But I like having you whenever I want." Loki pulled his face from her hair and smiled at his own double-entendre. She really should have seen that one coming. She left the door for it wide open.

Nancy pulled away just enough to give him a playful glare, then rolled over, still snuggled close. She trusted him now, in ways she never had before. He would never harm her, she knew that for a fact. And now, here in his arms, she felt safe and secure and _wanted._

Even though she turned away, Loki sensed her need for closeness. He held her gently, but firmly, his own eyes drooping in exhaustion. It had been a long day, and tomorrow was sure to be worse. When one traitor showed his true colors, the rest were quick to follow.


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N: It's getting crazy, guys! Bear with us through this, because we're about to tie a lot of things together and careen off toward the climax of our adventure... I said toward, okay?! I know we're long-winded. Thanks for sticking with us so far :)**

* * *

Nancy hummed softly, her quill scratching lightly against an ancient parchment. She paused momentarily to examine a word in one of the tomes scattered around her, then continued her work. Recollecting the horror she faced the last time she studied in the library, Nancy now constrained her supplies to one table near the golden doors.

Weeks ago, after that awful night in the washroom, Loki removed the cuff bracelet from Nancy's wrist. She was more than happy to have it gone. And now, back within the royals' wing of the palace, she knew she was safe enough to roam the halls. The library wasn't too far from Loki's room. If she called for him, he would come.

A guard burst through the door, panting heavily. Twin creases in his brows showed just how concerned he seemed. "I've been sent to fetch you, miss."

At the sound of the doors bursting open, Nancy froze. But the voice she heard wasn't the one she'd expected. It was a guard. How did he get in? The doors were supposed to have been locked.

Cautiously, Nancy probed the situation, her back to the intruder. She would see how sincere he was. She dipped her quill in a jar of ink and continued writing. "You could've knocked," she retorted, aloof and unconcerned, "Give me a moment. I'm mid-translation."

He glanced around the library, eyes shifting nervously. He moved from one foot to the other and folded his hands in front of him. "It's urgent."

His armor rustled and clanked as he shifted, an obvious sign of nervousness. "Did the king send for me? He usually comes to get me himself." Nancy turned a page and ran her finger down the middle of a column of text. "Is someone dying?"

"I'm not allowed to divulge that information." His eyes shifted again, taking in the entire library, King Loki's place. "Please, miss. I could lose my post."

Now that was a red flag if she'd ever seen one. No guard could lose his post if sent on assignment. Nancy finally turned and narrowed her eyes, looking the guard over. His worried, definitely nervous, expression. "The only one who would ever send for me would be Loki. And if he sent for me, why would you lose your post?"

"What if I don't bring you quick-like? He's moody, mind you." He bit at his lip and looked away.

 _Liar._ Nancy stood straighter and folded her hands behind her back. "Then that's on me, not you." She eyed him once more, reading the tell-tale signs of disloyalty. "Leave. Now."

"I can't. Not 'til I deliver you like I was told." He straightened, his nervous energy draining away to be replaced with rapt determination.

Slowly, stealthily, Nancy reached behind her for one of her quills. A wooden handled pen found its way into her hand. She gripped it tightly. "Go tell the king I refused to comply. Let him deal with me himself."

The guard ran a hand down over his face and sighed in frustration. He took a step forward. "Miss. Please. I'm trying to make this easier on both of us." His voice came out a bit squeaky.

"Then tell me who sent you." Nancy stood straighter "What is the urgent matter?"

"I've been instructed not to say." He bit out, louder than he probably intended. "Only been told you don't particularly like to be touched, so try to avoid manhandling you."

That was definitely a threat. Nancy swallowed and glared at him, taking the moment to slip the pen up her sleeve. On the one hand, this could be another of Loki's surprises. But knowing him, he liked to surprise her himself. And he knew how she felt about guards, especially since her attack. On the other hand, this could be a trap. A band of guards seeking revenge for Galt's death.

Taking a deep breath, Nancy sliced her left index finger with the sharp point of the pen. She couldn't fight Asgardian guards, especially not a gang of them. But she could leave a trail. Loki would come for her soon – she set her hand down on the notes she'd been taking, letting her blood saturate the page – and she would make sure he found her.

Slipping her hand into her sleeve and the pen farther up her arm, Nancy nodded to the guard. "Take me to him."

The guard nodded once, his shoulders slumped in relief. He turned slightly and motioned to her. "Just this way." he started down the hallway.

As she walked, Nancy squeezed her finger, letting her blood drip behind her, onto the floor. Hopefully Loki would come soon enough to find it, before a maid cleaned it away.

The guard stopped and turned halfway, as though to say something. His eyes landed on the floor, and he stepped forward to see more clearly. "Are you bleeding, miss? That won't do. Let us have a look-see?"

"It's fine. Just a paper cut." Nancy put on a winning smile. "Nothing to worry about. We have an urgent matter to tend to."

"Yes. Very good." He sighed and stepped back, even though the blood seemed to concern him. "He's in the gardens. You might want to go first."

Loki would never take her to the gardens. He hated them and had strictly forbidden her from them. This was a trap. She turned to the guard, hatred burning behind her cool demeanor. "Why? I'm following you. Lead me to him."

He sighed again, his gaze lingering on the blood on the floor. "Suppose we'll walk together then." He gingerly opened the door and motioned her in.

All in one motion, Nancy slipped in and turned to face him, ever alert.

The guard followed her swiftly. The door slammed shut behind them, echoing in the vast garden. He motioned her ahead of him again. "Down this path."

"After you." Nancy bit at him. "I insist."

The guard started down the path, turning and twisting his way through a few lesser-used paths toward the labyrinth.

He wanted her alone, somewhere it would be difficult to find her. Nancy continued squeezing her finger, her left hand now streaked in blood. Surely Loki would follow her trail. He would find her. Hopefully before it was too late.

In a space near the maze, trees and bushes created a blind spot to the rest of the garden. The light faded a bit in the alcove of leaves, and the path remained quiet and still. The guard hung his head and pressed a hand to his forehead, his voice no more than a quavering whimper when he spoke. "I'm so sorry, miss."

"You should be!" Nancy barked, letting the pen drop into her hand. She glanced around, anticipating the attack. He wasn't working alone. She knew that for a fact. Let them come. She was ready.

The guard turned to her and stepped toward her, his gaze not wavering, but rather misting over.

Let him cry his sorry tears. Disloyalty of the highest accord. A guard no different than a HYDRA sleeper agent. "Did your king ever tell you how we met? I was a warrior on Earth." Nancy assumed a fighting stance and gripped the pen tighter. "I swore to protect the innocent. I thought you swore the same."

"That was before my family was starving." He moved closer, a single tear belying his stoic, angry facade. "Before I had nothing left to live for!"

"What of your mighty Asgardian honor?" Nancy spat, backing away. "I thought you would all fall on your swords before attacking one of the king's treasured."

He reached a hand to snatch her arm, clear confusion on his face. "I would have... I swear, but..."

Nancy dodged his grip and scrambled backward. "You're no better than that pig of a guard. You're _all_ pigs. _Spineless_ pigs. Your honor is in the _mud_!"

He dropped his hand, all pretense of fight leaving him as he watched the path at his feet. "Is it over now? Can they be free?"

A bevy of armed men descended on Nancy. One took her weapon while others grabbed arms and legs, immobilizing and subduing.

Nancy cried out as she was grabbed from all sides. Wounds that were still healing were pushed and pulled on. She struggled, but found it was no use against the brute force of her Asgardian attackers.

She snarled at the guard who betrayed her. "Loki will have your head for this! And I hope Odin's ravens feast on your body while it rots!"

The guard stared at her, tears flowing freely now. Guards never cried, but this one did. He wept, over the past and over the future, as he looked to the nearby ruffians. "Can they be free now?"

The ruffian nearest him sneered, a half-angry, half-gleeful look that would send shivers down the straightest spine. "You kept your end." With a quick flick of his wrist, he sent a dagger straight through the troubled guard's heart. "We'll keep ours."

Wide eyes signified the guard's shock, seconds before he hit his knees, then his face planted against the gravel path. Red spilled in a burgeoning pool of death around his lifeless form.

"Let me go!" Nancy screamed as she thrashed, the sudden death of the sorrowful guard spurring her fear, "Loki! Loki!" She shrieked at the top of her lungs, hoping someone in the palace would hear.

"Bring her. And shut her up." The man in charge, newly promoted it seemed, shouted the order as a demand, not a request. His men subdued her again, each working to keep her still as they dragged her through a dark path toward the back wall. Someone, along the way, produced a strip of rag that could be used as a gag.

Even with the bitter rag in her mouth, Nancy continued to scream. Hopefully the clues would be enough. Loki would come for her. He'd promised to always come for her.

The men didn't heed her cries, instead dragging her out through a back gate and forcing her into a blacked-out carriage. With a single cry to the driver, it rumbled away through the streets of Asgard.

Nancy panted softly as she tried to concentrate on where they were taking her. How many turns this way or that. What the faces of the men looked like or any identifying marks they had. Not that she could see all too well in the darkness of the carriage.

She sat motionless, waiting for something to happen.

After many turns and quite a few quick stops, as though to let someone pass, the carriage stopped with a jerking motion and the door flew open. The place they dragged her to seemed large, like a banquet hall with curtains separating the rooms. Random men peered out to see the prize, though most just sneered or laughed. They knew Loki's woman when they saw her, and they knew the plan.

A man stood from a table at the far end of the room. His features were strong, stoic and unwavering. With confidence only a leader possessed, he strutted toward them, his eyes locked on the girl in their arms. "This is the reason he's dead, then?"

Nancy sneered through her gag. She knew who this was. Scum of the galaxy. If they released her, she would jump him. Pull his head clean off with her bare hands. She grumbled something, her words muffled by the gag.

A malicious chuckle tore from his throat in a sound of hatred and maniacal pleasure. "Oh, _please_ , let her speak. I'd love to hear what she has to say."

"You look like him, you little bastard." Nancy spat, still glaring. "I'm _glad_ he's dead. He deserved it."

The man chuckled again. She had noticed, he found, that he looked like his father. The same man she had ended with a bat of her eyelashes. "I still don't see how this animal is better than he was." With a single motion, he started toward a curtain in the back of the room. "Bring her this way."

Nancy struggled, but was dragged along anyway. "Once Loki frees me, I will personally throw you into your very own ring of Hel."

"Ooh. Threats. Did you threaten him, too?" Two fingers were sufficient to move aside the large curtain. An ominous space filled his vision, a glorious masterpiece of the vengeful mind. Two large cages sat anchored in the center of the empty room, both made of the finest metals and unbreakable. One sat empty, and to that one he motioned. "Put her in there."

His own steps took him toward the second cage, where a small blonde woman sat still against the bars. One of the prizes he so efficiently sent men to collect. One more reason for the trickster king to leave his gilded fortress and fight like a man.

"I didn't need to threaten your swine of a father." Nancy struggled as she was shoved into her cage. She immediately turned and gripped at the bars. "Loki is a threat all by himself. I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into. I've seen him rain fire down from the edge of the universe. And that was on the innocent. I can only imagine what he'd do to you."

The new woman was a spitfire, as he had once heard someone call a Midgardian. A woman who spoke her mind and pushed her boundaries. Yet, this blonde before him... This Maija... was the complete opposite. And she was the one who drew him. He squatted next to her and offered a smirk. The little blonde woman cowered back against the bars, a satisfactory whimper pealing from her lips.

"Now that we're all here, it's time to play." He placed two fingers around a tuft of beautiful blonde hair and brought it to his nostrils, inhaling the scent of this timid woman before him. Her tears drew his own hand to her cheek, his knuckles pressed against the wetness of a woman in distress. "Tonight," he pressed his cheek to hers and let his lips linger by her ear. "Tonight, you are mine."

Nancy watched the scene closely, reading all the signs. Her tears. The way she cowered away from him. The fact she calmly let him near. How many times had Nancy done the same when Loki approached her? The poor woman had been tortured. For a while, it seemed.

"Why have her when you could have me?" Nancy stood straighter, lifting her chin. This girl had been through enough. But she herself had survived. She was strong and could fight… for them both.

He stood, chuckling again when Loki's other woman thought she could negotiate her way out of this. How naive and childish. "Why take what Galt – _my father_ – has already taken?" He shrugged, his eyes never leaving the beautiful woman at his feet. Not until he turned to leave her cage and slam the door behind him.

"Because there's more left to take." Nancy sneered, her words seething through her teeth, "No matter what you do to me, you will _never_ break me. I know. Men have tried."

"You think you are here to be broken?" He laughed loudly, amused by her vain imaginations. His feet moved easily across the floor, stopping before her cage to look over the... _interesting_ garb the false king provided her. "You are bait."

In a crazed frenzy, Nancy grabbed for the man, ready to rip him apart. "You will never win! You hear me? Never!"

Oh, how wild this one was. No wonder the trickster had thought to tame her. It seemed even he could not hold back the temper of a mortal. He laughed again and blew the small blonde a kiss before he stepped back through the curtain. Their time would come.

Nancy slammed her hands against the bars and slumped down to the floor with a huff. After a moment or two to regain her composure, she glanced to the woman beside her. She frowned deeply, feeling her pain. "How long has he been hurting you?"

Hurt eyes found Nancy's and held to them like a lifeline. "H-he only hit me once. B-b-but he... he keeps threatening."

Nancy moved to the bars separating them. "Has he done anything else to hurt you?"

"Not..." Another whimper escaped the small blonde woman's throat, followed by a near hysterical sob. "...not yet. But I hardly have use anymore. He'll not stop himself."

"What's your name?" Nancy asked as gently as she could. "I'm Nancy."

A sniff brought the sobs back under control, as if she had done this a thousand times before and had learned the tricks to see her through. Her big blue eyes disappeared against the shoulder of her red dress, then appeared again when the tears had gone. "M-Maija. Maija Vorsdottir."

 _Maija_. This was _the_ woman. Loki's lover. The woman he had wooed and won. Nancy swallowed thickly to regain her composure. "That's a beautiful name. For a beautiful girl. Do you have any family?" This wasn't the time for regrets and dredging up the past. Nancy had a job to do and told herself to focus.

"My f-father. And my elder brother." Maija stared at her in wonder, taking in the red in her hair and the distinctly non-Asgardian attitude she displayed. "You are not from here."

"No. I'm from Earth." She did her best to smile, really trying to give Maija an ounce of comfort. "I promise you, you'll see your father and brother again. What are their names?"

She didn't know if she could trust this woman, but Maija had no one else and was disintegrating fast. "Vor is my father. My brother is Skaldi." Realization hit her square between the eyes, and she had to lower her gaze to fight her hurt. "You are the girl, aren't you?"

How did everyone know about her? Was it that obvious? "What? Loki's pet human? Yeah, I am. But you're the one he likes. The one he went out of his way for. He has feelings for you, I'm sure of it."

"You... know me?" How could she know her? She had never seen this woman before in her life, and surely Loki wouldn't talk about one of his women to another.

"Yeah. Sort of." Nancy blushed and looked down at her hands, studying the drying blood on her fingertips. "Loki locked me in the washroom while you both..." She trailed off and shrugged. "It takes a lot for him to like someone. And he liked you."

Red heat flushed her face and neck. Maija pressed her palms to her eyes and took a steadying breath. Loki may have been kind to her, but would he have done this if she had stayed by his side? "I... I didn't know." A quiet pause revealed her thoughtfulness. "He really did like me?"

"Yeah." Nancy frowned, her sadness filling her voice, "He did." She forced a smile, forcing herself to remain positive. "He'll come for us."

"No." Maija blinked the tears away. Now, she had to be strong. There was no one for her. No one to hold her or love her or wipe away the sorrow. "He will come for you. Not me."

"He will come for _both_ of us. And even if he doesn't, I will find some way out of this. I promise."

"How can you?" The anguished cries wrenched from her chest without any warning. "We are in _cages_!" It wouldn't do to sob, but Maija did. She lost all sense of decorum and dropped her head into her hands, the tears and the cries shook her shoulders and echoed against the metal surrounding her.

"Shh. Maija, I'll figure a way out of this. I don't know how, but I will." She had to keep her spirits up, to keep her positive and strong. "What's the first thing you'll do once you get home? Hug your father? Tell your brother you love him? Sleep in your bed?"

"I will never, _never_ , accuse Skaldi of trying too hard to protect me again." Maija glanced skyward as if to seal her pledge, then wiped at her eyes as the tears continued to fall.

"Then you must stay strong and brave, so you can tell him. I don't know how long we'll be here, but we must fight through this."

Maija lowered her voice and pointed to the curtains. She hoped this other woman got the idea, that Kjell—the man who threatened—stood just beyond and she should take heed. "You _heard_ what he said. Tonight, he'll force himself on me. Valhalla and all the stars, if I could stop time..."

"I know you're scared, Maija, but don't fight _him_. It'll only make it that much worse. I know. I tried to fight off his father. I nearly died. Instead, do as he says. When he brings you back here, that's when you fight. You hate him with every fiber of your being. Hate will keep you alive."

"I've never hated anyone, I don't think." Another timid glance to the curtain told of her anxiety, her soul-deep sadness. "And you do not understand. He will... he will not remove me from the cage."

Nancy closed her eyes tightly and swore under her breath. How awful. He was going to force himself on this poor girl… and force Nancy to watch.

"Then I'll stand right here next to you," Nancy opened her eyes again and stared at Maija with a look of determination. "I'll stand here hating him for you."

An unpleasant expression flitted across Maija's face, merely an expression of her agony in this trying situation. She didn't want to think about it, but she had no hope left. "Thank you. Perhaps... perhaps if you goad him enough, he will take me where you do not have to watch."

"No. I won't let him take you away." Tears began to form in Nancy's eyes. She remembered the hurt and agony she'd felt. How she wished she'd had someone to save her. "You shouldn't have to face it alone."

"You would endure that... for _me_?" Why would a woman who knew of her torrid affair with a man she loved help the woman who stole Loki from her? It had been the briefest of times, and Loki had not spoken to her since, but surely it had hurt her.

Nancy's chest heaved as her tears streamed freely. "Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"I was with him, while you..." Maija, innocent as she always had been, couldn't help the blush that colored her skin, " _listened_. You harbor no resentment?"

"It wasn't your fault. Loki and I discussed that, and I forgave him for it. I just hope you can forgive him. He didn't do it to hurt you, just me."

"It did hurt. Not one letter. Not a single..." Maija shook her head. She had always known King Loki was a mischief maker. Her father had wanted a match, once upon a time, but all hope of that had left. "I mustn't dwell on it. I must summon courage... for..."

"Shh. He did like you. I just... I got in the way. I'm sorry. He deserves better than me. I'm just a mortal. You're an _Asgardian_ , and a beautiful one."

"A stupid one. If I hadn't been stupid enough to accept his invitation to tea, I wouldn't be here!"

Nancy choked back a sob and sniffed. The woman was right, of course, but she couldn't tell her that. So Nancy simply sat there with her, feeling the weight of all her mistakes. Had she given herself to Loki sooner, he wouldn't have taken Maija. She herself would be here alone, saving this innocent girl from Kjell's wrath.

But she was here now. Here to protect Maija from what lay ahead. She had taken the oath to be the last line of defense. The shield. And she would shield this girl from the horrors she herself had experienced. The tortures and pain. No matter the cost, Nancy would find a way out.


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: _Guys, I know it's been too long, and I apologize! Here's the next chapter, a little short but gearing up for some interesting things to come *maniacal laugh* We're far from over. Also, I again apologize for the long wait, but I rewrote this like five times before I was happy with it. ENJOY!_**

* * *

Loki hadn't heard a peep from her all afternoon. Strange, since she usually got into some kind of mischief or another. She had a strange propensity for ruining tables with ink spots, as well as pulling books out onto her own head. He tapped a finger on the table before him, wondering whether or not he should go after her. It seemed she had either had an uneventful or clumsy afternoon, or... something might be wrong. He shouldn't have left her, but this meeting couldn't wait.

What if, again, his absence caused her distress? There were so many variables to how that woman reacted around him. First, a fireball, then a scared little imp. How would she react to a danger beyond her knowledge?

Loki smiled softly despite his growing anxiety. He knew, very well, how the Nancy he'd first met would react to such a threat. She would hit, kick, and punch until she had no strength left in her body. Just as she had done to him their first time in each other's company. Memories he treasured fondly.

But, now... now he had changed her. Not for the better, he assumed. A warped moral code led to the destruction of all he held dear. Ever since that day on Jotunheim, everything he ever loved had been ripped from his grasp as soon as he realized how much he cared for it. A trick of fate, perhaps, or a curse laid in fallow ground by the Allfather himself. Either way, he didn't have a good feeling about Nancy's silence today.

Loki held up a hand to signal a stop to his advisors' chatter, and stood from his chair. "I say we adjourn for the day, and revisit this in the morning when we've all had a good night's rest. Traitors are no small matter." With a nod, he dismissed them all and turned to find his woman. The fact his pets and his collar hadn't alerted him bothered him endlessly. What in blazes could she be up to?

A smile spread on his lips as he walked. Whatever it was, wouldn't she be surprised to see him? He hardly ever managed to pull himself from these strategy meetings any more. He knew she missed his presence, as he missed hers.

In the past, he should have made more time to remain by her side, but this whole traitor business kept him busy and occupied. Besides, until recently, he hadn't realized what she truly meant. Curses on his skewed emotions! Why could he not have been born a war-crazy hero, like his half-brother? At least Thor knew enough to recognize when he loved a mortal and to act on it accordingly, not subject her to the harshest terrors he could think of. If he thought the Asgardians were his people, he knew he was sadly mistaken. They were far different than he, although... he tried to rule as the Allfather would have, justly but strictly. If only it were as easy as Odin made it seem.

A red splotch of liquid on the ground shattered his musings. Halls were never left a mess. Never. Had something spilled, it would have been immediately cleaned and shined. Loki bent to touch it and, as he thought, came away with fingertips smeared with blood.

He squared his shoulders as his spine stiffened. Few traipsed halls this close to the 'Trickster's room'. Even fewer had cause to smear blood on his halls. One by one, more drops met his trained eyes, and his heart beat faster in his chest. A huff became a snort as he tried to calm his breathing and still the red flaring in his vision. This anger, this rage, he hadn't felt since news of Frigga's death. Valhalla help the men who dared lay a finger on the woman he loved.

Determined to find the source of this travesty, Loki followed the trail the way it had come. Back to the doors of a library. His library. Any small hope that perhaps the blood didn't belong to the woman he cherished died with the light in his eyes. Ice filled his veins and turned his fingers to fists.

Last time someone had dared touch her, she had forever changed. It took him weeks just to pull her from her frightened shell. What more could be done to her? What treacherous thoughts could any attacker think suitable for the woman the Trickster King swore allegiance to?

A tight ball of panic settled in his chest and took up residence. He spun on his heel and followed it the other way. Through the garden. And to a blind spot.

His blood froze solid.

A guard lay in a pool of black liquid, turned solid by hours of solitude. Around him, Loki could see the signs of a struggle, a scuffle, a mission accomplished as they came to a stop in one central location on the gravel path. As did the blood trail from the library. Nancy's blood, he would wager money on. Only she would create such an obvious path and expect him to find it led to this wicked crime.

He was in no mood for this game of cat and mouse. The traitors on his realm must all be put away and silenced. This was no war of the gods, as some thought it. This was strictly a king protecting his throne and his closest friends. A sliver of hope blinked in his eyes before he extinguished it again. Now was not the time for childish expectations. However, there was no body. Had they killed her or tortured her for his benefit, Nancy would lie beside the guard on this darkened path.

The collar. Earlier, he had remembered the collar she still wore. Oh, thank the gods. A true chance of finding her lay just before him. Clearing his mind of the hard, boiling anger, Loki thought only of his beloved. With each breath, each heartbeat, a map built in his mind. Roads wound around a city he knew well and the gilded collar beckoned to his call.

Loki's eyes flew open, ignited by a fire consuming his soul. If anyone so much as looked at her the wrong way, they would all pay. Every single traitorous dog who stood guard around her. If he had no idea where to find the men destroying his precious realm before, he certainly knew now. There was no other explanation for the dastardly plot unfolding before his eyes. How dare they make Nancy the center of their evil intentions!

A helmet formed in green light and a cape flew behind him as Loki spun on his heel. With steely determination, a staff formed itself in his hand and punctuated each step with a sharp beat of the metal spear into the ground.

"Guards!" he demanded as he marched into the hall. Men scurried to aid him, aware of the green wrath pouring from every inch of their sovereign's being. Loki never looked away from where he was going, but the order flew in all directions anyway. "Call the warriors. NOW!"


	51. Chapter 51

Maija curled against the back of her cage and wrung her hands. The sun outside had lowered and finally slipped below the horizon. Only a black night sky stared in at them through the high, thin windows. Kjell had promised to return tonight, to exact his revenge on the King by using those he once held dear. She didn't want him to, but there was no recourse to stop him. So Maija waited, her agony rising like a tidal wave.

Nancy could sense her cellmate's dismay. How many times had she herself felt the same knot of dread churning in her own stomach? How many times had she waited, each agonizing minute an eternity, for her captor to return to torture her further? Each breath was a raging wind of fear. Each heartbeat could only bring the monster ever closer. But this girl… she was innocent, caught up in this game of war simply because of the man she knew. One poor choice, and now this travesty.

One quick breath to calm her own nerves, and Nancy stood to approach the door to her cage. "She doesn't have to be here!" she shouted to the rebel, "I'm the one you want! Let the girl go! Loki wants _me_ ; _I'm_ his pet! Let her go!"

With a single swish, the thick black curtain parted and Kjell strode into the candle-lit area. His stride was sure, steady, and menacing. His eyes reflected the light from their black pools. "There is no one to hear you but me and my men, and quite frankly you should stop before I let them loose on you."

Nancy's glare didn't waver. "I'm the one you want. His _prized_ _treasure_. He told me so himself. Let the girl go." She had to do something to get him to concede. In all her months of bartering, she had learned a thing or two. "I will give myself to you in exchange for her freedom." It was her only bartering chip.

"Tsk, tsk. We've been over this." Kjell barely noted Nancy's insult. She could not have offered a more unappealing option. Why have the King's beloved when the King's whore was so much more beautiful? He stopped at the bars to the little blonde woman's cage. "I'm not going to take my father's leftovers. I want this one."

"You're just a coward!" Nancy seethed, reaching through the bars in an attempt to grab him, "I bested your father, and you're too much of a coward yourself to try! Pity." Of course, she did have a reason for wanting him in the cell with her. One, to get him away from Maija. And two, she had her training to fall back on. She'd fought Loki off before, so how hard could this one be?

"I'd never waste my time on a cow like you." Kjell sneered. The latch to little Maija's cage opened easily with the key around his neck, and he stalked inside and clasped the door shut behind himself. "This Valkyrie, however..."

Maija curled against the bars, allowing the cold metal to push against her back. Any pain was better than the pain of knowing what he planned for her.

She had to do something, and fast. Make the girl unappealing. Make herself vulnerable. "Fine. If you want the king's scraps, go ahead. He's never been with me."

"Tells us something, then, doesn't it?" Kjell knelt beside Maija and stroked his fingertips against her soft, angelic skin. Yes, he definitely saw what the king had seen in this one. Easily broken, but well worth the time it would take to be gentle with her. "This one must have something you don't."

Tears filled Nancy's eyes as she realized there was nothing she could do. He was too far away and her cage was still locked. She'd tried to pick it, but the complicated Asgardian metal was too much for her. She could only sink to her knees and watch helplessly. "I'm sorry." she whispered, knowing all too well the horror the frightened girl was about to experience. Her tears spilled over. "I'm so sorry."

The instant he made a move to touch her other than her cheek, Maija shied away again, scrambling toward the corner. She didn't want to be touched. She didn't want any of this. All she wanted was to wake from this nightmare.

Kjell chuckled and followed her movements with his eyes. He saw everything and calculated it in his head. "Loki's whore, afraid of me?"

"I..." Maija swallowed convulsively, eyes wide with fright. "He was my first."

"Even better." Kjell conceded with a lecherous grin. He moved closer and pinned the woman who insisted on shying from him, tasting each inch of her skin and moving his way down. No matter that she shook and trembled beneath him, he would do as he pleased and she would come to enjoy it, in time.

Kjell's hands and lips sought areas Maija gave no man permission to touch, and through it all, the girl did nothing but watch her fellow prisoner. If she focused on the misery they shared, she might be able to forget the man who assaulted her. Maybe, if she focused hard enough, she would fly away home like the gods in the ancient stories. Hope was futile, but it was all she had.

Though sobs shook her body, Nancy locked her focus with Maija's. Eyes meeting eyes, pain with pain. She slipped her hand through the bars, reaching for her new sister. She would get her out of here. Somehow. Someway. She had to.

* * *

/ /

* * *

Loki didn't bother to sit when he reached the throne room. There was no use. His rage permeated deeper than ever before, deeper even than when the dark elves ended his mother's life. He would admit it, Frigga was his mother, blood relative or not. Now, his own people had taken it too far. There were only a handful of people he could trust to help him bring her back. The ones who had been beside him and his brother for centuries. Or, at least, the ones remaining.

As they came into view over the series of steps, Loki lifted his chin. Yes, they would help him, but only if he explained the situation fully. They had to think they did this not for his sake, but for the sake of the innocent. Even if it meant he angered them with his own participation in the events.

One by one, the warriors took a knee and pressed a fist over their heart. One blond man, one bearded, and one dark-haired woman.

"My friends," Loki began, an age-old habit that wouldn't die no matter how badly they despised him. "I called you here on matters none too pleasant."

Sif lifted her gaze and glowered at the god of mischief, her equally dark eyes shimmering with hatred. "I'm not surprised," she muttered.

Loki glared back at her and nodded once. He probably deserved that. "The girl is missing, and I need your help to find her. Evidence suggests she has been taken." he sighed. "Before you begin your rants, allow me to take credit for leaving her alone. I had a meeting, but I should have better guarded her with my owns hands instead of entrusting her to others."

The same look of agreement graced each face, and Loki swallowed his anger just long enough to keep himself under control.

"Tell us where we can serve your majesty, and it shall be done."

Loki startled at the uncommon obeisance of the blond warrior. Fandral hated working with him, as they were too different in some areas and too similar in others. Not to mention, if anyone knew of Loki's dalliance with the beautiful Maija, it would be Fandral. He wasn't above disgracing a woman or two, but never one of Maija's standing. Fandral much would have preferred to claim her as his, Loki was sure. To have his utmost allegiance meant the world.

A nod between them sufficed to communicate more than their words would say. Loki raised his chin in defiance and held out a hand as his staff molded by green magic appeared. "Are you with me, friends?"

"For Nancy," Sif clarified, pulling her weapon from her back.

Volstagg wielded his axe and gave a nod.

Fandral raised his sword and met Loki's gaze, the same sentiment in his eyes as Loki found in the others.

Loki looked over these friends and enemies, sometimes on his side and sometimes not. However, when it really mattered, they stood by him and fought with him. He would forever deem them his friends. His green eyes darkened as his pent-up rage exploded to the forefront. "For Nancy," he agreed.


	52. Chapter 52

When Kjell had finished what he came for, he made sure to caress the girl's pretty face once more before he stood. Her fear was almost intoxicating, and her obedience empowering. "No fight," he pointed out. "I like you." He blew her a kiss and leered for a moment, watching her tug on her dress to resituate it over her gorgeous little form. With a smirk, Kjell turned for the door to her cage.

Growling softly under her breath, Nancy bolted for the door of her cage. This man would pay for what he'd done, in every way she could possibly think of. It didn't take long for him to walk close enough. With a rage and fury not even she knew she possessed, Nancy spit right in Kjell's face. "You bastard."

Kjell jolted and sneered at the sudden projectile on his face. He brought his fingers to his cheek and slowly dragged them down the length. The girl spit on him. The insufferable woman not even Loki wanted in his bed _spit_ on the son of an esteemed Asgardian guard. Kjell chuckled maniacally, unmoved by her show of hatred. "That is all you have for me? Pity." Kjell turned his attention to Maija and leered again just to anger Loki's pet. "I'll be back later."

"Come closer and I'll give you more." Nancy raved, tugging vainly at the bars of her cage, "You're afraid of me! You know I'll bash your skull in! That's why you won't come in here. Your father wasn't scared."

Kjell stopped in his tracks and spun to slam a hand against the bars of the cage. It rattled and rang out in the hollow space. "I would finish what he started..." he sneered in her direction, appalled by her persistence, "but I do not bed murderers."

"No. You just employ them." Nancy smirked wickedly, her hatred blazing in her eyes, "Tell me, do they bed _you_ at night?"

A growling snarl slipped from his lips, and a fist tightened around the bars before he purposely unclenched it. Kjell took a step back. He couldn't afford to engage her right now. "Don't try my patience." He left before he could rage further.

"Coward!" Nancy called after him, "Afraid of the insults of a little girl? A mortal? Perhaps you're more woman yourself!"

A choked sound permeated the still air. Maija cowered near the bars still, tear tracks staining her face and red eyes peering out after the man who violated her. How would she explain this to her brother, her father? Who would want her now?

The sound of a stifled sob quickly calmed Nancy's rage. Her expression softened as she turned back toward her cell-mate. The poor girl looked absolutely distraught, with good reason.

Slowly, Nancy knelt down next to the bars separating them and slipped her hand into the adjoining cage, offering Maija the only form of comfort she could. "I'm sorry for not being able to stop him." The words came out in hardly more than a whisper. In truth, Nancy felt guilty. Guilty for getting Maija into this mess. Guilty for not being able to free her or stop the monster. Guilty for taking Loki from her. She was so sweet and innocent. Everything had been entirely Nancy's fault, whether directly or indirectly. It all led back to her.

Maija turned her head to listlessly study Nancy's hands. So soft and dainty, so clean. Unlike her. She was no longer clean, but rather sullied by this war she found herself in the middle of. "He was gentle, at least," she mused.

"Yes. Because you didn't fight him. You did well." Nancy lifted her chin to combat her pain and assumed the position of an agent once again. This woman needed her to be level-headed and a leader. So she would be. She pulled her hand back and gripped at the bars, still infuriated. "Otherwise, are you alright? He didn't hurt you anywhere else?"

There was no point if he had. Rightfully, she belonged to him now. Just as she had belonged to Loki before that. The sad thing was, she would have gone back to the king had he asked it of her, even for one evening. She let her head hit the bars with a soft thunk. "Maybe my arm where he held it, but..." she shrugged.

"Good. I'm glad he didn't hurt you any more than that." Nancy sighed, frustrated at the cage around her, and ran a hand back through her hair. "I hope he comes for me. I _will_ fight him."

"I think he knows," Maija said softly as she drifted toward the blessed ignorance of unconsciousness. It was better to sleep and not think in times like these. "He would rather battle King Loki." King Loki, the man who used her and abandoned her. As much as she wanted to blame him for this mess, Maija found she couldn't. He had been far too kind.

Nancy frowned at the petite blonde. Of course she still thought of her former lover. Perhaps the man she loved herself. Nancy swallowed hard in an attempt to hold back her tears. Maija deserved better. She deserved to be with the king of Asgard. Who was Nancy McAllister to him? His loyal pet. Nothing more. "You should try to sleep." she whispered in the most comforting tone she could manage, "Conserve your strength."

She couldn't keep awake, anyhow. Not now. "Thank you," she muttered to her only friend as she fell into a tear-stained slumber.

Once Nancy heard Maija's calm, steady breathing, she finally allowed herself to cry. To feel the anguish and despair. The hurt and loneliness. She didn't deserve Loki. She was weak and mortal and… human. He deserved so much more. He deserved Maija.

So she would fight for her with every last ounce of her strength. Because the man she loved deserved better than she could give him. She would complete her mission and free them both, so Loki could finally be with the woman who rightfully deserved him. Even if it killed her, Nancy would free them.

* * *

/ /

* * *

Early in the morning, Kjell returned. He fully intended to keep watch until Loki came; the second woman was curious and cautious enough to find a way out if there was one. He no longer underestimated anyone's ingenuity. He trapped the curtain between the wall and his shoulder as he studied the women before him. One utterly exhausted and sleeping peacefully, the other just as exhausted but fully aware of her surroundings. Two kinds of pets.

Nancy glared up at Kjell through the fog of her tiredness. She remained awake all night, unable to sleep because of Loki's spell. "Just let her keep sleeping. Please." she whispered, her voice croaking, "Allow her that mercy."

Kjell scoffed and shook his head. As if he would think of waking the soft, gentle creature in that cage. He had broken her, but now he would put her back together piece by piece, until she was his alone, her heart turned from the false king to the man before her. "Look at her. A halo of golden hair. I wouldn't wake her. Not when I'll have her to my heart's content later."

"Why are you doing this?" Nancy spoke a bit louder. "I told you, _I'm_ the one Loki wants. I'm the one he loves. She's nothing to him." Maybe he would believe the lie today.

"She _was_ something to him." But not enough. He conceded that after days in the cage. She didn't draw the king like the pet did. Strange and sad, since Maija was twice the woman this mortal would ever be. Kjell scowled in Nancy's general direction. "And when I am king, she will be mine."

"Do you really think she'll love you?" Nancy growled, "After what you've done to her?"

"She doesn't have to love me." He didn't expect her love, but he did expect her faithfulness. Maija knew the ways of the Asgardians. The ways of the gods. She would do as he told her.

"Do you really think you'll be able to kill Loki? He nearly conquered earth. What's a band of rebels to him?"

"There are more of us than he knows." Kjell casually made his way closer to the pet's cage, allowing the curtain to fall closed behind himself. She held Loki on far too high a pedestal. "He's not the only one with tricks."

Nancy allowed her wicked smirk to return. "You don't have tricks like he does. Tell me, how do you like the idea of having your skin peeled from your flesh? He'll have it done if I ask him to."

"I could ask you the same. Come now, you just healed from my father's beating. Do you really want to suffer another?" If threats were how she wanted to play this, Kjell could play with the best of them. He did have the upper hand, after all.

"If you wanted to beat me, you would've already done it."

"Oh, I _want_ to." Kjell's eyes lowered to the precious piece of jewelry around the woman's neck. The piece he made sure to keep on her. "I just fear that will amplify his connection to that collar of yours."

"If that was the case, don't you think he would've saved me the first time?" That was true. Her collar had done nothing to protect her. It was only a collar, no matter what these idiots thought.

"Mm. Good point. Say goodbye to excuses." He smirked.

"And yet you're still not in here."

"I'd be a fool to face anyone's rage alone." This woman had brought a king to his knees, he wouldn't underestimate whatever mystical power she held over men. Kjell shook his head to accentuate his next words. Words he meant with all his heart. "And I am no fool."

"You're afraid of a mortal?" Nancy finally stood and approached the door to the cage, her hands folded neatly behind her back. Her smirk never wavered. "You _are_ a coward."

Kjell wrapped a hand around the bars and growled at her, his anger rising to a fever pitch. "I am no coward."

"Oh, really?" Her eyes flashed blue fire. "Show me."

That was it! The last straw. He'd had enough of her taunts and mocking behavior. Kjell shoved his way into her cage and locked the door behind himself, not fool enough to give her a way to escape. One hand sufficed to shove her backwards toward the bars, one step at a time.

With every shove, Nancy took a step back to balance herself. She didn't drop her hands or her smile. She simply let him push her.

Kjell pushed her again, this time harder, but not hard enough to break anything. No, he wanted the king angry, not homicidal. Each step brought them closer to the bars, each step made her smile widen, and he hated it. She didn't deserve to smile.

His chest heaved as he panted out his anger instead of attacking her. His annoyance flashed in his eyes as he pinned her up against the bars, staring at her, eyes connected. " _Why_ are you smiling?"

This poor idiot. Did he really have no idea what she was capable of? Of course she would be smart enough to carry a weapon after her last attack. And she was _Loki's_ pet for goodness sake. Didn't he know she would've picked up a trick or two from being around the god of mischief twenty-four hours a day?

In an instant, Nancy produced a small throwing-knife from behind her back – small enough to be concealed in the sole of her boot – and slashed Kjell's arm, making sure to cut him as deeply as the blade would allow.

"Because I'm no ordinary mortal." Nancy retorted, moving into a fighting position, "I'm an agent." While Kjell took a moment to recover from the sting of his wound, Nancy pounced on the opportunity and kicked him directly in the knee, making sure to give enough force to have a good shot at bringing him down. The blow landed true and at least gave her the opportunity to move away from her enemy.

Her mere mortal strength did little to incapacitate him, but more than enough to infuriate him further. Kjell followed her around the cage, stance after stance, just waiting for her to make the next move.

Turn after turn, he followed. And turn after turn, she stood ready. Finally, hoping for the best, Nancy slashed at him. The blow didn't land, but managed to cause him to grab for her. A half-spin was more than sufficient to slip from his grasp… until Nancy found herself staring at the barred corner.

It wasn't hard to find a corner and maneuver her until she was stuck there, a blade her only defense. Mere mortals should know better than to get into fights with mighty Asgardians. Kjell raised an eyebrow in challenge, daring her to come at him again.

Cornered and biding for time, Nancy did the only thing she could. She fought back. Perhaps, if she was lucky, she'd hit him again. In one swift movement, Nancy slashed at Kjell's neck and attempted to kick his leg out from under him.

Kjell wrenched the knife from her hand and side-stepped her petty attempt to kick him. She needed to learn a lesson, and he would be the one to calm her this time, not with gentleness but with force if necessary. His hand flew on its own, backwards across her cheek, leaving a red imprint.

Nancy gasped as the blow landed. She wasn't expecting that. Her cheek stung and her head rang, her sight blurry before her. After a moment to gather her senses, Nancy realized what he'd done. He'd struck her. Snarling, she thrashed against him, kicking and clawing and biting whatever she could. If he wanted to spar with an animal, he just got the chance.

It took so very little to grasp her arms and slam her backwards against the bars. A roar escaped him, containing a single word. " _ **STOP!**_ "

The blow to the back of her head was enough to calm her. Again, her sight darkened and she felt unconsciousness lap at the edges of her mind. She did calm, but only because she couldn't fight anymore.

Kjell dropped her to the ground and took a step back. He shook the knife in her direction, more as a warning than a threat. He had no intentions of killing her just yet. A kick to her ribs sufficed to expel most of his anger. "Next time, use a weapon you know _how_ to use."

A sharp pain and the sliding of bones against one another was enough to signal Nancy's ribs were instantly broken again. She wheezed and glared after Kjell's retreating form. He wasn't getting off so easily. With what little strength she had left, Nancy turned slightly and landed a solid kick to the back of Kjell's right knee. "Oh?" she spat out, "Like that?"

Kjell spun back and brought his foot down on her ankle, hard enough he could hear the satisfying crunch of bones breaking. Her scream was icing on the cake. "Yes. Better. Thank you." He sneered once more before he turned to leave her, alone and in as much pain as she inflicted on him when she had his father killed.

* * *

/ /

* * *

Maija didn't expect Kjell to return so soon after the previous evening's ordeal. Nor did she expect him to do so with a knife in one hand. He carried it so carelessly, like it was another appendage and should have been there all along. Her eyes never left it as he flipped it and caught it by the handle. None of this could bode well for either of the women in the cages.

Nancy had hardly moved from her position on the floor. Her injured foot lay at an odd angle and blood crusted near the edges of her mouth. "I demand you return my knife." she croaked out, her eyes never leaving the shining silver in his hand.

Kjell only laughed at Nancy's demands. Maija didn't like his laugh, anything about it at all. "Are you really in a position to demand anything?" His steps turned toward Maija's cage instead of Nancy's.

"Wait. Where are you going?" With a cry of pain, Nancy propped herself up onto her elbows and crawled a few inches closer to Maija's cage. "No. No, please. Not her!"

Kjell entered Maija's cage despite Nancy's protests, and Maija could feel her heart speed. Her fear egged him on, that much she knew, but she could not control the extent of her desperation. Involuntarily, Maija whimpered as her knees curled to her chest in a vain attempt to protect herself.

"I'm going to teach you how to use a weapon." Kjell cooed as he squatted beside Maija. The girl stared up at him with wide eyes. Eyes that quickly flitted to the knife in his hands.

"No! Please! I'm sorry!" Nancy crawled closer and cried out in agony, "I shouldn't have pulled it on you. Please! Take me instead! I'll do anything!"

Kjell clucked his tongue in a way that made Maija's stomach plummet. To anger Loki, he would anger Nancy. To anger Nancy, he would harm her. The flat edge of the blade ran down her cheek, cold and lethal except for the belying gentleness with which he trailed it. Down her arm. Across her leg, slitting her gown.

Nancy's eyes skirted back and forth between the blade and the woman. "I'm sorry, Maija." she sobbed, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop this, "I'm so sorry."

The curtain parted and a man stepped inside, flicking his gaze between Kjell's two female prisoners before he took a breath and addressed his leader. "Kjell!"

With a growl, Kjell stopped the path of the knife and tossed a look over his shoulder. His soldiers would not interrupt him without a purpose. " _What_?"

The soldier winced, no doubt expecting dire consequences with the tone of voice Kjell used. The man was ruthless, and those who worked for him knew this full well. The wince turned into another face, one that expressed fear and anticipation.

Kjell grinned and placed a soft, teasing kiss to Maija's perfect, golden locks before he stood. "Pardon me. Seems the fight has found us."

Nancy gasped and glanced to the curtain. Loki had finally arrived. He'd come to save them. "Loki!" She winced in pain and gripped at her ribs, but nothing would stop her now. "We're in here! Loki!"

"You will shut up!" Kjell pointed the tip of the knife at Maija as he locked her cage door once more. His eyes bled black and a furious fire penetrated their inky depths. "Or her punishment will be much worse." Without a moment to spare, Kjell fled toward the fight.

Nancy growled through her teeth as she inched closer to the door. "Loki!" A cough brought the taste of blood to her mouth. "Loki!"

Beyond the curtain, metal clashed with metal and echoed through the vast chambers. Shouts and screams mingled with cries of pain and anger. Wet splashes of blood littered the walls and shook the curtains as they fell. Minutes passed like hours before the black curtains parted and hope arrived.

Loki pushed through the curtains with confident finesse, stopping only when he saw Nancy in her cell. A sigh of relief escaped him as he rushed forward and toyed with the lock until it fell open in his hands. Weapons firmly tucked away, Loki dropped to one knee beside her and clenched his jaw as his gaze worked over her. "He hurt you."

It was over. Finally. It was over.

Nancy sat up as much as she could and wrapped her arms around her beloved. She winced from the broken bones, but the joy of seeing him was too sweet to pay the pain any mind. But, after a moment, her senses returned. Maija was still in the cage next to her. Broken and defeated, her only hope rested in the man she once loved. Nancy sighed softly. She had to complete her mission.

"I'm fine." Nancy breathed, pulling away from Loki, "Go check on Maija. He did worse to her."

Oh, no, she wasn't getting out of his grip so fast. He spent days finding her; the specific stone of the walls in here and something else magical blocked his ability to find the collar on her pretty neck. He wasn't about to let go of her now, so he pulled her to him and raised his voice. "Sif! Fandral!"

Both warriors ran through the curtains and took in the sight before them, Sif with a stoic calm and Fandral with an outraged expression.

Loki turned to Sif first, knowing he must leave things in her hands if he was to remain by Nancy's side. "I am finished waiting for their leader. Bring all the dissenters to the palace." Next, he turned to Fandral. After all he had done to her, Loki knew he needed to do something for Maija. He did not know all that had transpired, but the girl was terribly frightened and he hated to see her so. His only instruction came in two soft words, "The girl."

As if the command released a gate, Fandral sprang forward and slashed his sword through the lock holding Maija's cage closed. His face bore nothing but sorrow and concern for the woman before him.

"No, you save her." Nancy gently tried to push out of Loki's grasp, her body weakening as the adrenaline wore off. "She's waited for you. Let Fandral take me."

"Absolutely not." Loki didn't bother to argue. This was how it was going to be, and Nancy could live with it. He wasn't leaving her side again, even for Maija.

Fandral's gentle hands slid underneath the frightened Asgardian woman and lifted her into his arms as if she weighed nothing. Maija looked up at the stranger who seemed so familiar, like she had seen him before. Her arms went around his neck, holding her steady as he smiled down at her.

"Please, Loki. She waited for you." Nancy's eyes slipped closed as she felt herself begin to submit to her exhaustion. For a moment, she remembered the last time she swooned into a man's arms. This was so much better.

Loki scooped Nancy into his arms, happy to have her near him again. Happy to feel her soft weight against his chest and know she was safe under his watch. "As have you."

Fandral tucked Maija closer to his chest and turned to head out of her cage, desperate to put this terrible place behind all of them.

Loki watched him as he readjusted Nancy and headed back the way they'd come. Whoever was behind this would pay dearly for all he had done. He only needed to know one thing first. "What did he do to her?"

Nancy winced a bit from the pain in her ribs and ankle. Moving hurt so much, but the pain was dulled by her half-asleep state. "Violated her." she mumbled, "Was going to cut her with my knife. The one you gave me."

Loki nodded in recognition of what she told him. He hated that Asgardians thought this was the way to get to him, to violate those he cared about and to harm them beyond recognition. He swallowed before he asked the next pressing question, "And you?"

"Fought him. Didn't turn out so well." Nancy let her head slump against his shoulder, nestled softly against the side of his neck. The silk of the collar of his armor felt cool and calm against her forehead, lulling her into a state of peace. "I'm so tired." Her words were barely audible now.

"Sleep, pet." Loki watched to ensure his soldiers and warriors made it out, as well as Maija and Fandral. He had to repay her somehow, show her that she would be cared for no matter what happened. That she wouldn't belong to Kjell, ever. So many things needed attending to, and he had so little idea how to attend them.

It didn't take long for Nancy to fall unconscious completely, now safe and secure in Loki's arms.

* * *

 **A/N: You guys know us by now, and so you know this isn't the end of the story :D We have more planned, like consequences and a final conclusion to who is _really_ behind this whole plot to overthrow Loki. Plus some relational issues, a plot twist, and a couple cute fluffy scenes. Stay tuned for awesomeness! As always, my co-author and I would love it if you would read and review!**


	53. Chapter 53

How could the man so thoroughly harm his most precious love? Loki asked himself the same question over and over as he stormed into the healing rooms. The woman in his arms didn't deserve any of what the man bestowed upon her, least of all the trauma and injury. It was all his fault. If he hadn't treated her as a pet before his subjects, perhaps they would not see her as an animal now. A painful breath shuddered through his chest.

Several healers were familiar to him, women who overcame their misconceptions to treat the trickster-king when he needed help. He nodded to them, knowing at least those humble few he could trust. Settling Nancy on a flat, cold table took almost as much will-power as not murdering every man in the way between him and his woman.

The feeling of a flat surface against her back roused Nancy from her slumber. She groaned from the pain in her ribs and ankle, then winced as light fingers began working over her bones. Slowly, she opened her eyes and watched as thousands of golden stars twinkled above her, mimicking her appearance. There was only one place she could be: the healing room.

Nancy turned her head slightly to glance at Loki, standing ever faithful by her side. She didn't care what everyone else thought of him. Let them think him a monster. To her, he was a hero. With a soft smile, she croaked out, "You'll get tired of bringing me here." Really. This was her second time in less than two months.

"Shush. I will not, because this is our last visit for a long while." Loki stroked his fingers gently through her hair. At least he could bring that small comfort to her, since he could not yet correct the situation.

"Until another guard attacks me." Nancy mumbled under her breath, closing her eyes again. With a sigh, she spoke louder, "I walked right into that one, too. I _let_ them take me."

"Let them?" Loki's fingers stopped and he raised his eyes to meet hers. Why would she do that? It seemed futile. "If you allowed them to take you, where did all the blood come from?"

"Well, it was either go willingly and leave a trail or have them knock me out and leave nothing." She shrugged softly, then winced again as a pain began in her ribs. A young healer clad in blue and gold slowly ran a hand over Nancy's torso, mending the broken bones and moving them back into their proper places.

His fingers began to stroke again as Loki gave a relieved chuckle. He thought her hurt beyond repair, but here she had only put a plan into place and executed it perfectly. "My clever girl." She might hate him, but Loki cared not as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "You were very brave."

Nancy took a shallow breath and lifted her chin, trying to combat the pain. She focused on Loki's words and touch. Only on him. "I was just doing my job." she whispered, trying her best not to breathe, "In truth, I was terrified."

"Bravery is not the absence of fear." He sighed. "Your courage saved more than yourself."

"Seems my training works better on others." Nancy mumbled through gritted teeth. Oh, why did Loki have to have a love for words? Curse his tongue. Why wouldn't he shut up? Couldn't he tell she was in pain? "I told her not to fight him. She listened, so he didn't hurt her." A hissing gasp forced its way out, followed by a swallow to bite back the bile that was rising in her throat. "I never was good at taking my own advice, though."

"You have never been submissive." He could name at least fifty times he tried and failed to get her to submit. Loki rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "You are a fighter."

"Yep." A new pain began, this time in her ankle. Bones slid past one another and crunched beneath the healers' spell. Nancy gave a half-cry and reached for Loki's hand. She held it tightly, her knuckles turning white, as the bones continued to snap and crumble. Something definitely wasn't right.

Even as a mortal, her grip caused a dull pang of discomfort. Her grip was strong, which meant she was so in pain she did not feel her own muscles clenching. Loki's eyes softened as he stroked a thumb over her white hand. Soon, she would be better, he told himself.

Unable to bear it any longer, Nancy leaned her head back and finally unleashed an agonized scream. "Don't you people have anything for pain?" Her words came out in a mangled snarl. " _Please!_ "

The healer in blue reached for a small vial on a nearby shelf. "Here. Drink this."

Nancy sat up a bit and downed the noxious tonic. It left a bitter taste in her mouth that strangely resembled the rotten meat she'd once consumed during her bout of starvation. She gagged twice and lay back again. Within moments, she felt her head begin to swim and her vision blur, but the pain was still intense, only lessened by her muted sense of the world around her.

Loki hated that her grip didn't lessen, only strengthened as they worked with her fragile bone structure to heal her. He swallowed hard to calm his own fears as he stroked beads of sweat from her forehead. "Not much longer, love."

A small whimper rose from her throat. How could Loki love her? She was so small and fragile. So very mortal. Why hadn't he saved Maija instead? The beautiful blonde who wouldn't break. At least, not physically. "Why me?" Nancy finally slurred out, the potion still working, "Why did you choose me?"

Loki shrugged. "Because you fought the hardest." His smile broke through as he remembered a certain conversation they had once upon a time. Before everything went wrong. "Because you fit into each category of the woman I must love."

Nancy looked up into his eyes and forced her own to focus. His eyes were like shining emeralds, more beautiful than she'd ever seen. "But Maija is Asgardian. She'll last." This would never work, anyway. She could never have him. Not really. He would live forever, while she would be left to rot within a matter of years. "I break too easily. Can't regenerate like you can."

"You will not rid yourself of me that easily."

"What? By dying? Don't think you can follow me there. Your people call us 'mortals' for a reason." As if to emphasize her point, a series of sickening snaps resounded from the opposite end of the table. Nancy cried out again and fell limp, panting severely. Tears dripped from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. This was far worse than any flogging she'd ever received.

With a sigh, the lead healer looked up at Loki. "The damage was severe, sire. Not all the bones will return to their places."

"Mend. Them." Loki narrowed his eyes, his rage intensified in them.

"We cannot. They're too fragile for the process. They are turning to dust in our hands."

" _Do something_!" He couldn't see her in pain, he couldn't bear the thought of it being his fault. If only Nancy could be mended, he could rest easy if only for one more night.

Nancy had never seen him so hurt and filled with panic. Not even when he found her covered in blood in the washroom. How he must have worried over her these past few days. And how much he must have loved her. Now more than ever he needed her to be strong. Strong and well for the both of them.

Gathering what strength she had left, Nancy gripped Loki's arm and hoisted herself into a sitting position. "Just wrap it. It'll be fine."

"But, miss-"

"Brace it and wrap it. It'll heal on its own." Her arm shook as she tried to bear the pain sitting up brought her. Unable to take any more, she lay back again.

The healers exchanged a tentative glance, but did as they were told. One placed metal splints on either side of Nancy's foot, while the other wrapped her ankle in a silken cloth. It was the best they could do.

"You are positive?" Loki glanced to her ankle, swollen and misshapen. _Your fault, your fault_... the voices taunted in the back of his mind. If only he had been more attentive.

"No, but there's nothing more they can do." Nancy gave a half-shrug and reached for Loki's hand again. "If it heals, it heals. My body will know what to do."

"Will you be in much pain?"

Yes, she would be. But she could handle it. For him, she could handle anything. Nancy tried to force a smile. "I've survived worse."

Loki brought her trembling fingers to his lips, taking the time to slide his eyes closed and attempt to compose himself. "You will tell me if I can offer something to ease the pain?"

"I'll need ice. And plenty of it." They had ice on Asgard, right? "Those wrappings are gonna make it swell."

A soft smile inched its way onto his lips. She did not realize to whom she spoke of ice. "Ice, I can provide. Is there anything else, love?"

Well, now that he was serious about his offer… "A big fluffy pillow. I'll need to keep my leg elevated." Something with goose down would be nice. Covered in silk.

Now that she thought about it, maybe being hurt wouldn't be so bad. Nancy smiled up at her beloved. He would take excellent care of her, she knew that for a fact. And he'd finally have an excuse to spend more time with her. "And I'll take a ride to wherever you want me." She held her arms up, ready to be taken into his arms once again. To be completely honest, she loved the feeling of him carrying her. Being swept away by the man she loved. There was no better feeling.

With one more quick scan to ensure the rest of Nancy's bones were either mended or wrapped, the healers gave Loki a nod, giving their okay to Nancy's departure.

Loki easily lifted her into his arms and cradled her tightly to ensure she did not move. If she was immobile, the injuries would not hurt as much during the move from healing rooms to bedroom. Oh, wait. Loki shifted. One more matter that he couldn't allow her to believe. "Allow me to address one thing this instant. Look over there." he pointed.

Across the room, laying quite still and asleep on one of the tables, was a slight blonde woman. Maija. She did not move, save her chest rising and falling with each breath. Her tortured expression had faded to calm in the presence of familiarity and the lack of evil rogues. Beside her, Fandral sat at attention. He glanced around as though someone watched, then tentatively tucked her hair away from her face.

Loki smiled softly at the scene. "The healers have, by now, told him what Kjell has done to her, and yet he remains. Maija will be well cared for."

Nancy smiled and curled against Loki's chest. "Good. I'm glad." Maija was a nice woman. And so strong. She deserved to have someone who would care for her. "You know," Nancy turned a bit and grinned up at Loki, mischief glinting in her eyes, "I do believe I have a few new bruises you need to kiss better."

"As you wish." He wanted to leave it at that, but what fun would that be? He was, after all, the god of mischief. "I am quite skilled at kissing things better."

Things were so different now. He'd come for her. Time and again, he came for her. But this time was different. She wasn't his pet. Or, if she was, she was the most cherished pet he owned. Perhaps it was only the thought of losing her that caused him to realize how much he needed her. How much he loved her.

But did not all people, no matter their species, deserve to be loved? …That poor guard and his family. His family stolen, while he was forced to kidnap the king's treasured. He was a dead-man either way.

"I found out something about the rebels." Nancy stated, her voice quiet. She wanted to know how Loki would react. "They're taking families captive."

Loki blinked. He had not heard that, and it changed everything he believed about them. "This is news. How came you to know this?"

"I spoke with the guard when he betrayed me. He said the only reason he did it was because his family was starving. He said he had nothing left to live for. When the rebels captured me, he asked them if they would 'free them'. They said they would keep their end of the bargain since he kept his… then they killed him."

a growl accompanied the thought of his subjects being harassed by those ruffians and thugs. "Then they have reached a new low, even for them." He had to calm down. They neared his chambers now, and if he was not calm Nancy would not rest. Loki took a breath and shook his head to clear the angry red haze from his mind. "They will not be happy their plan failed."

"But it didn't fail." Nancy looked up at him, noting the anger boiling beneath the surface. "That family wasn't in the building you found me in. Your warriors didn't find anyone else. They're still out there. There are more rebels."

Would she not stop long enough to let him enjoy knowing she lived? Loki muttered a curse under his breath. "I've people bringing all dissenters to the dungeons. I will see if the family has been found."

"If they're stealing families, no one is safe. Even your most loyal guards would turn to save their children." Nancy gripped his shoulders tighter. "Perhaps you should seal the doors at night. I'm not a fan of having my throat slit in my sleep."

"Let us see if the family was found." A wisp of green magic swooped forward to push open the doors to his rooms. "Then we will decide."

Nancy nodded slowly. This realm was just as strange and war-torn as her own. What was once valued above all else became a pawn in a greater war. In the ashes of the attack by the Dark Elves, the Asgardians were at each other's throats, caught up in a civil war. In these years when families were called to love and protect one another, brother fought brother and citizens revolted against their king.

"I want to be there when you question the rebels." In her core, in her soul, Nancy was still an agent. The past few days were proof of that. And she would help in whatever way she could. "I was trained to detect a lie. I've sat in on numerous interrogations before. This is what I do."

Loki smiled. Still the same woman he brought all the way from Midgard. Still as needy and feisty as the day he met her. "It is also what _I_ do. I am the liesmith, no? I can detect a lie like no other."

Nancy gave a small smile at the name. One of many he'd been called over the centuries. "True." Liesmith, god of mischief, silver tongue. None of that mattered to her. To Nancy, he was only Loki. So wonderfully, beautifully Loki. "I just want to help in whatever way I can."

Loki rested her on the edge of his bed, only leaving her alone long enough to pull his helmet from his head. He couldn't bear to be apart from her longer than that. He needed her under his touch, reminding him she was going to be all right. "I only wish you to heal at this juncture. We can do nothing but wait until dissenters are jailed."

Nancy settled back into the pillows and frowned at him. All this betrayal and violence. It reminded her so much of the day HYDRA attacked. "Are you sure you want to share your bed with me? I won't be sleeping much." She shook her head sadly and sighed. Loki would need his sleep now more than ever. He was king and needed a clear, level head to deal with this mess. "Especially with that curse on me."

"I doubt I will sleep much, either." He shrugged a shoulder. "And I _do_ remember a promise you made to let me kiss your wounds better..."

"Yes." That was true. She did promise that. And now… she was finally ready to trust him with her whole heart. With a soft smile, Nancy held her hand out to him. "But please be careful. My ribs still hurt. And watch my ankle. I don't want it to shatter more."

He removed his hands once more to pull his armor away from him and dispose of it against the wall. Left only in his tunic and trousers, Loki crawled onto the bed beside her. His gaze roved over her, everything he always wanted just inches from him. "I shall treat you as porcelain," he promised. His lips started with a cut barely healing against the edge of her brow. So small and seemingly insignificant, but he knew those wounds often hurt the worst. Healing kisses rained down on her from his lips. Against every bruise on her beautiful face. Over every wound and scar on her shoulder... arms... legs. Loki looked up at her. "Shall I continue?"

Nancy closed her eyes as she felt his kisses softly trail over her. When he stopped, she opened her eyes again and gazed up at him. Even in the dim light of the room, she could still see his eyes. Where shadows had darkened his features before, now there was only light and kindness and love. She slowly reached up and tangled her fingers in his wavy locks, making them hang in strings around his face. "Yes. Make me forget what happened to me."

Loki looked back down to the task at hand, brushing a kiss against her foot, then the other, until he came to her wounded ankle. With a cautious touch, he summoned his inner Jotun and brushed his icy finger against the heated swelling. Hopefully, that would calm it for a bit. He couldn't get enough of her sweet skin under his lips, and with ease he moved up her leg and along her ribs. Every bruise on her back deserved equal attention, but he did not know how to ask that of her. Not now, not after everything she'd gone through.

As Nancy let her dress drop to the floor, she studied Loki intently. She knew that look by now. He wanted something. He was usually so forward with his requests. Why did he hesitate now? "What is it?"

"How badly do the wounds on the back of your torso and legs hurt?" Loki shot her a coy glance, hoping she understood he could never mean her harm.

Now, that was taking it a step too far. Surely he knew what it would trigger. Nancy blushed intensely and nervously toyed with the sheets. "Um… they do hurt. But…" She took a deep breath. It was now or never. She knew he would never hurt her and definitely not as that guard had done. "Just… let me know it's _you_ kissing me. Speak to me the entire time. I don't want to remember him."

Slowly, taking extra care with her wounded ankle, Nancy turned over. She winced and whimpered softly as her foot came in contact with the bed, but otherwise relaxed into the pillows. "Remind me it's you, Loki."

"I will not harm you." Though her whimper almost broke him, Loki knew he must be strong in her weaknesses. His fingers stroked gently down her back, over the soft silk of the dress she wore. Even without seeing them, he knew where each bruise and cut sat under his sensitive touch. A kiss to each seemed too little to repay all she went through on his behalf, but tonight it was all he had. That, and the sweet nothings he whispered to remind her who eased her pain.

Nancy's eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. At his words. The best part was knowing he meant all of it. He might have been a 'liesmith', but never to her. Not once had he ever lied to her. Every promise he made, he kept. Every word toward her was the truth. He really did think her as beautiful as he claimed. And nothing was better than knowing not only was he her lover now, but also her very best friend.

As he finished kissing the backs of her legs, Nancy turned back over again, still careful to mind her ankle. "Come here." she whispered, taking his hand in her own. "You have one place yet to kiss." With a smile, Nancy pulled him to her and wrapped her arms around him. The kiss they shared was deeper and far more passionate than any they had given. More priceless than even the time he first taught her to kiss. She was his… and he, hers.

Loki smiled at her soft enthusiasm and leaned into the kiss. Now was not the time to remind her he wanted her. Now was the time to remind her that he would always be there for her, that he would not harm her. That he would protect her, no matter the cost. At this angle, it was difficult to convey that in a simple kiss, and so Loki tossed one leg to her other side and straddled her waist. It took more restraint than he was willing to admit.

Then, in a moment, he was on top of her. Nancy gasped and pulled away, hovering her face near his. "I do want this. I do." And no fear would stop her. If he wanted to be rid of her, he would've sent her away by now. And even if he still did, what would it matter? Tomorrow was tomorrow and today, today. Here and now, in this moment, they were together. They were one. And she wouldn't lose this moment to her outrageous fears again. "Let's just do this, okay? I _want_ it. I want _you_."

Loki rested a hand on each of her bruised cheeks and leaned down to kiss her forehead. He had waited so long for this, and he would not let their first time together fall short of all her expectations. "I will make you forget all others." Another promise he intended to keep soared from his lips. With a small smile, Loki moved his kisses down her face and toward her neck. He fully intended to keep all his promises to her.

And just like that, all fear slipped away. Every dream, every desire, everything she ever wanted was here, in this moment. _He_ was everything she ever wanted… and so much more.


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: The authors have elected to allow your imaginations to come up with what happened between Nancy and Loki. It's not that we don't want you to get what you want, it's that we think maybe it'll be better if you have to imagine it and gather from suggestions what happened. (If you want to write and tell us what you think happened, we welcome comments and/or PMs.) Thanks for reading so diligently and please stay tuned because there's so much more to come!**

Well, she'd admit it. Loki definitely lived up to his reputation. Perhaps he was the fabled lover all women ran to after all. With a contented sigh, Nancy snuggled closer to Loki, twining her fingers with his. "Oh, I love you, Loki. So much."

Loki nuzzled against her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of satisfied woman. His lips trailed up to press a kiss to that sensitive spot just behind her ear. She seemed to like it, as he had diligently discovered in the past few hours. "And I believe I love you, pet."

"Do you?" She ran her fingers back through his hair, still damp with his sweat. "How do you know?"

He couldn't help but trail his kisses down to her collarbone, lavishing each inch of exposed skin with as much love and care as he had during their interlude. "I've never felt this way before."

"Never? Not with any of the women you've courted?"

"Maija came close." Loki's gaze lifted, all light and green glow, to meet her gaze. She must know this came from his heart, because he pride would not allow him to admit it. "But, no."

Nancy met his gaze and smiled softly. He finally admitted he loved her. It took a lot for him to say it, but it meant the world to her. He loved her. "Does it feel how you thought it would?"

"Better." Loki splayed his hands over her hips and pulled her against him. Holding her close was a luxury he thought he had lost only hours ago, and not he had the privilege of experiencing it again. Never again would he take her for granted.

Nancy giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm glad. And I'm glad you kidnapped me. It wasn't even all that long ago, but it feels like forever." So much had changed since her first few days here. They'd both grown so much. And had grown so close. Everything she'd gone through – every pain and torture, every day of starvation and humiliation – everything was worth it, now that she had him.

"Oh, I knew you would be worth it." Loki laughed lightheartedly, the first time that happened since before his mother's death.

As though fate knew he was happy, a knock on his doors interrupted their interlude.

Loki slid down along her front and dropped his head to her stomach. Could he not have one moment of happiness as king? He almost wished to go back to the carefree, spoiled prince he had been before all this. A sigh slipped through his lips. "Rotten timing."

Nancy glanced up at the doors with a frown, then glanced down to her lover. She wrapped one strand of his hair around her finger and watched it slowly uncoil again. "Make them go away."

"I wish I could." Loki lifted his head to shoot her an apologetic glance. She was so beautiful, laying there before him, laid bare and vulnerable for his taking. Another sigh teased his lips. If he did not do something immediately, he would listen to her pleas to forego his duties. Loki glanced over his shoulder toward the doors. "Enter!"

Wait! She wasn't dressed! Nancy scrambled to pull the covers over them again, barely having time to cover Loki's bottom half before the doors burst open. She used a pillow to cover her upper half a moment too late. Thankfully, Loki proved to be a perfect cover for her lower parts.

A guard opened the door and bowed low, keeping his eyes respectfully downcast. He knew better than to look upon the lover of a king. Especially this king. "Many have returned with prisoners. And Kjell is talking again."

"Kjell is talking?" Nancy scoffed, trying to hide her embarrassment. "Wonderful. He should be muzzled. Tightly." She hated that man. Let him suffer a while to see what it feels like.

Loki laughed at her adamant judgment. There was a proper way to go about these things, but her feisty need to be in control brought a smile to his lips nonetheless. "Bring him to the throne room."

The guard bowed again, his eyes still religiously studying the floor as though the secrets of the universe could be unearthed there. He backed out the doors and shut them, then turned to carry out the king's orders.

Loki lifted Nancy's hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles one... by... one. "Come with me."

It was a command, but it was laced with sweetness. How could she refuse? Besides, he was giving her what she wanted, a chance to help. "Okay. Help me get dressed?"

Loki smiled at her and kissed her stomach before he slid off the bed to grab her a dress. The wardrobe provided one similar to that which he shed from her just a while ago. He smiled in remembrance as he brought it to the bed and helped her slip into it.

Armoring himself proved much easier. A flick of the wrist sent it into place easily, and he reached behind him to settle his helmet on his head. Now that all that had been completed, he breathed a deep breath and gently swept Nancy into his arms. She felt so right there, the perfect weight against his chest.

Nancy wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her head against his. "You know, I'm going to need a bath later." she mused, "It has been a couple days. But, I'll need some help. With my ankle and all."

"Haven't you heard? Baths are my specialty." Loki smirked and started out of the room. She had no idea what he could do given different situations. "But do not expect me to keep my hands off you." Now that the floodgates had opened, he wanted nothing more than to spend all his time with her.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Nancy laughed. "It might get awkward, though. I'll have one foot sticking out of the tub."

Loki grinned. She knew better than to toy with his mischievous side. His lips dropped down by her ear, ghosting over its shell as he whispered, "You've not seen all of my tricks."

"No. I haven't." Wait. Tricks. _He's not the only one with tricks_. The rebels had magic, too. "That reminds me. Kjell said something about tricks. Be careful. He might know magic, too."

"I've safeguarded against such a thing. He will not bother us with magic."

"Does he know about the safeguards?"

He smirked. "Of course not. Take away his opportunity to show his hand? Tsk, tsk, pet. I thought you knew me better than that."

"I do. But, I'm just wondering if there's any way at all he could've found out about your counter-measures and can now counter them himself."

"Very slight." Loki nodded his head. She was concerned, and she had every reason to be with the way she had been treated these past weeks. "I see your point. I will remain on guard."

"Thank you. I'm just speaking from experience, master. I've been here before. Held at gunpoint and told to choose a side." That day left a scar in her memory she couldn't erase. The day her whole world collapsed. "Rebels are horrible creatures."

"Yes. I am aware." All too soon, they arrived at the throne room door, ominous and foreboding before them. "Are you ready?"

Nancy lifted her chin and sat up straighter. This time, she had the home-field advantage. And, this time, she had Loki by her side. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with. A smirk spread across her features. "Let's go make a grown man cry."

"I will never understand your sayings." Loki shook his head with a soft laugh, then schooled his features to step through the opening door. He didn't expect the rage that welled up in him at just the sight of the man's glare. How dare he make himself out to be the victim, when he was so obviously the villain in this tale.

Loki didn't deem to acknowledge the man, focusing solely on Nancy's comfort instead. He kept his gaze forward, ignoring the eyes boring into his skull. A single, cushioned chair, very akin to a small throne, sat beside Loki's regal perch. It was the least he could do. She was in no shape to sit on the floor, though he did like the sight.

And now she got her own chair. This day was just getting better and better. As Loki placed her in the chair, Nancy sat like a proper lady, glaring down at Kjell like a queen. Let the games begin.

Loki saw her settled before he sank into his own seat, sideways with his legs spread and his spear ominously held in his other hand. He knew he was intimidating. He knew how to wield his power. Kjell would pay, no matter his plea. "What do you have to say for your actions?"

Kjell continued to glare, but his lips remained closed. Only one eyebrow moved, and then only to raise slightly.

Loki glanced to Nancy, watching her reaction to her attacker.

Hm. Now he would choose to be silent. Nancy sat back, calm and collected. "That's fine. You don't have to speak. But I'd advise you to. You see, I didn't get to have my revenge on your father. But I have you." She paused to let the information sink in.

"No revenge? After what happened to him? Castrated and-"

"Silence!" Loki glanced to Nancy again. He wanted her to be alright, and if she gave any indication that she wasn't, he would whisk her away faster than either of them could blink.

Nancy raised an eyebrow at Loki. He had the monster castrated. Good. She would've done far worse.

So she heard Kjell. Loki took a breath and lowered his voice to a tone only she could hear. She needed to know his reasoning. "It seemed fitting."

Nancy gave a half-shrug and turned her attention back to Kjell. "As I was saying, I never had _my_ revenge. The king was merciful to your father. I won't be to you. I saw what you did, and you shall receive no forgiveness from me. When I was younger, as part of my training in Medieval history, I studied a vast assortment of torture techniques. Extensively. Ways to get men to talk." She looked to Loki, conceding the floor.

Loki gave her a nod and turned a steely, fiery glare on the man who sought to outwit him. "Who is your master?"

"I have no master!"

"Do not speak unless you speak truth!"

"You'll never hear his name from me!"

Then there was a man in charge of this whole operation. Loki sneered, revolted by the secrecy and disloyalty pervading his courts. "very well then. I concede your punishment to the women you harmed. Guard, bring Maija."

Poor girl, having to deal with all of this. Nancy continued glaring at the man who'd done such harm. If he would not talk, she would act. And sentence him to the worst punishments she could think of. During her time in S.H.I.E.L.D., she heard of what the organization would do to its captives. That would all be child's play compared to what she'd have done to this man.

In moments, Fandral and Maija appeared at the doors. Though Fandral's gaze on the king was not hostile, it turned to such a murderous thing when it landed on the man on his knees. Loki had never seen the warrior's eyes so cold and calculating. His arm tightened around the fair maid's waist, pulling her closer to his side as they approached the throne.

Maija bowed low, showing the king respect as Fandral struggled to keep an arm around her. As she stood, her gaze shot to Nancy, and a nod of camaraderie passed from her to the king's consort.

Nancy's expression softened greatly at Maija's appearance. How strong she was. And brave. "Here. Come sit on the steps. We're passing judgment on your attacker." she explained in as soft and soothing a voice as she could manage. "What would you have done to him?"

Maija turned her eyes up to the blonde next to her, and Fandral gave her a tight-lipped smile and a nod. Her gaze shifted to the king, her once-lover, seated so regally on his throne. That man, too, gave her a nod of assurance. With a heavy swallow, Maija sank to the steps at Nancy's feet, utterly bewildered why they would ever want her to join on this judgment.

Poor Maija. Still in shock. How awful, to have to do this right now. "Take your time." Nancy placed a hand on Maija's shoulder. "I know how difficult this must be for you."

Maija's wide eyes landed on her abuser and would not look away. Her whole body shook with the knowledge of what he had done to her.

Kjell leered in her direction, licking his lips as his gaze raked over her.

Even as terrible as he had been, Maija could think of little she would want to harm this man. She only wanted him gone. She never wanted to look on his hideous countenance again. "I... I think I would have his execution be swift. Mercy that he did not show me."

Nancy nodded her understanding. Maija – beautiful Maija – with a heart of pure gold. "We'll have him beheaded. Anything else you want us to do?"

"No." Those wide, blue eyes moved to gaze at Fandral as though he held the answers to life. "Did I do that right?"

Fandral quickly swept to the stairs beside her and pulled her into his side. His cloak, he pulled around her shoulders to stop the tremors she suddenly suffered. He knew as well as anyone what caused the fearful response, and he, too, wished the man dead at this point.

Nancy gave a small smile at the sight. At least she would be loved. "You might want to take her back home now." she whispered to Fandral, "She won't want to hear the punishment I'm going to sentence him to."

"No! I do!" Maija looked at Nancy, who gave the command, then back to Fandral. Silently, she implored him to see why. "I must stay."

Fandral nodded, understanding. He may not like it, but he understood it, and he would support anything she needed to do in order to move past this.

Loki saw the determination and nodded to Nancy. "Proceed, love."

Kjell scoffed. A glance, more of a glare, from Loki silenced him before he could say anything.

That was it. She was so tired of his condescending tone and actions. Who did this man think he was? He was no more than common rabble.

Nancy stood, supporting her weight on her good leg and using the chair to balance. "You would dare scoff at the king?" She scowled down at the miserable pig. "You know the name of the leader of the rebels, and there are ways of making you talk." Nancy lifted her gaze to the guards standing behind the prisoner. She stood straighter, ready to command. "Every fifteen minutes, ask him again to give up the name. If he refuses, cut away part of his fingers, at the joints. Use a dull knife and cut slowly. The flesh first, then the bone. And start with his right thumb." Her scowl turned to a sneer and she growled softly. "When you run out of fingers, start on his toes. Then his eyes, nose, ears, teeth, limbs. Cut away inch by inch until he gives up the name. When he nears death…" She glanced to Maija briefly, then returned her gaze to the wretched worm. "Kill him." A mercy she would've never given him herself.

Kjell only glared. "I will not talk of him."

Maija buried her face in Fandral's shoulder. Even for a man such as this, the punishment seemed too severe. She didn't understand why he must suffer so. Had she not brought this all on herself?

Loki nodded, considering each detail of the punishment Nancy doled out. He could find no fault in it, especially after the damage Kjell had done. He flicked a hand at the guards. "Do with him as the women have said."

the guards bowed their respect and dragged the prisoner from the room. Kjell remained silent as he went to his death.

"Oh." Nancy held up a hand to stop the guards. "I forgot. I did promise you something, didn't I?" She looked to the guards again. "Flay his skin off before you begin his punishment." With a wave of her hand, she dismissed them.

And just like that, all her strength left her. Nancy sank back down into her chair and let her hot, angry tears flow. He would talk. And he would be punished for all he had done.

Loki sighed, knowing she would no doubt second-guess her own decisions at this point. It was a rather severe punishment, for a crime just as severe. "Do you feel better, pet?"

Nancy shook her head sadly, then lifted it to glare out at the golden room. "No. But that should get him talking." She swiped angrily at her tears, but couldn't stop them.

Loki leaned over to wipe away the end of her tears. She had no real reason to cry, not today. He would keep her safe and guard her with his own life. "There are others to sentence. I dare not send you away, but I shall lift the sleeping spell if you need rest."

"Thank you." With a sniff, Nancy tried desperately to recompose herself. She breathed deeply and remembered her mission: discover the rebels, detect the lie. With a sigh, she glanced down to Maija. If she herself was taking things this hard, how was this poor girl feeling? "Do you want to stay for the others?"

Loki cleared his throat. "Much as it pains me, love, Fandral and I believe Maija knows more than she has said. She is here to identify those she saw during her captivity." The pain in his eyes was real. He wished he could do anything to spare the fair blonde woman this pain. Unfortunately, he needed her to help.

Maija swallowed and leaned her head against Fandral's shoulder. Fandral tucked small wisps of hair from her braids back behind her ears and out of her face, his touch soft and kind.

Wait, what? How long had they held her captive? What had they done to her? "How long did they have you, Maija?"

"Weeks." Maija slid her gaze to Loki and bit at her lip. As though she sought his permission to divulge the information.

Loki nodded at her and tried to smile. She needed his tender care. "Tell her."

Maija sighed and turned back around. "Kjell paraded me to his peers like a prize animal."

Nancy frowned deeply. She remembered that feeling. The humiliation. On an impulse, Nancy leaned forward and engulfed Maija in a loving hug. Her new sister, bound to her by fate and coincidence. "I know what that feels like. But believe me, you're not an animal."

Maija could only nod, all strength leaving her.

Fandral stroked her hair again, gently twining his fingers in the loose strands. He turned his head to speak to Loki. "Her father will not receive her return."

Loki's eyes went wide in shock. Not receive her? What kind of father would not receive his own daughter home after such an ordeal? The girl needed comfort, and where would she find it if not in a father's embrace. Loki growled in frustration. "Why not? That's his daughter."

Fandral's eyes hardened. "When she tried to explain, he called her a common strumpet, not fighting off a man." His shrug held all sorts of tension and spite. He would not let her return to such a place, not at the expense of her further happiness. "I thought it best to harbor her here."

Nancy growled softly. This was all her fault. She'd told Maija not to fight. How was she supposed to know this culture would be so uptight? So archaic.

Loki's rage quickly returned. A true Asgardian would not have made such an ordeal of it. A true Asgardian would cherish his harmed daughter and pull her back to hold her tightly. "He did not refuse her when my men escorted her home."

Fandral shrugged again, keeping his voice low as though it would shield the words from Maija's ears. "You are a king. Perhaps he hoped to place her in your home."

Loki nodded curtly. He did not appreciate the insinuation, but Fandral was right. Given the choice, her father would undoubtedly have preferred royalty to a traitor. "Do not let her out of your sight. We know not who might betray us."

Fandral nodded approvingly.

Finally, Nancy's gaze softened. This was her fault, and she needed to remedy it. She placed her hand on Maija's shoulder again. "If you ever need someone to talk to, about anything at all, I'm here. Come talk to me."

Crying softly, Maija nodded. No family and no home, save a refuge here in the place that ruined her originally.

Loki still bristled at the thought of her father disowning her. The nerve! He forced himself to take a breath. "Well. Shall we commence with sentencings?"

Nancy sat back again, listless and exhausted. She couldn't focus. Not now. Not after all that had happened.

Proceedings took all afternoon. Each man received either a nod or shake of her head from Maija. She couldn't force herself to say anything, so she stuck with that simple system. The men she shook her head at, a very few men, were immediately released.

There were too many of them. Too many men and too many matters to focus on. Nancy tried to pay attention, to tie the threads of this mystery together, but she couldn't focus like this. Her ankle was throbbing and her head pounded. Exhausted, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes, still awake but barely listening.

After the sentencing, Nancy finally lifted her head and opened her eyes. "We have _got_ to teach the kitchen staff how to make coffee." She groaned and rolled her neck. "Is it over?"

Loki scooped Nancy into his arms. She was moments from falling off the chair, if her stretching were any indication. And besides, he wanted to get her safely back to his room. "It is," he answered her simply. "For now. Would you like to sleep? We didn't get much... any... after your return."

Fandral pulled Maija into his arms. Exhausted, and utterly numb from her ordeal, Maija didn't resist. Especially since she was also mostly asleep against him.

Nancy barely nodded and leaned against his shoulder. The leather of his armor was cool against her cheek and helped to lull her further into sleep. "That was worse than one of the director's debriefings. I think I have a headache."

Loki wrinkled his nose and shook his head. Director Fury. A man almost worse than the so-called heroes he commanded. Loki stepped into the hall with a sigh. "That man has no sense of dramatic timing."

"Wha...?" Nancy roused herself out of her foggy daze. "What do you mean, darling?"

"Your director, of course." Loki chuckled. "I think perhaps that bath should wait for morning."

"Yeah." She snuggled back down into his shoulder. "Mmhm. Maybe."

Loki returned to his chambers and laid her gently on the bed. His clothes easily peeled off, and he settled down beside her. "Goodnight, pet."

But Nancy never heard him. She was sound asleep long before Loki entered his chambers, curled against him and sleeping peacefully in his arms.


	55. Chapter 55

**A/N: We'd like to thank you guys for putting up with us through the summer months. It's harder for us to get these chapters ready and up, but we're far from done on this little fic! We've got some surprises in store for you ;) Stay tuned and thanks for being faithful readers!**

* * *

It was well into the night when the pain began. A slow ache at first, dulled by the stupor of sleep. But then the curse kicked in, and Nancy was thrust awake. Immediately, the ache intensified into a sharp, searing pain. She gasped softly and gripped at her ankle, near tears.

Loki slept fitfully that night, though deeply. He dreamed of nothing but what he could have done to save his most cherished woman, and each ended the same way. He stirred only slightly at her soft noise in the night, then rolled over toward her and continued his night terrors.

Nancy glanced to Loki when she felt him shift beside her. She didn't want to wake him, but the pain was just too great. Trying to remain as quiet as she could, Nancy ripped madly at the bandages, a soft whimper finally rising to the surface in place of a scream.

Something shook him, as violent as an earthquake and as frantic as a hurricane. Loki propped up on one elbow, nearly half asleep still, and pressed a hand to his head as he narrowed his eyes against the light. "What's wrong?"

"My ankle!" Nancy screeched, still fumbling with the silken wrappings, "It's swollen! Agh! It hurts!"

Loki shot to a sitting position as reality gripped him. Had he realized how violent she became when in pain, he would have taken precautions. Given her a sedative. Anything to keep her calm. "Calm yourself. Calm!" Loki grabbed her wrists to keep her from hurting herself further. He could do very little, but he swore to do what he could. "Allow me. Ice, isn't that what you need?"

Nancy panted softly and whimpered again, the pain still great. She tugged a bit to free her hands, but he was holding her too tightly. "Yes. And it needs to be elevated. Could you grab my pillow from the chaise?"

In an instant and a brief flash of green light, the pillow appeared under her foot, propping it high above its normal elevation. Loki looked her over, then met her gaze. She had to understand this was not how to handle this situation. "If I release you, you are not to panic. Just trust me."

Nancy studied his eyes in the dim, green light. What was he going to do? Why did he need her to trust him? She nodded slowly. "I _do_ trust you."

"Good." Loki released her wrists and took a deep breath. He would do what he must. He lightly rested a hand on her unwrapped ankle. She was in pain, and he must ease it. He could do it.

She winced from his touch and reached out a hand to stop him. "Wait! Not directly." Nancy knew what he was doing. He was going to shift to his Jotun form to cool her ankle. "It'll freeze my skin."

"No, it won't. I've seen to that." Loki cooled his hand against her skin, leveling somewhere between Jotun and Asgardian, a space well set for icing but not burning. He would never hurt her again, if he could help it.

His hand was the perfect temperature. A bit weird, but perfect nonetheless. Nancy gave a sigh of relief and melted back into the pillows, closing her eyes as she did so. The chill was quickly dulling her nerves and bringing the swelling down. "Mm. I like your tricks."

"Well, I _am_ glad someone appreciates them. How long must I continue this?"

Nancy's eyes quickly shot open again, and she nibbled her lip nervously. "You're not going to like the answer. Can't you just conjure some?"

"I prefer to _personally_ see to your happiness. Every. Little. Thing." Loki would have tapped her nose with each syllable, but he was a bit busy at the moment.

"Then you're going to be sitting there for hours." It was the truth. If he wanted to be her personal ice-pack, he would be there until her ankle healed. There was no way around it.

"Hm. Well, I'm awake now. Would a... _bath_ help your healing? I could wrap your ankle in a cold compress." He didn't like her frowning, so Loki chose innuendo to lighten the mood.

Nancy smiled and briefly reflected back to her life on earth. Midnight baths were one of her favorite nighttime activities. Whenever she couldn't sleep or had a particularly difficult case on her mind, she'd slip into a bath full of scented salts and soak her cares away.

"Yes. I'd really like that." she finally admitted, smiling up at her lover.

Loki held up a finger and muttered a spell to conjure a circular, icy compress around her ankle. It hugged it snugly, but not too tightly, and he checked the temperature against his own skin. It would do. "Good. Because, as I've told you, this is what I've wanted from the very beginning."

Nancy smiled brightly. He was so loving and honest now. If only she'd seen his true intentions sooner, she would've saved herself a lot of heartache. "I already gave myself to you once." she teased, "Isn't that enough?"

"Not hardly." Loki slid off the edge of the bed and stretched his tired muscles for a moment. "I want all of you over and over again, until you can't help but think of me every waking moment." He reached to pick her up, an easy feet with her newly diminished weight and his Asgardian strength. "So... shall we?"

With a grin, Nancy wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned her head against his. "But I already think of you every waking moment. And every sleeping moment. I have for years."

"Then let this be a culmination of all your deepest desires." Loki chuckled as he headed into their washroom. Funny, how suddenly everything had become both his and hers.

Nancy continued grinning. This was everything she'd ever wanted. Every dream come true. "You are."

The bath awaited them already. Baths on Asgard always awaited princes. There was no sense in having to wait for something so simple, especially after a lengthy battle or… other activities. Loki shook his head slightly and settled Nancy on a bench near the bath itself. "Then for Valhalla's sake give me a good reason to go through with this."

Nancy grinned wickedly and motioned him closer. When he approached, she whispered in a thick, silken voice: "You get me."

"Mm. I do like the sound of that. And now you've made me eager. Let's get on with it."

With a scoff that came out as more of a snort, Nancy sat back and crossed her arms. "Well, there's romance for you." She dropped her voice an octave and mimicked his accent, "Let's get on with it."

"Don't make me go monstrous..." Loki knelt beside her, overtaken with her unique scent and just the beauty of being close to her. He planted a kiss on her knee, then up her thigh. Every inch of her excited him.

"Oh, I wish you would." Nancy mused, finally relaxing enough to close her eyes and enjoy the sensation of his kisses on her leg. "Sometimes I miss the man in the steel and glass trap." So much had changed since their first meeting. They'd both grown so much. And yet, in a way, she still missed the man she first met. His power and mystery. She'd always been addicted to the thrill of the chase. It's what originally drew her to S.H.I.E.L.D... and to him. Those first moments of verbal sparring were fond memories for her. She'd finally met her equal in Loki, but missed the challenge nonetheless.

Loki's kisses continued, starting on her other leg and moving higher still. He pushed aside her skirts as he went, the original intent of putting the slits there finally realized. It made him quite happy. "If you want, I will."

"Mmhm. Just don't hurt me." Fully enraptured with the feeling of his lips on her thigh, Nancy leaned her head back against the wall behind her and tangled her fingers in his hair. "I thought we were supposed to be taking a bath."

"Mm." Loki stopped his kisses to close his eyes and savor the moment. Who knew how long it would last before she began to scream and shout at him again? "I can arrange that." Suddenly, water sploshed around them as he settled into the bath with her. It took no more than a flash of a second.

Nancy gasped and gave a breathy laugh as the warm water suddenly overtook her. "How did you do that?" she continued laughing, wiping at the water on her face. She glanced next to her and saw her dress crumpled on the bench. In less than an instant, he'd managed to strip her and teleport both of them into the water.

"Tricks, pet." Loki lowered his head to her neck and brushed his lips along it. Then his tongue. And his teeth. Anything to taste her sweet skin and please her to no end.

Nancy leaned back again and closed her eyes. "That doesn't explain _how_." She ran her wet hands through his amazing black locks and down his shoulders, glad she'd waited for this. If she'd given in to him all those months ago, it wouldn't be nearly as special as now. Now, they'd grown close and trusted each other. Their connection was stronger than ever... and certainly worth waiting for.

Would she never cease her questions and curiosity? He wanted nothing more than to _be_ with her, and she only wanted to satisfy her curious nature! Loki sighed and moved his ministrations down toward her collarbone, another underestimated part of a woman's body. So beautiful, his Nancy. So perfect to him. "Magic."

"There's no such thing as magic." Nancy whispered with a smile. She peeked her eyes open to study his, mischief flitting across her features. "Although, the Norse _did_ believe 'the gods' had magic. It's all just science, though. Science beyond our comprehension and stories told out of proportion."

"All fascinating, but..." Loki ducked under the water as his kisses took him lower, over parts that would only ever be his. His love poured out in a desperate display of both power and supplication as he explored their love with his lips and tongue.

Nancy gasped at the feeling of his kisses on her skin, but moreso from _how_ he was doing it. How was he still kissing her for so long underwater? Finally, worried for his safety, Nancy sat up and gripped his shoulders, attempting to bring him back to the surface. "How are you still breathing?"

Loki surfaced with a deep breath and laughed at her question. Why should she care, at this point? "Magic." He moved her into his arms, face to face, as he settled against the back of the tub. These moments, these sweet, intimate moments, would forever live in his memories. His love and desire would forever unleash itself only for her. But, tonight, he wanted her to have anything she wanted. "Your turn. Make it good."

 _Make it good._ Oh, he had no idea what she could do. Nancy gave another wicked grin and moved closer, careful to keep her ankle far enough away from his legs that it wouldn't be bumped.

As she hovered over him, she stopped to study him. This man she once feared and despised. How brightly the light now shone in him. Not only in his eyes, but throughout his entire soul. She let her lips ghost near his, then dropped down to nip at his throat: the one area he always left exposed... now hers for the taking. _All of him_ was now hers for the taking. Finally... _he_ was _hers_.

* * *

/ /

* * *

Nancy had no idea how long they'd been there, wrapped in each other's arms. She carefully swiped a wet strand of black hair out of Loki's face and smiled, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against her own. Their hearts beat fast against one another as the two tried to catch their breath.

Still cautious of her ankle, Nancy turned slowly and leaned back against her lover, pulling his arms tighter around her as she did so. With a soft laugh, she glanced around at the now soaking room. During their lively charade, water had gone everywhere. The floor, the walls, even the newly replaced mirror across the room. But it had been worth it. Definitely worth it.

As if the whole universe knew how happy and comfortable she was, a loud knock resounded on the washroom door, causing her to jump and give a yelp of surprise. Placing a hand on her chest to slow her breathing, she glanced behind her to Loki. "They have perfect timing, don't they?"

Before Loki could reply, a guard called from the other side of the door: "One of the prisoners says he'll talk, sir."

"A moment!" Loki sighed in a longsuffering manner and twirled a strand of wet red hair around his finger. The guards, and this entire blasted business with the dissenters, disheartened him and ruined all his fun. A king had to do what a king had to do, but it was harder when a king had a woman to love. "Well, what do you think about this timing? What if I wanted to go again?"

She could see the look in his eyes. The way he looked at her. He'd enjoyed every moment of their time together and would be just as pleased to do it again and again. He'd said so before, mere hours ago.

Nancy gave a nonchalant shrug, but her grin told him everything. "You're the king. Do as you please."

"You do realize he can probably hear us." Loki grinned mischievously, unsure whether he tried to cause her to react, or if he wanted to make the guard as uncomfortable as he possibly could. Probably both, he surmised to himself.

"Poor guy." Nancy frowned. "Send him away. I know what it's like to be one of those awkward guards." With a grimace, Nancy remembered her own days as a new agent, having to deliver unwanted messages to busy superiors. Being present during awkward confrontations and out of place at meetings. "It's not fun."

"Oh but it is!" Loki glanced quickly to where her dress was. In an instant, it disappeared. Loki frowned softly and traced a knuckle over Nancy's cheek. "But, alas, it seems your clothes are out in the bedroom."

The guard rolled his eyes outside the door as a clump of rags fell from midair and landed in a heap on the floor. "Not again…" he sighed quietly to himself, shaking his head as a blush rose to his cheeks.

Back in the washroom, Nancy gawked at the empty bench next to the tub. "Master! How could you? Bring those back!"

"Absolutely not. You'll notice mine have gone as well." Loki couldn't help but grin. Games were much more fun with others to play with, and even he knew his lover enjoyed a good mischievous intrigue.

Nancy huffed and turned toward the door. "Leave us," she called in her most authoritative voice, "Tell the prisoner to sleep on it. We'll get to him in the morning."

 _Sleep on it_? What could that possibly mean? What had they been discussing that could possibly relate to the prisoner? After a moment of wracking his brain and coming up with nothing, the guard cleared his throat and called back, "Sleep on _what_ , miss?"

"Oh, you Asgardians! The topic he wishes to discuss!" Nancy snapped, more from embarrassment than anger, "It's a Midgardian expression! Leave us!" Fuming, Nancy turned back around and sank back into the water, a bright blush creeping onto her face.

"It will be a great pity the first time you fail to blush." Loki stood from the tub with her in his arms. It was a bit disappointing, that she had not played along longer, but still satisfactory as a reaction. Not to mention, once more he had flabbergasted one of the infernal guards. They were necessary, but so boring.

"I'm not blushing. The water is hot."

"Love, I know the difference." Loki turned for the bedroom, not bothering with towels or clothes. The guard was gone and if he was not, it was nothing he had not seen before. Loki was used to doing what he wished, when he wished, however he wished.

 _Love_. How she adored that word. All other emotions slipped away, replaced with pure bliss. "Say it again. Call me 'love' again. It's so much better than when you call me 'pet'."

"Alright, love. Pet is my term of endearment, haven't you realized?" Loki set her on the bed, since she could not yet stand, and reluctantly released her. A pity that they had to separate at all.

"I know, but it still reminds me what I am." And just like that, the pain returned, bringing the sadness with it. Nancy's smile slid into a frown. "I want to be more."

"You are." Loki braced his hands on either side of her and studied her intently. Had she no idea how his mind worked, after all this time? "I would never do these things with _just_ an _animal_."

"But am I still your pet?"

"Would you like to be? Cherished, cared for, protected?" His question was earnest. To be a pet, so eagerly loved and held close, was a great honor in his mind. It still baffled him she thought otherwise.

"Yes. But not if it means being equated with your cats or snakes or horses. I'm not something to be petted or ridden. I want to be your _equal_."

Loki laughed and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. " _dear_ pet, do you not know you already are?"

"What? You mean that?" Tears began to form in Nancy's eyes. He thought of her as an equal. After all this time… but, no… it couldn't be true. No matter how much she wanted it to be. "I can't be your equal. You're the king of Asgard." The king… of Asgard. She could never be equal with him. She wasn't even equal to his servants. She was a mortal, an animal, a pet.

"I would not join myself to someone of lesser stature." Loki wiped at the moisture gathering against her cheeks. Women were so strange, sometimes. Emotional beings who cried when they were happy and laughed when they were sad. He did not know how to take it this time. "Now, about those raiments..."

"Join yourself? What?" Nancy sat bolt upright and grabbed his hands, desperate to know what he meant. "Forget the clothes. What do you mean, 'join yourself'?" He couldn't mean what she thought he'd meant… could he? Why her? She _was_ of lesser stature. So what did he mean?

"My heart. My soul. Me. I would never dream of someone who was not my equal."

"But... that term..." Nancy shook her head slowly and released his hands. "I'm sorry. I misunderstood."

Loki sank to his knees on the floor beside her, taking her hands into his to hold her firmly. His voice lowered, a gentle, soothing tone seeped into it. He wanted only to understand her and her hopes and dreams. "Explain to me, love. What thought you?"

Nancy turned her face away, her tears flowing freely. She'd been so stupid. Of course he hadn't meant what she'd thought. She'd overanalyzed again and made herself look like an idiot in the process.

She turned her face back and forced a smile. He deserved some sort of explanation, after all. With a breath to calm herself, Nancy choked out, "On Earth, 'to join oneself' is a term that means... 'to wed'."

"Oh, pet." Loki wiped away her tears again. Now he understood. Now he knew, what her brain thought of this. "I did not mean to cause you distress."

Nancy glanced away again, giving a half-hearted shrug. "I just misunderstood you is all. Forgive me."

"No. Forgive _me_. I should not have been so careless. I do love you. I do." Loki swallowed. She didn't understand the fears that swirled just beyond his calm exterior. Perhaps she never would, but he wished she would. "One of your Midgardians once called me a... how did she say it? Ah, yes. A commitment phobe." He attempted a lighthearted smile.

Nancy chuckled softly at his attempt to use her own 'Midgardian' slang. And it did make sense… his fear of commitment. All his years of getting whatever he wanted as a prince… he probably got bored easily and hopped from one thing to another, women included. After he got bored with her, she'd be thrown away like all the rest. Like he threw away Maija after their one-night stand.

"It's fine." Nancy finally stated after a moment, her voice still wavering. "I know you need to marry an Asgardian. I'm just glad to have you while I still do."

Except, that wasn't it at all. She didn't understand how frightening the thought of marriage was to him. What if he became like his Jotun father and left a child out in the cold? What if he became like Odin and neglected one son to the favor of the other? Would marriage change him for the worse? Loki sighed, having no way to express this to Nancy. "Sleep, then?"

"No." In that moment, Nancy wanted nothing more than to pull him down on top of her and have her way with him. He was hers right now and no one else's. "I don't want to sleep yet." She kissed him passionately, her love and desire pouring into the kiss.

Loki pressed against her, easily giving in to her passion and emotion. He wanted more, too. He wanted to hold her always, to love her eternally. He never wanted that with a woman before, and it caused him to return the kiss with extra fervor. "Again? So soon?"

But Nancy knew he was exhausted, especially after the day they'd had yesterday. And today would prove to be that much worse if they didn't sleep. "I just wanted to kiss you." Oh, but how she wanted him. She gazed up into his eyes, wanting nothing more than to stare into them forever. How she wished he had wanted to marry her. That she was truly his equal. Not his pet or consort, but _equal_ in every way; forever his, and he forever hers.

Loki smiled at her and traced a finger over her fine, statuesque neck before he cupped it in his palm. He leaned closer to her. "Then by all means, _kiss_ me."

Nancy kissed him as ferverently as she could, her every move claiming him and telling him how much she wanted him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her fingers in his hair, still cool and damp from their bath.

Loki pulled her firmly against him, careful of her injured ankle. Tonight, they belonged to each other, and wherever she wanted to take this little soiree, he would follow. Tonight, he wanted nothing more than her kisses and her words of love, because he knew she meant them.

"I am yours, forever." Nancy panted, finally pulling away and leaning her forehead against his. "Pet. Friend. Lover. Whatever you want me to be." _As long as I get you, I_ _'m happy._

"All of the above with the focus on the last one." Loki grinned his most disarming smile at her. "You know, we never did find those garments."

"We don't need them." she giggled, her joy real this time. Nancy leaned back against the pillows and sent her lover a beautiful smile, inviting him to lie next to her.

Loki practically leapt into the bed beside her, more than content to crawl under the covers and wrap his arms around her. "You are absolutely right. From now on, I propose we never wear them again."

"Now, don't push it. I know you're the king, but _please_ don't be the king with 'the robe only the worthy can see'." Nancy grinned and leaned closer to him. "Have you ever heard that story?"

"Many a time." Loki pulled her to his chest, soft curves against hard planes, and nuzzled his nose into her hair to inhale its uniquely feminine scent. "I strive _not_ to use him as a role model."

"Good." Completely happy, Nancy nuzzled Loki under his chin and sighed happily, only peeking one eye open with a mischievous glint. "Because knowing you, you would."

Loki laughed, for the first time in his life genuinely and completely happy.

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	56. Chapter 56

The dawn light came too early the next morning. Too early and too bright, streaming through the golden curtains and sending waves of soft light dancing around the room. Nancy groaned and tossed one arm over her eyes as the pain in her ankle began again; a dull ache that pounded with more intensity the longer she was awake. This was insane. Completely insane. Why did she even _need_ the sleeping spell now? She was obedient! She would listen!

Nancy fidgeted restlessly and pulled the silken covers over her head. Maybe if she tried her hardest to convince herself she was still asleep, she could override the spell and go back to sleep. It would never work, but it was a nice thought.

Loki groaned softly and rolled over to face the other way. She was quite fidgety in the mornings, wasn't she? He bit back a soft retort as he remembered her pain and her injury. With a single twitch of his finger, the circular ice pack wrapped her ankle once more.

It was as if he knew what was wrong with her before she ever said a word. How could she remain upset with a man like that? And the ice pack _was_ helping.

Nancy smiled sleepily and turned over to snuggle against Loki's back. Slowly, she slid one hand over his waist and nuzzled into the back of his neck, planting little kisses on his neck and shoulder as she did so. She was so grateful for this new side of him. For his love and kindness.

Loki grinned. He would have to be kinder if this was how she repaid him now. "You're welcome."

"I'm dreading today." Nancy whispered against his skin, peeking over his shoulder to gaze down at his still closed eyes. "More prisoners to deal with."

"Such is life when one is cleaning out rebels. The guard did say someone was talking, did he not?" Loki hated that they must deal with such things, but she so easily fell into her role beside him.

"He did." Her fingertips brushed up and down his torso as she thought on the toils of the day. "But it could just be false information to throw us off or to spare his punishment."

Loki rolled over in her arms and wrapped his arm over her slim waist. "We must listen to every tidbit. True or untrue." He pulled her closer and breathed in her scent. It calmed him and reminded him of the necessity of cutting out the resistance. "I do not wish to move."

Nancy smiled at the embrace and buried her face in his chest. The scent of his skin thrilled her and drew her closer. "I don't have that problem. I _can't_ move."

"Lucky you." Loki sighed dramatically. He hadn't lied that time. He would much rather spend the day in her loving arms. "I should attend to my duties..."

No. It was too soon. The moment was too sweet. He shouldn't be allowed to leave when they were enjoying each other so much. But… perhaps… there was a way to remedy the separation. "I'll see if I can have my handmaidens take me out to the gardens." Nancy softly kissed his lips, hoping to coax him into accepting her offer. "Perhaps we can have breakfast together after you deal with the prisoners. You did have the mess cleaned up, didn't you?"

"You have only one handmaiden, the one who did your hair, of course I had it cleaned, and there is positively not a single chance I will allow you to leave my presence after that last incident." Loki didn't try to be so stern, but he couldn't help but look at her in duress. She could not leave his side after he went through all that. He needed to know she was safe, and she was only safe beside him.

Nancy shrank under his gaze and gave a nearly imperceptible nod. "Well, I was hoping I'd get another." she mumbled, then spoke louder. "And you plan to drag me along with you? Then at least let me take paper this time. I can't sit through another round of prisoners without taking notes. You _do_ still have my satchel, right?"

"Oh, _fine_." Loki cleared his throat and let the purr-like noise he used to summon his cats erupt. Crea mewed from the top of the shelves. She disappeared for a moment, just long enough to take the strap of Nancy's satchel between her teeth so she could pull it down with her.

Nancy gaped as the white fur-ball dragged her satchel down off the bookcase. "She's been up there the _whole time_?" How could one cat be so quiet? Cats on Earth usually cried all night and tore up furniture. These Asgardian cats were too well behaved. "You have your pets stashed all around this palace, don't you? Your secret spies."

"They go where they will. That is her favorite perch." Crea dropped the satchel by the chaise and continued on toward the open bathing room door. Loki grinned as he remembered their delightful interlude the day before. "Unfortunately, we do not have time for games this morning. Pity."

No time for games. Right. Tell that to the snobbish feline who purposefully dropped the bag just out of Nancy's reach. With a sigh, Nancy strained and stretched, but still couldn't reach it. Whatever. She'd get it in a minute.

Nancy sat up and shivered as the cool morning air touched her bare skin. She glanced around for her dress from the night before, but didn't see it anywhere. Had he dropped it in the wrong room? "Master…" Nancy began, turning slightly to glance at Loki, "Where'd you put my dress?"

"Oh, dear. Yes. I had forgotten." Loki propped up to look around. He distinctly remembered sending it in there, but couldn't quite remember where he dropped it. Finally, he saw the corner of the green pool against the tile floor. "I think I was aiming for the chaise. Looks like I missed." He pointed.

Nancy sat up farther and strained her neck to see over the chaise. She could just make out a crumple of green and gold fabric on the other side. Well, they didn't call him the god of mischief for nothing.

Gathering her resolve, Nancy slowly stood and balanced herself on her good foot, using a nearby bed-table for support. Just as slowly and carefully, she managed to hop over to the chaise, the furniture scattered around the room serving as an improvised crutch. Finally, exhausted from the effort, she collapsed onto the couch.

It took little effort to gather her dress from the floor, but putting it on was another matter entirely. Her ribs were still bruised, if not cracked in some places. Raising her arms to slide the dress onto her body proved painful and difficult. One particular sharp pain to her left side caused Nancy to cry out and nearly drop her dress. If she wasn't in so much pain, she'd laugh at the whole charade. She had to look ridiculous, one arm sticking out a sleeve and the other out the neck of the dress.

Odin's beard, what was the woman doing? Loki watched her, agape, as she maneuvered across the floor and gathered the dress herself. If he had his way, she wouldn't move until she was well again, but he knew better than to confine her. She would only balk.

With a soft sigh, he stood and went to her. He couldn't watch her harm herself simply for her own independence. He rested a hand on her head and closed his eyes. If he concentrated for a few seconds, he could easily maneuver the fabric and the air... "There." He opened his eyes to smile kindly down at her.

"Oh." Suddenly, the dress was out of her hands and draped lightly over her body. Nancy looked down, unsure of the sensation, and saw the dress covering her body. She already had it on. With a smile, she lowered her arms and looked up at Loki. "Thanks." With smaller movements – to ensure she wouldn't hurt her ribs any further – Nancy picked up her satchel, checked it to make sure her pens and notepads were still in there, and slipped it over her shoulder.

With her taken care of, Loki remembered his own state of undress. That wouldn't do, though it would shock the council members and the prisoners. He had half a mind to remain in the nude just to spite them all, but Nancy would complain. He sighed as a frisson of green magic melded his armor against his skin.

Without any further ado, he swept her into his arms. He simply wouldn't allow her to walk, nor would he allow anyone else the charge of her care. Unless... "Do you prefer I carry you? Or shall I summon a dais?"

Nancy's eyes widened and a bright smile lit her features. "You'd let me ride in a dais?" What was this change that had come over him? He was treating her like a genuine royal.

"If my lady so wishes."

"Ooh. Your lady. I like the sound of that." Maybe he finally realized what he'd been doing to her all these months. Maybe he finally realized his mistake. With a mischievous grin, Nancy replied, "Alright. Summon one." Her smile softened and she reached up to stroke his cheek. "It might make things easier on you, too. You won't have to carry me everywhere."

"But I enjoy carrying you," Loki whispered in her ear as he settled her back against the soft chaise cushions. In one breath, he set his royal facade on his face and marched to the door to throw it open. "Guard!"

A guard immediately arrived and bowed to his sovereign. "Yes, majesty?"

Now everyone would see it. She would no longer be a _that_ or _pet_. No, she was _his lady_. She could hear his words now. _Bring a dais for my love_ or _my lady_ or _my ravishing beauty_. He had such a way with words; he'd let everyone know how their relationship had changed. And he'd say it in the most elegant way possible.

"As my pet is so badly injured, bring four of our most trustworthy guards and a dais for her comfort. You have five minutes." Loki slammed the door in the guard's face, half agitated she wanted a dais instead of him and half amused at the bewildered guard. "Well... that should do it." His face fell from stoic to a grin as he wiped his hands of the matter.

Nancy's smile slid from her face and she exhaled as if she'd been punched in the stomach. He still thought of her as a pet. After everything, with so much change… she was _still_ his pet. The look of pure shock and bewilderment on her face spoke volumes. He may as well have stabbed her in the heart.

Loki's brow knit. He'd done something wrong again. As much as he hated making her upset, his mischievous nature insisted on things from time to time. What did he do to her this time? She looked positively crushed. "Something worries you."

Nancy snapped out of it and shook her head. Her opinion didn't matter anyway. Why should she say anything now? "I'm fine." Her voice was nearly inaudible.

Loki's confusion turned to an outright frown. "I do not like it when you worry. Please tell me."

Nancy forced a smile, a mask to hide the pain. "You should've given him three minutes. Five is too long for an Asgardian guard." It wasn't a very good excuse, but it was all she had.

"I was feeling generous. And don't think I didn't notice your change of subject." She only ever changed the subject when the current one aggravated her. Loki raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"I didn't change the subject." Nancy argued, her tone now cool and aloof. "You asked what was bothering me and I told you."

Loki shook his head. She wouldn't get away with it that easily. "Liesmith, remember?" He knelt beside her and leaned slightly to kiss her shoulder, gently. He could not fix himself if she would not tell him what he did wrong. "And you, dearest, were lying."

Oh, _now_ , he would acknowledge her? Now he would call her _dearest_? Dearest _what_? Dearest dog? Dearest pet? Dearest slave? How dare he kiss her as if nothing was wrong. Nancy turned her face away from him. "It doesn't matter." Just then, a loud knock resounded on the golden doors. The dais had arrived.

Loki sighed. No time to argue when they had things to do today. "We will continue this later." He opened the door to allow the guards in.

 _No. We won't._ Nancy sighed within her mind. _We never do._

The lead guard silently stalked into the room and lifted Loki's mortal into his arms. Careful of her injured leg, he placed the woman on the soft cushion inside and let the shining translucent curtain fall back into place. Then he motioned for his guards to prepare to lift. Satisfied with a job well done, he looked to Loki for further instructions.

Loki looked her over sadly. Did he so cause distrust that she would not even tell him what upset her? Perhaps he expected too much. With a sigh, he turned to the guards. "Well, lift her and follow along." He stalked off down the corridor. The guards would follow or risk his wrath, he and he knew they would never risk that.

With a nod, the guards lifted the dais and followed their king out the door.

Behind the curtain, Nancy sat alone with her thoughts. Loki could treat her like a queen when they were alone, but she would never be truly his equal as long as she was his pet in front of others. And the time _would_ come when he'd be done with her. He'd get bored. Her presence would become commonplace. And then he would fly to another woman, leaving her to rot. He'd already done it once. What would stop him from doing it again? His _love_ for her? No. He was infatuated, nothing more. A little boy with a new toy to play with.

As the group entered the throne room, a band of guards brought their prisoner forward. A frail old man who looked more like a beggar than a warrior.

"I've heard you are ready to speak. So speak." Loki stopped at the throne, the morning's frustrating events turning his agitation to anger. He turned to glare at the man, knowing despite his fragile state, the man could be deadly. Everything depended on connections.

The old man glared up at Loki, one eye rolling off to the side. He glanced at the dais as it passed him and gave a crooked grin, then returned his attention to the king. "There are more men like Kjell. Many more. They come to our homes and tell us to fight for them. Those who refuse, who remain loyal, get to watch as their children are slaughtered in their beds. They move in the night, while the king sleeps. Your palace is full of traitors."

While the prisoner spoke, the guards easily settled Nancy into a golden chair by the throne. It had a soft cushion on it, but was nowhere near as soft as the pillow in the dais. At least it was better than sitting on the floor again.

Once Nancy was finally settled and the dais was moved to the back of the room, she pulled out her yellow legal pad and flipped to a new page. Then she rummaged around for a pencil. "Let's see here," she whispered to herself, "Rebels are slaughtering families and children to force loyals to fight." She nodded once and made a note of it. "What else?"

"Tell me something I don't know." Loki tossed a concerned glance to Nancy, then shook off his agitation at being ignored. He scowled at the prisoner instead.

The prisoner looked genuinely surprised. How had the king found out? It was supposed to remain a secret. "Some of them are your best guards. Your cooks. Your attendants. The people you trust want to kill you."

" _Want_ to? No. They fear for their families. If you do not know who is behind all this, by all means return to the dungeons."

"He does not have a name, sire." The prisoner stepped forward, "He moves through the shadows and darkness, terrorizing families by night." The prisoner's crooked grin suddenly spread as he broke out into a maniacal laugh. "You will never see him coming!"

Enough. Loki couldn't take any more of this drabble. The man wasn't being helpful at all. "Oh, take him away and off with his head." He sank onto the throne. If only someone would tell him what really went on behind the closed doors in his kingdom. He could fix it if he had the right information.

"Perhaps he will save you for last and kill your pet boar first!" The man continued laughing as he was dragged away, "As you watch!"

 _Pet boar?_ How dare this filth of a man think he was above her? …Because he was. He was Asgardian and she was mortal. Hardly more than the boar he thought she was. She was a pig to them. A rutting, slop-eating, snorting _pig_. Nancy heard the muffled sound of something snapping, but she was far past acknowledging it.

Loki noted her dismay immediately, and suddenly he knew what he had done. The same thing she complained about since the beginning, the one thing she could not understand. His heart was moved on her behalf. "Stop!" He growled, hating that the man caused her such pain. His eyes never left her fallen face. "Bring him back."

The prisoner was dragged back in and stood silently glaring at Loki.

"I do not understand where or how all of you gained this misunderstanding, but she is not animal." Loki tore his eyes from her and took a single menacing step down, just one stair. "She is exquisite, a woman in all the right ways. She is more my equal than you. And she is _mine. Never_ underestimate what I will do to protect my own from your insults."

"She is mortal. How did your father put it? Oh yes, 'they have no more place here than a goat at a banquet table'." The prisoner spit at Loki. "I served your father for centuries."

Something snapped in Loki, a long-forgotten rage at being compared to those he could never live up to. He took another step and bellowed his outrage. "I AM NOT MY FATHER!"

"You're right. He was ten times the king you will ever be."

"Do not _dare_ to speak of him." No one knew Odin as he did, and no one would ever know him correctly. They would not see the good and the bad, only what they wished to see. Loki nodded to the guard holding the man. "As he has not apologized, make his death slow."

"You are not worthy of your kingship, usurper!" The prisoner screamed as he was dragged out a second time, "Thor should have been king! Not you! You killed Odin! You are no king of Asgard!"

"And shut him up while you're at it!" Loki rid his hands of the man and dropped to a knee beside Nancy. Only now did he notice the sharp wooden shreds in her palm. He pried her fingers open and gently began to remove each splinter from her delicate skin.

Nancy blinked, stunned, and opened her fingers to reveal the splintered pieces of her pencil. She'd snapped it in half in her rage. Immediately, she dropped the pieces and looked to Loki, searching his eyes for the truth. "What did he mean? _Did_ you kill Odin? Is that how you became king?"

"No. I did not. He fell into the Odin-sleep weeks after my return. Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm fine." Nancy looked to the doors, still uncertain of his answer. She wouldn't put it past him. He was a liesmith and had a known grudge against Odin. He very well could have killed him. "Then why are there so many rebels?" She looked back at her lover, hoping he was telling the truth.

"A small faction decided not to like me and have forced followers. Not like me! Can you imagine?" Loki tried for a grin, but it didn't work well. The man's words wounded his soul and Nancy's wounds concerned him as well.

Nancy gave a small chuckle at his attempt at humor. "You still have a whole planet that doesn't like you. What's a faction compared to _that_?"

"They are thousands of miles away!" Her humor leaked into his consciousness, and he thought perhaps she had forgiven him. It brought a small smile to his face.

"Still, it's a whole planet." Her smile was genuine this time. "Thank you. You didn't have to stand up for me like that."

Loki smoothed his palm over hers, gently dusting pencil shards away. Thankfully, she appeared uninjured. "Of course I did. He insulted you. Demeaned you."

Nancy gave a heavy sigh. How could he not see? Was he playing dumb or was he simply ignorant of the entire matter? He couldn't be… he was too smart for that. Surely he knew what he was doing. What he had caused. Surely. "Why do you think they think I'm an animal?" Would he reveal his true thoughts? Or simply try to hide the truth?

Loki shrugged as he inspected her skin once more. "I do not know." He looked up to meet her eyes. Would she tell him now, what he'd done wrong?

Nancy raised an eyebrow. It was a poor excuse, even for her. "Really? You _don't know_? Come on, liesmith. You can come up with a better excuse than that."

"But I do not understand." He pouted at her. Why did she not believe him? "In all the time you have been here, when have I set a precedent that would lead them to call you an animal? To force themselves on you? To beat you to the brink of death?"

Nancy glanced away and folded her hands across her chest. He truly had no idea what he'd done. "Guards talk." she finally whispered, the hurt lacing her own voice, "Believe me, I know. And they twist words, make up stories. Embellish things to make them sound better… more exciting." She shrugged and glanced down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. "You've paraded me around here as your pet." Finally, gathering her courage, she met his hurt, confused eyes. "I _am_ your pet, _master_. Your _pet_. Do you remember when you came to Earth? You made us grovel on our knees. We were _ants_ to you. In the cell… you thought the same of me. You made _me_ grovel on _my_ knees. They saw that. And then… at the nobleman's feast…" Nancy paused to choke back her tears. Months' worth of pain and anger finally poured from her lips. "I ate off the floor. The food was on a platter, but still. I sat at your feet because I was unworthy to even sit in a chair. And I ate off the floor. …I guess, when you think about it, in the cell I ate meat out of a sock, so food off the floor was a bit of an upgrade."

Nancy sobbed and took Loki's face in her hands, wiping his tears away with her thumbs. "Master, _you're_ the reason they see me as an animal."

Loki blinked, releasing more moisture from the corners of his eyes and off his long lashes. Had he really? He never meant to harm her, and yet it seemed that was the only thing he was capable of. "But I never _beat_ you. Never violated you. No one would think to break what is mine..." Tears clouded his vision and made it hard to breathe. "Where have I failed you?"

"Like I said, they talk." Nancy wiped at his tears again as her own continued to pour. "One of them probably saw you muzzle me. Another saw you kiss me. I mean, if a kiss got an apple, what would _the_ _other_ get me?"

"I hadn't ever... I didn't mean to... why would they..." Loki shook his head and rested it against her stomach for a brief moment. "Forgive me." He kissed her palm, tasting her sweet skin and the bitter wooden pencil, both before he stood. His feet took him away from her, to the other side of the throne's platform, where he could wallow in peace.

And just like that, he was gone. She'd pushed too far this time and shoved him away. "Master? Where are you going?"

Loki blinked and swallowed. He would not cry. Not now, not in front of her and everyone. He shook his head. "Nowhere."

She heard it then. The pain in his voice. The realization. "My love, come back. I'd come to you, but... I mean, I can try." In an instant, Nancy stood from her chair and balanced herself on her good foot. She leaned against the throne for support as she tried to figure out a way closer to him.

Loki spun, frantic at the suggestion in her voice. His hand shot up as if that alone could stop her progress. "No, no! Do not!" He rushed back to her side and rested a hand on her waist. "Please, sit."

Nancy sat down again and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Please don't cry." She pulled back to study him, his hurt and confusion. "You're right to have me as a pet. I'm mortal. I'm weak and fragile and small."

"But my actions-" Loki tapped his chest as his voice cracked, " _My_ actions have caused you such pain. How can I ever forgive myself?"

Nancy shrugged. "You forgive yourself for forgetting to feed your snakes. For whipping a horse to break it. There's no difference."

"There _is_!" The tears formed and slid down his cheeks as he tried to convey to her what she really meant. "How can you not see? This... this... _monster_ of events I have created. How can _you_ ever forgive me?!"

Nancy stood again and leaned against him, both hugging him and using him as support. "Shh. You did what you thought was right."

"And look where it has put us." He slid his eyes closed. Anything to shut out the harsh reality he brought on them both.

Nancy held him tighter. Anything to get him to stop crying. She'd never seen him cry before, especially not like this. If she knew the information was going to break him, she never would've said anything. "It put me in your arms." Nancy pulled back to gaze into his eyes. "I don't care if I'm an animal, as long as I get to be with you."

Loki gripped her shoulders and put her at arm's length. "You are _not_ an animal, and I apologize for anything I did to make you think you are."

"But I am." There was no denying it. And as much as she hated to admit it, it was true. He was a superior being. Far more advanced. More evolved. She may as well be an ape compared to him. "We're different, Loki. But you took care of me. You gave me food, affection, shelter. You loved me. I couldn't have asked for more. I shouldn't have."

"I will not argue it with you, but know that you are not. You have never been an animal to me." Loki shook his head and looked deeply into her eyes.

Nancy sighed and sat down again. "Then why did you treat me like one? We're two completely different species! I'm content to be your pet if that's what you wish me to be." Ultimately, as long as she remained in his presence, she was happy.

The tears started again as her words sank in. He knew it now, how he irreversibly changed her perception of herself. He never meant to turn her into an animal. He wanted nothing more than to love her, and let her love him in return. He would never get anywhere arguing with her.

Nancy hugged his waist again and rubbed his back under his cape. "Shh. It's fine. I forgive you. There's nothing to forgive! Please, stop crying. I can't bear to see you cry."

"And I cannot bear the weight of knowing I have struck such a blow that you think so little of yourself." Loki heaved a breath. He couldn't bear her demise on his shoulders.

"You seem to think the world of me. That's all that matters. All I ever wanted was your attention anyway. I got your affection as well."

Loki pulled her into his arms. For now, as long as she allowed him to hold her and shower his love on her, he would be content. He had to be. For her.

Nancy returned his embrace. All this time and he never thought of her as an animal? It was a nice thought, but hard to believe. And even if it was true, there was no going back now. She'd been his pet so long… how could she ever be anything else? And then there were the rest of the Asgardians. What would _they_ think of her? All in all, things were better this way. No matter how much she hated that she would never be his equal, there was nothing she could do to change it. And if the best she could do was be his favorite pet and plaything, then she would be the best darn pet and plaything she could be.

"Pardon, sir." The soft voice of a young guard broke the tears and silence. "Kjell spoke. Shall I bring him in? We have done as your mortal commanded."


	57. Chapter 57

"Apologies," the guard continued, clearing his throat nervously, "but the prisoner is not fit to be seen by the eyes of a woman." He nodded toward Nancy, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"What is he saying? Something worthwhile?" Loki didn't care what the puny little guard thought. She deserved to be a part of this, after all she'd been through. He glanced toward his lover with a wry smile. "Are you prepared to look on him?"

Nancy nodded. How bad could it be? She'd told them to cut away pieces of his fingers and toes. She'd seen worse in the S.H.I.E.L.D. med bay. "I passed the sentence. I'll look at him."

The guard bowed to both of them, acknowledging their acceptance of the prisoner. "He has admitted to taking money in exchange for harming Lady Maija."

Loki nodded, the rage boiling just below the surface. He never meant to harm Maija, not in any way. "Bring him forth. Let us hear this tale of woe."

The figure the guards threw before the throne barely looked Asgardian. So disfigured was he that even Loki had a hard time making out what he used to be. Though he knew the extent of the punishment Nancy put upon the man, he had not quite expected to see him so bloody and open. Without certain appendages and unable to see due to the lack of one eye, this man seemed closer to death than confession.

Nancy inhaled sharply as the guards dragged the bloody remains of the man's body into the throne room. Her hand rose to her mouth as tears sprang to her eyes. Never in a million years had she expected them to _actually_ skin the man alive. They were _Asgardians_. They had rules and laws and morals. She only meant to _scare_ him. Never this.

Loki tossed a quick look over to his beloved. She was too gentle a woman for this kind of torture. "Are you alright? You _did_ order this."

She swallowed thickly, her mouth dry. The room spun as the gore imprinted itself forever into her mind. Slowly, remembering her position and clinging to the threads of her training, Nancy gave a slight nod. Her voice came out quiet, quivering over her words. "I'm fine. Question him."

Loki nodded at her and turned his full ferocity back on Kjell. "Speak."

The lips that moved did so with much agony, and Kjell's words were soft and broken when they did come out. "I do not know his name. I was paid a great sum of money to teach the girl a lesson in trusting strange men. The failed plan was mine alone."

Nancy forced her eyes away from him in an attempt to keep from vomiting. "What did the man look like? Can you describe him?" Her whole body shook as the gravity of the situation sunk in. Kjell was _still alive_.

"I do not know his name. I was paid a great sum of money to teach the girl a lesson in trusting strange men."

Loki lowered his voice and turned his head so Nancy alone could hear his words. He saw how she shook, and the pain in her eyes. He wanted nothing more than to erase this from her beautiful memory, but he knew he could not. "I do not think he will say much else. Perhaps our time has been wasted."

All of this, and he didn't even have any real information. She made him suffer… for nothing. Nancy immediately turned to the guards, a look of pure desperation crossing her features. "Kill him. Quickly!" She waved them away, her hand trembling more violently from the motion.

The guards dragged him back out. The doors slammed shut behind them in a deafening echo of finality.

The room continued to spin as bile rose up in the back of Nancy's throat. She tried to focus on her breathing, but nothing helped. What had she done? She was a monster. A murderer. The same as all the rebels, if not worse. All color drained from her face as she sat there, staring at the bloody streak across the golden floor.

Loki closed his eyes in desperate pain and pressed his fingers into his palms. He never meant this for her, not once. He never meant all this death and destruction and guilt. He knelt beside Nancy and looked her over. "Are you alright? Please tell me the truth."

Nancy leaned her head back, numb and broken. How could she do that to another person? How could she cause so much suffering? Her words came out in a quiet, automatic whisper, "I'm fine."

Loki reached out to stroke her hair, every fiber of him wanted to comfort her, make her feel whole again. He didn't know how. "He has upset you. Hasn't he?"

How _dare_ Loki pin all the blame for this on Kjell?! _Kjell_ was the one who upset her? No. She was upset by her own monstrous actions. "Just stop talking!" Nancy snapped, lashing out at Loki. He could never understand her pain.

Loki jolted backwards as if she had stung or slapped him. He had never seen such pure rage from her, not even when she threatened him at the beginning of their relationship. Not when he had her locked in the dungeons. Not even when she was his pet. The pure agony that radiated from her clenched around his heart and stole his breath.

He sprang to his feet and moved back to his throne. Was any of this worth it? Should he have protected her as such, only to have her fall apart at his feet? Loki kept a pensive, cautious eye on her. He didn't want to leave her alone.

"Please…" she calmed a bit and leaned her head back, wanting nothing more than to simply disappear, "Just leave me be." After a moment, Nancy whimpered and looked toward her beloved. "I want to go lie down. Will you carry me?"

"Yes." Loki didn't say more, lest he upset her again. He didn't like her upset, and he hated that he made her this way yet again. He swept her into his arms and held her close, wishing anything but this upon her.

The cool leather of Loki's armor and his strong arms around her comforted her. Nancy closed her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder, finally allowing her tears to come to the surface.

The soft shake of her shoulders and the warmth of her tears distressed Loki greatly. He never should have taken her to the sentencing. He should have taken care of it all himself. At least he could live with the guilt. He wasn't sure she could. On impulse, he nestled a soft kiss in her hair. He would not speak lest he push his luck, but she must know he was there, whatever she needed.

Unable to hold back any longer, Nancy let the full weight of her guilt pour out. She sobbed violently, her body trembling harder than it ever had before.

It was around the time they made it to his chamber doors that Loki could no longer take her anguish. He wrapped his arms more tightly around her as he pushed through the door. " _Please_ , love, tell me what is wrong."

"I'm a monster!" Nancy sobbed, "I'm no better than he is."

"No, love, no!" How could she believe that of herself? Of all the woman and men, Asgardian and human, that he knew, she was the most pure. The most beautiful inside and out. Loki gently settled her on the side of the bed and knelt before her. "You were far easier on him than I would have been. What does that make me?"

Nancy blinked back her tears and gazed up into Loki's face. She had to make him understand. "I had him skinned _alive_... I was just trying to get him to talk. They weren't supposed to _actually_ do it."

"I've done worse." Loki dropped his gaze to his feet. He could tell her, but it would only scar her further. He could no sooner let her think him so monstrous as he could renounce her. "You wouldn't want to know about it. Kjell is a villain. A terrible man. You cannot blame yourself."

Nancy took a breath and let the end of her tears fall. No matter how she felt, she had to remind herself why she went to such drastic measures. "I suppose you're right. He violated Maija and forced me to watch. He deserved his punishment." Her guilt would do nothing now. He was dead and released from his torment. And he _had_ deserved it. With a sniffle, Nancy wiped her hand over her eyes to clear away the tears. She looked up at Loki again, this time curious. "And what worse did you do?"

"Oh, many things. If it's all the same, I'd rather not say. I wouldn't want your opinion of me to change."

Nancy sat up straight and softly kissed Loki's lips. "My opinion of you will never change."

"Good." Now that she'd started it, he was more than happy to kiss her again. "I _do_ love you, you know."

Nancy's joy quickly replaced her guilt and shame. He _loved_ her. She would never get tired of hearing him say that. With a smile, Nancy wrapped her arms around her former captor and hugged him tenderly. "Why don't you take off that armor and lay beside me?" she whispered against him.

"I'd be more than happy." Loki stood and flicked his fingers, stripping down to just his trousers before he crawled into the bed beside her. He would never get over how perfectly she nestled against his chest.

As Loki snuggled against her, Nancy wrapped an arm around his waist and slid her hand up into his thick, black locks. She studied him for a moment, memorizing every feature. His emerald eyes, full of light and love; the windows to his soul. His hair, which always looked best in the morning when it still hung in wild strands around his face and shoulders. His pale skin, concealing chiseled muscles just beneath the surface. He was so handsome… and all hers for the taking.

But, in all her time here, he'd never once explained their differences. Not just biologically, but culturally. Asgardians and humans could be so similar… yet so different. "Why do you call my kind 'mortals' if your kind dies, too?"

"I do not know. It is ingrained in our culture, I suppose." Loki cuddled her closer to his chest. Why did the confounded woman always want to know such mundane things when they should be discussing only each other when wrapped together like this. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering." Nancy shrugged, "Months ago, you told me we'd speak of the differences between our kinds, but we still haven't. We look the same but... we're different."

"Yes. But we are similar in many ways." Loki grinned down at her. Please, for the love of all the gods, let her change the subject.

"Yeah… but Asgardians are still regal. This whole _culture_ is regal. You've said it yourself, you're gods."

"Can one not aspire to be brought to that level?" As the idea hit him, Loki raised an eyebrow at her. His green eyes glittered with unrestrained mischief as he stroked a hand over her hair.

Nancy raised her own eyebrow in return in a 'seriously?' look that told him she was not amused. "It's a level you're born into. You can't just raise yourself up to it."

"I can raise others." He said it quietly, testing the waters. He didn't know how she would react to such news, and he did not mean her any more distress. He only wanted to do right by her, no matter the cost.

And there it was again. The reminder that he was king of a planet. No matter how badly she wanted to be his equal, she couldn't be. "Yes. _Others._ " Asgardian nobility, guards even. Nancy glanced away. Never her.

Loki sighed and gripped her chin gently to turn her head back to him. He wanted to see her eyes when he told her the possibilities. "You." How could she still think herself so lowly that she couldn't aspire to remain by his side forever?

"And how do you plan to do that?" He could never make her fully his equal without turning her into an Asgardian. There was simply no way around it. She could be his consort, yes. His pet. His friend. But never, ever, an Asgardian.

Loki grinned. She wouldn't like the answer, but it was truth. "Would you believe magic?"

Nancy gave a soft disbelieving laugh. "That'd be the only way. You can't turn me into an Asgardian, master. It's impossible. And what would your subjects think? They're already revolting."

"At this point, I hardly care. And, love, _nothing_ is _impossible_." Loki rolled his eyes melodramatically. She was such a pessimist sometimes. For once, she should let him have his fun since it benefited her, as well.

Nancy chuckled softly and kissed him. If he wanted this and had the means to do it, then more power to him. If she could live by his side forever… it would be a dream come true. "Then do it. If you're sure this is what you want, I'm yours."

Loki caressed her cheek with his fingers. She would always be the most beautiful to him. Strong and yet submissive. And all his. "Sleep, then. When you wake, know that you are not only loved by a god..." he kissed her temple. "You are immortal."

Nancy smiled brightly and snuggled closer to him. "Will you stay with me? Or do you have more business to attend to?"

"I am yours." He held her tightly. At this point, he would not leave her side if Ragnarok began. She had been through much, and half of it because he thought he could leave her on her own. He knew better now.

Nancy nodded and buried her face in his chest. Oh, how she wanted to stay like this forever. "When I become immortal, will you remove my collar? I won't be mortal anymore."

"If I may give you another token so I may keep a watchful eye on you."

"Of course. You can even put the bracelet back on me if you disable the shock-when-removed feature." Deep down, Nancy knew the collar was the only reason Loki had found her in the traitors' den. With all these rebels planning who-knows-what, a security device made her feel more comfortable and at-ease.

Loki chuckled at the reminder. "Good. Then, yes. I will remove the collar."

Nancy sighed with relief. Maybe their talk this afternoon had finally shown him the truth. He was ready to make her Asgardian and bring her up to his status. And, most importantly, she was finally getting rid of the last aspect of being his pet… her collar. "Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."

Loki did know. He always knew what distressed her and what made her happy. This, becoming his equal, would make her happy. He kissed her softly. "Then show me."

Nancy grinned and turned over until she was on top of him. Still careful of her broken ankle, she positioned herself until she was straddling his waist. Then she leaned down and kissed him with all the love and desire she had for him. He wouldn't be her master anymore… but rather solely her lover and friend.

Loki grinned. As the god of mischief, he knew exactly what he wanted, and this was what he had wanted her to show him. That she could, in fact, be the one to start their lovely little interludes. Unfortunately, he knew it wouldn't go far past this. Not tonight.

Nancy slowly pulled away, reluctant to end their passion, but eager to become like him. "My ankle should heal within minutes after I'm immortal. We could dance together again. Tonight, in the garden."

Loki easily lifted her and pressed her back down against the pillows. She was such a manipulator sometimes. "Perhaps. For now, nap." He smiled at her, trying to reassure her that all would be well.

Nancy nodded and curled up into Loki's side, completely happy and content. Soon, she fell asleep, her dreams peaceful, secure in his arms.

Loki watched her closely, studying every feature until he was sure she slept deeply. Only then could he safely take the time to weave his magic around her so fully.

Green light burst from his hands and skin and coiled around her like vines. Each bright tendril wove around her, dancing across her porcelain skin and lifting tendrils of her silken hair from her face and shoulders. It paraded over her form and pierced her skin to crawl beneath.

Loki muttered the words his mother had taught him so long ago as he stroked her hair, watching each miniscule atom of his own genetic makeup merge with hers. He pressed his fingers to her scalp as he continued with the words. The light burst from his fingertips and dove inside her head. It assaulted each brainwave, each single brain cell, until the brightness engulfed both of them and sprinkled green flecks through her beautiful eyes.

By the time Loki finished, the words and the runes had melded them together, changing her into someone who would forever remain with him, not wither and die like her people. Green tendrils broke from his skin and caressed hers with a gentle intensity, until all that remained was a dull glow.

When the last beautiful word slipped from his lips, the light receded into her cells, melding all that she was to all Loki held. His life, his emotions, his passion. All hers, save the use of his magic. He didn't quite trust her to play fair if he gave her that.

Exhausted, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and breathed in her unique scent, now his for eternity. "Sleep well, my beautiful lover," Loki whispered to her. Then, with a great sigh, he slept to replenish his strength.

Nancy continued sleeping soundly, never once aware of what had gone on around her or the change that had happened within her.


	58. Chapter 58

Loki didn't wake until nightfall, when the moon began to open his favorite flowers outside the window, and the fragrance permeated the room. With a soft smile, he turned his attention to the love of his life and stroked her hair from her peaceful face. A soft, fluttery kiss, he pressed to her neck. "Time to wake, little one."

Nancy groaned softly as she felt Loki's fingers lightly brush over her cheek and his lips gently kiss her neck. She rolled over, facing him, and curled against him. Why did he want her to wake? Couldn't he just let her lay in his arms in peace? But then she remembered… the spell. He said he was going to turn her Asgardian while she slept.

She opened her eyes, blinking against the hazy light from the golden sunset. Nancy smiled at him. "Did it work? Am I Asgardian now?"

"Darling, think of who you are speaking to." Her smile lit the room as effectively as any torch, and a thousand times more pleasing. Distracted now, Loki let his fingers work in downward strokes over her shoulder and arm.

"True." He was clever and talented and magical and wonderful. And this was no ruse. He'd never lie to her about something like this.

Nancy sat up and leaned back against the headboard, stretching as she did so. When she stretched, she absent-mindedly moved her broken ankle. But, wait… it didn't hurt. Nancy moved it again. It moved perfectly. Good as new. It'd healed.

With a laugh, Nancy wrapped her arms around Loki's shoulders and hugged him tightly. "Oh, thank you, Loki! Thank you!"

Loki laughed and held her close, inhaling her unique scent and memorizing how she felt in his arms. "'twas nothing. Now... are you prepared to spend the night awake with me? I think you will find you have much more stamina now."

Nancy gave a mock shocked gasp. "You are bold, aren't you?" Her smirk slid into a warm smile. "Of course, my love. I'll do whatever pleases you." That's when she remembered… his promise. He told her he'd remove the collar. Nancy lifted her hands to her neck, only to feel the cool metal and emeralds. It was still there.

Loki laughed softly at her distressed look. She thought he had forgotten. She thought he would not keep his promise, and to be fair he had thought about backing out. But it meant so much to her. "No, pet. I haven't removed it yet. I did not wish to wake you needlessly."

With her smile still in place, Nancy took his hands in hers and moved them up to her neck. "As you remove it, I hope you remove that word from your vocabulary." She smirked at him again. "There are other terms of endearment."

"But I _like_ that term." Loki slid the necklace gently from her neck, letting each silken inch caress her skin as he watched goosebumps prickle. He hummed softly, loving the ability to be this close to her, to have her reach out for his touch and his help.

Nancy's eyes fluttered closed as she felt the collar slide from her neck. For a moment, she had the faintest sensation of sadness, as if a part of her was falling away. But then she felt the freedom it gave her. The gentle breeze on her neck; she hadn't felt it so fully in months.

When she finally opened her eyes, she found her lover's kind smile and the brightness of his love. "Fine. You can keep the term." Nancy leaned close and pressed her lips to his, feeling their warmth and tasting his skin. She slowly wrapped her arms around him, ready to hold him forever. Oh, how she savored his closeness now. This new feeling… was strange and exciting. It was as if she could feel his heart beating within her own. She could sense his every move and desire. His passions and dreams. As if their very souls were intertwined.

Loki chuckled at the almost desperate way she clung to him. Perhaps her appetite for these things mirrored his own, after all. He tucked her a bit closer as he flicked a wrist. The collar disappeared in green smoke, and Loki paid his attention to his lover. He was gentle, but firm, kissing her with all the heated emotions just under his calm exterior. He wanted her. He needed her.

Nancy pulled away just enough to take a breath of air and leaned her forehead against his. They were one. Now… they were one. "What shall we do now that I'm one of you?"

"I believe you began by requesting a dance." Loki grinned at her, knowing he could easily turn that into a double-entendre.

"I believe I did." Nancy moved to the edge of the bed and stood. Her ankle didn't buckle under her weight. She jumped a little. Still as solid as it was before it broke. "Good as new." With a grin, Nancy held her hand out to Loki, a mischievous glint rising to her eyes. "Tell me, how many women have ever had the courage to ask you to dance?"

Loki stood and wrinkled his brow as he thought. So many feasts to muddle through. So many boring nights. "In my entire lifetime... thirteen."

Well, that was quite a few more than she was expecting. She'd hoped to be merely one of a handful. Not one of little more than a dozen. Her hand fell back to her side, her resolve shattered. "Oh. That's a lot."

"Not really, considering the endless balls and feasts I've been subjected to." He shot her a glance he knew she would interpret well. Feasts did not amuse him, not without a worthy woman on his arm. "Althought, you were the first mortal who had the audacity." He took his time circling the bed, almost stalking his prey. She was so fun to stalk.

Nancy caught his glance. Didn't he like her asking him? Had she made a complete fool out of herself? "You don't like it when they ask you?"

"Some, yes. I admire the courage it takes, always."

For a brief moment, Nancy debated on simply sitting back down and retreating again. He hadn't liked her asking him. He'd thought it _beneath_ him. She backed up at step.

No… no more of this. No more hiding and wishing and arguing. No more overanalyzing things. With a quick breath, Nancy lifted her chin and boldly stepped closer. "What about when I asked you? Did you like it then? As I recall, you never danced with me that night."

"You did not know the dances at that juncture." Loki reached out a finger and traced her jaw. So delicate, so fragile, and yet so strong. "And I was still unsure of my feelings."

As soon as he touched her, all her fears melted away. Nancy gave a breath of relief that came out more like a chuckle and leaned her face into his hand. "And now? Will you dance with me..." Her eyes met his and all she saw was his love for her, "My king?"

Loki grinned. The girl knew how to flatter him. "most certainly." Without another word, he gathered her into his arms and began a simple step around the room.

Nancy smiled as he led her around the room. The setting sun, shimmering candles, and softly glowing green lights were all she needed to feel the romantic mood. As they twirled around the bedroom, Nancy could've sworn they were floating. She was so light on her feet now, easily matching his pace and step.

A soft laugh escaped her lips as Nancy watched a table, chair, and pile of books all float out of their way. "Even the furniture obeys you." She smiled up at him again, "You must be a fine king indeed."

"I like to think so." Loki changed to a waltz step, knowing she would move with him. Now they were more in tune than ever before, sharing everything. "But... what do _you_ think?"

Her step never faltered, their bodies moving together in time with the dance. "You are. You're so different from the man who invaded earth. How can one person be two completely different people?"

"I've changed. Grown." A pointed look and a smile told her she, of all people, should know. She was the woman who changed him, made him see things differently.

He had changed. As had everything else between them. They were no longer enemies, but lovers. Friends. Nancy trusted Loki with her life, body, and soul. And she was ready and willing to spend the rest of eternity with him. "You have?" she teased, "Really? I'm sure if I took off you'd run after me again."

"Yes. It would be great fun. Catching you." Loki grinned at her as he pulled her nearer, needing more of her with each teasing remark. "Punishing you. I haven't outgrown mischief, you know."

"You'd punish me?" Nancy hovered her lips near his, teasing and taunting him. Daring him to try. "But you love me too much."

He smiled against her lips. "You know better than to run away. And, I assure you, this would be an entirely different _punishment_ than last time."

Nancy grinned wickedly. "You'd have to catch me first." She broke away from him and darted across the room, laughing as she did so.

On instinct, Loki shuttered all the doors and windows with his magic. If she wanted to run, fine, but in a limited space so he didn't have to wait long. He studied her, watching to see how she would react, what she would do.

She stopped when she reached the farthest corner, leaning sideways against the wall, but not entirely in the corner yet. Nancy stood there, still grinning, as she waited for Loki to come after her. But he just stood there, staring at her. "Well?" she prodded him. No response. Nancy threw her arms up in annoyance. "Why are you looking at me like that? Come get me."

Loki's strong arms wrapped around her from behind. He chuckled in her ear. She should know by now that nothing was ever so simple as running away from him. "Oh, but I already have," he cooed in her ear. The doppleganger he left on the other side of the room dissipated into nothing but fine mist.

Nancy gasped from his sudden appearance, then leaned back against him. "You don't play fair."

"Never." He could make it up to her. Do something nice. He pressed a feathery kiss to the thin, sensitive flesh behind her ear. "But do you really want me to?"

Nancy's eyes fluttered again from his whispers in her ear and she was instantly brought back to the day they'd met. The feeling of his fingers brushing her hair from her shoulder. How far they'd come… together.

Nancy leaned her head back and turned her face to him, one hand rising up to caress his cheek. Could he really sense what she was feeling the way she could sense him?

Loki bent his head to claim her lips in a kiss of many naughty intentions. With his hands, he guided her around to until their bodies faced each other. He never once broke the kiss. He needed it too much for that nonsense.

She pressed against him and held him tightly, far more tightly than she ever had before. Wanting him more than ever before.

Loki wrapped his arms around her middle and grasped her against him, until he could feel every contour against his body. Oh, she was so perfect. His grip only tightened further.

Nancy slowly pulled away and looked up at him. "That would've hurt me before, to hold me like that. It doesn't now." She quite enjoyed being Asgardian. "And, oh, I have so much energy! I feel like I could run for ages."

"I could think of a far better way to use this energy." Loki shot an intentional look to his bed. He had so many ideas, and so much he needed to show her and teach her. "Shall we see how long?"

Nancy followed his gaze and found the bed. Another mischievous grin spread across her face. "Yes. Let's."

Loki's lips crashed onto hers again as he backed her toward the bed. He wanted her spread out and loving him as soon as possible. He was through waiting. He had waited so long for her, and he wouldn't be put off now.

Nancy fell back onto the bed, not minding his aggression one bit. Actually, she kind of missed it, to tell the truth. But now she could compete with him. In both strength and endurance. Nancy yanked his tunic off him, knowing he could handle the violence. If he wanted it rough, she'd give it to him.

"So eager. Have you _no_ patience? We've all the time in the world." Loki laughed as he climbed onto the bed above her.

"You're the one who started kissing me so roughly." With that, Nancy easily flipped them over until she was on top. She straddled his waist and grinned down at him. "Ya know, I think I like this, you under me. For once _I'm_ in charge."

Loki loved this idea. He could watch her above him all night, but he wasn't about to admit that. He grinned. " _One time_ ,love. And if you do anything I do not like, I take over."

Nancy slowly leaned over him and whispered seductively into his ear, "Oh, but you'll like everything."

"Oh yes, I'm sure." His fingers bunched in her skirt, moving it aside so he could run his hand over those marvelous, smooth, long legs. "Let us begin then."

Nancy grinned wider and nipped at the side of his neck. "Mm. I want to hear you beg for a change. Say 'please'."


	59. Chapter 59

Hours passed, but it felt like only minutes. Nancy smiled as she tangled her fingers into Loki's already messy hair. A cool breeze blew through the window and danced across her bare skin, but she hardly noticed it, more preoccupied with his warmth beneath her.

"You _are_ talented, little one." Loki pulled her closer to him and inhaled her unique scent. She was more than talented, she was wonderful. The only one to ever fully sate him.

Nancy nuzzled her face into the side of his neck and kissed him under his chin. "Yes, but nowhere near as good as you. Of course, you've had centuries of practice." Her fingers dropped down from his hair to trace lazy patterns across his chest. "Hm. Centuries. Will I live that long?"

"Certainly." Loki stroked a hand over her hair. "I promised. Did I not? Are you hungry after that?"

Nancy laughed and smiled up at him, the change in their relationship not lost on her. "No matter the culture or planet, all men think about are women and food. Yes, I haven't had a bite all day. But it's night. The kitchen's closed."

Loki grinned as he deftly reached over to one of his two nightstands. He had prepared this especially for her, this little midnight snack. He hoped she appreciated the humor. When he brought his hand back, he held a shining red apple. "I never had a chance to offer your breakfast this morning."

Nancy raised an eyebrow. Another apple? "Seriously? I thought I wasn't your pet anymore."

"You still have to eat." He gave his most disarming smile. He wanted to make things right. That street went both ways, and he needed her to trust him to not go back on his words.

With a dramatic sigh, Nancy sat up and leaned back against the headboard, a mountain of golden, silken pillows supporting her. "Apples, apples, apples. You have an addiction." Reluctantly, Nancy took the apple from him and took a bite. Flavor exploded in her mouth. A taste similar to apple cider with cinnamon and honey. No… apple pie with ice cream and brown sugar. "Mm. This is good."

"Yes. It is good. Hence my _addiction_." Really, when would the woman learn to trust him when he offered things? Yes, he probably deserved her cynicism, but really. She could at least try to act like she believed him once in a while.

Nancy laughed and finished chewing her bite. "I'm just saying, I'm sick of them. But this one is really, _really_ good." She took another bite and eyed him suspiciously. "What'd you do to it?"

"Maybe it tastes sweeter because you are now immortal." Loki shrugged noncommittally. She wounded him with her distrust. As if he would play a trick on her while she was eating breakfast. No, no, no. This was for her own good and the good of her immortality.

"Me being immortal has nothing to do with it." As she went to take another bite, Nancy stopped and thought about his words. _You are now immortal._ "No. It has everything to do with it." She looked up at him, surprised he would give her such an honor. "The Norse myths told of Asgardian apples that were forbidden to mortals. The most delicious apples in the universe."

Of course she believed that. She wouldn't believe a word he said when it was absolute truth, but she would believe that. Loki laughed wryly. "You do not believe my magic, but you would believe a fairytale?"

"All myths come from some form of truth, stretched out over hundreds of years." Nancy took another bite and made another soft sound of pleasure. "And I believe in your magic now."

"Seeing is believing? As you Midgardians say." He bored easily of this discussion. They had it so many times in the past months. Loki sighed contently as he lazy ran a finger down her arm, tracing a snakelike pattern.

"Something like that." Nancy glanced back down at her apple and chewed slowly, thinking about their new dynamic. She was no longer his pet. But he still had control of her. Would he still get bored? And how did that play into her immortality? If he locked her away again, she had no chance of simply withering up and dying. She'd rot there forever. With a frown, Nancy swallowed and looked up at Loki. "So what happens now?"

"We search for the rebel leader. We find him. We end the revolt." Loki didn't see the big deal behind what would happen next. They would move no with life together and it would be amazing. Because now he had his woman by his side.

"I _knew_ that." She gave him a soft glare, then dropped it. "I mean, between us. I'm immortal now. More than just a house-pet." Nancy set her apple aside and took Loki's hands into her own. "What am I to you now?"

"Friend. Lover." A grin lit up his face at the title. "Ooh, I like the sound of that."

Nancy gave him a small smile. "And when you get bored?"

"With the prowess you've shown of late, I do not think we have much to worry about on that front."

Nancy pouted and knit her brows together. "You know what I mean." She glanced away and shook her head, realizing this was all just a game to him. "Never mind. It doesn't matter."

"Darling, if it matters to you, it matters to me. I am sorry for my avoidance. Do tell me what you meant."

Nancy looked back at him and studied his features. All she wanted was to remain by his side forever. "You're all I've ever wanted. This. Us. It's beyond my wildest dreams. I just don't want to lose you."

"You shan't." Loki smiled tenderly at her as he ran the back of his hand down her cheek. She was so fragile on the inside. He must remember that. "I promise."

Nancy kissed him slowly, lovingly. As she pulled away, she whispered, "How can you make that promise? No one knows the future."

"I probably have no right to, and I will more than likely fail, but my heart tells me to do so."

Nancy smiled sadly. Even he knew this wouldn't last forever. But for right now, he was hers… only hers. Determined to enjoy every moment with him while it lasted, Nancy pressed herself against him and kissed him passionately, her love and desire filling the kiss and drawing them closer.

Oh, what a kisser she was. Loki hummed happily against her lips. She learned quickly and continued to surprise him with the way she sought out his attentions. In a single, fluid motion, he flipped their position and straddled her waist. A sly grin pulled at the corners of his mouth. "My turn to do as I please."

A wicked grin crossed Nancy's features for a brief moment before she gave a mock yawn and stretched. "But I'm _so_ _tired_. Let's just go to sleep." She closed her eyes and tried to hide her smile.

"Oh, no, you don't." Loki bent his head to nuzzle his lips and nose against her neck, just in the sensitive spot he knew she adored. "I've waited hours for this!" A stiff, sharp knock on the door alerted Loki to a visitor's insistent presence. He growled deep in the back of his throat. " _Really_? Do they _know_ when I am finally getting what I want?"

Nancy sighed and took Loki's face in her hands. "Send them away." she whispered, kissing the end of his nose. After a moment's more hesitation, she finally released him and leaned back against the pillows.

Loki groaned. Just when he was finally getting his way. Whoever it was would hear of this for milennia. "Oh, fine. I'll see who it is and send them away. Do. Not. Move." He stood and pointed a finger at her. "Not one inch. I mean it." Loki waited until he was certain she wouldn't move before he bounded to the door and flung it wide.

Fandral stood in the hall with an arm draped around a teary-eyed Maija. A look of surprise crossed his face, but quickly vanished with a shake of his head. "Sorry to interrupt, Loki, but Maija has a concern she'll only discuss with you."

Nancy sat up when she heard voices at the door. This was more than simply a guard bringing news of the prisoners. She leaned sideways and peered around Loki to discover Fandral and Maija. Nancy gasped and quickly climbed out of the bed, pulling a sheet off as she did so. She held it up in front of her as she made her way over to the others, then wrapped it around Loki as she reached him.

"We have company. At least throw something on." she scolded him quietly, hiding behind him so the others wouldn't see her bare body. As soon as he was covered, she turned her attention to the others, blushing slightly. "Sorry for our… appearance. We were in bed."

Loki rolled his eyes. They wouldn't be getting back to bed now. Not when Nancy took charge of a situation. "It's nothing they haven't seen before." He mumbled as he flicked a wrist. His armor wound around him and covered the nakedness that his woman seemed intent on covering.

As suddenly as Lok's armor appeared, Nancy grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around herself. Well, if he wasn't going to use it, she certainly would. Finally half satisfied with her appearance, she turned her attention to Maija. "Now…" Nancy began in a soft, comforting tone, "What's wrong? What happened?"

Maija hiccuped a desperate sob. "It is so unlike him. So very unlike him. Loki, please do something. Please!"

Poor girl. All alone and scared. She knew that feeling. With a soft smile meant to comfort the blonde, Nancy approached her and engulfed her in a loving hug. "It's alright. Just take a breath. Start at the beginning. Who needs help? What happened?"

Maija's beautiful, bright blue eyes slid closed in agony as she swallowed to find her voice. "Please find him, Loki. Please."

Nancy's brows knit in concern. "Maija, _who_? What caused this reaction?"

Maija took a step toward Loki as the tears slipped steadily down her cheeks. "It's just... he's never refused to answer my letters before. I find it strange, and considering what happened to me..."

Loki sensed Nancy's impatience and nodded sympathetically at the small blonde before him before he asked her, "Of whom do you speak?"

Maija gulped audibly. "Skaldi."

Nancy finally moved to sit on the edge of the bed, a bit miffed at being ignored. "Your brother? Why do you think he's lost? Didn't you see him when you tried to return home?"

"Father said he had gone to search for me. But he would have returned by now and found my letter. I fear for him. Loki, _please_!" Loki caught Maija as she flung herself bodily against him, a common sign of a woman putting herself at the mercy of her king. "I do not know who else to turn to."

Nancy rolled her eyes at Maija's dramatic display and reached down for her dress. "We'll find him." It didn't take long for her to change into the silken attire. She quickly returned to the others, dress in place and notebook in hand. "How long ago did your father say he left?"

Of course she would ask those questions. Standard procedure on Midgard, or so he was told. Loki smiled gently at Nancy as his hand stroked the sobbing Maija's hair. "Love, there are easier ways. We will make our way to the war room and discuss this." Loki lifted Maija easily into his arms, cradling her like a child as he nodded to the door. "Come. Fandral, lead the way."

Nancy sighed and followed along, her notebook clutched to her chest. How had everything changed so suddenly? With the appearance of this new girl, it was as if she wasn't even there.

It was a solemn walk indeed, with Maija still weeping and Fandral tossing consistent glances Loki's way. He didn't look too happy about it, but that's where she found comfort for now. With a sigh, Fandral pushed open a door and went inside the war tactics room.

Nancy followed the group into the war room, a large golden room with prized swords and armor decorating the walls. Along the far wall, multiple translucent screens shimmered with golden patterns, waiting to be activated. In the center of the room, what looked to be a large light-table sat sleeping, ready to be turned on. Having used a similar device while working with S.H.I.E.L.D., it took little time for Nancy to turn on the system and get it warmed up.

Loki allowed Nancy her space as he settled at the head of the long table and settled Maija on his lap. He didn't think twice about comforting the small woman. She was fragile and shattered easily. Nothing like his strong woman, who amazingly figured out the tactics table quite well. Loki sighed and glanced down at the girl on his lap. "Little one..."

Maija slowly lifted her head to look at him. Moisture pooled on her cheeks and lashes, making her look smaller than she already was.

Loki wiped at her tears, one thumb at a time. "Please stop crying."

A small hiccup left Maija's throat, but she nodded. She would do all she could to obey the commands of her king.

Nancy grit her teeth and tried not to growl when she noticed how Loki was treating Maija. Hadn't he _just finished_ a four-hour love fest with herself? Didn't that mean _anything_ to him? Oh, but now _Maija_ was his 'little one.' Whatever. Traitor.

Fandral caught Nancy's angry stare and chuckled to himself. She would learn soon enough that Loki's actions always had ulterior motives when it came to women. All women but the one standing before them. Loki never really lied to her, not like he lied to others. Fandral saw it all.

Determined to stay focused and keep her head in the game, Nancy forced herself to look down at the light-screen. It was then that she realized she couldn't read it. It was in Asgardian. With a sigh, she began searching for the settings, looking for a way to change it over to English. Three long minutes later, she finally hit the right switch and changed it over to a language she understood. "Finally." she mumbled under her breath, the pulled up a new screen, ready to input her notes.

"Okay, so here's what we know." It didn't take her long to get used to the system. Soon, Nancy was pulling up records of the guards who'd lost families and the people who'd gone missing. "The rebel faction is kidnapping families and holding them hostage. Maija's brother is missing. The rebels are forcing men to join their cause. And what happened to Maija was paid for and planned. How does all of this tie together?"

Loki waited patiently for Nancy to finish her speech before he went into action. Using the arm around Maija's waist, he spun her to face the table and slid his other arm around her to tap a few menus until he found the maps he wished. He set them to the 3D setting Asgard prided itself on. "Maija, kindly show me your brother's usual haunts, hm?"

Maija sniffed and wiped at her tears as she began to pull up buildings and places her brother visited often. Loki's hand in her hair, stroking softly, managed to keep her calm as she thought through everything she knew.

Still trying to ignore the new couple at the end of the table, Nancy began typing her notes into the system. She glanced up at Fandral, determined to be of some use. "Have any of your men reported their families missing?"

Fandral nodded. "Several. We've recovered some, not many."

Maija completed the map of her brother's favorite haunts and leaned back against Loki's solid chest.

Loki kissed her shoulder before he looked up at Nancy and Fandral. "Stop your speculation. I see full well what has happened."

Nancy bit back a smart remark and turned to look at Loki, upset he wouldn't let her work. This was what she was good at. What she had _far_ more experience than him at. What she'd built her life on. How dare he not let her work? "Alright." Nancy nearly spat, a crispness to her voice, "What happened?"

Loki placed a flat hand on Maija's back. A hand meant to remind her she was safe in the palace, with guards all around. "Skaldi betrayed us all."

Maija looked back at him and rolled her lips together. No hysterics. No panic. That spoke more than anything she might have voiced.

Loki sighed and nodded at her. "You knew, deep down?"

Maija nodded back at him as the tears started again. She hated that her brother would do this to her.

"How do you know that just by looking at dots on a map?" It did make sense, she'd give him that, but she'd never acknowledge it aloud.

Loki flattened the map and traced a pattern between the dots. He couldn't believe Skaldi had the gall to try something like this. He sighed, trying to quell his anger. "Because I know what is close by each of these locations." His fingers subconsciously stroked Maija's thin back, up and down in a soothing motion.

"Rebel hideouts?" Nancy crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. How could he possibly imagine having such an open show of his affections toward this woman was okay in front of her? After all that had happened, was she _still_ his pet? Were her fears true? Did he really just want her for her body? No… it couldn't be true.

"No." Loki granted Maija a kiss to her temple. He never could resist a woman in distress. Especially that woman in distress. He nodded once to Fandral, who quickly moved in to scoop Maija up and place her on his own lap. Loki stood to his feet and stared at the familiar landmarks. "Gateways."

"Gateways? To what?" Okay, now she was really confused. How did Skaldi's close proximity to 'gateways' make him part of the band of rebels?

"When Kjell said the man had tricks, he did not lie. It will take time to determine where he has gone." Loki began to pace the room. How did he find the man now? Skaldi outsmarted them all, allowing his sister to become a sacrifice to the king of lies and then using her to garner his attention.

Nancy's expression softened as she watched her lover pace the room. She frowned and cleared her notes off the table, watching Loki pensively. She didn't want to say or do anything to anger him further, so she simply stood there watching him.

Loki glared at the map again. There was no sure way to know where Skaldi disappeared to. He could be somewhere off-world or simply underground. Loki growled at the picture before him. Why must the rebel use _his_ trick to outwit them? "I will need time to think. Fandral, she is not to leave your side for one second. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

Fandral nodded and pulled Maija closer against his chest. "Yes, sire."

Nancy rubbed her left hand over her right arm nervously. She never should have come with them. She didn't belong here, not even as an Asgardian. But… maybe she could be some use to the girl. With a pained smile, Nancy approached Maija. "Don't worry. We'll get this all straightened out." Her promise sounded weak and false, even to her.

Maija blinked at her, remembering her kindness when they were imprisoned. She nodded. If anyone would tell her the truth, it would be this woman.

Fandral tossed Nancy a thankful smile for the reassurance before he curled his arms around Maija and retreated from the room. He knew better than to allow her to stay around Loki.

Loki sank into his chair, legs sprawled wide as he tapped a finger against his lips. Somehow, he must find this man out.

And there went her company. Her only protection against Loki's rage. Like a dog returning to its master, Nancy returned to Loki's side and perched on the edge of the table. She sat there silently, not wanting to fuel his anger. There was nothing more she could do.

Loki glanced up at the woman beside him and knew he couldn't hold onto his anger. She would think he hated her again. He sighed deeply, using the exhale to release his rage. "Yes, love? Something on your mind?"

Nancy shook her head and gave a half shrug. "Nothing. I'm just worried about you." She finally lifted her eyes to meet his, still fearful of angering him. "I haven't seen you that angry in a long time."

"I despise when others steal _my_ means of mischief." Loki huffed childishly. "And I detest that he would do such a thing to his own sister."

Nancy nodded and stood, folding her hands in front of herself. "Would you like some time alone? To think?"

"I can think just as well with you in the room." He reached out instinctively, wrapping his hand loosely around his lover's arm as he looked up at her. "Stay."

She gave a small smile – at least he finally noticed her – and turned away, heading back over to where her notes were. "That was nice, what you were doing for Maija." Nancy commented as she entered in the new info.

Loki stared at the map, trying to determine where he would go if he had the resources Skaldi did. Which world would he jump to? Which culture would he fit in? Too late, he realized Nancy spoke to him and glanced up. "Hm?"

Nancy glanced over at him. "Nothing, darling." She forced a smile and returned to her notes, saving them and clearing them away so she could turn the system off.

"No, no. I know that smile. What did you say? What did you _mean_?" Loki wiped Skaldi from his brain to study her intently. He did something wrong again. She was all stiff and formal instead of soft and affectionate.

"I said what you were doing was nice." Nancy gave another half shrug and turned the light-screen off, making sure to switch it back to Asgardian before it powered down. "And I meant it." she continued, "She needed comforting."

"Oh. Yes." Loki smiled at her, his attempt to reassure her. "I do hate to see a woman cry, as you _so_ well know."

Something in his phrasing caught her off guard. A sharpness that struck her. The words repeated themselves over and over in her mind. _I do hate to see a woman cry, as you_ _so_ _well know._ Her mind found the dagger and isolated it. _As you_ _so_ _well know_.

As if a river of pain and memories had been released, Nancy was instantly taken back to her time in the cell. Her constant tears and fear. Groveling for sleep and begging for a morsel to eat. Screaming in fear of his snakes and wanting to curl up and die. _As you_ _so_ _well know_.

Nancy's breathing sped up and she gripped the edge of the table, hovering somewhere between wanting to faint and wanting to run away.

Loki sighed. He should know better than to speak when she was in this state. He only ever angered or upset her. When would he learn? "I've upset you. I should know better than to speak when I am preoccupied."

Nancy shrank under his gaze and grappled for her composure. "No, master. It's fine." Her voice came out quiet, subdued. "I'm just tired."

"Oh, you _are_ cross. I can hear it in the way you use that term." He wished he never made her call him that. It didn't suit her. He hated it when she said it as thought she were a robot. Why did he ever do this to her? "Pray tell, what have I done this time?"

Still fearing for her safety, Nancy took a step away from him, never once meeting his gaze. What had she said? What term had she used? His title? How had she spoken any differently? "Nothing. Honest." Her voice quivered as her body began to shake. "I really do just want to go back to bed. It's been a long night."

"You are _sure_?"

Nancy nodded slightly, only chancing a glance up to gauge his mood.

Loki nodded back in a mimic, trying to emulate her motions so perhaps she would let down her guard again. He only wanted his woman back. "Alright. Then we will return to the chambers."

And now he was mimicking her. What had she done wrong? Mere hours ago, they were enjoying themselves, wrapped in each other's arms. What had changed to cause him to want to be cruel to her?

Nancy lowered her head and fought the urge to go into her full posture of obedience. Tears formed in her eyes and she blinked them away, afraid that he would see. She couldn't cry now. He'd attack her again.

Loki slid his eyes closed as he berated himself. Stupid, stupid man to think he could make this better. She'd gone into that place he so desperately tried to pull her out of. All to no avail. With a soft breath, he brushed his fingertips across her cheek as he passed her and headed for the door.

As soon as Loki was past, she turned and followed him, making sure she stayed two steps behind. She remained silent, hoping he'd simply forget she was there. Once they reached his chambers, she moved past him and sat down on the chaise. Why had she ever tried to join him in his bed in the first place? She belonged here, where she wouldn't bother him.

The chaise. Immediately, she chose the small couch instead of the larger, much more inviting bed. Loki slid his eyes closed again. He would not cry over this. He was not weak. "And now I've done something to make you fear me again. I thought we had moved past this."

"You're angry." Nancy whispered, still not looking at him. "With everything that's happened, I don't blame you. But I don't want to upset you further."

"Your decision to move back to the station you were in when you believed yourself an animal distresses me." Loki sank onto the bed. He knew he was pouting, but he truly thought them past this fear and insecurity.

Without a word, Nancy stood and moved to the bed, taking her place beside him. She knew he could feel her body shaking beside his, but there was nothing she could do about it.

Loki moved only his eyes to look over at her. He didn't want to move and scare her off again. They had been doing so well in their own little world. What changed? "Why are you afraid?"

Nancy shrank again under his gaze and looked away from him, staring intently at the golden pillows. "I told you, I don't want to do anything to upset you. You're angry with the rebels, but they're not here. _I'm_ here." She lowered her voice to such a whisper that her words were nearly inaudible. "You'll take it out on me."

"I will not!" Loki instantly propped himself up on one elbow. How could she think he would harm her on purpose? Had he not done everything in his power to see her safe? "Why do you assume these things?"

Nancy jolted back and physically moved away from him. "Because you have before. You said you 'hate to see a woman cry', but you like making me." Tears formed in her eyes again and threatened to spill over. "Please, just go to sleep. I don't wanna talk."

She would think him such a monster after all he went through for her? Loki rolled over and flopped down against the pillows. "Fine. If you do not trust me, then you do not trust me." He sighed to himself. Perhaps she would never trust him again. "I _only_ wish to know what put you in such a mood."

"You held Maija when she cried." Nancy's voice broke and she had to stop speaking for a second to regain her composure. "Stroked her hair. Kissed her. All because you hate to see a woman cry. You never did that for me." It didn't work. The tears spilled over anyway. "The most you ever did was loosen my muzzle a notch so I could breathe. You made my cry at your feet, begging you to let me sleep. Every day, I cried because of you."

"You are stronger than Maija. She would never have understood the things I went through." Loki glared unceasingly at the ceiling above him. He would not take his anger on her. He would not let her see how it affected him and made him feel worthless. "After all this, did I not more than sufficiently soothe your wounds? Both physical and emotional? Was I not more than kind?"

Did he expect niceties to erase the pain he caused her? Hugs to make her forget the torment?

"You were." Nancy finally admitted, moving a bit closer. It was true. He was more than kind. But it still didn't make up for all he'd done to her. "I'm sorry," she sniffled, "I shouldn't have said anything." As a way of apology, Nancy placed her hand over his.

Loki didn't move. The wounds were too raw, the images too real. He couldn't accept the false sympathy of a woman he was more than coming to love.

"Now I've made you angry with me. I'm sorry." Hurt that she'd hurt him, Nancy sat up a bit and softly kissed his forehead. "Please forgive me." she whispered before turning away from him and snuggling back down into the covers.

The tears boiled in his eyes, but Loki refused to allow her to see them. He would never be good enough. Never make up for the things he did to her.

"If it's not too much trouble, master, could you release me to sleep for the evening?" Nancy hated that she had to ask, but it needed to be done. "I don't want you to fall asleep and forget again."

 _She's calling me Master again._ Loki sighed and composed himself enough to respond to her. A few words that almost belied his sadness. "Sleep, then. I release you."

"Thank you." Maybe things would be better in the morning, but this was not how she wanted to spend the night. They were supposed to be having fun and enjoying each other's company… together. But now… this happened. And it was all her fault. If only she'd been a better pet.

Nancy fell asleep half an hour later after she'd quietly cried herself to sleep.


	60. Chapter 60

As the star-bejeweled sky grew lighter with the coming dawn, not all was at peace in Nancy's mind. She tossed restlessly and whimpered softly as horrors played out in her dream, unable to wake from her fears. Just as the dream reached its most frightening moment, Nancy jolted awake. She sat up, gasping for air, and looked around frantically for her attacker. But there was no one there. Instead, she found the dim glow of the strange green candles and the soft flicker of the sheer curtains in the moonlight. She was safe in Loki's room. In _their_ room.

Loki felt a swift motion beside him and instantly woke. He forced his muscles to remain lax, forced himself to think through what it might have been beside an attack. Slowly, he remembered his lovely mortal. Loki's brow knit even as his eyes remained closed. Another nightmare perhaps? He had thought they'd moved past them, but... it was possible. He remained still and calm, determined not to frighten her beyond her already frantic state.

Nancy took a few deep breaths to calm her breathing, trying to regain her composure. Once her breathing was back under control, she turned and looked at Loki, making sure he was still asleep. His eyes were still closed and his breathing was still even. Good. She hadn't woken him with all her noise and tossing. With a sigh of relief, Nancy ran a hand through her hair and whispered, "It was only a dream."

Still… it could have been real, had circumstances changed. She glanced down to Loki again and stared at him for a long moment, watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful… so innocent. Hardly the tyrant he once was. He'd changed so much since she'd first met him. He was no longer the man who'd tried to conquer the world and was realms away from the monster who'd tortured her for months. Now, his words were soft and loving, his touch inviting. He was her lover and she his beloved. But… even with their new relationship and open feelings for one another… what would it take to turn him back into a monster? What would push him just one inch too far? What if she messed up or upset him again? Would he beat her? Send her away? Or worse?

With a slight shake of her head to clear the bitter thoughts, Nancy stood and moved to sit on the steps to the balcony. Perhaps the fresh air would help to clear her mind.

It was so beautiful outside. So serene. Purples blended with deep blues, all speckled with stars and distant planets. She'd never had a view like this on Earth. Never felt such peace and happiness, despite everything that had happened to her.

Loki feared the worst once she moved away from him. Had he done something to upset her? Would she even now attempt to run from him, knowing there was not a place in the nine realms she could hide from his affection? He pushed up onto one elbow and studied her soft form, her stiff back. "What did you dream?"

Nancy jolted again when she heard Loki speak, surprised by his sudden voice in the silence. She placed a hand to her chest, willing her heart to slow its frantic beat, and glanced over at him. "I'm sorry." she whispered, avoiding his gaze, "I didn't mean to wake you. It was nothing. Really."

"Please tell me." Loki used one hand to sweep his hair from his face back over the top of his head. She looked so vulnerable, and he was in no position to boast in his station anyway. He wanted only for her to see him as he was, a man fiercely in love with a woman he once thought he couldn't stand.

"It was just a nightmare." Nancy sighed, bringing her knees to her chest, "Too many bad memories all jumbled together." She couldn't tell him the truth. It would crush him, and he'd hate her for it. "But it's over now. So there's nothing to worry about."

It was not over, and it most definitely worried him. Loki sighed softly and stood from the bed. His feet barely made a sound against the cold stone floor as he crossed it. His body didn't utter a single noise as he settled across from her on the step. "I said please. I never ask so nicely unless I truly wish to know."

Nancy glanced down. She had to tell him. There was no way around it. She could lie and make up a different nightmare… but he could always see through her stories. She had no choice. She had to tell him. "I was in the cell again." she explained quietly, "That guard was attacking me. Muzzling me… beating me. But when I turned to see him, it wasn't the guard." Nancy paused and swallowed, her mouth dry. "It was you."

 _No. No, no, no. No!_ His brain screamed and scrambled to come up with some other explanation, but Loki knew it would not. She must hate him for leaving her there, must fear that he would become as angry as the lecherous guard and do something about it. Though his heart shattered in three, Loki lifted his chin and tried to keep his wits about him. His voice, when he spoke, was naught but a whisper. "Oh, love. I am so very sorry."

Nancy curled tighter into herself and refused to look at him. How could she meet his gaze after telling him something like that? And to be able to _feel_ everything he felt… she could feel every ounce of his pain and sorrow. "I know you'd never hurt me, Loki." Nancy finally whispered, trying to bring some semblance of light to this dark, distressing moment. "It was just a dream. A terrible dream. Nothing more."

There was nothing to be done for it. The damage he caused would come back to haunt him often, he presumed, and he could do nothing. Except... Loki looked to his beloved and allowed a timid smile to tilt his lips. He extended his arms for her, hoping beyond hope that she would take the offered comfort. That she would come to him of her own accord, just this once.

Nancy blinked at him for a moment, slightly confused by his actions. He hadn't rejected her. He didn't hate her, or want to send her away. Instead, he sought to comfort her. To soothe her wounds. And, Nancy finally admitted to herself, she needed one of his hugs, now more than ever.

In one swift movement, Nancy stood and crawled into Loki's lap, cuddling down into his chest and the softness of his tunic. She savored his love and kindness. The warmth of his arms around her.

 _Thank the gods..._ Loki wrapped his long arms around her and stroked a hand over her back. She did not hate him in this moment, nor did she wish for another man's arms and kindness. He would do anything to reassure her that he would not hurt her like that. He had done much in his time, many things to be ashamed of, but never would he treat his pet with such disrespect.

A long silence lapsed. A stillness where no words were necessary. There was only peace and closeness and love. Comfort and warmth and trust. How could she ever fear him? He wasn't his old self any longer. He wasn't a monster… but rather her best friend.

"All those days you tormented me," Nancy finally whispered against the side of Loki's neck, "Did you ever enjoy them? Tell me the truth."

"At the beginning. But the longer you suffered... the more I despised myself for it." Loki winced at his own words. She had told him to speak honestly, but he loathed the bitter taste of the confession.

"And now?" Nancy sat back and gazed into his eyes in the dim light. His love was so bright now. It radiated throughout his entire soul, overwhelming the darkness and keeping it at bay. "Are you glad you did it?"

"I war with that question every day."

"You said you went through it, too. Who hurt you? When? Why?"

"I cannot speak his name. It was long ago, before the Chitauri invasion." But he owed her some sort of explanation, so he took a breath and continued. "He thought it would make me more powerful, the inability to feel."

"It doesn't. It just makes you... empty." Nancy shrugged and snuggled down into his chest again, thinking of their shared experience. "Like some bright part of you has died and left a cold hole in its place."

"Yes. I know that now." He knew every numb inch of his own heart. Every cold night and hard day. Loki shut his eyes and wrapped her more securely in his embrace. Nothing would get to them now, not here.

Another short silence lapsed, then Nancy pulled back just enough to look at him. To study his beautiful eyes again, made all the brighter by the dim green of the lanterns and the moonlight streaming through the curtains. But, beneath all his love and kindness… she still saw his pain. The pain that had caused him to lash out at an unsuspecting world like a wounded animal striking at the first passer-by. The pain that he tried to hide behind his lies and smiles. The same pain that caused him to torture the only one who ever truly wanted to understand him.

But now she _did_ understand. Nancy knew his pain and heartache like none other. She knew what it was like to be held captive against her will. To be beaten and broken until there was nothing left. Until every bright light was either dead or dying. Until all that remained was pain and anger.

"I'm glad you did it." Nancy finally whispered after a moment. She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek with her thumb, caressing him softly. "Now you don't have to suffer alone."

Surprised at the unbidden confession, Loki blinked and looked down at her. Had he so underestimated this woman that he would think she could hate him after all that? She always saw the light inside. The inability to climb from the dark place where he was shoved. Loki tilted his head and studied her lovely features. His woman. His lover. His beloved.

"And now," Nancy smiled and leaned closer to whisper in his ear, "Now, I have you. That makes all of it worth it." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tenderly, unwilling to let go. They were bound together now, more than just by magic. Their souls were intertwined, woven together by their need for one another. Bonded by their pain and sorrow, each partner the only remedy for the other.

Finally, the guilt eased and left in its place a burgeoning hope for the future. Loki smiled at her exuberant embrace and wrapped her more securely in his love. He would not speak, for that was sure to anger her, and the last thing he wished was to anger her.

"I love you, Loki." Nancy continued, nuzzling into the side of his neck, "And I always will. No matter what you ever say or do."

Loki quickly pulled back and took her small hand in his much larger one. He kissed each knuckle until he knew she was aware he reciprocated her feelings. "You mean this?"

"Yes. Of course. I've never felt this way toward anyone else. I love you despite any faults you may have. No one is _perfect_. Especially not me." Nancy paused and sighed, knowing she had to explain her outrageous actions from earlier in the night. He had to know why she reacted the way she did. "I'm sorry about last night." She twined their fingers together and shrugged, remembering how their perfect night had gone so wrong. "Somehow, what you said triggered flashbacks. I suppose that'll happen sometimes. But that won't make me stop loving you."

Loki grinned at her, a boyish smile that made him look years younger. A smile that revealed a part of him long hidden and thought dead. "I am sorry for what I caused. I wish never to give you reason to be frightened of me."

"And I hope it never happens again." Nancy's smile slid into a frown. She'd studied cases upon cases of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Not just of war victims and fellow agents, but common people who'd survived terrible things. Anyone who went through any sort of extreme trauma had symptoms and flashbacks. Memories that could be triggered by the simplest things. And she'd experienced horrible trauma herself. All those days in the cell constantly lurked in the back of her mind, waiting to surface again. This was her life now. Bowing to her master, even though she no longer had one. "But I know it will happen from time to time." she finally continued, "That's just part of what I have to deal with now. But, my love, know that I'm never truly afraid of you."

"I am glad. I do not wish that." Yet, somehow... she had been afraid of him. Enough to dream he would harm her. Loki stroked his knuckles along her perfect cheekbone. "Tell me, what did I do to cause your fear, that I may strive to avoid it in the future."

Nancy shrugged sheepishly, embarrassed by her actions earlier. "I think it was just the way you phrased it. 'I hate to see a woman cry, as you _so well_ know'. As if I did know. Then all I could remember was the torture."

"Curse this _silver tongue_." Loki snarled at his own insensitivity and looked away from her. "I swear, you are the only woman I cannot twirl my words around."

Nancy physically recoiled from his tone and snarl. She'd obviously angered him again. "I'm sorry. I know how much you love your words. It was my fault." She quickly stood and paced to the other side of the room, wanting to give him his space. She'd made yet another mistake, and with her nightmare still vividly on her mind, Nancy wanted to put as much space between herself and his anger as she could.

Loki took a breath as she left him, knowing once more he mistook his own actions for acceptable when they were not. He inclined his head in a pitiful gesture of apology. "No, love. Do not run from me. I apologize. I was not angry with you."

"No. Don't." Nancy turned slightly and crossed her arms protectively over her chest. "You adore words just as much as I do. I overanalyzed. I misunderstood. It was _my_ fault." She sighed heavily. "It's a curse I've created myself."

"What did you overanalyze, darling?"

"Last night. I always assume." Nancy perched lightly on the edge of the bed and pulled the covers over her lap, lightly fingering the golden braiding running along the edge. "You meant one thing, I heard another. And here we are now, arguing over meaning."

Loki sighed. He never meant to go down this dark road yet again. "Yes. It seems we are at an impasse. What did you _think_ I meant last night?"

"I was jealous of Maija." She refused to look at him now. What would he think of her? "I took what you said as a taunt. You were so worried about her tears, but never mine."

Oh, so she was jealous. An interesting turn of events. Did she think he thought less of her simply because she hid her tears? Because he ignored them in light of a grander scheme? Maija was fragile and breakable and tiny, whereas his love—his Nancy—was a woman who could hold her own. "And in the future, when I tend to Maija in such ways, what will you do then?"

Nancy shrugged half-heartedly and stared intently at the tiny golden rope, studying the swirls and patterns. She could feel her tears burning at the backs of her eyes and tried to blink them away. "There's nothing I can do. I just want you to be happy, no matter who you're with." Her voice choked on the last syllable.

"You think I would choose her again, over you." Realization dawned on him and wrapped firmly around his heart, strangling it in a web of uncertainty. Did she so doubt him?

Nancy gave one barely noticeable nod as a single tear escaped and dripped down her cheek. "You deserve a beautiful Asgardian like her."

That simply wouldn't do. Loki read so much more into the words than she intended. He stood immediately and went to her side, settling on the bed and dropping his head to catch her gaze. "You do not think yourself beautiful?"

Nancy gave a humorless chuckle and glanced away. "I'm not Maija. I'm not proper or refined. I'm not nobility."

"Does this make you any less beautiful?" He extended two fingers, tucked them under her quivering chin, and turned her eyes back to him. He wished to see her soul as she bared it.

As another tear dripped down her cheek, Nancy studied his eyes. His love and kind expression. "You tell me." Her words came out in a breathless whisper, desperate to know his answer.

Loki smiled widely. She really wished to know, and he wished to tell her. "In my eyes, you are Maija's equal. Noble. Polite. And _very_ beautiful."

With those few words, her sorrow fled. Nancy smiled softly and hugged her beloved, holding him to her. "Then you're not interested in Maija?"

"I had deep feelings for her once. You will have to excuse any feelings that linger beyond their welcome."

Nancy pulled back slightly. "But she likes you, too. Why aren't you with her?"

"Because I _love_ you." His long fingers tucked a perfect red curl behind her ear. She was beyond beautiful, she was exquisite. Worthy of any praise the goddesses received.

Nancy leaned her face into his hand, savoring the gesture. "But if you loved her once, and now love me, who's next?" she questioned, still not understanding, "Where does it end?"

"I did not say I loved her. Only that I had feelings for her. I have never truly loved another before you."

Her smile returned with fervor and Nancy hugged him tightly. "I believe you." she finally whispered, slowly pulling away just enough to kiss his lips. He loved her. _Only_ her. "What I _can't_ believe, however," Nancy sighed as she pulled away and lounged back on the bed, "is that her brother would do that to her. Did you know him?"

"We spoke briefly. In hindsight, I understand his reluctance to speak with me." Loki sighed and sprawled on the bed beside her. It was quickly becoming his favorite place to rest.

"Do you think he's the leader?" She turned to face him and snuggled closer. "And those 'gateways'... what are they? Where do they lead?"

"Oh, various realms." She wasn't nearly close enough, Loki realized with a pout. He shifted on the bed and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. "And I am quite sure he is behind it all."

"Hm." Another inch or two closer was all it took to move into the proper position to lay with her head on his chest. Her favorite spot. She loved to hear his heartbeat. "That's probably why Skaldi had that thug hurt Maija. He didn't like how close she was getting to you. Poor girl. Betrayed by her own family."

"If I had not hand-picked her..." Loki shook his head. He could not dwell on that tonight. "He will be made to pay for all he's done. I will personally see to his punishment."

"How will you find him?" Nancy lifted her head slightly to look at him. "I might have a few contacts on Earth who can help sniff him out, but what about the other worlds?"

Loki smirked at her. Would she never learn how he operated? "I have my ways. The Dark World will be the hardest. But I daresay he will be found one way or another."

"Meanwhile," She snuggled down again. "Those few guards who remain loyal are having their families snatched away in the night."

"I will put an end to that immediately." And how glad he was, because had he not, Nancy would force him out of bed to see to it immediately. Now that he had her in his arms again, he didn't want to move. "I have given the orders. They will be carried out."

"Orders?" Wait, what? Nancy sat up straight to get a good look at him. "I know I should be used to having information withheld from me by now, but... what orders?"

"We've brought in all but a few of Skaldi's followers. All loyal guards' homes have had a visit from... ahem... _me_. There was quite a show of putting tracking spells on those homes. If Skaldi was watching, and I do not doubt he was, he will know I will know if the families are taken and where."

"But… but… what?" Nancy blinked, totally and utterly confused. "When did you do all that? We just found out about the guy last night. Did I sleep longer than I thought?"

"Oh, no. I've done all this since then." He shrugged. He had his ways and she should know better than anyone.

Nancy's mouth gaped open, displaying her absolute disbelief. She cautiously reached out a finger to touch him, making sure he was real. "How...? What...? But... you were..." Her words trailed off and she fell silent, dumbfounded by his magic and tricks.

A laugh escaped him unbidden. He'd never seen her so speechless. Loki reached out and poked at her most ticklish spots, trying to get a rise out of her. "So many things are possible when one can duplicate oneself."

Nancy giggled at the sudden feeling of his fingers touching all her sensitive spots. She swatted at him and rolled away. "So, you never left?" she laughed, flipping a mass of red hair out of her face, "You did all that, while still laying here beside me?"

"Well, I couldn't sleep, so I decided to use my time wisely."

With her smile still in place, she moved closer and resumed her place beside him, her head returning to his chest. "Why couldn't you sleep? You could've left if you wanted to. Or needed to."

"I was comfortable." Loki tucked her more securely against him, until he was certain not a thing could take her from him while he slept. "Besides, it was quiet here and I could concentrate on duplicating myself many times over."

"Wow. That must require a lot of concentration. I don't see how you can control more than one you at a time." She paused, realizing his avoidance. "And you didn't answer my question."

He traced his thumb absently over her shoulder, rubbing small, concentric circles to distract himself. "I was upset."

With a loving smile, Nancy leaned over him and brushed her lips against his. "I'm sorry I upset you. But, perhaps I can remedy it?" She kissed him passionately as she turned over and allowed him to return to his position atop her. "You know, I think it was your turn next."


	61. Chapter 61

Loki grinned at the woman sleeping in his arms. She was so adorable like this. So beautiful before she'd ever woken at all. His hand on her back curled on its own. Loki traced a finger along her delicate spine, then back up to her neck. When that didn't rouse her, he brushed her hair from her cheek and stroked a thumb there. "Time to wake, love."

"Mm." Nancy smiled sleepily at the feeling of his fingers brushing lightly over her skin. She remained with her eyes closed, enjoying the sensation. "No. I like laying here with you." To emphasize her point, she snuggled closer, burying herself in his side.

Loki traced his fingers over her delicate backbones again, relishing in the feeling of finally having her in his arms. "More than you like surprises?"

"Mm-hm." Nancy cooed as a shiver traveled down her back and goosebumps prickled on the surface. But, wait… he'd said something about a surprise. She slowly opened one eye and glanced to her lover. "'Surprises'? What surprise?"

"Well if I told you," Loki laughed in the middle of his thought. She really was too eager and adorable. "It would cease to be a surprise."

Reluctantly, Nancy sat up and snuggled back into the pillows, using them to support her still-sleepy body. She stretched just as slowly, knowing full-well what he thought of her bare form. With a teasing glare, she finally looked to Loki again. "This doesn't involve another one of your snakes, does it?"

Her glare intensified but retained its playfulness as she remembered the last encounter she'd had with one of his snakes. One of the larger ones had managed to slip under the covers one night while they… enjoyed themselves. Flailing and falling out of the bed while still tangled together was the worst part. Everything ended up on the floor: Nancy, Loki, snake, sheets, and all. The scramble that ensued between Nancy trying to both get out of the sheets and away from the snake was priceless and hysterical. "I swear, Loki Odinson, if one more snake climbs in this bed, I'm out. Indefinitely."

"No. No snakes, unless you want them." Loki smirked. Oh, that was an idea. He'd have to think through that one. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Get dressed and I'll show you."

Nancy narrowed her eyes further, still suspicious, but did as she was told. She climbed out of bed, her movements slow and precise, as she realized he was still watching her.

The golden morning sunlight caught the various shades of red and orange in her hair, intensifying them and setting them ablaze. As she moved past the bed and toward her wardrobe, a gentle breeze blew through and caught her hair. Slowly, her hair swept up and slid over her shoulder, revealing her pale, smooth neck. She turned, then, and began gathering her clothes, her back to her lover. Soft, gentle curves were illuminated by the golden sunshine, every movement ringed in light.

Finally, after many minutes passed, Nancy finished dressing, clad in her new usual: golds and greens that by design brought out her best features. She turned to Loki again, smiling at him, as she ran her fingers through her amber locks in an effort to tame them. "Now, darling, what _is_ this surprise?"

Loki leaped from the bed in a flurry of sheets and sweet anticipation. His disheveled hair smoothed as he stretched his arms and magicked his clothes onto his body. Useful when he'd much rather watch her dress than move from his spot. "Allow me to show you." Loki pulled the door open and beckoned her with one open palm to precede him into the hall.

Still wary of his intentions, Nancy made her way out the large, shining doors. She stopped in the hallway and turned to look at him, waiting for him to lead the way.

The idea of a surprise both thrilled and frightened her. What did he have planned? And why had he let her know his plans before he revealed them in their fruition? It was hardly his style. Typically, he would never reveal he had a surprise for her; he would just give it to her, as he'd done with the dress and collar. What made this surprise different?

Loki hesitated before he opened his palm again and presented it in her direction. He hardly expected her to take it, yet he waited beside her in anxious anticipation of what she might decide.

Nancy smiled at his offered hand and took it gently, twining their fingers together. As their love grew stronger and deeper, he revealed new sides of himself she'd always longed to see. To have him offer his hand, not as a show of chivalry but as an act of love, was one moment she'd longed for since her arrival on Asgard.

"What's with you this morning?" Nancy laughed, holding his hand tighter and drawing him closer, "It must be something big."

"All my surprises are _big_." Loki winked saucily. She knew better than to give him an inch's worth of innuendo. His mischievous side couldn't resist it. Nor did he want to. Her blush was so pretty.

With a practiced ease borne of years inside the palace walls, Loki led Nancy through hall after hall, corridor after silent corridor. The palace was nothing if not quiet in the mornings. He stopped beside the garden door and gently pulled it open.

He couldn't bring himself to speak a word as he pulled her farther and farther along. Toward the maze. Through its corridors. What if she didn't like this surprise? What if he blundered again and pushed her away? He didn't think he could bear her fear after all he knew of the precious woman.

Nancy moved closer to Loki, holding his arm with her free hand, as they made their way through the twists and turns of the labyrinth. The last time she was here, that poor guard betrayed her into the hands of her kidnappers. These same paths had hidden her and allowed their scheme. But now… now she was safe in the care of her lover. He would never allow her to be harmed and would do all he could to protect her. Though she still had a twinge of fear about where he was taking her, Nancy knew she could trust him with her very soul.

"I'm glad you're leading me." she finally commented, glancing around at the tall walls of shrubs and trees, "I'd get lost in here by myself."

"I am glad you allow me to lead you." Loki came to an abrupt stop before the final turn. He wanted it to be a true surprise. One he could control the moment of reveal for. So he looked down at the beautiful woman on his arm, let his smile light his face, and requested one last impossible feat of confidence. "Now. Close your eyes."

Another act of trust. Nancy studied him for a moment, taking in his smile and playfulness. What did he have planned? Reluctantly, she decided to play along and closed her eyes. "I'm warning you." she laughed, "No snakes. Or birds. Or anything that would jump out at me."

"Oh, hush. And no peeking." Loki tapped a single finger against her nose to the beat of the last three syllables. It was now or never. He held her hand atop his arm and circled the very last turn into the spacious, quiet corner of the garden his mother designed for such times as this. He stopped in plain view of the grand display before them.

Nancy stopped when he did, moving ever closer to him. He would always be her strength and support. After a few moments passed, she glanced toward him, her eyes still closed. "May I look now?"

Everything seemed in order. The kitchen must have prepared all of it as he directed. Loki let out a small breath of thanks to the loyal servants and smiled. "Yes. Now you may open your eyes."

When she opened her eyes, Nancy found a grand display of breakfast foods and steaming dishes filling a large banquet table. A golden tablecloth embroidered in Asgardian symbols swished lightly in the breeze as it hung from the corners of the table. And there, in the center of it all, large white flowers intermingled with pink roses and golden branches. It was all so beautiful.

"Oh, Loki. This is wonderful! Thank you!" Nancy engulfed him in a strong, loving hug. "It all looks so beautiful. How did you know pink roses are my favorite? And what's the occasion for all this grandeur?"

"I really cannot do anything nice without being questioned about it, can I?" Loki chuckled at the incessant questions. He should have known. She, above all, would question everything. He shook his head as he surveyed it all again. It was too much. He just knew it.

"Because everything you do has a reason." After a moment, Nancy finally forced herself to pull away from him and went to sit at the table. It all looked so good. Where to start? With biscuits and jam, of course. She began serving herself immediately. "Well, come sit." she laughed, glancing to Loki.

Loki laughed again. So bossy, even when she wasn't the one in charge. He really couldn't win either way with her. He snatched an apple from the buffet and flopped back on the grass, using one arm to support him.

Nancy turned and raised an eyebrow at him. "There _are_ other chairs, you know." She shook her head with a grin and munched on one half of the jam-covered biscuit.

Loki bit off a large chunk of the apple and sighed softly. "I much prefer this vantage point." He smirked up at her. There were reasons he enjoyed reclining against the grass beside her. Like... Loki toyed with the hem of her skirt, rolling the soft material between his fingers.

"You scoundrel." Nancy teased, her mouth full. She swallowed and quickly crossed one leg over the other. "Come and sit at the table like a proper gentleman."

"Absolutely not." Loki only grinned wider. She had such aspirations for him. Adorable, really, to think she could change his nature. "This is also a good vantage point from which to watch your reaction when I tell you something else."

"Oh, gosh." Nancy took another bite and rolled her eyes. "I _knew_ there had to be a reason." After she finished chewing, she swallowed and turned completely to face him. "Alright, what is it?"

"I've decided to remove the sleeping curse." Loki shrugged a shoulder and bit off another third of the apple. She might hate him, but he had to do what he felt right.

Nancy blinked, stunned, and leaned sideways against the back of her chair. "Why? I thought you liked having power over me." She quickly checked her mistake and smiled at him, lest he change his mind. "But I _am_ grateful for it. Thank you."

"I've decided, that's all. I _do_ enjoy having power over you, but I am quite sure I can find other ways to do so."

"Oh, I'm sure you will." Nancy laughed, grabbing her plate and standing from her chair. The table suddenly didn't seem nearly as pleasing as the spot next to him. Within moments, she was perched on the grass, leaning sideways against him. "You're right. This spot is better."

Loki flicked at her skirt once she'd settled beside him. He liked seeing her legs, and exposing them was so easy in her current attire. He smirked at the long expanse of leg. "Yes. I agree."

"Not now." Nancy blushed, pulling her skirt back down, "I'm eating." She picked up a sweet roll, then, and caused happy memories to flood back into her mind. Memories of the sweet roll he'd given her in the cell. Of him licking her fingers and the sensations she felt. Of their kiss and the nasty trick he played on her afterward.

Loki flicked the panel of her skirt away again. "Oh please. You've more than likely shown more leg than this wearing your Midgardian short trousers. Humor me."

His words and actions quickly brought her back to the present moment. "You mean shorts? I don't wear shorts." Stubbornly, Nancy pulled her dress down once more.

"Whyever not? Your legs are splendid." He immediately moved the panel aside again.

It was a lovely compliment. Fine. He could look at her legs if he wanted. Nancy allowed the dress to remain off to the side, exposing her legs to the warm Asgardian sunshine.

"Not where I come from." she continued, chewing slowly and thoughtfully, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a twig."

"Of course not! What do trees have to do with your legs?" Loki rolled his eyes as he reached for a pheasant wing off the table. What a ridiculous thing to say.

"It's a metaphor." Nancy rubbed at her temples with her free hand. She had to remember they had different idioms here and he didn't understand hers. "It means I'm not thin. And where I come from, the thinner a woman is, the prettier she is." She took another bite of the sweet roll and licked at a drop of frosting that was slowly creeping down her wrist. "Some women choose not to eat at all to be thin."

"Well, that's ridiculous." Loki tore into the pheasant wing much too violently, but he hoped she didn't notice. He didn't like when she put herself down like this. "All women have their own form of beauty. Each are beautiful in ways the others are not." He chewed and swallowed as he thought about what he said. "Except hags, of course."

Nancy chuckled. "Of course." She smiled at him, admiring her lover and his unique outlook on life. "That's a wonderful way to view the world. I wish more people shared that opinion."

"As do I." He tossed the bones back onto the platter. "Are you going to finish your meal?"

"I'm trying. I don't scarf my food like _some people_." Nancy shot him a mock glare and popped a bite of bacon in her mouth. "What's the rush anyway? You have somewhere to be?"

"No. I had just noticed you stopped eating." Loki shrugged and as nonchalantly as he could snatched a roll from the tray next.

Nancy narrowed her eyes at him, studying him. How strange he was acting today. "What does it matter if I eat or not? Until recently, I survived off little more than apples."

"And now I have come to the conclusion that eating is good for you."

"How quickly you change your mind. I wonder why." She narrowed her eyes further, staring him down.

Loki didn't know how much longer he could hold up the pretense that nothing was wrong. "Darling, I change my mind almost hourly. The hour has simply come for me to change my mind on these subjects."

"Then I'd better eat now before you change it back again." She quickly finished her piece of bacon and started in on some roast meat. After a moment, she looked at him again. "Will you ever change your mind about me?"

"I have set my decision on that. Once you are mine, I do not let you go."

Nancy frowned and looked down at her plate again, her appetite suddenly gone. "You let Maija go." Her words were nearly inaudible as she set her plate off to the side.

Loki waved a hand dismissively. A completely different subject. A completely different woman. "She was never meant to be mine _forever_."

"Oh, and I am?" Nancy looked at him again, desperate to know his answer. "Your lover forever?"

"Yes." Loki dropped his smile at her tone. He hated seeing her upset like this. "And do not ever forget it." He sat up abruptly, remembering part of his reasons for bringing her here. "Oh, I almost forgot. This is for you. I've modified it." Loki flicked a wrist and produced a gold cuff bracelet.

Nancy frowned and studied the golden metal. She had promised him she would wear another token in exchange for the collar being removed. Her eyes lifted to his again. "Will it shock me if I try to take it off?"

"No. It will not. If you try to take it off, it will simply immobilize you and summon my attention. The same as if you wander too far."

Nancy gave a small sigh of relief. At least it wouldn't shock her again. "Fine. If I must." She sat up and pushed the sleeve of her left arm up to her elbow, revealing a large, dark patch of skin about three inches above her wrist. The discoloration was a deep shade of red with wrinkles and hard edges, the nerves dead and all feeling gone. Despite her new healing abilities, her skin in this area never returned to normal. The damage was done long before she was turned Asgardian. "Just no more scars, okay?"

"I assure you, there will be no scars. The same as before, you will feel your limbs held fast, as though they are made of something heavy, and you will not be able to move or proceed. That is all." Not only that but it would shield her if anyone tried to attack her again. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving her defenseless.

Nancy gave a humorless laugh. "All the better in case more guards try to kidnap me. They'll take me away like I'm just a plank of wood."

"They will not. Not ever." Loki finished the roll with a flourish and smiled at her again.

Nancy glanced down to the metal again, resigning herself to her fate. "Am I still confined to the palace?"

"For now. Until I find Skaldi." She was upset. He could tell. Loki traced a finger from her elbow to her fingertips in an attempt to cheer her up or calm her down. "If I thought it safe elsewhere..."

"I know. It's fine." She forced a smile and reached up to caress his cheek with her free hand. "I'd rather have the bracelet than the collar."

Loki's heart hurt at the way she looked at him. As though he put her back in that cell and sicced her transgressor on her all over again. "But you still do not like it."

Nancy sighed heavily and dropped her hand down to his shoulder, then his arm. "No. I don't. I'm just not a fan of being confined. Or having some sort of monitor on me." She reached out and folded his hands in hers. "But I know it's only so you can protect me."

"Would it help your conscience if I place a similar device on Maija?"

His words genuinely surprised her. Why would he put his lovely Maija through this torture? Nancy couldn't hide her shocked expression. "Why would you put one on her?"

Why wouldn't he? Weren't they both in trouble? Perhaps it would make her feel more secure to have Maija under the same surveillance. "To make you feel better, as I said. Because she is in danger as well. I would, of course, make hers summon Fandral as well."

"Would hers cause her to become paralyzed if she wanders too far, as well?"

"Unless I spend time thinking on another way to immobilize her."

Nancy frowned deeply. "No. I don't want her to have to go through that." This was her punishment, not Maija's. Maija was shy and obedient. If they asked her to stay put, she would. Nancy, however, knew she would not. "Maija is free; she doesn't need to be confined." With a deep breath to gather her courage, Nancy held her wrist out for the bracelet again.

Loki still didn't understand why she was being so very odd. He only wanted her safe. Why must she make it seem as though he made her prisoner all over again. "Very well, then."

Nancy glanced down to the metal, noting the red patches that peeked out here and there from under the jewelry. Gilded or not, it would still confine her. Still keep her from going where she wished or doing what she wanted. "No. Maija doesn't need one of these. If you want to put a tracker on her, that's your business, but don't immobilize her." Maija was too sweet and beautiful to have something so horrible placed on her. Once again, Nancy was reminded she was not, truly, Asgardian. She was not noble or brilliant or graceful. She wasn't a goddess. Nowhere near it. She was only… herself. And that's all she would ever be.

"As my lady wishes." He ruined everything. He could tell. She never wanted this, but for the life of him he couldn't decipher what was so wrong with wishing her safe and well.

Nancy looked up at Loki, noting his choice of term. 'My lady'. A term of endearment, yes, and an expression of his love… but still showing possession. She was still his. Nancy forced another smile. "I, myself, on the other hand, belong to you. You may track every footstep as you desire."

This wasn't how he anticipated the day ending. He wanted to hold her and remind her how he loved her, but she looked at him as though she barely knew him. "If the rebels had no power, I would not put you through this."

He wouldn't put her through this. Right. She had the bracelet long before the rebels attacked. He gave it to her on their trip to the library, to ensure she did not stray. Rebels or not, she would always be bound to this bracelet, the same as she'd now always be bound to him.

"It's fine. Probably for the best, anyway. Wouldn't want me straying away." Nancy nearly spat at him, her words laced with bitterness. "We have things like this on earth. For criminals. They help keep the crooks bound to their homes. Because that's the worst kind of prison. False freedom."

"I did not want... I do not mean..." Loki pursed his lips and shook his head. This was not the same woman he woke up next to this morning. This woman was cold and detached, resigned to fate instead of enjoying a lover beside her. He didn't like it when she did this.

"It's fine, Loki. Humans crave subjugation anyway, right?" It was then that Nancy noticed a deep feeling of pain and sadness, deeper than her own. She looked up at him and saw the pain in his eyes. The same pain she now felt in his heart. He was truly only trying to protect her. Because he loved her. "I'm sorry. That was mean. I know you're only trying to protect me, darling. Forgive me."

Nancy wrapped her arms around him and kissed him slowly, silently begging for his forgiveness. It would take her time to learn to fully submit to him. Perhaps she never would. But now… now she _wanted_ to. She wanted to please him and make him happy. She'd do whatever she could to make things right.

With a smile, Nancy slowly pulled away and stood, holding her hand out to him. "Come here, my love. Let's go for a walk."

But she didn't mean any of it. She felt as caged as he had been for years. She wanted freedom he could not afford to give her right now. Loki sighed, nodded, and stood to his feet. There was no way to explain it to her that would make it better. Perhaps she would never fully trust him.

Noting his still-sad mood, Nancy lifted his hand to her lips and softly kissed the backs of his fingers. "This is a beautiful morning." she whispered against his skin, then slowly lowered their hands back down to her side. "And breakfast was delicious. Thank you."

Loki chuckled halfheartedly. "I feel as though I ate ten times what you consumed, but you are quite welcome."

Nancy's smile was genuine this time. "With the way you eat, you might have. I've never seen someone finish an entire pheasant in under two minutes until today."

"Child's play!" Her playful demeanor lightened his mood somewhat. Loki laughed softly and ventured a solicitous glance over her face. "You truly enjoyed it?"

Needing to be closer to him, Nancy did a small twirl until his arm was draped over her shoulders. She leaned against him, not caring if it made her walk a bit sideways. "Yes. It was a wonderful surprise." As they walked, she looked up at the ancient, winding tress and the beautiful birds scattered throughout. "What else do you have planned? I recall you said 'surprises'. Plural."

"I hadn't really thought that far." Loki shrugged. It wouldn't end the way he originally planned, but he had plenty of time to tell her.

With a grin, Nancy stood on the ends of her toes and whispered in his ear, "I can think of something we could do." She smiled at him, then continued on, letting him think on it a while. "So, have you had any luck finding the rebel leader? The sooner we find him, the sooner we can focus solely on _us_."

"Sadly, no. I had hoped to find something, but no."

"Oh." She looked up at him again, needing his full attention. "I wish you'd let me work. I want to help with this. I feel so... useless just sitting around in your room."

"I must find him myself. It is something I feel I must do... Do you understand why?" The last thing he wanted was to upset her again, but he feared his desire to bring the man to justice would do just that.

Nancy scoffed. "Because you're ticked he stole your tricks and used them against you."

"No." Loki shook his head and looked away from her. It was so much more than that. It was so much deeper a need than she realized. "That is not why at all. But, you were saying something, and I interrupted. What was it?"

This time her sarcasm had gone too far. She could feel it. Nancy, in disregarding his need, caused him to shut down and change the subject on purpose. Her guilt strangled her, but it was too late. He'd changed the topic and buried his emotions deep inside. She longed to apologize, but the time had passed. Instead, all she could do was move closer and lean against him again, holding his hand tighter in an effort to show her love. Perhaps he could feel her emotions and could tell how guilty she felt for casting his need aside.

"It's just… sometimes I feel like I can't be myself here." Nancy whispered, still sorrowful, "Do you remember how I was on earth? Bold, courageous, witty... it's all gone now."

"You are very bold. Courageous. And witty. Even now. It is not gone. You've simply hidden it."

"And why do you think that is?" How could he not tell what his rules and commands had done to her? "Every time I try to do something I love, for some strange reason it's forbidden."

"May I remind you of the multiple times you've decided to take over my conversations and make decisions for me?" Somehow, it amused him that she couldn't see what she constantly attempted. She always needed to be in charge, and though he tried to subtly teach her it could be pleasurable to follow once in a while, she would not yet buy it.

"I've never... name one!" Nancy stepped away from him, a bit agitated by his new mood. She crossed her arms defiantly across her chest. "I've never done that."

Loki folded his own arms in an exaggerated modification of the move she made. "The sheet the morning Maija and Fandral came. The conversation directly thereafter... I believe that is two instances, no?"

"Uh… well, I… But, you see…" He did have a point. She was beginning to take charge again. "Well, a king should not receive company in his birthday suit!" she huffed, pouting at the fact he was right once again.

"I still do not understand your sayings..." Loki stretched out an arm to wrap it around her. She was too adorable to ignore, really. His lips brushed against her forehead. "But you are quite adorable when you stick your lip out as such."

Nancy chuckled and finally relaxed. He was so sweet and kind. How could she stay angry with him? "Oh, fine. I guess you win. I'll leave you be and let you find him yourself. But, if I might make a request, I want my library privileges restored. At least give me that."

Loki sighed dramatically, finally coming back to the playful mood of earlier. At least she didn't seem angry with him anymore. "If you _insist._ But I cannot promise to always be in a good mood when I find you there."

"I know; it's your escape, too." Nancy tucked her arm through his and leaned against him again. "I'll _try_ to keep my papers contained to one or two tables, if I can. And maybe… if you'd like… one of these days you can help me with my translations." She smiled up at him, her face illuminated by the sun peeking through the shade of the leaves. Ever since she began her translations, she'd sincerely hoped he would help her. It was one activity she'd always wanted to do with him but was too shy to ask.

"I do not know if I should take you up on that offer. I so _adore_ watching you attempt to translate on your own."

"Attempt? All this time and I'm still getting it wrong?" She sighed heavily. "I'd appreciate your help. It's very rare I ever ask for it."

Loki shook his head and grinned at her. She really had no idea, and she'd been trying so hard, too. "You've misplaced five of the letters in your alphabet translation."

"That many?!" Nancy's eyes widened. She'd never misplaced so many before. "Oh," she groaned, "It'll take years for me to figure out which ones on my own. And just when I was moving on to full words, too."

"Yes, well... I thought perhaps I ought to tell you before you mispronounce something horribly and insult – Valhalla forbid – a nobleman or some such person."

"Oh, like you?" Nancy laughed, pushing him gently. "Who would I ever speak to anyway? You're the only person I ever talk to."

Loki grinned at her, the gleam in his eyes sparkling brighter. "There are always the feasts."

"Yes. The feasts. Where I'm up at the throne, sitting at your feet, still only talking to _you_."

"You _do_ know how to dance now." He shrugged nonchalantly. "What if someone requests a dance?"

"Would you let whoever asks dance with me?"

"I don't know. I might."

"Fine. But, who would? They all know I belong to you."

Loki smiled tenderly at her. She was so insecure sometimes. Whether she belonged to him or not—and there was little doubt she did anymore—any noblemen could surely see the treasure hidden inside her. The beauty both inside and out. She defied comparison. "Any man would be lucky to have you as a partner."

His words were so sweet, so sincere. Nancy glanced away, smiling brightly, as a blush rose to her cheeks. In an instant, she looked back at him, a new idea forming and causing a mischievous glint to rise to her eyes. "Well... who said _I_ would let him dance with me? I won't dance with just anyone." Her smile widened into a grin.

Loki's grin spread. He liked the direction this conversation was taking. "Oh? Who would have to ask for you to dance with him?"

"A man who captures my attention. Who is brilliant beyond all others." She gazed lovingly into his eyes, holding his gaze with her own. "Who sweeps me away before anyone knows what happened and _always_ comes back for me."

Loki chuckled to himself and stared thoughtfully off into the space over her shoulder. He might as well toy with her while she was in a good mood. "Hm... I shall have to keep my eyes open for such a person at the next feast."

Nancy's grin widened, and she leaned closer, dropping her voice to a whisper. "Oh, and he _must_ be handsome, too. Very handsome. And love words just as much as I do."

"I cannot imagine what such a specimen would look like..." Loki clucked his tongue. "Surely he would be a fearsome specimen to behold. Perhaps somewhat intimidating to those who do not know him..."

Her lips neared his, and Nancy could feel his breath on her cheeks. "There is only _one man_ I will ever dance with." She kissed him softly, teasingly. If he wanted more, he'd have to come get it himself.

In a second, Loki locked his arm around her waist and tugged her flush against his chest. He loved holding her this close now that she'd allow it. "A shame, too. What a waste of natural talent."

Nancy pulled away playfully, her laughter ringing through the ancient trees and winding branches. "Oh. Well, then. I suppose I'll just have to dance with every man _except_ you at the next feast. Would you like that better?"

"That has yet to be seen. Perhaps I would allow it..." Loki pulled her back and wrapped his other arm around her so she could not escape this time. "Perhaps."

"Fine. Then it's decided." Nancy buried her face in the side of his neck, content to stand that way with him forever. "I shall dance with every man at the next feast. Every man who asks me."

Loki arched a brow in acquiescence, knowing in the long run, she would be his forever. Today may not be the day to tell her of what he had learned, but the day would come soon. He only hoped she forgave him once the truth came out.

Nancy smiled and snuggled down into his shoulder, savoring the feeling of his arms around her. How far they'd come… together. "I love you, so very much." she whispered, pulling back just enough to gaze into his eyes once again. After everything they'd been through, she'd never had a chance to thank him for saving her. Or bringing her here and loving her so intensely. "Thank you, Loki, for all you've done for me. Not just for breakfast this morning, but for everything. I know I haven't always deserved it, but I appreciate it… you… all the same."

She hugged him again, holding him to her, and refusing to let go. Let the rebels come. Let them try to take him from her. Nancy was bound to him now, her soul tied to his. And they could never, ever be separated again.


	62. Chapter 62

Loki tapped a finger on the table and flipped through another file. He didn't know how many times he had been over this. Millions, perhaps. It still felt strange. He still didn't understand why she kept so much information if she hated him so much. Yes, it had all changed with their relationship and… the secret, but he still didn't understand. She had never asked.

Loki didn't know what else to do, or how to address what must have been the pivotal object in her former life. He closed the files and weighed the device in his hand. It couldn't be more than an ounce or two, and yet so much had once depended on it. Was this her lifeline, of sorts? Had he really made that big of an impression? Was that why she cried when he took the things and scattered them? He heaved a sigh, knowing what he had to do. He stood, shoved the device in his pocket, and headed for the garden, where he knew she would be.

* * *

Finally. _Finally_ , she was allowed outside. Well, sort of. The garden was technically _outside_ , even if it was still within palace walls. But Nancy wasn't complaining.

She smiled as she felt the warm Asgardian sunshine on her face. It was so nice to be able to sit in the grass again, under the shade of a large oak tree. The birds sang beautifully above her. The clouds mingled with stars in the endless expanse of sky, swirling softly amidst a cool sea breeze. Everything was at peace.

It had taken her some time to gather up the courage to come out here by herself. Ever since her attack, she was on edge and jumpy, always expecting something to grab her from around a corner. But Loki wouldn't let anything happen to her; he'd promised. He even made sure only the most loyal guards stood outside the garden doors, all to protect her. She still avoided the area where she was taken, but none of that mattered now. Not when there was sunshine and trees and birds and fresh air.

With a contented sigh, Nancy looked down to her wrist, where a thin, green snake sat coiled around her arm. It felt cool and strong against her skin, the touch of its tiny muscles so familiar now. This was the same snake that had once coiled around her neck, now tame and trusting as Nancy herself held it.

She carefully lifted her hand to her face, tilting her wrist ever so slightly so she could see its eyes. "Now, you don't bite me, and I won't squish you, okay?" she whispered to it, tentatively lifting a finger to stroke its head. Ever since her first dreadful experience with the snakes, she'd made great efforts to overcome her fears. And the fact she was around them all day, every day helped her immensely. Her greatest source of bravery, however, came from Loki's promise that his snakes would never harm her. As long as he was there to protect her, nothing could ever hurt her.

Loki paused in the garden entrance to watch her. She had taken quite fondly to Snori, one of his smallest but most useful snakes. He couldn't help but watch her amusement. It had once been fear, but she had changed. Perhaps she would forgive him this ancient fault. He cleared his throat.

Nancy jolted from the sudden sound in the silence. She immediately glanced up and found her lover's kind face. With a breathless laugh, Nancy gave a short sigh of relief. The snake wasn't trying to bite her. Thieves weren't trying to attack. It was only Loki, come to check on her.

"You scared me." she laughed, a bit embarrassed. She stood and walked over to him, lifting her arm as she approached. "Look, I think he likes me." Nancy held her arm out towards him, knowing he'd be proud of her for her accomplishment. She'd finally overcome her fears… for the most part.

Loki smiled sadly. Yes, he had scared her, with the slightest noise. Once upon a time, she would not have thought twice about it. Would have ignored him and turned her back. Now she was fragile, yet still so strong. He stroked Snori's head. "I told you he did."

"So you did." Nancy leaned close and gave Loki a soft kiss, remembering those old days. Even back then, he never allowed true harm to come to her. He protected her and ensured she only reached the precipice of breaking; he'd never break her fully. He was too kind and brilliant for that.

As Nancy pulled away, she noticed Loki's wan smile. "What's wrong, darling? You look like you've just seen a ghost. Some new development with the traitors or something?"

"No, it isn't that sort of ghost." Loki reached to take her hand in his, easily peeling the snake off and sending him back to the ground. "I've something I'd like to give you."

Nancy tilted her head and studied his eyes. What could he possibly give her that would cause him such pain? Such sadness and remorse. "What is it, dear?" she asked, concerned.

Loki took a deep, calming breath. "Why don't we sit, so we can discuss it?"

He was being ominous and cryptic again, and she didn't like it one bit. "You're starting to scare me." Nancy chuckled nervously, sinking down onto the bench under the oak tree, "And I don't scare easily. What's wrong? What happened?"

She did scare easily, now, but Loki kept that thought to himself. He stroked a thumb along the back of her hand. "It isn't so much a gift, as a return."

Nancy eyed him suspiciously. What was he hiding? A return… of what? What had he done? "You're stalling, Loki, and not well, either. Just tell me. Or give it to me. I can handle it."

Loki kept one of her hands in his, but held his other out flat. A green swirl started in the center. "I thought, since we've reconciled our differences, you might like this returned to you." The light died out to reveal her drive, an oblong disk that had meant the world to her, and he knew it. It was the cruelest trick he had ever played on her. Far worse than a flogging.

Nancy could feel all color drain from her face as she stared at her drive. No… _gaped_ at it. She'd forgotten he had it. All her secrets. Her innermost fantasies and desires. Every whim and will. It was more than a flash drive; it was a digital diary. Everything she'd ever felt toward him, every hope and dream, were all on there. Not to mention specific logs of when and where she'd gone in search of him. Her very soul was on that drive. And he'd had it… for so long.

Finally, Nancy forced herself to lift her eyes to meet his. "Did you… look at it?"

Loki winced. "Quite."

Nancy blushed intensely and turned her attention back down to the drive, debating whether to be furious or embarrassed. At this point, she was both. How dare he steal what was most precious to her? How dare he peek inside without her permission? He'd seen everything. But she couldn't rage against him. She knew better than to try it.

With a heavy sigh, Nancy finally took his hand in hers and curled his fingers back around the drive. "Just keep it. You've already seen everything." She groaned and leaned her head back against the trunk of the tree. "Oh, how awful."

"I didn't think it was awful." Loki grinned wickedly. "I thought I made a very good impression. I just didn't realize how good an impression it was. Tell me, how good was it?"

Nancy gave him a wan smile. "It was very good. So good that I made a complete fool out of myself trying to find you again." She sighed and gave him a real smile, remembering. "I had so many questions. And I couldn't stand the thought that I'd never see you again. I knew there was so much more to you. And I couldn't live knowing I'd never get to see it."

Loki's grin widened. "At least the whole 'invade Midgard' thing wasn't a total waste. I had thought I'd get a better reception, especially from the women."

Nancy laughed outright. "Oh, you! You're so full of yourself!" She pushed him playfully, then hugged his arm, drawing him close. "If you'd done any sort of research on 'Midgard', you would've known we're not keen on being ruled. By anyone." She narrowed her eyes playfully at him, challenging him.

Loki laughed and leaned forward to kiss her. "I know. I only jest; I never expected it to be easy. You proved more worth my time than the realm." He put the drive away and instead produced a single sheet of folded paper. "Perhaps, if you will not take your disk, you will accept this in its stead."

Nancy glanced down at the paper and hesitantly took it. She knew his tricks by now. Just when they were enjoying themselves and trusting each other, he'd play a prank on her. But he only did it out of childish affection. But, still. She knew him. Nancy didn't move to unfold it. "What is it? If something jumps out at me, trickster, I'll jump at you." she warned, on to him and his methods.

"No, it's nothing like that. I thought, perhaps, I owed you as much as I took." Loki placed his fingers gingerly atop it. "This is my observation of you, from the first time we crossed paths, in the custody of your beloved agency."

Nancy tilted her head and carefully opened the page. "Where did you get paper that day?" she mumbled. When did he have the time?

"I didn't. I have a remarkable memory, if you don't know. I wrote that in the cell here on Asgard, where Odin placed me after my return. I couldn't very well cease my thoughts about the encounter, so I wrote them as I remembered them." Loki stared at the paper. Even if he couldn't see the words, he knew what it said. He had memorized them.

 _She walked into the room with such an air of superiority, I felt sure I would never like her. I didn't give her the satisfaction of seeing me look up, instead choosing to leave a clone seated on that awful bench and watch her without being observed, myself. I had never seen a woman so beautiful, yet so unaware. Her attire, though probably professional for Midgard, was not flattering. I thought at once of at least four other things I'd prefer to see her in. The way she scribbled intently instantly told me what she was about. She wished to study me, like a lab rat. I have to admit, I thought she would be much more timid than she turned out to be. I frightened her, like I frighten everyone, and though I could see her pulse in the curve of her dainty neck, I could not shake her facade. This intrigued me. If I ever go back, it will be for her. I cannot get her quick wit and unique observances away from my mind. She could make a grand project, one day; far grander than the ladies of Asgard._

Nancy gasped softly as she read the words, tears rising to her eyes. Is this what he truly thought of her, all those years ago? He wasn't appalled, as she thought he'd been. He didn't hate her. Rather, he was _attracted_ to her. He thought her beautiful.

When she was finished reading, Nancy glanced at Loki again and grinned. She leaned close, as if she was going to kiss him, and whispered, "Were my dress-pants _really_ not that flattering? I liked them." Her eyes flashed with her own mischievousness. "Thank you, darling. This is lovely."

"You're welcome. It's the least I can do." Loki's glance flicked to her lips, but he wouldn't take advantage. If she wanted a kiss, she would come to him.

Nancy smiled, noticing his glance, and leaned closer, brushing her lips over the corner of his mouth. "'Far grander than the ladies of Asgard.' Did you mean that?" she continued to whisper.

Loki slipped a hand up to the back of her neck. "Oh, yes. I don't write anything I don't mean."

"Neither do I." Nancy kissed him deeply, savoring this side of him. Her equal, her friend, her lover… the other half of her soul. Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled away and glanced down, still thinking of the drive. "But all those files." Nancy nearly whined, "You looked at them _all_?"

Loki grinned again and kissed her tenderly. "Yes. All."

"But some of them were so… revealing." Nancy could feel the blush rising to her cheeks again. "My video logs were the worst. I never meant for anyone to see them."

"I didn't mind so much. I enjoy seeing what you think of things. _How_ you think of things."

Nancy smiled. He liked studying her thoughts. The same as she enjoyed studying him. They were a perfect pair. "Well, as long as you weren't offended." she chuckled, then turned a bit to lean back against him, "When you first discovered the drive, I was so afraid you'd tease me endlessly about it."

"If I had looked at it, at that time, I probably would have." Loki brought her hand up and kissed the back. "But no longer. I promise."

Nancy nodded, satisfied. "Fine. Just never, and I mean _never_ , show that drive to _anyone_ else. Ever."

"As my lady wishes."

His words were as good as a promise. He'd never embarrass her like that anyway. He loved her far too much.

Nancy sat in silence for a moment, thinking. Remembering the two long years she spent searching for him. The passion that fueled her. The questions that stole her sleep. "Darling… there's something I've been meaning to ask you. Those two years I searched for you, I always wondered… why did you save me? Why take me from the helicarrier? You didn't need me. They were chasing you nonetheless. Why spare my life?"

Loki smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Darling, don't you know? You intrigued me. Endlessly. A quiet but outspoken woman who found me fascinating? I couldn't ask for a better human subject to toy with."

Nancy chuckled. "And that's it? You just wanted a toy?" She eyed him with a smile, knowing there was more to it than that. There was always more to him than that.

"At first." Loki sighed and tapped her lips with a finger. "I saw more in you. Much more. You were more than they gave you credit for. More than their ridiculous rules. I saw a woman who could understand me if I gave her a nudge. Besides, you were quite beautiful and shapely. I could not stop thinking of you."

Nancy smiled and blushed, fully enraptured with his words and finally knowing how he felt about her. "I knew I intrigued you. I just never knew how much." She turned towards him and hugged him tenderly. "I love you, darling. Thank you for everything."

"Please don't thank me for _everything_." Loki winced, remembering those terrible times in the dungeons for her. He should never have left her down there. Not ever. He should have kept her close from the beginning.

Nancy rolled her eyes and kissed the end of his nose, knowing what he referred to. "You know what I mean." She'd forgiven him his faults a long time ago. There was no use in dredging them back up now. "Besides, without those moments, I wouldn't be who I am today."

Loki smiled tenderly at her. She was so amazing, and he couldn't imagine not having her. Would his life have turned for the better if not for her? "I'd rather you didn't, but thank you for trying to move on. I was wrong in my ways of going about things."

Nancy bobbled her head a bit, debating on agreeing with him. "Yes, darling. You were." she finally sighed. "But they were _necessary_." She frowned deeply, remembering her months in the cell. The endless days without sleep and fully realizing what true hunger was. "I was so stubborn. I never knew how difficult survival was before those times. How dark the world could be."

Nancy glanced up at him, then, and studied his eyes. His regret and remorse. The knowledge of what he'd done plagued him constantly. He would never rid himself of it, no matter how many times she forgave him. But she could offer him one thing in his darkness… the same thing he'd offered her: hope. " Even though those were hard, dark times, you were still always my light. You will _always_ be my light." His kindness and the hope that one day she'd be able to love him fully were the only things keeping her going while she wilted away in the cell.

It was the sweetest thing she could have said to him. Loki needed that, to be a light in someone's darkness in order to forget his own. He needed to be wanted and desired, not for what he could do but for who he was. "Darling, have I mentioned you are perfect?"

Nancy giggled and pulled him closer, needing to feel him next to her. "I don't know if I'd say _perfect_ …." She shrugged and smiled. "But so are you. Perfect and handsome and charming and mysterious. The same as you were the day I met you… but so much better."

"Love, I'm touched." Loki pressed a hand over his heart as he gave her a sincere smile. "You really thought all that about me from the start? Quite a lot for me to live up to."

Nancy shrugged sheepishly. "I was completely and entirely infatuated with you from the very beginning. Why else would I spend two years searching for you? Looking for ways to contact you again? Mourning your loss? I loved you, Loki. Even then."

"I was the villain then." Loki knit his brow, not quite understanding what she saw in him even back then. He couldn't stand the thought of some of the things he did, let alone bear to consider what others might think of his actions.

"Yes, but you were so much more. Hidden beneath the pain." Nancy took his face in her hands. She needed him to understand what she saw in him. The _light_ she saw in him. "I saw _you_ , not the villain."

Loki blew out a breath and kissed her deeply, pulling her into his arms in an attempt to remind himself she wasn't like the others. "You are wonderful."

"And you, dear. So wonderful and so completely mine. As I am yours. Forever." Nancy kissed him again, savoring his love and affection. It had taken so long, and the cost had been great, but finally, _finally_ they were together. Equals and partners in life. Lovers and friends. And it had all been absolutely worth every moment of pain. It was all so worth it.


End file.
